See, this is what I didn't understand - because where I live, the oldest child was always the golden child who got to run around wild, do whatever, get to do everything sooner, got everything they wanted, are held less accountable.... Meanwhile the leash got tighter on every kid. Like, you can usually tell someone was a younger kid because their parents were more controlling and restrictive. I live in the states. No, I'm not Asian.
nope nope nope, the oldest is usually the golden child, lots of parents stop being attached to their kids the more they have and only care about the first one
I got the worst of both worlds. High pressure to get straight A's, didn't apply to my siblings since they have learning disabilities. AND I am the scapegoat so much that my youngest sibling is aware of it and uses it to their advantage to get away with stuff
When perfection isn’t perfect enough so you still get the blame for everything wrong with your family because they expect your perfection to be perfect enough to single handedly fix the systemic mental and behavioural issues and generational trauma that they perpetuate - but don’t dare actually try to fix those issues by suggesting to your family they should seek the help that they need, how dare you suggest their mentally abusive asses are the problem - but also fix this damn family on your own while taking on all the responsibilities and doing 15 hobbies you hate with no mistakes so they can have bragging rights and getting straight A’s in every subject you even consider studying - what do you mean your burnt out and stressed to the point you can’t keep food down or sleep or stay awake or breathe properly anymore? We DoNt HaVe MeNtAl IlLnEsSeS iN tHiS fAmIlY!!!!!
Like in Encanto : Isabela : golden child (first grandchildren, hate all this pressure, bottle up her negative emotions and lash them out on Mirabel) Luisa : lost child (nobody seems to really pay attention to her, especially during the dinner scene, until they need her to carry, move or bring something heavy) Mirabel : scapegoat (getting blamed for all her family issues because she is powerless and dare to question those issues)
Except with her own Parents its the other way around putting their focus on Mirabel since shes treated as the family black sheep while neglecting Isabella and Luisa since they already get enough attention for their abilities. Can't blame them really since abuela is the one encouraging everyone to scapegoat Mirabelle and her parents are trying to make up for it
@@ZorimePatireminds me of eda and lilith from the owl house! Lilith was the "independent" one while eda was the troublemaker, which caused the former to be negleted from her parents attention, since it was mostly focused on eda It led lilith to resent her sister and then SPOILERS
@@ZorimePati i wouldn't say they neglect their other daugthers that much. Augustin wears a flower button at his jacket and a sock with weights embroideries on it, symbolizing Isabella and Luisa. We also sees him chasing Luisa to confort her at the end of the dinner after realizing she lost her gift.
They make a deal that Henry never touches the cello again but I really hope Peter would mature and realize a talent like that shouldn’t be squandered because of their parents’ irrational standards.
I actually wrote a fanfiction chapter in the Deathly Hallows called Family Reunion. It takes place between the Silver Doe and Xenophillius Lovegood. Long story short the Doe comes back and tells Harry the Durselys went back to Privet Drive and they are not going to be safe. Harry convinces Ron and Hermione to accompany him and when they arrive the Durselys are already being tortured. The trio save them and afterwards Vernon starts crying and hugging Harry. Vernon apologies for how they treated him and thanks him. Harry tells them they can't return to their house until the war is over. Before they leave Harry and Dudley have a really nice conversation: "So how long until you beat this guy Potter?" "I don't know Dudley. There's a lot I have to do and I'm not sure if I can." "Yes you will. This is the same bloke who couldn't kill you as a baby. How many times has he tried to kill you over these past years and still failed? He doesn't stand a chance. You're my cousin aren't you?"
Another thing I loved about Dudley's growth of character was that he made Harry cups of tea. I remember from one of the books, that Harry woke up every morning by stepping into scalding cups of tea or cold cups of tea. He thought it was just a prank from Dudley but it was Dudley's way of thanking him for saving his life against the Dementors.
My older brother was the golden child to my mother, me the younger sister was the scapegoat to her, my father and I get along great, we have similar personalities. My mother forgot my birthday a few times because of what my brother did, and he got praised for school projects when my dad and I were the ones who did them.
It is sad too. Because what the golden child doesn't realize is that he or she is being abused too without realizing. Because the golden child is the golden child because he or she benefits the narcissistic parent or parents the most and is expected to be perfect in school, hobbies, sports, etc and can often never get privacy and/or peace and quiet. It is easy for the scapegoat to realize he or she is being abused because the scapegoat doesn't benefit the narcissistic parent or parents in anyway shade or form and is often neglected or mentally or physically abused and used as a household punching bag for the narcissistic parents and their golden child.
I feel like there will be a situation in peters life where his parents don’t let him go to college. And then Peter finally let’s go and goes to college. And for Henry he will grow up to be a music artist
@ either way Peter will have problems in the long run. Especially mentally, he will always feel like he need to be perfect. And that’s not something any human should care about
I was effected by this. My dad did unspeakable things to my sister & treated my like a princess. He also made me write on paper until my fingers hurt when I stole from the store. Thankfully, he lost custody & now can only see me with supervision. ( He’s not allowed to see my sister )
Me and my sister had the same problem. She was the golden child, I was the scape goat. She was a straight A student, I was not. Anytime something went wrong my father would go berserk and take it out on me thinking it was my fault when actually, it was my sister. I was always given hand-me-down stuff. I hated it. Some years later, I've realised the pressure she's been under. Always doing her best to be perfect and all for nothing, because narcissistic parents never actually care about the child's wellbeing as long as they are perfect in every way. She herself admitted she had her own demons to battle. My sister and I reconciled and moved past our differences and now we're a great team. A small glimpse of hope for all of you dealing with a sibling. It's never too late to put past behind and be each other's best support. Don't let narcissistic parents or care takers make you hate the easiest best friend you could ever have.
@@oni_with_potenialwell 79% out of 100 in my country gets you a C. To get A, you need 95% and over 45% of my class gets A in finals so 79% is considered as a failing score in my class. The lowest I ever got was 81 in all my school life, but I am getting better day by day. This time out of 25 class tests, I got full mark in 22 of them! In others I got less by 4 or 5 marks! I want to beat the topper but before that I have beat 4 people who are ahead of me and then the topper. Pretty hard since they are the best in our grade.
40 mins ago and this is really sad Everyone thinks that it feels really good to be the golden child but being a golden child sucks really bad. You always have to be the best in everything. You always have to fulfil high expectations and when make one mistake, it feels like the world is going to end. I once had a friend who was what you call a “golden child” and when she used to make trivial mistakes in class, she used cry while everyone would just be shocked. Whenever she got 19/20, she used to panic a lot, saying “what would my mother do to me when she learns about this? She is going to be so mad oh no” and then just start crying. It would take me and my 2 best friends to comfort her. Through her, I got to understand what it feels to be a golden child. Always having the pressure and tension. Glad my parents treat me and my elder brother equally and love us equally as well.
I really like how Dudley comes to recognize how unfair and wrong his parents’ (and his own) treatment of Harry was. Rowling could have simply kept him being a spoiled, entitled kid who despises Harry to the end, mirroring the vitriol and hatred spewed by his parents, but the quiet moment between him and Harry and his genuine worry over Harry’s safety is a really satisfying moment of character growth. There’s something profound about him breaking away from the bigotry and prejudice instilled in him by his parents.
@@WispyBlueBricksGPX They are both being abused. It is easy for the scapegoat to realize he is being abused but not so much for the golden child to realize that.
I'm the youngest child. But I was in a weird position. My dad and mom both narcissistic people. My dad showered me with attention and gifts everything I ever wanted. As long as I met the high expectations of him. Getting A's in school and college. Excelling in extra curricular activities, even being perfect in cooking. My dad found potential in me because we were both similar. In musical talent and intelligence. But my mom made me her scapegoat. And my older sibling her golden child. The one that can do no wrong. So she would punish me for things my sister did and neglect me labeling me a problem child. Meanwhile father showering me with love and attention only when I excelled in academics and with his high expectations. Fun
there is a reason, you're female, aren't u? if you are, she doesn't see u as her child, not fully. She sees you as her competition for her husbands attention, creepy, i know. This kind of thing is generational im afraid, her father never gave her attention now here u are stealing her husbands, and having the attentive father she never had. Shes jealous, and feels inadequate for those feelings, she believes she isn't a good mother and subconsciously sees this, so she over compensates on your other siblings to feel like a good mother while hiding behind the idea that, shes just giving the other children the affection her father never gave and the missing attention that ur father only shows to u...trying to fill the gap as they say. The sad part is, their is no cure for her behavior until she can self analyze her actions, and she wont...itll make her feel bad. so shes stuck in an abusive loop until u leave her for college or adulthood, then shell be forced to asses. Will it help? likely not, shes been treating u this way for a while and already rationalized it to herself.
That's very similar to what my grandma and her brother went through. My grandma was her dad's golden child but was scapegoated by her mum while her brother had the other way around. And when my grandmother had kids my aunt was the golden child. And then when my mum and aunt had kids they both had a golden child. Now I'm an aunt and can only hope my brother who was the golden child will not repeat history.
In my family, there's no Golden Child or Scrape goat because my family thinks there's no such thing and being the Golden Child can turn you into a perfection obsessed maniac with depression.
@@katiebonser9712 That's great! That's how normal parents are supposed to be. However, narcissistic parents will always have a golden child and a scapegoat.
My step mom always favored her biological children but never had the same care or feelings for me or my sister. She always loved them, but if they wanted a toy or anything, they got it. If me or my sister wanted something we had to work for it or do extra chores just to get it. I tried to be a good kid but there were times I screwed up (either with my grades or I made a poor decision) and I would get absolutely no benefits at all. My step brothers and I are still really close, especially when they realized that she wasn't being kind to us as she was with them, but my step mom is effectively dead to us (not actually dead, but we don't speak to her or even acknowledge her if she tries to talk to any of us) But for me and my sister, we both had to grow up a bit more quickly because of that, when we should have had a decent childhood. Parental favoritism is possibly one of the worst sins a parent could ever commit
In the case of Perfect Peter I like to assume that Delightful Desiree (that's her actual name) was in her youth very similar to Peter and wants Peter to be perfect the way she never could be and failed to enforce on Henry, who is more like Silly Simon was during his youth along with his brother Fussy Francis who was the Peter in their relationship. In the case of Desiree, Rich Ruby could've been the Henry in their sibling relationship. All of this is hinted during the episode Silly Siblings.
Then Henry will win in life and Peter will fail, it seems as if Rich Ruby ran into some money whether it was due to her own success or more likely through marriage. Henry is always seen being married to Margaret in the future and we know that Margaret gets princess treatment so it likely means that she’s rich along with her being a celebrity so Henry will win like Ruby and Peter will lose like his mother
I was the golden child in my family and it's left me with constant guilt, pressure and anxiety. I constantly apologise for everything including things that probably aren't even my fault in the slightest. I feel horrible because I was treated better than my sister and also teased her about it when I was little, because I was a stupid kid. I'm now stuck with NPD, Depression and honestly a whole list of disorders that might or might not be related to this. Thankfully my sister and I started to connect when we moved away from my father, because we have other shared trauma and started to be treated a bit more equally. I'm still the golden child from my mum's perspective though, she just makes it less obvious and I hate her for it. I still live with her and any attempt to escape her she tries to manipulate me into staying. She even said she'd prefer to lock me up with several locks on my door than let me move out. I think it was a joke but it was far from funny. By now I've figured out that it's okay to fail and all, but the pressure still weighs on me subconsciously and it's absolutely excruciating. Thank you for covering this, I've never seen anyone talk about this. It means a lot.
@@williamaftonsdiscordkitten Did you also lack privacy and/or peace and quiet? Because most golden children of narcissistic parents always complained about not having any privacy or peace and quiet.
@@jasonrandom372 Yes, actually. I still do unfortunately. I still live with my mother and she demands to know where I am at all times as an example. She claims it's for safety, but I don't believe her. She also went through my phone when I was younger, even though I literally had a mental breakdown, begging her to stop (Thankfully there was nothing bad on my phone, but it still felt horribly violating.) She strictly banned me from having social media at all and cried, having a manipulative mental breakdown when I confessed to having social media. (I was 16, almost 17 at that time) Generally, I feel unsafe, watched and monitored all the time. There are definitely worse parents when it comes to these aspects, but it's not easy to deal with. I literally have to sneak around the house, hoping that she doesn't hear me and feel a huge wave of adrenaline and fight or flight response every time I hear her footsteps approaching my bedroom. Thankfully, I managed to get some external help, and will be moving out very soon. I will definitely quit or at least heavily restrict contact to her as soon as she paid off the money she stole from me, which is about 5000€.
You missed an opportunity by not including Zuko and Azula here. The last bunch of episodes of TLA beautifully showcases how, paired with parents to encourage violence, Darwinism and bloodlust, this treatment can destroy the Golden Child. Azula's mental health takes a nose-dive until the final battle, when her Scapegoat brother, defeats her with the help of a friend. The thought that Zuko, who she was taught was inferior to her from birth, should walk away while she is defeated is entirely too much and her mind completely breaks as she is reduced to an almost feral state, screaming, sobbing and writhing. Azula was explicitly taught that there was no difference between second place and a bug to be squashed under one's shoe, so to find herself behind her brother in anything at all broke her.
I was thinking the same thing! The handling of Azula’s fall from grace and her complete mental breakdown thanks to her superiority complex, the dismissal from her father, her unresolved mommy issues, and her outrage over Zuko proving that he WASN’T inferior was so beautifully done. You can’t help but feel pity for this ruthless but damaged golden child who has tumbled so completely off of her pedestal, even as you’re gratified to see her defeated.
You forgot Azula from Avatar The Last Air Bender showing real symptoms of Golden Child Syndrome in the final episode when she has a mental breakdown after she the golden child loses the final battle to brother Zuko the scapegoat.
I like how, in all three of the examples that you picked (If you go with the book description of Dudley) "the golden child" has blonde hair, just in case the audience needs a visual cue.
Azula from Avatar: The last Airbender, would also be seen as a golden child Her father favors her over her brother and the pressure of being perfect slowly drives her insane
I have always said this, and I will post it here. If your parents had a favorite child, your parents didn't love ANY of their children. Not only that, but the favorite child was the most unlucky child because they would most likely become dependent on their parents, while the least favorite learned to fend for themselves at an earlier age.
7:10 Dudley’s growth as a character had a payoff in an earlier draft of Deathly Hallows. In the epilogue, Harry and Ginny bump into Dudley dropping his kids off at the station for school and asks them where to find platform 9 3/4.
That's different though. Some cultures treat marriage as a family affair much like a corporate fusion. Isabella is simply performing her role in making the family unit function. She's just been dealt a bad hand by Abuela.
@@d4n737 That still doesn't mean Isabella isn't a golden child. She was Abuela's favorite and wanted her to be perfect every single way while treating Mirabel as a scapegoat.
@@alexanderfoote6153This also hits harder in an early draft to the film where it's revealed Isabela was actually in love with a Boy who didn't meet the Expectations a perfect as he would have been short, overweight and geeky But He was scrapped from the film as the directors didn't like him for some reason
Thank you so much for not describing golden children as narcissists/egomaniacs! So many people think we're evil, selfish, and that we think we're the best. Most of us actually have really low self-esteem.
Harry was raised by his uncle and aunt after his parents died. Lily was rather a golden child because her parents were treating her differently ever since she got her Hogwarts letter. This neglect cause Petunia to hate her sister.
This is probably why Petunia favours Dudley so much, because she doesn’t want Dudley to be the scapegoat like she was (even though he’s also far from being a golden child)
Shouldn’t Anais be on there as well? I mean think about it, Nicole would ALWAYS blame Gumball and Darwin even when it’s not even their fault and she ALWAYS puts her sons down, and she puts an unnecessary amount of pressure on Anais who is only 4 years old just because she is smartest in the family and Nicole was being a hypocrite during “The Goons” she got mad at Richard for saying he favors Darwin when her golden child is clearly Anais and she even punishes Anais more harshly than her brothers. I know this is a bit stretchy to say Anais is Nicole’s golden child because to me she somewhat views Gumball as an extension of herself, I mean he’s blue cat just like her but also, you guys saw “The Parents” Nicole had a very rough childhood because Daniel and Mary having very unreasonable expectations on her not to mention they nearly killed her by giving her the wrong blood type, you guys know what happened during “The Fridge” and “The Hero”. Nicole was basically repeating the cycle of abuse during those episodes toward Gumball (and to a slight lesser extent Darwin and Anais due to what I said about the unnecessary amount of pressure). She forces Gumball to be a “winner” just like her even abandoned Gumball in a middle of a desert and she said she wasn’t disappointed in him when she IS disappointed in him, also during “The Hero” she told Gumball and Darwin she would not provide them the necessities anymore because they talked bad about Richard, I get Gumball was being unreasonably mean in during “The Hero” but why couldn’t she just ground Gumball and Darwin for refusing to apologize? That’s not so hard to understand. Also why was Richard at their school to begin with, he wasn’t supposed to be there. I also get the creators of AWOG making Richard and Nicole flawed parents as reminder to the viewers that parents are not perfect. But as I said, there are limits and there is a difference between a mistake and a bad decision and repeating the cycle of abuse is a bad decision and a bad decision was made intentionally
What are you on about lol Anais isn’t pressured to do anything and Gumball and Darwin are barely even disciplined by Nicole. If they are, it’s usually deserved. Have you even watched TAWOG?
@@littlemoth4956 In “The Goons” Nicole told Anais she expected more from her and won’t let Anais hang out with Richard, Gumball and Darwin just because of their low IQ, and having her do puzzles with a ton of pieces. Nicole has way higher expectations on Anais than on Gumball and Darwin because like I said, Anais is the smarter person in the family and she most likely punished Anais offscreen for kissing a frog thinking it can turn into a prince Also, during “The Hero”, does Nicole have the right to call out Gumball and Darwin for talking bad about Richard? Yes. Does she had the right to throw rocks at him and Darwin and commit child neglect by not providing her sons the necessities they needed in order to survive? No. Like I said, Gumball was uncharacteristically overly mean than usual in this episode for his refusal to apologize to Richard and talking down to him but why didn’t Nicole just grounded him and take away things he DOESN’T need in order to survive such as taking away video games or tv privileges. There is absolutely no good reason to commit child neglect. Gumball may have stated that he and Darwin favor Nicole over Richard during “The Password” but guess what, Nicole doesn’t favor him nor Darwin, Anais is her favorite child, and as I said she blames her sons for EVERYTHING even when it’s not even their fault, she blamed her sons for her bad day at work during “The Worst” by screaming at them and during “The Allergy” she said that Anais has all the good genes. And yes, Nicole WAS disappointed in him during “The Fridge” and she shows her disappointment and resentment towards Gumball and Darwin ALL the time
@@sissysovereign1294 No, Nicole just favors Anais because of her high IQ, and since Gumball and Darwin’s IQ’s are unfortunately the same as Richard’s, they’re her least favorites. Also Nicole is projecting her own bad childhood onto Gumball because she sees him as herself during her own childhood when Mary and Daniel were putting WAY too much pressure on her by forcing her to be CEO, sign her up for so many activities, nearly killed her by giving her the wrong blood type and they even kicked Nicole out of the house when she was a TEENAGER, and it doesn’t help with the fact that Gumball is a blue cat just like his mom. Like when Anais does something bad she would get grounded for 6 months but when she “punishes” Gumball and Darwin she will resort to child abuse and neglect by telling them she will not provide them necessities anymore, not to mention she will always yell at Gumball and Darwin even over the littlest thing, but when’s the last time you saw her yell at Anais?
I used to read a book series where there was a group of girls who would have different things going on. One of the characters was a single child. But her mom forced her to take dance, painting, piano lessons, horseback riding, ballet, etc. The girl basically never said a word about how she felt about this. Her mother tried to get her into “high society”, by trying to make her friends with the richest girl in town, and in the books, it's frequently said that her mom dresses her up like a doll. In the horseback riding classes, on the first day of classes, she wore expensive riding clothes that you would see in the National Horse Show instead of around the stable. The only thing the girl pushed herself (brutally hard) into was her grades. She had to have straight-A’s. She would go beyond what you could picture, including a paper due at the end of the year she would start at the beginning of the year by writing and researching it to make sure she not only got that A, but best her classmates. She ended up with Anorexia. Because she got a B-plus in advanced math. She starved herself for two weeks until her friends realized what was happening and talked her into getting help. All so she could just get that bit of control over what she lost. That always stuck with me, especially with her mom driving her into that state, and how she was so driven to impress her and please her to get that approval that she ended up like that.
@@samantheyy It was a book series called “The Saddle Club”. The girl's name was Lisa, and she was actually the one who started riding in the first book because of her mom. It's a good children's series, especially since it deals with issues that can get dark.
Ulga was actually a good sister, but was so much older than Helga that they didn't bond much and didn't realize that things were as bad as they were. Yes she was a "golden child", but look at what happens when she is alone with Helga. She is kind, loving, and the two actually bond. The real problem with that family is that the parents have their own issues from selfish achievement by association and alcoholism.
I was the middle child and youngest girl. It was hell. My dad was a narcissist and it was super pressuring to be perfect. I am awful at maths and my dad would scream at me. I had to be good at Art, Sports, English, Languages, But I'm awful at languages. I am good at the other things. I had my older brother who was the golden child boy and I was the golden child girl. Everyone else was a scapegoat. I hated my self, I thought it was my fault.
I'm sorry, but Dudley is NOT a golden child and don't you dare compare him to Peter. Perfect Peter has an entirely fabricated personality made to please his superiors; his parents and teachers. He's been conditioned to be innocent. Dudley is just a brat that has never been told no. Golden children are not the same thing as spoiled children. Peter works harder than anyone to be liked, while Dudley indulges in every whim and is the leader-type to two school bullies.... That's not a kid who'd expected to be perfect, that's just a kid who's SEEN as perfect no matter what
Um, yeah. Dudley IS a golden child. He was a bad kid, but a "Golden Child" usually means a child that can do no wrong "in the eyes of their parents." Dudley could have grown up to be a Nazi, and the Dursleys would have praised him for all he did. Meanwhile, Harry got in trouble with his aunt and uncle for even BREATHING!!!! Compared to Harry, Dudley was a golden child; even if he was a bratty bully.
@@tencents6I'm not so convinced. Consider the fourth book where he threw a massive hissy fit on being forced on a diet. In the subsequent book, in the opening, this would have been the perfect time to throw Harry under the bus, yet Dudley knew Harry saved his life.
@@poncho9587 Doesn't matter. Dudley was still the favorite. His parents put him on a diet because they care about him. If it was Harry, they wouldn't do a thing. Also, Dudley might have become nicer, but his parents still treated him better.
That's not what a golden child is, a golden child is the parents favourite, sometimes a child has to be perfect to maintain that position in Dudley's case he was the favourite because of genetics, he couldn't make himself the black sheep if he tried.
@@d4n737 Golden child means a child who is parents' favorite and can do nothing wrong in their eyes. Dudley is the Dursleys' favorite. Dudley IS a golden child. That's like saying Isabella from Encanto isn't a golden child, because she's mean to Mirabel.
I would like to see Horrid Henry snap and his bottled up emotions boil to the surface as a teenager. I would love to see Horrid Henry become a bratty rebellious teenager who talks back to his parents and teachers, skips school, breaks rules and laws, trespasses and even runs away from home. It would be nice to see Henry finally have enough of his parents abuse and run away from home and never come back and start living on the streets, and I am sure his parents wouldn’t even look for him cause they would be so focused on Peter they wouldn’t even care that Henry is gone
Peter has a phycopathic promblem right now. But his parents choose to ignore it. Not to mention peters people pleaser mentality will restrict him from ever being himself. Peter will have a whole load of mental problems due to his parents. Henry will let go of his parents and finally be free.
Another great video :) I think there’s a few additional things worth mentioning too. The whole concept of the “golden child” doesn’t just affect the one it’s targeted at, but also on their siblings, and it can cause lifelong damage. My sister and I don’t live near each other anymore, but we’re on good terms. That being said, she’s always been the golden child. Our mom put high expectations on my sister, as high expectations were put on my mom when she was younger too. The problem then though is that i’d say something like “Hey mom, look, I got a B in math!” when I struggled a lot with it, and she’d kinda gloss over it cuz my sister was getting A+ on all her subjects. I had a good relationship with my sister growing up, and with my mom too, but nowadays I struggle a ton with expectations because i’m constantly being compared to my sister. I’m currently unemployed (though i’m searching for work) while she’s just graduated law school, almost receiving valedictorian, and she also has multiple part time jobs. I know i’m rambling a bit, but I felt it was relevant. Preferential treatment towards a child can have really bad effects on the other children too. I know in most cases, siblings can lose their connection over stuff like this
Alot of scapegoat kids cut contact with families when they leave the house at 18 then the families act all surprised and ask why the scapegoat kid isnt wanting to take care of the elderly parents Also dudley and harry are cousins
Goddd this struck a nerve with me 😭 soon as my grades started slipping and i lost 'interest in my hobbies' (they werent my hobbies just activities i was told i needed to do) , was made to feel like the worst, i started suffering from bad anxiety, paranoia and depression and was told it was cause i was 'hanging out with the wrong people who were bad influences' ... not once was i asked 'are you okay?, do you feel too much pressure?' Nope was grounded and made to 'study more' as if that would help anything, it didnt
The one thing I like between Harry and Dudley is that Harry isn't afraid to throw it back at Dudley. Book 1. Vernon: "Get the post Dudley!" Dudley: "Make Harry get it!" Vernon: "Get the post Harry!" Harry: "Make Dudley get it!" Also Book 1. Dudley: "They flush people's heads down the toilet first day at Stonewall. Want to come up stairs and practise?" Harry: "No thanks, the poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it. It might be sick." Harry then ran before Dudley could work out what he had said Book 2: Dudley: "I KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS!" Harry said nothing. Dudley repeats himself. "I KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS!" Harry: "Well done. You've finally learned the days of the week." Harry also dishes it back at his Aunt and Uncle. Book 5. Petunia: "What are you doing under our window?" Vernon: "Yes! Good point, Petunia. What were you doing under our window?" Harry: "Listening to the news." Vernon: "Listening to the news? AGAIN?" Harry: "Well, it changes everyday, you see." Vernon: "Don't take that tone with me boy! We know you're up to something." Petunia: "We're not stupid, you know." Harry: "Well, that's news to me." A few pages later, Harry starts making fun of Dudley's new nickname "Big D" (being honest, who wouldn't laugh at that?) He also mocks him for the names Petunia calls him. Things like "Popkin" "Dinky Diddydums" "Ickle Diddykins" that sort of thing. Dudley tells him to "shut his face" and Harry says, "you don't tell her to shut her face." "Her" of course referring to Petunia.
In my family, I have 2 twin brothers named Jacob and Leo. One has autism, and the other has angelman syndrome. Here’s how it works in my family. Me, Older Brother, Little Sisters: Lost Leo and Jacob: Golden Little Sisters (Chloe and Sierra): Scapegoat (They are sweet and kind but they blame people sometimes.)
Story of my life really... My sisters were always considered the favourite out of the 3 of us, me being the oldest n suffering with autism made me out to be tge problem child n they treated me badly for tge simplist mistakes i made growing up, wasn't invited to anyones birthday party or sleepovers because everyone thought i was strange.. meanwhile my sisters get all the attention and grew up to be successful.. these videos were an eye opener for me and Its unlocked certain memories of my childhood i didn't want to revisit.
6:46 It was actually the Dementor’s attack on Dudley that caused the change in how he saw Harry & himself as a whole, finally seeing the horrid ugly person he’d become & it terrified him…but also caused the change within him.
Do you think Perfect Peter was getting more and more evil throughout the show it feels he was willing to be more extreme at first it was snitching on Henry to get him in trouble and then it slowly turned into getting him in even more trouble untruthfully and as much as he would get Henry in trouble before it would have a reason but later he would be more and more untruthful about it and provoking it
Let me clarify something to the older children/scapegoats. Being the youngest doesn't mean you can do whatever you want and get the best parenting, it means you're their last shot to get it right and you WILL get it right and be perfect. Being the golden child isn't a luxury, it's a responsibility. You have to always agree with them, always be what they expect, always be obedient, never argue with them, never be yourself if it goes against what they want/expect, you get treated like your dumb for trying to take care of yourself, you get hate and mocked by your siblings for something you don't even want or enjoy, and you always, ALWAYS have to keep up the act, because the SECOND you don't, they take back all their love until you "earn it back", and there's so much more I've blocked out. Get over yourselves, being the youngest or the golden child isn't what you crack it up to be and we deal with enough without getting hate form you for something we never asked for.
Honestly I think the golden child's sibling is the real victim.I mean they get neglected and are made to feel worthless, while the golden child is loved by everyone.
@@IsabellaM-tk7fx Both Peter and Henry have it both hard either way. Henry suffers from favouritism and neglect and Peter suffers from trying to be perfect for his parents and would panic if he didn’t succeed in doing something that would make his parents proud of him.
When Peter was sick and said, "I feel much better mom. I want to go to school. It's science today," and then immediately covered his mouth and made a mad dash for the bathroom. Or when he was crying after field day, and told Henry, "I can't tell mom and dad I didn't win anything!"
When me and my two cousins were with my dad's mom savanna the oldest one was the favorite and stormy the middle one was the scrap goat and me the youngest was the lost child to her.
I grew up with these books and this show and I find it so odd but awesome that now people are talking about it so much. I identified so much with show Henry, not because of how my mum treated me but how the entirety of my ‘dads’ side of the family did. Expected to be the golden child but treated like a monster. You’d think the way they talked about me that I was committing crimes. But no. While my cousins were getting In trouble with police, I was… struggling with my crippling disabilities. Which everyone knows is so much worse than stealing, vandalism, domestic violence and under age alcoholism /sarcasm
One of my friends was in the same spot but guess what The Golden child turned out to be a drug addict won't deal with his parents for taking care of him and then the one that they thought were the eye Care did his own business and became a huge financier with a beautiful supermodel wife and two kids
Mine was less about academics and more about expectations around behaviour (I automatically put pressure on myself with that one as I associated it with good behaviour anyway). I wasnt a well behaved young child and once I got to school it was expected that I would be perfectly behaved or else. My sister was always a really well behaved young child so she was the "golden child" in meeting that expectation, but wasn't seen as academic, so whenever she did well at school she was always celebrated whereas it was just expected of me. Then when she hit teen years she became a nightmare with behaviour and was always at odds with me because she saw me as "the boffin", but I saw her as the one who got away with things I'd have gotten kicked out for. Then there was our younger brother who was the quiet one more just in the background.
The best part of the episode where Helga changes Olga grade is when she decides to confess the first thing she does is walk in, turn on the lights and turn off the stereo, and at that moment you realize that the whole time you have been hearing Mozart's Lacrimosa has been diegetic.🤣
Also on another note i realised my brother was the scapegoat child as an adult, it made me feel so angry for him and so sorry for him as even with the 7 year age gap, he was a kid (17, but still a kid!) He was grieving and acting out and rather than helping him, ya know the adults in his life! They made him out to be the one and only problem (no one is perfect in my family including me) which i found to be unfair
I remember when I was younger my mom used to hate me alot because i was autistic (idk if this matters much but she thought i was a burden bc i was special needs)anyway I remember when my brother (I’m 17 he’s 30 something years old and he told me that my mom favoured him later on in his adult life than his younger life much like me tho as a teenager girl who is still hated alot so i was literally a scapegoat for my mother’s unsolved problems in *HER* life and childhood
One thing I disagree though is the one that is made to look after the parents. Sometimes the golden child is deemed to be doing too important of things and the scapegoat needs to “do at least this much for them” as of having a permanent houseguest is easy. This facet of elder care mostly is a calculation on how little do they care for the scapegoat and how much responsibility instead of expectation they put on the golden child. Though of course that if the golden child is actually requested first and refuses they are not blamed for it.
Henry's parents remind me of watered down versiona of The High Evolutionary in Guardians of the Galaxy 3, they seek perfection in the things they created but fail to realise that no-one is perfect despite their high expectations
I feel like most only children get a strange mix of both. Like have standards and pressure because you’re the only one regardless of how much is put on u. Since you’re the only one seems like you should be perfect but if something goes wrong regardless its your fault
Okay so with Dudley and Harry, Harry is the cousin so their bio-kid is supposed to get most of the attention. I mean, admittedly they made some dick moves toward Harry but since they aren’t actually siblings Dudley isn’t really a golden child.
The oldest child: the scrape goat
The middle child: the lost child
The youngest child: the golden child
They all sound awful but the middle child sounds the least awful
See, this is what I didn't understand - because where I live, the oldest child was always the golden child who got to run around wild, do whatever, get to do everything sooner, got everything they wanted, are held less accountable....
Meanwhile the leash got tighter on every kid. Like, you can usually tell someone was a younger kid because their parents were more controlling and restrictive.
I live in the states. No, I'm not Asian.
oldest child can be the golden child as well
@@Terestraszexcuse me whilst I'm jealous 😂😂💀
nope nope nope, the oldest is usually the golden child, lots of parents stop being attached to their kids the more they have and only care about the first one
99% of sibling rivalries are caused by parents according to recent studies.
@@georgianagheorghe8848 especially narcissistic parents because the golden child must be better than the scapegoat. Or else!
...welp it always starts at home lol...
Nah, I'm just an asshole to my siblings.
@@kainoaharris6097 That's the 1% 😂
This needed studies? That to recent? Wow!
That is why favoritism is considered to be child abuse.
THANK YOU!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾❤
@@achingforstrengthYou're welcome.
I got the worst of both worlds. High pressure to get straight A's, didn't apply to my siblings since they have learning disabilities.
AND I am the scapegoat so much that my youngest sibling is aware of it and uses it to their advantage to get away with stuff
Same
When perfection isn’t perfect enough so you still get the blame for everything wrong with your family because they expect your perfection to be perfect enough to single handedly fix the systemic mental and behavioural issues and generational trauma that they perpetuate - but don’t dare actually try to fix those issues by suggesting to your family they should seek the help that they need, how dare you suggest their mentally abusive asses are the problem - but also fix this damn family on your own while taking on all the responsibilities and doing 15 hobbies you hate with no mistakes so they can have bragging rights and getting straight A’s in every subject you even consider studying - what do you mean your burnt out and stressed to the point you can’t keep food down or sleep or stay awake or breathe properly anymore? We DoNt HaVe MeNtAl IlLnEsSeS iN tHiS fAmIlY!!!!!
@@LokiStarOmen yes, this. The constant "How can this ever get better?" "When will X change?" But then get angry when suggesting therapy
Hopefully this isnt too personal, but what disabilities do they have?
@@sweetiepuffs99 one has dyscalculia and bad short term memory, the other one has dyslexia
Why?
You know it's bad if you do one bad thing, you expect to get kick out and never return
Especially if that thing is AN ACCIDENT and it was ACCIDENTALLY BREAKING A VASE!!!
No wonder I'm terrified when my siblings don't listen and I pick up the slack.
Scapegoat here but allow me to tell you that parents who do this to their kids are awful
Yea that’s sad
@@kaos5633yea that’s sad and unfortunate 😢
Like in Encanto :
Isabela : golden child (first grandchildren, hate all this pressure, bottle up her negative emotions and lash them out on Mirabel)
Luisa : lost child (nobody seems to really pay attention to her, especially during the dinner scene, until they need her to carry, move or bring something heavy)
Mirabel : scapegoat (getting blamed for all her family issues because she is powerless and dare to question those issues)
Except with her own Parents its the other way around putting their focus on Mirabel since shes treated as the family black sheep while neglecting Isabella and Luisa since they already get enough attention for their abilities. Can't blame them really since abuela is the one encouraging everyone to scapegoat Mirabelle and her parents are trying to make up for it
Antonio: The "Baby".
@@ZorimePatireminds me of eda and lilith from the owl house! Lilith was the "independent" one while eda was the troublemaker, which caused the former to be negleted from her parents attention, since it was mostly focused on eda
It led lilith to resent her sister and then SPOILERS
Always fun when people forget all about you until they need something.
@@ZorimePati i wouldn't say they neglect their other daugthers that much. Augustin wears a flower button at his jacket and a sock with weights embroideries on it, symbolizing Isabella and Luisa. We also sees him chasing Luisa to confort her at the end of the dinner after realizing she lost her gift.
Henry’s enjoyment and mastery of the cello as well as his rock star aspirations shows that he has a passion for music.
fr
They make a deal that Henry never touches the cello again but I really hope Peter would mature and realize a talent like that shouldn’t be squandered because of their parents’ irrational standards.
Dudley along with Neville was one of the few Harry Potter characters who had real character development.
So did Mrs Dursley when she realizes she's been a bitch to the last reminder of her sister.
The deleted scene of Dudley and Harry never fails to my my heart hurt😭😭😭 the character development after Harry saved him should’ve stayed in the film
I actually wrote a fanfiction chapter in the Deathly Hallows called Family Reunion. It takes place between the Silver Doe and Xenophillius Lovegood.
Long story short the Doe comes back and tells Harry the Durselys went back to Privet Drive and they are not going to be safe.
Harry convinces Ron and Hermione to accompany him and when they arrive the Durselys are already being tortured. The trio save them and afterwards Vernon starts crying and hugging Harry. Vernon apologies for how they treated him and thanks him. Harry tells them they can't return to their house until the war is over. Before they leave Harry and Dudley have a really nice conversation:
"So how long until you beat this guy Potter?"
"I don't know Dudley. There's a lot I have to do and I'm not sure if I can."
"Yes you will. This is the same bloke who couldn't kill you as a baby. How many times has he tried to kill you over these past years and still failed? He doesn't stand a chance. You're my cousin aren't you?"
I love Neville Longbottom and also Luna Lovegood.
Neville is awesome
Another thing I loved about Dudley's growth of character was that he made Harry cups of tea. I remember from one of the books, that Harry woke up every morning by stepping into scalding cups of tea or cold cups of tea. He thought it was just a prank from Dudley but it was Dudley's way of thanking him for saving his life against the Dementors.
"Every morning"
You'd think he'd at least check where to put his feet after the first few times it happened.
@@ReddwarfIV I fully believe Dudley put the tea in different places every day in an effort to make sure his cousin notices it.
Its confirmed now , henry is a borned musician and music is his passion
he'd make a good punk artist
@@darylchua2168he'd make good music artist in general
My older brother was the golden child to my mother, me the younger sister was the scapegoat to her, my father and I get along great, we have similar personalities. My mother forgot my birthday a few times because of what my brother did, and he got praised for school projects when my dad and I were the ones who did them.
It is sad too. Because what the golden child doesn't realize is that he or she is being abused too without realizing. Because the golden child is the golden child because he or she benefits the narcissistic parent or parents the most and is expected to be perfect in school, hobbies, sports, etc and can often never get privacy and/or peace and quiet. It is easy for the scapegoat to realize he or she is being abused because the scapegoat doesn't benefit the narcissistic parent or parents in anyway shade or form and is often neglected or mentally or physically abused and used as a household punching bag for the narcissistic parents and their golden child.
W dad
Perfect Peter is definitely going to have an anxiety disorder in the future caused by a fear of not being good enough
I feel like there will be a situation in peters life where his parents don’t let him go to college. And then Peter finally let’s go and goes to college.
And for Henry he will grow up to be a music artist
@Manicthecreator why wouldn't they let him go to the college. They seem like they would MAKE Peter go there
@ not really, they wouldn’t think he’s ready. Or they want to keep Peter with them.
@ either way Peter will have problems in the long run. Especially mentally, he will always feel like he need to be perfect.
And that’s not something any human should care about
Henry is actually really good at the cello (sorry I don't know the actual instrument) for someone who hates it 1:00
"Man I hate this instrument" *good playing* "Bro this instrument sucks so hard if anyone has drums lets swap"
That looks more like a bass but it’s too oddly animated for me to tell
Me who thinking that violin 🎻 💀
That’s definitely a cello, too small to be a bass
@@Bulebee-ex9lp Henry’s standing to play it but I get what you’re saying.
You know it’s bad if a golden child is getting sent to his or her room
EXCELLENT WORK.
I was effected by this.
My dad did unspeakable things to my sister & treated my like a princess.
He also made me write on paper until my fingers hurt when I stole from the store.
Thankfully, he lost custody & now can only see me with supervision.
( He’s not allowed to see my sister )
Omg he sounds like a arsehole
HA, karma is a bitch! Glad you are free from that pig 🫂
isnt making you write on paper until your hand is sore normal for every household
@@epicgamerpro999 Common, not normal. Still a form of abuse man, hope you can / have healed from it. Take care of yourself and all the best.
> Steal from store
> Get mild punishment
wow how horrible.
( sorry 4 ur sister i guess )
Me and my sister had the same problem. She was the golden child, I was the scape goat. She was a straight A student, I was not. Anytime something went wrong my father would go berserk and take it out on me thinking it was my fault when actually, it was my sister. I was always given hand-me-down stuff. I hated it.
Some years later, I've realised the pressure she's been under. Always doing her best to be perfect and all for nothing, because narcissistic parents never actually care about the child's wellbeing as long as they are perfect in every way. She herself admitted she had her own demons to battle. My sister and I reconciled and moved past our differences and now we're a great team.
A small glimpse of hope for all of you dealing with a sibling. It's never too late to put past behind and be each other's best support. Don't let narcissistic parents or care takers make you hate the easiest best friend you could ever have.
I once got a 79 percent on geography and around an 80 percent in science so my dad thought that I was failing school.
Those aren't bad numbers at all. What was he smoking 💀
Ikr. That’s still a great score. Those parents were definitely pressuring you.
@@oni_with_potenialwell 79% out of 100 in my country gets you a C. To get A, you need 95% and over 45% of my class gets A in finals so 79% is considered as a failing score in my class. The lowest I ever got was 81 in all my school life, but I am getting better day by day. This time out of 25 class tests, I got full mark in 22 of them! In others I got less by 4 or 5 marks! I want to beat the topper but before that I have beat 4 people who are ahead of me and then the topper. Pretty hard since they are the best in our grade.
You can get a 9 (highest score) in science in my country with a 60 something but i think its climbing up to a 70
@@ayushiabedin4530where are you from? Here in Bangladesh, 79% means an A grade.
40 mins ago and this is really sad
Everyone thinks that it feels really good to be the golden child but being a golden child sucks really bad. You always have to be the best in everything. You always have to fulfil high expectations and when make one mistake, it feels like the world is going to end. I once had a friend who was what you call a “golden child” and when she used to make trivial mistakes in class, she used cry while everyone would just be shocked. Whenever she got 19/20, she used to panic a lot, saying “what would my mother do to me when she learns about this? She is going to be so mad oh no” and then just start crying. It would take me and my 2 best friends to comfort her. Through her, I got to understand what it feels to be a golden child. Always having the pressure and tension. Glad my parents treat me and my elder brother equally and love us equally as well.
Who has ever said it feels good to be the golden child?
@@littlemoth4956 it could be anyone who has siblings. Because the golden child always gets attention.
I really like how Dudley comes to recognize how unfair and wrong his parents’ (and his own) treatment of Harry was. Rowling could have simply kept him being a spoiled, entitled kid who despises Harry to the end, mirroring the vitriol and hatred spewed by his parents, but the quiet moment between him and Harry and his genuine worry over Harry’s safety is a really satisfying moment of character growth. There’s something profound about him breaking away from the bigotry and prejudice instilled in him by his parents.
Sadly its true, both the Scapegoat and the Golden Child are indeed victims
I feel like i should focus both kids in the future
Of their parents
@@joshuagraham2843 please do that, give them equal attention and treat them equally
@@WispyBlueBricksGPX They are both being abused. It is easy for the scapegoat to realize he is being abused but not so much for the golden child to realize that.
I'm the youngest child. But I was in a weird position. My dad and mom both narcissistic people. My dad showered me with attention and gifts everything I ever wanted. As long as I met the high expectations of him. Getting A's in school and college. Excelling in extra curricular activities, even being perfect in cooking. My dad found potential in me because we were both similar. In musical talent and intelligence. But my mom made me her scapegoat. And my older sibling her golden child. The one that can do no wrong. So she would punish me for things my sister did and neglect me labeling me a problem child. Meanwhile father showering me with love and attention only when I excelled in academics and with his high expectations. Fun
Man. That's fucked
there is a reason, you're female, aren't u? if you are, she doesn't see u as her child, not fully. She sees you as her competition for her husbands attention, creepy, i know. This kind of thing is generational im afraid, her father never gave her attention now here u are stealing her husbands, and having the attentive father she never had. Shes jealous, and feels inadequate for those feelings, she believes she isn't a good mother and subconsciously sees this, so she over compensates on your other siblings to feel like a good mother while hiding behind the idea that, shes just giving the other children the affection her father never gave and the missing attention that ur father only shows to u...trying to fill the gap as they say. The sad part is, their is no cure for her behavior until she can self analyze her actions, and she wont...itll make her feel bad. so shes stuck in an abusive loop until u leave her for college or adulthood, then shell be forced to asses. Will it help? likely not, shes been treating u this way for a while and already rationalized it to herself.
That's very similar to what my grandma and her brother went through. My grandma was her dad's golden child but was scapegoated by her mum while her brother had the other way around. And when my grandmother had kids my aunt was the golden child. And then when my mum and aunt had kids they both had a golden child. Now I'm an aunt and can only hope my brother who was the golden child will not repeat history.
In my family, there's no Golden Child or Scrape goat because my family thinks there's no such thing and being the Golden Child can turn you into a perfection obsessed maniac with depression.
@@katiebonser9712 That's great! That's how normal parents are supposed to be. However, narcissistic parents will always have a golden child and a scapegoat.
@@jasonrandom372 I forgot that the golden child can have low self-esteem issues
this is honestly sad, i hope the parents gets punished
Punished? What about court
That works too@@Kennysstan
"GO TO YOUR ROOMS, MOM AND DAD!!"
My step mom always favored her biological children but never had the same care or feelings for me or my sister.
She always loved them, but if they wanted a toy or anything, they got it.
If me or my sister wanted something we had to work for it or do extra chores just to get it.
I tried to be a good kid but there were times I screwed up (either with my grades or I made a poor decision) and I would get absolutely no benefits at all.
My step brothers and I are still really close, especially when they realized that she wasn't being kind to us as she was with them, but my step mom is effectively dead to us (not actually dead, but we don't speak to her or even acknowledge her if she tries to talk to any of us)
But for me and my sister, we both had to grow up a bit more quickly because of that, when we should have had a decent childhood.
Parental favoritism is possibly one of the worst sins a parent could ever commit
In the case of Perfect Peter I like to assume that Delightful Desiree (that's her actual name) was in her youth very similar to Peter and wants Peter to be perfect the way she never could be and failed to enforce on Henry, who is more like Silly Simon was during his youth along with his brother Fussy Francis who was the Peter in their relationship. In the case of Desiree, Rich Ruby could've been the Henry in their sibling relationship. All of this is hinted during the episode Silly Siblings.
Wait, where is it confirmed that her name is Desiree?
Then Henry will win in life and Peter will fail, it seems as if Rich Ruby ran into some money whether it was due to her own success or more likely through marriage.
Henry is always seen being married to Margaret in the future and we know that Margaret gets princess treatment so it likely means that she’s rich along with her being a celebrity so Henry will win like Ruby and Peter will lose like his mother
Is that a headcanon name for the mom or....?
Wasn't her name Francisca?
More like Delusional Desirée
I was the golden child in my family and it's left me with constant guilt, pressure and anxiety. I constantly apologise for everything including things that probably aren't even my fault in the slightest. I feel horrible because I was treated better than my sister and also teased her about it when I was little, because I was a stupid kid. I'm now stuck with NPD, Depression and honestly a whole list of disorders that might or might not be related to this.
Thankfully my sister and I started to connect when we moved away from my father, because we have other shared trauma and started to be treated a bit more equally.
I'm still the golden child from my mum's perspective though, she just makes it less obvious and I hate her for it. I still live with her and any attempt to escape her she tries to manipulate me into staying. She even said she'd prefer to lock me up with several locks on my door than let me move out. I think it was a joke but it was far from funny.
By now I've figured out that it's okay to fail and all, but the pressure still weighs on me subconsciously and it's absolutely excruciating.
Thank you for covering this, I've never seen anyone talk about this. It means a lot.
Sorry you went through that. Sounds like a really difficult situation.
So glad you took some comfort from the video!
@@SnipeSnap Thank you for making it. C:
@@williamaftonsdiscordkitten Did you also lack privacy and/or peace and quiet? Because most golden children of narcissistic parents always complained about not having any privacy or peace and quiet.
@@jasonrandom372 Yes, actually. I still do unfortunately. I still live with my mother and she demands to know where I am at all times as an example. She claims it's for safety, but I don't believe her. She also went through my phone when I was younger, even though I literally had a mental breakdown, begging her to stop (Thankfully there was nothing bad on my phone, but it still felt horribly violating.) She strictly banned me from having social media at all and cried, having a manipulative mental breakdown when I confessed to having social media. (I was 16, almost 17 at that time)
Generally, I feel unsafe, watched and monitored all the time. There are definitely worse parents when it comes to these aspects, but it's not easy to deal with. I literally have to sneak around the house, hoping that she doesn't hear me and feel a huge wave of adrenaline and fight or flight response every time I hear her footsteps approaching my bedroom. Thankfully, I managed to get some external help, and will be moving out very soon. I will definitely quit or at least heavily restrict contact to her as soon as she paid off the money she stole from me, which is about 5000€.
You missed an opportunity by not including Zuko and Azula here. The last bunch of episodes of TLA beautifully showcases how, paired with parents to encourage violence, Darwinism and bloodlust, this treatment can destroy the Golden Child. Azula's mental health takes a nose-dive until the final battle, when her Scapegoat brother, defeats her with the help of a friend. The thought that Zuko, who she was taught was inferior to her from birth, should walk away while she is defeated is entirely too much and her mind completely breaks as she is reduced to an almost feral state, screaming, sobbing and writhing. Azula was explicitly taught that there was no difference between second place and a bug to be squashed under one's shoe, so to find herself behind her brother in anything at all broke her.
Yeah
This
I was thinking the same thing! The handling of Azula’s fall from grace and her complete mental breakdown thanks to her superiority complex, the dismissal from her father, her unresolved mommy issues, and her outrage over Zuko proving that he WASN’T inferior was so beautifully done. You can’t help but feel pity for this ruthless but damaged golden child who has tumbled so completely off of her pedestal, even as you’re gratified to see her defeated.
You forgot Azula from Avatar The Last Air Bender showing real symptoms of Golden Child Syndrome in the final episode when she has a mental breakdown after she the golden child loses the final battle to brother Zuko the scapegoat.
That's all too true.
The whole “Azula was born lucky, Zuko was lucky to be born” line that I’m surprised wasn’t brought up
Not to mention she likely went to prison along with her father
@@Rella-rellai No 14.
@@williampulfer-melville8536 Close, She got sent to a psychiatric prison. She even got put in a straight jacket.
I like how, in all three of the examples that you picked (If you go with the book description of Dudley) "the golden child" has blonde hair, just in case the audience needs a visual cue.
Azula from Avatar: The last Airbender, would also be seen as a golden child
Her father favors her over her brother and the pressure of being perfect slowly drives her insane
I have always said this, and I will post it here. If your parents had a favorite child, your parents didn't love ANY of their children. Not only that, but the favorite child was the most unlucky child because they would most likely become dependent on their parents, while the least favorite learned to fend for themselves at an earlier age.
7:10 Dudley’s growth as a character had a payoff in an earlier draft of Deathly Hallows. In the epilogue, Harry and Ginny bump into Dudley dropping his kids off at the station for school and asks them where to find platform 9 3/4.
Let’s not forget Isabella Madrigal, she was willing to marry someone she didn’t love for Abuela and her family for god sake
That's different though. Some cultures treat marriage as a family affair much like a corporate fusion. Isabella is simply performing her role in making the family unit function. She's just been dealt a bad hand by Abuela.
@@d4n737 That still doesn't mean Isabella isn't a golden child. She was Abuela's favorite and wanted her to be perfect every single way while treating Mirabel as a scapegoat.
@@tultsi93 ... I never said she is though?
But what you've described is literally the definition of a golden child
@@d4n737 touché
@@alexanderfoote6153This also hits harder in an early draft to the film where it's revealed Isabela was actually in love with a Boy who didn't meet the Expectations a perfect as he would have been short, overweight and geeky But He was scrapped from the film as the directors didn't like him for some reason
Thank you so much for not describing golden children as narcissists/egomaniacs! So many people think we're evil, selfish, and that we think we're the best. Most of us actually have really low self-esteem.
Harry was raised by his uncle and aunt after his parents died. Lily was rather a golden child because her parents were treating her differently ever since she got her Hogwarts letter. This neglect cause Petunia to hate her sister.
@@georgianagheorghe8848 Petunia then was the scapegoat.
This is probably why Petunia favours Dudley so much, because she doesn’t want Dudley to be the scapegoat like she was (even though he’s also far from being a golden child)
Peter and Olga having an emotional breakdown is proof of the pressure on their shoulders to succeed. Golden Child Syndrome, not even *once*.
I look at Prissy Polly and Olga, and I see the similarities. Mental, isn't it? 😅 I can see Henry and Helga becoming friends.
When you ever release a video you know it’s going to be a banger
Shouldn’t Anais be on there as well? I mean think about it, Nicole would ALWAYS blame Gumball and Darwin even when it’s not even their fault and she ALWAYS puts her sons down, and she puts an unnecessary amount of pressure on Anais who is only 4 years old just because she is smartest in the family and Nicole was being a hypocrite during “The Goons” she got mad at Richard for saying he favors Darwin when her golden child is clearly Anais and she even punishes Anais more harshly than her brothers.
I know this is a bit stretchy to say Anais is Nicole’s golden child because to me she somewhat views Gumball as an extension of herself, I mean he’s blue cat just like her but also, you guys saw “The Parents” Nicole had a very rough childhood because Daniel and Mary having very unreasonable expectations on her not to mention they nearly killed her by giving her the wrong blood type, you guys know what happened during “The Fridge” and “The Hero”.
Nicole was basically repeating the cycle of abuse during those episodes toward Gumball (and to a slight lesser extent Darwin and Anais due to what I said about the unnecessary amount of pressure). She forces Gumball to be a “winner” just like her even abandoned Gumball in a middle of a desert and she said she wasn’t disappointed in him when she IS disappointed in him, also during “The Hero” she told Gumball and Darwin she would not provide them the necessities anymore because they talked bad about Richard, I get Gumball was being unreasonably mean in during “The Hero” but why couldn’t she just ground Gumball and Darwin for refusing to apologize? That’s not so hard to understand. Also why was Richard at their school to begin with, he wasn’t supposed to be there.
I also get the creators of AWOG making Richard and Nicole flawed parents as reminder to the viewers that parents are not perfect. But as I said, there are limits and there is a difference between a mistake and a bad decision and repeating the cycle of abuse is a bad decision and a bad decision was made intentionally
Richard was a better parent to the kids playing with them and cheering them up when they were sad but nicole was an angel compared to henrys mum
What are you on about lol
Anais isn’t pressured to do anything and Gumball and Darwin are barely even disciplined by Nicole. If they are, it’s usually deserved.
Have you even watched TAWOG?
@@littlemoth4956 In “The Goons” Nicole told Anais she expected more from her and won’t let Anais hang out with Richard, Gumball and Darwin just because of their low IQ, and having her do puzzles with a ton of pieces. Nicole has way higher expectations on Anais than on Gumball and Darwin because like I said, Anais is the smarter person in the family and she most likely punished Anais offscreen for kissing a frog thinking it can turn into a prince
Also, during “The Hero”, does Nicole have the right to call out Gumball and Darwin for talking bad about Richard? Yes. Does she had the right to throw rocks at him and Darwin and commit child neglect by not providing her sons the necessities they needed in order to survive? No. Like I said, Gumball was uncharacteristically overly mean than usual in this episode for his refusal to apologize to Richard and talking down to him but why didn’t Nicole just grounded him and take away things he DOESN’T need in order to survive such as taking away video games or tv privileges. There is absolutely no good reason to commit child neglect.
Gumball may have stated that he and Darwin favor Nicole over Richard during “The Password” but guess what, Nicole doesn’t favor him nor Darwin, Anais is her favorite child, and as I said she blames her sons for EVERYTHING even when it’s not even their fault, she blamed her sons for her bad day at work during “The Worst” by screaming at them and during “The Allergy” she said that Anais has all the good genes.
And yes, Nicole WAS disappointed in him during “The Fridge” and she shows her disappointment and resentment towards Gumball and Darwin ALL the time
This makes me wonder if Nicole only just wanted girls and not sons
@@sissysovereign1294 No, Nicole just favors Anais because of her high IQ, and since Gumball and Darwin’s IQ’s are unfortunately the same as Richard’s, they’re her least favorites.
Also Nicole is projecting her own bad childhood onto Gumball because she sees him as herself during her own childhood when Mary and Daniel were putting WAY too much pressure on her by forcing her to be CEO, sign her up for so many activities, nearly killed her by giving her the wrong blood type and they even kicked Nicole out of the house when she was a TEENAGER, and it doesn’t help with the fact that Gumball is a blue cat just like his mom. Like when Anais does something bad she would get grounded for 6 months but when she “punishes” Gumball and Darwin she will resort to child abuse and neglect by telling them she will not provide them necessities anymore, not to mention she will always yell at Gumball and Darwin even over the littlest thing, but when’s the last time you saw her yell at Anais?
I used to read a book series where there was a group of girls who would have different things going on.
One of the characters was a single child. But her mom forced her to take dance, painting, piano lessons, horseback riding, ballet, etc.
The girl basically never said a word about how she felt about this. Her mother tried to get her into “high society”, by trying to make her friends with the richest girl in town, and in the books, it's frequently said that her mom dresses her up like a doll. In the horseback riding classes, on the first day of classes, she wore expensive riding clothes that you would see in the National Horse Show instead of around the stable.
The only thing the girl pushed herself (brutally hard) into was her grades. She had to have straight-A’s. She would go beyond what you could picture, including a paper due at the end of the year she would start at the beginning of the year by writing and researching it to make sure she not only got that A, but best her classmates.
She ended up with Anorexia. Because she got a B-plus in advanced math. She starved herself for two weeks until her friends realized what was happening and talked her into getting help. All so she could just get that bit of control over what she lost.
That always stuck with me, especially with her mom driving her into that state, and how she was so driven to impress her and please her to get that approval that she ended up like that.
what was the book called?
@@samantheyy It was a book series called “The Saddle Club”.
The girl's name was Lisa, and she was actually the one who started riding in the first book because of her mom. It's a good children's series, especially since it deals with issues that can get dark.
Ulga was actually a good sister, but was so much older than Helga that they didn't bond much and didn't realize that things were as bad as they were. Yes she was a "golden child", but look at what happens when she is alone with Helga. She is kind, loving, and the two actually bond. The real problem with that family is that the parents have their own issues from selfish achievement by association and alcoholism.
I was the middle child and youngest girl. It was hell. My dad was a narcissist and it was super pressuring to be perfect. I am awful at maths and my dad would scream at me. I had to be good at Art, Sports, English, Languages, But I'm awful at languages. I am good at the other things. I had my older brother who was the golden child boy and I was the golden child girl. Everyone else was a scapegoat. I hated my self, I thought it was my fault.
@@Comically_Funny_Baseball_Cap so you were the lost child?
I’m crying Peter In the thumbnail looks like me the morning after I said I could handle 17 pints 😂
I feel like henry and peter should be taken away by the CPS
they're british
@@thomasfoster7387well cps is in britain
@@ilovefalklandislands it is? I thought that was purely an American organisation
I'm sorry, but Dudley is NOT a golden child and don't you dare compare him to Peter. Perfect Peter has an entirely fabricated personality made to please his superiors; his parents and teachers. He's been conditioned to be innocent. Dudley is just a brat that has never been told no. Golden children are not the same thing as spoiled children. Peter works harder than anyone to be liked, while Dudley indulges in every whim and is the leader-type to two school bullies.... That's not a kid who'd expected to be perfect, that's just a kid who's SEEN as perfect no matter what
Um, yeah. Dudley IS a golden child. He was a bad kid, but a "Golden Child" usually means a child that can do no wrong "in the eyes of their parents." Dudley could have grown up to be a Nazi, and the Dursleys would have praised him for all he did. Meanwhile, Harry got in trouble with his aunt and uncle for even BREATHING!!!! Compared to Harry, Dudley was a golden child; even if he was a bratty bully.
@@tencents6I'm not so convinced. Consider the fourth book where he threw a massive hissy fit on being forced on a diet. In the subsequent book, in the opening, this would have been the perfect time to throw Harry under the bus, yet Dudley knew Harry saved his life.
@@poncho9587 Doesn't matter. Dudley was still the favorite. His parents put him on a diet because they care about him. If it was Harry, they wouldn't do a thing. Also, Dudley might have become nicer, but his parents still treated him better.
That's not what a golden child is, a golden child is the parents favourite, sometimes a child has to be perfect to maintain that position in Dudley's case he was the favourite because of genetics, he couldn't make himself the black sheep if he tried.
@@d4n737 Golden child means a child who is parents' favorite and can do nothing wrong in their eyes. Dudley is the Dursleys' favorite. Dudley IS a golden child. That's like saying Isabella from Encanto isn't a golden child, because she's mean to Mirabel.
I would like to see Horrid Henry snap and his bottled up emotions boil to the surface as a teenager. I would love to see Horrid Henry become a bratty rebellious teenager who talks back to his parents and teachers, skips school, breaks rules and laws, trespasses and even runs away from home. It would be nice to see Henry finally have enough of his parents abuse and run away from home and never come back and start living on the streets, and I am sure his parents wouldn’t even look for him cause they would be so focused on Peter they wouldn’t even care that Henry is gone
Peter has a phycopathic promblem right now. But his parents choose to ignore it. Not to mention peters people pleaser mentality will restrict him from ever being himself.
Peter will have a whole load of mental problems due to his parents.
Henry will let go of his parents and finally be free.
One thing parents don't realise is that treating a child like a Golden Child can be a form of abuse as well.
Another great video :) I think there’s a few additional things worth mentioning too. The whole concept of the “golden child” doesn’t just affect the one it’s targeted at, but also on their siblings, and it can cause lifelong damage. My sister and I don’t live near each other anymore, but we’re on good terms. That being said, she’s always been the golden child. Our mom put high expectations on my sister, as high expectations were put on my mom when she was younger too. The problem then though is that i’d say something like “Hey mom, look, I got a B in math!” when I struggled a lot with it, and she’d kinda gloss over it cuz my sister was getting A+ on all her subjects. I had a good relationship with my sister growing up, and with my mom too, but nowadays I struggle a ton with expectations because i’m constantly being compared to my sister. I’m currently unemployed (though i’m searching for work) while she’s just graduated law school, almost receiving valedictorian, and she also has multiple part time jobs.
I know i’m rambling a bit, but I felt it was relevant. Preferential treatment towards a child can have really bad effects on the other children too. I know in most cases, siblings can lose their connection over stuff like this
Alot of scapegoat kids cut contact with families when they leave the house at 18 then the families act all surprised and ask why the scapegoat kid isnt wanting to take care of the elderly parents
Also dudley and harry are cousins
The fact you managed to make an hour long video essay on the psyche of horrid Henry characters is concerning
Goddd this struck a nerve with me 😭 soon as my grades started slipping and i lost 'interest in my hobbies' (they werent my hobbies just activities i was told i needed to do) , was made to feel like the worst, i started suffering from bad anxiety, paranoia and depression and was told it was cause i was 'hanging out with the wrong people who were bad influences' ... not once was i asked 'are you okay?, do you feel too much pressure?' Nope was grounded and made to 'study more' as if that would help anything, it didnt
Sorry to hear this. How're you feeling, lately?
The one thing I like between Harry and Dudley is that Harry isn't afraid to throw it back at Dudley.
Book 1.
Vernon: "Get the post Dudley!"
Dudley: "Make Harry get it!"
Vernon: "Get the post Harry!"
Harry: "Make Dudley get it!"
Also Book 1.
Dudley: "They flush people's heads down the toilet first day at Stonewall. Want to come up stairs and practise?"
Harry: "No thanks, the poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it. It might be sick."
Harry then ran before Dudley could work out what he had said
Book 2:
Dudley: "I KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS!"
Harry said nothing. Dudley repeats himself.
"I KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS!"
Harry: "Well done. You've finally learned the days of the week."
Harry also dishes it back at his Aunt and Uncle. Book 5.
Petunia: "What are you doing under our window?"
Vernon: "Yes! Good point, Petunia. What were you doing under our window?"
Harry: "Listening to the news."
Vernon: "Listening to the news? AGAIN?"
Harry: "Well, it changes everyday, you see."
Vernon: "Don't take that tone with me boy! We know you're up to something."
Petunia: "We're not stupid, you know."
Harry: "Well, that's news to me."
A few pages later, Harry starts making fun of Dudley's new nickname "Big D" (being honest, who wouldn't laugh at that?) He also mocks him for the names Petunia calls him. Things like "Popkin" "Dinky Diddydums" "Ickle Diddykins" that sort of thing. Dudley tells him to "shut his face" and Harry says, "you don't tell her to shut her face." "Her" of course referring to Petunia.
It’s honestly heartbreaking. The golden child is put on a pedestal and feel like they need to always be the best at everything.
My brother was the golden child for my dad, the both of em weren’t half dopey melts
beg pardon? what's a half-dopey melt?
@@thomasfoster7387 a dopey melt is an insult. When I said ‘weren’t half’ that expresses the insult
In my family, I have 2 twin brothers named Jacob and Leo. One has autism, and the other has angelman syndrome. Here’s how it works in my family.
Me, Older Brother, Little Sisters: Lost
Leo and Jacob: Golden
Little Sisters (Chloe and Sierra): Scapegoat (They are sweet and kind but they blame people sometimes.)
Story of my life really... My sisters were always considered the favourite out of the 3 of us, me being the oldest n suffering with autism made me out to be tge problem child n they treated me badly for tge simplist mistakes i made growing up, wasn't invited to anyones birthday party or sleepovers because everyone thought i was strange.. meanwhile my sisters get all the attention and grew up to be successful.. these videos were an eye opener for me and Its unlocked certain memories of my childhood i didn't want to revisit.
dude this is so weird i just binged all of your horrid henry content
6:46 It was actually the Dementor’s attack on Dudley that caused the change in how he saw Harry & himself as a whole, finally seeing the horrid ugly person he’d become & it terrified him…but also caused the change within him.
Do you think Perfect Peter was getting more and more evil throughout the show it feels he was willing to be more extreme at first it was snitching on Henry to get him in trouble and then it slowly turned into getting him in even more trouble untruthfully and as much as he would get Henry in trouble before it would have a reason but later he would be more and more untruthful about it and provoking it
Peter was the original aishite aishite aishite girl
I’m treated as the golden child without the part about not being blamed. In fact, it’s the opposite, I get blamed for things that were never my fault.
Don't you hate it when parents place high expectations on their kids.
bro the thumbnail got me dying, you made peter look like a cocaine addict
What did Henry give lil bro 💀
@@CallsignHackshawpeter ain't switching this time😭
joe biden lookin ah😂
Let me clarify something to the older children/scapegoats. Being the youngest doesn't mean you can do whatever you want and get the best parenting, it means you're their last shot to get it right and you WILL get it right and be perfect. Being the golden child isn't a luxury, it's a responsibility. You have to always agree with them, always be what they expect, always be obedient, never argue with them, never be yourself if it goes against what they want/expect, you get treated like your dumb for trying to take care of yourself, you get hate and mocked by your siblings for something you don't even want or enjoy, and you always, ALWAYS have to keep up the act, because the SECOND you don't, they take back all their love until you "earn it back", and there's so much more I've blocked out. Get over yourselves, being the youngest or the golden child isn't what you crack it up to be and we deal with enough without getting hate form you for something we never asked for.
Well said
You deserve at least 200k susbcribers. Keep the great content going brother!
I appreciate that!
Honestly I think the golden child's sibling is the real victim.I mean they get neglected and are made to feel worthless, while the golden child is loved by everyone.
Both are.
Peter is also a victim too, his parents (especially his mom) expects more of him and has high expectations of himself.
@@LegitMay yes in this case but at least he doesn't get punished severly for no reason, and his parents trust him when he blames henry
@@IsabellaM-tk7fx Both Peter and Henry have it both hard either way. Henry suffers from favouritism and neglect and Peter suffers from trying to be perfect for his parents and would panic if he didn’t succeed in doing something that would make his parents proud of him.
0:23 peter jumpscare
When Peter was sick and said, "I feel much better mom. I want to go to school. It's science today," and then immediately covered his mouth and made a mad dash for the bathroom. Or when he was crying after field day, and told Henry, "I can't tell mom and dad I didn't win anything!"
Honestly I can relate to being the scapegoat
Fun fact. Lilly was a golden child over Petunia. Then Petunia grew up and repeated the cycle with Dudley and Harry.
And dudley thankfully seems to have at least attempted to break the cycle.
The thumbnail looks like if perfect peter started smoking lol
When me and my two cousins were with my dad's mom savanna the oldest one was the favorite and stormy the middle one was the scrap goat and me the youngest was the lost child to her.
I grew up with these books and this show and I find it so odd but awesome that now people are talking about it so much.
I identified so much with show Henry, not because of how my mum treated me but how the entirety of my ‘dads’ side of the family did. Expected to be the golden child but treated like a monster. You’d think the way they talked about me that I was committing crimes. But no. While my cousins were getting In trouble with police, I was… struggling with my crippling disabilities. Which everyone knows is so much worse than stealing, vandalism, domestic violence and under age alcoholism /sarcasm
One of my friends was in the same spot but guess what The Golden child turned out to be a drug addict won't deal with his parents for taking care of him and then the one that they thought were the eye Care did his own business and became a huge financier with a beautiful supermodel wife and two kids
I’m like in the middle, I’m expected good grades and stuff, but I also do stuff that gets my dad to yell at me every day
THANK YOU SO MUCH for making this ❤❤❤
Mine was less about academics and more about expectations around behaviour (I automatically put pressure on myself with that one as I associated it with good behaviour anyway). I wasnt a well behaved young child and once I got to school it was expected that I would be perfectly behaved or else. My sister was always a really well behaved young child so she was the "golden child" in meeting that expectation, but wasn't seen as academic, so whenever she did well at school she was always celebrated whereas it was just expected of me. Then when she hit teen years she became a nightmare with behaviour and was always at odds with me because she saw me as "the boffin", but I saw her as the one who got away with things I'd have gotten kicked out for.
Then there was our younger brother who was the quiet one more just in the background.
that cat scratches and bites you and rips your clothes at the end
You know its bad when the golden child even breathes incorrectly
I'm so happy you exist all just to talk about this show.
The show was part of somewhat some of my childhood so thanks.
The best part of the episode where Helga changes Olga grade is when she decides to confess the first thing she does is walk in, turn on the lights and turn off the stereo, and at that moment you realize that the whole time you have been hearing Mozart's Lacrimosa has been diegetic.🤣
4:29 Ngl the crying was brutal and the punishment DAMN THATS KINDA HELL NEVER TALK TO YOU OH MY GOD- [ ngl im kinda being dramatic]
Every Parents Needs To Treat Their Kids Equally NOT Favoritism, Cause Their Going To Be A Serious Consequences For Their Own Action
Also on another note i realised my brother was the scapegoat child as an adult, it made me feel so angry for him and so sorry for him as even with the 7 year age gap, he was a kid (17, but still a kid!) He was grieving and acting out and rather than helping him, ya know the adults in his life! They made him out to be the one and only problem (no one is perfect in my family including me) which i found to be unfair
Remember
If parents play "who is the best kid?"
Even the sibling who wins, is a looser
I'M CRYING WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THUMBNAIL. DAMN PETER WENT THROUGH A LOT 😭🙏
Why do the uk accent sounds like its from the victorianus era
This guy should be a psychologist.
I remember when I was younger my mom used to hate me alot because i was autistic (idk if this matters much but she thought i was a burden bc i was special needs)anyway I remember when my brother (I’m 17 he’s 30 something years old and he told me that my mom favoured him later on in his adult life than his younger life much like me tho as a teenager girl who is still hated alot so i was literally a scapegoat for my mother’s unsolved problems in *HER* life and childhood
One thing I disagree though is the one that is made to look after the parents. Sometimes the golden child is deemed to be doing too important of things and the scapegoat needs to “do at least this much for them” as of having a permanent houseguest is easy. This facet of elder care mostly is a calculation on how little do they care for the scapegoat and how much responsibility instead of expectation they put on the golden child. Though of course that if the golden child is actually requested first and refuses they are not blamed for it.
i always thought peters hair looked like scrambled eggs
Henry's parents remind me of watered down versiona of The High Evolutionary in Guardians of the Galaxy 3, they seek perfection in the things they created but fail to realise that no-one is perfect despite their high expectations
I like henry playing the cello it was total enjoyment
I feel like most only children get a strange mix of both. Like have standards and pressure because you’re the only one regardless of how much is put on u. Since you’re the only one seems like you should be perfect but if something goes wrong regardless its your fault
3:38 WELL, HENRY, YOU SHOULD HAVE GOT OUT OF THE WAY WHEN PETER WAS WATERING THE FLOWERS!!!!!!!
9:46 WHAT'S GOING ON?!!!!!!!
Henry wasn’t even near the flowers when he first got sprayed. And wouldn’t have got as wet as he did if it was accidental lol
Okay so with Dudley and Harry, Harry is the cousin so their bio-kid is supposed to get most of the attention. I mean, admittedly they made some dick moves toward Harry but since they aren’t actually siblings Dudley isn’t really a golden child.
I'm LITERALLY asian yet my parents NEVER pressure me to get straight A's( they only expect me to do my best) andthey treat my twin and I equally.
How about an analysis on Moody Margaret?
Catra and Adora from Netflix She-Ra is a good example of Golden Child Syndrome too
Guys wake up SnipeSnap Uploaded a banger