"i feel like queerness informs your relationship not only to yourself and love, but your relationships with friends, with the world, with your art. the experience of queerness to me is listening to the inside of yourself for information about who you want to be in the world, rather than listening outside for who you should be on the inside." wow.
this is so so good. I hope you know, there are many young queer people who have so much gratitude for you're transparency. Thank you for speaking about queerness in such a beautifully wide and full way. Relationships are often spoken about with such dissection, assigning more and more roles and lots of weight. Rather than spoken with love and emphasising the beauty of sharing such an experience with someone.
as someone who is questioning their sexuality and holding fear about it, this video is comforting and helpful in recognizing this part of my self. thank you hitomi!
New subscriber here. So I’m a mid-30s disabled virgin who has never been on an official date with or kissed a woman do to my confidence and self-esteem issues related to my physical disability. Unfortunately, this topic isn’t respectfully discussed in our society in general, especially not around the disabled community. Through reading, listening to podcasts, and watching videos like this, I’ve begun to learn a lot about my sexuality. I’ve learned a ton from going down a learning rabbit hole in which I discovered the ENM culture. I absolutely love what the alternative culture teaches overall. Since discovering this, I don’t believe monogamy will work for me as well as I once thought it would. Long story short, videos like this one / your work are needed within my community and greatly appreciated!! Thank you more than I could ever explain for discussing this!! Please keep going with your work!!
This morning I had this sudden feeling while driving to work, “I think I need to be with a woman”. I opened RUclips and saw this video released at the exact time I was driving! I currently have a male partner and the sexual part of the relationship has never been comfortable for me despite best efforts. I’m so glad you released this video, after struggling with having the courage to explore my own sexuality listening to conversations like this help so much. ❤️ thank you again Hitomi for your constant evolving wisdom , beauty and love !
Many people are uncomfortable talking about your topic in this video. I, for one, shiver or clam up at the mention of sex, but I realize talking about it is vital to our health and wellbeing. Thank you for expressing yourself in such a courageous and revealing manner without shame. Being physically intimate with another person is more than just a physical act. You are also sharing a special inner part of you. Embracing your own sexuality the way you do means feeling comfortable and confident about sexual inclinations and activities. This involves recognizing shame, accepting your sexual desires, and thinking about the biological nature of sex. Please accept my appreciation for you for being so bold and beautiful. Thank you for talking "dirty" and baring your soul !!!
Just started this - only 6 minutes in - and you’ve already made me smile so much. You’ve been my biggest RUclips girl crush since I first found your channel, and you talking about how you’ve been attracted to/hooking up with girls since around the same time as guys made me feel so seen. It was the same for me, and I’ve always been attracted to both as long as I can remember. As I get older, I have noticed that I am more attracted to women though, despite being in a monogamous relationship with a man. Wow. Can’t wait to listen to more later after my errands. Always love your vibe and your honesty, and your ability to talk about things that might seem “taboo” to others.
"the experience of queerness to me is listening to the inside of yourself for information about who you want to be in the world, rather than listening outside for information of who you should be on the inside" i think this is so so powerful and important and it really resonated with me!! thank you hitomi for everything you do and the way you communicate
*girl...... i needed this video right now more than words can express. it's almost eerie how spot on it is right now in my life. thank you, thank you, thank you*
This timing is so… Im so happy to get a video so aligned with my current situation and with thoughts I keep feeling impostor syndrome about… I have just come out of a 4 year heterosexual relationship I’m not completely sure I chose to be in and now that I’m able to explore my queerness it feels so exciting yet daunting all at once so this video is so comforting. Thank youu its so nice to be able to connect through this video and through this comment section
The fact that you’ve put this video out into the world in this divine timing is insane.. I’ve just fallen in love with a woman for the first time after having a few experiences with women previously.. our first few sexual experiences were beautiful but slightly daunting for me as I’ve never been fully in love with a girly before where as she’s been lesbian most of her life! Love the tips, love your openness and simply love you!!! I’ve identified as pan for the last few years but really found that I’m resonating with queer after watching this!! You’re so comforting to watch Hitomi, I’ve been here for about 6 years and finish each video feeling truly inspired. So much love to you & the beautiful queer community your guiding and inspiring by creating this ❤
i really loved this video! i did want to add that asexuality is an identity that means not experiencing sexual desires or sexual attraction to anyone. like the road that tells you that you want to be intimate with someone just isnt connected. of course there are a bunch of different other identities in the asexuality spectrum but i just wanted to add that bc i know it isnt widely talked about or understood! so saying ur in a asexuality could be potentially invalidating to ace individuals as well as add to the narrative that being ace is just a phase or a choice. i hope that makes sense! thank you for the time and energy you put into this video 🩷🩷🩷
Your such a been of light that no matter the topic I can’t help but listen so intently and I feel like you ground me at times I feel overwhelmed no matter the subject. The way you explain things in detail is just incredible and I deeply appreciate it. I only hope I get to meet you someday
Hitomi I feel like god is speaking to me through you. I hooked up with a girl for the first time wearing a little brown Lacey top and boom the next day there is this video with you wearing a brown Lacey top. Thank you for all your help and healing. I trust you so deeply.
In my bisexuality I've noticed these waves where I swing more one way or the other. And rn I'm again in this period when I'm in need of wlw content, experiences etc. There's just smth about it that I can't be without for too long. Just like you mentioned, even in a potential relationship with a man I need to keep an open door for women in my life. Isn't that funny how sexuality works. I like how fluid it is, how it's a constant discovery of you you are❤
I think this is a great video, but just wanted to comment on one thing. I get kind of frustrated when people say that bisexuality is not inclusive. While I do hear where they are coming from, it is always people outside of the bi community telling us that we are not inclusive and leaves us having to defend ourselves. Being involved in bi spaces and talking with my bi friends, I have never heard any of them exclude trans, nb, and gender queer people from their attraction. While I am sure there are people who identify as bi and exclude certain people, it definitely is a minority. People claim that bi means two genders, but historically and currently it just isn't an accurate definition of bisexuality. The vast majority of us agree with the idea that the duality in bisexuality refers to the attraction to people the same as us and people different from us. Homo meaning same, hetero meaning different. Bisexuals face a lot of discrimination and erasure both outside of and within the LGBTQ+ community and I just want to clear up this common and damaging misconception.
has anyone ever felt like they don‘t want to come out to certain people? not because of possible judgement but rather because you just don‘t want to share this part of you with them? because that‘s how i‘m currently feeling and it‘s difficult, because i want to come out to certain people but don‘t want other certain people to know.
I’m currently reading Polysecure as well! I love sex positive literature and learning is helping me as I delve into my queerness after being in relationships with men throughout my entire dating scene. Thank you Hitomi for being so honest and gracious with us. 💓🌸
Omg I needed this conversation sooo much 😭 the part about doubting my attraction to girls bc of my trauma around men, and the fact that I can imagine not being with men but I can't imagine not being with women (even though I'm bisexual)!! I still don't understand what that means for me completely but still it's so healing to hear someone else's experience💖 thank you so much.
I just love the way you talk about being lgbtq with so much ease, love and acceptance. I’ve been following your channel since 2021 i think, and when i found out you were queer i was so amazed. I felt so understood and grateful for this safe space you’ve created here. Honestly it’s awesome how much love and light you express❤❤
Hitomi please start a podcast...I'd listen to you everyday....this are convos many people talk about shyly...but you put your feelings and still link spirituality to it❤❤❤❤ Please start a podcast 😀 I'd listen to you all day...your energy is just mwaaah ❤
U are definitely so helpful my dear angel✨thank u for always hold space and make me realize so much not just about spirituality but also humanity and the little battles as young and queer person. Keep doing u, I wish I could hug u!!
These are very helpful. I feel so much shame around sex and my body. Part of it is OCD but it affects my menstruation and now I feel it affecting my hips. I know you talked about vaginismus (I think that’s how it’s spelled) before and I struggle with it too :( This year one of my goals is to work on connecting with my body and releasing shame.
Just wanted to say I relate to your comment so so much (I also experience OCD and vaginismus), wishing you all the best in working on releasing shame and embodying your truest self ❤
literally in shock, felt like you genuinely reached into my mind with the whole "where im at with my sexuality" part, every single word. feel like we are always spiritually in synch, thank you so much for speaking your soul in every video
I feel like in society it's expected that if you're queer you should just know everything. But I like this idea of "stumbling around in the dark" and your openness to the way you learned about yourself. Humans are beautiful and I love that you are shedding light on that
this felt earth shattering to me as someone with so few queer people around me. hearing someone explain sexuality in a way that hits so close to home. i have spent so long fearing men while still being attracted to them but never dating them. i feel safe with women, even when women have hurt me the most when it comes to romantic relationships and the men i have dated have been nothing but doting. a million times prefer dating women but always wonder if i am unconsciously running from healing my masculine wounds. it also doesn't help that when i picture dating a man everything feels so heteronormative and instrumental and it makes me wanna crawl out of my skinnnnnn lol and immediately as i typed that out she said something to the same effect GIRL T-T so reallllll and beautiful❤
Alternative terms for bisexuality also frequently imply that bisexuality and attraction to nonbinary people are mutually exclusive, even though most of bisexual activism throughout our community’s history centered around inclusion and breaking down gender barriers. Historically, bisexual communities have often been safe havens for transgender people. Bisexuals have been describing their attraction in broad, gender-expansive ways and advocating for transgender rights and inclusion for decades. Even if we say “bi” means “two genders” (it doesn’t, we’ve been saying “bi” means “all/regardless of gender” for fifty years). Bisexuality is inherently inclusive of everyone, regardless of sex or gender.
I hear that, and I definitely want to understand bi activism more, as I don’t know much. But I will say, as gender noncomforming - transmasc leaning person, I do find discomfort in the assumptions that exist from the general public when people express themselves as bisexual. I think with the prefix bi - meaning 2 - it feels a bit rigid for me personally. My partner has even taken on the identity of “queer” rather than “bi” because of this. I’m not saying that this is the case for everyone, but because when someone says bi, the common understand is 2 genders, it feels like there isn’t much room for me to exist there
i identify as bi (sometimes queer) and see "bisexual" as following the same logic as how "hetero" means "different" and "homo" means "alike" - I simply like people who are both alike and different from myself.
Deep thanks for this love letter to queerness in underrepresented forms hitomi 🌺 the resonance I felt in my heart when you mentioned reaching a conclusion of your queerness being pure within you… I’ve had such a journey with the unfolding of my queerness and you’ve been a beautiful companion that I felt like has given me drops of light wisdom along the way. From being bullied for being a lesbian before I even knew what that meant to my mum telling me it was disgusting that I had kissed a girl to male partners belittling my queerness “but your with a man”… I’ve now found my queer community, I’m safe and safety in sensual intimacy with both partners (no matter their flavour of being) and with life is like finding the first peach of the season… a gift. I’ve turned to the freeing page in my story that now reads “I love who I love” ❤
Every word you’ve written here is so kismet to my life. To be you and love who you love is the most beautiful thing we can do as human. As our hearts are squishy and not stone, why should we box ourselves in and refrain from loving who our hearts desire. I wish you peace on your journey that is life, and than you again for being here.
i've been watching your vids here and there when they've popped up the past few months but i couldn't not sub after this one. your vulnerability and transparency is so admirable. your sprit is so strong. i'm just so grateful i've found your content! sending love
queerness to me is being pure and honoring who i am and the root of me. it's colorful and beautiful and feels like the nectar that is in the folds of a flower. i'm only 11 minutes in and yes yes yes to what you've shared so far. i had the same realization, how the thought of settling down with a man sounds quite boring honestly but it's the oppositie when i think about that with women. i began embracing my queerness a little less than a year ago. i always knew it was there but i grew up born-again christian so you can imagine the mental gymnastics and inner repression i went through. i've honestly fallen in love with my queerness/being queer. it's magic. i had a few dates with a beautiful person in madrid last month and i'm still not over us holding hands on our second date walking to the metro.
Awwhh, thats so cuteee, im so happy for you you had lovely dates ❤🥰. And yess I feel the same, settling down with a men feels or at least looks boring in my mind. With a women I think it can be so much fun, or maybe with anyone regarding their gender. But I resonate with that part you mentoined
The mental gymnastics that you mentioned from being raised as a Christian is so true in all regards. It honestly feels like a hurdle that has to be overcome, some are given a head start in the track to run, but others like myself have been so afraid to overcome it and as each year goes by the hurdle become taller and taller-like an unsurmountable feet. It’s so beautiful seeing others accept who they truly are and I find you to be such a huge inspiration for me on my journey to acceptance.
Thank you so much! In my culture it is shameful to talk about sex, so I always felt awkward about this topic, the same with touching my body and imagining me with other people. I’ve never had sex, and learning more about it through your videos opens my eyes. I understand that it is totally normal to have sexual desires and have sex. Thank you again so much!!! I always learn from you!!
thank you for this video. I'm a queer but I've mostly been with men in my past, because of so many reasons (easier to find straight men than queer women, internalized homophobia, imposter syndrome, fear of the unknown in regards to dating women & sex) and I've just recently started going to dates with women and it's really scary & beautiful & wonderful at the same time
Thank you very much for speaking at the beginning of the video about exploring your sexuality and the lack of necessity to label oneself. I've struggled with this recently since I've always been attracted to men before I started dating my ex girlfriend and I wasn't ready to have a "coming out" because I truly feel like attraction and sexuality are such a fluid thing for me; I like to say that my experiences define it and I'm attracted to people, not genders/I don't have specific patterns. To hear it from someone else was important for me 🌱
thank you so much for this. i’ve been looking for videos like this because i don’t have any queer people in my life. i really needed this. it felt like a big sister chat thank you!!
Thank you so much. ❤️ I just came out as a lesbian earlier this month and this video means a lot. Excited to work on accepting myself this year and just loving life and the people around me. Everything feels so free! 🌱💫 What a beautiful community to be a part of.
Hitomi thank you so much for your gift, presence and videos and just for being you! I’ve been *slowly* giving myself permission to explore women (in *every* aspect) and this was a beautiful, gentle nudge to push me deeper into my permissions and letting go of fear
i absolutely love listening to you speak and express yourself fully, this channel is such a safe haven to me. but as a bi girly it may be just me but it still hurts my heart that bisexuality is still seen as "less inclusive" yet it's origins are that of a fluid identity and i'm sure you didn't mean anything by it & the identity itself just doesn't resonate with you but it still stings to hear "less inclusive" bc of how misunderstood/ stigmatized it is. But still I love that you're putting this beautiful important content out there I know so many of us are grateful for this as an affirmation in our sexuality💖
i think she was coming from the place that some people think bi doesn't include dating trans people because bi only means two, so some people assume it's only your gender, or the opposite gender. mostly just language semantics and i think more people are starting to learn being bi means u could like anyone
everyone should identify how they feel most comfortable! I’d just like to add as a PSA though that pansexual does not always have to mean an attraction to personalities rather than gender, all it truly means is an attraction to all genders usually without preference. bisexual also does not inherently exclude non-binary people, it means attraction to two OR MORE genders sometimes with a preference. sometimes misconceptions about these sexualities can perpetuate biphobia or transphobia, or prevent someone from identifying as something they resonate with bc they think they don’t fit the definition properly. or use language that seems to imply some feeling of moral superiority. so I always like to clarify these misconceptions when possible 🫶🏼
I felt so seen when you talked about having an innate fear of men... I have that even though I have mostly dated men all my life (with a few notable exceptions☺) and now at the age of 39 I just don't want to deal with them anymore. I'm told I have to heal from that, and i'm just running away from this issue, but what if I'm just done? I like women too and the older I get the more I realize that I may actually prefer women. It's so complicated right now. I'm grateful for this video❤
I love this video so much! Thank you for sharing your experiences. The part that really got me was about thinking that your attraction to women is due to an innate fear of men. I resonate with this a lot, and I even questioned myself if I actually like women (I do) or if it’s to avoid men. I thought of how to heal that “masculine wound”, but I have a great relationships and am really close with my brother, my dad and my male relatives, and I also get along well with my male coworkers. Even though I can get along with men (I also have had some unpleasant experiences with them aswell), the thought of doing anything intimate with them makes me uncomfortable, and I also get extremely anxious when a male has a crush on me and wants to pursue me, however I don’t get anxious when a woman feels that way towards me. And the way that I view being married to a woman as freeing, vs being married to a man as being tied down for the rest of my life is interesting. So I have come to the conclusion that my attraction to women is valid and real and is not to avoid men, however I don’t label myself even though the label “lesbian” feels more accurate than “bisexual” I’m still not quite sure on that.
Woah… I really appreciate this voiced 🥹 I grew up in denial even though I’d always make out with other teenage girls growing up… finally at 22 came to accept and realized omg im pansexual … went back and front going am I lesbian because I prefer women? Yet men pursue me so hard so I would only date them if I was allowed to be gay and date women …. Yet I respect women so much bc I know what it’s like and want them to feel safe in my presence yet I’m a fem /androgynous yet fem appearing who is a simp for fems yet my future and deepest longing is with a spiritual revolutionary woman who’s devoted to growth and evolving and helping making the world a better place. I ended my last relationship with a guy really feeling like I was finally ready to admit I’m fully queer and my greatest dream is to be with a conscious woman. These talks help. I’ve never heard anyone I relate with on the subject so much, thank you
Wow this video really makes me wanna get deeper and deeper into myself, double and triple checking if there is something inside of me that also wants to have these experiences. Thank you so much for sharing. 😊
As I did my morning practice today I manifested that you would drop. I have been spending my evenings watching lesbian films on RUclips and getting more comfy with my sexuality. This video is divine and right on time...I didnt even mean to rhyme lmao. I LOVE YOU HITOMI
Even though I've been sure about my queerness for a decade the phrase "exploring my sexuality" still resonates with me ? Probably due to my lack of experience I would still define this phase of my life as "exploring" and I think its beautiful - like figuring out how I love people
Right now I am sexually attracted to men, but I don’t want to date them. Like you mention it is because of the trauma I was left with my last situationship. With girls I am attracted to them in a romantic way and I feel like their energy is something else, I could date them but I am still questioning if I would have sex with a woman. I need to find the confidence to start dating one, thank you so much for this video because I feel like many of us might be going through something similar! This video made me feel comfortable ❤
yess starting to date women can feel a little scary, I feel you. think thats what you mean by finding the confidence? I hope you find nice love ❤And I understand you about the traumatized part, ouch sounds painfull though. Hope you can process it well ❤🩹😘
Thank you !!! Everytime I watch your videos... It makes me feel good about what i think, feel in my body/soul and it is so soothing. I really like this one, because I don't have a lot of queer people in my life right now and even if i have a great partner, who is receptive and a great listener... sometimes it is difficult to talk to someone who is " 100% straight " (sorry for the terms/grammar... my mother tongue is French). I send you love in your journey
Thank you for sharing as always. I tend to feel anxious about sex & related topics sometimes, so it’s great to have you taking about it in such an accepting and kind way! I hope that learning more about it and accepting my body and voicing desires will help
Thank you for this video and talking about being flirtatious with all of life and people of all sorts. It explains your energy with Isabel. I've wondered what that was about.
This really helped me. I’ve never had a relationship with anyone but I’ve always imagined myself with a woman. Something about having an intimate relationship with a female just seems right.
i love the content you put out, truly. i needed to stop this video a couple of times to process my thoughts and feelings. i am not as brave as you are, my life as a not heterosexual woman in a conservative eastern european country is peculiar. but i saw myself in many things you said. i love your take on one's relationship with queerness. my heart is full, and i want to thank you for it :)
just watched my first video of yours about the cycle syncing life which i love to do, developed a lil crush and now im here. happy to see a fellow queer on their journey and it also makes my crush even bigger! :) sending luvvv
I'm not queer, or a woman, but being with women is the greatest gift. Beyond attraction to their physical bodies and facial features, they're just so rich in personality, energy, and dreams. Even if I were into men, I have yet in my 38 years seen proof that a man can be the versatile, kindhearted, wild, unapologetically kinky and vast spirit that women are. Plus, as you said, women are immensely hot. They're the beautiful humans. ❤ Thank you for sharing your authentic truth, Hitomi. It's the greatest gift to us all, and especially yourself.
The fun thing about being queer is that it's really easy to compare notes. I'm a happily cisgendered man, and I love hanging with NBs because they've got such a unique perspective on gender. I'm also bisexual and very much taking notes from 26:00 on. This is some good shit.
I had a talk with my aunt and we talked about how women are like "infinite"pound of love and men just tend to take it. That's why we can easily leave without men but they tend to have a harder time living alone. So when women are together they give each other love, like infinite love. I thought that it was really amazing!
I am always amazed on how open you are. I love the vibes you have and how you present yourself. It’s always an enjoyable video, thanks for sharing. ❤❤❤
IVE BEEN WAITING FOR U TO UPLOAD. I love you hitomi 🥰🥰 and you’ve helped me grow internally so much and honestly you changed me in the best way possible and thank you for existing
ohh i loved this!! thank you so much hitomi you're wonderful :)) i wish i had friends with whom i could have open convos about sex bc sharing experineces is so important ! especially when conditioned so much shame and wrongness around pleasure..also as someone from a non english speaking world, who also had to find myself mostly with online comunities aka english speaking world, queer is the best world ! for me personally it feel so safe and comforting! i have thought about bisexuality also but for some reason it just feel like a label maybe bc of all the media that is curated "for" it, whereas queer is so broad that there arem as you said no boundries ( i think tthat is the same for most of non straight relationships but over the years we've gotten so many tropes and takes ) . love you and thak you for the way you exist!
This video definitely explains how i feel... thinking i'm lesbian, but also attracted to men but scared of men; not being able to imagine myself married to a man with kids but wanting to spend my life with a woman huh realizing you're queer is not always easy, you want a label but none of them feels right and then you just continue wondering/exploring forever...
Thanks for posting this right as I'm starting out in my first queer romantic and sexual relationship 🎉 binged all your other videos about this the other day.
Thank you so much for this video. I can so relate especially with the look into the future and that envisioning myself with a man just doesn't feel the same as with a woman. But we'll see what the future holds for us. 🌈🎉
What a beautiful video, thank you for talking about this. I can relate so much to this. 🥰 If you ever find yourself in Copenhagen, I would love to drink coffee with you, draw, talk, walk, being. Lots of love to you
you mentioned not feeling like an "expert" on queer sex ... I actually think most queer women/ppl feel the same though! We are so rarely taught about our own pleasure, and many queer ppl feel "behind" in sexual experiences. so thank you for sharing so honestly!!
Every video she makes, no matter the topic, is so comforting and nurturing
Real
great insight
"i feel like queerness informs your relationship not only to yourself and love, but your relationships with friends, with the world, with your art. the experience of queerness to me is listening to the inside of yourself for information about who you want to be in the world, rather than listening outside for who you should be on the inside."
wow.
this is so so good. I hope you know, there are many young queer people who have so much gratitude for you're transparency. Thank you for speaking about queerness in such a beautifully wide and full way. Relationships are often spoken about with such dissection, assigning more and more roles and lots of weight. Rather than spoken with love and emphasising the beauty of sharing such an experience with someone.
as someone who is questioning their sexuality and holding fear about it, this video is comforting and helpful in recognizing this part of my self. thank you hitomi!
New subscriber here. So I’m a mid-30s disabled virgin who has never been on an official date with or kissed a woman do to my confidence and self-esteem issues related to my physical disability. Unfortunately, this topic isn’t respectfully discussed in our society in general, especially not around the disabled community. Through reading, listening to podcasts, and watching videos like this, I’ve begun to learn a lot about my sexuality. I’ve learned a ton from going down a learning rabbit hole in which I discovered the ENM culture. I absolutely love what the alternative culture teaches overall. Since discovering this, I don’t believe monogamy will work for me as well as I once thought it would. Long story short, videos like this one / your work are needed within my community and greatly appreciated!! Thank you more than I could ever explain for discussing this!! Please keep going with your work!!
Lmao is this a troll post? You are a virgin but have decided ‘monogamy will not work for you’
Oh brother 😂
33:13 ‘It feels like Sex can be happening from the very beginning of the day until the end in the way you are asking, giving and receiving …’ 😮💨
This morning I had this sudden feeling while driving to work, “I think I need to be with a woman”. I opened RUclips and saw this video released at the exact time I was driving! I currently have a male partner and the sexual part of the relationship has never been comfortable for me despite best efforts. I’m so glad you released this video, after struggling with having the courage to explore my own sexuality listening to conversations like this help so much. ❤️ thank you again Hitomi for your constant evolving wisdom , beauty and love !
i relate so much, i have been with my bf for a year and a half but i keep wishing i could be with a girl
Many people are uncomfortable talking about your topic in this video. I, for one, shiver or clam up at the mention of sex, but I realize talking about it is vital to our health and wellbeing. Thank you for expressing yourself in such a courageous and revealing manner without shame. Being physically intimate with another person is more than just a physical act. You are also sharing a special inner part of you. Embracing your own sexuality the way you do means feeling comfortable and confident about sexual inclinations and activities. This involves recognizing shame, accepting your sexual desires, and thinking about the biological nature of sex. Please accept my appreciation for you for being so bold and beautiful. Thank you for talking "dirty" and baring your soul !!!
Just started this - only 6 minutes in - and you’ve already made me smile so much. You’ve been my biggest RUclips girl crush since I first found your channel, and you talking about how you’ve been attracted to/hooking up with girls since around the same time as guys made me feel so seen. It was the same for me, and I’ve always been attracted to both as long as I can remember. As I get older, I have noticed that I am more attracted to women though, despite being in a monogamous relationship with a man.
Wow. Can’t wait to listen to more later after my errands. Always love your vibe and your honesty, and your ability to talk about things that might seem “taboo” to others.
"the experience of queerness to me is listening to the inside of yourself for information about who you want to be in the world, rather than listening outside for information of who you should be on the inside" i think this is so so powerful and important and it really resonated with me!! thank you hitomi for everything you do and the way you communicate
I love seeing you step into this part of your life and seeing you talk about it openly is very comforting and beautiful ✨💜
*girl...... i needed this video right now more than words can express. it's almost eerie how spot on it is right now in my life. thank you, thank you, thank you*
This timing is so… Im so happy to get a video so aligned with my current situation and with thoughts I keep feeling impostor syndrome about… I have just come out of a 4 year heterosexual relationship I’m not completely sure I chose to be in and now that I’m able to explore my queerness it feels so exciting yet daunting all at once so this video is so comforting. Thank youu its so nice to be able to connect through this video and through this comment section
This is exactly how I felt once I saw that this video was uploaded. Perfect timing, for sure. Very affirming. ✨
@@ewwxxblahhaffirming is the perfect word!
you should make a podcast 🥺🥺
YES! Absolutely agree @hitomi please make a podcast
Im pretty sure its on its way :)
The fact that you’ve put this video out into the world in this divine timing is insane.. I’ve just fallen in love with a woman for the first time after having a few experiences with women previously.. our first few sexual experiences were beautiful but slightly daunting for me as I’ve never been fully in love with a girly before where as she’s been lesbian most of her life!
Love the tips, love your openness and simply love you!!!
I’ve identified as pan for the last few years but really found that I’m resonating with queer after watching this!!
You’re so comforting to watch Hitomi, I’ve been here for about 6 years and finish each video feeling truly inspired.
So much love to you & the beautiful queer community your guiding and inspiring by creating this ❤
i really loved this video! i did want to add that asexuality is an identity that means not experiencing sexual desires or sexual attraction to anyone. like the road that tells you that you want to be intimate with someone just isnt connected. of course there are a bunch of different other identities in the asexuality spectrum but i just wanted to add that bc i know it isnt widely talked about or understood! so saying ur in a asexuality could be potentially invalidating to ace individuals as well as add to the narrative that being ace is just a phase or a choice. i hope that makes sense! thank you for the time and energy you put into this video 🩷🩷🩷
Your such a been of light that no matter the topic I can’t help but listen so intently and I feel like you ground me at times I feel overwhelmed no matter the subject. The way you explain things in detail is just incredible and I deeply appreciate it. I only hope I get to meet you someday
Hitomi I feel like god is speaking to me through you. I hooked up with a girl for the first time wearing a little brown Lacey top and boom the next day there is this video with you wearing a brown Lacey top. Thank you for all your help and healing. I trust you so deeply.
These videos so often come when I am grappling with these very questions. Thank you Hitomi for being so unabashedly yourself
In my bisexuality I've noticed these waves where I swing more one way or the other. And rn I'm again in this period when I'm in need of wlw content, experiences etc. There's just smth about it that I can't be without for too long. Just like you mentioned, even in a potential relationship with a man I need to keep an open door for women in my life. Isn't that funny how sexuality works. I like how fluid it is, how it's a constant discovery of you you are❤
You guys are never gonna attract a guy who worth a damn always you'll find a simp
“Gaze at the world together in awe” thank you hitomi❤ i too only crave for this kind closeness.
I think this is a great video, but just wanted to comment on one thing. I get kind of frustrated when people say that bisexuality is not inclusive. While I do hear where they are coming from, it is always people outside of the bi community telling us that we are not inclusive and leaves us having to defend ourselves. Being involved in bi spaces and talking with my bi friends, I have never heard any of them exclude trans, nb, and gender queer people from their attraction. While I am sure there are people who identify as bi and exclude certain people, it definitely is a minority. People claim that bi means two genders, but historically and currently it just isn't an accurate definition of bisexuality. The vast majority of us agree with the idea that the duality in bisexuality refers to the attraction to people the same as us and people different from us. Homo meaning same, hetero meaning different. Bisexuals face a lot of discrimination and erasure both outside of and within the LGBTQ+ community and I just want to clear up this common and damaging misconception.
has anyone ever felt like they don‘t want to come out to certain people? not because of possible judgement but rather because you just don‘t want to share this part of you with them? because that‘s how i‘m currently feeling and it‘s difficult, because i want to come out to certain people but don‘t want other certain people to know.
I’m currently reading Polysecure as well! I love sex positive literature and learning is helping me as I delve into my queerness after being in relationships with men throughout my entire dating scene.
Thank you Hitomi for being so honest and gracious with us. 💓🌸
Omg I needed this conversation sooo much 😭 the part about doubting my attraction to girls bc of my trauma around men, and the fact that I can imagine not being with men but I can't imagine not being with women (even though I'm bisexual)!! I still don't understand what that means for me completely but still it's so healing to hear someone else's experience💖 thank you so much.
I just love the way you talk about being lgbtq with so much ease, love and acceptance. I’ve been following your channel since 2021 i think, and when i found out you were queer i was so amazed. I felt so understood and grateful for this safe space you’ve created here. Honestly it’s awesome how much love and light you express❤❤
She's not "lgbtq". She's gay (or bi. Whatever.) She has no confusion about whether she's a woman or not.
you be posting about this topic when i in the mids of me figuring out my sexuality?! thank youuuuuuuu
Hitomi please start a podcast...I'd listen to you everyday....this are convos many people talk about shyly...but you put your feelings and still link spirituality to it❤❤❤❤
Please start a podcast 😀
I'd listen to you all day...your energy is just mwaaah ❤
U are definitely so helpful my dear angel✨thank u for always hold space and make me realize so much not just about spirituality but also humanity and the little battles as young and queer person. Keep doing u, I wish I could hug u!!
These are very helpful. I feel so much shame around sex and my body. Part of it is OCD but it affects my menstruation and now I feel it affecting my hips. I know you talked about vaginismus (I think that’s how it’s spelled) before and I struggle with it too :(
This year one of my goals is to work on connecting with my body and releasing shame.
Just wanted to say I relate to your comment so so much (I also experience OCD and vaginismus), wishing you all the best in working on releasing shame and embodying your truest self ❤
literally in shock, felt like you genuinely reached into my mind with the whole "where im at with my sexuality" part, every single word. feel like we are always spiritually in synch, thank you so much for speaking your soul in every video
I feel like in society it's expected that if you're queer you should just know everything. But I like this idea of "stumbling around in the dark" and your openness to the way you learned about yourself. Humans are beautiful and I love that you are shedding light on that
this felt earth shattering to me as someone with so few queer people around me. hearing someone explain sexuality in a way that hits so close to home. i have spent so long fearing men while still being attracted to them but never dating them. i feel safe with women, even when women have hurt me the most when it comes to romantic relationships and the men i have dated have been nothing but doting. a million times prefer dating women but always wonder if i am unconsciously running from healing my masculine wounds. it also doesn't help that when i picture dating a man everything feels so heteronormative and instrumental and it makes me wanna crawl out of my skinnnnnn lol and immediately as i typed that out she said something to the same effect GIRL T-T so reallllll and beautiful❤
Alternative terms for bisexuality also frequently imply that bisexuality and attraction to nonbinary people are mutually exclusive, even though most of bisexual activism throughout our community’s history centered around inclusion and breaking down gender barriers.
Historically, bisexual communities have often been safe havens for transgender people. Bisexuals have been describing their attraction in broad, gender-expansive ways and advocating for transgender rights and inclusion for decades. Even if we say “bi” means “two genders” (it doesn’t, we’ve been saying “bi” means “all/regardless of gender” for fifty years). Bisexuality is inherently inclusive of everyone, regardless of sex or gender.
I hear that, and I definitely want to understand bi activism more, as I don’t know much. But I will say, as gender noncomforming - transmasc leaning person, I do find discomfort in the assumptions that exist from the general public when people express themselves as bisexual. I think with the prefix bi - meaning 2 - it feels a bit rigid for me personally. My partner has even taken on the identity of “queer” rather than “bi” because of this. I’m not saying that this is the case for everyone, but because when someone says bi, the common understand is 2 genders, it feels like there isn’t much room for me to exist there
i identify as bi (sometimes queer) and see "bisexual" as following the same logic as how "hetero" means "different" and "homo" means "alike" - I simply like people who are both alike and different from myself.
this!!
"bi" literally means 2 though
For what you've described there's the term pansexual
Deep thanks for this love letter to queerness in underrepresented forms hitomi 🌺 the resonance I felt in my heart when you mentioned reaching a conclusion of your queerness being pure within you… I’ve had such a journey with the unfolding of my queerness and you’ve been a beautiful companion that I felt like has given me drops of light wisdom along the way.
From being bullied for being a lesbian before I even knew what that meant to my mum telling me it was disgusting that I had kissed a girl to male partners belittling my queerness “but your with a man”… I’ve now found my queer community, I’m safe and safety in sensual intimacy with both partners (no matter their flavour of being) and with life is like finding the first peach of the season… a gift.
I’ve turned to the freeing page in my story that now reads “I love who I love” ❤
Every word you’ve written here is so kismet to my life. To be you and love who you love is the most beautiful thing we can do as human. As our hearts are squishy and not stone, why should we box ourselves in and refrain from loving who our hearts desire. I wish you peace on your journey that is life, and than you again for being here.
literally keep sobbing over this video every few minutes. thank you
i've been watching your vids here and there when they've popped up the past few months but i couldn't not sub after this one. your vulnerability and transparency is so admirable. your sprit is so strong. i'm just so grateful i've found your content! sending love
queerness to me is being pure and honoring who i am and the root of me. it's colorful and beautiful and feels like the nectar that is in the folds of a flower. i'm only 11 minutes in and yes yes yes to what you've shared so far. i had the same realization, how the thought of settling down with a man sounds quite boring honestly but it's the oppositie when i think about that with women. i began embracing my queerness a little less than a year ago. i always knew it was there but i grew up born-again christian so you can imagine the mental gymnastics and inner repression i went through. i've honestly fallen in love with my queerness/being queer. it's magic. i had a few dates with a beautiful person in madrid last month and i'm still not over us holding hands on our second date walking to the metro.
Awwhh, thats so cuteee, im so happy for you you had lovely dates ❤🥰. And yess I feel the same, settling down with a men feels or at least looks boring in my mind. With a women I think it can be so much fun, or maybe with anyone regarding their gender. But I resonate with that part you mentoined
@@circusbysilkthank you so much :) and yes lol exactly it feels like everything is making sense now
The mental gymnastics that you mentioned from being raised as a Christian is so true in all regards. It honestly feels like a hurdle that has to be overcome, some are given a head start in the track to run, but others like myself have been so afraid to overcome it and as each year goes by the hurdle become taller and taller-like an unsurmountable feet. It’s so beautiful seeing others accept who they truly are and I find you to be such a huge inspiration for me on my journey to acceptance.
Thank you so much! In my culture it is shameful to talk about sex, so I always felt awkward about this topic, the same with touching my body and imagining me with other people. I’ve never had sex, and learning more about it through your videos opens my eyes. I understand that it is totally normal to have sexual desires and have sex. Thank you again so much!!! I always learn from you!!
Im going thru a breakup and am just now dipping my toes into queer sex and relationships. Thank you for this resource🌹
thank you for this video. I'm a queer but I've mostly been with men in my past, because of so many reasons (easier to find straight men than queer women, internalized homophobia, imposter syndrome, fear of the unknown in regards to dating women & sex) and I've just recently started going to dates with women and it's really scary & beautiful & wonderful at the same time
Thank you very much for speaking at the beginning of the video about exploring your sexuality and the lack of necessity to label oneself. I've struggled with this recently since I've always been attracted to men before I started dating my ex girlfriend and I wasn't ready to have a "coming out" because I truly feel like attraction and sexuality are such a fluid thing for me; I like to say that my experiences define it and I'm attracted to people, not genders/I don't have specific patterns. To hear it from someone else was important for me 🌱
I can feel that every videos you make you put a lot of kindness in it and it's always from a place of love ❤ Thank you Hitomi ❤
thank you so much for this. i’ve been looking for videos like this because i don’t have any queer people in my life. i really needed this. it felt like a big sister chat thank you!!
Thank you so much. ❤️ I just came out as a lesbian earlier this month and this video means a lot. Excited to work on accepting myself this year and just loving life and the people around me. Everything feels so free! 🌱💫 What a beautiful community to be a part of.
Hitomi thank you so much for your gift, presence and videos and just for being you!
I’ve been *slowly* giving myself permission to explore women (in *every* aspect) and this was a beautiful, gentle nudge to push me deeper into my permissions and letting go of fear
i absolutely love listening to you speak and express yourself fully, this channel is such a safe haven to me. but as a bi girly it may be just me but it still hurts my heart that bisexuality is still seen as "less inclusive" yet it's origins are that of a fluid identity and i'm sure you didn't mean anything by it & the identity itself just doesn't resonate with you but it still stings to hear "less inclusive" bc of how misunderstood/ stigmatized it is. But still I love that you're putting this beautiful important content out there I know so many of us are grateful for this as an affirmation in our sexuality💖
i think she was coming from the place that some people think bi doesn't include dating trans people because bi only means two, so some people assume it's only your gender, or the opposite gender. mostly just language semantics and i think more people are starting to learn being bi means u could like anyone
@wiltedspinachcat3472 isn't that just pan tho?
everyone should identify how they feel most comfortable! I’d just like to add as a PSA though that pansexual does not always have to mean an attraction to personalities rather than gender, all it truly means is an attraction to all genders usually without preference. bisexual also does not inherently exclude non-binary people, it means attraction to two OR MORE genders sometimes with a preference. sometimes misconceptions about these sexualities can perpetuate biphobia or transphobia, or prevent someone from identifying as something they resonate with bc they think they don’t fit the definition properly. or use language that seems to imply some feeling of moral superiority. so I always like to clarify these misconceptions when possible 🫶🏼
hitomi you're totally glowing here !! radiating the best energy
This video was one of my favorites you’ve ever made. Thank you for your authenticity Hitomi❤
I felt so seen when you talked about having an innate fear of men... I have that even though I have mostly dated men all my life (with a few notable exceptions☺) and now at the age of 39 I just don't want to deal with them anymore. I'm told I have to heal from that, and i'm just running away from this issue, but what if I'm just done? I like women too and the older I get the more I realize that I may actually prefer women. It's so complicated right now. I'm grateful for this video❤
I love this video so much! Thank you for sharing your experiences. The part that really got me was about thinking that your attraction to women is due to an innate fear of men. I resonate with this a lot, and I even questioned myself if I actually like women (I do) or if it’s to avoid men. I thought of how to heal that “masculine wound”, but I have a great relationships and am really close with my brother, my dad and my male relatives, and I also get along well with my male coworkers. Even though I can get along with men (I also have had some unpleasant experiences with them aswell), the thought of doing anything intimate with them makes me uncomfortable, and I also get extremely anxious when a male has a crush on me and wants to pursue me, however I don’t get anxious when a woman feels that way towards me. And the way that I view being married to a woman as freeing, vs being married to a man as being tied down for the rest of my life is interesting. So I have come to the conclusion that my attraction to women is valid and real and is not to avoid men, however I don’t label myself even though the label “lesbian” feels more accurate than “bisexual” I’m still not quite sure on that.
the timing of this video is so so so needed like i've been realizing i genuinely like women romantically
Woah… I really appreciate this voiced 🥹 I grew up in denial even though I’d always make out with other teenage girls growing up… finally at 22 came to accept and realized omg im pansexual … went back and front going am I lesbian because I prefer women? Yet men pursue me so hard so I would only date them if I was allowed to be gay and date women …. Yet I respect women so much bc I know what it’s like and want them to feel safe in my presence yet I’m a fem /androgynous yet fem appearing who is a simp for fems yet my future and deepest longing is with a spiritual revolutionary woman who’s devoted to growth and evolving and helping making the world a better place. I ended my last relationship with a guy really feeling like I was finally ready to admit I’m fully queer and my greatest dream is to be with a conscious woman. These talks help. I’ve never heard anyone I relate with on the subject so much, thank you
The way you express your emotional intimacy is so blissful to watch. :)
Wow this video really makes me wanna get deeper and deeper into myself, double and triple checking if there is something inside of me that also wants to have these experiences. Thank you so much for sharing. 😊
As I did my morning practice today I manifested that you would drop. I have been spending my evenings watching lesbian films on RUclips and getting more comfy with my sexuality. This video is divine and right on time...I didnt even mean to rhyme lmao. I LOVE YOU HITOMI
Even though I've been sure about my queerness for a decade the phrase "exploring my sexuality" still resonates with me ? Probably due to my lack of experience I would still define this phase of my life as "exploring" and I think its beautiful - like figuring out how I love people
omg your queer experience is so relatable!
its my thoughts and feelings you shared with the world basically!! thank you for expressing this !!!! ❤
Right now I am sexually attracted to men, but I don’t want to date them. Like you mention it is because of the trauma I was left with my last situationship. With girls I am attracted to them in a romantic way and I feel like their energy is something else, I could date them but I am still questioning if I would have sex with a woman. I need to find the confidence to start dating one, thank you so much for this video because I feel like many of us might be going through something similar! This video made me feel comfortable ❤
yess starting to date women can feel a little scary, I feel you. think thats what you mean by finding the confidence? I hope you find nice love ❤And I understand you about the traumatized part, ouch sounds painfull though. Hope you can process it well ❤🩹😘
Thank you !!! Everytime I watch your videos... It makes me feel good about what i think, feel in my body/soul and it is so soothing. I really like this one, because I don't have a lot of queer people in my life right now and even if i have a great partner, who is receptive and a great listener... sometimes it is difficult to talk to someone who is " 100% straight " (sorry for the terms/grammar... my mother tongue is French). I send you love in your journey
Thank you for sharing as always. I tend to feel anxious about sex & related topics sometimes, so it’s great to have you taking about it in such an accepting and kind way! I hope that learning more about it and accepting my body and voicing desires will help
Trust me, when i first found your channel i actually scrolled through all the videos to find if you had tips for the queers and finally it's here..❤
I feel like she just crawled into my brain and explained it to me in the best way possible. I had no idea how much I needed to hear this.
Every internal revelation I've had , you manage to put it into these beautiful and poetic words ❤️ thank you
i love how you talk about these topic with such respect and tenderness, thank you!
Thank you for this video and talking about being flirtatious with all of life and people of all sorts. It explains your energy with Isabel. I've wondered what that was about.
I loved how you shared how you came out to some people and also took space from family ❤beautiful
I searched for queer sacred sexuality … where spirituality and lgbtq meet… and found you, so so so so thankful !!!!!! The resonance is deep!
BRO THIS MAKES ME FEEL SO SEEN!! as someone who identifies as queer for the same reasons as you this vid was amazing tyyyy hitomi
This really helped me. I’ve never had a relationship with anyone but I’ve always imagined myself with a woman. Something about having an intimate relationship with a female just seems right.
i love the content you put out, truly. i needed to stop this video a couple of times to process my thoughts and feelings. i am not as brave as you are, my life as a not heterosexual woman in a conservative eastern european country is peculiar. but i saw myself in many things you said. i love your take on one's relationship with queerness. my heart is full, and i want to thank you for it :)
just watched my first video of yours about the cycle syncing life which i love to do, developed a lil crush and now im here. happy to see a fellow queer on their journey and it also makes my crush even bigger! :) sending luvvv
I'm not queer, or a woman, but being with women is the greatest gift. Beyond attraction to their physical bodies and facial features, they're just so rich in personality, energy, and dreams. Even if I were into men, I have yet in my 38 years seen proof that a man can be the versatile, kindhearted, wild, unapologetically kinky and vast spirit that women are. Plus, as you said, women are immensely hot. They're the beautiful humans. ❤
Thank you for sharing your authentic truth, Hitomi. It's the greatest gift to us all, and especially yourself.
Watching your videos makes me feel so in the flow of life and my own thoughts 🧘♀️
The fun thing about being queer is that it's really easy to compare notes. I'm a happily cisgendered man, and I love hanging with NBs because they've got such a unique perspective on gender. I'm also bisexual and very much taking notes from 26:00 on. This is some good shit.
Thanks a lot Hitomi! I really respect you. I feel like you granting yourself freedom to be you is bringing more love and expansiveness into the world!
such a refreshing and healing material for my queer experience. thank you!
I love you so much Hitomi. You are awesome and make me feel so confident and comfortable in me ❤
I had a talk with my aunt and we talked about how women are like "infinite"pound of love and men just tend to take it. That's why we can easily leave without men but they tend to have a harder time living alone. So when women are together they give each other love, like infinite love. I thought that it was really amazing!
As I'm slowly coming to terms with who I am, I have new appreciation for these videos. Thankyou, Hitomi, for everything. 🌹
I am always amazed on how open you are. I love the vibes you have and how you present yourself. It’s always an enjoyable video, thanks for sharing. ❤❤❤
I love this, I love you, this big messy community of ours loves you and is here for you ❤
IVE BEEN WAITING FOR U TO UPLOAD. I love you hitomi 🥰🥰 and you’ve helped me grow internally so much and honestly you changed me in the best way possible and thank you for existing
ohh i loved this!! thank you so much hitomi you're wonderful :)) i wish i had friends with whom i could have open convos about sex bc sharing experineces is so important ! especially when conditioned so much shame and wrongness around pleasure..also as someone from a non english speaking world, who also had to find myself mostly with online comunities aka english speaking world, queer is the best world ! for me personally it feel so safe and comforting! i have thought about bisexuality also but for some reason it just feel like a label maybe bc of all the media that is curated "for" it, whereas queer is so broad that there arem as you said no boundries ( i think tthat is the same for most of non straight relationships but over the years we've gotten so many tropes and takes ) . love you and thak you for the way you exist!
your genuine expression is so valuable
i loved this like so much.. you genuinely answered some questions and thoughts that have been running through my mind. Thank you so much, truly.
wow i could hear you talk for hours without getting bored ❤️❤️❤️
Unrelated to the precious advice you're giving us: I love how your outfit lets your energy flow < 3
This video definitely explains how i feel... thinking i'm lesbian, but also attracted to men but scared of men; not being able to imagine myself married to a man with kids but wanting to spend my life with a woman huh realizing you're queer is not always easy, you want a label but none of them feels right and then you just continue wondering/exploring forever...
Thanks for posting this right as I'm starting out in my first queer romantic and sexual relationship 🎉 binged all your other videos about this the other day.
hitomi, i love u! u are a light
Thank you so much for your continual openness and authenticity. it is so welcome and so needed
Thank you so much for this video. I can so relate especially with the look into the future and that envisioning myself with a man just doesn't feel the same as with a woman. But we'll see what the future holds for us. 🌈🎉
Beautiful conversation you conveyed these ideas so well and lovingly thank you
What a beautiful video, thank you for talking about this. I can relate so much to this. 🥰 If you ever find yourself in Copenhagen, I would love to drink coffee with you, draw, talk, walk, being. Lots of love to you
I love you so much more for this video's vulnerability ❤ omg I didn't know I needed to hear this. Thank you so much! 💓
wow. this came at the perfect time for where I am in my journey right now. thank you.
Thank you for making this video and sharing your thoughts and feelings. I'm sure a lot of people feel seen💜
you mentioned not feeling like an "expert" on queer sex ... I actually think most queer women/ppl feel the same though! We are so rarely taught about our own pleasure, and many queer ppl feel "behind" in sexual experiences. so thank you for sharing so honestly!!