6 Reasons You're Not As Happy As You Could Be
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- Опубликовано: 1 сен 2021
- Most people want to know how to be happy, and many think happiness is a destination you arrive at when everything in your life is going the way you want it to. But that's not true. Happiness is not a destination, it's a discipline.You might be wondering: 'I have so much in my life, why can't I just be happy?' And that's because there are several things stopping you from being happy - including many here that will surprise you.
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When life is overwhelming and seems like it will never let up is when it's more important to stop -& smell the roses!! Thanks Julia!!
I had to read this comment three times. 🤣
This use to be me!!
I didn't realize until after the work that childhood pain and anger that I was storing in my body and mind was keeping me from appreciating the wonderful things in life.
I cannot imagine my life being as dark as it use to be. I am soo soo happy to have gone through the talk therapy of all the painful experiences and getting the proper responses from my therapist compared to the invalidating responses from my parents.
I never in my life thought those feelings i buried were actually BURIED and effecting me until 2.5 years later of weekly sessions. And in these sessions I would cry and would invalidate myself just like my parents did... but the difference was my therapist taking the role of a parent telling me that those experiences were awful and I didn't deserve to be treated like so. Having that adult step in and replacing my parents in-validations with validations was a HUGE DIFFERENCE.
This could not have come at a better time. Thank you Julia for always bringing a reminder like this on how to connect with ourselves and lean into the happiness we already have.
I am so grateful that I just stumbled upon you and your channel! My day yesterday was filled with one worrisome thought after another, so much so, I was afraid of today. I listened to your 10 minute mindfulness audio and it immediately put me into the present moment and made made me realize that they are just thoughts...nothing else. Thank you so so much for all this free content that is so valuable! 😇🙏
Thank you Julia, managing expectations was key in keeping my head above the water in early recovery. TIP: do not focus on the quick solutions. Everything takes time, our feelings take time to process, our patterns take time to transition, even the person ahead of us in the car takes more time than we think necessary to make a left turn. Learning to breath and count to five takes time to see results. Best PRACITCES and WISHES to us ALL!
I do follow what your saying, being present with what your doing and consciously enjoying it.
Happiness cannot be found. It is created. Thank you Julia for sharing your knowledge.
You made me cry when you talked about hugging your friends........😭😭😭....... we are soo isolated from ppl because of VIRUS........ we used to socialize dance , Zumba classes all that stuff. I can’t exercise with a mask on. We don’t feel safe in groups.........Just very sad....... I LOVE what I have, but feel Empty w/o my friends energy & connections........
Awww, Rhonda.. I understand completely! It's going to get better soon!! I'm also very into Zumba and dancing (I'm a Zumba instructor 😁😁) and have been doing virtual classes online..it's been ok--better than nothing! And I've made a really good friend from the UK through virtual Zumba! But you're right: it's not the same as in-person!! And I know, working out with a mask on is HARD!! But hang in there!! It will get better!
@@kirstenvzumba9246 thank you! I was a fitness instructor many many years ago, but I really enjoy just taking a Zumba class and just zoning out! So much fun and so much energy in our room! Especially we have zoom batons and raise money for different charities! Thank you for the peptalk I really really appreciate it sending love to all of you there!🥰❤️❤️❤️🙏
I really need to hear this 🙌🏽 thank you 😊
Hi Julia! I'm a disabled entrepreneur helping other disabled entrepreneurs construct robust personal brands. Love your channel! I will let good enough, be good enough. Cheers!
really needed this Julia....thank you very much, with the ongoing lockdown or more than half a year and how I feflt bad since last year's circumstances this video made me realize alot of things..
just need to work alot on my inner thoughts and expectations, especially how other people unknowingly makes us behave and think how we are..
I think about this a lot at times, sometimes I find it really hard to maintain gratitude and acceptance of my current circumstances!
Thank you Julia for another great video. I reckon I could relate to all these areas in life but the one that really got me most was being thankful for where you are now instead of thinking way too much about the next big thing. This is something that really came to mind once it was mentioned and I’m thankful it’s now been two and a half years or so since I was finally able to move out of my parents’ home and live independently - nearly seven years since graduating from university. Where I live now is small, but it is just me living here, and that is all I need right now - nothing more.
To quote some wise words I was once told "Sometimes, the best things are those we can only dream about" and "You are at your happiest when you are NOT THINKING ABOUT trying to be happy."
I definitely need to be more 'present' in the moment. I do say that a lot... "I can't wait to go here (next vacation)" when I'm where I wanted to be (current vacation) for so long!!
Thank you so much - that was really good and i certainly will share
For some, after retirement, its hard to find purpose. That can steal happiness. I love your points and will try to adjust my attitude. Thank you. ♥️
That's a good point about appreciating where your at instead of just looking to the next thing.
Hey Chris!! One of my favorite Shifty friends!! Hope you're having a good day!!😄
@@kirstenvzumba9246 thanks, but im not in the shift society! Ive thought about it,but never did it! Thanks for commenting on my comment, makes me feel like i know someone!
Thank you, Julia. Your videos seem to be so timely for me. This one is a great example.
you are doing a great job and it help me to think different and grow.. Thanks Julia for the wonderful job!!!..stay safe!!
Thank you so much! Listening to this episode finally connected to understand the thoughts and beliefs about myself I’d been believing my whole life. It’s difficult to separate those thoughts from myself when they are like fingerprints.
I remember wanting so much things that i now have,. Health, kids, a house and a good partner. I forgot about that…
Thank you to reminders me!
I needed to hear this Julia. Have been thru quite a lot in the last 4 yrs.
A really good talk - thanks!
Thank you so much Julia this video is exactly what I needed to hear, I can identify with all of the things you talked about I struggle with perfectionism and I know it gets in the way of my happiness, but I find myself stuck in these ruts every day trying to keep things perfect, even though at the time I feel that if these things are not done just so, I wont be happy well, lol I'm finding just the opposite I'm making myself miserable pushing myself everyday to do these things so so "I can be happy" I related to all 6 but the perfectionism is the biggest one I need to work on, you gave very helpful things to think about, thanks again Julia. 💞
What a great video. I have struggled with perfectionism that plays a big role why I do not love myself. After the shift society, it is time to improve self-acceptance. I have not felt happy due to perfectionist mindset, I realize that my anxiety comes from understimination and lack of appreciation for myself. Nothing was good enough with my family, I notice that I achieve something, but I do not recognize the success or the growth. One of the examples is that I want to have financial stability. I am a digital marketeer and I want to have clients, but it is taking more time than I expected. What is good in my life right now is that I am working hard to grow as a young man and travel to connect with other cultures, languages and perceptions.
Hey Julia! God bless your day💖
Thank youuu 🥺❤️
Really Enjoyed your post julia-Wisdom but pragmatic too -The wrong choices can bring us to the right places. The biggest failures often carry the best lessons. When you fail to get what you want, consider that it just might be a blessing in disguise. Seriously, be grateful that certain connections and situations didn’t work out. If you didn’t let go and learn, you would be stuck with false promises. Celebrate your progress.
It’s funny how we outgrow what we once thought we couldn’t live without, and then we fall in love with what we didn’t even know we wanted. Eventually you’ll end up where you need to be, doing the right things, alongside the right people. Patience and persistence are the key. But don’t forget to pause on occasion and appreciate how far you’ve come too. You’ve been through a lot, and you’ve grown a lot. Give yourself credit for the steps you’ve taken, so you can step forward again with grace
the goal in the year ahead is to grow so strong on the inside that nothing on the outside can affect your inner wellness without your conscious permission.
It’s about letting go of fantasies, accepting reality, having faith in your journey, and appreciating all the little things that are within your reach.
As you continue to progress forward, do your best to avoid letting anyone or anything clutter your peace of mind. Live a life that moves you and makes you smile every day. Because you don’t want to get to the end, or to tomorrow even, and realize that your life is merely a collection of stressful expectations and “somedays” and errands and receipts and empty promises.
REMEMBER -
The Phoenix was burned to emerge!!!
much peace & Grace
Ed😀😉
Thank you Julia you touched on some things that I can totally resonate with. 💜
I understand what you're saying, some time I feel sad, but I think I'm glad with what I have, it could be worse.
So inspiring..God bless you!
Julia thank you for these videos, they are very helpful.
Listening to this made me think. I am guilty of several of these. I am happy that I’ve been wanting to see my son and his family so when I got there, I stayed in the moment. I helped when asked or saw something but I did well with not being in control mode/perfectionism. I had a great time and I believe this is thanks to the Shift Society. So when my son (32) suggested there was no way I’d go down the water slide with him, I was the first one up the slide. I played instead of controlled or should’ve myself. I was enjoying what I have. Will be more focused on that.
I really love your content, thanks for being so clear and dedicated to these subjects, I forward several of your videos to my wife!!! very useful thanks.
I’ve been watching you for a while now & love all you do! Thank you so much 😊
Hi Julia and any fellow Shifters here!
Great content, as usual!! What resonated most with me was the idea of "wanting what I have". Today it's sunshine, cool breeze, a day off and time to work out--with the bonus of being able to exercise outdoors (because for once it's not hot, humid or raining!!) Yay!! This is what I want today!!😁😁😁
I could feel gratitude in your list Kirsten
I like the part where you say that one need to look for the good in our lives now & enjoy it instead of waiting for the 'good' to happen. This is an eye opener! It is is very profound too. Thank you, Julia. - Ex-Member, Shift Society 💖
Thanks Julia❤️
Hello Julia Kristina Thank you.
love your channel
Made me realize something within myself. Like all your videos. Thank you and God bless all!
This is so amazing
Thank you!
Good info, most I know are not happy. Many live fairly large, families, etc. It's a major issue for sure.
This video is just a master piece of wisdom. Fully recommended. 🌸
I have been waay to hard on myself lately with my life, and not being where I should be. Came at the right time Julia!
Be good to you - okay? You deserve that from you.
Good morning sunshine ☀️
Love your videos
Well Spoken video,
"Toast and jam and nature shows and snuggles are classic examples that show us how to create a better and healthy future. Fill your life with moments like this and let go of the rest, work to fill your life with more of these things to allow a balance in your life.
I adore that Madame Julia Kristina is a toast and jam person, good quality too have.
I’m a new shifter. I wondered why I’m not that happy on the inside even though I appear that way on the outside. Thank you Julia.
Wow I can relate to all of these areas ! You’re amazing thank you ! I feel I need to start with the self care for sure, that is a constant thing I feel I need yet never get a chance to do :)
What's one small thing you can do for yourself today?
Think I will ride my motorcycle up to the mountains and just sit in peace :) Thank You for caring !
Love this; Free Therapy
Its been a struggle with lockdown due to covid 12 weeks. I try to keep routine and practice some of your suggestions such as daily gratitude journalling
So true everything is spot on🎯A little less than a year ago No matter what deep down inside I couldn’t and Wasn’t very happy.No matter what there was something missing.And what it was I needed to heal some childhood wounds.As well as I needed a peace of mind meaning not worry about other peoples problems or even my own at times.Because somethings are out of our control and once I excepted that I begin to be happy.I thought maybe I needed to do more See more experience more but know I actually just need peace in life to make me happy.When I used to be so consumed with work.I used to dream of the days that I can just do what I want throughout the day and when it finally was here I didn’t know what to do with myself.I had to think back of what I had always yearn for to appreciate that I finally can live in those moments that I didn’t think that I would be able to have.And now that my son is back in school and not doing school online.I’ve become even more happier to be able to have peaceful moments just doing nothing if I want or even taking a nap.I used to think that being on the go all the time brings happiness but now that I think back that only brought me a lot of stress that’s subconsciously I wasn’t aware of.And maybe I don’t get the same thrills out of life that I once did 10 years ago but I am getting older now and that is the reason why I thought that something was wrong with me for a while.I’m 42 next month 43 I don’t know why I would of thought that way at this ripe age😂But I did.Thanks Julia for all your Supportive videos and posts.Because I know for sure without you I would’ve been stuck mentally still for sure.I may have to gather up a lot of little things like philosophy and religion motivation Spirituality but the main factor is my mental health because without that I would’ve been interested in anything else.I think everything falls hand-in-hand but my mental space is the first place to start.Stay Blessed and ALWAYS best wishes to you&your family🙂
Thank you so much Kristina, your words have been so important to me,so many people need such words,a number of people are heart broken and what they need is the write person to speak to.your words have changed me personally. I wish I can join your family of the chef society.
Yes, join the Shift Society if you're able to! You'll get more indepth teaching on these issues especially how to manage your thoughts. And there are weekly live sessions and master classes that you can be a part of, as.well as a very nice Facebook group you can share your thoughts with!
Everything you are doing is so wonderful!
I would love to read a book of yours if you write one 💓💓
I liked the part about looking at what you have. I have reason to believe that it doesn't have to include material things. You didn't specifically say that it did. Also there's value in getting rid of things you don't use anymore.
That freeze screen photo makes me laugh… my teenagers would be in stitches… funny how a symbol of ‘okay’ can change to a new meaning by generational change… lol.
Awesome message… thanks for spreading the happy
It's nice to see you again.
You are a true Blessing
Toast with Peanut Butter and Jam is totally Your jam! 🤭😉☺️ I love that too! It's the little things that we do for ourselves that builds equity within our hearts, minds, body, spirit and soul. These tokens earned and learned must never be bargained for, sold, or given to underserving people. Those are Yours. Just for You. No one else.
We cheapen our lives with the routines we set in place to live our lives. We forget, that this bed, this plate, these are are empty, messy, or full because I want it this way; otherwise I would change my ways to fit my life. Perhaps as stern and harsh as this may seem, it's disciplined and chaotic, but organized.
WOWWWWWW!! I SO need you in my life !!!
My best friend a year or two ago was struggling with his mental health and he said to me, "Man, I have $20,000 in the bank you think Id be happy but Im not. How are you always so happy and you always bearly have a dime in your bank accouny?" I replied, "Because no amount of money can buy happiness you have to figure out what makes you happy and do that, With me knowing my bills are paid, my stomach is full, I have cloths on my back, and I succeeding in the world is what makes me happy. Thats why Im always so happy cause Im succeeding in life and tho I might not have any money saved up and living paycheck to paycheck but knowing Im succeeding in life and healthy makes me happy."
I'd be happy with 20,000 in the bank.
@@willowbrooks My only brings fake happiness
@@axlfox4048 huh?
@@willowbrooks Having a ton of money only gives you the feeling of happiness, True Happiness is priceless
I'm so tired of struggling can't go to the docs can't afford it.cantafford insurance....I can't afford to live right
I spent 25 years becoming an expert in my field just to discover that I hated it. My last day in the casino business was one of the best days of my life, I just didn't realize it at the time. Sometimes the best things that can happen to us seem like a catastrophe, but they are really a blessing.
Humans are supposed to be happy naturally, but the problem is we try too hard being unhappy🙏
So true........!!!! I’m struggling..........
Hi feel blue a lot with recovering from surgery and annoying not able to do things and our situation Covid so tried if it.
Your video is good.
What a coincidence... I was just thinking about my homeland of Orange Co., CA. (I lived there over 47yrs). You mentioned Disneyland... I use to go there all the time. I lived in Anaheim and I see the fireworks at my bedroom window everynight.
I'm so depressed because I had to leave Calif. 😞 I'm now living at another state for 12 yrs. that I don't like...it's a desert and my allergy 🤧 gets bad.
I sure miss: my friends, swimming in the Pacific Ocean, wonderful weather with beautiful flowers & palm trees everywhere.
I'm praying for a miracle to go back to CA and be happy again. I'm a 68 old Californian 😪.
Thanks & good job. I started seriously pursuing happiness when I retired. I started studying philosophy & psychology. I tried to rebuild my life based on Maslow's Hierarchy, but now I think evolutionary psychology may be a better approach. We are animals after all. Think about it. We have it much better than animals. Why are rates of depression rising? Toxic culture (conspicuous consumption/narcissism)? 🤔😕😉
Julia K., you will hate this but as someone long aligned with mgtow philosophy your style of positive psychology is what we try to encourage in men and within myself. You are educated, responsible and ethical with your content; I tend to use your videos as a health check, this was no exception.
I mention this now, because for men chasing a philosophy such as mine it isn't our ideal, far from the romance imagined. Grieving the loss, be it real or perceived, means facing what you will never get, as such happiness can be hard to find afterward. It would be easy to add to this list with say nihilism but let's just include that within your last point; your observations were sound. Waking up the unhappy and moving them towards acceptance in the imperfect is a gift in the modern age.
Living in the moment is the one thing I badly need to do
Hi Julia.. I'm trying to retire from my job but I cannot afford it.. it weighs heavy on my mind, looking for alternatives but I can't let it go.. I have been listening to u for hrs and you are amazing.. any insight pls let me know, thks as always, take good care too!!
I most of the used to think that whatever I’m doing or saying it’s not good enough, thinking if I say it is good then I won’t be able to get better, kindly share your advice
I’m happy but still haven’t arrived yet. I always want more.
Julia, i am rather curious... have you read The Book Of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi?
What is your opinion on his 21 principles (named Dokkodo) as presented in the book, from your perspective as a mental heal professional?
Another explanation is that the world overall is not a happy place, and if you relate to that authentically and with eyes wide open, there is no need to judge your own feelings if you aren’t “happy.” You may want to think instead about seeking authentic satisfaction and moments of peace and contentment.
Back again, Nalin
Are u talking about "Brads status"?
You are from the same place as Joni Mitchell!
Why you are not happy :
1- perfectionism let or decide that good enough is good enough .perfect is a promise never delivered
2-you do not take care of yourself .Get connected to yourself and rest and just be and exist. Recharge
3-Forgetting your wants and you forgot about it. Like a travel or seeing someone or anything and then you get it but you forgot how much you wanted it and enjoy it. Simply you forgot you got what you wanted.
4- waiting for something to happen. Decide that life is good enough and you have bad and good stuff going on at any stage in life. Connect with what is good intentionally.
5-Manage your expectations about life. Truth is most human life are regular and some are so good or so bad. Create more joy by creating more thoughts about your life that make you feel happy. You are not missing so much .
6-It might be that There are some unresolved resentment shame hurt pain anger that cloud your happiness
Salve Doctore. Gratis.
I will never be happy, I absolutely hate life. I just exist.
"I have everything I want and I'm still not happy" That's because money cannot buy happiness. Once someone has enough money that they feel secure, more money is not the answer.
Who is she talking about - job - house - partner - money - things - etc. ,, I have none of that
😭😭😭😭😭😭exactly me .........( well what advice do you have for a germ Afobe during a pandemic ?????)........no, to medication.......no vax ( bad reactions)...........🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️🌿
Right now, I'm extremely frustrated with my 50 year old aunt continuing to let my goddamn grandmother boss her around.
How about RACISM!!!! Julia?Dont you think most people would be happy if at all the world knew that actually all people are the same regardless of the skin colour?
try to make my life as useless as possible. How else can I understand ....
Our country is falling apart, women's basic human rights are under attack, as is our democracy. Why should we even be happy? Isn't that a little self-indulgent and self-absorbed right now?
So, are you ok?
No, it's not wrong to find the joy in life. There are always bad things in the world, and feeling awful and not allowing yourself to enjoy the good, won't help anyone! Maybe try to reach out and help someone else--that can make a difference and also bring you a sense of purpose and some joy.
@@kirstenvzumba9246 well said and i Applaud you.To many misguided and pessimistic people in our crazy world.We have to be the change we want to see in the world😀
You need Jesus. God is with you when it's quiet.
American politics is why I'm not happy.
So inspiring..God bless you!
Why you are not happy :
1- perfectionism let or decide that good enough is good enough .perfect is a promise never delivered
2-you do not take care of yourself .Get connected to yourself and rest and just be and exist. Recharge
3-Forgetting your wants and you forgot about it. Like a travel or seeing someone or anything and then you get it but you forgot how much you wanted it and enjoy it. Simply you forgot you got what you wanted.
4- waiting for something to happen. Decide that life is good enough and you have bad and good stuff going on at any stage in life. Connect with what is good intentionally.
5-Manage your expectations about life. Truth is most human life are regular and some are so good or so bad. Create more joy by creating more thoughts about your life that make you feel happy. You are not missing so much .
6-It might be that There are some unresolved resentment shame hurt pain anger that cloud your happiness