David Cross has, easily, the best awkward and unsure/on the verge of crying voice I've ever heard. "I don't.. I don't know... I would assume it's bagel.."
I'm British and I fucking love David Cross. And Arrested Development is one of the funniest sit-coms ever!! Good comedy is good comedy, regardless of it being British, American or from anywhere else.
"Shut Up You Fucking Baby" is maybe the greatest standup comedy album in history. It's two discs of brutal genius. So ahead of its time, it's not even funny.
I have watched and heard this comedy bit so many times over the years and it still cracks me up, but of course, I have always considered Cross to be one of my favorite comedians.
I love David Cross, and I also love Squagels, mainly because I had one for breakfast every morning for a week at their 17th St location when they were introducing the Squagel. So I was square before you were square. I was also broke. Thank you, Cosi.
i want to say it was sometime between 1998 and 2000. at least that's the first time i ever heard this particular david cross standup. ohhhh junior year in highschool...
lol, the squagel bit was funny, but the first part about heaven was hilarious. If you haven't heard it find his bit about heaven being crowded, genius stuff.
At this era of David Cross, I loved his standup so much and thought he was so good that I thought he was gonna be the next George Carlin. But years later, and now its 2024, he turned out not to be.
@gushusla I'm with you. I'd call myself "spiritual." I would also say David Cross is so funny I sometimes have to stop listening so I can catch my breath and not vomit from laughter.
I can sympathize with that. Although I do think deeply religious folks need a good verbal lashing every now and again. Just to remind them that there are people out there who are comfortable criticizing things socially labeled as taboo.
I've never found David Cross to be funny, but his delivery on this squagels bit is perfect and has always made me laugh my ass off. This was the only joke I laughed at during the entire special it appeared on, and the joke has been stuck in my head for years. Before any Cross fans jump on my nuts about not thinking he's funny, just remember that comedy is subjective and everyone has different taste in what they find to be funny... ...unless it's Dane Cook; Dane Cook is not funny.
End scene - Dude getting his shit signed with arms crossed on monitor - "This is the apex and most beautiful moment of my life." David then walks away. Dude who's shit is not signed, pointing - "I know who you are, David! This will not be forgotten you scum!" Dude in black shirt white tie - flabbergasted at the mere presence of David Cross. Dude with mullet / poster knows he is about to be denied and escapes into darkness. Stoner - "Whhaaaa?!" In the end, David cross is the man.
I take umbrage with one thing in this bit. A band nobody gave a shit about? Come on, man, this is Huey Lewis and the NEWS! Great band - consummate professionals. And their track Hip To Be Square?! It’s their undisputed masterpiece!
You aren't required to understand it, it's my personal faith. Just like your faith or lack thereof or whatever you choose is yours. I'm not going to attack your character because of what you believe, because I'm interested in people of all beliefs living in peaceful communion in the world we share. I think if your religion isn't harming anyone, it's just as valid as anyone else's. You don't need to tear down someone else to be equal, there is room for everyone.
Then don't make statements against someone's character because they believe a certain thing. I am an incredibly logical person but I also think that part of faith means believing in something despite the likelihood. I believe that God sent his son to pay his life for our sins, and through him we are all offered forgiveness - likely or not it's what I choose to believe. That doesn't mean it couldn't possibly be a different way. That's just how I believe it is. There's room for all beliefs here.
no beer after midnight sunday? hehehe try living in Finland... no alcohol at all sold after 21:00. After that the only choice is to go in to a bar and pay 4-5€ for a beer :p
David Cross has, easily, the best awkward and unsure/on the verge of crying voice I've ever heard. "I don't.. I don't know... I would assume it's bagel.."
I've heard this album a bajillion times but this is my first time seeing it. Hard to believe round bagels are still a thing.
"Yes, I led a life of pure good. Now get in."
I'm British and I fucking love David Cross. And Arrested Development is one of the funniest sit-coms ever!!
Good comedy is good comedy, regardless of it being British, American or from anywhere else.
"Shut Up You Fucking Baby" is maybe the greatest standup comedy album in history. It's two discs of brutal genius. So ahead of its time, it's not even funny.
So, the greatest standup comedy album in history is "not even funny"? lol
Still watching 15 years later.
I have watched and heard this comedy bit so many times over the years and it still cracks me up, but of course, I have always considered Cross to be one of my favorite comedians.
this guy is a motherfucking comic genius -- i work landscaping and we always listen to his stand up, saved us in many 19 hour shifts
I love David Cross, and I also love Squagels, mainly because I had one for breakfast every morning for a week at their 17th St location when they were introducing the Squagel. So I was square before you were square. I was also broke. Thank you, Cosi.
Don't be oppressed by the tyranny of round!!
Drop, roll away, boohoo, that's you, man.
i love david cross!!!!!!!
I love you David Cross!!
i want to say it was sometime between 1998 and 2000. at least that's the first time i ever heard this particular david cross standup. ohhhh junior year in highschool...
thanks for posting ! I've heard that a few times but it's great to see it.
david cross: uniting the world
David Cross is Zero from GTA San Andreas game :D
those guys at the end like "CMON DUDE U SIGNED HIS !! SIGN MINE!!!"
It's from a show on HBO called Mr. Show with Bob and David. The skit was called The Super Pan.
lol, the squagel bit was funny, but the first part about heaven was hilarious. If you haven't heard it find his bit about heaven being crowded, genius stuff.
Wow, i was actually at the show where the girl is talking to the camera at the beginning, Cat's Cradle in Raleigh-Durham, unbelievable show...
Oh my god
No, not you.
Jesus.
No, not you.
Some of his best work.
LOVE THIS GUY!!!!!
His delivery is perfect
At this era of David Cross, I loved his standup so much and thought he was so good that I thought he was gonna be the next George Carlin. But years later, and now its 2024, he turned out not to be.
This guy just voices what our inner minds are usually saying. Fuckin awesome.
will you know people in heaven? THIS IS IN THE NEWSPAPER.
"Where did that guy get that fucking information?!" Hahahaha
XD I knew it a million years ago lol just chilling a round
"Who the fuck wants to an Angel then?"
David cross rocks!
One autograph and leave the others hanging. That's a pro. :)
I used to work for Cosi. This made me laugh sooo hard when I saw it f*ck that place.
Yep, definitely Atlanta.
Damn, man, I could totally go for a squagle right now...
i was there years ago and i dont live in the area, all i remember is being in and/or near raleigh, thanks for the correction
Chapel Hill sounds more familiar, lol thanks, I'm currently working on Taint Misbehavin' 2, with Gary Flank and Dr. Principal Heyward.
Thanks for agreeing with me, and if you happen to find the name of the movie or TV show then let me know as well.
Thank you
I know, it's because just the way he looks and his character in Arrested Development
haha yeah i was like "well well well someone is on some form of stimulant"
"don't be oppressed by the tyranny of round!"
lulz
Everybody has a job to do. Everybody's gotta move and groove.
remember that song by that band nobody gave a sh*t about 20 motherf*kin years ago! yea!
Love this guy... "Fuck you old man, here's you eating your bagel... drop, roll..."
I lived a life of pure good. Get in! (Paraphrase)
this is great
@HolidayKirk You're right, there's no need to pity them.
@gushusla I'm with you. I'd call myself "spiritual." I would also say David Cross is so funny I sometimes have to stop listening so I can catch my breath and not vomit from laughter.
u make it sound so easy.i think i'll try it.
yes
Tobias is the best character of all TV-history, and _especially_ if you know mr cross. god damn, he's a fucking legend!
I can sympathize with that. Although I do think deeply religious folks need a good verbal lashing every now and again. Just to remind them that there are people out there who are comfortable criticizing things socially labeled as taboo.
i.. i dunno.. a bagel.. ? and hes crying
hahaha
too funny
lol, those guys at the end were pissed that he didn't sign thier stuff.
Arrested development was fantastic, I miss it. as leicsbred said good comedy is good comdy
Of course the comments are 99% people arguing about religion. Ladies and gentlemen, AMERICA!
you can't do this any better
I've never found David Cross to be funny, but his delivery on this squagels bit is perfect and has always made me laugh my ass off. This was the only joke I laughed at during the entire special it appeared on, and the joke has been stuck in my head for years.
Before any Cross fans jump on my nuts about not thinking he's funny, just remember that comedy is subjective and everyone has different taste in what they find to be funny...
...unless it's Dane Cook; Dane Cook is not funny.
My Generation's Bagel.
What I wanna know is.. Will there be squagels in heaven??
End scene -
Dude getting his shit signed with arms crossed on monitor - "This is the apex and most beautiful moment of my life."
David then walks away.
Dude who's shit is not signed, pointing - "I know who you are, David! This will not be forgotten you scum!"
Dude in black shirt white tie - flabbergasted at the mere presence of David Cross.
Dude with mullet / poster knows he is about to be denied and escapes into darkness.
Stoner - "Whhaaaa?!"
In the end, David cross is the man.
that should never be how you know this man
The song right at the start. Ain't you glad it's over by kokomo. Can't find it
Or David from Mr. Show with Bob and David.
"I just blue myself"
I take umbrage with one thing in this bit. A band nobody gave a shit about? Come on, man, this is Huey Lewis and the NEWS! Great band - consummate professionals. And their track Hip To Be Square?! It’s their undisputed masterpiece!
Jesus Christ he rules.
all he's saying is variations on "this is fucking bullshit," he's not actually making any jokes. but somehow this is AMAZINGLY FUNNY.
Fair enough
You aren't required to understand it, it's my personal faith. Just like your faith or lack thereof or whatever you choose is yours. I'm not going to attack your character because of what you believe, because I'm interested in people of all beliefs living in peaceful communion in the world we share. I think if your religion isn't harming anyone, it's just as valid as anyone else's. You don't need to tear down someone else to be equal, there is room for everyone.
yep, like dave chappelle's sincere political rants and sarcastic remarks on general knowledge and assumptions on certain topics
Then don't make statements against someone's character because they believe a certain thing. I am an incredibly logical person but I also think that part of faith means believing in something despite the likelihood. I believe that God sent his son to pay his life for our sins, and through him we are all offered forgiveness - likely or not it's what I choose to believe. That doesn't mean it couldn't possibly be a different way. That's just how I believe it is. There's room for all beliefs here.
SQUAGELS!
was David in the Beastie Boys Fight For Your Right To Party video? He looks like the guy who says "i hope know bad people show up"
fuck yeah squagels!!!
@gushusla awesome
It's Zero from GTA San Andreas and Uncle Ian from Alvin and The Chipmunks!
I like how the girl in the intro is seeming all sincere (and dumb) and then add's in mildy at the end ..."and get fucked up".
You can buy square bagels now.
when he talks about bagel (before squagel) he sounds like chester from sifl & olly.
Yes, you should believe in anything and everything if that is what it takes to alleviate your cowardice.
Fucking GENIUS MAN!
yeah...those poor poor children
@rumvodkaf1 So those are what the cut-offs for?
@gushusla Well said!
@realisticHomeboy Amen to that.
Will there be squagles in heaven?
Nuh uh, dude. Not at Cosi.
FINALLY, man!
yah same here in scotland. cant buy alcohol after 22.00 and then its about 6eur for a cheap beer in a bar. sucks
bagel?
c'mon man, i know the idiots outnumber the decent people by an impossible margin, but just know there are a few decent people that believe in God.
Isn't he Ian in Alvin & the Chipmunks?????? (My brother and Sis -3 it.)
Or Tobias from Arrested Development
no beer after midnight sunday? hehehe
try living in Finland... no alcohol at all sold after 21:00. After that the only choice is to go in to a bar and pay 4-5€ for a beer :p
@D119heavy thats the point
Those square bagels make great bagel pizza.
Is anyone else effected by the way he says fuck? I think it sounds plusgood from his lips.
@premiumjerky lol had to watch it again, and they were really pissed off.
its hip ta be a square
@Gorshkin111 I wasn't hoping to get through to anybody, I was just stating a fact. Please, think what you want.
what movie is this from