Ranking which animals we could beat in a fight
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 8 окт 2022
- We'd probably let some of these kill us.
MERCH ►► gamegrumps.com/merch
Support us on Patreon! ► / gamegrumps
or support us by becoming a channel member! ► ruclips.net/user/gamegrumpsjoin
Click to SUBSCRIBE ► bit.ly/GrumpSubscribe
*********************************************
We have NEW MERCH every other TUESDAY!
►►► gamegrumps.com/merch
*********************************************
FACEBOOK ► / gamegrumps
TWITTER ► / gamegrumps
INSTAGRAM ► / gamegrumps
WEBSITE ► gamegrumps.com
*********************************************
Game Grumps are:
Arin ► / egoraptor
Danny ► / ninjasexparty
#TierList #Warthog #FightingAnimals 
Игры
Half of Arin’s arguments: “So anyway I start wailing on their tummy.”
Some of these are so dense he would break his hands
To be fair Arin is also very dense
Right on their lap!
Fun fact hyenas have one of the strongest bite in the animal kingdom so NO FUCKING WAY a human without a gun would win, with one bite they would crush you arm BONE AND ALL, fuck they could crush your skull, they can digest whole pieces of bone cause they're used to literally eat bone in one gulp, so no you don't stand a SINGLE chance you can't run you can't fight they're tough violent stronger hunters, lions are afraid of hyenas
And they though they would have a fair fight LOL not even both of them could even began to hurt one
And a “good kick to their head”
My favorite exchange in this one is:
Dan: "Have you ever kicked a warthog?"
Arin: "I've pet a pig."
Literally just watched that part 😭
Any type of wild hog/pig is going to be one of the worst times. They are the animal with the least fucks to give XD
That bit absolutely makes me wheeze-laugh every single time.
the fact they think a moose is too big to win against (which it absolutely is) but thought they had a CHANCE with a giraffe is hysterical to me
@@hungrycrab3297
i dont know, get a ladder and dropkick it? bet money that’d break a giraffe’s neck
Hmmm, I guess you could bust their knees so they couldn't move. They're way less stable than a moose.
Especially since a single kick from a giraffe can kill a lion instantly.
So what giraffes can do (yes they do this) is they whip their head around like a ball and chain and basicaly take you out in 1 shot
Waite till its drinking?
Dear God Dan's confidence versus a fucking *hyena* is ludicrous
Wait til Dan finds out they have a stronger bite force than a lion 💀
There’s a charity group that sends the world’s best jaw/facial surgeons to extremely rural parts of africa. One of the two most common things they treat is “mauled by a hyena”
An adult human male, on average, will be physically stronger than a hyena. You grab it and you don't let go until it's not alive anymore. The fight is decided by the first move, if the hyena doesn't kill you before you get a hold of it, it cannot escape death.
The Hyena will go for the balls I know it
I’ve Seen an hyena bite through a car, dans gonna die
Arin - "I could beat an ostrich in a fight"
Also Arin - proceeds to immediately lose a fight against multiple inanimate objects simultaneously
lololol
Australia lost a war against against Emus. That’s embarrassing enough without Arin going 1v1 with an Ostrich.
Someone: *Trips on the carpet*
You, apparently: "Holy shit you just lost a fight against a carpet!"
To be fair they were ganging up on him.
I get the feeling he has never seen a territorial male ostrich in person. The only reason you don't see a huge death list is because people tame them heavily and take precautions if one gets hormonal. Wild ones will choose to run rather than kill, but cornered ones are exceedingly dangerous because they are very Very robust and huge. They are NOT fragile like other birds.
my only real takeaway from this video is that Dan “They’re just not big enough” Avidan doesn’t know how big a bald eagle is.
Or a fucking hyena. Fair fight?? It would destroy anyone!
I was thinking that same thing. And they're fast af. One could probably swoop down and slit your throat with its talons before you could even get a swipe at its wings. I think it's possible that he could get a lucky shot in, but those odds are slim, especially if he's underestimating them by so much.
eagles are big for birds, but they are FRAGILE. you are too large for an eagle to really take out quickly, but a single flailing punch will break bird bones. if you can manage to grab it at all you can just smash it on the ground and its done. You would almost definitely be bleeding and injured to some extent but you are going to win
Bald eagles are only about 10lbs, no shot they kill you. People really underestimate how strong a survival-mode human is, we’re still 150+ lb mammals with excellent strength and long dexterous arms, strong hands, compressive strength, accurate kicks, etc. it not like we’re just piles of meat
I just saw one in person yesterday feeding in a deer carcass. They are big birds and they can definitely do damage to a human if provoked. Those talons are razor sharp. Their beaks are made for ripping through muscle and flesh. They’re not exactly friendly either.
Dan's "Are you getting paid for the word tummy?!?!" killed me omg
Dude, same. Favorite quote of the video for sure
Arins strategy: so I kick it.
Lions, hyenas, eagles, and chimps: Interesting. Counter point, I take your leg.
They’re claws/beak are definitely sharp enough to snip through any tendons you have so maybe not literally but it would be hard to “grab it’s wing” as they suggest
@@DrBusiness9 almost any bird being that close to you will in the bird dying. Yeah, an eagle probably could mess me up a bit, but all it would take is a stray punch to ruin that bird. You could just flail your arms around and most likely win.
@@DrBusiness9A single hit to an eagle from a full grown man is definitely gonna break some bones on the bird. If you manage to make it hit the ground (very likely) or even just hit it hard enough you’ll take it out. Most birds are pretty fragile
@@sdhjsjana72js also their beak and talons will instantly rip through any of your ligaments or muscles upon one successful strike… so you wouldn’t be able to try and even hit it more than one or two times, if it doesn’t blind you using it’s first attack! While bird bones are hollow this doesn’t really help
@@chrishansen8119 have you ever tried to grab a bird? Because I have, and eagles are a hell of a lot faster than pigeons lol! There’s a reason eagles were selected as a symbol of freedom cause you can’t fucking control or contain them unless injured or raised from birth! You are not grabbing a bald fucking eagle in 20 million years lol
Can we please get a follow-up video on this where a wildlife expert rates their rankings and explains all the ways these animals mess them up
This is a fantastic idea.
I want this to happen
Casual Geographic, we need you!
A fantastic idea for guest grumps.
@@theonetrueanthonylong1843 I’d love to see Coyote Peterson on the guest grumps.
Arin reminding us he is Florida Man.
“Florida Man hospitalized after breaking into ostrich enclosure, says ‘I thought I could grab its neck’”
You can take the man out of Florida but you can't take Florida out of the man.
he cannot merely BE Florida Man. Florida man is more of a random thing that happens when a crazy floridian says "hold my beer"
Florida man isn’t a being it’s a way of life. That was his first mistake
And he was wrooooong.
I just spit my Diet Coke on the monitor.
These guys thinking they could take a full-grown female spotted hyena is my madness arc
Literally my villain origin story
Also like, whatever magical thing that put them on the island Definitely gave the hyena the same motivation; that hyena would crumble them for her pups
I love how Arin absolutely underestimates the animal kingdom 🤣
arins just from Florida
I Believe that's called devil's advocate
Ikr, I feel like I agreed with Dan far more in this lol
@@dooplets._.5776 Arin and Dan agreed a lot on all of these though.
@@mrduck6720 yeah, the very few they disagreed on I generally sided with Dan tho :]
Dan actually singing to the racoons in his backyard and charming them sounds like exactly the kind of ersatz male Disney princess he dresses up as in his band.
dan is absolutely a disney princess and no can prove me otherwise now
I want to see a vid him doing it.
He should sing Colors of the Wind to them
What does "ersatz" mean?
@@simon_magus65ad replacement in german
Arin having more confidence in fighting an ostrich than a single coyote is astounding to me
I think Arin gets that confidence because the ostrich has a *very* obvious weak point. That neck looks ridiculously vulnerable.
Doesn't mean it is, but it looks like it is.
@@resileaf9501 No kidding. They treat it like a weapon. They'll slap you with it.
And also the cobra like if you're wearing boots and thick pants there's a significant chance you kill it in one stomp
I mean, counterpoint, if you had a machete and you were able to grab an ostriches neck ✂️ I can't imagine it'd be walking out of that encounter lmao
@@hungrycrab3297 I honestly don't think anyone untrained has a chance of taking down an ostrich bare handed, those things are fuckin' massive lmao
My theory is that Arin had a stomach ache that day and it convinced him that the “tummy” was the weak point of all living things
Dan NEEDS to record himself singing to those raccoons and share it
Yes! I also said this! Poll?? Come one GRUMPS!
Chimps - Have ripped people's face's off
Arin - So I started going for the tummy
So hear me out, the chimp tears off Arins face then proceeds to wear it, boom gamegrumps gets a little more interesting.
Pretty sure they're strong enough to rip limbs off.
IT'S THE SIZE, DUDE, THE SIZE!!!
The chimp that did that in CT, my grandfather has a Polaroid pic with it
Bro its a chimp not Hercules their strong but not tear off a human arm off strong
Dan thinking he could take a fucking HYENA and an EAGLE is absolutely hilarious to me. Describing the eagle's attack as a "scratch" makes me wonder if he's ever seen their fucking talons.
Dan, I love you, but a hyena would solo you and Arin and me and my dad and the guy who kisses my dad
You named Arin twice. ;)
Why'd you list Arin twice?
If a hyena got its jaws on you it would absolutely crush your bones, but I think you could probably disable it before then. I’d give it a has the advantage or most likely kills you.
An eagle is definitely stronger than they described; I’d give it the advantage.
@@powergannon The problem with all birds is that if you hit them once they can't fight anymore. You automatically win the moment you trade hits instead of them being the only one attacking. That's why birds almost never even attempt to attack anything bigger than them. I do think a human has the advantage over any flying bird species on the planet. However, an ostrich or other large flightless bird is basically just a dinosaur. They physically overpower humans along with being faster and having built-in weapons and defenses beyond what we have. As for hyenas, they're pretty small. They're basically a medium sized dog. Not a big dog, a medium sized dog. An adult human should physically overpower them.
I don't think they know exactly how big an eagle is. There's a video where one almost takes off with a toddler and it got a couple feet off the ground before it dropped it.
Arin: *Gets absolutely wrecked by a slightly large adult man*
Also Arin: “Oh yeah I could probably win a fight against a 150 million year old reptilian killing machine.”
Florida man attitude
Old reply, but Harley isn't "slightly large"
Arin's bigger than your average adult man, by a fair bit.
Harley is a BIG guy.
The zig zag running is also a myth. That will not guarantee that you can outrun a gator. They are much faster than you think in land and they can maneuver pretty well. They also cannot be held down by just one man. It takes a lot for weight to keep them from death rolling and thrashing you with their tail. You can’t kill them unless you have a weapon that can penetrate their skin as well.
While I agree with the sentiment, *Arin* is a slightly large adult man. Harley is literally massive.
The sheer florida man confidence Arin puts out in this video is the most dangerous thing on this list 🤣
I think the Grumps are significantly underestimating a male deer’s lethality
I’d put em in “they have the advantage”, bc you can kill one just gotta know ur way around it
Yeah like does or fawns sure, but bucks have like seven bone swords to slice you with
@@itz_grass5890 even a Doe would take out an untrained human... they get on their hind legs and drive both hooves into our chest, thats like a deer's main attack. Antlers are more for challenging other Buck and impressing Does
It's also crazy they rated gazelles above deer. I don't think gazelles have any killing software anywhere in them.
Arin: We're pretty nimble.
Also Arin: Flails around knocking half of the recording room to the floor.
As a born and raised Floridian, I knew exactly where Arin was going to go when I saw alligator on the list
"That's the king of the jungle I'm barely the king of my own tv room" is an amazing sentence
Thinking a hyena is a fair fight is INSANE yes this creature with 1,100 psi bite force and a jaw made to grind bones is very fair
True, but they’re like coyotes in that they’re very bold in a group, but cowardly as an individual. I don’t think that fact would matter in a fight in which they’re cornered though.
@@soulandfresh A matriarch hyena can be 140lbs, has a bite twice as strong as a pit bull, and have massive pseudo-penises. RIP Dan.
Yeah, but if you get to their side and just kick them in their tummy-tum...
@@soulandfresh yeah but this was a fight not a real life scenario, so no they dont stand a single chance, not even together with melee weapons, one bite would crush your whatever they bite bone and all they're one of the strongest animals in the world mofos can digest bone whole cause its natural to them to just rip an entire leg of and swallow same for chimps they can EASILY tear your arm off and they though they had a chance LOL they're WAAY stronger than us
They're also smaller and weaker than an average adult male. Yes, getting bit is bad. An adult human could be expected to be physically strong enough to manhandle a hyena.
"I think we could take an Ibex. We could, like, kick it off the mountain"
Dan, not falling off mountains is kinda their whole thing. The more likely thing is you try to kick them, they dodge out of the way, and you proceed to fall off the mountain.
I was thinking the same thing lol! Their entire physiology and anatomy is built around being able to easily navigate mountains
I was thinking this EXACT thing!
Their logic behind “mountain lions/pumas are smaller so I could probably have a chance” but then think that the even smaller cheetah would 100% kill them is baffling me and I love them for it. Cheetahs need to run fast so they are generally lighter, have easier to break bones (narrow), and have smaller teeth and claws compared to a full on cougar.
Yeah they are very ignorant about Saharan animals
@@DrBusiness9 just animals. Bobcat, Deer, and Lynx are at least one category under. I think they just don't understand a wild animal going 100% to survive. Humans just don't have to do that ^^;
Like they seemed more unsure about a dang dog than a hyena! 😅
Plus, cheetahs are typically very timid and have rarely ever attacked humans. Tho they could hurt you pretty bad if they feel threatened enough (most cases of attacks are from self-defense).
My favourites are the giraffe and horse. "Most likely kill" is a vast understatement. I especially love how dan said he could trip a giraffe, like he could just stick his leg out and it would fall over.
Yeah, I think he would more than likely get injured just trying to trip it.
tripping it like the at-at walker from star wars is the obvious answer
Today we learned how little Dan and Arin know about animals
If I've learned anything from a decade of Game Grumps, it's that Arin and Dan know nothing about anything 😆
@@jbwarner8626 And that JonTron, somehow, knows even less
This is the most accurate analysis of this tier list XD
As someone that knows a lot about animals it's incredible to see the simultaneous over AND under-confidence they have with some of these choices
Agreed. People have killed leopards and mountain lions with their bear hands. I dont think anyone has ever done that to a hyena
@@joshuabenedict1072 well tbf they had bear hands so thats a lot easier.
@@pascalthecurator3368incredibly underrated comment
DEEPLY curious to hear about the undetconfident ones. What animals on this list are secret wimps
Arin: If I pet Mochi weird and he's like "Mraw!", I'm like "Oh god! I could die right now."
Also Arin: Lynx is kinda small. Yeah, fair fight.
Fr. Lynx are 2x the size of an average house cat. I think, if it feels threatened enough, it could kill you.
@@artistryanxiety6132 True, but most of the time, in a fight to the death, a 150lb human would kill a 40lb lynx. They'd most likely give you some bad wounds, but chances are you'd kill them.
@@torgothegrey3567 Personally I doubt it. Cats are insanely agile. If a lynx wanted to it could probably pounce up on you and close its jaws around your neck before you even have a chance to fight back.
Dan singing to his backyard raccoons is the most precious shit I've ever heard. Made my week
the putting almost all the big cats in “they would kill me” and then arin jokingly arguing a LION wouldn’t be in the same tier because the males don’t hunt had me dead
I mean, i know plenty of guys who fight off cougars almost every night
@@chirone00 Just wrestled one last night, got pinned and barely made it out alive... 😏
Right they don't hunt... They just fight and kill each other for dominance. The brute strength to counterbalance the females' speed... Nah, total pushovers.
@@chirone00 a cougar is nothing compared to a lion though. Also solitary big cats (except tigers) are more likely to give up and run, so they don’t get injured and be unable to hunt. If it was to the death though? If the cougar didn’t give up? None of those men would have survived.
@@Cinderblox91 please be careful, I’m glad you’re alive man
As a zoology major this kills me in both the funny way, and the painful way
Ok, coyote bite strength. Lots? Little? If you let a mid size canine get a hold of your arm, can you let your arm get ripped up and whale on the back of its head, or are you just gonna lose that arm?
@@snrincognito Honestly, (I have a degree in Environmental Science, Biology, Chemistry. I triple minored, but my communication minor is not relevant), I'd put the coyote in fair fight. They're smart, fast, agile. And in a kill or be killed they are going to do a *lot* of damage. I think, because of the size difference, I have a halfway decent chance to kill the coyote as well, but I'm certainly going to end up badly injured either way. Best case: Nasty bite wound. I take a few weeks with bandages on my arm. Worst case: I die. They are definitely overconfident on many of these.
Not as much as it would kill them
OMG I wanted to be a zoologist so bad as a kid 😭
Me too man
Arin must have an iron foot or something since it’s his answer to everything
“I kick it then I wail on its tummy”
He’s the brother of iron fist. Iron foot.
Fun fact: hyenas can crush bone with their chomps, and definitely faster than alligators, maneuvering wise. Not a fair fight.
Dan describes a beast with hundreds of pounds of pure muscle.
Arin: I kick it's side gg.
Tummy*
It's soft fleshy tum tum which definately isn't taught with muscle and would take basically no damage in this wild scenario where arin thinks he could get to the side of a running warthog and manage to kick it ahdhxz
Good lord, grant me the misplaced confidence of Dan and Arin.
Especially Arin!
Right? If he can't beat Harley, he can't beat a bear lol
@@PageShearling Lol! And Harley fought fair! A bear most certainly will not.
Dan admitting that he sings to raccoons and they stop to listen is so cute.
The thing about warthogs and boars is, that they are just the right size to run at you and cut the arteries in your thighs.
They have crazy strong necks, so in conjunction with their (a lot sharper than I used to think as a kid) tusks, they could quite easily amputate your leg.
Arin wants to fight a warthog like Mario fights goombas.
Well, he IS the video game boy afterall ;-)
I do love the idea of Arin trying to double-stomp a charging warthog.
He is at least right that they aren't that big. I'd fight 3 warthogs before I went up against a wild boar. Not at once, but in a row.
so does that mean its " timon and goomba" ? 😂😂
@@KairuHakubi saw a hog wandering around my neighborhood. Damn thing was almost as big as a cow.
Arin's two tactics:
1 swift kick
Tummy taps
The School Bully technique; Kick in the Balls followed by Pink Belly
Get in there with the kicks
But if those all fail then he unleashes his hidden and especially devastating Chin Move
@@mediocreandworse59 it's unavoidable, really
@@lucaskane5364 ayyy
Pretty sure a Hyena bite can crush a Giraffe's femur, Dan might wanna rethink that confident answer of his.
I love when Arin rationalizes "tummy."
Dan calling him out sent me.💀
Ostrich: Second most deadly bird in the world.
Arin: "I don't think they would kill you, though."
To be fair, go all out, use your weight and you'll probably have a shot, it'll be an uphill battle, but a battle nonetheless
I fucking can’t with arin’s logic about how to fight some of these animals, especially the warthog. It’s cracking me up
Or the chimpanzee. Like bro yeah it’s not as tall a person but it’s like 4 times as strong and has no morals. It will destroy you 😂
you literally cant even?
A ton of these aren’t accounting for actual size, ferocity when in fight mode, or natural armor. Kicking and punching alot of these creatures ain’t gonna do anything if they are actively fighting you.
Fun fact hyenas have one of the strongest bite in the animal kingdom so NO FUCKING WAY a human without a gun would win, with one bite they would crush you arm BONE AND ALL, fuck they could crush your skull, they can digest whole pieces of bone cause they're used to literally eat bone in one gulp, so no you don't stand a SINGLE chance you can't run you can't fight they're tough violent stronger hunters, lions are afraid of hyenas
And they though they would have a fair fight LOL not even both of them could even began to hurt one
Kick it in the tummy
I would like to say that what Arin labeled as a “duck” is actually an American Buff Goose. I’ve had two of them for pets before, and while they’re very sweet animals, they can be INCREDIBLY vicious. I wouldn’t say they could kill a human in any regard, but it’d still be a nasty encounter!
R.I.P. Romeo ❤
these video game boi’s seem very confident in their ability to even CATCH a bunny
they can't catch one that does not want to be caught, but in this scenario all the animals are coming up to fight you, so basically, the bunny is sacrificing itself to make stew lol
But it's got... FANGS!!!! Just... LOOK AT THE BODIES!!!
Learning that Dan sings Looking Glass' "Brandy" to raccoons is the highlight of my day
casual disney princess moment
I laughed so hard at the mental image of Dan kicking a mountain goat off a mountain
Some of these make me wonder if Arin's seen animals
Fun fact Mountain Goats are so used to not having predators that it would most likely die from a heart attack. Even when doing research on mountain goats, it is really difficult to tag or capture goats without causing this panic response. Also Eagles are often scavengers as well. Common alongside vultures at dumps.
Arin's Florida-ness coming in clutch this episode.
Florida men are a different species all together. Homo-Floridius.
@@dumbdog2924😂😂
The general procedure for surviving a chimp attack is “stay alive until someone with a gun shows up”
And even that is less of a strategy, and more so just the correct mindset to have, since it's really just up to the chimp.
chimps are horrifying
Sprint as fast as you can is the only option.
When it catches you, say goodbye to a few parts. Chimps made a sport of how many extremities one can rip off in an allotted time.
*Maybe* you could try to get to deep water, because chimps don't swim. But then you risk them dragging you down to drown too.
27:19 Turkeys are like slower non-flying geese with a big hitbox. I used to shoo them away with a broom in college when I took the trash out. Arin’s really giving dinner a lot of credit here.
A hyena...one of the strongest jaws in the animal kingdom...
Chimps may be similar in shape and ability to humans, but they are scary strong. Stronger than Arin gives them credit for. I would NOT wanna tango with one of them!!
Exactly what I was thinking
Chimps can peel your skin off so easily. Yikers.
And they're known for doing murders! Would not hesitate to tear someone limb from limb
Not to mention they are smart and moralless. they are on record for ripping off privates as a tactic.
Chimps can kill an adult man easy, no question about it
Let’s hope Arin’s incredible self-confidence is never tested against any of these animals.
Arin facing a bear: Yo Dan. Check this shit out...Hiyaaah!
*Later*
Dan: We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Arin Hanson.
He already got it tested against Harley 😂
I'd put the Pit up higher. They have a very high pain threshold and powerful bite. Not more powerful than a wolf, though.
My reaction to everything: "It'll kill me, it'll kill me, it'll kill me... rabbit? ...fair fight... it'll kill me, it'll kill me, Duck? It'll kill me."
It's all hypothetical for fun, obviously almost any of these animals would seriously injure or kill you quite easily.
Man the wolf discussion got me. Arin's confidence in general is kinda hilarious but I'm a 6'2 guy and when youve seen a wolf basically raise his head and come up to your chest while being pretty dang stocky too... nah Im good, just take me out quick Fiddo
I think cheetahs would probably be less dangerous than other big cats. Like they're so neurotic and nervous that zoos need to give them a dog buddy to calm them down, like a golden retriever or something, and the dog is the big tough guy in that friendship.
Dan wouldn’t be able to kill any of these animals, he would be too sad. As for Arin? He’d be screaming too loud to have any advantage.
Arin underwater with a muffled voice:
FUCKING CLAMS
hey, man...
Arin might weaponize his feces though.
... screaming IS an advantage. Every little bit helps, and sensory overload can be an effective combat tool.
Or counter point. His screaming IS the advantage lol.
All of Arin’s arguments are like: “well if it wasn’t moving and I was an Olympic athlete”
Arin thinks he is a fighting anime protag.
Like he couldnt beat another youtuber. Bless him.
Fr how strong does he think he is
@@squallsrapture to be fair the other guy had the advantage in height, weight, and reach. It's not like he's fighting Ethan from CrankGameplays (a lovely guy, but doesn't seem like a fighter)
@@1tinydinosaur510 and my point was an ostrich could definitely beat up the food dude.
"here lies Arin Hanson; He thought he could punch a moose in the tummy"
Seeing Hyena put in Fair Fight makes me think Dan and Arin didn't watch enough Animal Planet growing up.
A panda being ranked two full spots above an ostrich is giving me a full on aneurysm
Panda definitely deserves being above ostrich, there's quite simply nothing you could do to win, and they're still really really powerful bears.
Ostriches are super powerful BUT there's at least things you could do to them.
@@rumpelstiltskin6150 Easily the weakest bear. They can't even muster up the energy to mate due to how calorie-light bamboo is. You're more likely to get killed by the bamboo than a panda.
@@RiseOfTheKumquat67 Yeah, that's not right, they have a very powerful bite and are actually quite strong, it's just that they're pretty apathetic.
@@RiseOfTheKumquat67 bro, a bear is still a bear. Geezus.
@@thedrakken9199 An ostrich would kick a panda to death 9 times out of 10
In what world does Arin think he MIGHT win a fight against a grizzly bear.
Even a bear *cub* smart money bets on the bear.
I mean a bear has enough power in its paws to break the backs of moose and if given a clean hit can send a human flying with broken ribs or a neck laceration.
Only real option would be to use your surroundings. But your super likely to be fucked.
I was losing my shit after putting a bear next to a SNAKE
@@TheArachnoBot it's like the most deadly snake on the planet. at least *A* deadly snake, it's not some little garden snake.
We should petition for Dan to film himself singing to the raccoon audience in his yard. It would be adorable
That Alligator is death rolling Arin the second he holds it’s jaw shut.
I love how they believed bald eagles and vultures are small creatures.
Not necessarily small, but lose the fight if they get hit once, so it amounts to the same. The only path to victory an eagle has against a human 1v1 is if they maintain a constant assault without getting hit. Death by a thousand papercuts.
Yeah they realize how dangerous even a small cat is, yet they don't understand eagles are equipped with the same primary weapon a cat has, but they are bigger can pinpoint you from miles away and also fly.
@@Jasper_Silva And you don't seem to realise how easy it is for the ability to fly to be taken away in a prolonged fight. That's why birds don't tend to do them. Once flight is lost its over.
@@dontmisunderstand6041 These ain't papercuts though. More like being slashed at by knifes flying at you at over 60mph, giving you little time to react. Just the initial impact from the first scratch would likely knock you down and send you reeling from the pain. Then the bleeding will fatigue you, leaving you helpless and practically bird food at that point.
Ok you also have to remember that one well-timed right hook will take them out. And then you can proceed to go “ratatatatata” on their tummies to end the fight 😂
Arin's description of straight up Goomba Stomping a warthog is amazing
Pumba* stomping
“I don’t think eagles are big enough” i don’t think dan has seen a fully grown bald eagle
I would love for them to do this with a zoologist. Entertaining and informative
someone needs to show these men an animal size comparison chart 😂😂😂
Arin "Every place with palm trees has GOT to be Florida" Hanson on animals:
Ehhhh I think I could take an alligator
Being from Florida gives him an automatic passive buff in gator fights.
Being from Florida myself, a little known secret is that all Florida men are born with instinctual gator combat techniques
gators on land aren't that tough dude
@@biggusriggus7693 So what do you do when the gater death rolls when you get on it's back? lol Punch it in the tummy?
@@b00nz0r the biggest threat from the death roll is if it has your limb in its mouth. If you're on its back, on dry land and holding its mouth shut(super easy, can use electrical tape) then you're pretty set as long as you keep your weight towards the ground. Give ya plenty of time to rope one of the front legs behind its back
still cracks me up that arin’s approach to defeating a warthog is to land on it like its a goomba
It’s scary how confident they are in going up against a deer, mountain goat, or warthog.
I thought mountain goat was feasible at first. Then I googled how big they are. Nope. Not happening lol
Moose are HUGE and FAST. There's a video of a moose charging through at least four feet of snow for a LONG distance and it's as if the snow isn't even there. Truly terrifying. I think a moose could kill anything on this list five times over
They give moose alerts at colleges in the northeast US to go inside if any wander on campus. They’re so unbelievably dangerous
The phrase is "If you have to choose between hitting a deer or a tree, hit the deer cause it is least likely to kill you. If you have to choose between hitting a moose or a tree, hit the tree cause the moose will definitely kill you."
Legs are super long, which is additional problem with them and cars; the center mass is going to come straight into windshield.
My uncle is the only person I know who survived car vs moose, and that's because he was driving a car so small (a geo metro i think) that the moose rolled *over* it. They are the only surviving North American megafauna, they're prehistoric.
A moose is basically a semi truck with swords jutting out at every angle.
Since the rules they setup state that the battle takes place on a desert island, a great white shark would be easy to defeat, you’d just have to wait for it to asphyxiate.
The hyena in "fair fight" is killing me. Especially since it's right below the ostrich
I sort a wish honey badger was in the list so I can laugh at them saying they can take one bc it's small 😂
Bringing up ZOO animals made me giggle tho x3
Same, badgers are like fucking tanks that do not give a damn about anything 😂😂
Not a zoologist but I think a human vs a honey badger is an even tossup. If you were determined enough you could kneel on a honey badger's neck until it suffocates. It just means you'd get bit and clawed the fuck up in the process. Who will give out first, the honey badger from lack of oxygen or the human after enough blood loss? I'd say it's a pretty fair fight.
Dan wildly underestimates the strength and agility of most of these animals
Nearly all of these definitely kill them unarmed.
Birds are probably still one of our best match ups, considering that we can only really deal blunt damage and they have fairly weak bones. I do agree though.
@@ScootyPuff_Jr one swoop of those talons to our neck as they dive at huge speeds and we're dead tho. We're super fragile too
Coyote is easily 'I kill them', Eagle is correct, the monkey would kill the shit out of them though
@@sdfbcvbrshgdgfsdfgsdg yeah any perfect strike from a animal will kill you. Its the same for us. But these fights aren't "would you die if they got the perfect strike." A man got severely mauled by a brown bear, walked 5 miles to get cell signal and then filmed the damage while he waited for help.
30:15 No "but" Arin, you die. People sometimes have to hunt them with Explosives and Fully Automatic rifles, before the advent of gunpowder people used a special type of spear to keep them from running down the full spear shaft and killing the hunter
Yeah I love that Arin thinks his kick will stop a beast known for its ability to keep fighting after being impaled by a spear.
People don't understand how ferocious hogs in general are. There's a Brazilian hog species my uncle used to hunt when I was a kid (it's an invasive type of hog, as usual in the Americas). I recently tried to show a friend a picture of one near a person to give an idea of how big they are, turns out there's no pictures of them near people. No one gets near them.
@@falconJB Warthogs will continue fighting after getting half their face blown off by a Shotgun!
he was absolutely thinking of those little pigs. he does not think he can kill a warthog. he thinks he can kill an imaginary animal he pictured in his head of a pot bellied pig with still impressive sized tusks, but a small body.
Our ancient ancestors have us modern weaklings beat. You know homo erectus? Those guys and gals took down megafauna with nothing more than a sharpened wooden spear and their brains.
Arin truly thinks if their small he’ll be fine but in reality then being small IS their advantage
This is how I learned Game Grumps never seen a full size deer in their lives.
Bambi would absolutely rawdog the both of them at once.
HOW does someone from Florida never see a deer??? They’re flippin everywhere omg
Everytime Dan says eagles aren’t huge I am reminded that bald eagles can have an 8foot wing span.............
I think the huns/mongols trained golden eagles to kill wolves.
Yes! And not to mention their 2 inch long talons and death-grip 😅
With giant meaty claws
It's not the wings I'd worry about but the talons.
theres videos on RUclips of guys using eagles to hunt deer, they can actually lift them off the ground a bit.
I think they're underestimating how big a bald eagle is, an adult bald eagle is like three feet tall *and* flying at you with its talons and beak
The fact that Arin and Dan both think they'd most likely kill a 1.5 ton deer astounds me
In Wyoming a pretty small deer just put a woman in the hospital with seven puncture wounds and a crushed vertebrae.
1.5 ton? You think deer are 3,000 lbs? More like 150.
@@georgek8952 I think this was talking about the giraffe lmao
@@georgek8952definitely talking about the giraffe.
somehow this was the most frustrating tier list to watch. these guys are mad confident in their survival skills. So many of these animals needed bumping up on the rankings.
They did really well for most of them. There are only a few they really messed up, and there are almost as many that they think are too dangerous compared to others. Like, they underestimate boars, ostriches, deer, and giraffes, but also overestimate wolves and bobcats. Gazelle too, being weaker and more fragile deer. This is far more accurate than their fast food tier list, at least.
@@dontmisunderstand6041 alligators, man. even if Arin pulled off everything he said he could about getting on top of it, and getting its mouth closed, the objective is to kill it. How does he kill it? Without weapons, he doesn't. Period.
u call it frustration, i call this comedy :D
A few need bumping down too. A full grown adult male would not struggle to fight a coyote. They rarely get larger than like 35 lbs. To put that a bit into perspective a corgi will weigh more than that albeit in a lower and wider package.
yeah, i can't believe they put that vicious bunny rabbit that low. i pray to god they never cross Peter Cottontail.
Wonder if their answer would change if they realized that it was a goose and not a duck lmao
"They're highly territorial, warlike birds."
Meh, same thing pretty much
geese are not as dangerous as people make them out to be; they can be annoying and break stuff but their claws and beaks are not big or sharp enough to be much of a concern and it would be very easy to grab their necks if they get close to you. i am not claiming that they are completely harmless but we definitely have the advantage and they are generally incapable of killing a human.
@@elio7610 Yeah, geese are masters of intimidation, but that only works on humans because the average person isn't prepared to kill or even risk injuring the goose. I would bet a toddler would beat a goose at least half the time, for any adult it's literally no contest.
goose goes up one for intimidation factor. im sure it could kill someone using that. maybe even just chase one of us until we trip and break our neck.
Arin: I could take an ostrich and possibly an alligator
Also Arin: needs to be convinced a lot on coyote
I think Arin's confidence in fighting some of these animals is misplaced, as it usually is.
Dan's is worse this time ngl
@@horsebox5138 that's fair. I think Dan is more goofy and clueless. Arin seems to be more serious thinking he can take the animals.
Allie: “Well, you need it for the computer.” Truly, the voice of reason in this mad house.
I need a video of Dan singing to the raccoons right now. That’s the cutest and sweetest thing ever
Just a reminder guys: wolves are actually much bigger than the diagrams online show you and are VERY big. They are also fraidy cats and don't like people so they'd probably run and avoid you before you could ever catch them to hunt and eat lmao
I'd still like to see them both do their own lists instead of trying to collaborate on one. It'd be interesting to see what theirs would each look like.
Arin thinking he can take a wolf is killing me lmao
It's a big dog. Arin is a large enough guy that he should be able to physically overpower a wolf, with difficulty. Dan probably can't though. Which is why it makes sense to put it in the almost definitely kills instead of for sure definitely kills.
A pack of wolves? No human is taking that on without ranged weapons and skill in using them. Even just two wolves, you'd need a spear to make it a fair fight. A single wolf? Can be beaten with good reflexes just by grabbing it and putting it in a choke hold. Wolves, large dogs, hyenas, jackals etc. all have crazy bite strength, but can do just about jack and shit if you manage to grab them. The danger of wolves and their reputation comes from their pack hunting capabilities, not their individual power.
@@gama343 my guy. You know how big wolves are? The chance for it to kill you is much higher than your chance of killing it.
@@thethespianx9185 but it's not a zero chance. that's all anybody has said.
the range of wolf sizes straddles the "could actually kill it by kicking it in the head hard enough" threshold. A small wolf, you can kill. a big one, you're dead.
I want someone to animate Arin and Dan fighting all of these animals xD
But let it be realistic and have Arin get beat by most of these animals lol
Looks like a job for shoocharu!
I want a video of Dan serenading Raccoons.
I love the juxtaposition of Danny saying "300 lbs of hard charging hog!" with the absolute cuteness of the hog in the picture. Laughed a ton on this one. Love the simulator episodes. Good to see GG still putting out some bangers.
I wonder how many newer grumps fans think Dan was just joking/lying when he mentioned he wrestled an alligator
Wrestling alligators is a thing, but once you have it there ... Then what?
But he just sat on it while his picture was taken
@@thezekroman You could probably just fully tilt back and snap it's spine, right?
@@balmoraman4 LOL you realize an average adult alligator weighs 600 lbs, you gonna lift that up and backwards from a sitting position on its back? That ain't happening unless you're Eddie-freaking-Hall
@@balmoraman4 thats a HUGE "probably" mate
I would move almost every one of their choices one closer to they kill me. I feel like they take not dying immediately as winning forgetting they have to actually kill this animal which in most cases is probably the hardest part
Pretty much anything that weighs less than 250 pounds isn't that hard for a human to kill, outside of exactly chimpanzee on this list. The problem is that everything above that weight limit is just a thing that no human could ever win a fight against. Realistically there are only 3 actual tiers. Small creatures just die. Medium sized cats and dogs, big flying birds, deer and gazelle, those fights could go either way. Literally everything else on the list cannot be killed by a human.
How would you ever do enough damage to a giraffe? Even if you had a kitchen knife you'd probably struggle to make a fatal blow
I feel like most of it comes down to primal desperation. Like many of the animals if I even wanted a chance I'd need to be willing to bite and gouge their eyes out or anything else that just sounds like a bad time. Like I considered if I had to fight a wolf I might even see if I can shove my entire arm in its mouth and do internal damage because I just feel like kicking it would piss it off more than it would damage or exhaust it. And maybe that kind of gory commentary is just bad TV as opposed to how hard I laughed when arin suggested body slamming a warthog
@@dontmisunderstand6041 Your smoking crack if you think under 250 isnt hard for a human to kill. Lower that to 140 and you might be right. Humans dont have any natural weapons and are fragile as shit. Plus we pound for pound are one of the weakest animals on the planet.
@@dontmisunderstand6041 I think everyone on this particular video misunderstands how hearty deer are. Especially if it's a buck. If you don't have a tool to kill a deer with, you're not winning the fight. Now if it was a doe? Then yeah, that's probably more of a fair fight.