WHY women CRAVE dominance and how YOU underestimate her DARK sexual drives
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- Опубликовано: 6 янв 2021
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A lot of guys don't seem to understand WHY women crave dominance, WHY they want the asshole, WHY they're so into "alpha males", WHY they love Christian Grey so much, WHY they want to be "IN THEIR FEMININE", WHY they want a guy to take control, WHY they want a guy to take the lead, WHY WHY WHY.
It all comes back to CHARLES DARWIN and natural selection and all that.
Evolution.
It doesn't matter if the guy is an asshole if the qualities that make him an asshole allow him to defend you and your children from another guy who wants to kill you and your children.
It doesn't matter if a guy roughly pushes you up against the wall and you got rug burn from him grabbing your arms, as long as you realize that he is gonna be aggressive enough to strike first at another guy or predator who tries to kill you.
It doesn't matter that a guy is arrogant and talks to you in a condescending way, as long as he is smart enough to help your family navigate life and ultimately survive.
On a subconscious level, most women want to see PROOF that you're strong, athletic, smart, and powerful in social situations. And their fantasies about dominance are about PROOF that you have what it takes. (Also why they're into badboys, outlaws and criminal types etc)
When a woman gets PROOF thru you taking the lead in the bedroom etc her deep evolutionary pleasure centers that guide her toward the right mate are lighting up like a christmas tree.
WOMEN often crave a SHOW of these dark controlling characteristics. THAT is WHY they often crave these DARK fantasies that are darker than what a lot of men even have. That's why they are actually the ones searching for the most disturbing and degrading explicit materials a lot of times, as talked about in many articles on the web.
SO DON't UNDERESTIMATE and don't be fooled thinking it's all butterflies and rainbows and rosepetals. It's not.
And if you've gotten something from my videos and want to buy me a coffee or send me a note or a tip, I would greatly appreciate that.
venmo: mynonleatherlife
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Thank you so much for watching and commenting!
-Victoria 
Развлечения
Many of us guys do understand this but we live in a society where you're easily and massive punished for pushing against resistance, for trying to overpower or dominate a woman in nearly any way. Push and you're pushy, don't push and you're weak. Dominate and you're an abuser, don't dominate and you're soft. Push a woman to do or try new things and you're forcing her to do things she's not comfortable with, yet if you do not do these things she will stagnate and lose all interest. This dynamic becomes insanely hard to navigate in marriage. If only men and women could come together to openly and honestly discuss what we need, want, desire, etc. and how to get there together. It's exhausting tbh
Well said, truth be told 👏👏👏👏& please do tell!👏👏👏👏👏👏👏😲
it's true, but again, you're asking a woman to be rational and say what she wants clearly which is the exact thing that they do not do!
That has caused the mess in the first place.
Women say one thing, but behave and crave exact opposite.
Thank you for this insight!
thing is society loves to be entitled and they love buzzwords like "pathetic, incel"
So for example an incel would be a guy that can be talked into being mysogynistic because women reject him.
But he's no longer an incel if he goes out and rapes 100 women. then he's a criminal, let's say he becomes more physically attractive as he starts enjoying his life of raping women, he starts taking care of his physical appearance. so he looks hotter, then you end up with a ted bundy lookalike and the world looks at him as the "hot rapist" or some kind of criminal celebrity. Goes to show how fucked up society is because ordinary men are repeatedly told they're not deemed interesting enough to women, yet all it is is guys who are physically attractive because they put in the work to sustain that image, vs guys who never started and therefore look like an incel. Everyone is born as a cute baby, then they grow, some people put all their eggs in one basket and forget to take care of their physical appearance, or even forget to learn how to appeal to the opposite sex, through simple trial and error, hanging out with friends, talking normal shit etc. The only thing to add is a bad man will never change. But a good man can always learn to be "hot" or "attractive" and he can remain a good man. A bad man? the neurology of a truly bad man will never be changed. It's not as simple as giving them 50 pep talks on how to live a more fulfilled life or love bombing them. You're trying to change the way they've thought for decades and how they came to those conclusions is through a truckload of experience and trauma, it's not going to happen. Bad people never get "gooder", they're a complete write off.
@@Red-wh3ok Women saying one thing and doing the other is because of female dual mating strategy
Learned that with my girlfriend, the sweetest little thing when we were knowing each other, when we started dating and being serious, she showed me what she was into, and daaamn, didn't imagine she could like that, luckily for her I'm into it too.
Bet u both enjoy it
@@mynonleatherlife what are blog sites or channels to read dark female fantasies?
@Dameetha Minhas you are right, but in bed it's different: in bed women want to be dominant!
@@fabioesploratore1847 No.
@@scottchaison1001 absolutly yes.
I just wish I discovered what true masculinity was earlier in my life, I've been told all my life I never needed to be strong, successful or competitive. Our society is messed up...
Couldn't say it any better.
Reference Point: Be Physically Fit
Every time I have this discussion with the average, guy it reminds me of how the scientists was struggling doing the renesance, trying to explain some basic astronomy to some farmer. It is so hard to make a beta simp understand that women aren't just MEN with tits. They have a completely different OS. Just give up man
@@kennygo8423 That won't cut it
A callused body has a callused mind, so forge yourselves fellas!
Think you for coming out and saying this.💜💜💜
so grateful u exist, my parents couldn’t tell me this typa stuff 😭
I'm a woman and I've started being submissive after watching horror movies when I was 8. I have no idea how it happened 🤷♀️
this is interesting. remember what you've been watching?
Because being submissive attracts dominant, masculine men. And being dominant is a sign of having the strength to defend a prospective mate from physical danger and predatory men who would seek out undefended women for unconsensual things.
Horror movies are made to give the audience what they want which is controlled FEAR. Perhaps the fear generated in you got in touch with your inner, primal desire for protection and as a result, you became submissive which is VERY attractive to dominate, masculine men, and other men too.
Since society is over-run with masculine, cheating, disloyal, pain-in-the-@, "boss babes", hoes, a feminine submissive woman is a RARE GEM. And if such a woman cooks for her man, this is very intoxicating for modern men because many were raised by selfish single muthers who fed them McD's and then ignored them.
That horror movie was good for you. Your feminity will give you a competitive advantage to other women for the guy you really want. And yes, if you want a superior man, you need to compete. Going more feminine is a secret weapon where a fit six will will get commitment over a pain-in-the-# ten. And commitment is the ONLY true test to see if a man is focused on you and his future rather than using other women for fun...
It is your mentality
Good girl.
You love being the prey.
That was one of the clearest explorations and explanations on this topic, I've ever heard. Thanks!
Wow! That was the most illuminating nugget I have never been told about, growing up. Thank you a gazillion times for sharing. Stay blessed.
Ma'am I needed to hear this, thank you for your quality video, it is evident that you are intelligent, open minded, and you invest in yourself, this cannot be said for all....
You are really effective at clearly explaining all these themes. You’ve completely cracked the way to articulate ‘this is what’s happening, this is why it happens and this is what you see exhibited as behaviours’. Between you and Dr David Buss, the pair of you have nailed the ‘why people are the way they are’ (look him up if you haven’t seen him yet). It completely makes sense and helps understand why men and women are so different in how they are and what they seek in each other as we’ve evolved that way. We don’t need to be embarrassed about it, it’s simply the way we are and we can’t undo millions of years of hard-wired evolution by wishing it so! Well done you and keep the videos coming! 👍
thank you Kiwi Viking!
You are a hidden gem, I just found your videos some minutes ago and way engaged .
Thank you very much!!! Which video did u find first? did youtube recommend it to you?
@@mynonleatherlife Not recommended , I found it .
I am trying to learn why me a guy of 30 yo has always been attracted to older women . I for one know is not a mommy issue thing because all the women I have dated doesn't matter if they are older I have found they still crave the dominance . In other words they always remain like little girls mentally and need a big hand to step in .
As you said , I don't judge your bodies as you women yourself do......right now I am going back and forth with a 43 woman which I find extremely sexy even though she doesn't herself .
Do I like young women ? Ofc I do but theres something about older women that I cant comprehend why is more thrilling for me , intellectually and sexually .
@@mynonleatherlife I find it interestingly weird that older women are attracted to me . Young girls nah they dont eye me .......but older women you see it in their eyes or how they smile at you , engage with you.
Thats why I find interesting your videos , gives some insight.
@@Gave-rf1hr Just a suggestion, but I wonder if for you it is the challenge of an older, smarter, wiser, more powerful and more sophisticated older woman as most older woman really become much more powerful, experienced and street smart. That makes the dominance even more intense because you are "taming" so to speak someone even more powerful so your skill is greater and it is more of an ego boost as well. I think it's really cool that u like older women. Do u think it could be something like that?
@@mynonleatherlife Thank you for your response . Hmmm that might be part of it yeah . I once had a thing with a 55 yo single realtor , she was extemely sexy objectively speaking as she had a killer body but also was very respected in the community as she was very successful .
I managed to get her , but you know what is even crazier she later confessed me that she had not been with someone in about 10 years ever since she got divorced and I believed it because everyone knew she was single and no-one ever said that they dated or so ....you know a man bragging around or anything , also when we had sex first time she was very very tight .
She craved dominance as you say , from being very vanilla at first she later ended up doing more hard stuff like anal , swallowing etc , filming ourselves (which I never ever and never will share videos of women I have been with)......very interesting how female mind works .
Knowing that I could get this woman that many men desired as you say it was an ego boost , but believe it or not I just don't go straight solely for the sex part I like the emotional part as well but you can see how sometimes this has been an issue due to the age differences .....thats what makes those relationships problematic and its not good .
Many times these relationships had to be in secret and Im not sure if that's what actually makes it thrilling for THEM women
I recently started something with a woman into self-development. She knows what she wants, communicates it, and embodies it. She is in touch with her body and emotions. It is really hot and amazing.
The "DARK" characteristics aren't dark because they're bad, they're dark because we are ashamed of them and hide them from the light. There's controlling from a place of insecurity by force and then there's leading and expressing one's desires from strong grounded masculine energy. Women will take the messy controlling energy from the bad boys because at least they're expressing something, at least they feel something from them. Women think it's one type of guy or the other, the messy bad boy energy or the boring but healthier nice guy energy. But there's a third option, men that have grown past being stuck in that binary space that are grounded, strong, leading, secure, expressive, accepting of themselves and their desires, and their woman and her desires, and not afraid to explore all of it from a place of love.
There aren't a lot of us yet but we're figuring it out. Our boomer mothers taught us to behave or to act out but we found each other on the internet, found out our identity and programming wasn't working for ourselves or for the women we were attracted to, and we are becoming the strong grounded masculine men we can be that both excites women and makes them feel safe rather than one or the other.
You’re wrong bud. Women have a fantasy of being with brutish men. Unfortunately, any smart man isn’t going to be brutish in society because society is specifically structured to stifle brutality. Women are often most attracted to men who aren’t good for themselves. She wants you to be a felon for her sick perversions, forget that you could get life behind bars. She wants a successful felon...a Harvard educated serial killer.
You see what I’m saying? I wouldn’t pay too much attention to what women desire if I were you. Just do you. Following the desires of women has countless instances throughout the history of religions, tales, fables, etc... that warn us of the perils.
Agreed. I say the same thing. Down to earth masculine men are almost extinct now due to feminism. All that is left are douche bag bad boys (I call them 'fools gold') and wimpy nice guys. Nothing in-between, like there was 70+ years ago before feminism. Modern women only have those two options, so many choose the fools gold, faux bad boys, and they wreck the women's lives and families. I grew up in a feminist, misandrist (man-hating) household and it's taken me decades to reverse that psychological damage and tap into my malnurished masculine manhood. I'm still a work in progress, but I'm getting there. The manosphere is a group of psychological archaeologists digging up the fossilized remains of masculinity and attempting to bring it back to life.
It feels to me like you are onto something. I am tapping into that energy and I feel a lot of women responding to it. It has accelerated even more since I started listening to Victoria.
There is no need to fear or be resentful of women today. Just understanding that they are fearful and confused puts considerate men who own their Male energy in the drivers seat. Its feels very natural to me now to step into that role.
It's not fake or pickup lines or any bullshit like that. Their behaviour just makes so much more sense to me. I am 62 years old and it would have been cool to meet someone like Victoria when I was 12 but I am grateful for this time right now and I am not going to waste it.
If other men in these comments feel the same way we need to find a way to get together like you and your friend have.
Thanks for your comment. It is good news. And thank you Victoria. You need a bigger stage.
@@markcampbell9227 Lol okay, then"step into that role" and go pay for a "fearful and confused" womam's lifestyle and I'll be waiting for your comment in a mgtow video a year from now 😂.
@@ryanbailey8588 You sound very frustrated and resentful and I can understand why. For years now men have been told by women to shut up, that we are pigs, potential rapists and that our masculinity is toxic. In spite of that we see women choosing men who are real assholes over men who treat them like gold. I have been resentful about this for awhile myself.
But many of the things Victoria has said lines up with this kind of erratic behavior by women. They are trying to step out of the shadow of men in the public arena but their bodies are telling them something else. Their bodies are telling them that they crave our Male energy even though they call it toxic.
Victoria is telling us that just as they are able to put us in a trance we can do some of that to them as well even though they dont show it. All she is saying is that our male intensity is beautiful to her and many of the women she associates with and talk to in women's groups.
Now that I'm beginning to claim that energy I am seeing the results for myself. It's like I dont care as much what they say they think about me and I find them way more predictable. I still adore women and treat them well it's just that I value my own nature more now and that seems to be a turn on for them. And it's a lot more fun.
This is a good thing guys. There is a real opportunity for men who want to be respectful but who can be freer now to explore a part of ourselves that women have been telling us to bury for decades now.
Your honesty and ability to be mature enough to discuss these feelings and desires is pretty damn refreshing - dare i even say attractive. Being in tune with who you are is so empowering. You're definitely not like the other women - you are very special.
Yes she become more attractive to me because of her honesty I feel like I can trust her words
@@mynonleatherlife
You are awesome we support you
You are giving truth about the women instead of the bullshit other youtuber gives or anything like be nice to a women and she will like you and fall for you but they don't say fall for you as a friend only
This is what missing in their videos which I wanted I am getting to know from your videos .
Thanks Victoria ❤
@@anupamjoshi7231 truly sad that honesty is so rare in females, that we tend to prize them for such a basic human trait
@@eugenchernomordik73 yaa right it is not about females also but males too but there is nothing hiding in males but there is in females
Thank you for sharing these insights Victoria. This is pure GOLD. Glad I'm sub'd to your channel.
Learned this late in life lol. Few dates years ago requested that I role played some dark rough shit. I wasn't mentally prepared for it but then I got myself into character real quick lol. Was extremely enjoyable. I now know to combine being ruff, hardcore then switch gears to gentle & loving all in one session lol
Love your videos.your so open and honest. Your right I have no clue where the right "trail" is but I'm starting to get a glimpse of understanding. Thank you.
Hey Victoria - Just want to say I love your honesty and courage to tell it like it really is. You're helping a lot of people including me! So thank you very much!
thank you andrew!!
Very honest and informative. Keep up the good work.
Awesome as usual Victoria! See you soon!
Hello! Thanks a lot... see u soon.
Are you Brian’s sister?
Very honest conversation and I agree with a lot of what you say. A strong man knows how to manage all sides of a woman, but knowing her man has a sense of control in all areas is something quite powerful and all men are expected to take on this role. Those men who don't embrace that role will eventually lose the respect of their woman and have a number of issues should the lady decide to stay around.
It was A very good video, Thank you for sharing the Info! Love your content!
I thank you for your honesty.
Thank you for making this video and we appreciate it.
Briliant work. Keep up the great work.
thank you very much. were u suspecting as much or surprised by the info in the vid
This woman has an innocent look, the ideal person for talking about women’s darkest juiciest sexual fantasies 😂
😂
Thank you so much Victoria! You make a lot of good points and cleared a lot of things up ⬆️ for me. A lot of these things I didn’t know but know now. Thank you again!
Which ones didn't u know?
So glad you're here and shining a light on this topic, it's very enlightening and validating for us men, thank you 🙏🙏
I’m not sure how enlightening it is since 90% of my commenters fundamentally misunderstand it
@@mynonleatherlife ..Thanks..yeah sure could be misunderstood or oversimplified
Thank you for your work!!! 🙏😃🚀
Victoria I love your content and honesty it's refreshing 👍🏾
Thanks Paul, I appreciate that
Wuuut, this is one of your best videos for sure
WOW Victoria. That was a very interesting revelation. Something I've never come across before and I think you're a 100% correct now I look back on my long life. Thank you xoxo
Love you channel. Thanx for praising the male species and not bashing it. 😎
Some guys definitely have dark fantasies about having total domination over women. For me, there are two different aspects of this desire for total dominance over women . One side is "dark" because it's about [controlling] women. This is masculine dominance filtered through the mans ego. Tho, the other side is a natural, willing submission from women. This requires the man to have sufficient masculinity to ground his ego, n thus, he still has all the power and appeal of the dark dominance, but, his dominance evokes women's absolute trust and willing submission naturally, (rather than through control, force, or manipulation)
This willing, natural submission is only granted to grounded, dignified masculinity. Personally, I don't think that there's a stronger sexual turn on than a woman who fully submits. The more fully she sincerely and whole heartedly submits.. the greater the turn on.
Nice comment
After 35 years of dating and relationships, I've RELUCTANTLY come to the conclusion that male dominance of women is the only way. I've fought it my whole life because of my upbringing and societal programming. I've tried negotiating, compromising, being equal, taking turns, and 'loving' the women in my life, all to no avail. My conclusion is that they sense all of those things as 'weak' and the only thing that I've found that works is to be completely dominant, uncompromising and disciplinary with them like a father would be towards his petulant 5 year old daughter. That works. Took me 35 years to get here, but so far it works - being a benevolent dictator. It's my way, or the highway. If they don't like my rules, they are free to leave and I'll find somebody that does. "Between being loved and feared, I have always believed Machiavelli was right. If nobody is afraid of me, I'm meaningless"
@@ralphfurley4217 Not every time. Not to me at least. I like sex with people who are equal to me. I want to be able to lead over them too and switch
@@andreavalentina1665 Have fun pegging your man
@@andreavalentina1665 You say equal, but in reality you want a man to control things in the bedroom.
Thank you, I have been trying to help a friend understand this behavior precisely.
what did the friend say
@@mynonleatherlife I'm afraid to say that his response was emotional and rejective of the notion that he can't just be nice and find the right woman; How could I approach it? We're dealing with someone who needs to understand how to be less nice. I understand if you don't want to deal with this further, I'm just another person on youtube, but I'm happy you looked at my friend's case regardless.
I highly appreciate your honesty and I think, I do belive it behaves just like you said. But, respect is key. Thank you!
Another great video. Been having a lot more fun with the pretty girls in my life ever since i found this channel. Feels good expressing my primal dominant nature and doing as i please
hope you are keeping it respectful but that's great to hear
Don't be respectful.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.. I think your theory also applies to the female fascination with vampires & werewolves. Vampires & werewolves are archetypes of darkly charismatic & darkly primal men. Of course every woman is an individual, but.. (peace)
@@mynonleatherlife so you need to be dominant to be attractive to women? What if i just want a normal relationship. Do you think being masculine is about being dominant?
I think toxic masxulinity/femininity exist. I also think that there are no feminine stuff or masculine stuff. It sounds extremist, but it is conservative. I do believe in two genders and that they have their own identity. I just dont think it should be society that choose. Be free and independent is good. I love your perspective it is new and refreshing. With logic.
Makes sense
God damnit it you called me out on the fantasy about vampires 😓😬
You're discussing the practice of Hypergamy from Female perspective!
Amazing indeed!
RP aware! What up, Brother!
Thank you for honest videos. The other one you mentioned was useful as well
Women get turned on by the way men talk and act when they interact with them. Just not about appearance as it is with men.
True story
@@colinesquire2480 ¿?
You are talking about first impressions. The order in which these prorities come is different for both sexes, but you always encounter both.
@@WALDENSOFTWARE ¿?
I think men are attracted to feminine energy as well. You've got this whole wave of we don't like aggressive women so its clearly not all about looks. Im gay and dress masculine and men still hit on me all the time because I still have feminine energy.
The way you talk and express yourself, turns me on so much. You are like an ideal woman. A like and a sub for you.
the video was fantastic like all the other ones. Thanks for the raw honesty, most guys will be better off hearing this.
I hope so, thanks so much
Excellent points!
Thankyou so much for saying it all❤
Thank you! I needed to understand the female psyche and your videos go a long way. Since last week I am undergoing a 'arranged marriage' setting with people(ourselves and our families) who consider themselves as practicing Muslims.
So she came across as the typical modest and shy Muslim girl type, who seemed to be not interested in any of this, but once she realized who I was(a made man in Corporate) and that I don't judge women(her friend vouched for me, she takes my counsel :) and after a few discussions she initiated the "talk" and opened up pleasantly about her desires and how she wants me to "be satisfied" and that I am free to "teach her". She was feminine and submissive and continues to be.
What muddies the water is the culture and society of South east Asian country - India, which considers all of this taboo, and in most cases(not all) the prospective brides/grooms are not even allowed to speak with each other and something the "elders decide", I had to stand against this and make sure we talk, as Islam encourages us to we know each other, we are expected to sexually open up once married. But I guess women are women at the end of the day, irrespective of the religion/culture they follow or the society they belong to. :D
PS: She personally is inclined to the vegan diet, but is ok to prepare beef and other things for me.
I enjoyed reading everything you wrote until you said "women are women " and related that to society, like both men and women are affected by that
What is your religion bro
@@amira6685 Well, I cannot satisfy everyone, men are men and women are women. Ain't nothing wrong with that observation, you are free to disagree however. :D
@@saadderaiya Mentioned as "Practicing Muslims" so Islam. As we are practicing Muslims, so what happens inside the bedroom is private.
@@NM0047 oh I didn't know you were a practising muslim too, sorry. From what i get, you're not from south east asian culture? What ethnic do you belong to?
Change Is Good, Love Love The Background ✔
haha wow what do you like about the background?
Its different, more professional I guess.
@@nova6170 I think it may be the sun in the background lending the look of lighting? Good to know it is better, thx for the feedback
You are on the right track.
Fire and water working in perfect harmony. Thank you for this video
You are definitely right. Not every single time but yes. You are definitely on point. I don’t even betray this until I’m really serious with a man a trust. There you have it. I’ve always thought I needed this dominance because I’m a single mother that has to tend after everything in my world and more so I do it successfully. Js
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
These videos are great. My wife has been in the hospital for months and I don’t know if she will recover but we had such a fulfilling relationship, especially sexually and when you talked about women wanting sexually healing you put into words what we shared but I didn’t even realize fully. Hearing this made me realize how much my wife and I did RIGHT and it is so important to me to know that. It made me cry. Thank you for these videos.
Sorry to hear. I lost my wife suddenly before Christmas and it was definitely a tough road to walk this winter. I have a lot of sympathy for anyone else in a difficult situation with their spouse.
Losing her gave me a new appreciation for how important it is to make the most of the time we’re here on the planet.
Sending best wishes your way that you and your wife can make it through this difficult time.
Did you cheat on her?
@@ChloeLayneXO why would you ask that?
@@AnonymousGuy12 that's what men do when women get sick
@@ChloeLayneXO women do it too. Stop this generalising bs. You have seen most dating shows on yt where women come to find a new man and behind them her husband in hospital fighting cancer. And she gives the reason:- i have to be practical and find financial stability that's all
It is hard to let that information sink in when I know i'm not that strong, confident and bold man at all. But i know you are speaking the truth, I wish I had been on that path since beggining. Thank you for opening my eyes, I will work hard to become the alpha I've deep down always wanted to be
First make sure your definition of alpha corresponds to what women like cuz u could go on a wild goose chase there
@@mynonleatherlife Yeah you're right. I will study more on which alpha guy women really want. On that matter, do you have any videos that treat that particular subject, with like a description of the alpha man traits and characteristics, I feel like the opinion on what is an alpha man is different for everyone but I would be interested
Truth has been spoken. Thank you for this quality of insights.
You are interesting psychologist who observe male and female psyche and relationship among them ...... important thing is you are self conscious .... Thanks for sharing your knowledge dear....
From India
Thank you, and thanks very much for commenting. Let me know if there’s any questions u ever have about women or a topic u are interested in
Solid video. Your directness is very refreshing.
thanks a lot
Thank you You gave me the exact answer I was looking for now it makes sense
So Right And So True, My Common Sister!
I've been into mild BDSM since I was 6 years old. In my 35 years of dating, I'd guess that 75% of the females that I discussed or introduced to mild BDSM were very interested, even if they had no experience, and were hooked for life afterwards. The other 25% had no interest, at least with me as a dominant. The older I get, the more dominant I get in every aspect of life and the more I believe that male dominance is the natural order of life.
At age 6, I was naturally submissive as I couldn't imagine me dominating a 20 year old female as a 6 year old boy. In my teens and twenties as I grew my sexual experience, I realized that female dominance is a myth and there is no true heterosexual female dominant on the planet (all the prn is staged and set up and the pro's do it for money only) so I grew into a dominant male. There is a saying that bottoms make the best tops. True. I can understand female submission because I was a male submissive at a young age.
You are correct, but the rainbow crowd and the feminist movement has poisoned society into believing otherwise. It’s easy to pretend in a world that allows it, but whenever societies get thrown into chaos it’s men who take control and do what needs to be done every single time. It’s the job of women to take care of the children and support their men in such situations, which is what is in their nature.
@@kingwillie206 I don't agree at all. There's plenty of women that also jump into action and plenty of men that don't. It probably partly depends on what part of the country yr in bc in the south and midwest and rural areas they'll b more men than women that do that bc that's how everyone is raised but in big coastal cities it'll be 50-50.
@@goodnessalwayswins - Everyone must “jump into action” in times of war, but if we are all enemies and you end up in a room with me and Ralph and we are all out of ammo, you aren’t leaving that room unless we mutually agree to let you. It’s me vs him and that is how it has been since the Dawn of man. We as men recognize that, but most modern women are delusional. Name a single war in all of human history won by women. Name a single society built solely by women. What infrastructure have women built? You can support men and “jump into action”, but in the end it is better for humanity when you play a submissive and supportive role. You running up on a man and getting your neck snapped does nothing for the children and injured who need supplies and assistance while men fight. Quick question, can you carry an injured 200lb man across a football field with gunfire and bombs dropping all around you? Also, we as men know you are more vulnerable and naturally want to protect you from the enemy more than other men, hence the phrase“women and children.” You are a liability on the battle field because of that fact, not to mention the massive risk of rape by enemy soldiers. You don’t want any parts of that and Ukrain is a prime example. You see propagandist photographs of women holding air-soft rifles, but how much live action of them have you seen? All you see are single men being forced to leave their children with strangers at the border of a foreign country while women and children walk straight through.
@@kingwillie206 hi king, I totally disagree w u and I think if women were more in charge than men our society probably wouldn't b so cutthroat and such a rat race, it would be a way better world, bc men tend to be so overly aggressive and overly competitive.
So name one war stared by women, I believe they were all started by men. Yeah women have less physical strength but if we were doing things the right way in the world that would rarely be a problem. There should be no war, we should be focusing o peacemaking not on hostility.
Thanks for this video!
it's an amazing video, and it really answers the question that i have been thinking about lately. "is being caring and nice as a man really more attractive than being dominant" .. so thank you very much.
they're both important...check out my second to last video and you will see an ideal ratio for them
Female nature is not for the faint hearted
ur right
can we frame this?
I just want to take a moment to shout out how radiant you are for your authenticity on this subject bc we ladies are pretty dark ppl. We really go there emotionally bc we are socialized to communicate everything from a place of feeling rather than examining the self a little deeper. My mom always kept me in a place where self realization was the goal but the world taught me something different about men, something that I held onto bc I felt it would get me what I truly desired out of men . News flash: that’s not how ANY OF THIS WORKS lol. I’ve taken my own initiative to explore the concepts of BDSM outside of the confines of a relationship and make it personal and hopefully even spiritual so I can unlearn bad behavior and chose a good man.
Would you be interested in a over the phone dinamic
Make BDSM spiritual...omg i hope you'll never succeed in it. It will mean you'll attract all king of predatory inogarnic beings who will come just to suck every thing they can. Human energy is very precious and very coveted in our solar system, and being compulsive or introduce violence in any subtle energetic process lead to a massive disaster.
I mean human race is in that place of suffering so much because of people oppening some doors of consciouness when they shouldn't. Spoiler alert, if you want to go spiritual with sex, forget violence and getting fucked by men. Go for natural forces, espcially wind. Womens all have a their wind ready to carry them through sex outside normal boundries of perception and possibilies (and it's a damn better fucking fuck), and contrary to men, they're not voiding you for that.
Definitely one of the better women’s opinions I’ve seen on this topic
100k subscribers! Certified!
She’s speaking facts it’s important to be sexually comfortable with yourself and partner
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I wonder how these fantasies can square with dominant women? Because I suspect that even dominant women are turned on by these things, but perhaps in a slightly different way. Is there any hope for accessing these deep desires for a guy who seeks dominant women?
Perhaps they prefer to fantasize a matriarchy, but it often feels like women would rather fantasize fighting a patriarchy than ruling in their own matriarchy.
Would hyper femininity work well for dominant women? This feels like it could be a female power fantasy. Women don't fantasize about physically dominating a man, but making him go blank and stupid in presence of her beauty. Attention is firmly on her.
Breeding rights should also work here, with a man needing to prove he is worthy.
I think the whole dominance thing is definitely a spectrum as well, because no one wants a totally passive partner. I think even the most dominant women want a man who is giving feedback, ideas, projects strength (that she guides), and glows with masculine energy.
And dominant men of course don't want a completely passive woman. Might as well have a sex doll. She needs to be enthusiastic, seductive, give feedback, and needs to understand and use her own feminine power.
So how can a man who prefers to be submissive still channel his masculine power? How can a woman who prefers to be dominant still channel her feminine power?
@@mynonleatherlife I appreciate the honesty of both the question and the answer in this thread. I can't help but view the 'dominant' side of the equation of what is termed as 'female submissiveness' a lot in these dialogues. For example a very common act of a group of men transfixed with a stripper performing isn't usually termed as a dominant act by a female, actually often described in an exact opposite way such as 'male objectification of the female', however if you think about it at its core it is nothing but an enactment of male worship of the female sexuality with the female holding all the power in the situation. Even the female selection of 'dominant' males as discussed in this video can be described as the female holding the power of selection. I feel a dominant woman would have no trouble channeling her femininity as that is precisely where her 'power' comes from, female sexuality and the overwhelming impact it has on men. I would love to know about the book recommendation.
You know the messages to all those questions. /
Very insightful video, with subjects I have never thought about.
which part had you never thought about
Hi Victoria thank you so much for your content!
I know this is a couple of years old but I have to comment again❤
Your input here is so critical because most men don't understand this,
in my experience I have had these discussions with women but only with women that I've been with for a while and can really talk to.
These women have confessed to me their desire for dominance (of course with strict rules on limits)
It's very hot and exciting for me that they would first want to do this and second trust me to do it with them.
To me this is like a super expression of the masculine and The Feminine coming together, where because of the masculine but gentle nature of the man the woman trusts the man and allows herself to become very feminine.
so again thank you so much for your content and I just want to remind you you're not only super informative and helpful but you're also hot and sweet and beautiful❤
I think domination represents commitment and security of desire in a the most profound primal sexual way. And because sexual desire is only a moment of intensity, for most that's all it takes for nature to get us to have sex and that's all nature wants, for humans to survive as a species.
After 35 years of dating and relationships, I've RELUCTANTLY come to the conclusion that male dominance of women is the only way. I've fought it my whole life because of my upbringing and societal programming. I've tried negotiating, compromising, being equal, taking turns, and 'loving' the women in my life, all to no avail. My conclusion is that they sense all of those things as 'weak' and the only thing that I've found that works is to be completely dominant, uncompromising and disciplinary with them like a father would be towards his petulant 5 year old daughter. That works. Took me 35 years to get here, but so far it works - being a benevolent dictator. It's my way, or the highway. If they don't like my rules, they are free to leave and I'll find somebody that does. "Between being loved and feared, I have always believed Machiavelli was right. If nobody is afraid of me, I'm meaningless"
I pity the woman who decides to be with you
Excellent mate
Well, Mr. Furley, we all know that you're totally whipped by Lana and your brother Bart. Also, how can you assert dominance while wearing those polyester leisure suits? One more thing, you have a very weak chin and faint a lot. I'm just not buying your "dominance" story. Can't even get naked at a poker game.
That’s sad to hear, I’m sorry. Fear is never a healthy place for a relationship. Trust and safety and genuine connection and care is what allows a woman to be submissive to a man who is dominant in bed. But it required respect and safety for most women to feel safe to submit.
A lot of dumb inexperienced people don’t respect love and must be ruled though fear and appearances. That is not true for everyone though. Have you tried varying your dating environment ?
You are amazing.. I totally agree with you
We love you Lady Victoria! Love and kisses from Capetown ❤
Thanks Khaleed🖖
I have a long story about me realizing who I really am, and all the suppression I've done because I was taught it was wrong. At age 25, there is something I like to share.....
I am 6ft 3inches and 248lbs of man also very muscular. My friend who is deeply into sexology, made me take a test at a bar on my phone to see what my sexual nature was. Embrassing but it's a bar. I found out from it that I am a "Primal Dom", and sadist overall. Also I was struggling to understand the female sexual nature in general.(thank you for this video)
I did not know the complexity of female sexual desires, but I did know of societies that encourage and stricten certain fetishes and kinks that are more naturally pursued by women. I was a anchor trying to swim in the ocean, just to understand what I would even consider a female I would want to be with, I had no identity to myself for 25 years.
After my friend, explained to me what I normally attract because of my size and intellect. She proved so much about who I meet I felt ashamed for breaking up with many women over things they would describe to me, because I just didn't understand.
So now, another has found me. She seeks domination, as she said to me,"pain is joy" to me the second day I met her. At first I was confused again, but now I understand what she wants and I know who I am....I lack training but I am natural a hateful brutal loving man is still in the process of growing and unleashing completely. I believe she can help me grow and I could help her too.
However, does it mean love or business?
What do u mean by love or business? I would get on fetlife and do some research so you can understand what you’re into better and how to practice it safely and consensually!
@@mynonleatherlife Thank you
I think sometimes for us dominant/sadist it’s easier to treat relationships like a business relationship. Just think of rules …restrictions..boundaries…
In my experience some of the women I've had the misfortune to meet, generally speaking, need to take responsibility for their behaviour (the things they say and their actions). It seems they feel they can say or do whatever they want, be manipulative, keep secrets, be elusive and aggressive and then complain about the mess afterwards, even then blaming it on the man that has been the unfortunate target and using it to compound the situation even further. It is eye-wateringly impossible to comprehend and handle. There are many men out there that do this also but generally they are called out for it. Conversely, women are celebrated for their "independence and strength" and it is damaging everyone, including themselves. It's no good pretending it's the apocalypse all the time, you have to adapt to civilisation (as men have had to/tried to though it's getting us nowhere).
Interesting stuff!!
Great vid
This one breaks down into power dynamic. Woman have always had more at risk when it comes to pregnancy. On top of it on average the male will be the more physically dominating presence in a sexual encounter. So men are just free to want sex with woman. We have little penalties either socially or physically. Women in order to allow their minds to go there sometimes will go to darker places to allow her to be taken. Great video!
Excellent videos...I remember 50 shades of grey. It did away with the fantasy that men are the perverts.
Very cool. I love your videos.
Thanks Brett
This video is underrated.
I subscribe
thanks Sydney
Ever since I got with my girlfriend I've been amazed at how much she loves it the more dominant and possessive I am. The title and topic is controversial and may drive people away but it's facts
First, late me state how amazing it is that you can speak openly about this evolutionary reality. Problem is this. There's a VERY thin line between dark fantasy and criminal. The only deciphering factor being the womans attraction to that man. If the woman is attracted to him initially, he can go caveman on her. If she's not and he goes caveman, he's creepy, rapy etc. We saw it with Mike Tyson, we saw it with 2Pac. It's a dangerous game to play.
yes it is, which is why the kink community has found a safe and consensual way to harness these desires and explore them safely and respectfully
@@mynonleatherlife Interesting. I never considered the "kink" community, but when you frame it that way, it sounds very educational and liberating.
Were cavemen really that creepy and rapy?
This is so true
Thanks for sharing. I was such a sub when I was a kid. Then I released that's such a turn off to most women. It's been easy to make the switch. I wouldn't do anything to anyone that I haven't tried myself.
Hello Dear,
I really appreciate you for this nice video and more appreciation because you not only just talking about how you feel but also you added the research suport and experiance from the content of different group.
I want to add few things. I believe there always exist a spart in both men and women when they are interacting with opposite gender the relationship may be husband wife, bf gf, friends or even random people that you may don't know. Girls are you may say Shy to express that spark by directly saying it like she want to have a sex, so they hide and they wait for the guy to approach them in a comfortable way so she can let it happen. So the guys when approach a girl with this intention, they must make sure to keep her in comfort zone and progress slowly like you try touch her hand, play with her fingers, play with her hairs, move to kiss her lips and observe her reaction, you don't need to be aggressive at this stage, rather then saying it with words, show her with your actions. Ok if you see positive response, keep progressing and reach your destination. If you see a negative response, do remember to still keep her in comfort zone and may be this day is not your day but tomarrow will be your day. Finally when you start the sex, make sure that she enjoy about what you are doing. If she enjoying, she will make you enjoy more then your expectations, you would be able to do it for longer duration and next time you need to put less effort to reach your goal.
I am telling this based on my personal experience, some may don't agree but still give it a try. I keep experimenting the things to see how it turn to be.
Once again Thank you so much for the video
I think i missed to say that yes when you are doing sex, make sure to show strength and make sure that this strength is not for very short duration, it has to be continued for longer duration.
fantastic advice, very helpful comment, thanks for sharing your wisdom from the field
Oh my. I guess we've found Victoria's secret 😘
thank you so much for this video because I was doubting the same thing, and now I am certain that I am right
Perfectly said!! ❤
funny how guys can disagree with a women talking about WOMEN
@@mynonleatherlife I think it gives guys a view on how some women are but not all. People are different in many ways so there is not a one size fits all for women. In my experience I have found the women that I have come in contact with is that they usually tend to go after tall muscular good looking guys that had a bit of an arrogant jerk vibe to them. Now I’m not that type of person simply because as you become older and more mature you realize that you can’t treat people like that and expect them to like you, plus you will not go far in life treating people like that. The old saying you get more with honey than vinegar is true. Guys tend not to pay attention to the caliber of women they go after and thus get with low value low quality women that look for the “bad boy” types. I’m not considered to be the bad boy type other than when I’m intimate with a women which I’m very sensual and passionate to the point where they end up falling in love with me. However I’m not what most women would consider physically attractive being 5’6 155lbs muscular and ripped. My height is a big disadvantage even though I make up for it in another area if you know what I mean. Although most women do not give me any choosing signals and don’t even give me the time of day to find out all of these things about me simply because I’m not physically attractive to them. I have found that I tend to do slightly better with my own race then I do with Caucasian women since I am mixed Hispanic and Asian.
Because she doesn't speak for all women if a guy disagrees that doesn't mean he's wrong If I said to women that all guys like being slapped it doesn't mean it's true
No because in science it doesnt matter who is saying something, it’s just whether what they saying is correct and evidence based or not
I'm a woman and I disagree 🤣. Ofc I respect what she wants in guys but obviously she isn't speaking for the rest of us. I just want a guy to be himself and if he shows vulnerability with me then that would let me know he trusts me.
@@shadowyoptimism955 women who believe in wicca are called witches. It's a religion, and theres no such thing as vampires bro what are you on?
As a girl you’re 100% right about me lol
Best video titles ever
Thank you for the insight. That explains a lot, to be honest. Though, I hope that you have many videos with such a deep insight, that we as men, could improve ourselves in that regard :)
Personally, the best balance in a relationship is when I'm in a "switch " role . I love to dominate ,but I also love being submissive . It doesn't get old .
Thank you for saying that. Bcz my ex husband wants a woman like the woman from coming to America. Bark like a dog and jump on one leg.
@@anubratabasu3766 He wanted all of that but didn't want to get a job no where.
@@anubratabasu3766 Well all do respect, they can have his ass. Especially if he doesn't want to work no where but play the cunga on a corner and want to except $1.00 bills. He quotes scripture all day long but never applies it to himself. He preaches every blue moon in churches just so he could get paid. And every time I got paid from my job, he would tell me to give him some money, never told me why. So if you want his bumb ass, you and anyone else can very much have him.
@@justhere420 Nope
@@justhere420 nope. I wouldn't mind doing that kinky shit in the bedroom that my husband wanted me to do. But now, it's his loss.
A lot of what you are saying lines up almost perfectly with many of Carl Jung's ideas and what many evolutionary biologists have said as well. I really think a lot of young men need to hear this so they are not terrified or resentful of women.
This whole thing can be problematic for some men though since many of us crave an emotional/spiritual connection with women during the sex as well. I can be a very intense guy sometimes and that kind of connection helps me lower my walls and let go of some of that intensity.
Is it possible to have both of those things with the same woman or are women really not interested in that?
It is absolutely possible. Also the more you show your sensitive side, and that you're not afraid to be in touch with your - let's call it - "feminine" side, the hotter you are when in the masculine role.
I'll give you an example: rock musicians! Watch them and see they tend to have lots of feminine gestures, and also they're some of the more masculine guys out there. They dominate so much, they have no fear to be delicate, express their feelings, be tender and sweet, and they can make love lovingly, and also on other occasions they can destroy you in bed ☺ ah, life and its spectrums!
@@luciarehermann7921 Thank you so much for that. First of all it gives me hope of finding that kind of relationship with a woman.
Secondly, I am a writer and I have asked some women to help me develop a character for a new novel that is empathic, expressive and caring who also appeals to women in a primal way. I want to provide an alternative, more authentic path for men to providing what women want so that they can attract an intimate partner that supports their caring nature while also being a super freak (meant in a good way) in bed.
In many ways, it feels like it is the man's ability to claim his masculine energy while being caring and empathic that will properly allow a woman to be as wild and as freaky as she wants to be. Does this feel right to you?
@@markcampbell9227 I think it goes both ways. For a man to free his masculine energy, there needs to be a woman that wants to receive it. I recently dated a guy older than me that had never realized how much he liked to be dominant, because he'd never been with a woman that wanted it. But with me he could express it and it came out completely natural in a matter of minutes.
Also, regarding your original quest, and talking about this sort of dichotomy that helps free the masculine side in contrast with the sensitive side and also the other way around, I find it very hot and it makes me feel very secure that a guy can switch from sexual/primal/dominant to "real life" where he's a rational, caring and loving human, and absolutely certain consent is being given. For example one time during foreplay I said something like "hey" or "wait" because I wanted to tell him that there could be some period blood remaining and he stopped point blank, looking kinda scared even and asked what was wrong, very worried that he might have been making me uncomfortable with something. Also asking in the middle of it if evertyhing's OK is very hot and reassuring.
For an example of this hot dichotomy between sexual dominant energy and real life where both people are in the same level of dominance watch the sex scene in the airport bathroom in season 3 of The Leftovers. It's amazingly done because they start with the sound of the dialogue they will be having next, in the plane, while showing you the sex scene, where he dominates her, but in the dialogue they're in the same level and even he's asking her stuff she knows and he doesn't. I'll try to find it and put a link here.
@@markcampbell9227 couldn't find it in RUclips obviously but well let's hope it doesn't get removed, I'll put some asterisks in between, you'll need to copy it and remove them: ht*tps://es.po*rn*hu*b.co*m/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5c5081c399919
Absolutely! I think there is a fine line with this. Most women desire to be submissive in bed but can only feel safe to be with a man they trust and feel a genuine connection to otherwise it can blur into feeling abusive/unsafe. There is nothing sexier than feeling held within the strength and power of a man but knowing you’re ultimately cared for and safe so that you CAN submit and be ‘taken’ - if that makes sense. So what you are describing is most womens ultimate!
Thanks for being honest
An honest video. Thanks for posting, but I am still confused!
I'm a dominant male.. I can say with confidence that a true dominant male knows what women want and need and each woman is different.. guys confuse being dominant and rough.. it's not the same thing and women know what I'm talking about. Controlling her with suttle but strong actions like head positioning , soft hair pullling and holding her down in different way using gentle but powerful actions at the right moment... if you don't know what moments that is just stop and forget about it...lol
Yes this! Dominant and rough is not the same thing. Unless I reeeally feel safe, too rough would upset me if I don’t feel connected or ‘seen’… but being dominated is the sexiest thing ever. It’s feeling the power and strength of a man but feeling respected and appreciated at the same time
@@eugenerider0701 Those moments are when a man dominates a woman in a natural but respectful way sexually that they both enjoy!.. 😉
Dominant but not repressive
As a female sub, I totally agree with you 👍
Bros, don’t be a tyrant .... but don’t be a whimp. Be the good man that you were meant to be. P.S : thanks for the video girl. Keep it up. 👍
Thank you!
Loved the video
Thanks a lot Omar. What did u like about it
@@mynonleatherlife the fact that you are talking about something that’s true but not many people are willing to talk about it
@@omardumet120 Thanks
Yeah, a lot of women have fantasies of submission, being over powered, not being able to escape and helpless and guys also have fantasies about being dominating and loosing control to their wild side. Some guys need to forget about being nice and just go ham.
Guys also have submissive fantasies that include all the things u mentioned women have just fyi
@@mynonleatherlife true