What Animals Could I Beat In A Fight?

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  • Опубликовано: 7 фев 2025
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    Outro Song: @PlayaPhonkOfficial • SHOOTING STARS

Комментарии • 2,4 тыс.

  • @puurplegiraffe
    @puurplegiraffe 9 месяцев назад +1421

    Poison: Bite it, you die
    Venom: It bites you, you die

    • @uncanny4038
      @uncanny4038 9 месяцев назад +6

      not all the time

    • @yourstrulyraina
      @yourstrulyraina 9 месяцев назад +125

      @@uncanny4038 uh yeah that’s the definitions

    • @puurplegiraffe
      @puurplegiraffe 9 месяцев назад +79

      @@uncanny4038 yes, die is an exaggeration but it's good to keep in mind

    • @GooboobGogoboob
      @GooboobGogoboob 9 месяцев назад +14

      But isn't Venom an alien symbiote he can basically help you to fight all of em🤔?

    • @uncanny4038
      @uncanny4038 9 месяцев назад +1

      @@yourstrulyraina not all the time

  • @dontthey.
    @dontthey. 9 месяцев назад +434

    Him silently moving kangaroos from 50% to 20% after the chatter is hilarious 💀🤣

    • @Rancid_mayonnasie
      @Rancid_mayonnasie 4 месяца назад +8

      20 is far far to high

    • @Fugieko.
      @Fugieko. 4 месяца назад

      @@Rancid_mayonnasieno it’s not they are known to kill people

    • @beanphoenix
      @beanphoenix 3 месяца назад +2

      @@Rancid_mayonnasienahh joe like 6’1 and has lifted for a while, he could easily out grapple it

    • @Rancid_mayonnasie
      @Rancid_mayonnasie 3 месяца назад +7

      @@beanphoenix dude a kangeroo could disembowel joe with its feet

    • @random-qj6ih
      @random-qj6ih 3 месяца назад +3

      ​No. A kangaroo is fucking stomping Joe 😭​@@beanphoenix

  • @Doberman_1
    @Doberman_1 9 месяцев назад +1070

    This video tells me Joe has not watched casual geographic

    • @xrqvic4
      @xrqvic4 9 месяцев назад +36

      i love casual geo ohemgee

    • @im_m3
      @im_m3 7 месяцев назад +34

      He acts like an Ostrich cant Peck through your neck lmao

    • @im_m3
      @im_m3 7 месяцев назад +13

      Also he found like, the smallest possible Kangaroo Plus they have claws, humans dont

    • @im_m3
      @im_m3 7 месяцев назад +25

      19:45 Lets see,
      A bald eagle weighs up to 6.5 kg, (lets average down to 5)
      Bald eagle dive speed is 120km/h.
      If we check the amount of force that would create we would get:
      1/2*5*120*120
      Which equals to 2777 Joules
      How many Joules are needed to break a human skull? A little under 70, huh thats a lot less than 2700.
      Joe would immediately die if a bald eagle struck him in the head

    • @Daspunk790
      @Daspunk790 7 месяцев назад

      What Eagle is gonna suicide dive bomb into someone and im not sure the math is that simple 😂​@@im_m3

  • @ZingZing609
    @ZingZing609 8 месяцев назад +421

    The crazy thing is him putting the wild boar at 100 percent. He has no idea lol

    • @eddysw8549
      @eddysw8549 8 месяцев назад +48

      And the pig. Does he not realise how big they can get??

    • @dtyury
      @dtyury 8 месяцев назад +45

      Yeah, lots of nobles died hunting because of them in the middle ages, fully armed and equipped

    • @DDRHeretiC
      @DDRHeretiC 6 месяцев назад +5

      Didn't the king in GOT get wrecked by a boar?

    • @gregorylouis617
      @gregorylouis617 6 месяцев назад

      @@DDRHeretiC Yup...Boars are nasty little things, they kill humans more than what one would believe they could because people see a picture and say "oh hairy pig'...

    • @zoevillarreal2402
      @zoevillarreal2402 6 месяцев назад +1

      RUclips asked me how your comment made me feel

  • @fatjoker2970
    @fatjoker2970 8 месяцев назад +243

    Nobody talking about him dismissing the boar so quickly, but a lot of the time boars manage to kill or at least greatly injure prepared armed men. His ass is not beating a boar once in a hundred times with his bare hands 💀💀

    • @LuckyKlvrSyx
      @LuckyKlvrSyx 8 месяцев назад +7

      Nah I saw him do it

    • @ZappaSheik
      @ZappaSheik 8 месяцев назад +17

      I've seen a man kill a grown boar with his bare hands, just to save his 2 sons.
      It was horrific and at the same time proof that a father is unstoppable when it comes to his children.

    • @ironiccookies2320
      @ironiccookies2320 7 месяцев назад +8

      It's not 0% but it's not 100%. A lot of people in the Medieval in full armor died to wild boars during hunts

    • @joedirty1478
      @joedirty1478 5 месяцев назад +1

      Hell no boar bare handed no chance how strong does he think he is lmao

    • @M4J1N.
      @M4J1N. 4 месяца назад

      Nah he is, boars suck easy win for him

  • @willtedford6511
    @willtedford6511 9 месяцев назад +394

    “My odds are better against a wildebeest than a zebra” is crazy

    • @Combatgoblin83
      @Combatgoblin83 8 месяцев назад +14

      Yep, 0.01% to 0.011% 😂

    • @ZoroIsGone
      @ZoroIsGone 7 месяцев назад +9

      cow being 0% and bulldogs, hyena and wolves being 25%

    • @rustcohle9267
      @rustcohle9267 7 месяцев назад +4

      @@ZoroIsGone 25% hyena? Its 0%

    • @chaseallison9063
      @chaseallison9063 6 месяцев назад +6

      @@rustcohle9267real he doesn’t know the bite force of a hyena straight through your bones 😭

    • @Gypsydanger390
      @Gypsydanger390 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@chaseallison9063fr a single bite from a hyena would severe your arm

  • @joefather2463
    @joefather2463 9 месяцев назад +561

    Orangutan being lower than 0% is insane. They could tear people apart out of curiosity.

    • @CasualCat64
      @CasualCat64 9 месяцев назад +56

      The people weren’t Joe

    • @WalterWhite_3665
      @WalterWhite_3665 9 месяцев назад

      @@CasualCat64 it doesn't matter you give joe a machete and he would get absolutly bodied by an orangutan

    • @c0ltz450
      @c0ltz450 9 месяцев назад +6

      ​@CasualCat64 yeah Joe can take it. Even though they are almost as brutal as gorilla's.

    • @BeyondBasic2
      @BeyondBasic2 9 месяцев назад +19

      There has never been a documented attack by sn orangutan in the wild Like ever. And in captivity there were still very few attacks and the injuries weren't bad. You may be thinking of chimps

    • @joefather2463
      @joefather2463 9 месяцев назад +36

      @@BeyondBasic2 Ok? Theyre naturally not aggressive toward humans but that is not what this video is about. Theyre 5+ times stronger than humans, and documented fights with them has not ended up with the human winning

  • @Thebettergeorge
    @Thebettergeorge 9 месяцев назад +328

    33:58 it won a war against the Australian military, and the Australian military called it better, stronger, and faster than a tank. The emus took multiple bullets and still ran at full speed.

    • @BigBdog69
      @BigBdog69 9 месяцев назад +6

      I would bet my life he would destroy a emu please tell me how an emu could kill plz tell me

    • @CasualCat64
      @CasualCat64 9 месяцев назад +8

      He can still beat it bird bones are vulnerable to blunt attacks like kicks and punches if he breaks a limb which isn’t hard it’s over.

    • @InsincereMotives
      @InsincereMotives 9 месяцев назад +32

      @@BigBdog69 can kill a person through evisceration if it corners them and kicks with its big three-toed feet. The toe claws of emus are capable of inflicting serious injuries or even death under the right conditions. Reports of injuries from encounters with emus in Australia and other parts of the world are not uncommon, particularly in wild-animal parks, emu farms, and zoos. Emus can dash away at nearly 50 km (30 miles) per hour and kick with their powerful legs when threatened. I think Joe could probably take one but that is how an emu would kill. Now if it were a cassowary Joe is dead as hell.

    • @EeveetoUmbreon25
      @EeveetoUmbreon25 9 месяцев назад

      @@BigBdog69 one kick to your gut would have its foot coming out of your back

    • @ogku808s
      @ogku808s 9 месяцев назад +7

      The Australian military is backwards and incompetent. No shocker there. I think Joe should’ve moved it to 50 but emus are not in the weight and brute force class to match a human

  • @alihandroalessandro4533
    @alihandroalessandro4533 9 месяцев назад +62

    Joe putting a baboon in the 100% category is crazy

    • @hondaaccord1399
      @hondaaccord1399 8 месяцев назад

      Literally unless an ape is a half or quarter your height, it's slaughtering you

    • @Melvin-nt9xu
      @Melvin-nt9xu 6 месяцев назад

      Baboons are very small tho compared to other apes and the only thing going for them is their intimidating teeth. But most primates like chimpanzees would absolutely destroy him or most humans in a fight

  • @HK3clips3
    @HK3clips3 8 месяцев назад +25

    Hello! Australian here about the kangaroos. I would say if you fought a kangaroo it would be a 50/50 because kangaroos don't enjoy murdering creatures bigger than itself. Unless your fighting a fully grown male (2m tall) the kangaroo is probably going to stay away from you because you appear larger. If it's a fight to the death, you're probably gonna get a 20/80 chance. Kangaroos tails are so strong they can stay up on top of them to kick. Their legs are strong enough to get you on the ground in one kick, and their claws are sharp enough to rip apart your skin in one slash. It really depends what kind of kangaroo you're fighting. If you're fighting fully grown males then you have about a 0% survival chance (to the death). If it's average sized you'd have a 20% and if it's small you'd probably get off with a solid 75. Male kangaroos are very deadly, and are extremely intimidating.

    • @ccccccc4546
      @ccccccc4546 8 месяцев назад

      Yea because he’d win against a female kangaroo

    • @HK3clips3
      @HK3clips3 8 месяцев назад

      @@ccccccc4546 Well he was talking about fully grown males for all the other animals. Why not kangaroos?

    • @beanphoenix
      @beanphoenix 3 месяца назад

      the kangaroo realistically isnt taking a clean hook

    • @random-qj6ih
      @random-qj6ih Месяц назад

      ​@@ccccccc4546Female Kangaroos are tiny. They're like 80 pounds 😂

    • @therizzler-k3n
      @therizzler-k3n Месяц назад

      i’ve seen a man square up to a kangaroo then right hook it in the face, it ran like the wind. if you think joe isn’t beating it your crazy

  • @larryandfuzz
    @larryandfuzz 9 месяцев назад +109

    16:30 I just want to mention the difference between a moose and a deer to just show how strong a moose actually is.
    What i mean by that is that if there was a deer on the road, its safer to hit it than to try and dodge it, however if a moose is on the road, its safer to dodge it, as driving into a moose has been described as “driving into a brick wall.”

    • @technorl_tt
      @technorl_tt 9 месяцев назад +10

      You have a better survival chance if you get hit with a fat man (atomic bomb) than if you hit a moose going like 80 mph

    • @IdFk-l9v
      @IdFk-l9v 9 месяцев назад

      Joe said this in the video but yes exactly

    • @requiemsonyoutube
      @requiemsonyoutube 2 месяца назад

      @@technorl_ttLOL

  • @Phantomxvz
    @Phantomxvz 9 месяцев назад +723

    even though he put it at 0%, if anyone were to try and fight a bear it'd be Joe out of sheer confidence

    • @Plonst
      @Plonst 9 месяцев назад +12

      According to Joe it helps if it's hairless

    • @Phantomxvz
      @Phantomxvz 9 месяцев назад +11

      @@Plonst I mean it’d make it harder to like grab on to it

    • @streamerHDclips
      @streamerHDclips 9 месяцев назад

      @@Phantomxvzsay pause or else your gay 🏳️‍🌈

    • @mehb0ss73
      @mehb0ss73 9 месяцев назад +2

      No

    • @uncanny4038
      @uncanny4038 9 месяцев назад +1

      @@mehb0ss73yes he would

  • @pantsoiler28
    @pantsoiler28 9 месяцев назад +359

    joe acting like he wouldn't tear every animal to shreds for the whole video🙏🙏

    • @Plutopongovideos
      @Plutopongovideos 9 месяцев назад +24

      The bear would tear him open

    • @TurmoilTheThird
      @TurmoilTheThird 9 месяцев назад +21

      The crocodile would rip his limbs off

    • @lightlingzooma-69
      @lightlingzooma-69 9 месяцев назад +18

      Kangaroos have sharp claws so if you strangle it, it can rip your hands

    • @Plutopongovideos
      @Plutopongovideos 9 месяцев назад +5

      Joe could toss a goose away

    • @ToxicTiger_Tx4
      @ToxicTiger_Tx4 9 месяцев назад +10

      @@lightlingzooma-69 He underestimated kangaroos, they are way stronger than a human is. Not only can their kicks break your fucking ribb cage open, they also can strike you with their tail.

  • @shadw7090
    @shadw7090 9 месяцев назад +228

    Bro thinks he’s Hercules 😭

    • @bridgetfornengo8785
      @bridgetfornengo8785 4 месяца назад +2

      Fr

    • @karicrouse2931
      @karicrouse2931 4 месяца назад +3

      I’m sorry for correcting you but do you mean Heracles

    • @midwayfx
      @midwayfx 4 месяца назад +10

      @@karicrouse2931 you know heracles is the greek name and hercules is the roman name right?

    • @trvnthch
      @trvnthch 2 месяца назад

      @@karicrouse2931her-cyoo-leez, herrah-cleese, huh

    • @DefinitelyLebronJames
      @DefinitelyLebronJames 2 месяца назад

      @@karicrouse2931it’s a hero from Greek mythology😂

  • @boomguycalledbobthatbooms
    @boomguycalledbobthatbooms 9 месяцев назад +171

    Brother. An orangutan will tear your face apart. Literally. They aim for the nose, ears and all non fatal areas to cause the most pain before they kill you. Thats with most apes too. They are scary bro.
    Edit: 8 months later and I'm still wondering why so many people liked this comment 😭

    • @hondaaccord1399
      @hondaaccord1399 8 месяцев назад

      Only an ape knows how to cause the most pain against an ape 😂

    • @COVID-19_Crab
      @COVID-19_Crab 8 месяцев назад +9

      Isn't that chimps?

    • @1000g2g3g4g800999
      @1000g2g3g4g800999 7 месяцев назад

      @@COVID-19_Crab I'm pretty sure any great ape, including humans can. Kind of irrelevant citing an injury inflicted on someone by their pet they had no intention of harming in a fight.
      Also, I don't know where this stuff about apes being so savage and brutal is coming from, Gorillas and Orangutans aren't known for being nearly as mean as chimps, though they are stronger.
      Also, chimps aren't even stronger than humans, it's an old myth that needs to die, their pulling strength with their arms is stronger relative to their size, but because they're smaller it evens out. They also have good grip strength. In every other respect strength with their arms or legs would be measured, they are completely outclassed.

    • @JustSeb825825_p4ssw0rd
      @JustSeb825825_p4ssw0rd 7 месяцев назад

      @@COVID-19_Crabyes, this is with chimps. that being said tho joe would die to an orangutan more than likely.

    • @Zozz-tw9vn
      @Zozz-tw9vn 6 месяцев назад

      @@COVID-19_Crabmost apes fight like each other

  • @NoobBacon21
    @NoobBacon21 9 месяцев назад +758

    Not the Chat screaming *GYATTTT!!* while joe Flexing💀 Edit: Holy didnt realize this comment would blow up

  • @rayraygames13
    @rayraygames13 9 месяцев назад +234

    Not Joe mounting the ostrich like a lynel 💀

    • @Joploppy
      @Joploppy 9 месяцев назад +17

      Ostrich is a 0 too. Those things are psychos

    • @drk166
      @drk166 9 месяцев назад +21

      ostrich's can sometimes kill lions, joe is not winning 💀

    • @technorl_tt
      @technorl_tt 9 месяцев назад +1

      @@drk166cap

    • @Buttermilks-b7q
      @Buttermilks-b7q 9 месяцев назад +17

      @@technorl_tt it’s true in Australia I’ve seen ostriches kill a lion, they are very powerful animals and there ain’t no way he’s winning

    • @nilaaplayzyt
      @nilaaplayzyt 9 месяцев назад

      ​@Condorkeysyou just gotta scare the ostrich and if you do(not unlikely), then he'll just put his head into the ground and stay there while u can kill it

  • @doomguy3358
    @doomguy3358 9 месяцев назад +51

    I can’t stop thinking of how Joe would have a goofy ass family guy fight with these animals

  • @NolanRohloff
    @NolanRohloff 5 месяцев назад +17

    Bros self confidence is crazy he’s not beating 99% of the animals on the list he just bases his chances on weight nothing more

    • @krys7643
      @krys7643 5 месяцев назад +2

      I wouldn’t say 99% although he’s not beating an eagle, orangutan, wildebeest, and a kangaroo

    • @pvrfxct5430
      @pvrfxct5430 16 дней назад

      @@krys7643 eagle is possible and average non orange kangaroo is possible

    • @flynnhill3219
      @flynnhill3219 7 дней назад

      @@pvrfxct5430kangaroo is absolutely not possible they can grow up more than 7 feet tall. They have rock hard muscles and they can stand on there tail and kill you in 1 kick. These dumb Americans are seriously pissing me off

  • @Misomoyi
    @Misomoyi 9 месяцев назад +54

    Joe is being a bit too confident 💀

  • @dylantrashmint8379
    @dylantrashmint8379 9 месяцев назад +46

    I think the mark Zuckerberg one just represents humans.

    • @floatingcantaloupe
      @floatingcantaloupe 9 месяцев назад +18

      hey! the person who made the tier list here. Mark represents the lizard family.

    • @empyr1al838
      @empyr1al838 9 месяцев назад

      🤓

    • @LeoLau-jw7ji
      @LeoLau-jw7ji 9 месяцев назад +3

      nononononono he's mark MARK Mark Zuckerberg has raised internet eyebrows after revealing he has taken part in an intensive challenge in which he ran a mile, completed 100 pull-ups, 200 press-ups and 300 squats, before running a further mile, all while wearing a 9kg weighted vest.

    • @buddybrick
      @buddybrick 7 месяцев назад

      ​@@LeoLau-jw7jihe also won many grappling taurnament. Local tournament ofcaurce

    • @sam_the_dusty4156
      @sam_the_dusty4156 7 месяцев назад +1

      he represents skinwalkers

  • @meowmeow-gc5nv
    @meowmeow-gc5nv 9 месяцев назад +66

    Man only took like 2 years to do this, man was edging us 🙏💀

    • @Daspankyfish
      @Daspankyfish 9 месяцев назад +7

      Bro what!?💀

    • @Fleetstreetbestone
      @Fleetstreetbestone 7 месяцев назад

      no way bro thats rad af my guy!!!!!

    • @andrewjones4774
      @andrewjones4774 6 месяцев назад

      “Edging” 😭😭☠️☠️☠️😐😐🤔👁️👄👁️

  • @CadenBrewer-v4q
    @CadenBrewer-v4q 9 месяцев назад +13

    This video was actually one of my favorites great job Joe

  • @UuGgCc
    @UuGgCc 9 месяцев назад +176

    Joe stop just looking at weight and height u gotta look up how many people they've injured or killed and their bite force. Sorry u have no chance against a hyena or emu😭🙏🏼💀

    • @ChickenNugget-nv2cg
      @ChickenNugget-nv2cg 9 месяцев назад +9

      what nah hed def have a chance against an emu. hyena nah but emu ya fs

    • @drphilsranch6782
      @drphilsranch6782 8 месяцев назад +18

      @@ChickenNugget-nv2cg, Emus are basically modern day dinosaurs. He has no chance.

    • @hondaaccord1399
      @hondaaccord1399 8 месяцев назад +12

      ​@@ChickenNugget-nv2cg
      Emus couldn't be beaten by three men with a jeep and a machine gun

    • @fuerstmetternich1997
      @fuerstmetternich1997 8 месяцев назад +1

      Hyena no chance cause it fights all the time but Emu? What is a long necked bird gonna do? Peck? Ok and then when its neck is grabbed and crushed? Or if you kick its legs?

    • @UuGgCc
      @UuGgCc 8 месяцев назад +10

      @@fuerstmetternich1997 u do know how strong emus necks and legs are right?😭

  • @Philllllllllllllllllll
    @Philllllllllllllllllll 9 месяцев назад +12

    The way he kept circling back to fucking up the kangaroo had me crying

  • @Tghddfds
    @Tghddfds 9 месяцев назад +68

    Bro forgot that kangaroos have claws that can rip through concrete.

    • @Combatgoblin83
      @Combatgoblin83 8 месяцев назад +11

      They also forget they’re 7ft tall and built like powerlifters 😂

    • @Saki_editsOnAe
      @Saki_editsOnAe 8 месяцев назад

      Apparently if u hit a kangaroo with a car it'll do more damage to the car than the kangaroo

    • @1000g2g3g4g800999
      @1000g2g3g4g800999 7 месяцев назад +3

      @@Saki_editsOnAe The car will get wrecked, the Kangaroo will die.

    • @Tryingtosub4kpeople
      @Tryingtosub4kpeople 6 месяцев назад

      They can kick so unbelievably hard he never rlly mentioned that

  • @kayleeknight9930
    @kayleeknight9930 9 месяцев назад +31

    The only animals Joe could possibly beat is the animals Val.
    Bet he’s going to use this tier list as a way to gloat

    • @alessandraperez3081
      @alessandraperez3081 9 месяцев назад +2

      what gloat💀

    • @IlIA8lTIll.
      @IlIA8lTIll. 9 месяцев назад

      @@alessandraperez3081English?

    • @0P09PQ
      @0P09PQ 9 месяцев назад

      joe was just too focused on the weight class

    • @LethalByChoice
      @LethalByChoice 7 месяцев назад +1

      @@0P09PQ He doesn't realize weight isn't everything when an animal has laws and a wild instinct.

  • @_Gam3r
    @_Gam3r 9 месяцев назад +25

    joe: ladybug 0% chance
    also joe: wolf, hyena, snake, ostrich, kangaroo 20% chance

  • @troytueller9992
    @troytueller9992 8 месяцев назад +7

    Joes number one route to killing something is to “jump on its back”

  • @NA-zz4ug
    @NA-zz4ug 7 месяцев назад +11

    Most zookeepers prefer going into a lion cage to feed them than a zebra.

  • @JA6XN
    @JA6XN 9 месяцев назад +17

    2:28 everyone in chat started saying *”GYATT”* 💀💀💀💀

    • @stoopid.ideeit
      @stoopid.ideeit 9 месяцев назад +5

      I was on the stream, I was one of them 😭🙏

    • @Pinej-46
      @Pinej-46 9 месяцев назад +1

      It ok I did it to 😂😂😂

  • @bryerc5785
    @bryerc5785 9 месяцев назад +11

    17:00 fun fact, mose eyes dont reflect light so u cant see them on the road at night thats why so many people hit them and die

  • @Supercooolguy
    @Supercooolguy 9 месяцев назад +64

    Putting mark and a silverback gorilla in the same category is just not right😭

    • @Jesus_Christ_Is_Lord09
      @Jesus_Christ_Is_Lord09 7 месяцев назад +8

      Can I just remind you something or tell you? Well. Heres a reminder: Jesus Christ, The true God came down to earth because he loves you and He did something so loving. He died for your sins, And Not only that he died so you can have a decision, To follow Jesus Christ and follow him to heaven, Or Deny his offer for salvation and eternal life and instead choose to suffer eternally in hell. Jesus Christ wants us to go to heaven and save us from ourselfs, Because we are sinners. Thats why I Kindly ask you, Give Jesus Christ a chance. If you have any questions Or anything to say, Please tell me. And Ill answer. May Jesus Christ bless you, truly and may he be with you. Amen. 🙏🏼🙏🏼 .

    • @someguy2819
      @someguy2819 5 месяцев назад +3

      Agreed. Mark is far more powerful than a silverback gorilla.

    • @Jesus_Christ_Is_Lord09
      @Jesus_Christ_Is_Lord09 5 месяцев назад

      @@someguy2819 Yo. Can I Please remind you of the Good news? If so. Please know Jesus Christ, the perfect human being, Being full God and full man. Gave his own life for you, And everyone. He did it so you can be forgiven, and saved. Because of what Jesus Christ did, You noe have eternal life. When infact, You are unworthy to have it. It is Given. Please, Repent and Have faith in Jesus Christ. For he is, THE Lord and savior ☦️🙏🏼 God Bless. Amen

  • @ghostlyhell500
    @ghostlyhell500 2 месяца назад +4

    33:50 Hey, don't judge an emu, we lost a war to them....

  • @escanor1794
    @escanor1794 8 месяцев назад +14

    21:15 I know a person who went on a one-person trip and met a wolf. He did not have his weapon because he was in the tent and fought with the wolf. He lost an eye and his face was cut into pieces, but in the end he killed the wolf.

    • @NitrogenVM
      @NitrogenVM 7 месяцев назад

      it was a sigma wolf (literally)

    • @adamamar5100
      @adamamar5100 7 месяцев назад

      I won but at what cost

    • @LethalByChoice
      @LethalByChoice 7 месяцев назад

      Bet you it was a small wolf that he could ragdoll. Any wolf over 100 pounds is GOING to kill you if you have no weapons. You have no chance of winning.

  • @user-sy2gh6vm8v
    @user-sy2gh6vm8v 9 месяцев назад +22

    35:58 a Wildebeest at 20%? Do you know how strong they are, they kill big cats and many other carnivores. That’s an instant 0%

    • @Taost.
      @Taost. 9 месяцев назад +3

      same with hyena and zebra

    • @CasualCat64
      @CasualCat64 9 месяцев назад

      20 is fair all it takes is a lucky stick shot which is exactly what 20% is

    • @Mr_Chili05
      @Mr_Chili05 9 месяцев назад

      ⁠@@CasualCat64no a single lucky stick shot is hurting a wildebeast they would fuck you up

    • @user-sy2gh6vm8v
      @user-sy2gh6vm8v 9 месяцев назад +2

      @@CasualCat64 yeah but even 20% is a stretch, maybe like 5%

    • @CasualCat64
      @CasualCat64 9 месяцев назад +2

      @@user-sy2gh6vm8v I’d say 5% is an average teens chances with an average adult male fairing a little better at 10% assuming they both have weapons to puncture skin. Joe is 2x that of the average man strength wise.

  • @simohayha4152
    @simohayha4152 9 месяцев назад +34

    those Kangaroos can quite literally disembowel with a single kick

    • @CasualCat64
      @CasualCat64 9 месяцев назад +6

      Ez parry intelligence diff

    • @JacqueBibblequip
      @JacqueBibblequip 9 месяцев назад

      One goober acc rolled a 1 and got 1 shotted

    • @Bane520
      @Bane520 9 месяцев назад +9

      Not a single kick. They can be dangerous sure but the "average joe" could fuck them up. Their legs are the only real issue, and I can't imagine they're that hard to outmaneuver. I don't know why people are so heavily overestimating kangaroos.

    • @cloudyskies9897
      @cloudyskies9897 8 месяцев назад +2

      @@Bane520bluds delusional

    • @Bane520
      @Bane520 8 месяцев назад

      @@cloudyskies9897 How?

  • @vfxkasai
    @vfxkasai 9 месяцев назад +41

    Bro has a 0 % chance against an bald eagle coming at you at 99 mph💀

    • @Gort_the_surf1123
      @Gort_the_surf1123 9 месяцев назад +10

      You wouldn't stand a chance in a hand-to-hand fight with an eagle. Eagles are powerful birds with sharp talons and beaks designed for hunting. Their grip strength is immense, and their agility in the air far surpasses anything a human can achieve. Even if you managed to grab an eagle, it would likely slash or peck you with its beak before you could overpower it.

    • @xN0XvRVLEZx
      @xN0XvRVLEZx 8 месяцев назад +13

      @@Gort_the_surf1123u can just shatter its bones with ur grip alone

    • @externish
      @externish 8 месяцев назад +5

      ​@@Gort_the_surf1123dude their like 1/3 the size of humans

    • @scienceisthetruth5927
      @scienceisthetruth5927 8 месяцев назад +11

      ​@@Bigbob508 Are you serious dude? Break all the bones in your body in one hit? Eagles are not pragrene falcons,they do not divebomb and if the eagle even tried that, the thing that would be heard from impact would be a splash and the eagle turned unrecognizable even if the human is severely injured afterwards (always depending on the point of contact ofc). At the end of the day,as long as you keep both if your hands in front of your face the eagle can't do anything.

    • @Bro-dot-
      @Bro-dot- 8 месяцев назад +3

      @@Gort_the_surf1123 You say birds are designed for hunting forgetting humans are literally the top animal at hunting.

  • @camrobischon4369
    @camrobischon4369 5 месяцев назад +2

    The image i've painted in my head of Joe hopping on an ostrich and giving it an indian burn is fucking hilarious

  • @krimsonspider
    @krimsonspider 8 месяцев назад +6

    Now do "Which horror villains could I beat in a fight"

  • @vksorkz8256
    @vksorkz8256 2 месяца назад +3

    20:14 Joe is fighting the ender dragon irl💀💀

  • @ZANNERZAVITZ
    @ZANNERZAVITZ 9 месяцев назад +8

    Joe: im gonna be rubbing his neck, im gonna be chokin it

    • @doomsday24
      @doomsday24 7 месяцев назад

      "MMMMM OHH YEAAAH"

  • @dillonbradbury4991
    @dillonbradbury4991 8 месяцев назад +12

    Guys.. giraffes kill lions all the time by stomping them to death.
    You have 0 chance 😂

    • @mohamedabsiye2634
      @mohamedabsiye2634 5 месяцев назад +1

      A pack of lions could kill a giraffe

    • @VachoMachoMan
      @VachoMachoMan 5 месяцев назад +1

      @@mohamedabsiye2634can you fight off a pack of lions

    • @RomanoImperium
      @RomanoImperium Месяц назад +1

      ​@@VachoMachoMan a peak human could. If we took a caveman and subject him to the best workouts and muscle training available, he might be able to take on a coupl of lions (granted he would need at least a small stone dagger or smth)

    • @davisl5694
      @davisl5694 Месяц назад +2

      @RomanoImperium I’ve never seen someone dumber. The fact that you said multiple lions makes it even worse.

  • @nateroo1486
    @nateroo1486 4 месяца назад +2

    it's funnier to me that he thinks he can wipe the floor with a wild boar and a baboon but put a manatee (what he thought was a beluga) in "i die 100%" lol

  • @CheeseburberOfficial
    @CheeseburberOfficial Месяц назад +1

    11:28 "Honestly. hear me out. Get up on it's back..."- Joe Bart, April 21, 2024

  • @sane1125
    @sane1125 7 месяцев назад +6

    chimp at 0 but orangutan at 20 is crazy

    • @3van27
      @3van27 3 месяца назад +1

      Both are 0 tbh

    • @Mrhugofrosty
      @Mrhugofrosty 16 дней назад

      @@3van27not really tho. A chimp is 0% sure but a orangutang are not angry animals that want to kill and also have a insanely slow moving speed

  • @ArtyPping
    @ArtyPping 9 месяцев назад +4

    "he is probably thinking about other girls"
    him:

  • @MaryGrace2326
    @MaryGrace2326 5 месяцев назад +1

    This video is the epitome of a breakfast bagel while being hungover

  • @randomperson4410
    @randomperson4410 3 месяца назад +2

    The one animal he could actually defeat and he puts a damn cheetah up on his non survivable 😭😭

  • @dwoods3244
    @dwoods3244 9 месяцев назад +38

    You guys think Joe still thinks he could beam an eagle dive bombing him with a rock? He’s still not easily beating an eagle tbh. Joe really think he’s a baseball pitcher and could snipe an eagle dive bombing at him with a small rock with ease.

    • @RhonePitini-ql7pw
      @RhonePitini-ql7pw 9 месяцев назад +3

      100% Joe is built different

    • @benradey379
      @benradey379 9 месяцев назад +10

      Def not sniping it out of the sky but definitely beating it once you get a hold of it.

    • @YHWHsam
      @YHWHsam 9 месяцев назад +4

      It’s 14 pounds he’s winning at least 75% of the time

    • @EeveetoUmbreon25
      @EeveetoUmbreon25 9 месяцев назад

      I give human vs eagle a 50/50, if the eagle is smart it dive bombs while using its talons to tear me apart. If its stupid, it will most likely launch a frontal assault by clawing at my face with its claws while flapping its wings, at which point as long as you tank the damage from the claws, you should be able to get a hold of the bird and end it. But depends on the bird, if it does bird things you gotta get lucky or die

    • @nilaaplayzyt
      @nilaaplayzyt 9 месяцев назад

      ​@@EeveetoUmbreon25as if i couldnt weave that mf thats comming from miles away

  • @J6ZX
    @J6ZX 9 месяцев назад +3

    i love you joe but you should follow your merch’s advice and think for yourself; kangaroos most definitely do *not* drown dogs for fun, they are known to lead pursuing predators into nearby water if available and drown them in it as a defence mechanism.
    the idea they go around drowning dogs specifically and that any of it is for fun is untrue, they simply use water to defend themselves if it seems the most viable option to them at the time.

    • @Bane520
      @Bane520 9 месяцев назад

      They're also not as impossibly strong as people think. Just look at threads of people asking which would win, human or kangaroo, the replies are insane.

    • @J6ZX
      @J6ZX 9 месяцев назад

      @@Bane520 yeah, i mean it’s understandable since most people aren’t exactly looking at how animals hold up in a fight, obviously kangaroos are great boxers, but they’re definitely more realistically beatable then a bloody ostrich

  • @tannercarr1335
    @tannercarr1335 9 месяцев назад +17

    bear back-shots is crazy

    • @stoopid.ideeit
      @stoopid.ideeit 9 месяцев назад

      Fr but what’s with the timestamp?

  • @Macaroniman129
    @Macaroniman129 4 месяца назад +1

    Joe doesn’t realize that if you get on something’s back it will buck you off instantly

  • @ChainBreakingMenace
    @ChainBreakingMenace 9 месяцев назад +2

    Just imagining Joe fighting a shark on land. Yknow just casually pulling up a chair sitting down, putting on some music.

  • @videogames7032
    @videogames7032 8 месяцев назад +5

    bruh you not hitting an eagle with a rock when it's dive bombing you xD

    • @AvarFPS
      @AvarFPS 8 месяцев назад

      Eagles don't dive bomb and if it did then it would immediately pass out or die

    • @marcelomelo9977
      @marcelomelo9977 8 месяцев назад

      Only falcons, which are commically small, do that and even then once an eagle comes close it's game over from there

    • @videogames7032
      @videogames7032 8 месяцев назад

      ​@@marcelomelo9977 lol, I've seen bald eagles fish, and not to mention they also dive bomb while mating

    • @videogames7032
      @videogames7032 8 месяцев назад

      @@AvarFPS lol, I've seen bald eagles fish, and not to mention they also dive bomb while mating

    • @AvarFPS
      @AvarFPS 8 месяцев назад

      @@videogames7032 that would be suicide if they hit a human

  • @CrimsonKOSER
    @CrimsonKOSER 8 месяцев назад +5

    Kangaroos buff asf in you just haven’t seen the right pictures

  • @ernestdominguez9320
    @ernestdominguez9320 6 месяцев назад +10

    This guy put boar at 100%. I'd say he's lucky if he even survives an encounter with one lol.

    • @NikoGartelos
      @NikoGartelos 5 месяцев назад

      Yeah Joe probably would have a tough time with one

    • @PowerScale-y1r
      @PowerScale-y1r Месяц назад

      Bro was thinking of the small species

  • @addie211
    @addie211 6 месяцев назад +1

    I love the story’s that go along with all this

  • @mininggypsy499
    @mininggypsy499 6 месяцев назад

    “I’m likely more intelligent than these animals” is wild😂😂

  • @jonnyisbarretta
    @jonnyisbarretta 9 месяцев назад +20

    You’re getting destroyed by an orangutan

  • @TSH3890
    @TSH3890 8 месяцев назад +11

    Spider Crabs are super overpowered. They are Durable enough to survive pressure strong enough to crush the titanic in half a second. It also has the claws that can rip right through bones. 0% No luck can help you survive against this monstrosity

    • @Melvin-nt9xu
      @Melvin-nt9xu 6 месяцев назад +1

      I think the biggest problem is to survive their environment

    • @TSH3890
      @TSH3890 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@Melvin-nt9xu well even if it was in a fair environment where both of them can survive. The crab would just crack open his skull

    • @Melvin-nt9xu
      @Melvin-nt9xu 6 месяцев назад +3

      @@TSH3890 Spider crabs are generally not dangerous to humans. They are large and can be intimidating due to their size and appearance, but they are not aggressive towards people. Their primary defense mechanism is to retreat rather than to attack. In their natural habitat, they usually keep to themselves and avoid contact with humans.
      - Chat GPT

    • @Melvin-nt9xu
      @Melvin-nt9xu 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@TSH3890 I also asked what kind of injury their claws would cause to a hand.
      The responds:
      If a spider crab were to pinch a hand, it could cause minor injuries such as bruising, pinching, or scratches. The claws might cause some pain and discomfort, and in more severe cases, they could break the skin or cause a small laceration. However, their claws are not typically strong enough to cause serious or deep injuries.

  • @nerf.miner1
    @nerf.miner1 9 месяцев назад +13

    Nah the Tasmanian tiger wild kratts episode went hard

  • @granvilledavid7814
    @granvilledavid7814 3 месяца назад +1

    Sea Turtles are known for getting in fights with Tiger Sharks.

  • @MohameedMosa-l6x
    @MohameedMosa-l6x День назад +1

    Sloths have the strength of 3 men and can withstand the drop of 100 feet with no injuries

  • @therent7161
    @therent7161 9 месяцев назад +4

    Joe bart is the goat of streamers 🐐

  • @theral_24karatgarrett
    @theral_24karatgarrett 7 месяцев назад +4

    Joe tryna act humble damn well knowing he would shred 10 of every animal on this list all at the same time with ease

    • @Liam12431
      @Liam12431 7 месяцев назад

      Not really

    • @drubble1410
      @drubble1410 7 месяцев назад +2

      @@Liam12431 almost as if hes joking pal

  • @Mogsillq
    @Mogsillq 9 месяцев назад +20

    Joe is not killing a wolf 😭

    • @LethalByChoice
      @LethalByChoice 7 месяцев назад

      He's literally not. The vast majority with no weapons are NOT killing a wolf. Joe's friend who said he could kill two wolves with his bare hands is an idiot. Wolves can weigh up to 120-150 pounds and there's wolves in Alaska that can weigh more than that. Their bite force can go up to 1000 to 1500 psi.
      There is a very good reason why there's breeds of dogs that are literally bred to kill wolves because the majority of dog species cannot 1v1 a wolf and win, they will get their shit rocked for multiple reasons. Inferior muscular strength, smaller teeth, weaker jaw muscles, weaker fighting instinct, etc.
      Joe's friend is not killing *one* wolf let alone *two.*
      Joe is 100% dead.

    • @user-zz7zh7yv3t
      @user-zz7zh7yv3t 7 месяцев назад +4

      Depends on the species of wolf
      There are wolves which are quiet small and some others get much larger

    • @LethalByChoice
      @LethalByChoice 7 месяцев назад

      @@user-zz7zh7yv3t Apparently RUclips deleted my comment but I was saying a wolf around 100 pounds or larger Joe is not beating and his friend is delusional for saying he could take on one wolf let alone two. Small wolves sure but if we're talking wolves from canada or alaska which can weigh well over 100 pounds up to 175lbs yeah no Joe is not beating them in a fight.

    • @Mogsillq
      @Mogsillq 7 месяцев назад

      @@user-zz7zh7yv3t Joe gets killed his bench is 250 wich is ok but I bench 335 do muy Thai and I even I think I’m getting killed

    • @Melvin-nt9xu
      @Melvin-nt9xu 6 месяцев назад

      Grey wolf probably no but even then it’s maybe I’m not sure.

  • @uniqu3usern4m3
    @uniqu3usern4m3 3 месяца назад +1

    Crazy thing is that kangaroos use their arms to hold their enemies and then kick hard and dig their claws into whatever they're fighting, so you'll most likely get disemboweled

  • @JDT0801
    @JDT0801 8 месяцев назад +2

    I’m going straight for the eyes on every single one of em😂

    • @SeifEldeen-r7p
      @SeifEldeen-r7p 6 месяцев назад

      That still wouldn't help against any of the 20% and the 0%

    • @Melvin-nt9xu
      @Melvin-nt9xu 6 месяцев назад

      @@SeifEldeen-r7pit would definitely help against the shark but you probably lose a leg or life C:

  • @stealthy1017
    @stealthy1017 9 месяцев назад +65

    Vegan Teacher is not gonna like this one

  • @MatthewDiaz-uh2ob
    @MatthewDiaz-uh2ob 9 месяцев назад +15

    Under one century gang 👇

  • @JuicedaGOAT-u7n
    @JuicedaGOAT-u7n 7 месяцев назад +3

    7:25 L take

  • @gage8160
    @gage8160 29 дней назад +2

    14:28 Joe please never make it seem like there is a difference between a buck and a deer, one just has antlers.

    • @waffle_644
      @waffle_644 15 дней назад

      I think he meant buck or doe, the two different sexes of deer. In that case, it would make a difference. Males are much stronger than females.

  • @Mammals511
    @Mammals511 6 месяцев назад +2

    The fact that you think you have 20% chance against the zebra in a camel is wild though. In real life with no weapon around you. I give it a little bit less than 20. 😂😂

    • @almac9203
      @almac9203 5 месяцев назад

      A zerbra can break a lions jaw with a kick so if it connects it is over. I would put the chances at zero. Most of these fights are zero.

  • @johnhilbert9130
    @johnhilbert9130 8 месяцев назад +3

    nah the wolf one is valid, there was a big ass german shepherd coming at me and i flipped that mf

    • @johnhilbert9130
      @johnhilbert9130 8 месяцев назад +2

      ..and with large dogs as long as u try to keep ur arteries safe and stay up off the floor you will most likely be able to concuss the dog i would get a rock in this situation so ye

    • @Skyypixelgamer
      @Skyypixelgamer 8 месяцев назад

      True but wolves tend to be bigger than German shepherds especially the North American ones.

    • @lilminty3067
      @lilminty3067 8 месяцев назад +7

      @@johnhilbert9130dawg you not beating no wolf. a wolf would punk a german shepherd. these kids need to stay off the internet

    • @blabla-fw9ix
      @blabla-fw9ix 8 месяцев назад

      @@lilminty3067 A lot of people are delusional here including the guy that made the video . Wolves can reach 75 kg of mass , have such a strong bite that they can break your bones . Maybe a guy like Brian Shaw has a chance but for most men fighting a wolf is a death sentence .

    • @ccccccc4546
      @ccccccc4546 8 месяцев назад +1

      I don’t think you understand how huge wolves are compared to even the largest dog breed. Even their teeth and claws are larger. You would not flip a wolf.

  • @Ben_MC5
    @Ben_MC5 9 месяцев назад +21

    Day 5 of telling Joe he’s so cute

  • @Meme_Capybara
    @Meme_Capybara 9 месяцев назад +5

    Nah, id win

  • @corbinho11
    @corbinho11 9 месяцев назад +2

    The bald eagle call was insane, aren't their claws bigger than human hands?

  • @LiamIc_y
    @LiamIc_y Месяц назад

    A Joe vid a day keeps the depression away even tho I’m late…

  • @veganator2683
    @veganator2683 7 месяцев назад +8

    Bro thinks he can kill a zebra with his bare hands when a fucking lion struggles to do so...

  • @ilyyCREA
    @ilyyCREA 9 месяцев назад +18

    doing a push up for every like this gets 😂😢

    • @Lukemp1771
      @Lukemp1771 9 месяцев назад +3

      Like bait

    • @mr_kos287
      @mr_kos287 8 месяцев назад

      ur ass wont do a single one 😂😢

    • @Cybrsp6
      @Cybrsp6 8 месяцев назад

      Wtf is a push up?

    • @mr_kos287
      @mr_kos287 8 месяцев назад

      @@Cybrsp6 when you push upwards or smth

    • @rumpope
      @rumpope 8 месяцев назад +2

      @Cybrsp6 it’s where you put one hand on the ground then put your other hand like a foot to the right and then stretch your back fully out and put your feet in in the same way as your hands and then push up and then push down to like have a foot above the ground.

  • @GodVR1800
    @GodVR1800 9 месяцев назад +6

    The vegan teacher be like😱😱

  • @justtulip8936
    @justtulip8936 9 месяцев назад

    I love Joe’s videos they always make me laugh I’m glad I found his channel ❤

  • @gojiberrii1261
    @gojiberrii1261 8 месяцев назад +1

    Just a few things to point out:
    .Kangaroos have large claws on their feet that could do some serious damage
    .Camels can be extremely aggressive and easily bite off fingers/hands or mutilate you
    .Eagles lift deer and goats and throw them off cliffs, they aren't exactly pushovers
    .Zebra would absolutely decimate you, they are dangerous as hell
    .Chimps are terrifyingly strong and vicious
    .You would most likely kill a platypus, but considering that you'd be fighting in the water, if you get hit with their spur, you will be in excruciating pain for a minimum of a few days or a maximum of a few months
    .Boars are very, very dangerous and would most likely kill you or severely injure you

    • @drubble1410
      @drubble1410 7 месяцев назад +1

      depends on the eagle - golden eagles have been known to attack and even kill young/small deer, but adult deers are off of the table.

  • @Teaganisthereasonweexistxo
    @Teaganisthereasonweexistxo 8 месяцев назад +3

    Yo.. i think the octopus is you're twin Joe.. no way!!

  • @yiiyo
    @yiiyo 9 месяцев назад +4

    0 views in 3 years bro fell off hard

  • @user4hq
    @user4hq 9 месяцев назад +1

    "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth." - Mike Tyson

  • @christopherjohnson1414
    @christopherjohnson1414 7 месяцев назад

    i havent laughed like this in a while . thank you . too many moments to even mention one . quite an imagination .

  • @andreasjohansson5556
    @andreasjohansson5556 7 месяцев назад +2

    Orangutans' strength is estimated to be five to seven times that of a human. They can lift up to 225 kilograms (500 pounds), more than twice their body weight. Their grip strength of approximately 270 kilograms (600 pounds) allows them to navigate the high canopies with ease.
    And u place it on 20% but chimps on 0% :P

  • @AngryBiscuit09
    @AngryBiscuit09 8 месяцев назад +1

    He's not killing a buck too agile, he's dead completely 😂

    • @krys7643
      @krys7643 5 месяцев назад

      Not really, with bucks you got to be careful with there antlers

    • @AngryBiscuit09
      @AngryBiscuit09 5 месяцев назад

      @@krys7643 he's not even catching it lmao

  • @TheProphetShia
    @TheProphetShia 9 месяцев назад

    I’m actually crying from laughter 😭😭😂

  • @michealsanders743
    @michealsanders743 5 месяцев назад

    I can't believe I watched this whole video but it was freaking hilarious a lil bit delusional but mostly more realistic any man would think lmao

  • @jacksonlee21
    @jacksonlee21 6 месяцев назад

    ngl joe i thought you were 5’2 till you said you were 6’1 🤝 love this concept i imagine myself in fights with wild animals all the time

  • @Elnidax
    @Elnidax 9 месяцев назад +1

    The scary thing about giraffes isn’t their necks, they trample lions. Joe would get trampled in seconds lol

  • @tobiaspause1775
    @tobiaspause1775 6 месяцев назад

    Pretty good and kind of realistic take. I like it. Just the Boar got underestimated. Theese things can be big and pretty tough/strong.

  • @averylaughlin9305
    @averylaughlin9305 5 месяцев назад +1

    33:39 😂😂😂Australia went to war with these bastards in 1932 AND LOST and you think you can win a fist fight with this war harden bird
    His comedy is getting better

  • @NithinJune
    @NithinJune 4 месяца назад +1

    ostriches run 40mph 😭😭

  • @NotNotToasty
    @NotNotToasty 9 месяцев назад

    Imagine not having the last 43 Joe Bart vids watched in a row

  • @UphillBridge
    @UphillBridge 4 месяца назад

    Not the chat saying stage hazard off on the crab 💀💀😭

  • @just_elmo3337
    @just_elmo3337 7 месяцев назад

    the squid part was so funny on god i was watching it eating and immediately jumped up and started choking😭