They wear makeup which was associated with sex work not that long ago. They seem to pick and choose at their own will what is modest and what isn't. They made a video recently talking about their "updated" feelings about modesty and dress, which makes me think that they are, in fact, using their own feelings to make spiritual decisions for everyone.
I saw that video!! I’m glad they’re admitting that their views have changed in some things but they were so casual about something that has been so harmful to people. I wish they would have taken a more serious approach. And for sure makes it seem like their spiritual beliefs are based more on their experience/how they were raised…the very thing they called Brenda from God is Grey out for 🧐
@@BHaney Absolutely!! I wanted to say, "If you feel this way right now about this topic, perhaps the way you feel about other, more important issues, might also need to be updated." I wish their stances weren't so firm. I understand feeling like you know everything at a certain age, but generally we grow out of that and realize we all have so much to learn and a million ways to grow. They seem so set in their beliefs that even if their hearts felt differently, the fact that they've dug their heels in so deeply (and so publically) might make it difficult for them to be more compassionate... It would just be so nice to see these women grow in a more substantial way and be open to loving others more than judging them. The strange thing about them is that I don't hate them at all. I think they were probably raised in an intolerant community, but in a "loving" way, making it much more confusing to untangle. I'm so glad you're here to help unravel the mess in which they've gotten themselves. They seem so fixated on shame... I would imagine they often feel it.
Yeah we need to normalize having sexual desires as women. I struggle with it for different reasons sadly, but I can relate to what it does to someone's mental health and overall wellbeing. Just relaxing or getting turned on gives me panic attacks, I still feel like I'm "broken" even though rationally I know I'm not, but that's hard to really feel about yourself. Thanks for talking about this subject ❤️
I have been binge watching your show. I love your views and your consistent kindness, despite the ridiculous material. I’m not as kind and it helps me be more empathetic and understanding of these ideas (and people) more. Thank you for your content!
I posted something on Facebook a few months ago that a woman deserves respect and to be safe, no matter what she is or isn’t wearing and my grandma made a comment saying “if you dress like a slut you get treated like one.” That hurt me so much because even though I’m an adult now, it gave me flashbacks to being r*ped for my first time having s*x, and how I never told any adults in my life because I knew I’d be blamed and how I STILL can’t tell her or them because her comment reaffirmed that I’d be blamed. I haven’t been able to talk to my grandma normally ever since she made that comment and she doesn’t even know why. Purity culture is fucking evil
100% agree 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 I heard these same things growing up and in a weird way it actually made me look at men in general with a little bit of anger. Like…why are you all judging me for what I’m wearing? Then I got married to a wonderful guy and realized that no, not all men are like that. There are good men in the world that are actually great at respect and self-control. I am now a mom of boys and I see that this narrative obviously hurts young girls. However, it also hurts boys too. It lies to them and tells them they are weak and dependent on the morality of those around them. Our boys and men our stronger than that too and we all deserve so much better. Also, I just want to point out if every male gynecologist that has seen me with my legs up in stirrups and has still been respectful then it is 100% possible for men to handle seeing cleavage. 🤷🏻♀️😅 Great video ❤️
Self pleasuring is something that I felt guilt and shame over for years, because I kept thinking I was dirty, immoral, etc. I still have to work to rewire my brain that it’s okay! Self exploration is good and not dirty and can be beneficial for so many reasons.
LOVE THIS!! Grew up in purity culture and I NEEDED this as a teen, wish someone would have told me all of this then. But at least the message is finally getting out now.
As a Christian woman currently attempting to unwrite the harmful aspects of purity culture, I understand GD's stance because I used to think like that when I was a teen since that's how I was raised. But as I became an adult, I've realized that there is so much nuance in my existence as a woman and there is no "one size fits all" experience either, especially as a Christian. There's so much shame and condemnation attached to their dialogue that I heard all the time growing up. And it's so harmful because it caused me to base my value on how modestly I dressed and I judged others and myself because of it. GD's perspective is unfortunately a common one, but when that's how you're raised, it makes your existence as a woman shameful and dirty because a man looks at you in a gross way while you were wearing loose fitting clothes. Thankfully, I've learned that I'm not responsible for how a man looks at me or how he reacts; I am responsible for myself to not fixate on a man's body because women can do that too just like men. GD almost talks as if we're supposedly leading men astray by merely existing and we were responsible to protect them, but men are just as responsible for themselves and they can exercise self control too. I just wish that GD understood that some of what they're saying isn't inherently "Christian" per se, but a result of patriarchal society and the evangelical abstinence movement of the 1980s that was also intended as a solution against STDs, teen pregnancy, and AIDs.
God…I low key love you. You speak what I’m thinking almost every single video and you do such a good job highlighting the really important parts of each episode and you do it so well…no bias (except where no bias is imfreakingpossible…like this video). Just thank you, and don’t stop. Don’t ever let anyone take a piece of your soul and slip in a bit of the negative to take root, because that’s what happens. People nickel and dime our goodness and our happy and we must all fight to never allow it to happen. This doesn’t make sense, does it. It did in my head, lol…just know you’re abundantly worthwhile! Yes…I’ve dated a couple of those guys as well as those who can appreciate beauty with me. I always tell beautiful people they’re beautiful, regardless of sex and it’s never about sex…never. People are beautiful…some of the most exquisite people I’ve ever seen are well into their years…I love that I can see their life on their face and I can tell when it’s been lived well and fully because of their laugh lines and sparkley eyes.
Our value doesn't come from anything we do. We were ALL condemned when Adan and Eve fell, and we were ALL saved when Jesus Christ rose from the dead. If it is legal or not for women or men to be naked in public, that's certainly an important conversation. But our souls, our value, that's out of our control or opinions. We are ALL condemned and ALL saved by the will of God. As B says: just be kind to all people
Well, if you believe what the bible says. Personally, I have trouble with the idea that one person eating an apple (symbolic act or not) condemned the entirety of humanity and still does, thousands of years later. I also take issue with the idea that someone being “sacrificed” somehow saved them from that condemnation. Many evangelical Christians take the bible literally but theologists have posited that it is largely allegorical since the Middle Ages.
Is nudity in public normal to you? No I don't want to see someone shirtless at the grocery store. I didn't ask for that. No, I don't want to see it on magazines either.
I've said this before but I think self exploration, especially for women is discouraged not only in fundamentalism,but in patriarchally influenced mores because they don't want the realization that it can be pleasurable to be a part of their knowledge. Like finding out things you like and don't like is considered normal, but people who fixate on shaming people have a dual motivation in that "it doesn't have to be good for you." Or "you don't get to enjoy it." Type of mentality as far as sex in a heteronormative context goes.
Soooooooo... If we were made only for our husbands... I guess if one is a widow, no more sex for her. I wonder what she would do now if they didn't have the time to have children, tho, since she's supposed to stay home and take care of the home. Hobbies and chores are great, but time might get a bit long, and the bills might get a bit hard to pay eventually 😁
We're all sinners and we all are alive in Jesus Christ. I'd tell Girl Defined to leave the judgment to be made by God our Father, not by us, mere humans. We are all the same in his eyes since Jesus Christ gave himself for our salvation. Grace is for everyone.
I also think it is interesting that the GD dress standards for themselves have relaxed in modesty per their own book, which I did see personally, recommendations. Bethany wears ripped jeans in the knees.
Late to the party! 😆 But I completely agree with the level of respect everyone deserves. Sadly, because our society is so sexualized, I think it’s very sad that some women feel the need to show skin to have power. I worked with a lot of abused women that felt the only worth they had was in their bodies and so they dressed in sexual ways. Broke my heart. They couldn’t see how valuable they were apart from their bodies and what they could do for men. So, when I see someone dressed with a lot of skin showing, I wonder if she knows her full worth.
Purity culture is also so entwined with wanting women to look younger, imo. Women/people with large chests or hips are more often seen as “immodest” or “impure” vs those with less curves. It’s very hard to hide the fact you have those curves, even if you’re “dressing modestly”. Edit: by younger, I mean little girls.
I'm sold. Been watching your videos for about a week now, but I was kind of nervous bc you're Christian and religion has not always been good to me. But this. You get it. I love it. Thank you.
I’m so sorry religion hasn’t been good to you, it has hurt so many of us and I hope you are doing ok 💛 I want to thank you for giving my channel a chance, it is incredibly humbling.
8:14 I mean, this sounds like Bethany was concerned about the objection of women for consumption, which is a real problem, just addressing the problem to the wrong people.
😳 I thought this “topless” meant like wearing a sports bra and running pants…. IT WAS A MAGAZINE COVER WTH??? Your “men are delicate..” line cracked me up, in a sad-but-true way. Jesus said whoever looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart…. HE DID NOT SAY that any woman has CAUSED HIM TO COMMIT ADULTERY. My own religion does have different modesty standards for men and women…. And MUCH stricter than the GD set. BUT. The same religious text that tells a woman to cover up, ALSO TELLS MEN NOT TO LOOK. Besides…. If the man is supposed to be the leader in their home, if only men can hold leadership positions in their church - SHOULD’T WE EXPECT THEM TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR AND ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR OWN BEHAVIOR??!? Not completely helpless against a woman?? An aside: based on their content, I have a sneaking suspicion that they would also be judging a woman like myself, about 95% of my TBSA never sees the light of day. 🙄…. WHICH IS IT?? Come on… worry about your own clothes, I’ll worry about my clothes, and let this model worry about hers. ETA… “protect men from our boobs” got an actual LOL 💀💀💀💀🤣🤣🤣🤣
You know, i think its very generous of you to assume that girl defined accept divorce. I mean, in church there is no divorce, so of course if you habe secound husband then you are sinning and no one cares why you got divorced, and that now tou are finally happy 🤷♀️
They wear makeup which was associated with sex work not that long ago. They seem to pick and choose at their own will what is modest and what isn't. They made a video recently talking about their "updated" feelings about modesty and dress, which makes me think that they are, in fact, using their own feelings to make spiritual decisions for everyone.
I saw that video!! I’m glad they’re admitting that their views have changed in some things but they were so casual about something that has been so harmful to people. I wish they would have taken a more serious approach. And for sure makes it seem like their spiritual beliefs are based more on their experience/how they were raised…the very thing they called Brenda from God is Grey out for 🧐
@@BHaney Absolutely!! I wanted to say, "If you feel this way right now about this topic, perhaps the way you feel about other, more important issues, might also need to be updated." I wish their stances weren't so firm. I understand feeling like you know everything at a certain age, but generally we grow out of that and realize we all have so much to learn and a million ways to grow. They seem so set in their beliefs that even if their hearts felt differently, the fact that they've dug their heels in so deeply (and so publically) might make it difficult for them to be more compassionate... It would just be so nice to see these women grow in a more substantial way and be open to loving others more than judging them. The strange thing about them is that I don't hate them at all. I think they were probably raised in an intolerant community, but in a "loving" way, making it much more confusing to untangle. I'm so glad you're here to help unravel the mess in which they've gotten themselves. They seem so fixated on shame... I would imagine they often feel it.
In my experience, this is what most Christians do.
-a former Christian
Yeah we need to normalize having sexual desires as women. I struggle with it for different reasons sadly, but I can relate to what it does to someone's mental health and overall wellbeing. Just relaxing or getting turned on gives me panic attacks, I still feel like I'm "broken" even though rationally I know I'm not, but that's hard to really feel about yourself. Thanks for talking about this subject ❤️
I have been binge watching your show. I love your views and your consistent kindness, despite the ridiculous material. I’m not as kind and it helps me be more empathetic and understanding of these ideas (and people) more. Thank you for your content!
I posted something on Facebook a few months ago that a woman deserves respect and to be safe, no matter what she is or isn’t wearing and my grandma made a comment saying “if you dress like a slut you get treated like one.”
That hurt me so much because even though I’m an adult now, it gave me flashbacks to being r*ped for my first time having s*x, and how I never told any adults in my life because I knew I’d be blamed and how I STILL can’t tell her or them because her comment reaffirmed that I’d be blamed.
I haven’t been able to talk to my grandma normally ever since she made that comment and she doesn’t even know why.
Purity culture is fucking evil
I dress modestly because I don't want to scare the crap out of anybody... Everything's gone South and jiggles too much. LOL
Angie 😂 modest or not, you are gorgeous!
100% agree 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 I heard these same things growing up and in a weird way it actually made me look at men in general with a little bit of anger. Like…why are you all judging me for what I’m wearing? Then I got married to a wonderful guy and realized that no, not all men are like that. There are good men in the world that are actually great at respect and self-control. I am now a mom of boys and I see that this narrative obviously hurts young girls. However, it also hurts boys too. It lies to them and tells them they are weak and dependent on the morality of those around them. Our boys and men our stronger than that too and we all deserve so much better.
Also, I just want to point out if every male gynecologist that has seen me with my legs up in stirrups and has still been respectful then it is 100% possible for men to handle seeing cleavage. 🤷🏻♀️😅
Great video ❤️
This is one of my favorite videos yet, I really felt the rage in your voice when you said "double standard"🔥🤘 **chef's kiss**
Self pleasuring is something that I felt guilt and shame over for years, because I kept thinking I was dirty, immoral, etc. I still have to work to rewire my brain that it’s okay! Self exploration is good and not dirty and can be beneficial for so many reasons.
I’ve never literally clapped at a RUclips video before today.
LOVE THIS!! Grew up in purity culture and I NEEDED this as a teen, wish someone would have told me all of this then. But at least the message is finally getting out now.
9:48 omg please please cover “Just Pearly Things” !!!!! 🙏❤️💖✨💫
As a Christian woman currently attempting to unwrite the harmful aspects of purity culture, I understand GD's stance because I used to think like that when I was a teen since that's how I was raised. But as I became an adult, I've realized that there is so much nuance in my existence as a woman and there is no "one size fits all" experience either, especially as a Christian. There's so much shame and condemnation attached to their dialogue that I heard all the time growing up. And it's so harmful because it caused me to base my value on how modestly I dressed and I judged others and myself because of it. GD's perspective is unfortunately a common one, but when that's how you're raised, it makes your existence as a woman shameful and dirty because a man looks at you in a gross way while you were wearing loose fitting clothes. Thankfully, I've learned that I'm not responsible for how a man looks at me or how he reacts; I am responsible for myself to not fixate on a man's body because women can do that too just like men. GD almost talks as if we're supposedly leading men astray by merely existing and we were responsible to protect them, but men are just as responsible for themselves and they can exercise self control too. I just wish that GD understood that some of what they're saying isn't inherently "Christian" per se, but a result of patriarchal society and the evangelical abstinence movement of the 1980s that was also intended as a solution against STDs, teen pregnancy, and AIDs.
God…I low key love you. You speak what I’m thinking almost every single video and you do such a good job highlighting the really important parts of each episode and you do it so well…no bias (except where no bias is imfreakingpossible…like this video). Just thank you, and don’t stop. Don’t ever let anyone take a piece of your soul and slip in a bit of the negative to take root, because that’s what happens. People nickel and dime our goodness and our happy and we must all fight to never allow it to happen. This doesn’t make sense, does it. It did in my head, lol…just know you’re abundantly worthwhile!
Yes…I’ve dated a couple of those guys as well as those who can appreciate beauty with me. I always tell beautiful people they’re beautiful, regardless of sex and it’s never about sex…never. People are beautiful…some of the most exquisite people I’ve ever seen are well into their years…I love that I can see their life on their face and I can tell when it’s been lived well and fully because of their laugh lines and sparkley eyes.
Our value doesn't come from anything we do. We were ALL condemned when Adan and Eve fell, and we were ALL saved when Jesus Christ rose from the dead. If it is legal or not for women or men to be naked in public, that's certainly an important conversation. But our souls, our value, that's out of our control or opinions. We are ALL condemned and ALL saved by the will of God.
As B says: just be kind to all people
Well, if you believe what the bible says. Personally, I have trouble with the idea that one person eating an apple (symbolic act or not) condemned the entirety of humanity and still does, thousands of years later. I also take issue with the idea that someone being “sacrificed” somehow saved them from that condemnation.
Many evangelical Christians take the bible literally but theologists have posited that it is largely allegorical since the Middle Ages.
Is nudity in public normal to you? No I don't want to see someone shirtless at the grocery store. I didn't ask for that. No, I don't want to see it on magazines either.
I've said this before but I think self exploration, especially for women is discouraged not only in fundamentalism,but in patriarchally influenced mores because they don't want the realization that it can be pleasurable to be a part of their knowledge. Like finding out things you like and don't like is considered normal, but people who fixate on shaming people have a dual motivation in that "it doesn't have to be good for you." Or "you don't get to enjoy it." Type of mentality as far as sex in a heteronormative context goes.
Thanks, B, I love when you are impassioned. I agree with you on so many points!
Soooooooo... If we were made only for our husbands... I guess if one is a widow, no more sex for her. I wonder what she would do now if they didn't have the time to have children, tho, since she's supposed to stay home and take care of the home. Hobbies and chores are great, but time might get a bit long, and the bills might get a bit hard to pay eventually 😁
We're all sinners and we all are alive in Jesus Christ. I'd tell Girl Defined to leave the judgment to be made by God our Father, not by us, mere humans. We are all the same in his eyes since Jesus Christ gave himself for our salvation. Grace is for everyone.
“Grace is for everyone” I love that 💛
Grace is not excuse to keep sining though
I also think it is interesting that the GD dress standards for themselves have relaxed in modesty per their own book, which I did see personally, recommendations. Bethany wears ripped jeans in the knees.
Late to the party! 😆
But I completely agree with the level of respect everyone deserves. Sadly, because our society is so sexualized, I think it’s very sad that some women feel the need to show skin to have power. I worked with a lot of abused women that felt the only worth they had was in their bodies and so they dressed in sexual ways. Broke my heart. They couldn’t see how valuable they were apart from their bodies and what they could do for men.
So, when I see someone dressed with a lot of skin showing, I wonder if she knows her full worth.
Purity culture is also so entwined with wanting women to look younger, imo. Women/people with large chests or hips are more often seen as “immodest” or “impure” vs those with less curves. It’s very hard to hide the fact you have those curves, even if you’re “dressing modestly”.
Edit: by younger, I mean little girls.
Lol I assumed the lady in the grocery store was wearing like a sports bra or something and that’s why she was freaking out
Off-topic asf but you’re literally so beautiful omg
thank you so much💛
Get it mama B!!
I'm sold. Been watching your videos for about a week now, but I was kind of nervous bc you're Christian and religion has not always been good to me. But this. You get it. I love it. Thank you.
I’m so sorry religion hasn’t been good to you, it has hurt so many of us and I hope you are doing ok 💛 I want to thank you for giving my channel a chance, it is incredibly humbling.
Purity culture really puts a B in her bonnet 😂 On a magazine tho?! Seriously?! 🙄
8:14 I mean, this sounds like Bethany was concerned about the objection of women for consumption, which is a real problem, just addressing the problem to the wrong people.
Most stores have a "No shoes, no shirt, no service". Just sayin'.
😳 I thought this “topless” meant like wearing a sports bra and running pants…. IT WAS A MAGAZINE COVER WTH???
Your “men are delicate..” line cracked me up, in a sad-but-true way. Jesus said whoever looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart…. HE DID NOT SAY that any woman has CAUSED HIM TO COMMIT ADULTERY.
My own religion does have different modesty standards for men and women…. And MUCH stricter than the GD set. BUT. The same religious text that tells a woman to cover up, ALSO TELLS MEN NOT TO LOOK.
Besides…. If the man is supposed to be the leader in their home, if only men can hold leadership positions in their church - SHOULD’T WE EXPECT THEM TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR AND ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR OWN BEHAVIOR??!? Not completely helpless against a woman??
An aside: based on their content, I have a sneaking suspicion that they would also be judging a woman like myself, about 95% of my TBSA never sees the light of day. 🙄…. WHICH IS IT?? Come on… worry about your own clothes, I’ll worry about my clothes, and let this model worry about hers.
ETA… “protect men from our boobs” got an actual LOL 💀💀💀💀🤣🤣🤣🤣
Omg I thought the same thing!!!!
❤️
You know, i think its very generous of you to assume that girl defined accept divorce. I mean, in church there is no divorce, so of course if you habe secound husband then you are sinning and no one cares why you got divorced, and that now tou are finally happy 🤷♀️
👍✌️🙏❤️
Are your vids out of focus