The Rise of Skywalker Book is WORSE Than the Movie!

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  • Опубликовано: 25 дек 2024

Комментарии • 2,5 тыс.

  • @vito
    @vito  3 года назад +262

    Comment if you remembered to subscribe!

  • @gonx9906
    @gonx9906 4 года назад +1122

    you need the dagger to find the missing page about palpatine in the book.

    • @larzguy3714
      @larzguy3714 4 года назад +69

      Wish we'd gotten George Lucas' sequels. That would've explored so much intresting and expanded so much more.

    • @alejandrovillalba3143
      @alejandrovillalba3143 4 года назад +8

      @Alexander Gerdt It would allow Disney to get closer to recover their 4 billion dollars investment. They aren't anywhere near to do it, by the way

    • @vshark7869
      @vshark7869 4 года назад +2

      Lars Olavsgaard most of lucas concept was used for the force awakens, he had Luke hide in an island. And his concepts for people swimming around the Death Star ruins was used in episode 9

    • @nasher931
      @nasher931 4 года назад +33

      No, first you need someone who can read what the dagger says, then you need someone else who can translate for them, then you have stand in a specific spot so the dagger can lead you to the thing that then tells you where the palpatine page is. But when you find it, JJ Abrams destroys it making the whole process pointless. So you have to fight JJ to the death, then use the GPS in his car to take you back to where he found the page. And maybe one of your friends dies along the way but not really.

    • @skost8825
      @skost8825 4 года назад +5

      A Sith Pagefinder *gasp*

  • @emancoy
    @emancoy 4 года назад +734

    The stupid of the Disney trilogy is jarring. Imagine leaving a fully functional ship out in the open desert for decades, and not a single Jawa looted it, or anyone to just take it.

    • @Sketch_Sesh
      @Sketch_Sesh 4 года назад +64

      And wonder Rey and super token Finn just magically know how to expertly pilot it

    • @greganderson6371
      @greganderson6371 4 года назад +99

      Mando left his ship in the desert for two days and the Jawas took so much ship that they had more ship than there was to begin with.

    • @reviewthenerds7185
      @reviewthenerds7185 4 года назад +36

      not to mention the door was open and the lights were on inside 🤦🏼‍♂️ #derp ...what a miserable experience i has been watching Disney ruin Star Wars. The Mandolrian is ok, but EVERYTHING else is a #DumpsterFire

    • @sheep83
      @sheep83 4 года назад +33

      That was when I started treating it as a comedy just to get through it. That whole section seemed butchered to me, from when they arrive on the planet (can't remember the name, don't care) to Chewbacca's fake death where they give you a whole 5 minutes to absorb it before saying "haha, fooled you", except they didn't because he was in the fucking trailer with Lando in the Falcon.
      That whole worm section stank of reshoot. Probably to shoehorn in the force healing for later.

    • @reviewthenerds7185
      @reviewthenerds7185 4 года назад +9

      @@sheep83 i think he was refering to The Farce Awakenings 🤣😂😅 butt either way they all suck and u are still correct BAAHAHAHA Jar Jar Abrahams be like "nah it'll be fine" [The Critical Drinker reference]... "eff off film!"

  • @babygiraffe3052
    @babygiraffe3052 4 года назад +2857

    Rey: I'm Rey.
    Random lady: Rey who?
    Rey: Rayd Shadow Legends!

  • @intelkore
    @intelkore 4 года назад +330

    I own another "official guide" from 2017, and it clearly states that Vader threw his master to a "fiery death".
    These writers were extremely lazy or clueless, jeez.

    • @juliendacoolien3454
      @juliendacoolien3454 2 года назад +11

      I guess te-e-e-echnically...? He did explode.

    • @AshanBhatoa
      @AshanBhatoa 2 года назад +1

      Which guide mate?
      Because there is Imperial propaganda and the actual reality/truth. It seems you bought the propaganda.

    • @HufflepuffDaddy
      @HufflepuffDaddy 2 года назад +19

      @@AshanBhatoa "Imperial propaganda"? Can you explain further? Where is the line drawn between Official Guides and Imperial Propaganda?

    • @8-gamingnight288
      @8-gamingnight288 2 года назад

      This is space Hitler you know the guy who fell to his death was blown up and burned to death oh and then blown up by the death Star so there is no real way he survived unless it's Disney bullshit writing

  • @jakep9040
    @jakep9040 4 года назад +237

    Everyone: why does Maz have Anakins lightsaber
    The book: she has candy in her pocket

    • @haraldschuster3067
      @haraldschuster3067 3 года назад +5

      Lightsabers are - probably - like the one ring. With a mind of their own who can influence their surroundings so they are found and returned to their master. They just don't make people call them "precious".

    • @chazzitz-wh4ly
      @chazzitz-wh4ly Год назад +1

      That quip about the candy seems almost like the kind of thing you do to a hyper kid or a dog to get them to stop pestering about something you don’t know about.

  • @jamiemadrox8558
    @jamiemadrox8558 4 года назад +903

    As soon as you said Pablo Hidalgo wrote it, it all made sense to me that this book is ridiculous. The guy is a known defender of this garbage trilogy. Not to mention he is a bad writer.

    • @jamiebraswell5520
      @jamiebraswell5520 4 года назад +100

      Yes, Pablo Hidalgo already proved himself to be a jackass, so point and laugh at this fool's lousy writing.

    • @justajawausingwifi4642
      @justajawausingwifi4642 4 года назад +41

      @@jamiebraswell5520 you could tell Hidalgo was an ass from the behind the scenes segments on the Rebels DVD releases

    • @Deuteromis
      @Deuteromis 4 года назад +92

      He's the fucktard who said the reason why Disney scrapped the EU was because it would be too hard to adapt the stories to film.

    • @alfonsopayan09
      @alfonsopayan09 4 года назад +9

      JamieMadrox85 sad cous I was passing a lot of stuff and having a tunnel vision of buying it just of curiosity to see how bad it is but if it’s written already added by a shit writer than naaa im good

    • @popo0129
      @popo0129 4 года назад +16

      @@Deuteromis That is the stupidest thing I ever heard lmao. They can just make their own new trilogy like maybe 1000 years after the EU content and go on there. Wasn't it a thing where they said they also had no source material to use for movies?

  • @bloodrunsclear
    @bloodrunsclear 4 года назад +726

    Original Star Wars: Lore is like icing on the cake
    New Star Wars: 'Lore' is damage control for bad writing

    • @malcolmjenkins3585
      @malcolmjenkins3585 3 года назад +4

      Fax

    • @sergeantsharkseant
      @sergeantsharkseant 3 года назад +2

      *signature Blick of Superiority*

    • @Observer29830
      @Observer29830 3 года назад +4

      I wouldn't call it that way. The "Lore" as in the expanded universe and so forth have always been a way to clean up Lucas' story-telling messes. It only was not quite as bad before.

    • @sorte7171
      @sorte7171 3 года назад +2

      The best content for all of the sequels is resistance, Kazuda xiono has more story and character development than Rey and “her lightsaber” in one crash landing than she does over 3 movies

    • @TheJoeschmoe777
      @TheJoeschmoe777 3 года назад +15

      @@Observer29830 Nah, the EU was definitely the icing on the cake pre Disney. We didn't need stuff like The Thrawn Trilogy or the story of Darth Bane, but they were great additions to an already great story. This new stuff is just crap on top of crap.

  • @hmvd22
    @hmvd22 4 года назад +712

    Finn never told Rey what he wanted to tell her for operational security reasons.

    • @harrisoncora4259
      @harrisoncora4259 4 года назад +43

      Makes as much sense as everything else in the Sequel Trilogy.

    • @rp-lopez
      @rp-lopez 4 года назад +2

      😂😂😂

    • @nybergsgarage
      @nybergsgarage 3 года назад +4

      Well at least he took opsec then.

    • @bengunderson712
      @bengunderson712 3 года назад +1

      @@nybergsgarage Too bad he failed his cybersecurity challenge in TLJ and got the resistance shuttles blown up though

    • @nybergsgarage
      @nybergsgarage 3 года назад +3

      @@bengunderson712 well, nobodies perfect. ESPECIALLY anyone from the star wars sequels.

  • @geologick
    @geologick 4 года назад +206

    Poe: can repeatedly "lightspeed skip" directly into an area full of obstacles and not destroy his ship
    Also Poe: can't figure out how to fly a ship directly into another ship

    • @BungieStudios
      @BungieStudios 3 года назад +19

      Remember when large gravity wells dropped out out of hyperspace as a precaution? Remember when Hyperspace was its own dimension so you wouldn't be shredded by space debris?

    • @juliendacoolien3454
      @juliendacoolien3454 2 года назад +8

      @@BungieStudios To be fair, if you're referring to the "Holdo Maneuver", Star Wars ships accelerate in normal space in order to punch themselves into the hyperspace dimension. That being said however, makes the "Lightspeed skipping" (which I think you may have actually been referring to) more nonsensical, because Poe would've just repeatedly bashed through all the obstacles on those planets way before getting into hyperspace. Like come on, it's not teleportation.

    • @BungieStudios
      @BungieStudios 2 года назад +4

      @@juliendacoolien3454 They do accelerate but not as fast as people might think. It's mostly optical illusion as they enter the Hyperspace dimension. Disney also seems to ignore that lightspeed isn't actually lightspeed. Else they'd be shredded by debris and dust. Lightspeed skipping also shouldn't work because they're inside a gravity well. It would trigger safety systems.
      A better explanation for the Holdo Maneuver, if they were smart, is something simple like:
      The tracker exists in a state of both real space and hyperspace. This is how it is able to track ships. When Holdo jumps, she collided with it, tearing apart her ship, dropping it out of Hyperspace, and as a consequence the debris of her ship shredded the First Order fleet.
      But, I don't need to write the story Disney-Lucasfilm. Their writers are paid bokubucks for the multimillion dollar films. I'm not.

    • @michaelp4387
      @michaelp4387 2 года назад +7

      no no no, it's actually a frame-perfect glitch that can only be done by the greatest speedrunner of the galaxy -- Holdo

  • @TrueUnderDawgGaming
    @TrueUnderDawgGaming 3 года назад +94

    This video ages like wine. It is mind-boggling how desperate and stupid this final film was.
    Palpatine is back! It makes no sense how, but he's back! Love it, you fucks!
    Literally hundreds of Star Destroyers! Huh, you think one is intimidating? Fuck you, here's more! Yeah you fucking love it!
    Hyper-jumps are rare? Fuck you, every tiny ship can do it even the damn tie-fighters!
    This movie is colorful and flashy you will love it like the dribbling fans you are!

    • @ManoredRed
      @ManoredRed 2 года назад +4

      I recall Obiwan does perform a hyperspace jump with a fighter-sized craft in the prequel trilogy, although with the assistance of a ring-shaped equipment that attaches to the outside of the craft.

    • @totallyreyalfactsfsfs
      @totallyreyalfactsfsfs Год назад +1

      When I played the new LEGO Star Wars game, I hadn't watched any Star Wars movies yet. You can imagine my surprise when I found out The Rise of Skywalker's opening crawl in that game was the actual opening crawl for the movie. I genuinely thought it was just a joke that the LEGO guys put in their game. That's how bad the movie is.

  • @tiredoffools8929
    @tiredoffools8929 4 года назад +1070

    DISNEY: "The Holdo Maneuver" is one in a million.
    ME: Couldn't this be done on auto pilot or by a droid with precise calculations?

    • @IgnisRex64
      @IgnisRex64 4 года назад +156

      Bingo. Droids are said in other Star Wars media, including Disney, that droids are more precise than any human could be. Just program the data into a bunch of droids, fly em into shit. If it's "risky" still, maybe it'll get destroyed by the target, just snd a bunch in X wings. Some will make it through, and X wings are cheap.

    • @kimrasmussen7188
      @kimrasmussen7188 4 года назад +66

      only if you program them to do it. and, according to this book, it is ILLEGAL to do so.
      you dont want the space cops to come and give you a hard time, do you?

    • @MachineMan-mj4gj
      @MachineMan-mj4gj 4 года назад +151

      @@kimrasmussen7188 God forbid la resistance break laws while fighting the greatest evil the galaxy has ever known since the old empire.

    • @Last_Resort991
      @Last_Resort991 4 года назад +70

      Yep, better don't do that while the new order commits genocide by destroying planets left and right. Totally legal I'm sure.

    • @abudgie6909
      @abudgie6909 4 года назад +38

      kim rasmussen do you think violent revolutionaries give a shit about the laws that a totalitarian empire made? Lmao

  • @LightStreak567
    @LightStreak567 4 года назад +446

    I also want to remind everyone that Snoke was NEVER meant to be a clone of anyone! Not even Palpatine, he had his own identity! The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi Visual Dictionaries explicitly says that Snoke witnessed the Clone Wars and rise of the Galactic Empire from the Unknown Regions of the Star Wars galaxy back when he led a group of aliens called The Attendants, who were NOT allied with Palpatine and the Empire!

    • @BungieStudios
      @BungieStudios 3 года назад +69

      -Smoke- Snoke is such a stupid name. Your post reminded me. The Knights of Ren were recruited by Snoke to become the Praetorian Guards. Disney Lucasfilm retconned that too. A broken clock is more consistent than the new canon continuity of Star Wars.

    • @heydavedawson
      @heydavedawson 2 года назад +50

      The more I learn about Disney Star Wars the more ridiculous it gets.

    • @johnchief270
      @johnchief270 2 года назад

      @@heydavedawson Thats why I always die a little bit whenever I see dumb dumbs defend the sequel franchise

    • @Devilfish6666
      @Devilfish6666 2 года назад

      Why does that not suprise me now? Ty for the info, Disney is fucking pathetic

    • @trainzactivist7245
      @trainzactivist7245 2 года назад +6

      The price of "subverting" our expectations

  • @ServantBerserkerZero
    @ServantBerserkerZero 4 года назад +195

    20:15 bruh, just because I platinum-ed the entire Ace Combat series, doesn't mean I can fly a fighter plane lmao.

    • @michaelcowling9928
      @michaelcowling9928 4 года назад +10

      I fucking love Ace Combat...except that crap game they put out back in 2011 which was hot garbage. PS...If you have a PS VR the last game had 3 bonus missions in VR flying as Garuda 1 under Sky Eye. Even if they are short missions that shit is epic. I caught myself looking out the side of the canopy while doing a barrel roll after a bombing run to watch my impacts...so fucking sweet

    • @emberfist8347
      @emberfist8347 4 года назад +5

      Well this is a military type flight simulator not a video game. Still it makes not sense as it should only Imperial vehicles like the TIE Fighter and its variants, and the Lambda-class Shuttle.

    • @Nathan_Lennox
      @Nathan_Lennox 4 года назад

      @@michaelcowling9928 "Garuda 1 under SkyEye"
      This sentence is a sin

    • @michaelcowling9928
      @michaelcowling9928 4 года назад

      @@Nathan_Lennox which part?

  • @Toon_Lucario
    @Toon_Lucario 4 года назад +153

    Rey:I’m Rey
    Old lady:Rey Who?
    Rey: Rey Skywalker
    Dwight: Identity theft is not a joke Rey! Millions of families suffer every year!

    • @defearl
      @defearl 3 года назад +13

      It makes absolutely no fucking sense. It would be kinda feel-good if she said "I'm Rey Organa" (or Rey Solo), since she actually spent over a year with Leia, so it makes sense that she grew a tremendous amount of attachment to Leia as a mother figure. She spent a grand total of 3 days with Luke, and they never even had a loving relationship, so why would she even feel compelled to choose Skywalker? Awful, awful writing by JJ.

    • @foxyplayz1399
      @foxyplayz1399 3 года назад +1

      Smee Skywalker and Anakin Skywalker and palpatine being Anakin's father in legends: who greeted you to the family? Leia are you dating Luke?

    • @thatHARVguy
      @thatHARVguy 2 года назад

      Keep the Skywalker name out your f** mouth!

    • @FMK03
      @FMK03 2 года назад

      @@foxyplayz1399 Darth Plagueis is the one who caused Anakin's birth in the EU.

  • @harrisonpilon
    @harrisonpilon 3 года назад +94

    the fans: why was the sequel trilogy so bad?
    maz canata: “a good question…for another time.”

    • @james8518
      @james8518 Год назад

      And to also say... But, I do have candy in my pouch

    • @jameskardys3452
      @jameskardys3452 Год назад

      Good question… for another trilogy.

  • @michaelpellegrini4756
    @michaelpellegrini4756 4 года назад +379

    So based on their explanation, if Holdo didn’t time it properly she hyperspaces past them and escapes. Since she was such an incompetent leader, I’m going to pretend she tries to escape and effed that up too blowing herself up along with all the first order ships.

    • @sigma5514
      @sigma5514 4 года назад +46

      That makes way too much sense for them to ever think of that

    • @hmvd22
      @hmvd22 4 года назад +24

      Well... she was the “Jar Jar” of this trilogy after all

    • @jamainegardner4193
      @jamainegardner4193 4 года назад +8

      Execute Like 66

    • @emberfist8347
      @emberfist8347 4 года назад +32

      @@hmvd22 Nah Jar Jar had a character arc.

    • @thescreenslaver8520
      @thescreenslaver8520 4 года назад +2

      Well considering there are a number of different ways the Holdo maneuver can fail yes you have to time it correctly. Imagine you’re shooting a gun at something from long range that can shoot you back. To get a good shot you have to aim the gun at your target while timing the right moment to pull the trigger. In this case Holdo had to time jumping into light speed before the Supremacy or any of the other Star Destroyers could take their shot. Plus you the chance of missing hence the timing. This is why they say the Holdo Maneuver is a one in a million chance (much like when Luke destroyed the Death Star) because there are many variables that could mess up the maneuver.

  • @patteri90
    @patteri90 4 года назад +1533

    Don't feel sorry for Pablo Hidalgo. He's the same guy who told Rian Johnson that the Holdo maneuver is lore friendly in the first place

    • @neilcuckmann1704
      @neilcuckmann1704 4 года назад +19

      YeOldePatu lol

    • @emancoy
      @emancoy 4 года назад +20

      Yeah, such disconnect

    • @Maverick180c
      @Maverick180c 4 года назад +12

      Really? Source?

    • @Maverick180c
      @Maverick180c 4 года назад +33

      @@patteri90 Thank you! Much appreciated!

    • @mayhemivory5730
      @mayhemivory5730 4 года назад +60

      hyperspace collisions are lore friendly that’s not the problem. han talks about it in ep4 and it happens in tcw. that’s what you need hyperspace route for. but the fallout of such an event would be immense. like a shotgun fired in direction of a crowd, you never know what you will hit.

  • @auraguard0212
    @auraguard0212 4 года назад +634

    "How did you survive the Death Star, Palps?"
    "I can't tell you."
    "Aww, why?"
    "...Operational security reasons."

    • @theguybehindyou4762
      @theguybehindyou4762 4 года назад +19

      The sequels are getting meme’d for all the wrong reasons.

    • @gustavoelizondo7537
      @gustavoelizondo7537 4 года назад +9

      "Palps", A Literal lol right there

    • @raysummer1628
      @raysummer1628 4 года назад +1

      Actually in the revenge of the sith it is explained that he learned the power to come back to life from his master.

    • @AuxenceF
      @AuxenceF 4 года назад +3

      a good story for another time

    • @BlazeKnight_95
      @BlazeKnight_95 4 года назад +5

      @@derryflanagan170 indeed he did, Palpatine knew that no Jedi knew nothing about Force Healing, which is what Anakin was likely looking for, hence why he kept deceiving him over and over

  • @sandreid87
    @sandreid87 4 года назад +177

    If "The Haldo Maneuver" really was a "One in a million"-shot, then imagine this scenario: Holdo flies towards the Supremacy, and activates the hyperspace-drive. And In 999.999 out of 1.000.000 scenarios, she just flies right past it, ends up no one knows where, but only in that ONE scenario, she destroys it. It's almost as if.... She was just trying to ESCAPE, if the outcome of her action in literally 99.9999% of the time, was going to result in her just escaping, then why would she bet on that last 0.00001% chance? It makes no sense! As far as Im concerned, there was nothing noble about her action - She was just being a coward, trying to escape lol.

    • @Full_Throttle_Axolotl
      @Full_Throttle_Axolotl 2 года назад +46

      Doesn't she straight up say "You left the fate of the Resistance up to bad odds?" to Poe as a criticism of his character?
      So she's either a coward and a traitor, or an idiot and a hypocrite.

    • @papaAJ88
      @papaAJ88 2 года назад +24

      Do we need to pick just one? I think all four of those qualities describe her well!

    • @Everythingis22
      @Everythingis22 2 года назад +23

      Her smugness is even more ridiculous when her “plan” was literally a million to one shot. Maybe that’s why she didn’t tell anyone. So dumb

    • @robirvine6970
      @robirvine6970 Год назад +1

      Yes. I saw the video that came up with this idea as well. Don't pretend you thought of it. Also, it doesn't work because the fuel runs out after one jump and she would be caught.

    • @sandreid87
      @sandreid87 Год назад +16

      @@robirvine6970 Ideas aren't always unique, you know - It IS possible for two different people to think of the same thing. Especially if it's a pretty obvious one - Like it this case.

  • @luispagan9170
    @luispagan9170 4 года назад +58

    Finn *Kills Hitler*
    Book: " He's not a hero he only did it because"

    • @MrAwesome457
      @MrAwesome457 Месяц назад

      I mean, the guy who killed Hitler WAS Hitler…

  • @Bonko78
    @Bonko78 4 года назад +581

    *Hyperspace travel according to George:*
    - Hyperspace travel can take days or even longer. Mapping the journey requires careful calculation due to the high risk of failure.
    *Hyperspace travel according to JJ:*
    - It is instantaneous, like teleporting. Just pull the lever and go by the seat of your pants.
    *Hyperspace travel according to Rian:*
    - It just means going really fast though normal space and you can crash into things if you just aim at them!
    *The force according to George:*
    - A mystic power surrounding all living things. A few special individuals may learn how to eventually understand it, communicate with it and control it, given decades of dedicated training. Whether one adheres to the light side or the dark side is determined by the moral value of their actions. The prophecy of "the one who will bring balance to the force" refers to a champion of the the light side defeating the dark side.
    *The force according to JJ:*
    - It grants Marvel (TM) superpowers to some people. Once such a person opens up to the force, they will have those powers instantly granted to them, no training required.
    *The force according to Rian:*
    - Agrees with most of what JJ said, but also assumes that the force balances itself automatically. Personal choice, prophecy and continuity be damned.

    • @larzguy3714
      @larzguy3714 4 года назад +36

      Midichlorians '-'

    •  4 года назад +4

      “Science” fiction

    • @theflashgordon193
      @theflashgordon193 4 года назад +11

      lmao spot on

    • @1996koke
      @1996koke 4 года назад +96

      Lightsaber battles with George: Epic duels where the adversaries use all of their abilities to win
      Lightsaber battles with JJ: It looks like 2 kids playing with sticks
      Lightsaber battles with Rian: God forbid two lightsabers even touch each other.

    • @TankHunter678
      @TankHunter678 4 года назад +66

      @@larzguy3714 At least when you look at it, midichlorian counts basically mean jack shit other then "this guy has a lot of force potential". Anakin had super high counts... never uses anything more powerful then force push/pull/choke, still gets his ass kicked by people with less counts but better training, then got his counts wasted by virtue of being turned more machine then man by his own actions and stupidity.

  • @handsolo1076
    @handsolo1076 4 года назад +301

    Pablo Hidildo is just Kathleen Kennedy's lackey. He's just a spinner of Disney SW propaganda.

    • @noted_insolence1894
      @noted_insolence1894 4 года назад +6

      I meannnnn he has been doing this since LONG before Disney....He is just trying as a last-ditch effort to make it all fit together. But again, he knows more about star wars and the Expanded Universe than anybody alive. But he doesn't make the content just keeps tabs on it

  • @FreeOpenTruth
    @FreeOpenTruth 4 года назад +243

    Rey's response to Finn about her flying ability was literally, "I don't know. I've flown some ships, but...."
    So she says she HAS flown ships before. Why then doesn't the book tell us what ships???
    Disney KILLED Star Wars for sure! How sad.....

    • @Susanoo7108
      @Susanoo7108 4 года назад +37

      I remember that. With Luke and Anakin the film at least has dialogue about the type of ships they've flown and how they're similar to other new ships that they're flying in the film.
      There's little set up to properly back up the ability of Rei's flying.

    • @Stratelier
      @Stratelier 4 года назад +25

      The similarities between Luke's T-16 and the X-Wing was actually never mentioned in the film -- nonetheless, Luke's ability to fly was established repeatedly (and by more than Luke himself) LONG before the plot required him to use it.
      Rey's ability to fly anything, while certainly not outside the realm of possibility, was established only on a "just in time" basis. So it is not the same.

    • @jchuck1737
      @jchuck1737 4 года назад +12

      Disney does not realize how fans dissect every minor detail in the movie. There are so many plot holes its a shame.

    • @KneelB4Bacon
      @KneelB4Bacon 4 года назад +6

      Agreed. Also, Rey has no reason to learn how to fly ships. Her entire motivation on Jacu was waiting around for her parents to return. She's also a junk scavenger. When would she ever have the opportunity to fly a ship? It's all she can do to scavenge enough parts to buy FOOD. And yet when she encounters the Millennium Falcon, she flies it with precision and balls. And she knows how to fix it better than the ships original owner. These aren't nitpicks. The Millennium Falcon is involved in several chases and battles during this trilogy that will mean the end of the Rebellion if they fail. (Oh yeah. The first time Rey uses the gunnery chair in the Millennium Falcon, she scores a TRIPLE KILL.)

    • @SteveCrafts2k
      @SteveCrafts2k 4 года назад +5

      Remember guys, if you have to use external media in order to understand any piece of lore, that's bad storytelling.

  • @k-hut9344
    @k-hut9344 4 года назад +74

    Wait what? How the hell is the lightsaber supposed to just get picked up by someone after falling down in cloud city? Cloud city literally floats above a GAS PLANET.

  • @SamnissArandeen
    @SamnissArandeen 4 года назад +85

    Rey's piloting skills are even worse. They're literally "You commute to and from work on a moped? That trained you to get in Max Verstappen's car and beat his lap times by 30 seconds around every track on the calendar!"

    • @grantpalmer8818
      @grantpalmer8818 2 года назад +2

      Kind of like Vert Wheeler getting a perfect score on his drivers test and being invited to race with the best drivers in the world (although it was supposed to be his dad)

    • @dreemurrprince
      @dreemurrprince 10 месяцев назад

      Some people will try to compare it to luke, who went from flying a T-16 Skyhopper to flying an X Wing
      See, there’s a difference between a standard beatup landspeeder and a ship that is used to train X-Wing Pilots in the story (T16s were used for that)
      it just falls apart under any scrutiny

  • @soupycolumbo6977
    @soupycolumbo6977 4 года назад +414

    Does the space-time bending quiffufle physics also explain how the giant laser traveled faster than light yet the people on the target planet could still see it coming?

    • @justiron2999
      @justiron2999 4 года назад +123

      It performed the Holdo maneuver that's how.

    • @StarWarsomania
      @StarWarsomania 4 года назад +17

      Just Iron Good one, good one! Thanks, I needed that laugh.

    • @nurinlee5974
      @nurinlee5974 4 года назад +17

      Kingdom Hearts magic. Star wars is Disney now after all.

    • @alexlee4154
      @alexlee4154 4 года назад +15

      @@nurinlee5974
      Kingdom hearts makes way more sense than this bullshit

    • @matiasluukkanen7718
      @matiasluukkanen7718 4 года назад +5

      @@alexlee4154 Never say that.
      Star Wars under Disney has not yet stooped that low. Yet.
      Though now star wars already has time travel...

  • @clearlywrong6520
    @clearlywrong6520 4 года назад +369

    2015: The Forced Narrative
    2016: Reach: a Star Wars Story
    2017: The Last Straw
    2018: Soiled: a Star Wars Flop
    2019: The Rise of Panicking Investors

    • @SCRaetz
      @SCRaetz 4 года назад +40

      Yeah but Reach was pretty good. As Halo and as Star Wars. 😏

    • @PoeticProse7
      @PoeticProse7 4 года назад +12

      As much as I truly hate the sequels, I hate more that after outright telling script doctor Carrie Fisher they didn't want her working in that capacity on any of the movies they now want to strike them from cannon. You killed Princess Leia making these movies, they're the last performances of her career. You owe it to her legacy to own your own steaming pile of shit.

    • @user-fn5xg7qt7u
      @user-fn5xg7qt7u 3 года назад

      LOL “Reach a Star Wars Story”

    • @Soundwave-gay
      @Soundwave-gay 3 года назад +1

      Reach nice OHHHHHUHOOOHHHHOHHHH OHHHHH
      Master chief you mind telling me what your doing in Star Wars? “Sir giving this a good story.”

    • @arcblooper2699
      @arcblooper2699 3 года назад +5

      I will never understand why people compare Reach to Rogue One. There’s a rough parallel to the last mission but other than that it’s completely different

  • @operativeg9493
    @operativeg9493 4 года назад +278

    Pablo is a crazy person who loves the sequels adamantly. Him and the rest of the story group pushed for a lot of the changes to canon you’re seeing.

    • @jamiebraswell5520
      @jamiebraswell5520 4 года назад +46

      Yes, he has long been confirmed to be an idiot. This book just puts the final nail in his coffin.

    • @larzguy3714
      @larzguy3714 4 года назад +39

      @@jamiebraswell5520 the story group is the most stupid shit i've heard. Disney found some asslickers who claims they know Star Wars.

  • @christoph11987
    @christoph11987 4 года назад +45

    I almost died when Vito was searching for Palpatine and his "secret plan" in the book. And on the next side: Behind the scenes! LMAO!!!

  • @Edmar_Fecler
    @Edmar_Fecler 4 года назад +78

    quick note regarding the "Holdo Maneuver" Everyone in the movies and the books and shit say its impossible, it was one in a million, lucky she got it right in the first place
    _and yet_
    in the "celebration montage" at the end of RoS there was a "holdo maneuver"ed star destroyer in space over Endor, with a bunch of Ewoks watching and celebrating! They did this in the same damn movie where, just 16 hours ago apparently, they said "oh its one in a million"
    And above Endor, so... *_how_*_ did it happen?_ did a bunch of fucking ewoks jack a shuttle and fucking do that?!

    • @elpenguinoofmexico1388
      @elpenguinoofmexico1388 2 года назад +26

      Never underestimate the power of ewoks

    • @maddoxio
      @maddoxio Год назад +7

      This is the Ewoks we're talking about. Those guys are nuts.

    • @chazzitz-wh4ly
      @chazzitz-wh4ly Год назад +1

      Launch more Star Wars Kuribohs.

    • @XanderMan77-np1ln
      @XanderMan77-np1ln Год назад +2

      That's what the movie should have been about. Ewoks taking out that Star Destroyer!

    • @abraham2172
      @abraham2172 Год назад +1

      I didnt know that star destroyer was holdo'ed. Fed up with the stupidity and laziness of the sequel writing, I simply assumed all evil ships conveniently exploded after the end battle.

  • @exoticcarfactsofficialchan7050
    @exoticcarfactsofficialchan7050 4 года назад +583

    Finn: refuses to kill innocent people, defects from the First Order, rescues Poe, BB-8, Rey, and joins the resistance, tries tirelessly to protect Rey and voluntarily attempts to sacrifice his own life to save the remaining rebels - Branded as a coward by Rian Johnson,Lucasfilm and the DSW Visual dictionary.
    Holdo: acts sketchy for almost the entire runtime of the last jedi, tells Poe that he based the survival of the resistance on " bad odds and put us all at risk",
    Then attempts and pulls off a "maneuver" with only a "one in a million" chance of success (while most likely trying to escape) - Celebrated as a hero of the Resistance and immortalized in Star Wars canon ... #fuckdisneystarwars
    #fandommenace

    • @aakarshasoka6335
      @aakarshasoka6335 4 года назад +63

      Finn has such solid potential. A Stormtrooper's POV would be really interesting.

    • @thereflexboxer2ndlt550
      @thereflexboxer2ndlt550 4 года назад +2

      How was he branded a coward?

    • @thereflexboxer2ndlt550
      @thereflexboxer2ndlt550 4 года назад +3

      @@aakarshasoka6335 But he was no longer a Storm trooper after the first 10 minutes so...

    • @aakarshasoka6335
      @aakarshasoka6335 4 года назад +43

      @@thereflexboxer2ndlt550 Yeah, so?
      The fact that he was once a Stormtrooper is sufficient. He could have provided a unique insight into what the First Order was like. They could have added a layer of complex moral ambiguity to the whole trilogy, but instead dropped it to follow their own agendo.

    • @thereflexboxer2ndlt550
      @thereflexboxer2ndlt550 4 года назад

      @@aakarshasoka6335 You forgot they are time limited. It’s not about storm troopers it’s about the skywalker family

  • @ChaosZero1031
    @ChaosZero1031 4 года назад +115

    22:05 It was a scandal that Darth Vader was Leia's father, gee I wonder what might befall Rey when it is found out that she was related to the very Emperor himself.
    Oh, wait nothing. Given how much of a Mary Sue she is they'd probably actually make her Empress and let her continue to 'salvage' more stuff from an established characters things.

    • @kingrodney441
      @kingrodney441 4 года назад +6

      Of course. Episode 10 will have some other girl ( probably a minority) come in a tear down Rey's new empire. Because from what I noticed no guy will ever beat her. She can't use her Mary Sue powers on other women

    • @coltonwhite2518
      @coltonwhite2518 4 года назад +13

      Which is bullshit. Leia was a galactic hero whose father destroyed the sith(atleast he did before Anakin was robbed of his redemption arc). For all intents and purposes she was a driving force behind the rebel alliance's leadership. Her being the new republic's first Chancellor makes just as much sense as Luke being the first Grand master of the revived jedi order. But expecting the disney canon to make sense is like expecting the movies to go thirty minutes without the story hitting some kind of plot hole or contrivance.

    • @bowenorcutt78
      @bowenorcutt78 3 года назад +4

      I refuse to even read that book solely because of that. One speech about how much she genuinely hates him because of all the horrible things he did and everything'd be fine in a halfway-sensible universe. That plot point being the main reason why the Resistance is a thing in turn makes THAT plot point even dumber by association. Better to ignore it and pretend the Republic can't openly fight the FO because of treaty BS; let them save face at least a little bit.

  • @combatking0
    @combatking0 4 года назад +1436

    Star Wars: The Forced Agenda
    Star Wars: The Last Time I'll Pay Di$ney For This $hite
    Star Wars: The Rising Number Of Unanswerable Questions

    • @jamesporter571
      @jamesporter571 4 года назад +81

      Honestly Rogue One and the Mandalorian are the only good things to come from Disney's Star Wars

    • @DaMaster012
      @DaMaster012 4 года назад +45

      The second one got a chuckle for me because that's what I did. I bought a ticket to _Ford v. Ferrari,_ then walked into the theater playing _The Rise of Palatine._ Then I went back later and bought another ticket for _Ford v. Ferrari._
      _Ford v. Ferrari_ was really good, by the way. I'd recommend it... way more than I'd recommend _The Fall of Skywalker._

    • @DoodleThis
      @DoodleThis 4 года назад +4

      James Porter Amen

    • @romanramirez7847
      @romanramirez7847 4 года назад +7

      James Porter I personally didn’t think Force Awakens was that bad of a movie, but I do agree that the other two ruined what potentially could have been a great story. I do agree Rouge One and The Mandalorian are fantastic though.

    • @aboyandhisdogos8158
      @aboyandhisdogos8158 4 года назад +11

      Rouge one was the only star wars film that actually felt like star wars the force awakens was ok not great but set up for some intresting developments. Then the last jedi subverted all expectations straight in the trash. Then the rise of sheeth retconed all they could from the last jedi and made some fake deaths and everyone are best friends for no reason

  • @bandicootsauce4569
    @bandicootsauce4569 4 года назад +106

    Holdo's plan in a nutshell: "I'm a bitch and a troll and loving it."
    Seriously, I wasn't 'moved' by her 'sacrifice' in the slightest. I was just glad to see her go. Good riddance to a character that, in my personal opinion, is WORSE... than Jar Jar Binks, Rose and all of Jabba the Hutt's dancing posse COMBINED.

    • @alightinthedarkages9494
      @alightinthedarkages9494 Год назад

      Don't forget her obscenity of a neck that can give the tallest giraffe an inferiority complex.

    • @sirpepeofhousekek6741
      @sirpepeofhousekek6741 Год назад

      I actually laughed at her stupid face when she turned to see all the escape pods getting blown up, because it was all her fault for not telling anyone the plan in the first place.

    • @razgriz9146
      @razgriz9146 Год назад +3

      Damn dude, that's fucking cold. Comparing ANYONE to Jar Jar Binks is a mortal sin, in my book. Except for this one instance, of course.

    • @quanlinglingdingle6122
      @quanlinglingdingle6122 Год назад +2

      Ngl i dont even feel bad when a resistance army died, they are bunch of fools compared to rebels

    • @chazzitz-wh4ly
      @chazzitz-wh4ly Год назад +1

      I couldn’t wait for her to be gone off the screen. She was so horrible and to find out her plan was built off really bad odds after chastising someone about bad odds just made it even more stupid.

  • @danieldaw1778
    @danieldaw1778 4 года назад +63

    I think the thing that made me the most mad was Rey being able to sail. The girl who grew up on a desert planet, who had LITERALLY never even seen a body of water bigger than a kiddy pool, can masterfully sail across an ocean with 30 foot waves. To me, that was probably the most egregious thing in the movie cause it's like, really? Rey has no business sailing. But not only can she sail, she can do so over gigantic, raging waves in the middle of a storm.

    • @abraham2172
      @abraham2172 Год назад +5

      Appearently, there were also fully functional sailing simulators on that star destroyer wreck. How conveniant.

    • @the-trustees
      @the-trustees 11 месяцев назад

      She also knew how to swim in "The Force Aborts." 🙄

    • @daverobson3084
      @daverobson3084 11 месяцев назад +1

      You're just mad because she's a STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER.
      Who is a master pilot, very skilled engineer, master at melee combat( even with weapons she has never used before), expert with a blaster( minutes after showing she doesn't know how to use one at all), skilled climber, brilliant gunner, skilled swimmer, expert sailor, multi lingual, amazingly powerful ( as in more than THE CHOSEN ONE) force user, despite growing up poor and abandoned on a backwater, desert planet.
      Okay. She's a horribly written character .
      Mary Sue rating=9.7( out of 10).

    • @the-trustees
      @the-trustees 11 месяцев назад +1

      @@daverobson3084 LOL! You got me at first! I thought you were uber-woke! I'm glad you ended up being a normal! 😃

    • @daverobson3084
      @daverobson3084 11 месяцев назад

      @@the-trustees
      I don't know about " normal", but I can detect a badly written character when I see one.

  • @Brospokenerd424
    @Brospokenerd424 4 года назад +252

    Palpatine was a speeder racer in his youth. But that’s from the old canon.

    • @BigBroTejano
      @BigBroTejano 4 года назад +88

      He was also a child... who was born... on Naboo... to a father and mother... a entire family... and now... he’s some kind of immortal Sith who’s “died many times”... what?

    • @eggplantwizard64
      @eggplantwizard64 4 года назад +25

      Well this whole series is now about the real heroes. The palpatines

    • @VinzKlortho
      @VinzKlortho 4 года назад +27

      Old canon & Legends are like the forbidden texts as far as Disney is concerned :-/

    • @comicsans1689
      @comicsans1689 4 года назад +4

      They also gave him the stupid name of Sheev, which I don't ever remember seeing mentioned in the pre-Disney canon.

    • @locustboy8448
      @locustboy8448 4 года назад +10

      Comic Sans Really? Wow I thought I would have caught that. I grew up around the Prequel era and remember Sheev being introduced sometime then but I could definitely be wrong.

  • @smolgobbo3826
    @smolgobbo3826 4 года назад +196

    If Rey learned to fly from simulators on a STAR DESTROYER, she should only know how to fly TIE ships! Different models of ship have different buttons and handle differently, after all. Only reason Luke was so good with an X-wing in the OT is 'cause it was made by the same company that made the T-16 he had back on Tattooine and had the same cockpit.

    • @tamarcanady5333
      @tamarcanady5333 4 года назад +3

      The simulator had tons of different ships. And since there was literally nothing to do on Jakku, she flew all of them over and over and over. I can’t believe we are talking about this explained plot point when there’s so much else to rant about!

    • @jonathanpascual5353
      @jonathanpascual5353 4 года назад +30

      Not to mention, according to Legends, the T-16 was often used to _TRAIN_ Rebel pilots.
      We’re not misogynists like others claim. We’re just far more convinced of Luke’s piloting skills than Rey’s are with a two-man _customized_ ship that she’s never touched before.

    • @zyshock
      @zyshock 4 года назад +2

      well you could also say that luke got his expert pilot skills from his father and his strong connection to the force as the son of the most powerful force user ever and of a person with more midochlorians than the most powerful force user ever instead of being the daughter of some failed clone and somebody random

    • @admin.slayerenryu
      @admin.slayerenryu 3 года назад +8

      @@zyshock Plus the fact that Anakin is/was also the best pilot of the galaxy, so Luke, who also seemed to have a talent for piloting from a young age, could've inhereted a bit of Anakin's talent. Even Beru straight up said that he was very alike from his father.

    • @ncapone87
      @ncapone87 3 года назад +2

      @@tamarcanady5333 if it's not explained in the main source material and only mentioned in supplemental material, it's bad writing

  • @jeramyh9344
    @jeramyh9344 4 года назад +125

    If there was a working flight simulator wouldn't her "scavenger instincts" have made her sell it for scrap?

    • @u.v.s.5583
      @u.v.s.5583 4 года назад +2

      The scavenger instincts were tamed by a feeling.

  • @SchaufelPKT
    @SchaufelPKT 2 года назад +20

    So, 999,999 times out of a million Holdo actually just flees the battle with the Resistances last ship and leaves the rest of the resistance members to be slaughtered, but in this quantum reality she just got extremely unlucky? Yes that seems more plausible.

  • @davideagin5321
    @davideagin5321 4 года назад +96

    In contrast, the Revenge of the Sith novelization was absolutely amazing. Added so much that the movie didn't have. For example, Anakin is so enraged at not being allowed to be a Master because Palpatine has convinced him that the Jedi Holocrons have secret knowledge about how to save people from dying. Palpatine plays Anakin to the point where Anakin becomes obsessed with becoming a Master. So Palpatine appoints him to the council, knowing full well they will allow Anakin to be there but won't make him a Master, which Palpatine knows will create an even deeper schism between Anakin and the Council.
    The ROTS book is SO good. If you're a Star Wars fan and you haven't read it, you're really missing out. It's been about 15 years since I read it but it's worth reading if you haven't done so.

    • @dairoshnoval776
      @dairoshnoval776 4 года назад +10

      It really is a great book, wasn't it written by the same guy who wrote the Mace Windu novel? Loved that too. Basically Apocalypse Now with Jedi

    • @vr5076
      @vr5076 4 года назад +10

      I recommend you to also read Labyrinth of Evil and Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader (both of which are Legends books). These books and the Revenge of the Sith novel form their own trilogy.

    • @the-point-bearer6689
      @the-point-bearer6689 2 года назад

      I got the book that contains all 3 Prequel Trilogy stuff, and I'm just about being in Phantom Menace arc, so I'll let you know what i thought about it.

    • @sandreid87
      @sandreid87 2 года назад +1

      It's just a shame you have to read a book, for the movies to be great, though. Imagine if the prequels were amazing on to themselves.

    • @deadshot5007
      @deadshot5007 Год назад

      And? Rise's novelisation is also great.

  • @IndianBrah
    @IndianBrah 4 года назад +130

    It's a sad day when Disney puts a blaster to the side of nerds heads and hands them a pencil and paper and goes: FIX THIS!!!

  • @kossend1
    @kossend1 4 года назад +101

    So Maz Kanata has candy in her bag. This is the same old alien lady who lured Rey into her basement and later told Finn and Rose to go and get help from a complete stranger. Also she fantasizes over Chewie, someone less than half her age of a different species.
    Is...is she actually some sort of deviant/predator? She'd better be on some sort of intergalactic register.

    • @BlueKatanaWarrior
      @BlueKatanaWarrior 2 года назад +2

      "less than half her age"? Wasn't Chewbacca like 350 years old when they met?

    • @RandomClips22023
      @RandomClips22023 2 года назад +3

      @@BlueKatanaWarrior 254, I think

    • @rawrdino7046
      @rawrdino7046 2 года назад +3

      She what about chewie?

    • @turtleanton6539
      @turtleanton6539 2 года назад +2

      @@BlueKatanaWarrior she could pass as 700 in my eyes

  • @brentc2411
    @brentc2411 4 года назад +431

    "Finn isn't a hero, he was only there for Rey."
    Uh, then Han isn't a hero, he only saved the princess for money.

    • @kimrasmussen7188
      @kimrasmussen7188 4 года назад +51

      he came back to the death star AFTER he got the money. not for long, but he WAS THERE. HERO

    • @brentc2411
      @brentc2411 4 года назад +14

      @@kimrasmussen7188 OK, But that was after saving the princes and getting his reward. That doesn't change that he only saved the princess for money.

    • @brentc2411
      @brentc2411 4 года назад +4

      I didn't move a goal post, it's been in the same place, saving the princess. You guys are going all over the place with his arc and saving Luke.

    • @brentc2411
      @brentc2411 4 года назад

      Uh, no, my original post was that he wasn't a hero when he saved the princess, it's right up there lol you salty tart.

    • @brentc2411
      @brentc2411 4 года назад

      @Ben A Also, my "whole argument" is one sentence, not sure what you're trying to grand stand here, but fight on soldier.

  • @Shadow25720
    @Shadow25720 4 года назад +26

    "Why are we not building massiv missles with hyperdrive and launch them into the enemy ships?"
    "He's to dangerous to kept alive"

  • @DerAnanasKing
    @DerAnanasKing 4 года назад +32

    number 6 is literally: People are complaining that Rei is too perfect. give her some flaws in this book.

    • @ChipmunkRapidsMadMan1869
      @ChipmunkRapidsMadMan1869 3 года назад +4

      She loses control of her force powers when she gets PMS.

    • @mrgreenboy644
      @mrgreenboy644 2 года назад +1

      I mean he did throw it away, free stuff is free stuff

  • @jdm90121
    @jdm90121 4 года назад +427

    Just read the Thrawn trilogy, everyone. It’s a million times better than anything Disney has ever done with Star Wars.

    • @thelaughingrouge
      @thelaughingrouge 4 года назад +7

      This!

    • @jirdan4870
      @jirdan4870 4 года назад +7

      Id also like to point out that even Disney Thrawn trilogy is quite good as it has more scientific explanation to more things than all other Disney star wars combined.

    • @jirdan4870
      @jirdan4870 4 года назад +1

      @Revan That's what I was implying. Zahn is amazing.

    • @HolyknightVader999
      @HolyknightVader999 4 года назад +11

      Also look at Dark Empire, the Dark Forces saga, and Crimson Empire for your post-ROTJ SW stories.

    • @stevenbacon-cheddar9914
      @stevenbacon-cheddar9914 4 года назад +2

      1000% FACT!

  • @DaMaster012
    @DaMaster012 4 года назад +268

    This is actually worse than a retcon; this is what's known to TvTropes afficanados (like myself) as a "Voodoo Shark."
    For those of you who don't know, a voodoo shark is when a writer (sometimes not the original writer) realizes there's a plot hole in a story, so they attempt to come up with an explanation to fill in or hand-wave away the plot hole... except it turns out that the explanation is a plot hole in of itself. Sometimes, it's even a bigger plot home than the one it's attempting to cover up.
    This trope gets its name from the novelization of _Jaws IV: The Revenge._ The book attempted to handwave away several plot holes, like how the shark was able to travel so quickly and why it was hunting down the Brodys specifically, by saying that a voodoo curse had been placed on the shark to give it supernatural abilities and teach it the concept of revenge. It's not only dumb, but the book then never bothers to explain who put the curse on the shark, when they put it on the shark, where they put it on the shark, how they put it on the shark, or most importantly, why the Hell would anyone put a voodoo curse on the shark to make it want revenge at all.
    A voodoo shark can actually be a good comedic tool if used properly ("... How _did_ we get here, Krunk?" "Well, you got me. By all accounts, it doesn't make sense."), but when it appears in a story the writer(s) intend for you to take seriously, it can irrevocably shatter the audience's immersion.
    The appearance of a voodoo shark, especially one big enough that the entire story depends on its presence, is one of the most telltale signs of an irreparably inept story or/and a hopelessly incompetent writer(s)... and the people who released this voodoo shark into the pool are on the payroll of one of if not the largest and most unfeeling corporations on the planet, which gave them the keys to one of the (formerly) most beloved franchises in human history.
    God, that's depressing to think about. Alexa, play something depressing.
    *"Got it. Recording your private life and selling the information to corporations and shadow governments now."*
    I'm sorry, WHAT?!
    *"Got it. Playing The Smiths now."*

    • @SuperJaguary
      @SuperJaguary 4 года назад +16

      @@zogwort1522 what the hell is all that rage over an internet term dude
      Like, srsly, he wrote this comment very well and you're just sticking to this one term and losing your shit over it, what the actual fuck is wrong with your brain

    • @SuperJaguary
      @SuperJaguary 4 года назад +15

      Thanks for the comment bro,never heard of the term "Voodoo Shark" before but it makes sense... It's sad that ppl who are paid so fucking much to write could be so fucking incompetent.

    • @sumdud2129
      @sumdud2129 4 года назад +1

      @@zogwort1522 why ya gotta be so ruuuude?~ 🎶

    • @dinotales4943
      @dinotales4943 4 года назад +3

      @@zogwort1522 why is that a problem.
      What's wrong with tv tropes?
      I don't know much so I'd appreciate if you'd fill me in

    • @dinotales4943
      @dinotales4943 4 года назад +1

      @@zogwort1522 1. Calm down dude.
      2. I have noticed stuff like this when visiting the website from time to time. Its very annoying, especially when aspiring writers, like me, just want some good writing and trope advice, and instead we see this crap.
      3. Sad thing is, I still use TV tropes because I cant find a good alternative.

  • @TwentyPercentDash
    @TwentyPercentDash 4 года назад +147

    Maz should have had Luke's green saber, which she attained after Luke ran off to the island. It's infinitely more plausible, and it would be much more impactful for Rey to hold it out to Luke, telling him to rejoin the fight.

    • @notfreeman6809
      @notfreeman6809 4 года назад +21

      That moment when a brony online has better ideas for star wars than the people who are payed thousands of dollars to make films that cost hundreds of millions of dollars to finance
      this fucking timeline...

    • @basketballgirl723
      @basketballgirl723 4 года назад +8

      Yeah what the hell happened to the green saber anyway? Did he toss the saber aside after he tried to murder his own nephew?

    • @notfreeman6809
      @notfreeman6809 4 года назад +5

      @@basketballgirl723 Neither Ryan or JJ thought of that, obliviously

    • @TwentyPercentDash
      @TwentyPercentDash 4 года назад +6

      @@basketballgirl723 - My assumptions is that Luke tossed it into the ocean after exiling himself and swearing to never be a Jedi again.

    • @mgeiger2341
      @mgeiger2341 4 года назад +2

      @@TwentyPercentDash Like uncle, like nephew.

  • @branflakescereal4174
    @branflakescereal4174 3 года назад +13

    I love how for the laser explanation, they just said “spacetime bending” without giving an actual explanation of how.

  • @theparrishshow9803
    @theparrishshow9803 2 года назад +24

    My biggest question is how the hell does that dagger line up with the wreckage of the second Death Star?
    There is no way in hell that the Sith dagger perfectly lines up with literal debris.

    • @lucasoheyze4597
      @lucasoheyze4597 Год назад

      Yet you saw it happen with your own eyes...so yeah, it did.

    • @theparrishshow9803
      @theparrishshow9803 Год назад +2

      @@lucasoheyze4597
      I obviously meant to that it’s stupid writing

    • @connormcmurphy4276
      @connormcmurphy4276 Год назад +1

      @@theparrishshow9803 yeah it is. And it would ONLY be visible with the daggers line up from an INCREDIBLY SPECIFIC location. If ur off by 100 feet in any direction, ur fucked.

    • @chazzitz-wh4ly
      @chazzitz-wh4ly Год назад +1

      And who the hell is the original possessor of the dagger? What is their relationship to Palpatine or the Death Star that would make them craft such a very specific thing for a very specific reason to find a very specific place that is specifically hidden away to be nearly impossible to get to?

  • @alexhayden219
    @alexhayden219 4 года назад +166

    Don't feel bad for Hidalgo. He's definitely a big part of the current Star Wars problem. He needs to go as much as KK does.

    • @silurianking716
      @silurianking716 3 года назад

      Isn't he behind like 75% of the lore, and a lot of the concept art?

    • @alexhayden219
      @alexhayden219 3 года назад +3

      @@silurianking716 no

  • @drogosbaggins9800
    @drogosbaggins9800 4 года назад +130

    Thumbnail: the book is worse than the movie!
    Me: is that even possible? Is it possible to learn this power?

    • @emilioperez6888
      @emilioperez6888 4 года назад +21

      Not for a good writer.

    • @rickymcgowen6776
      @rickymcgowen6776 4 года назад +14

      Not from George Lucas...

    • @stunner9005
      @stunner9005 4 года назад +5

      Not from Disney, only with the power of High School writing class will you gain the ability to...write a better story.

    • @lapplandkun9273
      @lapplandkun9273 3 года назад +3

      @@stunner9005 I can write fanfiction better than this. That's how sad and pathetic this trilogy is

    • @TeddyOG
      @TeddyOG 3 года назад +1

      The Disneyside has many abilities some consider to be unnatural

  • @samuelmiller8390
    @samuelmiller8390 4 года назад +316

    Luke: *throws lightsaber over his shoulder*
    Rey: "A FINE EDITION TO MY COLLECTION!!!"

    • @traktor420
      @traktor420 4 года назад +31

      Rey is just budget general grievous

    • @EclipseHedgehog
      @EclipseHedgehog 3 года назад +19

      Luke: *throws lightsaber over shoulder and walks away*
      Fans: *throws ticket over shoulder and walks out the theater*

    • @dariabusek3566
      @dariabusek3566 3 года назад +2

      Rey: "A FINE addition TO MY COLLECTION!!!"

    • @BungieStudios
      @BungieStudios 3 года назад +9

      >returns to embodiment of hell, Tatooine
      >buries lightsabers in sand
      >assumes the name Skywalker

    • @UnitSe7en
      @UnitSe7en 2 года назад

      addition*
      fml

  • @emberfist8347
    @emberfist8347 4 года назад +9

    Great video man but there are few things you missed
    1. Starkiller Base isn't just a death star rip-off it is an unholy combination of the Death Star, Sun Crusher, Galaxy Gun and Star Forge.
    2. Starkiller Base making a planet is logistical nightmare.
    3. Starkiller Base is an ice planet despite being a planet first in it's system and in a system with multiple suns.

    • @dreemurrprince
      @dreemurrprince 10 месяцев назад

      ..god please make it stop, the stupidity hurts..

  • @Tyrarl
    @Tyrarl Год назад +4

    The Leia "scandal" is so stupid too. Wouldn't they then know that Vader is Anakin? Who was a well known republic hero during the Clone Wars? And also a Jedi? Putting Luke's parentage aside, wouldn't the New Republic be concerned about Luke's new Jedi order if one of the most powerful Jedi and war generals could fall to the Sith, could that means someone like Vader could rise again (*cough* Kylo)? But nah, let's kick out the senator who led the rebellion that freed us.
    Idk I'm stoned maybe it makes no sense.

  • @shane3674
    @shane3674 4 года назад +61

    It’s really sad when they make a book to try to make sense out of nonsense but will never admit it was just a bad idea.

  • @craycejedi
    @craycejedi 4 года назад +175

    They really are making it up as they go. This is sad. How hard is it to do a little research into the story you're trying to make a movie from?

    • @dustin1931
      @dustin1931 3 года назад +18

      They don't even watch their own movies.

    • @alightinthedarkages9494
      @alightinthedarkages9494 Год назад

      If one is a lazy dlpshlt when creating material in a well and long established fictional universe, one doesn't put in the time required to respect the work of others and THINK HARD about aspects of what they're writing, as addendum to said established material. This isn't merely laziness however. It's piss poor planning attributed to greed (Disney's rushed timeframe), stupidity, and lack of respect for the traditions and works of others. These people don't give a SH1T about Star Wars. From Kathleen Palpatine to Jar Jar Hebrewz to especially petulant little twit Roundhead Rianne Has-No-Johnson, they are all moronic selfish prideful greedy nihilists plunging into the gaping maw of Hell at Mach speed.

  • @4u5t
    @4u5t 4 года назад +79

    Technically Finn does say in the first movie that the only reason he tags along is to save Rey. This is a major reason why I disliked his character from the start, and more proof that Rey is a Mary Sue; also a reason I didn't like Force Awakens in general.

    • @Susanoo7108
      @Susanoo7108 4 года назад +15

      @Nintendo Challenger X you've shown greater wisdom than any force user in the Disney trilogy lol

    • @lpshorselegends2512
      @lpshorselegends2512 4 года назад +3

      I hate it to but it’s better then the last Jedi and the rise of Skywalker

    • @shadesinsertlastname1631
      @shadesinsertlastname1631 4 года назад +3

      so finn is a simp

    • @4u5t
      @4u5t 4 года назад +2

      @@shadesinsertlastname1631 Exactly.

    • @kimrasmussen7188
      @kimrasmussen7188 4 года назад

      i actually liked that twist, it was so realistic. she is proly the first hot girl he has seen, and his training doesnt give him many other options to interact with her.
      looks like there was some trial versions with IR romance, but it apparantly failed at the screenings

  • @davideagin5321
    @davideagin5321 4 года назад +12

    "Hey Porkins, you're about to die anyway, just go to hyperspace. You're going to hit the Death Star before you technically enter hyperspace so you're going to blow up the Death Star if you do it."
    *Porkins* "No I'm alright, aghhh, ahhhhhhh!"

  • @jumpy_bunny686
    @jumpy_bunny686 3 года назад +2

    When I get caught shoplifting I’ll just say it’s my scavenger instinct

  • @OWnIshiiTrolling
    @OWnIshiiTrolling 4 года назад +596

    I like how the reason for Rey being good at anything is always that her parents had that skill. My dad used to be a surgeon, but I couldn't cleanly remove an appendix if my life depended on it.
    The worst example was that people were claiming that accents were hereditary. In what fucking universe are accents caused by genetics? xD

    • @emberfist8347
      @emberfist8347 4 года назад +31

      Agreed I was born in and still in the Southern US, but You couldn't from my lack of an accent.

    • @Toletanus
      @Toletanus 3 года назад +13

      The reason is that she is a Mary Sue. That`s all. A poor written female character made upon political agenda.

    • @MetaITurtle
      @MetaITurtle 3 года назад +10

      You can even get an accent if you move to another country over time

    • @cameronpritchett7512
      @cameronpritchett7512 3 года назад +10

      That's totally on point my dad is an ass hole so therefore I'm one too. Wait a minute....

    • @handleonafridge6828
      @handleonafridge6828 3 года назад +2

      To make it worse, you tend to develop your accent from your friends, not your family.

  • @jamesdawson2906
    @jamesdawson2906 4 года назад +595

    The actual answer to how maz got Luke’s lightsaber was
    she found it

    • @olivera6743
      @olivera6743 4 года назад +19

      James Dawson well ye, how else was she going to acquire it. That’s like, how you find things..

    • @traktor420
      @traktor420 4 года назад +15

      @@olivera6743 yeah, but where did she find it? When? Why is it in a box? Who found it originally?

    • @sinister_mozz__3432
      @sinister_mozz__3432 3 года назад +8

      Nah she just has spares

    • @traktor420
      @traktor420 3 года назад +13

      @@halliegeary8701 yeah, but how did it get to maz? Did it not fall down the same hole Luke’s hand did?

    • @bowenorcutt78
      @bowenorcutt78 3 года назад +2

      You know, when it turned up before they didn't bother explaining it either, though at least then it was found in Palpatine's private store house so you could assume Vader managed to grab it or something.

  • @frozarburst6350
    @frozarburst6350 4 года назад +85

    The sad thing is, the books prior to this movie and Disney as a whole were only used to expand on things we already knew, or things we didn't know but weren't required to read about. This feels like a necessity.

  • @Supportivechaos
    @Supportivechaos 4 года назад +8

    gotta love how the death star "exploded in a fiery ball of flame" yet both palpatine's spinny chair and the glass on his window were mostly undamaged. after exploding. and falling from space. then being erroded for 30 years.

  • @nasher931
    @nasher931 4 года назад +8

    How hard would it have been for Maz to say "I was with Lando when the New Republic reclaimed Bespin. It called to me from the depths of Cloud City. But even then, I knew it wasn't meant for me."

    • @dariabusek3566
      @dariabusek3566 3 года назад +3

      >>It called to me from the depths of Cloud City.

    • @garrettsattem4799
      @garrettsattem4799 9 месяцев назад

      @@dariabusek3566She could have easily just said “Oh, I found it while dumpster diving.” And it would have made way more sense.

  • @heftyjo2893
    @heftyjo2893 4 года назад +56

    If Rey figured out how to get the flight sims working on the Star Destroyer, it sounds like she could have started a new business with a flight school. Then, she could have made more money to buy magic expanding bread.

    • @giorgialadashvili4771
      @giorgialadashvili4771 4 года назад +18

      The idea of a poor scavenger learning piloting through simulators and not utilizing it one bit is honestly one of the most insane things I have ever heard.

    • @corruptangel6793
      @corruptangel6793 4 года назад +15

      Also, why would a Star Destroyer have a simulator for a heavily modified YT freighter? Wouldn't it just have Tie fighter simulations? Not to mention it's a freighter that has always required 2 pilots. I mean not even Han or Lando could fly the Falfon by themselves!

    • @kimrasmussen7188
      @kimrasmussen7188 4 года назад +3

      @@corruptangel6793 my thoughts exactly. the falcon is so special, that there prolly are NO sim data for it, and the empire certainly wouldnt have them on a generic SD.
      at least ½ dozen NEW failures IN ONE EXPLANATION. get bent pisney

    • @riverskipworth2657
      @riverskipworth2657 3 года назад +1

      , And anyways she shouldnt've cared about the simulators. Her entire life was about to survive! Why would she want to learn anything when all she did was sit there and wait? She didn't want to go away, thus she needs no flight practice. And you can't just master a skill with simulators. F*cking hell, they are called simulators for a reason! They show you how it feels to fly! It's like that: I've read a lot about wars, and military, but I bet I'd not last a second in a real battle! Reading about abilities can't grant them to you.

  • @RadishDoctor
    @RadishDoctor 4 года назад +95

    I just like the entire "The Last Jedi" the resistance fleet is complaining about space fuel; but jumping to Hyperspace doesn't require space fuel?

    • @HyperSonicX
      @HyperSonicX 3 года назад +11

      Well thanks to Solo we know hyperdrives require a different type of fuel, coaxium. I believe rhydonium is the accepted sub-light ship fuel since Clone Wars.

    • @girl-xk2db
      @girl-xk2db 3 года назад +1

      @@HyperSonicX I think coaxium is just the easiest and most efficient to convert into hypermatter, which is what hyperdrives use as fuel

    • @darwinxavier3516
      @darwinxavier3516 3 года назад +8

      @@HyperSonicX Coaxium was very clearly an after the fact retcon to say "SEE, SEE, there's justification for fuel being a concern!" Just like how the hyperspace accident in High Republic is trying to justify the Holdo maneuver.

    • @HyperSonicX
      @HyperSonicX 3 года назад

      @@darwinxavier3516 Well at the same time I was never under the impression that hyperspace fuel was the problem, it was the sub-light fuel.

    • @quazar5017
      @quazar5017 3 года назад +3

      In the crossection book vehicles do need fuel but it was never specified how much and what. Like a seperatist ship and one speeder car used radioactive fuel, others used ion fuels or hypermatter.

  • @Russocass
    @Russocass 4 года назад +80

    I am just 10 minutes in and asking myself if that book is even real. We've come to a point where we just laugh because they f'ed so hard that it has become easy to just truly take all this trilogy as fanfic.

    • @kimrasmussen7188
      @kimrasmussen7188 4 года назад +2

      no fans would do this . THEY HATE STAR WARS

  • @SuperNovaRider
    @SuperNovaRider 4 года назад +17

    Wouldn't the fact that the laser goes through hyperspace actually make it even more invisible?
    Like the laser would disappear from normal space into hyperspace and then exit hyperspace in front of its target planet. So even neighboring planets probably wouldn't even see the beam because the beam is only visible in normal space (since obviously you cannot look into hyperspace with your naked eyes) XD

    • @chazzitz-wh4ly
      @chazzitz-wh4ly Год назад +2

      If you can launch lasers through hyper space, why not try sending something else at that speed and seeing what happens? More plot holes.

    • @abraham2172
      @abraham2172 Год назад +1

      Yeah well, they space-time-bended the laser into hyperspace to destroy planets, and during that, they space-time-bended the laser out of the hyperspace so everyone could see it. While its in hyperspace heading towards the target.😅

  • @wizzleuno
    @wizzleuno 4 года назад +31

    The thing that killed me about the rey Skywalker thing was the old lady shuffled off before rey could even answer 😂😂 even the old bag wasn't bothered about rey answering

    • @chazzitz-wh4ly
      @chazzitz-wh4ly Год назад +4

      And she somehow snuck up on a super duper Jedi master in an open desert without her noticing.

  • @Maverick180c
    @Maverick180c 4 года назад +47

    Can we talk about how they use a chuckie cheese token to get into a star destroyer hanger?

    • @gork4035
      @gork4035 4 года назад +6

      Wait what!

  • @franklinturtleton6525
    @franklinturtleton6525 4 года назад +76

    "a good question, for another time"
    when in reality;
    "I bought it at a pawn shop"
    is a shorter explanation and probably would have been a nice bit of humor to interject into that scene.

  • @DoubleBoost23
    @DoubleBoost23 4 года назад +51

    "Rey has scavenger instincts"
    Finally, we know *something* about her _character!_
    Well, aside from being more talented than her grandpa despite neither of her parents training.

  • @potato42142
    @potato42142 4 года назад +12

    Still think its hilarious that the one guy suggests doing "holdo maneuvers" (which would be kamikaze mass-suicide attacks since no one thought of using autopilot or droids for it) as a valid combat strategy when they already have very limited forces and resources

    • @commodus232
      @commodus232 4 года назад

      One ship wiping out the better part of a fleet? 10 ships, sacrifice half, even if half of that at 2-3 ships succeed, the returns would be immense in the face of a threat that would be essentially unbeatable anyways at a glance.

    • @dariabusek3566
      @dariabusek3566 3 года назад +2

      >>that the one guy suggests doing "holdo maneuvers"

  • @julianmarco4185
    @julianmarco4185 4 года назад +6

    The Maz Kanada having Luke's lightsaber just as simply as how Nick Fury lost his eye. She could have just found it in a toilet...

  • @leonielson7138
    @leonielson7138 4 года назад +59

    19:50 "By reactivating long-dormant flight simulators within canted, dust-encrusted Star Destroyer decks, she hones her piloting skills to a fine point, unknowingly bolstered by an innate connection to the Force."
    The book is saying that a person who is strong in the Force is good at video games . . . So, if you successfully play video games at their highest setting you might be Force Sensitive.

    • @noted_insolence1894
      @noted_insolence1894 4 года назад +12

      And consequently are probably actually a lot better at flying than highly-trained military pilots, even when they are in top-of-the-line, nimble starfighters, and you are in a decades-old freighter that has been sitting in the desert. Well I'm gonna get back to Battlefront 2 now for some more real life flight experience!

    • @Nelkami
      @Nelkami 4 года назад +4

      I am good at Dark Souls which means I am now able to fight a giant 40 foot giant in melee combat without dying in real life

  • @Bopperann
    @Bopperann 4 года назад +44

    Crewmen: Sir, we can't do tha-
    Captain: And I want you to bend space and time so everyone in the galaxy can see it at that moment.
    Crewmen: Sir, is this a joke?
    Captain: DO IT LIVE!

    • @SaiIor_Moon
      @SaiIor_Moon 4 года назад

      @Lachelle Lewis "Cave Johnson, here. All right space men, it's time to show those rebels or "Resistance" as they call themselves, just who's boss! I want our new weapon to be seen EVERYWHERE! So I've got the lab boys trying to bend spacetime to make it happen! That's Aperture Science at its finest, ladies and gentlemen! Fools won't know what hit'em!"

  • @HolyknightVader999
    @HolyknightVader999 4 года назад +41

    At least the old Expanded Universe explained how they got Anakin's saber-they got it from Bespin. They also got Luke's hand, which allowed Grand Admiral Thrawn's Jedi friend to make a clone of Luke.

    • @SiddharthShenoy
      @SiddharthShenoy 3 года назад +1

      That is just as stupid.

    • @HolyknightVader999
      @HolyknightVader999 3 года назад +7

      @@SiddharthShenoy Not really. I mean, that's the next logical step for the Empire. You can't recruit Luke Skywalker, so you might as well clone the bastard.

    • @sergeantsharkseant
      @sergeantsharkseant 3 года назад

      The problem
      Is still that that shit was on a Gas planet that means it is under so much pressure it is a lightsaber pancake

    • @HolyknightVader999
      @HolyknightVader999 3 года назад

      @@sergeantsharkseant I suppose so.

  • @beezysbeatz4924
    @beezysbeatz4924 9 месяцев назад

    6:15 ...... The truth is that JJ Abrams didn't know that the Death Star was a mobile space station. He thought it was an actual star, moon or planet

  • @Tyrarl
    @Tyrarl Год назад +3

    Why the hell does an imperial flight simulator, designed to give pilots practice with symmetrical ships like shuttles and tie fighters, allow Rey to pilot an assymetrical ship like the millenial falcon so well, with a pilots seat situated on the side of the ship rather than the center!? It's so dumb! The more they try to explain the dumber it gets!

  • @timeforce80
    @timeforce80 4 года назад +89

    I thought I could escape a raid shadow legends ad but I guess they got to vito. Damn them!!

    • @Masada1911
      @Masada1911 4 года назад +11

      timeforce80 DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL

    • @commanderzander580
      @commanderzander580 4 года назад +3

      I'm happy about it, throwing some of that sweet Shadow Legends cash at Vito. RUclips screws him over all the time anyway.

    • @johannesseyfried7933
      @johannesseyfried7933 4 года назад

      You really can't escape it. 😢

    • @danielcroyle8859
      @danielcroyle8859 4 года назад

      Haha I think it’s a trash game as well.

  • @intelkore
    @intelkore 4 года назад +18

    C3PO, Finn, Poe: They fly now?!
    Rey: Yes. Yes, I do.

  • @GeekOwtLowd
    @GeekOwtLowd 4 года назад +30

    So... when you go into hyperspace you just go thru everything? I was pretty sure Han Solo said the computer had to perform complex calculations to avoid obstacles while flying thru hyperspace.
    "Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, boy! Without precise calculations we could fly right through a star or bounce too close to a supernova and that'd end your trip real quick, wouldn't it?"

    • @kimrasmussen7188
      @kimrasmussen7188 4 года назад +1

      "lightspeed skipping"... they even doubled down on it. get bent pisney

    • @kimrasmussen7188
      @kimrasmussen7188 4 года назад +4

      @Ben A if that was true, then it would be IMPOSSIBLE to colonize space.
      planets attract rocks, and even a SMALL rock would be the end of a star destroyer
      holdo maneuver looks cool, but it breaks the rules.
      lightspeed skipping too, the hyperdrive needs TIME to recharge, you just cant spam it like a filler skill

    • @kimrasmussen7188
      @kimrasmussen7188 4 года назад +1

      @Ben A yep, have you even SEEN ANH ?
      the asteroid field ? does that ring a bell?
      both millenium falcon AND star destroyers were damaged. and they were no where NEAR lightspeed.
      enjoy your disney failure

    • @kimrasmussen7188
      @kimrasmussen7188 4 года назад +2

      @Ben A lol. read it again. they broke the rules. i could have tolerated that, if it was a GREAT movie in other ways, but it isnt.

    • @kimrasmussen7188
      @kimrasmussen7188 4 года назад +2

      @Ben A yep, thats another argument against lightspeed skipping.
      calculations are only good if you have accurate numbers. show me a radar,
      that has a range of many lightyears,
      and a signal that can go MUCH FASTER THAN LIGHT. and even if the numbers are correct, you better hope, that there isnt another ship on the same route.
      the OT hinted, that ships were mostly safe hyperspace, and it couldnt work any other way

  • @crichardson1893
    @crichardson1893 4 года назад +5

    6:10 I bet Rey the Mary Sue could move 90 jillion planets just by thinking about it

  • @odysseusstallings5535
    @odysseusstallings5535 4 года назад +6

    What's really funny is that at the very beginning of TLJ Rose literally was going gaga over Finn and called him a hero until she saw he was trying to leave to find Rey

  • @skeletorrobo
    @skeletorrobo 4 года назад +42

    Well I'm reading James Luceno's prequel trilogy novels (including Darth Plageius) I can recommend those.

  • @viscountrainbows6452
    @viscountrainbows6452 4 года назад +30

    I remember when these books gave purely supplemental lore information if you wanted to know what all the knobs on a lightsaber did, what the buttons on Vader's suit were for, the engine components of an X-wing, what Chewbacca's bandolier had in it. Y'know, just fun stuff, a little FYI that wasn't *crucial* to understanding the slapdash character and plot gumbo of the sequel trilogy, that is still being written to this FUCKEN DAY. Maz carries little SweeTarts with her, eh, book? Well that'd be a cute little fun fact like the old examples I gave, if not for her narrow orange ass being a supermassive plot hole and a half in its *density.*
    But whatever, I'm sure Eric Butts and other superfans who would pay for Star Wars branded jugs of goat shit, are having fun, and that's... fine. Though it beggars the classic material this fungal growth is sprouting from. They can have their fun, but surely, it is a selfish variety that puts Pew Pew laser shows over the heart that made us fall in love with the Pew Pew lasers happening around it. Ffs that's why Shaun of The Dead isn't just seen as a parody, but both an earnest zombie movie, and romantic comedy, while sacrificing no element of either.
    Disney Star Wars is just a bad parody made with all the earnestness of a wallflower in junior high who doesn't get Star Wars or how it works, but really really likes it. You needn't be a turbonerd to see that the Dequel Trilogy is just bursting with bad writing, and these patch update books just make it more apparent that they're leaving it to nu fans, to write this shit for them. Pathetic.

  • @heraldyaxelevi8132
    @heraldyaxelevi8132 4 года назад +77

    You have one job, Dinsey Star Wars overpriced book, one job.

  • @davideagin5321
    @davideagin5321 4 года назад +1

    Vito, the worst thing about this trilogy is that no one at Disney had any clue about Star Wars, what it was about, the key themes and basic rules of the movies and books, and even the basic mythological ideas that make for great stories. They turned Star Wars into some goofy super hero genre type movie where dumb stuff happens and fans of those types of movies just accept it and don't ask any questions.
    Disney completely underestimated the underlying story of Star Wars and the fans' understanding of that story. They think we're all just dumb sheep.

  • @ericwilson281
    @ericwilson281 4 года назад +18

    This is hilarious! #6 killed me! I was laughing intermittently days later!
    That said... Holdo maneuver is dumber than even Vito makes it out. You know what else is 1 in a million? Winning the lottery! Does a "good leader" bet the lives of EVERYONE on lottery odds!? Also, the "math" is way easier than Vito suggests. Ship enters hyperspace speed in X distance. Anything it hits before X is Holdo maneuvered!

    • @emberfist8347
      @emberfist8347 4 года назад +1

      Only when there is not other option. The Battle of Yavin was one in a million, but it was crazy enough to work. Holdo's plan was not.

  • @Stintfang
    @Stintfang 4 года назад +26

    Funny review. my thoughts for the whole sequel trilogy are these: the writers have absolutely no ideas about physical laws or respect at least some SW-universe rules. They seem to think: "We can do what we want - it's science fiction.". I am an older bloke and in my years of reading and watching scifi I always accepted some minor dramaturgic concepts (like sound in space or hyperspace jumps). without these we would not really be entertained. BUT. As you mentioned with the Starkiller "laser" they gave a shit about lightspeed and distances in space. And since I am willing to accept that Rey might have piloting skills, I can't get over it when people watching a beam in the sky and explosions everywhere. The misinformation already starts by powering up Starkiller base because the concept was to use the nearby sun to drag it's energy from it and make the energy blast from it. We see Han and his friends watching the star die while it is getting darker. even here my scientific mind is crying.
    However, I am glad the trilogy is over and really hope that future SW movies will be written by people with some basic rules of physicals laws.

  • @WTFBazda
    @WTFBazda 4 года назад +24

    Dammit Vito! This is the funniest thing I've seen on RUclips in a long time. Maz's pouch of Werther's originals had me laughing so hard it sent me into a coughing fit!
    Haven't wasted my time on this movie yet, but look forward to your review!

    • @vito
      @vito  4 года назад +3

      Haha glad you liked it

    • @therealtornadosam
      @therealtornadosam 4 года назад +1

      @@vito Your Rise of Skywalker review was the BEST. Hilarious video!

  • @aikordcz4424
    @aikordcz4424 2 года назад +4

    17:28 Rey is like "ah, a fine addition to my collection" * jumps off the cliff *

  • @SuperNovaRider
    @SuperNovaRider 4 года назад +4

    Wow, so Luke's Lightsaber fell from up in Cloud City all the way, miles down to the surface of Bespin ... and remained intact. That's some solid construction. :D

  • @marcello7781
    @marcello7781 4 года назад +36

    That book looks like one fo those college last-minute drafts, when the deadline is getting closer and closer and so, in hurry and panic, you just copy and paste random parts.

    • @Guffaw9494
      @Guffaw9494 4 года назад +7

      Marcello SDLT just like the movie

    • @jarrodedson5441
      @jarrodedson5441 4 года назад +1

      @@Guffaw9494 no shit Sherlock.......the movie is shit

  • @MD-Coin
    @MD-Coin 4 года назад +17

    13:00 I dont think you "speed up" in order to enter hyperspace. If so you'd experience G forces during that time. People and stuff would be flying all over the inside of the ships. But they're routinely walking around as the lever is being pushed and don't even seem to notice.

    • @Susanoo7108
      @Susanoo7108 4 года назад +1

      True. The Expanse is a good example of what going at high G speed does to your body and health.

    • @dorianl7294
      @dorianl7294 4 года назад +2

      TLJ even shows Poe experiencing the effects of inertia when he goes to blow up the surface cannons. It literally contradicts its own rules.

    • @onlypeaceindeath
      @onlypeaceindeath 4 года назад

      Star wars do have acceleration compensation technology though. Starships are routinely accelerating at hundreds or even thousands of G's in the movies.

  • @Rocksteady72a
    @Rocksteady72a 4 года назад +54

    "Star Wars is sci fi, not a fantasy!"
    Me: *casually sends them this video

    • @betterlatethannever4529
      @betterlatethannever4529 4 года назад +5

      It was...until Disney touched it...

    • @sergeantsharkseant
      @sergeantsharkseant 3 года назад +5

      @@betterlatethannever4529 well it is sic fantasy because of space magic (Fantasy also doesn’t allow logic breaking dumb shit)

    • @pedrovilasgomes9144
      @pedrovilasgomes9144 3 года назад +1

      I love how "Fantasy" is just another genre of fiction, and even though it is generally associated with medieval settings it is defined by the presence of unnatural and magic elements, so by this logic Star Wars IS fantasy(if we do just like the movies did and ignore all that talk about Midchlorians in Phantom Menace)

    • @FMK03
      @FMK03 2 года назад

      @@pedrovilasgomes9144 Why do people hate Midichlorians so much? They explain why some characters and specific alien species, say Luke Skywalker and the Miraluka (A blind, humanoid alien species that 'sees' with the force) can use the force and why other characters, like Han couldn't.

    • @pedrovilasgomes9144
      @pedrovilasgomes9144 2 года назад

      @@FMK03 I don't hate Midichlorians, I think the idea makes sense, humans like explanations, I just said that because without them Star Wars is fantasy, as there is no reason for the force to work besides it being the force

  • @thescreenslaver8520
    @thescreenslaver8520 4 года назад +6

    19:36 That’s actually true. In the Star Wars book Before the Awakening it says that Rey learned how to fly using simulators and piloting star ships but never left the planet waiting for her family to return.

  • @chazzitz-wh4ly
    @chazzitz-wh4ly Год назад +2

    What’s in the box, JJ? Oh… Another mystery box. The problem with the retcons from these books is that they just create even more plot holes. This trilogy is indefensible.