Excellent subject. Learned young that I wouldn't be fitting in. Tried a few times to "fit" but gave up...have a "screw it" attitude. Prefer avoiding but that not always possible. It is freeing to not have to be concerned about what "everyone" else is doing. It's not easy at all even very hard to stand your ground and live life on your terms when it seems few see life the same way you do. It's always worth it in the end even when you are the only one and it's "dark times" for you and you can't see around the corner to see the good results that is waiting there. Thanks for the video.
I think the thing is that I've learned not to worry about not being a people pleaser. When I was younger, I always found it hard to be part of a group and to a certain extent, still do. Put me in a group of people and I'll still find myself on the edges. It's the same with his channel. I can get a lot of followers by covering subjects that are popular, and sometimes I will if it's something I'm interested in, but changing the content to this style of video , covering this kind of content seem to always affect the amount of view I get and subscriptions I lose. However, I feel that if this content helps just one person, it was worth posing it.
Pleasing people in a way is that is not genuine from your side will make the other person take advantage of you. When you do something to please someone because you truly want to, even when their response is less than ideal, then you are in a good place. I'm not a group person but a good group is healthy and supportive. As far as RUclips goes, focus on your why, create the videos on subjects you want, allow the subscriber numbers do whatever they do (ignore them for a bit) and find the joy in making exactly what you want. Don't let the system dictate your content. I watch channels that I don't subscribe to only watching based on the topics. Most of the time we never know what we say or do that has a positive effect on people. Life is a continual "choose you own adventure"". The choices we make today determines what will happen in the next chapter of our life. Well, that's how I think about it. BTW I found your channel when watching lots of physical media videos. Stayed because of other content. Have a good weekend.
Absolutely great video. Many of the problems I deal with every day. People are resistant to creativity so they lapse into imitation. I went through a childhood trauma so I got forced into finding my own way through life. Plus growing in Finland after the Russian war, I got infested with the mentality of the warrior. I spent my youth on my uncle's farm close to the border so the spirit of the war I think was always in the air. I was taken by me parents to Canada and I have always been resistant to being told my way through life.
Really great video love the truth of it.You have to be true to yourself or your on another level that’s not you.Walking in the woods will always set your mind free.Don’t forget the Rock n Roll Videos as well great stuff.👍👍👍.
Sorry for the late reply. Just discovered it in the held in review section. Hopefully your enjoying the new format - I only want to come across as me and felt that I wasn't doing that. So it was time for a change
Another great and valuable message! I think with the world today (or possibly any day) this is important. I might be part of the zeitgeist, but I recently started a series on my channel about what is important to me, how getting off track has been detrimental to a good and fulfilling life, and trying to share what I’ve learned so I can turn things around. For me, that’s making art everyday… and your talk has been a real work of art here. All the best!
Sorry it's taken me a while, but I just watched your 'Make Art Everyday Pt1' video and am mightily impressed! It must have taken hours to put that video together and I loved the message too. I've also subscribed. This is great work!
@@JamesMurphyYT No apologies necessary! I’m glad you liked it! Haha, yes… I do spend a bit of time on my videos, but it scratches a film-maker itch I had since my youth I suppose. Thank you for taking the time to watch and subscribing! It means a lot in the sea of content on this platform. Keep up the great work! I’m always happy to see your videos pop up in my subscription feed.
As I have mentioned, my own parents and sister didn't like me and it is hard to get what they said out of my mind after all those years of living with them. And so my journey began to be part of the 'in-crowd' and failing. Today, I have lived in this bldg for 21 years and after the first few years stopped going to whatever people were planning. Because every one of them ended up with the same groups of people sitting at the same tables and gossiping. I know they gossip about me because 1. I'm not there and 2. I've overheard them and 3. people on the elevator or getting mail ask me why I "fill-it-in" and I have never done that in my life. When you're not there, they make things up. The gossip never stops. I am perfectly happy with the two friends I have here because I don't need those other people so I can feel good about myself. (Ever notice people on Facebook who have thousands of 'friends'? The most I ever had at a time was 30 and I was constantly weeding people out. Right now I have 1 because she wants to keep in touch with me. And she lives in London! The worst thing (and partly, maybe the best...I was so shy) I ever did was work for the rock bands. I was never a groupie because they get dumped. (And no matter where you work, if you sleep with boss you will get fired...there are now woman bosses so men are included in that.) Because of my anxiety/depression, I was in real pain most of the time. I couldn't even eat properly and was surprised when I discovered I weighed 89 lbs/6.4 stone! Now, I look back and realize that I got what I wanted at the time, the relationship, but now these people don't remember my name, I can get pain remembering those days, and I am left with a load of great backstage/hotel stories that I really have lost interest in telling. So, I have cleaned out most of the photos and memorabilia (yes, I scanned a lot and put the thumb drives away) and have more room for books and CDs and DVDs and all my colouring books. Interestingly, if you get a colouring book to colour 'phrases you need in your life'...Be You, Be Yourself, Be True to Yourself...are included in every one of those books. We all need that on our wall. So, I am glad to hear that you are embracing it! Rock on. P.S. I was just watching a video of funny British commercials from the 70s. No one, not even the guy who posted it, recognized Jeremy Clyde! I posted that they all needed to go and listen to every song by Chad and Jeremy posted on RUclips! Wow, is Yesterday (really) Gone!
I feel humbled that you share part of your story with me. I'm sure having those memories are hurtful, but as I see it, you're a warrior who's gone her own way and done what's right for you. I was one of those Facebook people who reached the 5000 friend limit, thanks to my radio show following. However when I decided to call it a day, many of those were even interested in talking to me, but that's OK, because I knew that would happen. Luckily, I knew that people liked my shows because I played great music and kept my talking down to a minimum and without all the drivel we hear today. Over the years since I stopped, I've thinned my friends down. It's till in the 800s. Not that I spend a lot of time there anymore. Instead of telling my stories and sharing my thoughts there, I now do that hear. As for Jeremy Clyde, Chad and Jeremy aren't really known in the UK. I'm not sure they ever had a hit here. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
@@JamesMurphyYT Out of the hospital again and am way behind. I will have to start watching what you put up. I had to come here first about Chad and Jeremy. I was gobsmacked when I read that. Yes, they did only Yesterday's Gone or Summer Song in England that got up in the 30s in the charts. Nothing else. They were huge in the USA. Jeremy started acting in 1968 or so on the Dick Van Dyke Show. He was hilarious. I guess he got the bug there. Along with Chad plus Peter and Gordon, the Beatles wrote songs for them. He has been touring with Peter since 2018. Meanwhile, after C&J broke up, he came back to England. He had done a few shows in USA but all of his main shows were British. He has appeared in 115 shows and movies! Including Downtown Abbey and Eastenders. I guess I thought he would have been recognized in the ad because of all his TV appearances, but most of the people commenting were, of course, from USA. My fav of his was Gessler in Crossbow. He pulled off being so devious and mean. When the Princess was suspected of helping William Tell and his son (she was), the king said that would make her a traitor and she could be executed or married off to Gessler. She said, "I'd rather be executed." (Roger Daltrey was in that show, too.) Anyway. I'm better now and will get to your posts as soon as I can. The titles look good and I need pep talks and suggestions now. Hope you are well, God bless.
Good advice , in this modern social media led time it is easy to be false to yourself and unfortunately some vulnerable people get into the wrong crowd because it is easier to follow the wrong path than find your own correct path.
It's more people than you think Gary. I've found it's always been like it. So many people want to fit and I'm not saying that it's wrong, it's just not right foe me.
So glad you’ve talked about this, I think it’s important to feel comfortable in your own skin and go with gut instinct. I’m working on the being comfortable in my own skin but I always go with my gut instinct especially when it comes to people and certain situations. Thanks for another wonderful video!
I've often found that the times when I go against my 'gut instinct' are the times I come unstuck and do what's not right for me. As I've said in other videos, I was in my mid-50s before I got comfortable in my own skin and often felt uncomfortable trying to fit in. I also felt uncomfortable on the outside, but since I found out who I was deep down, decision making has become much easier! Thanks for watching!
100% agree with you mate. I hate being in a group of alpha males, all trying to vie for control of attention/the conversation and when in this situation really feel like not being there. Question for you, I was out for a few beers a while back in a group just like this and was introduced to someone who I sensed IMMEDIATELY did not like me, everytime I contributed to the conversation this chap would just put on a disdainful look etc. I even asked some of the other guys there what his problem was and they just shrugged. Sorry it’s a bit off piste but what would you have done in that situation?
I look at it this way, we're all different and not everyone is going to like us. I've been in groups where I've probably done the same. I remember being in a group and one person did the same, and I felt like you did. When he spoke, I felt the same about him. Sometimes, for no real reason people can't relate. It's at times like that, I'm quite happy to walk away and go and talk to someone else. I frankly, don't waste my energy on them, as it only starts to play on your mind. In saying that, every situation's different. It's also possible that that person could've just been in a mood. There's also times when I've been out when I've felt fragile and took things to heart that probably weren't intended. So what I'm basically saying is that each situation can be different for a myriad of reasons and I'll just try and detach myself from the situation. 20 years ago though, I'd have probably asked him what is problem was and it would have gone in an entirely different route. I've calmed down I think.
Thank you. I just talk about things that I've picked up along the journey. I don't think I know it all, it's just my perspectives that I share so that my sons get to hear them.
I don't know if you enjoy this music, but I think you'd enjoy the story. They have plenty of other songs worth checking out: Bismarck, Red Baron, etc. As far as being yourself, life is all about compromise. For people to accept us, we have to accept them and maybe someday we'll meet in the middle. ruclips.net/video/dslO-3GgenY/видео.htmlsi=jroPzkccuu1__AuK
Sorry for the late reply. Just discovered it in the held in review section. I'll check the video out. Yes, I believe it is a two way street. My starting position is that I like will someone until they do something to make me adjust my thinking.
![Chino Pacas - Smith (ft. Junior H & Fuerza Regida) [Video Visualizador Oficial]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/BVK6k56X30Y/mqdefault.jpg)
Thank you.
You're welcome!
I regret *every time* I've gone against my better judgment... it's not easy to go against the grain but worth it in the end!
Totally agree with you. I've learned to go with mu 'gut feeling' over the years.
@@JamesMurphyYT I'm enjoying your channel and appreciate your opinions on music and life in general: keep up the good work 👏
That's kind of you. Thank you.
Excellent subject. Learned young that I wouldn't be fitting in. Tried a few times to "fit" but gave up...have a "screw it" attitude. Prefer avoiding but that not always possible. It is freeing to not have to be concerned about what "everyone" else is doing. It's not easy at all even very hard to stand your ground and live life on your terms when it seems few see life the same way you do. It's always worth it in the end even when you are the only one and it's "dark times" for you and you can't see around the corner to see the good results that is waiting there. Thanks for the video.
I think the thing is that I've learned not to worry about not being a people pleaser.
When I was younger, I always found it hard to be part of a group and to a certain extent, still do. Put me in a group of people and I'll still find myself on the edges.
It's the same with his channel. I can get a lot of followers by covering subjects that are popular, and sometimes I will if it's something I'm interested in, but changing the content to this style of video , covering this kind of content seem to always affect the amount of view I get and subscriptions I lose.
However, I feel that if this content helps just one person, it was worth posing it.
Pleasing people in a way is that is not genuine from your side will make the other person take advantage of you. When you do something to please someone because you truly want to, even when their response is less than ideal, then you are in a good place. I'm not a group person but a good group is healthy and supportive. As far as RUclips goes, focus on your why, create the videos on subjects you want, allow the subscriber numbers do whatever they do (ignore them for a bit) and find the joy in making exactly what you want. Don't let the system dictate your content. I watch channels that I don't subscribe to only watching based on the topics. Most of the time we never know what we say or do that has a positive effect on people. Life is a continual "choose you own adventure"". The choices we make today determines what will happen in the next chapter of our life. Well, that's how I think about it. BTW I found your channel when watching lots of physical media videos. Stayed because of other content. Have a good weekend.
You too. Thanks!
Absolutely great video. Many of the problems I deal with every day. People are resistant to creativity so they lapse into imitation. I went through a childhood trauma so I got forced into finding my own way through life. Plus growing in Finland after the Russian war, I got infested with the mentality of the warrior. I spent my youth on my uncle's farm close to the border so the spirit of the war I think was always in the air. I was taken by me parents to Canada and I have always been resistant to being told my way through life.
Thanks for sharing part of your story. I think it's important to have your own ethical compass.
Really great video love the truth of it.You have to be true to yourself or your on another level that’s not you.Walking in the woods will always set your mind free.Don’t forget the Rock n Roll Videos as well great stuff.👍👍👍.
Sorry for the late reply. Just discovered it in the held in review section. Hopefully your enjoying the new format - I only want to come across as me and felt that I wasn't doing that. So it was time for a change
Another great and valuable message! I think with the world today (or possibly any day) this is important.
I might be part of the zeitgeist, but I recently started a series on my channel about what is important to me, how getting off track has been detrimental to a good and fulfilling life, and trying to share what I’ve learned so I can turn things around. For me, that’s making art everyday… and your talk has been a real work of art here. All the best!
That's very kind of you to say so. I'll check your channel out tomorrow when I'm in front of my PC.
Sorry it's taken me a while, but I just watched your 'Make Art Everyday Pt1' video and am mightily impressed! It must have taken hours to put that video together and I loved the message too. I've also subscribed. This is great work!
@@JamesMurphyYT No apologies necessary! I’m glad you liked it!
Haha, yes… I do spend a bit of time on my videos, but it scratches a film-maker itch I had since my youth I suppose.
Thank you for taking the time to watch and subscribing! It means a lot in the sea of content on this platform.
Keep up the great work! I’m always happy to see your videos pop up in my subscription feed.
As I have mentioned, my own parents and sister didn't like me and it is hard to get what they said out of my mind after all those years of living with them. And so my journey began to be part of the 'in-crowd' and failing. Today, I have lived in this bldg for 21 years and after the first few years stopped going to whatever people were planning. Because every one of them ended up with the same groups of people sitting at the same tables and gossiping. I know they gossip about me because 1. I'm not there and 2. I've overheard them and 3. people on the elevator or getting mail ask me why I "fill-it-in" and I have never done that in my life. When you're not there, they make things up. The gossip never stops. I am perfectly happy with the two friends I have here because I don't need those other people so I can feel good about myself. (Ever notice people on Facebook who have thousands of 'friends'? The most I ever had at a time was 30 and I was constantly weeding people out. Right now I have 1 because she wants to keep in touch with me. And she lives in London!
The worst thing (and partly, maybe the best...I was so shy) I ever did was work for the rock bands. I was never a groupie because they get dumped. (And no matter where you work, if you sleep with boss you will get fired...there are now woman bosses so men are included in that.) Because of my anxiety/depression, I was in real pain most of the time. I couldn't even eat properly and was surprised when I discovered I weighed 89 lbs/6.4 stone! Now, I look back and realize that I got what I wanted at the time, the relationship, but now these people don't remember my name, I can get pain remembering those days, and I am left with a load of great backstage/hotel stories that I really have lost interest in telling. So, I have cleaned out most of the photos and memorabilia (yes, I scanned a lot and put the thumb drives away) and have more room for books and CDs and DVDs and all my colouring books.
Interestingly, if you get a colouring book to colour 'phrases you need in your life'...Be You, Be Yourself, Be True to Yourself...are included in every one of those books. We all need that on our wall. So, I am glad to hear that you are embracing it! Rock on.
P.S. I was just watching a video of funny British commercials from the 70s. No one, not even the guy who posted it, recognized Jeremy Clyde! I posted that they all needed to go and listen to every song by Chad and Jeremy posted on RUclips! Wow, is Yesterday (really) Gone!
I feel humbled that you share part of your story with me.
I'm sure having those memories are hurtful, but as I see it, you're a warrior who's gone her own way and done what's right for you.
I was one of those Facebook people who reached the 5000 friend limit, thanks to my radio show following.
However when I decided to call it a day, many of those were even interested in talking to me, but that's OK, because I knew that would happen.
Luckily, I knew that people liked my shows because I played great music and kept my talking down to a minimum and without all the drivel we hear today.
Over the years since I stopped, I've thinned my friends down. It's till in the 800s.
Not that I spend a lot of time there anymore.
Instead of telling my stories and sharing my thoughts there, I now do that hear.
As for Jeremy Clyde, Chad and Jeremy aren't really known in the UK. I'm not sure they ever had a hit here.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
@@JamesMurphyYT Out of the hospital again and am way behind. I will have to start watching what you put up. I had to come here first about Chad and Jeremy. I was gobsmacked when I read that. Yes, they did only Yesterday's Gone or Summer Song in England that got up in the 30s in the charts. Nothing else. They were huge in the USA. Jeremy started acting in 1968 or so on the Dick Van Dyke Show. He was hilarious. I guess he got the bug there. Along with Chad plus Peter and Gordon, the Beatles wrote songs for them. He has been touring with Peter since 2018. Meanwhile, after C&J broke up, he came back to England. He had done a few shows in USA but all of his main shows were British. He has appeared in 115 shows and movies! Including Downtown Abbey and Eastenders. I guess I thought he would have been recognized in the ad because of all his TV appearances, but most of the people commenting were, of course, from USA. My fav of his was Gessler in Crossbow. He pulled off being so devious and mean. When the Princess was suspected of helping William Tell and his son (she was), the king said that would make her a traitor and she could be executed or married off to Gessler. She said, "I'd rather be executed." (Roger Daltrey was in that show, too.)
Anyway. I'm better now and will get to your posts as soon as I can. The titles look good and I need pep talks and suggestions now. Hope you are well, God bless.
@missjoshemmett I hope you're feeling better ow you're back home.
I didnt know all that info! Even at my age, I learn something new everyday!
Some deep thoughts thank you mate
You're welcome. Thanks for watching.
Good advice , in this modern social media led time it is easy to be false to yourself and unfortunately some vulnerable people get into the wrong crowd because it is easier to follow the wrong path than find your own correct path.
It's more people than you think Gary.
I've found it's always been like it.
So many people want to fit and I'm not saying that it's wrong, it's just not right foe me.
So glad you’ve talked about this, I think it’s important to feel comfortable in your own skin and go with gut instinct. I’m working on the being comfortable in my own skin but I always go with my gut instinct especially when it comes to people and certain situations. Thanks for another wonderful video!
I've often found that the times when I go against my 'gut instinct' are the times I come unstuck and do what's not right for me.
As I've said in other videos, I was in my mid-50s before I got comfortable in my own skin and often felt uncomfortable trying to fit in.
I also felt uncomfortable on the outside, but since I found out who I was deep down, decision making has become much easier!
Thanks for watching!
100% agree with you mate. I hate being in a group of alpha males, all trying to vie for control of attention/the conversation and when in this situation really feel like not being there. Question for you, I was out for a few beers a while back in a group just like this and was introduced to someone who I sensed IMMEDIATELY did not like me, everytime I contributed to the conversation this chap would just put on a disdainful look etc. I even asked some of the other guys there what his problem was and they just shrugged. Sorry it’s a bit off piste but what would you have done in that situation?
I look at it this way, we're all different and not everyone is going to like us.
I've been in groups where I've probably done the same.
I remember being in a group and one person did the same, and I felt like you did.
When he spoke, I felt the same about him.
Sometimes, for no real reason people can't relate.
It's at times like that, I'm quite happy to walk away and go and talk to someone else.
I frankly, don't waste my energy on them, as it only starts to play on your mind.
In saying that, every situation's different.
It's also possible that that person could've just been in a mood.
There's also times when I've been out when I've felt fragile and took things to heart that probably weren't intended.
So what I'm basically saying is that each situation can be different for a myriad of reasons and I'll just try and detach myself from the situation.
20 years ago though, I'd have probably asked him what is problem was and it would have gone in an entirely different route.
I've calmed down I think.
Thanks James, your videos are always very insightful 🙏
Thank you. I just talk about things that I've picked up along the journey.
I don't think I know it all, it's just my perspectives that I share so that my sons get to hear them.
I don't know if you enjoy this music, but I think you'd enjoy the story. They have plenty of other songs worth checking out: Bismarck, Red Baron, etc. As far as being yourself, life is all about compromise. For people to accept us, we have to accept them and maybe someday we'll meet in the middle.
ruclips.net/video/dslO-3GgenY/видео.htmlsi=jroPzkccuu1__AuK
Sorry for the late reply. Just discovered it in the held in review section. I'll check the video out. Yes, I believe it is a two way street. My starting position is that I like will someone until they do something to make me adjust my thinking.