i have no friends (asking random people about loneliness)
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- Опубликовано: 22 сен 2024
- In this video, I talk to dozens of people about how they feel that i have no friends in this world, that they are lonely, that they feel alone -- and the solutions to this. Most of us wander this world thinking we are the only ones out there who think we are lonely and alone, yet these LIES About Adult FRIENDSHIP And The TRUTH You Need To Hear | The Mel Robbins Podcast. As I approached people,
I approach everyone of all ages, different ethnicities and backgrounds to get a random view of the public. Asking Strangers Why They Have No Friends is always an uncomfortable approach, but to me felt necessary to see how the public feels about it all. I go into this For Anyone Who Have No Friends in case you think you might be the only one. Im deeply fascinated by this topic, especially since I want to understand How to Overcome Loneliness and Darkness | Oz Talk with Jordan Peterson.
If you liked this conversation, please let me know by liking it and sharing it, subscribe if you're into this kind of work and let me know your thoughts below in the comments.
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Hey guys, in honor of making friends and having interesting, open conversations, let me know your thoughts below. Very curious to hear your experience, where you are in this world and if that changes from place to place.
Thanks, all the love ✨
I’m a 25 year old male from the Caribbean island of Trinidad. I lost my dad when I was 17 years old. And a few months after my mom moved out. I spent 6 years not knowing where she lived, not talking to her, not having any contact with her. That really destroyed me. My mind was telling me if my own mom could leave after my dad died, who is anyone else to not do the same. So it was hard to trust people and just be social on the whole because since 17 I have been by myself basically. But trying to turn things around now 🇹🇹🇹🇹
I’m 25 and my health issues have really stalled all of my friendships and relationships. When feel like you can’t think of anything or the right word to say, and have horrible memory, and basically feel like you have dementia in your 20’s, it makes you not want to hang out with anyone out of embarrassment. Carnivore and recent CIRS diagnosis has been a slow help but now I have to dig myself out of this hole.
It is not the number of friends one has, it is the quality of the friend.........
totally
Agreed
❤
I’ve found it incredibly hard to make friends as I’ve got older
I'm in my mid 40s and have experienced the same. I'm working on buying some land and that is where I will spend the rest of my days working on my hobbies in solitude until my last breath. I did the relationship thing for many years, but those never worked out long term. I might travel a bit too in my RV and see the rest of the USA. Beyond that I've lived a pretty good life.
you can find them, I think its a matter of getting out there, but also being a fun person to be around. you can find them, it was hard for me too until it wasn't
@@laurenknighthughes It helps to be a young attractive female. Just sayin'
same
My issue is I am very friendly and literally love to treat people right however I find that I get either 1) ghosted 2) I get a fake friend and uses me or talks negatively about me
That’s been a theme in my life since high school. I do have a couple of people I can say haven’t done that but it’s rare.
It shouldn’t be hard to make a genuine friend but in 2024 it seems like it’s getting HARDER
Same here Amanda. I'm 55 now and quite enjoy my little introverted life. It's peaceful and drama free. I find as soon as I let people in they bring the drama and their problems. I find it hard being around colleagues who have a daily drama, tears etc.. Nope.. Not doing it anymore.. Good luck to you dear 💐
I love this "woman on the street" format, you always have great video ideas.
haha thanks my friend :) i find it sooo interesting
The carnivore babe. You might be onto something, helping people meet each other. Great work, excellent vid.
im 69...moved to another state...im very friendly...people already have their people...no room for more...social media destroyed it!...sad
Lauren, I'm 55. I don't have siblings, so friends were pretty important to me as I grew into adulthood. In my experience, I think that there are seasons in relationships and friends. We grow and develop constantly, learning new things, experiencing new things. As we develop, our circle of friends change as we change. Yes, there are usually 2 - 3 people that we consider friends throughout our lives, however I am seeing that I am more choosy on who I want to continue a relationship with. My years ahead are shorter than those behind, so I want to share those years with people who enhance my life, and not waste too much time with those that I would categorize as casual acquaintances (in earlier days, we'd lump those under 'friends', kinda like everyone who uses Facebook these days). A true friend is someone that shares many of your values, someone you'd race to help if they called at 3am, someone you can ride in the car with and not feel you'd have to say a word on a 2 hour trip without feeling awkward about it, someone you would pray for. Those times when I feel I need to interact with a friend or seek new friends, nothing beats being part of something like a club (I'm part of a sportsmen club and an aviation club), a sports league, a church, a volunteer organization, etc. At least, in those cases, you will likely find people that share real values and interests, instead of throwing darts and smiles at a party or bar, and hoping for a friend to come out of it. Not saying it can't happen, but as you grow older, you will find your circle changing numerous times. Social media is a friend killer, unfortunately.
I have many acquaintances but few friends. I don’t know the reason but the few I have are loyal and fun to be around.
That what I've been saying for years !!
you have to go deeper. Try spending more time 1-1 with people. eventually, you know them. eventually they know you. If you don't feel like you know them, there hasn't been enough time invested in them.
I felt similarly. if you want it, you can have it :) sending you love my friend thanks for being here and sharing this
@@laurenknighthughes Thank you for responding! I follow your honest vlogs, and enthusiasm. I will consider your suggestions and try them.
Quality over quantity. I have 3 best friends, a wife and a 2yr old son. That's all I need. A small circle of people you can talk about anything with. If you make your core group strong, you'll gain extras in the process. Their family and friends become people you can socialize with at functions or even in 1 on 1 settings.
I had an incident as a child. It lead to anxiety and massive self confidence issues. Had lots of friends but still didn't feel like I fit in. Socially Ive always been challenged but it has shaped me into the person I am now. from a young age I followed my talents as an artist and made a successful career out of it now teaching the craft to people all over the world. I enjoy my alone time when I have it. Its the way I've always been most content and comfortable. I often wonder though had things not happened as they did when I was young would I be shaped into a completely different person? I love life and who I am and just couldn't imagine it any other way. Everybody needs people in some way but few people ever grasp the enjoyment of their own company and thoughts. I'd rather get lost in my own thoughts than listen to someone talk constantly.😄
I love the topic, love the video, and love your channel. I'm just 20 days into Carnivore, but it has already changed my life. I've lost 15 pounds, two inches off my waist, sleeping well for the first time in years, joint and muscle pain are gone, and my mind and spirit are in a far better place. Full disclosure, I cringed at the recommendation of Mel Robbins. (Her politics are hard to take, at least for me.) On the other hand, you also recommended Jordan Peterson, and I'm sure a certain percentage of folks don't like him. So maybe you're trying to offer a balance? If so, you are to be commended. No easy feat these days. Much love to you and everyone else out there!
you are so sweet! thanks for dropping this and SO cool to hear about your improved life / lifestyl. I love it.
I do think Jordan Peterson is great. He turns a lot of people off, but i think it's because they don't give him enough of a listen. If you really listen, he has a good soul and a good heart. He's a good man. I think he's a good man to a lot of men who don't have a good figure to look up to, at least that's what men have told me personally.
I also think he is very emotional, a soft heart. when he talks its hard to see that, but then he talks about stuff that he cares about and it really impacts him. Overall, he's controversial I suppose, but i think he says things that matter, albeit intense as he can be haha :) keep us posted on how you're doing!
Great video, very pertinent, thanks Lauren.
Good video, Lauren 👌✌👍
thank you :) glad you're here and appreciate you letting me know you appreciated it.
I tend to focus all my energy on dating because it’s been really hard in my 30s and 40s. I’ve been mostly single for over 10 years and really bummed about it. I figured making friends would just sort of happen on its own but to find a partner I would really have to be intentional and seek that out. I made some mistakes with friends by being a nomadic loner and making everyone think that I wouldn’t be around for very long, even though I desperately wanted to settle down. So I’m still trying too hard probably but I’m still seeking a woman to be lonely with, because having a large group of friends unlikely.
Great video Lauren , I love your videos
Thanks david :)
A beautiful young woman will never, ever be lonely
Good questions Lauren~ loved this because it's something not talked about enough, though it's rather universal I think. Anytime we can relate to the typically unspoken is another opportunity to do something about it. Brings it into awareness, removes some of the stigma I think. Thx dollSammy in AZ
thanks Sammy :) so happy to hear that you think it has that positive impact. I sure hope so. happy to have you here my friend
Thank you for this video Lauren! I think this is something we all have dealt with and it helps to know we are not alone. Have a great week! 💖🌺💖
I live in Austin and work 1 on 1 with people with disabilities. I have no co-workers since I'm an independent contractor and it is SO hard. I belong to 2 local gyms and am friendly, but still find it very challenging.. I truly believe there is a loneliness epidemic. I'm 36.
Are u a guy or a girl? Asking cause I might have a place to meet ppl
@@laurenknighthughes I'm a girl! 🙂
This is a nice Interesting Topic Meeting People Having Conversations with People in Texas, that nice to see,
Most of connections which I have now, are related to hobbies. Motorcycle track riding - on the track we need to help each other with technical issues, riding problems etc. Photography courses - helping each other with technique, and photo related issues. Dogs - meeting same people one the same place, dogs are playing, there is a time slot to talk. Etc etc...
Sure most of the connections are not very deep, but there is a big pool of possibilities, and you have a lot of options to choose to which relation invest (so you can help/learn/try etc)
So in general, common topic helps a lot, possibility to help someone or to get help is useful again. Time allocation (track day, photography course time, dogs playing) is huge helper - you can go deep, as everybody has common target, time slot and place.
Good this! opens the eyes for different perspectives
I like this dude...do more.
When we gave up religion in the western world (I mean serious religion, as in it being an integral part of your life in every way; social, family, political), we underestimated the impact it would have on people in this way. During the social revolution of the 60’s we thought we were bequeathing a world to the next generation that asked for limited responsibility to others and maximum self fulfilment, while allowing for the exact amount of interpersonal connection that each individual would choose. This did not work. Now, i religion in its old form ever can or should make a comeback, but with deaths of despair the leading killer of people under 40, it is clear we need to have a deep think about issues beyond shallow pop psychology and self help platitudes.
i find the topic interesting too. lack of "faith" or "god" or even organized religion seems to have created a bit of isolation. I think the church at the minimum created a "gathering place" for people to see others. There is value in that, whether one agrees with religion or not. I do think that having a shared ideology probably does help to unite and bond people too in ways that maybe we don't have as much of right now in modern day society. Interesting stuff to consider for sure... thank you for sharing this and being here my friend :)
Come to the midwest in the Ozarks. There is a church every few blocks.
I'm a middle aged man and have no friends, zero. I'm the only one to blame. I'm reasonably successful, but life seems mostly pointless without any friends or anyone to share life with...
Get out there and meet them! Im sure they’d love to know you honestly. Why not go find ppl? Find groups to join, will feel weird but 4 months or sooner into it you’ll have friends if you show up consistently
@@laurenknighthughes Believe me, I do put myself out there. I'll just keep trying! Thanks for the encouraging words.
Hi, Lauren. I hope all is well. I can be your friend! Lol!
In my opinion, today's friendships are more superficial. Most don't want to go through the process of getting to know others. Instead, they prefer to go to an app and select a friend.
Great video, Lauren. I'm your fan, and I call myself a "Laurean".
Stay safe, stay healthy, and stay happy!
Pops
Moved 8 years ago, still no tribe found. It sucks and affects mental health.
Cool new content, Lauren. Nice job.
People are definitely lonelier these days both young and old.lts so much harder to make true friends as you age, l have no friends people l knew passed during the pandemic.Friends have let me down , l dont have close family l got to a stage with them where l didn t like how l was treated by them..I put up with it as l didnt want to lose them but gave up.l spend Christmas birthdays holidays on my own.I have got used to my own company, l can rely on myself.
you can and should find other people. That doesn't mean you HAVE to rely on them completely, but having a few strong connections is very important in this life. It's necessary for humans, we're social creatures. I'm sorry to hear you've been let down or hurt, I think everyone can relate to that. I can too. But overall, I think you sound like a gentle and lovely person. Try finding people again, it's another element to "living" that shouldn't be ignored. Just because we can isolate, doesn't mean we should. sending you all my love and thank you for dropping this comment / being here.
Good vid Lauren... All my friends moved/got married etc. God gives me peace and strength and keeps me grounded. John 15:13. 🙌
find new ones :) they are everywhere once you start to see the world that way. thnaks for being here, i'm sure you can make lots of new friends
God is the only truly good friend.
I've been so lonely :(
- Is it easy to make carnivore friends ?
- Euh... carniwhat ??
(this video wouldn't go well)
We seek to be bro+Hers , not frie- ends. In the beginning was the WORD, Our words are Power when WE tune them into common TRUTH ❤ Way ❤ LIFE. Travel to meet your equal opposite, who is equally yolked, in Health, Family, Freedom in the TRUTH, Meat together in an ORGANIC Healthy WAY.... LIFE ❤️ my prayers are for to follow your heart....not a Dog,. A GOD....talk to the Father in Prayer 🙏 FAITH will move Mountains in the name of JESUS Family Freedom ❤❤ 2 become WON......Bless UP bro +Her. In Prayer. 🙏
I've also got a son😉..........
Friends can be important. But as a 40 year old man what matters to me is my wife. I have one best friend I keep in touch with on the phone often. Friends in general are for people who aren't grown up yet. Life is about conservative, traditional, Christian principles and we all gravitate towards that whether you are aware of it or not. Because there is no happiness other than that. Once you're married happily you don't really need friends for the most part. But in today's narcissism filled pathetic liberal woke society people avoid the principles I mentioned. What's the outcome? Chronic depression
When did you and your wife meet?