birthday anxiety... loneliness & overwhelm 🙃
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- Опубликовано: 9 июн 2024
- I'm turning 30 in a few weeks... and the panic and anxiety has been settling in nicely.
So here's a couple of thoughts from an anxious girly...
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Hi I'm Kate Eveling and I create content to make people feel a little less alone and a little more connected 🧡
Age: 29... just!
Location: United Kingdom
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CHAPTERS:
00:00 comparing 30ths
2:18 conflicting voices
4:18 not where i wanna be
5:43 surprise bday party?
7:39 lower expectations
9:55 changing the narrative
11:58 social anxiety lol
15:17 bring better life
15:47 i'm looking forward to this
16:59 will 30 deliver?
17:41 putting right my 21st
18:58 a new perspective on birthdays
19:56 snowed under with anxiety
20:58 if you don't get messages, watch this
22:13 my birthday wish
🥰 Some links are affiliate which means I would receive a small commission if you bought anything at NO extra cost to you...but please know I'd NEVER recommend something I didn't actually believe in! (this belief is really important to me!!)
I too celebrated my 30th birthday alone last year. Later I had a small gathering with my parents, but on the day itself I celebrated alone. What did I do? I made it the best day ever, by doing all the things I like, going to coffee shops, going to the restaurant, not in my city but a city 3 hours away, so it felt like a vacation. After all, the birthday is just a celebration opportunity. Why do we put so much pressure on the day itself, when we can celebrate every other day as well? But ok, since society is pressuring me, I did all those great things and had a great day even though I was alone.
Why don’t you host a zoom birthday party and everyone on RUclips/ instagram can attend. We would love to be part of your birthday cos we are alone as well. There are a lot of people who would love be your friend, please don’t ignore this message.
Exposure therapy is scientifically the most effective treatment for social anxiety/social phobia, you should really try it out, it works for so many people! All the best, and happy birthday in advance❤
That sounds terrifying but I’m sure you’re right! I’ve heard good things about exposure therapy in other areas of life. Thanks for sharing!🧡🧡
your videos are honestly so refreshing. I've struggled with friends for quite a few years now and it's so hard to make friends as an adult (exp when you have social anxiety)!! Thank you for being brave enough to share your experience and make many of us not feel so alone. I hope you have a lovely 30th doing whatever makes you happiest :)
I really appreciate that, thank you for being here 🫶 ahhh I know that feeling so well, it’s soooo hard!! You’re not alone with that struggle I promise 🧡🧡 I’m rooting for you 🤝
Keep at it Kate , I'm sure there are many woman around your age who would enjoy your friendship. You have to try to make friends and you may feel rejection but you will make a connection with somebody if you keep trying. Don't let your anxiety or rejection beat you.
You are awesome. I’ve watched two of your videos and you seem like you would be a great friend to hang around. I admire your vulnerability and how open you are about this. You’re also hilarious. Happy Early Birthday!!!! 🎊 🎊 🎉
I turn 30 in about five weeks, too.. And I'm feeling terrible about it. I can relate in not having a huge group of close friends, especially female friends. I also have social anxiety.. Honestly, it was all relatable.
Life is too short to put yourself in a situation you will feel uncomfortable in aka a suprise party strangers and acquaintance . I listened carefully to what you said, but perhaps you could show that 21yr old self that you do not need validation from the milkman or dog walker... And that you're comfortable being alone and/or around one close person that day. Maybe it's a new perspective you should view this in. You do not need acquaintances to show up and tell you that you're important. You 100% are, regardless if you have a party or not. Every year, I make it a day about 💞 me 💞. I get my nails done, and spend a ton of money on a designer bag or botox. It makes me happy so I do it. Since covid, I feel like the birthdays flew by and I missed the second half of my 20's. I am not ready to turn 30 yet. It sounds like you aren't either.😅
Omg you are TOTALLY right 😅😅 it’s basically the validation I’m seeking from others when the only approval I need is from myself!! Thank you so much for your insightful comment 🤝🧡 I really appreciate it and needed to hear it too 🧡
I love that you make the day about you on your birthday 👏 that’s exactly what it should be!!
Sending you so much love for your 30th 🫂
I hope you know how amazing you are🧡🧡🧡 rooting for you!
@@KateEveling I'm so glad you replied because I've been thinking about this video and my comment for a few days now!
Did you decide on what you are doing for your birthday yet?
Also, have you considered making a group/page or group chat for women turning 30 (or in their early 30s) to connect with one another? Most 29yr olds are feeling the same way as you (and me!) and connecting with women who are similar in age with the same fear and anxiety of turning 30 (or have turned 30 recently) can help? Just something consider maybe!
Stop thinking and go for a holiday! Happy Birthday in advance. Have a good one!
Haha thank you!
Oh my goodness, I was both laughing and crying at what you were saying in this video because I can relate soooo much! I’m turning 30 in July. I don’t have any friends to celebrate with but I decided to focus on the people around me, what I’ve got in life and not make such a huge deal out of celebrating my 30th because, honestly, it’s draining and I want to leave all that worrying behind when I enter my 30s. Actually look forward to this new decade of my life because 20s were full of struggle and feeling unhappy. Happy belated birthday to you and here’s to an amazing decade ahead 💃🏼✨
I love this 🥹🥹🫶 and can totally relate to leaving all the bad stuff behind! I’m rooting for you 🥰 and happy 30th for July 🥳 this next decade is ours 🤝🥂
@@KateEveling 🤗✨
Your videos are always making me feel better, especially one thing you say here : the fact that we all have different lives and it's normal that we don't always experience certain things that other people do. It's an obvious observation, yet it really reassured me to hear it the way you explained it.
My life doesn't make much sense right now, and I'm dealing with anxiety and panic more. I've spent years of not being able to be fully present and enjoy the moment because of sufferings I was going through. And now I'm started to want to get moving and start my life again. But my brain is making me feel so bad about these "lost" years and sometimes I feel so overwhelmed just being aware of my present situation.
Having friends definitely helps me a little bit, but I think it's not even enough.
I still do wish you can have friends one day, because they are a blessing. And we need people to love and support us. Is it because of social anxiety that you don't have friends ?
I'm always surprised to hear you feel alone because I'm sure many people would want to be friend with you. You are so full of energy, so bright and you seem to have such a sweet and warm heart. Your energy on camera is so refreshing and gives me joy. I know that I would definitely come to your birthday if I could haha ❤
Anyway, sorry my comment is so long and isn't very well structured.
But I just wanted to share that.
Happy 30th birthday to you, and I'm sending you love and support although we don't know each other and probably live far away from each other.
My 17th birthday is in 2 weeks, I wish I could at least have a license to drive somewhere… but no. At home alone.
Hey Kate! I think you are so brave for facing your anxieties head on! Totally relate to everything omg!! I thrive on my own too, although I would love to have someone to be my weird authentic self around 😅 It’s weird because I love the idea of parties etc but they fill me with so much anxiety! I think there’s something in us though that maybe likes the challenge of beating our anxieties!? But even that concept gives me anxiety 😂 love following your journey and I really do hope your birthday ends up being good to you, however it turns out 🥰🥰🥰
Thank you so much Amy!!🧡🧡 haha I totally get it …the anxiety of having to challenge anxiety 😂 it’s never ending!! I’m rooting for you though 🫶
@@KateEveling Thank you ❤️
Happy birthday hun❤❤❤
This hit all the right spots, thank you!
Let me be first to wish u a Happy 30th :)
I just turned 30 last week! (25th of Feb)
I felt like Rachel did on Friends when she hit 30, tho Joey on that scooter lol :O
Thank you so much!!🧡 I hope you had a good birthday 🎂 haha I feel that!😅
Happy birthday I lost my dog March 6 I can’t stop crying
Kate! ive just found you through a reactive hypoglycemia video which ive just been finally diagnosed with today after experiencing years of feeling faint and dizzy and not knowing why!! I feel like i always need to eat to feel normal! I'm also with you in your struggles to make girl friends at 27 😂 theres no answer ive found yet, but the world needs more Kates!
Aww thank you lovely!!🫶🧡 I’m glad you finally got a diagnosis, although it’s tough it just be a relief to finally have an answer! I’m rooting for you 💪💪🧡🧡
Kate I truly wish you the happiest birthday this year. My birthday is also this month and we got this don't worry 🎂
Aww thank you so much🤝 happy birthday for this month! 🎂
Just found your channel from instagram and just watched your bedroom makeover videos, your sense of humour is amazing 😄
Omg that means so much!! It was chaotically fun to make 🥰 Thank you for watching!! 🥰🥰🧡🧡
I hope you have nice time on your 30th birthday. Don’t feel any pressure to do some grand thing on your birthday. As long as you enjoy the day that’s all that matters. I will be 40 this summer and looking back my 30s were better than my 20s and hopefully that will be true for you as well.
Thank you, I appreciate that! You are completely right, as long as you enjoy the day, then that’s what matters most 🧡
I hope you have a lovely 40th in the summer!
Hé Kate Happy Birthday! I turned 40 the third of march. I did not celebrate it. Do whatever makes you feel happy.
Question for you. Do you still feel crappy during the day if you "manage" your blood sugar?
Would love to hear!
Turning 30 too at 24th. Happy birthday
Hey! I'm really glad i found your channel. I feel just like you when my birthdays are coming up. Thank you for bringing up these perspectives you have, that's so important not to focus on the wrong things. It's ok not to have that group of friends. God bless you and love from Sweden💛
And btw my birthday is on april 22😊
Aww I’m so glad! Thank you for being here! 🧡🤝
Ooh not far away! 🎂🎂
Happy birthday Jacob! 🥳🤝
@@KateEveling Wow Im so happy you actually remebered that thank you!!!😃 you really put a smile on my face now!😊
That negative voice is the worst.
Don’t feel like you need to put pressure on yourself to have a birthday party. Live the life that you want, not the one you think society expects of you.
I suffer from really bad social anxiety and I think the best thing to do is to push myself out of my comfort zone a little from time to time.
so true, i really stick to minimalism when it comes to celebrating my bday i usually just go for dinner -- i think because i dont like hosting or answering those dreaded how are you doing/hows work questions or being center of attention for a long time either (thats why i settle with dinners, don't last so long) lol-- havemt had a party or big gathering since my 21st bday. i feel more anxious about planning my 30th than i do about actually turning 30 lol
maybe our 30s will be more about celebrating ourselves in other ways , like you mentioned. wishing us both luck in our 30s --- my bday is on 04/19 😊
Happy birthday 🎉 I’m turning thirty after two weeks too
Happy birthday! 🥳🎉🎉
Thank you! Happy birthday to you in the next week or so 🫶🧡🥳
Ugh you’re so sweet and deserve friends, I just want to be your best friend! Unfortunately I’m over in the States
You’re so kind!!! Thank you 🧡🧡🧡
Evening Kate 1st happy birthday for later in the month whatever you do I hope things go okay. I've not done anything anything on my birthday for the last 15 years because of anxiety i think my 30th was spent at home with a pizza and a movie I think. I do hope 30 onwards is good for you 🤞.
Thanks I appreciate that 🙏 actually pizza and a movie sounds pretty good! 🙌 Thank you for sharing 🧡 I hope you’re doing well!
It's my pleasure 😊 and thank you I'm doing okay ish keep plodding on and putting one foot in front of the other 🙃.
❤
My 30th birthday was just me and my sister. It was a good day.
On the one hand, I wondered if I was missing out. On the other hand, I had a good day with someone important to me and wouldn't wish to change it now.
Not a fan of my own birthdays, such a bizarre pressure to "show off". I'm happy doing nothing for my birthday these days. I put more weight into nice everyday interactions.
P.s. I also often spend consecutive days not going out, so the "nice everyday interactions" I mentioned certainly aren't occurring every day.
I’m glad you had a good day, I think you’re right, if you spend it with the people who matter then anything else is just a bonus!🧡
Totally understand that! Thank you for sharing 🧡
Happy birthday!!!!! I hope you have whatever day you are wanting 💕 I turn 30 on November 2nd. Oh my God, I would be so happy if you remember to message! I feel the same way. I have no friends, no place of my own and I hate the pressure that comes with birthdays and have been thinking all year fuck this one is like the most pressure fuck fuck fuck what am I gonna do 😭 still no idea but your video helped ❤
I turned 30th on February anyone from this month
Problem is the years keep adding up year after year and come and go so quickly 😂
I have never had a girlfriend on my birthday and stopped looking 10 years ago due to being on the bottom of the pile and everyone asks why I'm single, i just pick up a chip and crunch it up and say I'm damaged, injuries do that to some.
I started counting down at 40 and now I'm 34 😂.
You talk like my mind but i can never find the words to say it...😂
Aww I wish I could throw you a party 😢but we are worlds apart 🌎
It’s definitely been lonely going through life without any close girlfriends, but only when I compare my life to others do I feel this. I haven’t been able to develop a ‘best friend’ relationship since high school.
The year around my 30’th life went to 💩 … but then my life changed all for the better just before my 31’st, like a complete 180 degrees.
The universe already has everything planned out for you too.
Celebrate yourself, life is too short to compare against others lives 🎉 🎂
Also getting 30 next month and feeling the same. I would come to your party ❤
Thank you so much 🧡🧡 I hope these feelings subside for you soon, it’s pretty rough on the lead up! 🫂
December 1994 baby here ♐
are we all pisces ♓️ like this? the video hit me, my birthday is on March the 15th and i feel the same fckng way!😅😅😅
Happy birthday!!🥳🥳🥳 I hope you have a lovely day!! 🎉🥂🎊
@@KateEveling oh my god!! thank u!! it is actually a lovely day but u know what; its exactly what u said in this video, im alone but im enjoying nice music and beer all by myself🤘🤘🤘
Do you have the thirty-smothing crsis????
Yes… yes I do 😂
I just met my twin
👯
🐧🐧🐧💜💜💜
Love you 💜💜💜🐧🐧🐧
You have a long term bf though don't you? I spent my 30th with my gf, we went to town and had a great night!
Ahh I’m glad to hear it!!
i'm 30 and also cant talk to females
Have a kid before it's too late
I don’t know if I want kids… 😂
❤
🧡