Miss, please don't feel that you come across like you don't like families, just by watching a couple of your videos here on RUclips i can tell you have a heart of gold. God bless you.
Excitement is DRAMATIC, DRAMA makes us feel ALIVE! The key is to start something different that still excites your mind. Explore you talents...turn away from the drama.
when my mom died, my aunt immediately triangulated a bunch of people and said to me, "you're just a very angry person. Everyone thinks you're angry; even _____ thinks you're angry." She came to this conclusion because my abusive brother said to her that I might have an "outburst" at her cremation and shouldn't be allowed to go. The reality is my mother allowed my brother to assault me while I was growing up. I was also coming to terms with the fact they didn't protect me from sexual abuse. i think my brother was going after anything and everything to portray me as hysterical. I think I said I had anger at my mom once to him and he used that against me. My guess is he didn't want the actual history of our family to get out. I think my aunt told me she thought I was very angry, because once about 6 months prior, she tried to give my address to my abusive mother without asking me. It was odd. It was like she was trying to provoke a reaction. I laughed when she approached me, and said omg I would disown you. She was enraged. But why say you almost violated my right to be no contact with someone? She retold that incident as if I had harassed and threatened her.
Hello everyone I've been dealing with toxic family for years and finally decided enough is enough. The gossip was so overwhelming and I finally set boundaries and told my daughter and granddaughter no longer call me with this toxic behavior and if they couldn't just don't call me. They haven't spoken to me for 5 months.
My dad gaslights me and it breaks my heart because I don't see it as malicious, I just think he really lacks communication skills and emotional awareness. But it still hurts.
I will start writing my thoughts down and I appreciate finding your channel. It's very challenging to deal with family toxicity. It's so many dynamics to my family and thr roles they all play. I've always felt I was the scapegoat, the fixer, the encouraged and so forth. I'm so done and tired. The stealing, lying, manipulative ways, guilt and shame. I feel bad for my 3 young great grands living in this family dynamic
I'm glad you are on the channel! Welcome. I'm sure you are tired. It's very draining- emotionally and psychologically. In families with this dynamic there are no boundaries and that breaks down the individual in the family who is sensitive and caring of others. It's a roller coaster.
I ran from my whole family so glad i did im not going back im the escape goat now no longer the scapegoat of blacksheep i dont go to or do any family events i creare ones with my children and grand children thank you for all your help xx
I'm so glad that I've found you. I'm 65 and my sister has made my life terrible. A family of 9 siblings and she turned everyone against me. I went no contact with her years ago. Plus her exhusband abused me. No she has one of my other sisters try to abuse me. I have little contact with her too.
Thank you!! And I'm glad you are here too. Welcome! And I'm sorry to hear this. This is exactly why this channel exists. This topic isn't spoken of enough.
You are absolutely right about some chat rooms and support groups being toxic. When they get really big, it seems like there's not enough admins or the admins are stretched too thin. Or maybe they aren't able to spot red flags because they aren't educated enough and what ends up seeming to happen. At least in my experience is that you get abusive bullies trolling victims when they share their stories of abuse. Thank you for putting that point in this video. I think it's something that people don't realize. I didn't until I decided to quit the two support groups that I had joined online. I realized after a short period I wasn't getting any support myself. I spent most of my time trying to support others because I didn't see enough of that So that was the only nice part of my experience with them. Thank you again for what you are doing! Your videos are a very valuable resource that I appreciate immensely.
Yes, you're welcome!! I see it all too much online when I am researching, through different ones who try to share chat rooms here, and among my clients when they share their chat rooms with me. It's not healthy at all! You make a very very good point about not getting support yourself and helping others get support. It can be a very draining experience. Join me live on Friday's after 5:00pm sometime! You might find support in the chat box during my live chats. I LOVE them and I'm always looking for toxicity. Glad to have you on the channel!
I am currently watching all your videos about toxic family to you give me strength. I recently rebound with my brother, who is schizophrenic and it made me so anxious that I have to take medication to calm down. I decided to cut off all relationship with him because it’s not possible for my mental health to be around him . Thank you for your advice who helped me a lot
Im always beating myself up when I talk to my dad for example because he uses any conversation we have to get what he wants (in this case to see my son) and then my mom uses that as a window to get in on it too. Then i cant directly tell them to leave my apartment and i just rage up and wait for them to leave all the while regretting even picking up the phone. I never consented for them to barge in, a phone call isnt an invitation. Uggh its so frustrating
30 yrs ago I started removing myself from my toxic fam. I had no friends. I found a church that helped me grow closer to Jesus. JESUS became my BFF. I have Peace with my very small circle! I refuse to forget the fly monkeys who've tried turning the world against me! Why would anybody want to be around ppl who constantly lie on u? I feel no guilt. I feel free. I feel like The little boy on the movie home alone when he felt he disappeared his family. I feel so free!!!!!!!
I got chills reading your experience with the church. Jesus is my BFF. God is my Father. And my guardian angels who have continued to provide a sense of security and safety, is all the friend group I’ll ever need. But I had to go thru my own spiritual experience to get where I am today. My point is; I can relate
Happy to see you! Thank you for covering this. I am reading a book called Leaving Home by David Celani that is relevant to this subject, and very helpful.
The tent story with the mother with you and the daughter lying is an actual physical triangulation my mom and sister still do this even though they don't want to be around me my mom said I'm awful oh well...... Wonder where that come from 🙄😫🥰
So terrorized. Flying monkeys. Daily hate crimes. Monitored at home,car,friends. I feel like I've been gang sodamised. It would be less painful to burn alive. I'm going to a shelter to begin healing process. But fear my spouse won't stop. You've identified/defined so many questions that I now feel a little peace in myself. GOD BLESS YOU!
That's a good question. I say learn from it and grow and then know when enough is enough. Some things, as I told a client last week, aren't to be "moved" past because it is part of the story and part of the personal transformation. The challenge is figuring out what situations are a lesson and what situations are not and just need to be moved past.
Lovely reading a few comments Tamara. When drama and allegiance between personalities is involved, the emphasis of dominance in an opinion can overtake the real truth. An individual can feel out numbered and invalidated when an assumption about one's feelings or actions is summised for them. And shutdown. Which can happen in lots of situations. So you just dont get involved because people are actually telling you how you think and feel. And in Narcissistic situations their views are always right arent they! 🫡
RUclips will make LIVE CHAT BOX live in 12hrs. Always the best part!
My parents love my spouse and believe his lies. How can I make them see he is a phyco narcistsist. He began working on years ago behind my back
disassociation with an emotionally unavailable parent is something no human being should ever experience.
My mother was horrible to me my entire life. Your vids are very helpful. Thank you
I’ve been scapegoated. They’re mad I’m staying away . But I hope they’ll understand . After all I been through they should .
You're setting a boundary for now and that's okay to do.
Same
I find peace staying away from certain family members and sadly I don't see that changing.
Miss, please don't feel that you come across like you don't like families, just by watching a couple of your videos here on RUclips i can tell you have a heart of gold. God bless you.
Thank you @jesseD! I appreciate that. 🤗 God bless you too!
Excitement is DRAMATIC, DRAMA makes us feel ALIVE! The key is to start something different that still excites your mind.
Explore you talents...turn away from the drama.
Yes. I get what you mean! Not toxic drama but do something healthier and beneficial. Good point!
My sister is the abuse cycle all on her own-- She plays all the parts.
when my mom died, my aunt immediately triangulated a bunch of people and said to me, "you're just a very angry person. Everyone thinks you're angry; even _____ thinks you're angry." She came to this conclusion because my abusive brother said to her that I might have an "outburst" at her cremation and shouldn't be allowed to go. The reality is my mother allowed my brother to assault me while I was growing up. I was also coming to terms with the fact they didn't protect me from sexual abuse. i think my brother was going after anything and everything to portray me as hysterical. I think I said I had anger at my mom once to him and he used that against me. My guess is he didn't want the actual history of our family to get out.
I think my aunt told me she thought I was very angry, because once about 6 months prior, she tried to give my address to my abusive mother without asking me. It was odd. It was like she was trying to provoke a reaction. I laughed when she approached me, and said omg I would disown you. She was enraged. But why say you almost violated my right to be no contact with someone? She retold that incident as if I had harassed and threatened her.
Hello everyone I've been dealing with toxic family for years and finally decided enough is enough. The gossip was so overwhelming and I finally set boundaries and told my daughter and granddaughter no longer call me with this toxic behavior and if they couldn't just don't call me. They haven't spoken to me for 5 months.
My dad gaslights me and it breaks my heart because I don't see it as malicious, I just think he really lacks communication skills and emotional awareness. But it still hurts.
They threatened to report me a missing person when the people I was running from was them!
I will start writing my thoughts down and I appreciate finding your channel. It's very challenging to deal with family toxicity. It's so many dynamics to my family and thr roles they all play. I've always felt I was the scapegoat, the fixer, the encouraged and so forth. I'm so done and tired. The stealing, lying, manipulative ways, guilt and shame. I feel bad for my 3 young great grands living in this family dynamic
I'm glad you are on the channel! Welcome.
I'm sure you are tired. It's very draining- emotionally and psychologically. In families with this dynamic there are no boundaries and that breaks down the individual in the family who is sensitive and caring of others. It's a roller coaster.
I ran from my whole family so glad i did im not going back im the escape goat now no longer the scapegoat of blacksheep i dont go to or do any family events i creare ones with my children and grand children thank you for all your help xx
I'm so glad that I've found you. I'm 65 and my sister has made my life terrible. A family of 9 siblings and she turned everyone against me. I went no contact with her years ago. Plus her exhusband abused me. No she has one of my other sisters try to abuse me. I have little contact with her too.
Thank you!! And I'm glad you are here too. Welcome!
And I'm sorry to hear this. This is exactly why this channel exists. This topic isn't spoken of enough.
The example of mom being good/manipulative 5:36 is exactly my situation
You are absolutely right about some chat rooms and support groups being toxic. When they get really big, it seems like there's not enough admins or the admins are stretched too thin. Or maybe they aren't able to spot red flags because they aren't educated enough and what ends up seeming to happen. At least in my experience is that you get abusive bullies trolling victims when they share their stories of abuse. Thank you for putting that point in this video. I think it's something that people don't realize. I didn't until I decided to quit the two support groups that I had joined online. I realized after a short period I wasn't getting any support myself. I spent most of my time trying to support others because I didn't see enough of that So that was the only nice part of my experience with them. Thank you again for what you are doing! Your videos are a very valuable resource that I appreciate immensely.
Yes, you're welcome!! I see it all too much online when I am researching, through different ones who try to share chat rooms here, and among my clients when they share their chat rooms with me. It's not healthy at all!
You make a very very good point about not getting support yourself and helping others get support. It can be a very draining experience.
Join me live on Friday's after 5:00pm sometime! You might find support in the chat box during my live chats. I LOVE them and I'm always looking for toxicity.
Glad to have you on the channel!
I am currently watching all your videos about toxic family to you give me strength.
I recently rebound with my brother, who is schizophrenic and it made me so anxious that I have to take medication to calm down.
I decided to cut off all relationship with him because it’s not possible for my mental health to be around him .
Thank you for your advice who helped me a lot
Im always beating myself up when I talk to my dad for example because he uses any conversation we have to get what he wants (in this case to see my son) and then my mom uses that as a window to get in on it too. Then i cant directly tell them to leave my apartment and i just rage up and wait for them to leave all the while regretting even picking up the phone. I never consented for them to barge in, a phone call isnt an invitation. Uggh its so frustrating
30 yrs ago I started removing myself from my toxic fam. I had no friends. I found a church that helped me grow closer to Jesus. JESUS became my BFF. I have Peace with my very small circle! I refuse to forget the fly monkeys who've tried turning the world against me! Why would anybody want to be around ppl who constantly lie on u? I feel no guilt. I feel free. I feel like The little boy on the movie home alone when he felt he disappeared his family. I feel so free!!!!!!!
AMEN!!!
I got chills reading your experience with the church. Jesus is my BFF. God is my Father. And my guardian angels who have continued to provide a sense of security and safety, is all the friend group I’ll ever need. But I had to go thru my own spiritual experience to get where I am today. My point is; I can relate
Thank u so much for this video.i really need to hear yhis advice my mother and my siblings are toxic
You are welcome!
It is hard to navigate that dynamic for sure. I'm sorry.
I can relate 😮💨
Healing from this is HARD, most definitely can be done though!
Happy to see you! Thank you for covering this.
I am reading a book called Leaving Home by David Celani that is relevant to this subject, and very helpful.
Happy to "see" you too!! And you're welcome. Thank you for the author and book! Hopefully others will check it out too.
Thank you Tamara! I enjoy doing the work.
You are so welcome!
Hi you are breaking down on alot of things well . Thanks
You're welcome and thank you!!
Thank You So Much Ma'am.
Most welcome 😊
I am gonna watch this video tomorrow. But I wanted to ask if you had a video on ruminating.
No, not really! You may find some ideas in this video:
1. ruclips.net/video/3sUXqHoVH2Q/видео.html
2.ruclips.net/video/zK8gshQhB_Q/видео.html
To women: pray for us
Detach!
To keep their relations rather friebdships they sabotage me rather mine
The tent story with the mother with you and the daughter lying is an actual physical triangulation my mom and sister still do this even though they don't want to be around me my mom said I'm awful oh well...... Wonder where that come from 🙄😫🥰
So terrorized. Flying monkeys. Daily hate crimes. Monitored at home,car,friends. I feel like I've been gang sodamised. It would be less painful to burn alive. I'm going to a shelter to begin healing process. But fear my spouse won't stop. You've identified/defined so many questions that I now feel a little peace in myself. GOD BLESS YOU!
What if the family your born into is a soul challenge. A place to do the work before you move on.
That's a good question. I say learn from it and grow and then know when enough is enough. Some things, as I told a client last week, aren't to be "moved" past because it is part of the story and part of the personal transformation. The challenge is figuring out what situations are a lesson and what situations are not and just need to be moved past.
Can see email you how can I talk to you ?
yes. in the description box is my email.
Lovely reading a few comments Tamara.
When drama and allegiance between personalities is involved, the emphasis of dominance in an opinion can overtake the real truth. An individual can feel out numbered and invalidated when an assumption about one's feelings or actions is summised for them. And shutdown. Which can happen in lots of situations. So you just dont get involved because people are actually telling you how you think and feel. And in Narcissistic situations their views are always right arent they! 🫡