Disgusting Situation in BJJ (Dad told his son to F^%K me Up!)
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- Опубликовано: 17 окт 2024
- I don't even know what to say about the situation in this video. Our friend, T, sent in a message about a training session recently in his class. He said that while he was rolling with a young teenager. The teenager's father screamed out "fuck him up" during the roll.
When I read this message my instant reaction was. . . no way . . . this didn't happen. But I've received several messages similar to this through the videos.
I've also experienced a few situations where things like this have happened.
1 such situation was when I was at a BJJ tournament and a father told his son, "Don't you fucking tap."
It's just disgusting. It really is. . . this is a disgusting situation that has no place in Brazilian Jiu-jitsu.
The weirdest thing about the situation that came from our friend's question was that the father is a purple belt n BJJ. I find this so bizarre because most people who actually do Brazilian Jiujitsu know the struggle and understand how hard it is and in turn they are usually very supportive and encouraging rather than negative.
I also share what I think the White Belt who asked this question should do. I don't know how helpful it will be to anyone. But maybe it's informative in some way.
Thanks!
-Chewy
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The dad is living through the kid. Seen this too many times, such a shame. Let kids be kids
You beat me to it.
Eric D I wouldn’t say that he is living through his kid since he is a purple belt.
I think that dad has missed the whole point of Martial arts.
Beat me to it!
Reminds me of when I was in cobra Kai karate out in California in the late 80s. I had this really dirty coach. He keep encouraging me to sweep the leg on this Daniel LaRusso kid from the east coast. I knew I would be disqualified but did it anyway. That Dan kid did manage to come back and win the whole thing. His coach had it out with mine in the parking lot later that day.
The instructor should be the one to call out the purple belt jerk
The instructor should demote the purple belt dad to blue belt
100%. Since that wasn't what happened I'd have some serious questions about staying at that gym. That should not be acceptable behaviour in any martial art/combat sport gym.
Sounds like my old man, I feel for the kid. I still remember the day our goalie didn't show up for my kid roller hockey league, I took one for the team and suited up so the game would still play, he looked me dead in the eye and said "Don't embarrass me."
What a piece of shit lol
lefu
now that's a great idea
pfft I'd look at him and say I'm not here for your fucking approval or disapproval. Cease to care what people think.
Jacob Holsinger you're dad is a coward, I'm sorry. I'd never say that to my son.
Joe Roberts lol that's a smart thing for a child to say to his father. you some kind of idiot?
Danny C Leung I'm so sure you would have said that to your father as a child. you obviously don't remember your childhood. i bet when your dad tried to ground you, you just took his back and choked him out right? Get out of here with that wanna be tough guy shit
My son was a varsity wrestler, I always told my son, I love him and I'm proud of him win or lose. My son won 60 to 80% of his matches. Alot of that was dependent on his mental state. I always wanted him to do his best and enjoy his experience. His coaches were assholes and they were really immature and tough on the kids and my son was tough on himself. I taught him judo and we talked about his wrestling skills all the time and his practices. Bottom line, a father has to be positive and put the love for his son over all things. None of us win or lose all the time. Not tapping and risk getting injured is pretty stupid.
You sound like a great father.
@Jay Lee r
I quit team sports because of parents and coaches. It is sad that this is happening in Jiu-jitsu.
I remember watching a high school bball game (one of the youths I work with was playing and asked me to attend). The ref made what one parent, seated beside me, thought was a bad call against her kid and that parent began BOOING! the coach. I softly mentioned "Hey, just let them play..." She turned to me and said "You don't have any kids. You don't know what it's like to be a parent!" to which a friend sitting with me, also a parent, agreed. I remained quiet, but thought "No, I'm not a parent, but I remember being a kid...and if my parents did anything like that while I was playing, I'd feel embarrassed." Come to find out, that kid was embarrassed by his parent's actions. On the other hand, I remember watching my nephew in his martial arts class. I overheard a parent tell his son "Listen to what you're taught, but just have fun out there!"
I quit coaching for the same reason. Now I just tell my sons " You don't have to win, you don't have to be the best, all I want is for you to give it your best and have fun.".
This is where you say, you don't know what it's like to be a parent either, because you're failing at it.
100% true. I played soccer for 10 years. I quit because it got really demotivating when all of the kids got too competitive as a RESULT of self obsessed coaches and parents.
Leevi ummm soccer is a competition so if your not playing hard don't waste the spot for somebody else..you were intimidated by the other players
I picture the purple belt dad losing his belt. Inexcusable, not befitting a martial artist.
Yup strip that belt from under him! What a joke! Amazing someone with as much experience as it takes to achieve a purple belt would ever act in such a manor.
whats stripping the belt gonna do, he can still fuck people up lmao
@@wasupgaming shame him
Remy shouldnt allow him to train,your 100% right,if he has the skill of a purple belt there’s no point in stripping him.warn him first,and if he continues,dont allow him to train.
I dont know about you but I picture the leader of the kobra kai.
hahaha!!!
Ben Harris sweep the leg johnny!!!
NO MERCY!!!
Strike fast strike hard no mercy !!!!
Thats BJJ.
My first coach was like this with his kids.
I left that gym after 3 years. Wish I had done so sooner.
My next Coach was the bee's knees and cared for all his students equally. I didn't realize what a healthy gym was until I changed.
You don't need to have loyalty to a sick environment.
Amen
That last sentence is powerful.
Did you just say the bees knees 😂
Same here buddy.
that's why I forbid parents in the room during class time
You shouldn't do that in my opinion. Kid parent need to respect the gym and you as a professor/coach. This can never happen in our gym. We have kid classes and my oldest daughter (9 years old) trains there with me. If anyone said something similar to some kid or anyone else in the terms fucking someone up, or hurting someone on purpose we would be all over that person, and most likely they would get a warning and next time they would get thrown out. Our coaches always put safety first, and team spirit.
There is a small "pre room" where they can watch, but the kids can't really listen.
Pedro Vilella BJJ yeah most places have a waiting area with glass where parents can look bit not intrude now, too many helicopter parents
Stupid. Just as much abuse from coaches in all sports. I would never leave my kids alone with a coach who has this policy. Screams sicko.
bigdaddyfilmmaker did you read the part about there being a waiting room where you can spectate but not intrude?
sounds like what happened to me in a national karate tournament
I had quite the hatred for my opponent because of past incidents but I wouldn't wish pain upon him at all
as we were gearing up for the final of the tournament I came up against none other than him as we were preparing to square off I heard on of his team mates scream "put him in a body bag" I felt really uncomfortable but I still won the match with an illegal crane kick to the face.
Lmao nice one bro
Underrated comment
Got any stories from Okinawa by any chance?
You basically ended up no better than the bully since with Martial Arts the first rule is Martial Arts is only for Defense not Offense.
@@jameswalton6551 Guess you haven't watched "Karate Kid", eh?
Man, that scenario you described with the dad slapping the kid on the head is messed up.
You should've done a flying armbar on that Grandpa.
Buddy Love donkey guard rather
That guy would have been getting tornado kicked in the teeth and a elbow drop to the nuts
Lmao! I want to see that so bad! Chewie vs Bad Grandpa UFC 234! Lets make it happen, folks!
He thinks he's doing right, that's the problem right there. I doubt he wakes up in the morning wanting to abuse him for no reason. He thinks this is the best way to push him to get good.
Muay Thai flying elbow to the forehead
Next time that purple rolls with a Brown/Black "Fuck him up!"
The story you talked about happened before with me too. I was at a wrestling tournament and some fucking grown man was yelling at his daughter, couldn’t be more than 6 years old. I saw him leave the girl to cry and it broke my heart. I guess she had just lost and he was pissed, as if she could’ve done any better. A lot of people were there and no one chose to intervene or even comfort the girl. Even me, I wanted to walk over and buy her some food and talk, but instead I let my girl and my doubt keep me from doing it. Too many people “live” through their kids, perverting their hobbies and talents for their own gain. It’s disgusting and I’ll be damned if I see that and do nothing again.
Can't even imagine this happening at my gym (with Mario Sperry and Pedro Loffredi). Every part of that on every level wouldn't fly. I know it's an old vid, but damn you seem to have a video for every question I've had and many I don't yet have. You're a class act my dude, much much Repect, Osss.
As a BJJ practitioner. Sadly I've seen this at the gym I train at. Dads telling kids to fuck or mess the kid up. Then see them literally yell at their kids because they lost. I had a dad claim to my trainers he's a brown belt. Well I'm a legit black belt so my coaches conned the dad into teaching me a lesson. By telling him I was a cocky arrogant white belt who needs a lesson..long story short he had no idea what he was doing his kid knew more than him. I had fun slapping him up while rolling talking mad shit. Telling him to fuck me up. If your brown belt you wouldn't be getting fucked up. Then I put him in a calf slicer barely any pressure he gives up. He admitted he lied. He still thought I was advanced white belt. The memory still sticks out to this day. He's a shitty dad. Luckily the kids mom divorced him and continued having her kid train with no pressure
Grizzy 77 good for the kid, that dad could ruin the kid's mind
This sounds like a fake story, but it was good.
DottierDig 95 I feel you, I get that vibe when I go on reddit. Like, come on dude, your life is that pathetic you need to make up stories to anonymous people on the internet. Haha, I want to believe this guy though.
Cool story, you’ve never done BJJ
Dan Robert cool opinion. Keep trolling, trolling. I'll accept your pathetic you try to insult me to get attention. I'll gladly fly you to my gym to prove you wrong. Catch is if I prove you wrong I post it on social media, you pay the money it took get you to my gym.
This happened to me when I was young and starting out. I was 15ish when I started and I got put in the kids class for like 6 months to learn. Towards the end of the 6 months I got put with the multi-striped orange belt kids. A purple belt dad told his kid to "fuck me up""this kid isn't shit" plus some other mean things. I fought my ass off and got caught toward the end of the roll. His dad was praising him and shitting on me. Told me you think your strong, watch when your in adult class. He talked shit for awhile. Even told me I wasn't gonna win a tournament, which I did! This was years ago and that guy changed and that kid is a stud but damn.
Employing good negotiation tactics, in an emotionally detached tone, ask the PB Dad a question that elicits a "No" response. "Do you really want him to F*** me up?" SURELY he would give you a "No". Then, if it were me, I would add - "Because I have a wife and 3 kids to provide for and need to know whether or not to bow out of this roll".
Whereupon he'll just laugh in your face and proceed to punch your head for 5 minutes.
David Wells I like it. Passive yet thought provoking for the overly aggresive dad.
Thats when he comes back with a gun, to make an example of daddy...
I like that response. Especially the ‘whether or not I should bow out of this roll’ part. It lets the dad know that this isn’t a kumite death match. It’s just a friendly roll in a gym and makes the “fuck him up” comment seem even more ridiculous.
Toxic training environments don't help anyone. Only thing I'd say about calling out a parent, is maybe to do it away from the kid- parents can get weird in front of their kids sometimes, and we don't know what that kid has to go home to. Love the wisdom you share chew!
You're awesome Chewy! Wish I had a cool place like yours to train where I'm at.
Great post and great advise as usual; thank you. My kids are just shy of a year into BJJ and absolutely loving it. Matter of fact all the kids in the class do and can't wait to roll during the classes, (win or lose). Their sensei is amazing with them and even better with the parents. I could not imagine that happening during a class they attend. They recently attended a NAGA Tournament and had a great day, but the one bad spot on the day was a school well south of us came up and competed with all brand new white belts. Oddly, they were all destroying kids in every single fight. It was clear 10 sec's into my youngest's first fight the kid he was against was not a brand new zero stripe white belt. More than likely he was a green belt watching him through out the day. All the kids from that school were similar in capability and style, yet they all were zero - 2 stripe white belts. It was clear they were stacking their fights for wins and a prize purse for the school. How sad is it that another instructor would do that and only teach all 10 of those kids that day it is perfectly ok to cheat.
This happen up here in Canada with hockey parents. It’s brutal. I’ve had to ban parents out of the rink during games and practice just so kids can have fun.
Working with kids is great. Parents are the worst
I am a kid at a BJJ gym, and their is one mom who has a pressuring her kid intensely, and even encourages her kid to cheat. On my second week at jiu jitsu I submitted her in a rear naked choke (she is a bad blue belt) and her mom yelled at her outside about her loss, and the next day I had her in a arm bar and she bit my leg, I screamed and the instructor had us start over, again I got an armbar and she scratched me so hard I started to bleed, I stopped rolling with her and got a different partner. Then when class ends her mom starts congratulating the daughter
Out of curiosity, did you tell the girl why you stopped training with her? I feel like that's an important thing to do. Hey, I'm not training with you because you're doing . It gives them the opportunity to self-correct. If they don't, they'll know why people don't train with them anymore. I would also talk to the coach about the girl's behaviour AND what the mother is saying.
That's sad. My son went to State's for weightlifting on his high school team and placed 11th out of a large group in his class range. He was upset and mad that he didn't place better. He was nervous and made some mistakes. I said " Are you kidding? Look at where you are. You know how many kids wanted to be here? You did great and it was a fun experience you will never forget. Good job son!" I gave him him a big hug and congratulated him some more. Let a kid be a kid. I created memories, not bitterness, and built an even stronger bond between us.
That is both sad and very weird. Whenever I'm rolling, or even in fight sim classes, I'm smiling and having fun. We aren't here to hurt each other. We're here to have fun and learn. I haven't had anything like this happen to me, hope it stays that way.
I would like to State first that I am not at practitioner of BBJ. I, however respect all forms of martial arts, and the spirit in which the competitive format is placed. I absolutely love this video. What you just said actually mirrored my experience with kickboxing and Kung Fu when I was a child. My father, pushed me and told me to fuck people up and it really jaded my experience. I chose not to speak with my father anymore. And that's kind of like finding a new gym. Bottom line: that is exactly what you do in that situation we're not here to knock each other down, we are here to build each other up. If we can't do that as a society even in the smallest aspects, it's going to be hard to keep moving on. I mean as a species. Thanks again and keep them coming
Some parents are bad news. Same thing happens at underage tennis games that mean nothing.. and soccer too I guess.. kinda hard to interject though especially as parents may get weirdly aggressive
Hanoi Tripper Its because the parent/s are failed athletes living through the kids
Hanoi Tripper or just failures in general
I have never trained Bjj in my life but you are a super good dude and I love watching your videos!! Keep up the great advice.
Disappointing people act that way. Unfortunately not much surprises me anymore
Respect, self control, and solidarity are key foundations of any proper martial arts school. If I see a high ranking belt talking like that in any Dojo I see it as a reflection on the instructor. Normal people don't go train to get injured or to look for fights, if someone causes trouble he should be kicked out or disciplined. the worst thing though is parents like that have a very bad effect on their children.
Do be careful, for if you diminish the status and power of the dad, who knows what'll happen to the kid. A public call out is satisfying, but if he's as much of a bully as he sounds, he may take it out on someone smaller and in proximity, namely, his kid.
Well that´s still a better option then to let this strange situation continue, who knows? the kid might even manage to break free from that unhealthy relationship given that he sees that society condemns his dad´s behaviour.
The kid is fucked anyway, you can't protect the kid without attacking the dad.
Well if I see that poor kid bruised up the next day and I see the dad too I will take the dad outside and have my way with him. If you abuse your child um several things. 1 you're a piece of crap 2. you should be a dad. Ever and 3. I will make sure something bad happens to you
Sad to hear that this happened T. Just like Chewy said the instructors and/or Sensi should be the one saying something to that parent or even if he is a student too! I seen this take place too and the kids at are the ones that suffer in the end! My best to you T!!
My only issue with your advice is that, for the sake of the kid, the conversation with the dad should be kept private. No kid wants to see their parents be chastised. Especially in front of the class.
Monster RAM that's not really your place and of course if it's physical it's different
Nah, 'cuz the talk actually isn't going to change an asshole like that. What the kid needs to see is that the rest of the world doesn't think his dad's OK for being such a prick. It's the kid that needs to learn the lesson not to be like his dad, and you can bet that a dad like that won't pass that on to his kid if the talk is private. He'll just tell you to go to hell, that it's his kid and he will raise him HIS way.
Monster Ram, embarrass the father in front of everyone so that way he takes it out on his son in private?
I really appreciate this video, my son has been doing Taekwondo for about a year and it's hard to know the right etiquette since I didn't do martial arts as a kid. I completely agree with your approach, it's all about having fun, just nice to hear that advice from someone who knows what they're talking about.
This got my sub. Kind of a kindred spirit here because I cannot stand ppl getting “picked on” even if it’s your own son. I mean, this is a crazy story.
One weird situation, nice words of wisdom though.
Just started out with BJJ, but have to say that i really dig your mentality and ethos...great sound advice! Keep up the great work! You have a new subscriber :)
People with attitudes like that father, should not be trained in martial arts!..
"Mutual welfare and benefit" - Jigoro Kano
This is why i took my children out of football (soccer). Every dad & mum thinks their kid is Messi and they're a professional manager. Horrible. And what you said is true, the Kids change! Before when they'd go it was about kicking a ball about with their friends, joking and rolling on the grass doing silly things. Then it became so serious, the kids didn't 'play' anymore, they appeared too scared to do anything as they became like robots waiting for instructions.. The only way the parents were happy was if the kid won the game, regardless of if they kid even played well or hardly touched the ball. So sad... kids sports these days are truly fucked.
Totally agree with you, man. Those things shouldn't happen on the mats. Not even with adults. Pay a shrink, don't pass your freakin insecurities to your children
I like what you said in your video, how we are there to build each other up and not tear each other down. With my students I always tell them that when they are sparring, rolling, or drilling techniques in class, their goal isn't to "win" but to make the other person better so, in turn, they make you better. Are motto comes from Proverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, so does one person sharpen another"
This made me think of a specific parent at my gym. He stands on the sidelines of the kids' class and aggressively coaches his son (yells shit) every time he rolls. However, dad himself does NOT train with us, in any class, at any level. Drives me insane.
Does the dad yell empty nonsense like what most parents yell at most youth sporting events like "go get 'em Randy!", or "get after the ball!", or other generic but largely useless stuff? Or does he at least yell jiujitsu-ish things?
In my Taekwondo school, if there's anyone that I have a really good rapport with, when I see them sparring, I'll tell the OTHER person to get them good. But that's just good-natured teasing.
This is the exact opposite of that.
Love your channel bro. So much knowledge and experience. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you. Seriously. Integrity is standing up for the kids, and for students that are lower in rank!
Wow. Our American society is too competitive. It takes the fun out of sports and hobbies. We as a society stress ourselves for no reason than too stroke the ego.
Martial Lashley true but often competition leads to innovation. A balanced amount of competition is great.
Martial Lashley that capitalism mentality! haha. I do think it's what makes us the best. but training is training and competition is separate from that, you need different mentalities. competitiveness is good as long as it's balanced with fun. just my opinion
Agreed Martial. I spent years of my life devoting way too much time and energy to sports, rather than academics, because it was clear to me when young that my town gave the most respect to athletes. While I enjoyed playing for fun, I would never be a professional athlete, and wish I had the support and encouragement instead for academics (to which I was naturally more inclined).
Happens in the UK too with Football/Soccer it's known to be a real problem
CluedUp? Y'all got me fucked up, wtf is the point of a firm lmao dumb as hell
I would definitely contact the coach as you stated. Any martial arts is to learn and to encourage each brother/sister in the art to improve each other. Folks with that mentality will end someone's mental and physical well being quick. Those types need to be kicked out cause that attitude carriers out I the real world.
The example you gave with parents trying to coach their kids is exactly why the school I go to has a strict no coaching policy
Even the tournaments they hold, you are not allowed to coach.
The kids are getting very good but have so much fun doing it
Similar to the example you gave, I was at an amateur mma competition here in Ireland and kid around maybe 15/16 got his arm broken. The coach spoke to the father apologising for something like that happening at a comp made for everyone to get some fun experience in the sport and the father replied with "well, at least he didnt tap" needless to say the kid got a few months of a ban after his arm healed as the coach didnt want the bullshit macho attitude being condoned in his gym hope the underlying issue was also involved combat sports dont have room for such ideas and attitudes its too dangerous
Really like your videos sir! Always insightful and some good topics up for debate. In this case like you highlighted it’s not a normal community based behaviour to want to fck anyone up. Your training team and your club are more than just yourself, they should represent a family that respect for your skills and practice reflect good people. I think calling this guys motivations out is a good idea but in possibly a non confrontational way, we all know beating the bully isn’t done by beating the bully, it’s more about understanding the bully and letting them tell their story of why they feel they have to fight against people who are potentially their friends. My gut instinct is to look to the higher belts, a lower belt challenge maybe what this purple belt wants, a chance to vent his anger. I normally find the most aggressive people are the most insecure but I try not to judge them as we are all capable of certain degrees of the same behaviours just at lesser and non offensive levels. Thanks again for a great video... kind regards and merry xmas 👊🏽👍🏽🙏🏽 osss!
75 people disliked this video. Lol. Baffles my mind sometimes what people will dislike. Is it just that they're bitter and need everyone else to be just as miserable as they are? They aren't strong enough to build others up so they choose to tear them down instead. Always easier to destroy than create.
Hopefully none of those 75 actually train - can only imagine what terrible partners they'd make.
Thanks Chewy for all the great videos!
Me wrestling at 10 years old, brings back thoughs memories. As far BJJ, where ever I trained it was all about respect and the ones who didn't show respect, would get beat bad and never came back. Nothing humbles you more then being tapped and having no clue how a person could do that to you. Show respect, but do not mistake kindness for weakness.
Humility is one of my favorite virtues in the code of chivalry. I hold it 2nd to prowess. Without humility, someone with to much prowess becomes a bully, or tyrant.
Do you watch Jordan Peterson by chance
In situations like that, the coachs/professors should step forward and give guidance and advices.
Tonight I was on top of side control about to move to n/s and I look up and see the guys little daughter watching. I immediately pulled him on top of me and let him stay in control. I feel better about that then if I had tapped out the instructor
C M thats nice af
Hey thanks man
U've done a manly thing. As a fighter, man and dad i admire your deed.
Archie Bunker it’s people like you that ruin nice things...
I see you were just trying to do the right thing but you can't do stuff like that man. That guy has to learn that if he makes those same mistakes he made to allow you side control, in the real world, then that would be it. If he brought his daughter so be it. Don't want that guy out in the world, with someone in side control, waiting for them to throw him on top of themselves. Gotta follow through with n/s and then after you show him what he could've done to defend against that.
At my first karate tournament, I got to the white belt final, but was completely exhausted emotionally. Just wanted to go home. My opponent was an older guy from our dojo that I had sparred with before, and I was just going through the motions when I heard someone up in the bleachers yell "Kick his ass, Bill!" Completely woke me up. I thought "Oh hell no. I'm winning this match". And I did. Popped a blood vessel in my forearm blocking a punch, but got the win. Assholes in the peanut gallery are great motivators.
Put that man in a arm bar and tell him he can't tap out . What why do people get like this ? People just so stupid in the last 10 yrs
get away.
That is a bad scene.
If I was the instructor, I would ask the dad to the side, and say.
"Hey look man I know this is youre kid, but this is my place and here we train with honor and respect for one another"
Got a dad like that in our gym. Whenever the dad isn’t around. The kid is a normal smiling great training partner. When his dad is around. No smiles. Dad even shakes his head in disappointment when his son messes up.
CHEWY your such a good dude man. Really happy I subscribed 🙂😎
I got a question ...i'm a bjj practitioner , most of my training partners go to tournaments and i'm not , i'm just not interested in competition and the point is :
It is necessary or obligatory to compete ???
My instructor has a viewing area by the entrance of the gym, decently sized, plenty of room for people to sit and stand and not have anyone's view blocked. The front of the viewing area is closed off with glass to keep parents from interacting and acts as a sound buffer as everyone is mostly talking to each other. It's very much a family environment. He also has a policy that if you seemingly purposely hurt someone, or encourage someone to hurt another student, you get to roll with him, 5 minutes, 100% effort.
I have a question about sideline coaching in general should it be done or should you wait until after the roll Lake can you call out spots two people or is that frowned upon?
Best bet is to ask your instructor - some want it, some don't. As a general rule of thumb, the more traditional a dojo the less they are likely to want you to coach other students. That said, my JuJitsu instructor is one of the most traditional senseis I've trained under and he encourages us to tell each other any time we spot something - even if it means a lower grade is advising a higher grade - so it really depends on the instructor.
From my experience in martial arts over about 15 years.... the best thing is to not say anything while the person is actively sparring and rolling and then once it finishes, then bring up anything you may have seen them do wrong or right. While they're actively sparring, trying to talk to them takes the attention off of the match usually. this is just from my own experience, though.
Thats ridiculous! My coach is always pushing us and telling us to get after each other, but thats all to build us up and make us better grapplers! There is no good reason for any bad vibes in the studio.
Hi Prof Chewy... Love your videos. Question- I am Sid from India. I started training pretty much in isolation we set up our school in 2013 Jan since there were no blue belt or higher ranks in India but we needed to start somewhere. I sort of became a prof from day one as a gym owner. Fast Forward to today we even have black belt on board and Im a purple belt. My question is I have never hidden any techniques from my students. I show everything that I know to all my students especially when they ask. However I noticed as I started travelling and training at other academies internationally that the some higher belts would not share techniques even if you asked them politely. Some smile n walk away, some say u will figure it out n some say they want to keep something to themselves. Am I wrong in sharing everything I know with my students or should I hold something back for my own success. I don't feel its right though to hold back.
At a local Kids BJJ tournament my daughter was in, I overheard a father say to maybe an 8 year: "Remember, nobody is your friend. KILL KILL KILL". I couldn't believe it.
That's really a cruel thing to do with a kid.
I'm dealing with an almost identical situation at my gym except it's a father and daughter. He is constantly gassing her up loudly during rolling, and mocking people whenever she submits them. It's actually extremely upsetting but the coach doesn't seem to have a problem with it, in fact it seems like he has a special relationship with this father and daughter as they're his "star pupils"
I had a brown belt talk down to me, I called him on it.
1. Belt colour doesn't mean as much in a real fight.
2. Don't think that every time you voice your opinion it will lead to a fight. In most cases, you can always walk away, or choose not to roll with the guy in future. Speak your mind, then go. YOU DON'T NEED TO FIGHT ONCE YOU MADE YOUR OPINIONS KNOWN.
I'm lucky enough that my dad was a blue belt in wado-ryu, did boxing, and did wrestling so he knows what martial arts are about. Now I'm doing Muay Thai, (no-gi and gi) BJJ and a specifically MMA class
You have the correct attidude towards graplling my friend👍
My name is Jack. Im 27 and just getting back into jits after like a 7 year break. I was tapping mid mid-level blue belts before I left the gym. But I lost most of my skills due to time. My question is, how will i get all that back? And can i do it quickly?
That’s horrible, I hope the kid is okay
Drama like this makes students avoid rolling with kids and women. Had a guy do that with me and his kid once. His nonsense continued in the parking lot. When he threatened my wife a switch in my head went off and sadly I became angry and stopped trying to diffuse the situation. I still feel bad about it because I wonder if by pulling that guys man card if I indirectly instigated him a abusing his child. The rest of the month the kids attitude changed and at the end he stopped coming to class. From I could tell from the schools myspace and word of mouth (I'm old and this was ages ago) the kid eventually moved in with his grandparents and about half a year later was having fun at a rival school a few towns away so hopefully things worked out for him. When rolling, your basically playing a game of simulated I kill you, you kill me. Every tap is simulating dying or going to the hospital. So you need to be able to trust your fellow students.
6 years ago, I herniated a disc in my neck during an Hikido tournament. I used to do Karate, Taekwondo, Brazilian Jui Jitsu, Hikido. I was in a tournament, and I heard a snap in my neck. i started to have numbness in my arms, I started having pain in my neck and headaches. I went to the doctors and they told me that my C4 & C5 vertabraes had ruptured part of the disc in my neck, and caused nerve damage and the tendons were damaged. i took 7 months off in 2012 to heal my body. In September 2012 i started doing PT and went back to it again, I was in pain every day and my body was hurting and was breaking, I was battling depression and suicidal thoughts around this time, and prescription pills abuse. I have had 7 concussions in 6 years, and in 2013 i was having dizziness, and numbness in my arms. in 2016 i was having memory loss and headaches and i was always in pain and my body hurts. doctors have said that i still have nerve damage and my neck will cause me to be in severe pain, they have said eventually they will have to cut open and probably fix the herniated disc. my body went through a lot of pain but if I could do it again I would not hestitate. sorry if this is kind of random and all over the place but I really like your channel and enjoy your genuine attitude, so keep it up bro.
Bravo for posting this!
I have a question. Some of my joints are double jointed so normal arm bars do not work on me but my elbow will pop ( not in a painful way but just like if you popped your hands) and then my arm becomes more flexible but it freaks out everyone I roll with especially the younger ranks because they think it hurt me or something. Should I just tell them before we roll about it or what should I do? Because when I happens they just like stop
Just an opinion from a fellow practitioner (not sure if there is a 'right' answer) - I'd say it's good to let them know and make clear that if you're in trouble you will tap, and if you don't tap then you're ok. They're (most likely) stopping because they don't want to hurt a training partner, which is a generally good attitude... Also, it'll be to their benefit if they ever come up against someone like you in a real situation - they'll realize that not every attacker is defeated just because their arm has gone past the usual angle.
Dan Pearman yes that's a good point. My joints pop all the time even when I'm doing simple everyday tasks that don't involve fighting. Even my previous instructor would stop everytime my elbow would pop when he was trying to arm bar me and it was very frustrating
Right on. Where's the head coach. Back in the old Karate days there where some dojos that where nothing more than gang hang outs. Fighting styles have change. Unfortunately, people haven't.
The same thing happened to me today.... The kid was a 'maxed out' yellow belt and he popped my elbow. His father is a purple belt and he just got surgery on his elbow... This kid was rolling hard with me in general. His father was watching the whole time almost in approval. I was playing my defensive game and he was just being a dick overall with finger pulling and even messing with my hair (as Im female I have a lot of it). This kid rips an americana on me. I didn't even have a chance to tap because of how fast it was. I am just mad that the kid and father left as soon as possible after that and didn't even utter a word to me even after I told him he hurt me and that I can't roll with him any longer.
Kana Evans never roll with anyone you aren’t comfortable with. To hell with that guy.
:c
Advice - stop rolling with assholes as soon as they prove that they are assholes. Like immediately. I don't mean people that smother you or make you uncomfortable. I mean people who are purposely doing shitty things during a gym roll. Absolutely nothing good can come from rolling with someone who is willing to break or jack up your fingers during a gym roll. You will regret having to pay for surgery and being off the mats and missing paychecks much more than you will regret looking like a wimp to an asshole kid and his shithead father.
That said, how the hell did he pop your elbow with an americana?
The one thing I'm trying to teach my son is humility. Treat people with respect and be kind . I personally would of told the dad that we do not speak like that in my gym and if he had a problem with that, he could go somewhere else to train.
You nailed this one chewie.
Great video; I really like these videos in addition to the instructionals. Glad to see you are doing so well too! Damn! 50 K subscribers!
MAKE HIS KNUCKLES BLEED!!!
You have good videos I enjoyed this one... Way to handle Grandad, as well.
I’ve seen the same thing at a national tournament where I competed too. The dad was yelling at his crying kid for forgetting how to lock the triangle. I lost my match myself but my coach didn’t even tell me anything to discourage me, let alone yell my head off for tapping out to a reverse armbar from a cage fighter.
My wife sits by the side of the mat during tournaments yelling, "get 'em down, hold 'em down" which is about the extent of her "enthusiasm". She doesn't want him getting hurt, wants him to have fun but be his best. What this dad did is nothing short of what has been happening in hockey rinks and soccer fields - parents who think their child is the best and want the other child hurt so they can PROVE their child is to be feared or is the best, when the opposite is true. The child has a piece of trash for a parent and I feel sorry for the kid.
the first time I cursed rolling my instructor heard me and said not to do it again or I can train somewhere else because its a family environment. its about RESPECT on and off the mat. Training in Jiu Jitsu comes me down and all my stress is gone.
Not only for all the reasons that Chewjitsu said. Also the fact that nobody should be yelling swear-words on the mat.
Adults can cuss casually and quietly at the club.
A parent yelling swear words at the mat with kids present is making me find another club.
so much respect for you chewy
I was waiting to see when he asked where the coach was. That sort of BS should never happen in a dojo, school, or gym. There is a way to push, and that ain't it.
Love ur vids bro , what’s ur intro song btw?
Sadly I see this crap at my 10yr. old son's wrestling matches. Thankfully we have a good program and address this early with parents of our club. There is something seriously wrong with parents who put that kind of pressure on the kids.
Great segment 👍
To call them out might help watching few tricks from clinical psychology
I can't stand people that act like class is the place to let your ego fly. It happens, but humble yourself, and win together.
I think I've met a lot of nice Purple belts. That's weird.
Agreed. I never met a purple belt that still maintained this weird mindset about training.
I've been there. We were doing kick boxing and I was showing this new kid a Front kick and side kick then our coach wanted us to light spar. His dad was all nice at first but then the kid lost it. Dropped his guard 2 seconds in after I threw a faint to see how he'd react. He started trying to pound my ribs and kick my nuts. His dad cheered him. Now we're all for contact. Full contact kung fu, kickboxing and boxing. But this kid had no idea what he was doing. Long story short I smiled and went with it but went 5% to show him that if he puts forces somewhere he should expect some back. Then he went for a tackle so I ippon seoi- jk. I just moved to my left and pushed him aside asking him if he wanted to learn kick boxing or wrestling? He wouldn't listen to my tips either, "keep your guard up, you're way to squared up and forward heavy, relax." The coach took him aside to explain the meaning of light sparring and training. Full contact comes later.
Wow that's messed up. The Dad is totally missing the entire spirit of Jiu Jitsu and the point of it. Sad.
Thank god so much for a loving father who was only concerned with my effort. My performance? If it was great? Celebrated and rewarded. I'm 99% sure my Dad cared about my accomplishments and demonstrations of skill more than I ever did. But he cared more about my effort. When it wasn't good? Didn't give a single, solitary shit so long as the effort and hustle was there.
I'll ever forget youth hoops when my Dad would watch me put 25 on teams and say 'so proud you dropped 25. What do you think you could have done better? Are you happy with your effort? What do you think you did that made you do that tonight?'
When I didn't "Did you try? What about it was challenging? Yeah that guy was a monster - how do you think it went? You think he's just another guy or is he a guy you think you can out effort next year?"
If I put in the work and splatted against a brick wall I got as much love and adoration than if I posted 25 and cruised. But if I scored 2 points and didn't get rebounds because of laziness or using being tired as an excuse? Lessons leanred. Half the battle is just showing up. Every ounce of success after that comes from effort. If effort is ebbed with ability, than so be it. But if ability wins and effort allows ability - you've turtled. And I'd hear it.
He was a good dude. It gave me such a great framework for my kids who are able through me - that was passed to me through him - to provide effort? Then that's gonna lead to achievement. Results aren't everything, effort is. Sports aren't about you vs. everyone else. It's about you vs. making yourself better.
The case is pretty clear cut - it's about who's allowed to coach someone else to the point of someone being injured. The answer is no one, and those doing so need to be straightened out by the instructor.