Basically just ask for stuff you don't want to distract from what you do want. Make a bigger deal about the stuff you don't want and let them take it from you so you make them think they won. Nice. Shouldn't be a problem seeing as how she already accuses me to try and make me look like I'm the one only wanting my stuff and that I don't care about my kids. So play into their facade just enough to use their own fake reality against them. I read an interesting article titled "The Gullibility of the Narcissist" that kind of explain stuff like this.
You are so right, after 40 years I want out. What questions do I ask a lawyer to make sure they know how to handle a person like this. You are awesome! Thanks for the videos.
Exactly right!! You should know how to gain your confidence and power back, because these people use you as source of narcissistic supply and you don’t wanna let them use you like that. Knowing that we have been able to develop a program helping people achieve that, and get their confidence back, make me love my job to transform people’s lives. DM me for more information!
My narcissist ex won’t ever negotiate... he can’t ever give up anything or compromise. It’s not in his nature. So, if you ask for more than you want, it just shuts down the conversation because he says that’s “crazy” or calls me names. Our conflicts now stem around emancipated kids’ expenses. The only way I can get him to pay 70 - 100% (he’s a surgeon and makes a lot of money...my income is what I get from him), is to flat out tell a kid I’m not paying or I will pay 30% ...I’m not in a position to match him. It puts the kid in the terrible position of fighting it out with their dad and threatening to alienate him. That’s when he eventually caves. I’m hoping he will soon see that I’m never going to match him on these expenses and he’ll soon stop trying.
I feel your pain. My ex is the same way with same economic differences. When extracurricular costs were split 50/50, he would just discourage the kids participation so they wouldn't do them. I was so angry for the boys. When he took me back to mediation, I just said I would pay 100% extracurriculars (however-my lawyer built that amount into overall increase in child support). He thought he won. I did not have any increase in cost (that I couldn't afford) but he stopped discouraging the boys to do these extracurriculars. Yours won't stop trying. I don't think he believes you can match his contribution. I think he likes to highlight that you can't match. Hopefully you can find a work around. Good luck!
Basically, act like the narc!! He did this to me and it did not work....it was at a mediation table!! Mediator picked up on his manipulation and sided with me on every point I made. I guess it will work for others but hard for me to manipulate and act like him.
Oh my god I'm in deep! I knew it I knew SOMETHING WAS GOING ON! I didn't know that they would fake an entire relationship just to have their needs met. I'm just a vessel. Empty n confused 😕
He will always say NO to anything and everything. His battle cry when I left was "you're not getting a penny" so he has given many attorneys all of his $. Plus he's paying me spousal support. After 11 years and he's had 6 attornies we are finally trying to get a trial date.
SAME. After I had a baby, pandemic time, so my unpaid maternity leave became indefinite, after being there a decade. & THAT'S what he did. & he went through with it. He left us with absolutely nothing. They say dont give a man financial power & i agree but there are always situations where you're just STUCK (seemingly, cuz if you get stuck, you were able to wedge in, therefore, you can wedge out; with a lot of struggle, most likely, but gain freedom nonetheless...with scars, aka: strength & wisdom).
Great advice but I’m not really sure how to apply it in my case. My husband is also an addict and I moved to Italy for him before knowing his bad habits. We had a child together... what I really want is to go back home to California with my son. If he was rational he would understand that the difference in visitations wouldn’t be that different because of his work schedule and drug use. I would give him my sons summer break and holidays for visitation but maybe the only way I can get leverage is by getting police involved ? This is a messy one 😫
@@brittanyjones5007 I am going through the same I moved to California before knowing this idiot and we have a child together. I want to go back to my country but I am willing to bring the child over school holiday... I'm so stressed
Well holy cow, I’m a former paralegal and I know all about narcissists from years of research but what I wouldn’t give to have you be our attorney! We are in a very difficult predicament where she definitely abuses the legal system but the legal system is so busy that they are not giving enough discernment to the situation and my husband frequently is reprimanded ride along with her for always ending up back in court. But we are not the ones filing the motions!
Its hard when its your son. Problem is he has my grandson with a crazy partner. I have bribed him before but now im on sick leave. I am the only rational and safe person in my grandsons life.
how to get a narcissist listen to you when your life depends on that narcissist? because " you can't bite the hand that feeds you" but you also can't let someone treat you like a floor-.cloth or enslave you ...
I disagree, you don’t really mean what you said. That tells me you were never a victim of a narcissist. The judge has to decide. You are wrong. Don’t tell people to engage with a narcissist. No contact is the only way. That how many women died for this type of comments. Narcissist are dangerous when they feel they loose. No contact and let the judge decide.
I think you're extremely intelligent and should be paid for your time, but trying to sell me on a $787 program? I am in the fight of my life with a narcissist who has stripped me of everything, stealing my car, freezing my inheritance, making me homeless and I'm disabled. I listened to your webinar and took notes, for over an hour just to be sold something then kicked off for asking for recommendations on where I could go to get some help? Really? State at the beginning you're selling something so that those of us who are fighting without resources can spend their time actually getting the help they need. If I had money to buy my way out of this I would, but thats not the case. Giving people like me false hope is wrong. We don't need false hope or to waste our time when looking to get back our life!! Very dissapointing!!! 😔
I just want the narcissist out of my house. How do I get him out? We are not married. I purchased the house 11 years ago. His name is not on any utilities. The only thing we have together is a truck he conned me into buying and he co-signed. I have told him he can keep it. I just want my name off. I almost wonder if I'm dealing with a sociopath and not just a narcissist but he meets every guideline of a narcissist says all the things of a narcissist.
My ex bought a car on my name but I wasn’t allowed to drive it. I asked him to change it on his name before the divorce. He didn’t want to. So I sold it. I waited for him to go out without the car and I called the company that towed it for me... and voilà! I would do the same with the truck so he starts getting the message, and ALSO I would change the lock of the house, I’d get his stuff out of the house (literally out of your land mark) and I would call the police if he insists on getting inside your house after all that. Get yourself out of HIS life, because he won’t get out from yours. Own experience here 🙋🏻♀️ Ask me if you have questions.
Narcissist and sociopaths are in the same category That's why they're so familiar and they're also in the category with borderline personality disorder
Nothing works against narcissistic personality disorder. My ex wife won't negotiate at all unless she gets the upper hand. After 2 years of CPS involvement she lost the case.
Tell them the opposite of what you want. I want x but really i want z. So i get real upset about x then they really go after x ; which i don't care about. Oh it's terrible that i lost x. Then they think they won. Great example.!
They don't play fair (I agree), but she's taking how they typically think and respond into consideration. She's a lawyer who has dealt with this, so I'm taking every tip I can.
How do or do u relay to the judge that the future is my x and girlfriend is going to be violent to my children even grandchildren by her and him his own children in the divorce
Distract them from what you want and don't make it obvious. Let them think they have you beaten because they are more than willing to win at any cost. Pretend what you want is not the best case scenario., they want to see you suffer and fail.
Mam please be seated I’m a stable position - and please construct your sentences beforehand.I didn’t understand a single line in totality and couldn’t process a single idea of what you spoke.
I just got to head and gut... Second time I fended off, look rb is going back to penetentary tomorrow, I'm going to his p.o. kg is getting SVUa charges filed if it don't end right now, it's bad. I can't rest, cops won't do shit. I left her ultimatum. If that doesn't do it I am going to DSM and strait for her and one of us will die and one will get murder and I said I don't think that's what we want. I have needed help for a long time. What is this solving how sadistic can she be look maybe it's a practice in an office but rbs homade 12v system is fucked, my siding is all screwed up from drilling into house, yes. I shit you not. If you know we're I can get help please or I go Rambo. And I just wanna live in peace.
Want to learn more about how to negotiate powerfully with a narcissist? Join me on my free webinar right here: www.rebeccazung.com/register-now
I can't wait to see you there.
Basically just ask for stuff you don't want to distract from what you do want. Make a bigger deal about the stuff you don't want and let them take it from you so you make them think they won. Nice. Shouldn't be a problem seeing as how she already accuses me to try and make me look like I'm the one only wanting my stuff and that I don't care about my kids. So play into their facade just enough to use their own fake reality against them. I read an interesting article titled "The Gullibility of the Narcissist" that kind of explain stuff like this.
Very interesting! Where can I find this article?
On point will definitely google that article which seems informative.
That was a great read, thanks for sharing!
@@playdough691 It's on a website called Psychology Today.
@@zacharykassner9002 thank you!
You are so right, after 40 years I want out. What questions do I ask a lawyer to make sure they know how to handle a person like this. You are awesome! Thanks for the videos.
Exactly right!! You should know how to gain your confidence and power back, because these people use you as source of narcissistic supply and you don’t wanna let them use you like that. Knowing that we have been able to develop a program helping people achieve that, and get their confidence back, make me love my job to transform people’s lives.
DM me for more information!
My narcissist ex won’t ever negotiate... he can’t ever give up anything or compromise. It’s not in his nature. So, if you ask for more than you want, it just shuts down the conversation because he says that’s “crazy” or calls me names. Our conflicts now stem around emancipated kids’ expenses. The only way I can get him to pay 70 - 100% (he’s a surgeon and makes a lot of money...my income is what I get from him), is to flat out tell a kid I’m not paying or I will pay 30% ...I’m not in a position to match him. It puts the kid in the terrible position of fighting it out with their dad and threatening to alienate him. That’s when he eventually caves. I’m hoping he will soon see that I’m never going to match him on these expenses and he’ll soon stop trying.
I feel your pain. My ex is the same way with same economic differences. When extracurricular costs were split 50/50, he would just discourage the kids participation so they wouldn't do them. I was so angry for the boys. When he took me back to mediation, I just said I would pay 100% extracurriculars (however-my lawyer built that amount into overall increase in child support). He thought he won. I did not have any increase in cost (that I couldn't afford) but he stopped discouraging the boys to do these extracurriculars. Yours won't stop trying. I don't think he believes you can match his contribution. I think he likes to highlight that you can't match. Hopefully you can find a work around. Good luck!
I get, "I'll consider it." End of discussion. He wants nothing but control.
When kids are in school u should go back to college and that well show him that u dont need him..xxxx
Basically, act like the narc!!
He did this to me and it did not work....it was at a mediation table!! Mediator picked up on his manipulation and sided with me on every point I made.
I guess it will work for others but hard for me to manipulate and act like him.
Mediation is not compulsory, and I would have never chosen a female mediator if I were a male myself.
Oh my god I'm in deep! I knew it I knew SOMETHING WAS GOING ON! I didn't know that they would fake an entire relationship just to have their needs met. I'm just a vessel. Empty n confused 😕
Thanks for making a comment.Ive been GOIN THRUUUUU IT.
He will always say NO to anything and everything. His battle cry when I left was "you're not getting a penny" so he has given many attorneys all of his $. Plus he's paying me spousal support. After 11 years and he's had 6 attornies we are finally trying to get a trial date.
@Yusuf Muhammad "get back your ex?" really? that's bananas!
@Yusuf Muhammad Over my cold dead body would I want that a** hole back. 24 years of DV was enough for me son.
SAME. After I had a baby, pandemic time, so my unpaid maternity leave became indefinite, after being there a decade. & THAT'S what he did. & he went through with it. He left us with absolutely nothing. They say dont give a man financial power & i agree but there are always situations where you're just STUCK (seemingly, cuz if you get stuck, you were able to wedge in, therefore, you can wedge out; with a lot of struggle, most likely, but gain freedom nonetheless...with scars, aka: strength & wisdom).
Parasite, get a job not spousal support!
Great advice. This works like a charm!
Great advice but I’m not really sure how to apply it in my case. My husband is also an addict and I moved to Italy for him before knowing his bad habits. We had a child together... what I really want is to go back home to California with my son. If he was rational he would understand that the difference in visitations wouldn’t be that different because of his work schedule and drug use. I would give him my sons summer break and holidays for visitation but maybe the only way I can get leverage is by getting police involved ? This is a messy one 😫
@@brittanyjones5007 I am going through the same I moved to California before knowing this idiot and we have a child together. I want to go back to my country but I am willing to bring the child over school holiday... I'm so stressed
Well holy cow, I’m a former paralegal and I know all about narcissists from years of research but what I wouldn’t give to have you be our attorney!
We are in a very difficult predicament where she definitely abuses the legal system but the legal system is so busy that they are not giving enough discernment to the situation and my husband frequently is reprimanded ride along with her for always ending up back in court. But we are not the ones filing the motions!
Hoping this situation will improve!
You're one smart cookie, Rebecca! Love it!! 😘
People are walking around undiagnosed because I come across people with this disorder all the time
Its hard when its your son. Problem is he has my grandson with a crazy partner. I have bribed him before but now im on sick leave. I am the only rational and safe person in my grandsons life.
Very interesting approach, and it makes total sense. Thank you!
I find myself getting confused when not being 100% honest. How do I stop from getting flustered ...
Ow how i wish this all was available when I divorced my ex in 1981.
how to get a narcissist listen to you when your life depends on that narcissist? because " you can't bite the hand that feeds you" but you also can't let someone treat you like a floor-.cloth or enslave you ...
I disagree, you don’t really mean what you said. That tells me you were never a victim of a narcissist. The judge has to decide. You are wrong. Don’t tell people to engage with a narcissist. No contact is the only way. That how many women died for this type of comments. Narcissist are dangerous when they feel they loose. No contact and let the judge decide.
Yes, i feel that we tend to underestimate the danger
Excellent advice! Thank you!
I think you're extremely intelligent and should be paid for your time, but trying to sell me on a $787 program? I am in the fight of my life with a narcissist who has stripped me of everything, stealing my car, freezing my inheritance, making me homeless and I'm disabled. I listened to your webinar and took notes, for over an hour just to be sold something then kicked off for asking for recommendations on where I could go to get some help? Really? State at the beginning you're selling something so that those of us who are fighting without resources can spend their time actually getting the help they need. If I had money to buy my way out of this I would, but thats not the case. Giving people like me false hope is wrong. We don't need false hope or to waste our time when looking to get back our life!! Very dissapointing!!! 😔
Take responsibility and stop blaming anyone
I just want the narcissist out of my house. How do I get him out? We are not married. I purchased the house 11 years ago. His name is not on any utilities. The only thing we have together is a truck he conned me into buying and he co-signed. I have told him he can keep it. I just want my name off. I almost wonder if I'm dealing with a sociopath and not just a narcissist but he meets every guideline of a narcissist says all the things of a narcissist.
My ex bought a car on my name but I wasn’t allowed to drive it. I asked him to change it on his name before the divorce. He didn’t want to. So I sold it. I waited for him to go out without the car and I called the company that towed it for me... and voilà! I would do the same with the truck so he starts getting the message, and ALSO I would change the lock of the house, I’d get his stuff out of the house (literally out of your land mark) and I would call the police if he insists on getting inside your house after all that. Get yourself out of HIS life, because he won’t get out from yours. Own experience here 🙋🏻♀️ Ask me if you have questions.
Narcissist and sociopaths are in the same category That's why they're so familiar and they're also in the category with borderline personality disorder
Nothing works against narcissistic personality disorder. My ex wife won't negotiate at all unless she gets the upper hand. After 2 years of CPS involvement she lost the case.
That's awesome advice! Thank you!
Awesome advice Rebecca! Thanks so much.
Tell them the opposite of what you want. I want x but really i want z. So i get real upset about x then they really go after x ; which i don't care about. Oh it's terrible that i lost x. Then they think they won. Great example.!
Negotiating this way is not worth it. The narcissist will always win one way or another. They don't play fair
They don't play fair (I agree), but she's taking how they typically think and respond into consideration. She's a lawyer who has dealt with this, so I'm taking every tip I can.
How do or do u relay to the judge that the future is my x and girlfriend is going to be violent to my children even grandchildren by her and him his own children in the divorce
Can you help me with my probate case against my narc sister?
So if I want more time with my daughter I have to pretend I don’t want as much time ??🤔
And thats scary bc what if that call ur bluff 💔
Good question! I’m dealing with the same thing right now.
and for contestant number...??? TELL ER WAT SHE WON BoB! It's a brand new Niiightmaaaare!!
Thank you, your advise is amazing
What if they just want to make you pay for leaving them haha. About to go into mediation on parenting plans...
Same 🙄
Very interesting thanknyou from Greece
Thank you so much!🙌
Ok, THIS is helpful!!!
Good advice
Thank you!!!
Nope, them not negotiate, my way or highway
You in Chicago?
how do you recognize a narcissist? he has to win ...
This is genius
What if the only thing they want is to mess with me?
Distract them from what you want and don't make it obvious. Let them think they have you beaten because they are more than willing to win at any cost. Pretend what you want is not the best case scenario., they want to see you suffer and fail.
Meryl Streep hahaha! You rock!
I don't give them any power, let alone mine, I get what I want from them,no because.
Didn't get anything
I sound like a mad man but I swear this and more is happening and Greer beaver is only half the battle
Mam please be seated I’m a stable position - and please construct your sentences beforehand.I didn’t understand a single line in totality and couldn’t process a single idea of what you spoke.
Hahaha love this! :)
you really did not make a clear point here
She said, 1) create leverage. 2) Start the bidding high. 3) Give in on non-essentials. 4) Let them think they have beaten you.
Yes
None of your hours fit my schdual of workshop
I just got to head and gut... Second time I fended off, look rb is going back to penetentary tomorrow, I'm going to his p.o. kg is getting SVUa charges filed if it don't end right now, it's bad. I can't rest, cops won't do shit. I left her ultimatum. If that doesn't do it I am going to DSM and strait for her and one of us will die and one will get murder and I said I don't think that's what we want. I have needed help for a long time. What is this solving how sadistic can she be look maybe it's a practice in an office but rbs homade 12v system is fucked, my siding is all screwed up from drilling into house, yes. I shit you not. If you know we're I can get help please or I go Rambo. And I just wanna live in peace.
sooo......lie.
May I suggest not sitting in a swivel seat as your body movements distracts from you message 🐇
You’re welcome. Over the years I’ve worked in a wide range of occupations, such as negotiations and crisis management 🐇