from icedhibiscus (posting on their behalf cause youtube is being weird about pinning comment) "thank you syrmor for hearing me out about my PTSD journey! i don't use youtube as a creator but i figured i'd share a few things in the comments. if you're reading this, it WILL get better, even if you're really sturggling right now. you will have better days. keep holding on for those days. life is a series of ups and down. i promise to you that in the end, the positives will outweigh the negatives. ❤️"
To give a quick explanation: The way EMDR and a lot of other PTSD/Trauma therapies work is that they give your eyes and brain a simple and neutral or unrelated but constantly shifting target/stimulus to focus on while the therapist walks you through whatever event is at the root of the PTSD and all the related subjects. The point is to break the association between the past event and your present life, which is the cause of a lot of PTSD Symptoms.
Its also ment to at the very least attach the ptsd to the new stimuli, which is often why people get more irritated as time goes on with it. But EMDR is so incredibly odd that you'd basically never have something like that happen outside of the actual session, leaving the trigger isolated.
As someone who has gone through countless surgeries this is so accurate! From newborn until now I’ve had my fair share of surgeries (as well as internal bleeding) and I wish this person all the best. It’s scary! I recently thought I would die without holding my daughter (bad birth, emergency surgery) and it’s the worst feeling!
"they didn't own up to it" yeah because then they could get sued for malpractice lol. which honestly, she should have done bc I assume her parents paid for those 2 visits after her surgery...bad hospitals man 😔😓
I went to the ER to get a piece of chicken dislodged from my esophagus last year. It was low enough I could breathe bur I couldn't swallow ANYTHING, not even my own spit. The nurses did everything and the only thing the doctor did was tell me I have GERD and prescribed me some pills. I paid the hospital bill which was $100, so not too much. However, I somehow owe that doctor $2000... when he did basically nothing. I despise these people, all they want is money.
@@Austin_B97 yeah this is why americans should really advocate for the public healthcare. because the system US has now has people pay surreal prices for incredibly low quality of medical care for a developed nation. like its ridiculous how bad medical care US has. I know some americans complain about increased taxes, but there is also the fact that americans on average pay even more taxes than europeans do, but get even less in return because there is no public healthcare or free education. higher education even puts people directly into debt slavery from graduation without really teaching people anything. and sure some may claim america has the best universities, but those people who go to US to study there are not going to stay there. they know how abysmally miserable everything is so once they graduate they hop into a plane and fly back home and get a job that pays a lot better than they would have in US.
@@KossolaxtheForesworn Medical system is kinda shit in Canada, too. We don't have to pay as much, at least not directly, but service leaves something to be desired. I'd say it's a North American medical system thing in general.
My childhood friend suddenly passed away during operation on his tonsils. It was a really huge shock and I miss him every day. I’ve also had multiple surgeries along with medical malpractice and I try my best not to go under general anesthesia anymore because I’ve had terrible experiences associated with surgeries in general.
Always cool to see someone else who went through EMDR and also have the "I hate my therapist, this sucks, it's not making me better... oh wait, it is because I'm not constantly on edge and hypervigilant anymore" reaction.
Dude, the parents thing, is so real. Even as an adult it can hit you real hard. I was diagnosed with Guillain-Barre and the doctor told my dad there was a real possibility that I would not be able to walk again. My dad broke down out of the doctor's office, and seeing that man, that titan who had been there for me always, broken and crying uncontrollably, unable to speak or even stand up, had to be one of the worst things I've ever seen.
Its hard. As kids, Our parents are these ppl who seem so omniscient and to have everything under their control and the solution to every problem. That day that comes where a parent truly can't help their child, when your dad would surely give his legs for you to have yours; that day defies everything before it and brings us to a profound disparity. Hope your father doesn't carry guilt for that. Hope you didn't lose your ability to walk.
When I was 3 my grandmother had a mental breakdown while she was babysitting me. We didn’t know it at the time but she was bipolar and she had a manic episode. I had been crying because I missed my parents (they were on vacation). I guess that set her off, because she locked me in a bathroom. No matter how hard I cried, no matter how hard I banged on the door, she wouldn’t let me out. I’ve struggled with PTSD ever since then, and I turn 30 next week. It seems minor to people, but it changed something in my brain. It’s way better now that I’m on medication and have gone to therapy. School was hell, because I was trapped and felt locked in. Car rides were hell, because I was locked in. I couldn’t even sleep at friends houses until high school because I felt trapped. When I was 20 and drinking at a party, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in the bathroom. I completely lost it, just like the person said they lost it on Christmas Eve. It all came back to me in a moment and I started screaming and trying to break down the door. Total buzz kill for the rest of the party lol. Ptsd is very real and it’s not weak to ask for help. Even if other people say it’s not a big deal or you think it’s too small of a problem, it’s not. The change in your brain is physical and it’s not a mind over matter situation. But recovery is possible! EMDR has helped a lot, and it could work for you, too. You just have to be willing to get help, which is the hardest step. ❤️
@@bosmer3836 and like I said, “It seems minor to people” but it was extremely traumatic. I guarantee that if anyone else was forcefully locked in a bathroom, by a woman they barely knew (my grandma lived hours away and I only met her a few times), who was noticeably out of her mind, and forced to stay there until they, a 3 year old with ZERO emotional control, stopped crying, they’d have pretty severe claustrophobia too.
@@icedhibiscus thank you! I’m sorry that you know what it’s like. I am doing much better than I was! Being an adult and being able to leave uncomfortable situations when I need to has helped immensely. I still struggle with the anxiety of not being physically trapped but “trapped” socially. For example, I know a lot of times when I’m feeling anxious I COULD just get up and leave- say, in the middle of someone giving a presentation- but it would be rude and socially unacceptable to do so. Even if I’m not anxious to begin with, sometimes being in those situations MAKES me anxious. Or being “trapped” by expectations of others. Like the latest one was a doctor who was basically trying to scam me out of money and I felt anxious for days because I felt “trapped.” But eventually ended things and felt incredible relief. I am constantly learning new ways to control the anxiety, and learning to advocate for myself and give myself grace. It’ll probably be a lifelong journey, but as long as I keep moving forward, it’ll continue to get better. Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate it!
The first heart surgery I had they accidently put 4 holes in my aortic valve. It was a simple oblation. Since then I've had another oblation and 3 open heart surgeries. All 3 open heart surgeries where for my damaged aortic valve. What fucked my head up bad though is the adenosine they had to give me multiple times every time I had a tacachardic event. Still phobic of needles. Still have night terrors,screaming at the nurses to get the fuck off of me. Edit: the adenosine stuff was when I was a child so that's why it left such an impact,just for clarity.
Love that EMDR explanation! Also went through EMDR therapy, my therapist described it as "unsticking" traumatic memories from someone's brain and allowing them to process. It absolutely sucks during the session, but it's a miracle with how well it works.
God man. Never knew when this topic gonna pop up. Wow. I remember having my tonsil removed as well as a kid. I forgot the name of the thing with the mask. But mine had a fruity smell and suddenly, I gasped, and backed out. I remember waking up in the hospital room next to my mom. Doing alright for a little bit, until like he said, I vomit up the dead blood that was sitting at the bottom pit of my stomach. I was so out of it that it didn't freak me out of vomiting up blood. But it was good that it's out of my stomach. So relieved with the ice cream afterwards. And this was in 3rd grade. Like 9 years old or something like that. Jesus. Still think about it once in a blue moon. This video is killer! I dig. :D
I don't have PTSD, but do have health anxiety, and man. Yeah. Feeling like you're dying over random normal things more than sucks, but putting on top of that the realization of how irrational it is? Watching people around you experience those things without freaking out? It really makes you feel insane. It's bizarre to literally, physically feel like you're dying and not be sure if you can seek help or even sympathy. Bizarre to realize how strange some of the behaviors you develop (hypervigilance) really are. It can be so humiliating. Thanks for talking about this and sharing your story
Just wanna say the interviewee is wholesome. So kudos and love to Coyote for speaking out, and talking about what could be seen as "haha, funny", when a lot of people need to seek help. Also, love the fact about crows and ravens, makes me wanna pet them even more *-*
omg thank you, i'm glad you think so. the interview was surprisingly fun and enjoyable despite the subject matter! birds provide such comfort and comedic relief, lol
@@icedhibiscus They ARE lovable creatures, and sorry for putting it out that way, but you have this "That person is instantly lovable" vibe to you. It feels weird saying it like this. You sound like a good person deep down, and it's inspiring. I am glad your therapy helped you find a livable life again, and I wish you the very best in the future. I'll post you an update once I get a flock of ravens living on my balcony. :3
EMDR is amazing stuff. Helped me a ton with my own mental health. I didn’t use a box or headphones or anything. My therapist just had a couple little things that vibrated back and forth and you hold them. It was exhausting and such a wild experience but it helped drastically.
ive actually done emdr before and my therapist told me the reason why it helps is because it connects the logical side of your brain to the other half so its easier to be rational towards your situation instead of triggered (:
Dude, food poisoning is definitely hard to remain calm through. When I had it, even after I had vomited every bit of everything out, I was still gagging and retching so often and so forcefully that I was struggling to take breaths. I would literally take massive gasps of air before going back into heaving. I NEVER want to do that again.
Ugh yeah. I don’t know if I had food poisoning or what, but I had a sickness one time where my stomach hurt and I’d throw up multiple times. I couldn’t even hold down water, let alone eat stuff such as crackers. I literally had to keep a bucket right next to me at all times throughout the week. It was an awful experience and I hope I never have to go through that ever again. Then there was another instance where my brothers and my mom got food poisoning. We ate at Sonic Drive In and I think that’s what caused it. My brother ran straight to the bathroom while vomiting when we were gonna go to a football game. He ended up staying home. I saw him run right past my room and I just saw stuff spew out of his mouth. Was even scarier because my mom got sick and she never gets sick. It was awful to see them go through that. It was a long time ago but man, I still have those memories.
I had food poisoning once as a child and I couldn't eat some of the foods I had eaten the day I got it (whether that particular food may have caused it or not) for years after, so it's not surprising at all that an experience like the girl in the video had could cause PTSD.
As someone with C-PTSD due to medical trauma, it’s so crazy to see someone else have an experience similar to mine. There’s a lot of PTSD talk about deadly diagnoses but nothing really about “I had a fucked up thing happen that wasn’t necessarily deadly but sucked”. I had a lot of health issues growing up with lots of back surgeries, and even though they were never deadly, it still affected me in a way I didn’t expect. I have similar experiences above, but I’m also triggered by other things like pain! Which has its own weird challenges that I’ve been afraid of being judged for. I can also completely relate to the confusion of being set off by certain things and the diagnosis. I’m textbook PTSD according to my therapist, but I wouldn’t have known it! I had a lot of gaslighting growing up due to having other sickly siblings, so I just figured it was my fault if I couldn’t get it together when I had to get blood work done or got a cold. Funny how the connection can be so obvious yet we usually need help to see it. I was diagnosed a little over 2 years ago and I still have a lot to learn, but I’m much better than I was! Maybe I’ll ask my therapist about this therapy too, I’d never heard of it. Either way thank you for sharing your story!! It was weirdly comforting to know I’m not the only one who would panic at the thought of even being a little nauseous ^_^
Ended up watching this after trying to watch the the story from 2 years or so ago about the guy with ALS. The mushroom guy. Like the 3rd time I've tried to watch that one and I can't get to far into it knowing he's gone. It makes me cry. But I'm glad to see you have a new video up and I'm watching it now. I love your videos bro. You do so much for ppl and I wonder if you even know it
I've been sick with what looks like coffee grounds but was exactly what you said, blood. My ulcers led to internal bleeding that could have ended my life. Scary stuff
It’s so heartbreaking to see them call their struggles ridiculous 💔, because I know they probably do it because it sounds silly to people, but you know you don’t have to prove to anyone how hard it was, ptsd can make small things challenging. Don’t be ashamed of dealing with a mental health problem!
This hit me so hard. Ive had to fight so, so hard for any recognition of my PTSD. I had to fight hard against myself to accept that I have PTSD! I have a life threatening allergy to dogs and cats and rabbits that lead to multiple near death experiences as a small child - and also an undiagnosed (despite seeing specialists for 7 years, its an ongoing process) disability that means all food and drink, even water, makes me nauseous. I used to be scared of vomiting until i realised that vomiting made the nausea STOP... now i do it a little too frequently. My PTSD focusses on hospitals and injection needles. Even typing that is hard. But i know what its like to have PTSD for something that just seems so, so stupid... and so necessary to life. I cant do so much in fear, and my constant nausea gets mixed in there too.
Thanks for the nausea comment.. it seems common sense to many people. But for someone with severe anxiety over vomiting, it’s good to know that the feeling would stop after it’s out... but the feeling still throws me into panic and a manic episode of crying, like OP’s story here.
I'm very firmiliar with EMDR if you want someone to explain what it is and how it works I'd be happy too. The light box doesn't matter, the theraputic effect is produced by moving your eyes left and right while also reliving your traumatic memories. You have to recall memories from your long term memory to short term memory, then move your eyes left and right for it to work.
Same. I don't remember the smell of my anesthesia for leg surgery; de-dressed, gown on, was on the table, surrounded by doctors, waking up in a new hospital room with family in new clothes, wait- what? And apparently 4 hours had passed. no sleepy fade out or wakeful fade in, no dreams, just pretty instantaneously. what I imagine being black out drunk, like maybe you felt everything and then the memory was deleted - it might not make the pain disappear or those feelings/nerves turned off - just the memory is gone, your past self might've felt everything on the table, but you'll never know. Maybe that's how locked in syndrome during surgery works. Ill still think about that some days. :3
Emdr can be practiced in many ways, including tapping and the therapist waves two fingers side by side vertically. More also include a light box that’s a blank white box with leds that would dim and brighten. Please also refer to grimmundusRex for how it works
I was 9 I think when I had my tonsils removed since I had asthma and probably sleep apnea, and I just remember drinking cherry flavor liquid and then sucking on an orange popsicles.
Phobias are a tough thing to handle, thanks for sharing, and much strength to you, you are not alone. I have my share, same thing with going to the hospital and illness (I got a really rare one on top), as well as therapy (which is not working that much for me so far, I haven't try EMDR yet tho).
I actually had a similar experience! I had my tonsils out around the same age and a couple weeks afterward I was back at school but feeling really bad. I was in and out of the nurses office all day telling her I wasn't feeling well, but I didn't have anything going on besides that. Later that day in music class my mouth kept filling up with blood and I kept trying to discretely spit it out (I really liked music class and didn't want to have to miss it), but another kid noticed and told the teacher and I was sent to the nurse's office. My mom picked me up and first she just took me home, but I kept getting worse so she took me to the hospital and I threw up in the car on the way there. It wasn't black, but it was an awful red and brown because I'd eaten a chocolate popsicle to try and soothe my throat. At the hospital they told me that the incisions where they'd removed my tonsils had opened up and that's why I was bleeding, and when I was a teenager I was diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder after the worst menstrual experience of my life that also likely contributed to why my incisions had opened up. Thankfully I haven't had to have too many surgeries or had any serious injuries, but the possibility of excessive bleeding during the healing process is always on my mind now.
[TW: excessive bleeding] The PTSD aspect of excessive blood loss as a child is very real. When I was 6 and in Nursery, I was attacked by another kid with a shovel. He split my head open and I bled like crazy. We're talking down my face, into my eyes and my hands were just covered in it. All I could do was scream. A similar event occurred a few years later. My single mother then got me a second key cut, so I could go straight home from school, instead of the nursery (she was at work all day and night). I developed panic attacks and PTSD from then on, which have only become worse over the years. Now at 27, I'm a nervous wreck and my health anxiety is just destroying my life, my finances, and all of my relationships. Tip for parents: Do your best to keep your kids safe from all forms of harm. This kind of stuff *will* scar anyone, and it will do lasting damage even if it doesn't appear so at first.
that's so scary and i can't begin to understand how frightened you were as a kiddo. you don't deserve what happened and i'm sure it's been rough. i'm really sorry you struggle to this day. i hope that you can cope soon & find some closure for what you went through.
Doctors have told me that removing my tonsils would be too risky because the scar tissue from all my recurring infections is too widespread. But ulcers have eaten away so much that there is hardly any functional tonsil tissue left anyway.
They have a very nice speaking voice. It was an intense story but I'm glad it could be shared on this channel. I like that I get exposed to so many different kinds of life stories here. It's always so eye opening.
Damn. and I thought my experience after my tonsillectomy was bad. I had an unknown allergic reaction where my body broke out in hives, had a heart rate of an infant (I was 13) at the time, extremely dehydrated. I was in the hospital for a few days in a room with another kid who.. i dunno what he had I just remembered he like had a tube in his stomach and I guess if he moved a lil the tube in his stomach would cause him great pain which caused him to scream. I did get out after a few days. Went to take an allergy test to see what could of caused it and they tried all the drugs used that day among other things, they never were able to figure out what caused it. /shrug
well what i remember from going under anestesia is bubble gum flavored and i kept the mask cause it looked exactly like the spongebob front door and i asked if i could have it cause i loved spongebob i was five they were going to throw it away anyways i think
Wow, this is weirdly helpful for me, I'm trying to get a proper autism diagnosis for paperwork reasons (need fiscal and job support) and this is oddly encouraging
I remember getting the ol' tonsils removed. We had like a "mandatory" recorder class (Im sure it was just music theory intro), but I remember actually HATING recorder that year. Also, I love their avatar! I couldnt find a good corvid to save my life on vrc.
They do make it smell good! I have a vivid memory from my tonsillectomy when I was 12. They put a good smelling pear balm on the mask before I fell asleep.
My brother also had his tonsils removed as a really young kid, and his didn’t heal right either. The little guy woke up in the middle of the night, just like you, and was throwing up buckets of blood. It was honestly so scary, and the mess was so bad that my mom had to tear out the carpet in the bathroom. I hope you’re doing much better now ❤️
That sounds like a miserable time for your brother I hope he’s doing better. As someone who has the flu several time throughout his life I can relate to throwing up buckets of vomit.
Jeez dude, it is so bewilderingly upsetting and frustrating how awful all these fucking hospitals do this horrible shit, and then will never take responsibility for their own failures; medical industry is corrupt to the core dude.
As someone who hasn't vomited in 7 years, I've grown terrified for it, and every time I do start heave, I'm like shaking from fear and everything. The last 2 years I've been sick quite a few times, and I've stopped lying to myself, finally started to tell myself that I'm going to have to throw up at some point....
ugh dude throwing up fucking blows. such a violent action that takes so long. hurts when you have just water in your stomach and have to throw it out. if the tip helps try not to pinch your throat or cough.
@@garzarey86 the buildup is worst for me, you know it *might* be coming, there's nothing you can do to stop it, and it's this "invisible" thing you can't see coming.
@@loyalorange503 untill you spew it out 🤣 dammit vomiting sucks. Over the years I've kind of gotten used to it and I kinda know how to force it out now? It's weird bc the feeling in ur gut never changed but once you learn those throat movements(pause) puking becomes just a 30 second activity. I reeaaaalllyyyy hope you get used to it bc it sucks when your not ready for a spicy puke
my best friend had a similar thing happen to him, he woke up the night after surgery because he almost drowned in his own blood. hes fine now, but for a pretty long time he couldnt even stand to see a paper cut on me
Feeling nauseous is the most panic attack inducing thing I’ve ever felt.... I know the terror... constant fear and yes feeling like you are dying is a real thing with anxiety attacks. The tingling in the body.. the salty taste in the saliva and over salvation causes me immediate panic and crying and heart issue thanks to that. I have had horrible anxiety attacks over nothing sometimes too and felt like I was dying. Screaming to the point of fainting. I’d love to get better too.
I have a buddy who was an alcoholic (like 12 pack of Heineken a day *minimum* level) who almost died that way. He developed varicose veins in his esophagus and they started rupturing. Luckily he survived, and took it as the sign to sober up. Idk if he plays VRChat, or if I can at least find a way to get him in VRChat, but he might be a good guest actually.
For some reason, I relate. I have no idea why vomiting scares me so much, regardless if it's me or someone else (last time I threw up for 2 or even 3 times from food poisoning, it was like more than 7 years ago, I remember being terrified about it), it's just so weird and gross. The only reason I see is that when it was happening to other people or me, it was always at night, when everyone is sleeping. It's like people wake up, walk, and throw up. Felt so wrong, it grew into a phobia. Not PTSD, of course, but it still got me somewhere here.
God same. I threw up once last year and the whole time it was fucking TERRIFYING for some reason even if i felt great just after. I think my 'inciting incident' was the one time as a kid i vomited so hard bits of spaghetti came out my nose. Eugh. Awful thing.
you do need a blood transfusion for a nosebleed if one is particulary bad. my borther bled from his nose every other night when he was younger, now he does once a month so its a little better I guess. once he bled for solid 20 minutes at 3am. he stopped maybe 2 minutes before the ambulace arrived and they thought I beat him up because that is surreal that once cal just start bleeding so much from nothing.
I didn't have my tonsils removed but they recently let me know I've always delt with stomach bleeding and they found pre cancerous damages which means they had to take biopsies but I haven't heard back from the results yet. I don't think I have the C word but they told me my stomach and esophagus were damaged and I understand that fear to puke. It hurts so bad. I threw up and still throw up most mornings. I stay like 140 pounds and have been since I got very ill and threw up for days in a row. I used to be like 155 to 160 but since that last bad sickness I've been stuck at 140
My sister died during her tonsillectomy when she was 3 almost 4. it devastated our entire family and whenever someone has to get there tonsils removed in our family freaks out.
hey im doing emdr! it stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. i haven't done the box yet, but ive done some other associated exercises. it's helped so much. i have very very severe anxiety. pretty much every day i get some sort of anxiety-related episode or a panic attack. but after just one session, i was able to go a week feeling pretty normal. for the first time in forever i had a day where i didn't think about my anxiety. it was so freeing.
Still better than my surgery to remove the throat amygdalas, a 7 yo in the hospital, after surgery everytime i swallowed my saliva it felt like swallowing razorblades, i spent days like this, i only ate ice creams because the cold helped ignore the pain. To be fair i did have to wait 2 years to get the surgery because doctors insisted i only needed antibiotics so my amygdalas were in terrible shape, instead of having 2 extra small holes in my throat, i have 3 normal ones and when food goes down the left or right side it hurts a bit to this day, when it gets stuck i have to let water go down sideways of my throat until im about to cough it up and swallow to clear it up. And all mostly because doctors insisted for me to take antibiotics for almost 2 years instead of getting a surgery, not just one but multiple doctors, while it slowed down the infection greatly, i don't think i would have survived another year without surgery, before surgery it already felt painful to swallow my saliva which is why i wasn't given painkillers after it, it was worse but about a 8 out of 10 instead of 7
It was only fairly recently I realized I had really bad emetophobia as a kid. Reading the graphic novel "Guts" by Raina Telgemeier made this epiphany happen. I got a stomach flu at 6 and was loosing weight so rapidly I had to be hospitalized. I was already a really skinny kid, and not being able to hold down any food or water for 2 days put me into a state of ketosis. After that I was terrified to vomit again, fearing that might happen again. I use to lay in bed at night panicking that I was going to throw up. Around age 8, I did throw up again the night my parents had taken me to build-a-bear. The next day I was absolutely terrified of the puppy plush I had got. My mom tried bringing over the plush, trying to show me it wouldn't harm me, but I felt so much fear and aversion I nearly had a full on panic attack, backing up into the corner of my bed. The brain can be weird like that, certain sensations like, smell, taste, and touch can become associated with horrible experiences and having them present can pull you right back into that mental state. I'm not nearly as bad with vomit anymore. Over the years, I didn't throw up again, and had slowly, unknowingly worked through the trauma. A major breakthrough happened when I finally did throw up again around age 13. I woke up, knew what was about to happen, grabbed my garbage pail, tied back my hair, and just let it happen. When I finished, I just remember laying on the floor and thinking "That wasn't so bad" I finally realized I wasn't going to die, vomiting could be unpleasant, but it wouldn't kill me.
Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing. After a couple years of regular talk therapy getting me no where I went to a trauma therapist. Eventually we did emdr therapy. It can help with any trauma physical or mental or whatever. My therapist told me a lot about it and some of the past cases she dealt with, I remember her telling of how it took anywhere from a month to four to even six months. It took me nine months of weekly emdr sessions to finally get to where I am now. I still need some work but I probably will need fixing for the rest of my life. I actually feel like a human being. There’s a lot more to tell but I could write a book so I’ll just say finding a therapist I could actually trust helped so much and emdr saved me.
oh gods the exact same shit happened to me when I got my tonsils out as a kid-but within hours versus days, it was pretty gruesome. I remember how absolutely surreal it felt to see that come out of your body. Threw up like three buckets of black and red before they rushed my ass back into the operating room to cauterize it. Still have a fucked up scar/pit in my throat which bothers me.
Lol I had a very similar situation although my fear of vomiting was created by a seizure I had one day as kid playing crash bandicoot for like 6 hours straight I have very little memory of that day other than playing the game being stuck and violently throwing up at some point later and almost choking on said vomit Funny enough I had the fear until like 3 or 4 years ago when I got so drunk I finally threw up for the first time since i was 7 and that helped me conquer that fear accidentally I also haven't gotten that drunk since and seeing people throw up no longer scares me
My girlfriend has emetophobia. Thank you for bringing light to this. It is really a true example of a mental issue being as crippling as a physical one. There have been times where I have come to try and meet her and she’s had to turn me back, not because she doesn’t like me, but because she wants literally no one around when she’s nauseous like that. It hurts to watch it consume her.
I have had nosebleeds so bad that pools of blood dripped down the back of my throat which I then vomited up black chunks. But, post-tonsillectomy bleeding is clearly the cause for spontaneous bloody vomit 2 days after surgery.
i have a friend that has Emetophobia and I try to be as accommodating to her as I can be and I remember a time I sent her a video with a possible sound trigger & not realizing until minutes later like it just clicked in my head so I quickly texted her like WAIT PLEASE DON’T WATCH THAT I’M SO SORRY and luckily I caught her in time so she didn’t watch it
Birds aren't real. That wasn't laughter, that was your government agent trying to fix their equipment. Doves have a technical issue still being worked on.
wow that's crazy. i also had a severe injury when i was 5. it was actually on my birthday. i didn't almost die though, but they didn't know at the time that it wasn't serious because it was a head injury.
im not saying this to knock the story an saying you had a nose bleed. I believe they messed up. ..........This story made me remember something as a kid. One day it was hot and we did not have power or the ac unit went out. well i was laying down an picked my nose. and apparently scratched my self pretty bad and woke up throwing up black blood, I felt so bad and did not know what to do. we where very poor and so I did not go to the hospital. I ended vomiting more blood later that day. lucky me it stopped.
from icedhibiscus (posting on their behalf cause youtube is being weird about pinning comment)
"thank you syrmor for hearing me out about my PTSD journey! i don't use youtube as a creator but i figured i'd share a few things in the comments. if you're reading this, it WILL get better, even if you're really sturggling right now. you will have better days. keep holding on for those days. life is a series of ups and down. i promise to you that in the end, the positives will outweigh the negatives. ❤️"
To give a quick explanation: The way EMDR and a lot of other PTSD/Trauma therapies work is that they give your eyes and brain a simple and neutral or unrelated but constantly shifting target/stimulus to focus on while the therapist walks you through whatever event is at the root of the PTSD and all the related subjects. The point is to break the association between the past event and your present life, which is the cause of a lot of PTSD Symptoms.
Its also ment to at the very least attach the ptsd to the new stimuli, which is often why people get more irritated as time goes on with it. But EMDR is so incredibly odd that you'd basically never have something like that happen outside of the actual session, leaving the trigger isolated.
Thank you king
its pretty cool, someone close to me got over ptsd in large part due to that
I noticed that EMDR made me 'stay' in the moment. It was why and how it worked for me, though my therapy was terminated long before I was done. :/
So it essentially isolates ptsd during the session ?
Very very cool
That dove laughing is sick
@@JohnSmith-mc2zz 😰 nooooo
As in awesome, or the bird is unwell?
@@Tkon321 when I search it up it says it could just mean hello or it could be courting
@@30seconds57 yep! he’s courting, he’s a very flirty boy.
As someone who has gone through countless surgeries this is so accurate! From newborn until now I’ve had my fair share of surgeries (as well as internal bleeding) and I wish this person all the best. It’s scary!
I recently thought I would die without holding my daughter (bad birth, emergency surgery) and it’s the worst feeling!
"they didn't own up to it" yeah because then they could get sued for malpractice lol.
which honestly, she should have done bc I assume her parents paid for those 2 visits after her surgery...bad hospitals man 😔😓
Doctor: [Hands *parents* a pill]
I went to the ER to get a piece of chicken dislodged from my esophagus last year. It was low enough I could breathe bur I couldn't swallow ANYTHING, not even my own spit. The nurses did everything and the only thing the doctor did was tell me I have GERD and prescribed me some pills. I paid the hospital bill which was $100, so not too much. However, I somehow owe that doctor $2000... when he did basically nothing. I despise these people, all they want is money.
Doctor gave the parents a Forget Me Now
@@Austin_B97 yeah this is why americans should really advocate for the public healthcare. because the system US has now has people pay surreal prices for incredibly low quality of medical care for a developed nation. like its ridiculous how bad medical care US has.
I know some americans complain about increased taxes, but there is also the fact that americans on average pay even more taxes than europeans do, but get even less in return because there is no public healthcare or free education. higher education even puts people directly into debt slavery from graduation without really teaching people anything.
and sure some may claim america has the best universities, but those people who go to US to study there are not going to stay there. they know how abysmally miserable everything is so once they graduate they hop into a plane and fly back home and get a job that pays a lot better than they would have in US.
@@KossolaxtheForesworn Medical system is kinda shit in Canada, too. We don't have to pay as much, at least not directly, but service leaves something to be desired. I'd say it's a North American medical system thing in general.
My childhood friend suddenly passed away during operation on his tonsils. It was a really huge shock and I miss him every day. I’ve also had multiple surgeries along with medical malpractice and I try my best not to go under general anesthesia anymore because I’ve had terrible experiences associated with surgeries in general.
Always cool to see someone else who went through EMDR and also have the "I hate my therapist, this sucks, it's not making me better... oh wait, it is because I'm not constantly on edge and hypervigilant anymore" reaction.
Dude, the parents thing, is so real. Even as an adult it can hit you real hard. I was diagnosed with Guillain-Barre and the doctor told my dad there was a real possibility that I would not be able to walk again. My dad broke down out of the doctor's office, and seeing that man, that titan who had been there for me always, broken and crying uncontrollably, unable to speak or even stand up, had to be one of the worst things I've ever seen.
Its hard. As kids, Our parents are these ppl who seem so omniscient and to have everything under their control and the solution to every problem. That day that comes where a parent truly can't help their child, when your dad would surely give his legs for you to have yours; that day defies everything before it and brings us to a profound disparity. Hope your father doesn't carry guilt for that. Hope you didn't lose your ability to walk.
@@BEERBOMB113 thank you for your kind words. Thankfully I did a full recovery and now all that remains are the bad memories.
I love how the persin being interviewed has a better mic than syrmor 😂
i'm using a valve index headset, and i have to say they have fantastic mics!
@@icedhibiscus I'll check em out when my PS4 mic finally gives out lol
I love doves. I used to take care of one. He loved my attention and would dance around when I would talk to him. fun guy
When I was 3 my grandmother had a mental breakdown while she was babysitting me. We didn’t know it at the time but she was bipolar and she had a manic episode. I had been crying because I missed my parents (they were on vacation). I guess that set her off, because she locked me in a bathroom. No matter how hard I cried, no matter how hard I banged on the door, she wouldn’t let me out. I’ve struggled with PTSD ever since then, and I turn 30 next week. It seems minor to people, but it changed something in my brain. It’s way better now that I’m on medication and have gone to therapy. School was hell, because I was trapped and felt locked in. Car rides were hell, because I was locked in. I couldn’t even sleep at friends houses until high school because I felt trapped. When I was 20 and drinking at a party, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in the bathroom. I completely lost it, just like the person said they lost it on Christmas Eve. It all came back to me in a moment and I started screaming and trying to break down the door. Total buzz kill for the rest of the party lol.
Ptsd is very real and it’s not weak to ask for help. Even if other people say it’s not a big deal or you think it’s too small of a problem, it’s not. The change in your brain is physical and it’s not a mind over matter situation. But recovery is possible! EMDR has helped a lot, and it could work for you, too. You just have to be willing to get help, which is the hardest step. ❤️
damn I got locked inside a closet too and I'm fine
this got me choked up, i relate so much to the sudden breakdown and unrepression of memories.. i hope you're doing better these days.
Oh dear I'm so sorry, can I hug you now in my thoughts? :)
@@bosmer3836 and like I said, “It seems minor to people” but it was extremely traumatic. I guarantee that if anyone else was forcefully locked in a bathroom, by a woman they barely knew (my grandma lived hours away and I only met her a few times), who was noticeably out of her mind, and forced to stay there until they, a 3 year old with ZERO emotional control, stopped crying, they’d have pretty severe claustrophobia too.
@@icedhibiscus thank you! I’m sorry that you know what it’s like. I am doing much better than I was! Being an adult and being able to leave uncomfortable situations when I need to has helped immensely. I still struggle with the anxiety of not being physically trapped but “trapped” socially. For example, I know a lot of times when I’m feeling anxious I COULD just get up and leave- say, in the middle of someone giving a presentation- but it would be rude and socially unacceptable to do so. Even if I’m not anxious to begin with, sometimes being in those situations MAKES me anxious. Or being “trapped” by expectations of others. Like the latest one was a doctor who was basically trying to scam me out of money and I felt anxious for days because I felt “trapped.” But eventually ended things and felt incredible relief.
I am constantly learning new ways to control the anxiety, and learning to advocate for myself and give myself grace. It’ll probably be a lifelong journey, but as long as I keep moving forward, it’ll continue to get better. Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate it!
The first heart surgery I had they accidently put 4 holes in my aortic valve. It was a simple oblation. Since then I've had another oblation and 3 open heart surgeries. All 3 open heart surgeries where for my damaged aortic valve.
What fucked my head up bad though is the adenosine they had to give me multiple times every time I had a tacachardic event. Still phobic of needles. Still have night terrors,screaming at the nurses to get the fuck off of me.
Edit: the adenosine stuff was when I was a child so that's why it left such an impact,just for clarity.
i relate so much to them on the emetophibia thing. especially the part about getting nervous when you see other people vomit
Same here. i got it since i was 13 year old.
Love that EMDR explanation! Also went through EMDR therapy, my therapist described it as "unsticking" traumatic memories from someone's brain and allowing them to process. It absolutely sucks during the session, but it's a miracle with how well it works.
God man. Never knew when this topic gonna pop up. Wow. I remember having my tonsil removed as well as a kid. I forgot the name of the thing with the mask. But mine had a fruity smell and suddenly, I gasped, and backed out. I remember waking up in the hospital room next to my mom. Doing alright for a little bit, until like he said, I vomit up the dead blood that was sitting at the bottom pit of my stomach. I was so out of it that it didn't freak me out of vomiting up blood. But it was good that it's out of my stomach. So relieved with the ice cream afterwards. And this was in 3rd grade. Like 9 years old or something like that.
Jesus. Still think about it once in a blue moon. This video is killer! I dig. :D
I don't have PTSD, but do have health anxiety, and man. Yeah. Feeling like you're dying over random normal things more than sucks, but putting on top of that the realization of how irrational it is? Watching people around you experience those things without freaking out? It really makes you feel insane. It's bizarre to literally, physically feel like you're dying and not be sure if you can seek help or even sympathy. Bizarre to realize how strange some of the behaviors you develop (hypervigilance) really are. It can be so humiliating. Thanks for talking about this and sharing your story
I am now realizing that the fact that I don't remember anything special about my tonsils being removed is actually very good.
Just wanna say the interviewee is wholesome.
So kudos and love to Coyote for speaking out, and talking about what could be seen as "haha, funny", when a lot of people need to seek help.
Also, love the fact about crows and ravens, makes me wanna pet them even more *-*
omg thank you, i'm glad you think so. the interview was surprisingly fun and enjoyable despite the subject matter! birds provide such comfort and comedic relief, lol
@@icedhibiscus They ARE lovable creatures, and sorry for putting it out that way, but you have this "That person is instantly lovable" vibe to you.
It feels weird saying it like this. You sound like a good person deep down, and it's inspiring.
I am glad your therapy helped you find a livable life again, and I wish you the very best in the future.
I'll post you an update once I get a flock of ravens living on my balcony. :3
@@bertrandsalaun3721 that is so so so nice of you! i'll keep this compliment close. thank you so much. and hell yes, befriend the birdies!
It’s very cathartic to hear people talk about these experiences so normally. Makes me feel less weird doing it myself
EMDR is amazing stuff. Helped me a ton with my own mental health. I didn’t use a box or headphones or anything. My therapist just had a couple little things that vibrated back and forth and you hold them.
It was exhausting and such a wild experience but it helped drastically.
There's a company which sells those for general purpose use. Touchpoint solutions, it can work for general stress relief or anxiety relief
Terrific video with a interesting story. Loving the Bird avatar as well. Keep up the good work ;)
ive actually done emdr before and my therapist told me the reason why it helps is because it connects the logical side of your brain to the other half so its easier to be rational towards your situation instead of triggered (:
Wow actually notified of something as soon as it's released, the bell icon finally fucking worked!
Dude, food poisoning is definitely hard to remain calm through. When I had it, even after I had vomited every bit of everything out, I was still gagging and retching so often and so forcefully that I was struggling to take breaths. I would literally take massive gasps of air before going back into heaving. I NEVER want to do that again.
Ugh yeah. I don’t know if I had food poisoning or what, but I had a sickness one time where my stomach hurt and I’d throw up multiple times. I couldn’t even hold down water, let alone eat stuff such as crackers. I literally had to keep a bucket right next to me at all times throughout the week. It was an awful experience and I hope I never have to go through that ever again.
Then there was another instance where my brothers and my mom got food poisoning. We ate at Sonic Drive In and I think that’s what caused it. My brother ran straight to the bathroom while vomiting when we were gonna go to a football game. He ended up staying home. I saw him run right past my room and I just saw stuff spew out of his mouth. Was even scarier because my mom got sick and she never gets sick. It was awful to see them go through that. It was a long time ago but man, I still have those memories.
I had food poisoning once as a child and I couldn't eat some of the foods I had eaten the day I got it (whether that particular food may have caused it or not) for years after, so it's not surprising at all that an experience like the girl in the video had could cause PTSD.
As someone with C-PTSD due to medical trauma, it’s so crazy to see someone else have an experience similar to mine. There’s a lot of PTSD talk about deadly diagnoses but nothing really about “I had a fucked up thing happen that wasn’t necessarily deadly but sucked”.
I had a lot of health issues growing up with lots of back surgeries, and even though they were never deadly, it still affected me in a way I didn’t expect. I have similar experiences above, but I’m also triggered by other things like pain! Which has its own weird challenges that I’ve been afraid of being judged for.
I can also completely relate to the confusion of being set off by certain things and the diagnosis. I’m textbook PTSD according to my therapist, but I wouldn’t have known it! I had a lot of gaslighting growing up due to having other sickly siblings, so I just figured it was my fault if I couldn’t get it together when I had to get blood work done or got a cold. Funny how the connection can be so obvious yet we usually need help to see it.
I was diagnosed a little over 2 years ago and I still have a lot to learn, but I’m much better than I was! Maybe I’ll ask my therapist about this therapy too, I’d never heard of it.
Either way thank you for sharing your story!! It was weirdly comforting to know I’m not the only one who would panic at the thought of even being a little nauseous ^_^
Ended up watching this after trying to watch the the story from 2 years or so ago about the guy with ALS. The mushroom guy. Like the 3rd time I've tried to watch that one and I can't get to far into it knowing he's gone. It makes me cry. But I'm glad to see you have a new video up and I'm watching it now. I love your videos bro. You do so much for ppl and I wonder if you even know it
Very brave to be a bird fan when birds regurgitate (i.e: throw up) to feed their babies.
HAHA YEAH omg it doesn't upset me at all! it's natural for them!
@@icedhibiscus the avatar is cute af ngl
I've been sick with what looks like coffee grounds but was exactly what you said, blood. My ulcers led to internal bleeding that could have ended my life. Scary stuff
These videos are amazing,keep it up
It’s so heartbreaking to see them call their struggles ridiculous 💔, because I know they probably do it because it sounds silly to people, but you know you don’t have to prove to anyone how hard it was, ptsd can make small things challenging. Don’t be ashamed of dealing with a mental health problem!
World probably needs more people like you
they/them
Their pronouns are they/he
I didn’t know, thanks for letting me know. I changed it :)
@@sakura9959 all good! Sorry if it felt spammy as someone before me already said it
Glad you finally got a patreon, definitely gonna be contributing towards that!
This hit me so hard.
Ive had to fight so, so hard for any recognition of my PTSD. I had to fight hard against myself to accept that I have PTSD!
I have a life threatening allergy to dogs and cats and rabbits that lead to multiple near death experiences as a small child - and also an undiagnosed (despite seeing specialists for 7 years, its an ongoing process) disability that means all food and drink, even water, makes me nauseous.
I used to be scared of vomiting until i realised that vomiting made the nausea STOP... now i do it a little too frequently.
My PTSD focusses on hospitals and injection needles. Even typing that is hard.
But i know what its like to have PTSD for something that just seems so, so stupid... and so necessary to life. I cant do so much in fear, and my constant nausea gets mixed in there too.
There’s many people out there who struggle with a mental health issue, I’m here for you too and i wish you the best ❤️
Thanks for the nausea comment.. it seems common sense to many people. But for someone with severe anxiety over vomiting, it’s good to know that the feeling would stop after it’s out... but the feeling still throws me into panic and a manic episode of crying, like OP’s story here.
Watching this over again, I appreciate the Bugsnax music in the background. It adds to the depth of this video
I'm very firmiliar with EMDR if you want someone to explain what it is and how it works I'd be happy too. The light box doesn't matter, the theraputic effect is produced by moving your eyes left and right while also reliving your traumatic memories. You have to recall memories from your long term memory to short term memory, then move your eyes left and right for it to work.
They’re very well spoken, and I’m glad they’re doing better!
The man never misses. Thanks for the sick ass vid about the interesting bird person
Same. I don't remember the smell of my anesthesia for leg surgery; de-dressed, gown on, was on the table, surrounded by doctors, waking up in a new hospital room with family in new clothes, wait- what?
And apparently 4 hours had passed. no sleepy fade out or wakeful fade in, no dreams, just pretty instantaneously. what I imagine being black out drunk, like maybe you felt everything and then the memory was deleted - it might not make the pain disappear or those feelings/nerves turned off - just the memory is gone, your past self might've felt everything on the table, but you'll never know. Maybe that's how locked in syndrome during surgery works. Ill still think about that some days. :3
I love the dove laughter sm
Emdr can be practiced in many ways, including tapping and the therapist waves two fingers side by side vertically. More also include a light box that’s a blank white box with leds that would dim and brighten. Please also refer to grimmundusRex for how it works
I was 9 I think when I had my tonsils removed since I had asthma and probably sleep apnea, and I just remember drinking cherry flavor liquid and then sucking on an orange popsicles.
Phobias are a tough thing to handle, thanks for sharing, and much strength to you, you are not alone. I have my share, same thing with going to the hospital and illness (I got a really rare one on top), as well as therapy (which is not working that much for me so far, I haven't try EMDR yet tho).
This is unusual. 2 uploads in a week. Hell yea my boy
I actually had a similar experience! I had my tonsils out around the same age and a couple weeks afterward I was back at school but feeling really bad. I was in and out of the nurses office all day telling her I wasn't feeling well, but I didn't have anything going on besides that. Later that day in music class my mouth kept filling up with blood and I kept trying to discretely spit it out (I really liked music class and didn't want to have to miss it), but another kid noticed and told the teacher and I was sent to the nurse's office. My mom picked me up and first she just took me home, but I kept getting worse so she took me to the hospital and I threw up in the car on the way there. It wasn't black, but it was an awful red and brown because I'd eaten a chocolate popsicle to try and soothe my throat. At the hospital they told me that the incisions where they'd removed my tonsils had opened up and that's why I was bleeding, and when I was a teenager I was diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder after the worst menstrual experience of my life that also likely contributed to why my incisions had opened up. Thankfully I haven't had to have too many surgeries or had any serious injuries, but the possibility of excessive bleeding during the healing process is always on my mind now.
The sense that’s most linked to memory is the sense of smell ;)
[TW: excessive bleeding]
The PTSD aspect of excessive blood loss as a child is very real. When I was 6 and in Nursery, I was attacked by another kid with a shovel. He split my head open and I bled like crazy. We're talking down my face, into my eyes and my hands were just covered in it. All I could do was scream. A similar event occurred a few years later. My single mother then got me a second key cut, so I could go straight home from school, instead of the nursery (she was at work all day and night). I developed panic attacks and PTSD from then on, which have only become worse over the years. Now at 27, I'm a nervous wreck and my health anxiety is just destroying my life, my finances, and all of my relationships.
Tip for parents: Do your best to keep your kids safe from all forms of harm. This kind of stuff *will* scar anyone, and it will do lasting damage even if it doesn't appear so at first.
that's so scary and i can't begin to understand how frightened you were as a kiddo. you don't deserve what happened and i'm sure it's been rough. i'm really sorry you struggle to this day. i hope that you can cope soon & find some closure for what you went through.
That dove could do a pretty good impression of that one gnome.
Doctors have told me that removing my tonsils would be too risky because the scar tissue from all my recurring infections is too widespread. But ulcers have eaten away so much that there is hardly any functional tonsil tissue left anyway.
They have a very nice speaking voice. It was an intense story but I'm glad it could be shared on this channel. I like that I get exposed to so many different kinds of life stories here. It's always so eye opening.
Damn. and I thought my experience after my tonsillectomy was bad. I had an unknown allergic reaction where my body broke out in hives, had a heart rate of an infant (I was 13) at the time, extremely dehydrated. I was in the hospital for a few days in a room with another kid who.. i dunno what he had I just remembered he like had a tube in his stomach and I guess if he moved a lil the tube in his stomach would cause him great pain which caused him to scream.
I did get out after a few days. Went to take an allergy test to see what could of caused it and they tried all the drugs used that day among other things, they never were able to figure out what caused it. /shrug
well what i remember from going under anestesia is bubble gum flavored and i kept the mask cause it looked exactly like the spongebob front door and i asked if i could have it cause i loved spongebob i was five they were going to throw it away anyways i think
Wow, this is weirdly helpful for me, I'm trying to get a proper autism diagnosis for paperwork reasons (need fiscal and job support) and this is oddly encouraging
But you probably don't need it
Right?
Screw that other reply, good luck getting your diagnosis!
hey good luck, i'm also seeking neuro testing as well!
If you need to hire somebody to find the problem then it's probably not that big of a problem. Too many people looking for a free ride
@@carbon-based-lifeform9172 Can’t get an X-ray if you don’t go to the hospital.
I remember getting the ol' tonsils removed. We had like a "mandatory" recorder class (Im sure it was just music theory intro), but I remember actually HATING recorder that year.
Also, I love their avatar! I couldnt find a good corvid to save my life on vrc.
They do make it smell good! I have a vivid memory from my tonsillectomy when I was 12. They put a good smelling pear balm on the mask before I fell asleep.
My brother also had his tonsils removed as a really young kid, and his didn’t heal right either. The little guy woke up in the middle of the night, just like you, and was throwing up buckets of blood. It was honestly so scary, and the mess was so bad that my mom had to tear out the carpet in the bathroom.
I hope you’re doing much better now ❤️
That sounds like a miserable time for your brother I hope he’s doing better. As someone who has the flu several time throughout his life I can relate to throwing up buckets of vomit.
Side note though, that avatar model is amazing, absolutely adorable
Jeez dude, it is so bewilderingly upsetting and frustrating how awful all these fucking hospitals do this horrible shit, and then will never take responsibility for their own failures; medical industry is corrupt to the core dude.
Wow a dove laughing if you are not could somewhat passing for someone laughing
Bro that cockatiel just wants to be a part of the conversation
As someone who hasn't vomited in 7 years, I've grown terrified for it, and every time I do start heave, I'm like shaking from fear and everything. The last 2 years I've been sick quite a few times, and I've stopped lying to myself, finally started to tell myself that I'm going to have to throw up at some point....
ugh dude throwing up fucking blows. such a violent action that takes so long. hurts when you have just water in your stomach and have to throw it out. if the tip helps try not to pinch your throat or cough.
@@garzarey86 the buildup is worst for me, you know it *might* be coming, there's nothing you can do to stop it, and it's this "invisible" thing you can't see coming.
@@loyalorange503 untill you spew it out 🤣 dammit vomiting sucks. Over the years I've kind of gotten used to it and I kinda know how to force it out now? It's weird bc the feeling in ur gut never changed but once you learn those throat movements(pause) puking becomes just a 30 second activity. I reeaaaalllyyyy hope you get used to it bc it sucks when your not ready for a spicy puke
my best friend had a similar thing happen to him, he woke up the night after surgery because he almost drowned in his own blood.
hes fine now, but for a pretty long time he couldnt even stand to see a paper cut on me
Feeling nauseous is the most panic attack inducing thing I’ve ever felt....
I know the terror... constant fear and yes feeling like you are dying is a real thing with anxiety attacks. The tingling in the body.. the salty taste in the saliva and over salvation causes me immediate panic and crying and heart issue thanks to that.
I have had horrible anxiety attacks over nothing sometimes too and felt like I was dying.
Screaming to the point of fainting.
I’d love to get better too.
shoutout to the bugsnax music throughout this video.
My girlfriend has emetophobia. Thank you for bringing light to this. It is real and it is crippling.
I have a buddy who was an alcoholic (like 12 pack of Heineken a day *minimum* level) who almost died that way. He developed varicose veins in his esophagus and they started rupturing. Luckily he survived, and took it as the sign to sober up.
Idk if he plays VRChat, or if I can at least find a way to get him in VRChat, but he might be a good guest actually.
For some reason, I relate. I have no idea why vomiting scares me so much, regardless if it's me or someone else (last time I threw up for 2 or even 3 times from food poisoning, it was like more than 7 years ago, I remember being terrified about it), it's just so weird and gross. The only reason I see is that when it was happening to other people or me, it was always at night, when everyone is sleeping. It's like people wake up, walk, and throw up. Felt so wrong, it grew into a phobia. Not PTSD, of course, but it still got me somewhere here.
Well completely understandable of course. The whole experience of having to throw up is awful.
God same. I threw up once last year and the whole time it was fucking TERRIFYING for some reason even if i felt great just after. I think my 'inciting incident' was the one time as a kid i vomited so hard bits of spaghetti came out my nose. Eugh. Awful thing.
you do need a blood transfusion for a nosebleed if one is particulary bad. my borther bled from his nose every other night when he was younger, now he does once a month so its a little better I guess. once he bled for solid 20 minutes at 3am. he stopped maybe 2 minutes before the ambulace arrived and they thought I beat him up because that is surreal that once cal just start bleeding so much from nothing.
Please let icedhibiscus know that I really like their avatar!
hi I'm the maker of the avatar...thank u so much! 😳 they designed the lovely character tho I can't take credit for that one
I didn't have my tonsils removed but they recently let me know I've always delt with stomach bleeding and they found pre cancerous damages which means they had to take biopsies but I haven't heard back from the results yet. I don't think I have the C word but they told me my stomach and esophagus were damaged and I understand that fear to puke. It hurts so bad. I threw up and still throw up most mornings. I stay like 140 pounds and have been since I got very ill and threw up for days in a row. I used to be like 155 to 160 but since that last bad sickness I've been stuck at 140
i am so so sorry that happened to you, that's horrifying. i hope you can make a swift recovery.
Aw damnit the dove is cute
My sister died during her tonsillectomy when she was 3 almost 4. it devastated our entire family and whenever someone has to get there tonsils removed in our family freaks out.
Yaaaas!!!!! Keep it up syrmor great stuff!!!
hey im doing emdr! it stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. i haven't done the box yet, but ive done some other associated exercises. it's helped so much. i have very very severe anxiety. pretty much every day i get some sort of anxiety-related episode or a panic attack. but after just one session, i was able to go a week feeling pretty normal. for the first time in forever i had a day where i didn't think about my anxiety. it was so freeing.
Props to you for subtitling her dove's insightful comments.
Still better than my surgery to remove the throat amygdalas, a 7 yo in the hospital, after surgery everytime i swallowed my saliva it felt like swallowing razorblades, i spent days like this, i only ate ice creams because the cold helped ignore the pain.
To be fair i did have to wait 2 years to get the surgery because doctors insisted i only needed antibiotics so my amygdalas were in terrible shape, instead of having 2 extra small holes in my throat, i have 3 normal ones and when food goes down the left or right side it hurts a bit to this day, when it gets stuck i have to let water go down sideways of my throat until im about to cough it up and swallow to clear it up. And all mostly because doctors insisted for me to take antibiotics for almost 2 years instead of getting a surgery, not just one but multiple doctors, while it slowed down the infection greatly, i don't think i would have survived another year without surgery, before surgery it already felt painful to swallow my saliva which is why i wasn't given painkillers after it, it was worse but about a 8 out of 10 instead of 7
I love that dove
What a beautiful fella
I threw up blood a few times… from drinking waay too much alcohol. But luckily I was of age so it didn’t scare me that much .
It was only fairly recently I realized I had really bad emetophobia as a kid. Reading the graphic novel "Guts" by Raina Telgemeier made this epiphany happen. I got a stomach flu at 6 and was loosing weight so rapidly I had to be hospitalized. I was already a really skinny kid, and not being able to hold down any food or water for 2 days put me into a state of ketosis. After that I was terrified to vomit again, fearing that might happen again. I use to lay in bed at night panicking that I was going to throw up. Around age 8, I did throw up again the night my parents had taken me to build-a-bear. The next day I was absolutely terrified of the puppy plush I had got. My mom tried bringing over the plush, trying to show me it wouldn't harm me, but I felt so much fear and aversion I nearly had a full on panic attack, backing up into the corner of my bed.
The brain can be weird like that, certain sensations like, smell, taste, and touch can become associated with horrible experiences and having them present can pull you right back into that mental state. I'm not nearly as bad with vomit anymore. Over the years, I didn't throw up again, and had slowly, unknowingly worked through the trauma. A major breakthrough happened when I finally did throw up again around age 13. I woke up, knew what was about to happen, grabbed my garbage pail, tied back my hair, and just let it happen. When I finished, I just remember laying on the floor and thinking "That wasn't so bad" I finally realized I wasn't going to die, vomiting could be unpleasant, but it wouldn't kill me.
coyote if you see this i love you buddy!!!!! so proud of you ❤️
I LOVE YOU!!
i high asf and the bird sounds are making my dog erratic and it's hilarious
Love your videos man!
Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing. After a couple years of regular talk therapy getting me no where I went to a trauma therapist. Eventually we did emdr therapy. It can help with any trauma physical or mental or whatever. My therapist told me a lot about it and some of the past cases she dealt with, I remember her telling of how it took anywhere from a month to four to even six months.
It took me nine months of weekly emdr sessions to finally get to where I am now. I still need some work but I probably will need fixing for the rest of my life. I actually feel like a human being.
There’s a lot more to tell but I could write a book so I’ll just say finding a therapist I could actually trust helped so much and emdr saved me.
It’s breaks my heart a certain percentage of kids literally have died from the surgery
oh gods the exact same shit happened to me when I got my tonsils out as a kid-but within hours versus days, it was pretty gruesome. I remember how absolutely surreal it felt to see that come out of your body. Threw up like three buckets of black and red before they rushed my ass back into the operating room to cauterize it. Still have a fucked up scar/pit in my throat which bothers me.
I’m happy these have been more frequent
Lol I had a very similar situation although my fear of vomiting was created by a seizure I had one day as kid playing crash bandicoot for like 6 hours straight
I have very little memory of that day other than playing the game being stuck and violently throwing up at some point later and almost choking on said vomit
Funny enough I had the fear until like 3 or 4 years ago when I got so drunk I finally threw up for the first time since i was 7 and that helped me conquer that fear accidentally
I also haven't gotten that drunk since and seeing people throw up no longer scares me
My girlfriend has emetophobia. Thank you for bringing light to this. It is really a true example of a mental issue being as crippling as a physical one. There have been times where I have come to try and meet her and she’s had to turn me back, not because she doesn’t like me, but because she wants literally no one around when she’s nauseous like that. It hurts to watch it consume her.
The background music made this video feel a lot creepier/scarier than it should have to me...
It's from Bugsnax and it's supposed to feel that way go play the game lol its a good but creepy game.
I have had nosebleeds so bad that pools of blood dripped down the back of my throat which I then vomited up black chunks. But, post-tonsillectomy bleeding is clearly the cause for spontaneous bloody vomit 2 days after surgery.
GET IN THE LIGHTBOX SHINJI!
i have a friend that has Emetophobia and I try to be as accommodating to her as I can be and I remember a time I sent her a video with a possible sound trigger & not realizing until minutes later like it just clicked in my head so I quickly texted her like WAIT PLEASE DON’T WATCH THAT I’M SO SORRY and luckily I caught her in time so she didn’t watch it
Birds aren't real. That wasn't laughter, that was your government agent trying to fix their equipment. Doves have a technical issue still being worked on.
Yo I did EMDR for PTSD after I got mugged in univistiy. Save my gosh darn life. When I heard you talking at the start I just knew you were like me
wow that's crazy. i also had a severe injury when i was 5. it was actually on my birthday. i didn't almost die though, but they didn't know at the time that it wasn't serious because it was a head injury.
Her: "it was like piloting an Eva"
Me: "sick"
"he-he-he-he"... "hoo-hoo-hoo" cartoony ahh laugh burd bird laugh lkmaoaoas
I love that world, had some good memories there
I swear watching these videos feel like a fever dream
im not saying this to knock the story an saying you had a nose bleed. I believe they messed up. ..........This story made me remember something as a kid. One day it was hot and we did not have power or the ac unit went out. well i was laying down an picked my nose. and apparently scratched my self pretty bad and woke up throwing up black blood, I felt so bad and did not know what to do. we where very poor and so I did not go to the hospital. I ended vomiting more blood later that day. lucky me it stopped.
that happened to me once too as a kid, now that I remember. the blood scared me so much I almost fainted. I wonder what it was
that avian avatar is awesome and cute
Cool down to earth chick.