I’m 58 and have finally realized that the only reason that I felt lonely was because society drills it into our heads that being alone is bad … Everything I enjoy are solitary pursuits. I do my own thing and feel more peace than I ever have in my life by leaning into my hermit like tendencies.
I completely agree with you! It’s funny how people are like, “We’re all different.” But in real life, they think we should all be the same. It makes no sense at all. 🤷🏽♀️
There's a difference between being lonely and alone. Those who feel despair, despondent, alone, lonely, do you Never think of God and JESUS?! God does not abandon us. We abandon God ✝️ ☯️
Being quirky and feeling like a misfit, or being sensitive to people or other things, can be a sign of autism. Being talkative can be a sign of ADHD. Being quirky and talkative can be a sign of having both.
Some of us on the Blick team who are "of a certain age" really connected with this. This channel helps so many artists feel less lonely, and gives artists permission to love what they do, and do what they love. We have so much respect for artists at any stage in the journey, but there's something special about those who stubbornly persevere and sacrifice long enough to make their best work. We're excited for the possibilities ahead, and can't wait to see what The Unexpected Gypsy has in store for 2023!
Speaking of appreciation, the day I found your channel felt like finding a treasure! The SITUATION hit at some of my lowest wellness levels combined with reluctance to go to health care providers offices! At times confusion and frustration sucked joy out of my creative process’s! There you were dealing with similar issues, other RUclipsrs ignored or dismissed what was happening! You struggled and found possibilities that dealt with the bumpy ride! Many days the only bright light was having cup of something warm and visiting you and James! Here is my heartfelt thankfulness and blessings for holiday joy!
Wendy, your vlogs always make me feel like I’m catching up with an old friend❤like a nice hug, a giggle, a heart to heart chat over cozy warm cuppa tea. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and for being so relatable and singing “been around the world 😂” That took me back😅 I’ve been thinking a lot about how I love my alone time and yet sometimes feel like I might be missing out on a bigger more exciting social life. However, I’m always busy with family and business stuff and creating art for my business that I feel like I haven’t the space in my schedule to run off to meet a friend for coffee. I definitely feel it’s important, but also feel that pacing myself and giving myself space to breathe and think and rest is of great importance as well❤ I wish you and your family and warm and cozy Christmas 🎄 take care!
Being alone is a luxury. It's the only way to be introspective, know yourself, study, read, learn and reflect . Other people drain one's energy, attention and time.
As long as being alone do not become feeling lonely, i totally agree. I love being alone too, but i know i could not stand to be without any human contact for days or weeks ^^'
Oh, wow! Even with people around, l feel lonely. Last night, l listened to someone gripe and whine...and l felt lonely. No connection. Because of my relationship, though, with my heavenly Father, l feel soothed.
Lovely video to find. I'm 59 and also mostly without friends. There are excoworkers but that's about it. This past Thanksgiving, instead of spending a stressful day with bitter angry relatives, I went rock hunting by myself on my favorite beach. It may have been my best Thanksgiving ever!
I know what you mean, this past thanksgiving instead of seeing toxic family members I stayed home reading one of my favorite series of books. Best decision I ever made. My shoulders were light with no stress!
I love to paint and I often questioned why I was never surrounded by a lot of women. But find it a blessing as I got into my late 50's. The longer you spend alone, you become your own best friend, not in need of validation or people to feel sorry for you. It's peaceful and there is no gossip or back stabbing, Better off I say!
My husband of 35 yrs passed away Nov 2021. He and I were only 54 yrs old. I miss him so much so now I am alone. He was my best friend. But I don't enjoy being around a lot of people. Now that he is gone I prefer the solitude. I am not lonely for people just lonesome for the love of my life.
So many expect me to have a social network but it has never worked out for me. I am hoping I will not mind solitude as well if I lose my partner who is my sould partner. I am sorry for your loss and my heart goes out to you.💔
For 50 you retain a childlike aura that I love and wish to preserve within myself. One time I had an ex tell me to "act my age" at the grocery store, needless to say I broke up with him. Solitude is my safe place
Thank you Wendy! I am so happy I found you after I lost my husband to Covid. I can’t believe I am beginning my third year without him. This time of year is hard because I lost him December 14th the day before our anniversary. I am learning to embrace my loneliness and be my own best friend. ❤
Wow, it's very surreal how time flies Monica, xxx and I send the softest hugs for your December, being our own best friends is such a gift but I also appreciate that navigating loss requries lots of softness. Big loves xxxx
I’m 55 and truly alone, no man, no kids, estranged from my parents and brother. I think people in couples get insular in their couple and it’s a big reason a lot of people don’t have any friends and that friendship has broken down in society in general. At least you have a partner, it’s a whole other level when you’re truly alone, not the same situation. I have literally no one to call on if there’s an emergency or other problem.
I'm in your age group and in a somewhat similar situation. I'm curious if you're enjoying your solitude, or if you long for a friend but just can't find one that works. I've come to think that friendship is more about convenience and methods of communication--it's all about if you like texting or phoning or meeting in person for tea or meeting in a gym or on a certain walking trail or at a group meeting. It's more about that than "clicking". Maybe I'm wrong. I'm curious what you think...
True, I agree that couples can do that and know I am v blessed to have James. Life before we were together was v different so I know how you feel. I am estranged from half my siblings too so can empathise greatly.
Yes, this is a good point, and I think it’s important to click and just feel good in someone’s energy. You know, so we don’t feel drained afterwards…. It’s hard to find that kind of compatible company in my experience and I have always longed for it. Hope that helps. 🌷🌷🌺
People are disappointing I recommend a dog dogs are the greatest friend you will ever have Your never ever lonely with a dog They love you with all your flaws They feel your emotions They heal you Xxxxxxxxx ❤❤😊
*I love my solitude. I crave it. I am alone by choice. I was invited to a party the other* *night and I went. Small talk with strangers that I will never see again. I came home* *after a couple of hours and thought...."I'm NOT missing out on anything!* *I am 75 and have 3 dogs and 2 cats. I am good to go! And I don't fear death. I've* *had a wonderful life. I couldn't have designed it any better. Thanks God!* 💖💫
@@earnold1896 *Oh absolutely! I have it all* *covered E. They are all older pets.* *So hopefully I will outlive them.* 💖 *But if something does happen to me* *I do have someone for them. Thank You.*
@lucyrane1318 That's awful, because you are the smart one. I lost my beautiful sister to her 2nd Pfizer jab - she had a heart attack and was ill for 4 days after the vax and passed on the 5th. People can be so judgmental and I find that it is better to be alone than constantly judged because they perceive me to be different.
@lucyrane1318 I'm so sorry to hear that, Lucy. I totally agree with everything you have said. It felt like we were all living in an alternative universe during covid. They powers that be took total control over us and it was beginning to get very creepy. My sister lived in Dubai and my other sister and I watched a recording of our other sisters funeral. It has taken me two years to get slightly back on track with my life. But I'm glad that you did not take the vax because it was evil how they lied to control us all. I saw a video of Austrians being interviewed regarding denying those without the vax entry to various places and it chilled me to the bone. However, staying positive and not allowing people to steal our joy is definitely the way to go. Have a lovely week.🌻
@lucyrane1318 Lucy I agree with what you are saying and it is frightening. We don't have any freedom and once someone is running a country they seem to be able to get away with whatever suits their agenda. I was sleep walking through life until lockdown. I began to read online news daily and it painted a very depressing picture. Sadly, I don't believe it will improve and I am glad that I am not a young woman any more, because it is not the world I grew up in. I will watch the videos you mention and thank you for chatting with me today, it's been very interesting and informative. I only hope that those with evil at the top of the ladder will be stopped before things get even worse. Take care of yourself. Love from chilly Scotland.
I’m 60 and have been totally alone & celibate 98% of entire adult life. Yes it was painful for a host of horrific reasons, but in later years (esp the last 20-some), my solitude as a woman alone is quite blessed.
I was partnered a few times between 20 and 40, but to be quite honest, life was less complicated being single. Everything I have is mine and I am fulfilled mostly. Do miss a companion, but one can’t settle for 2nd best. If it doesn’t make be happy it is a no goer! I’m in my late 50’s.
@@Carte-Blanche-NZ just find things you like to do & you will find others to visit with while doing them. Life is so much simpler alone for so many people, and yes even financial independence from others is a huge plus. Also it’s virtually impossible after a lifetime alone, to even think of “being” with someone-- other than maybe sharing a space with a best friend of 20-30-plus years-- who’s also lived alone entire life--and even then, you need separate wings of building/ living rooms/ etc etc…. Maybe share a dining room. 😅people who live alone like their own company and privacy very much.
A few of the comments have brought this point up: you might want to change the title of this video. You have a partner therefore you are not alone. Alone is not having anyone to be there in the flesh on a consistent basis. Whether it’s a friend, partner, children, sibling etc. So that being said as sweet as your video is remember that a lot of the people that will check out your video are here because THEY are completely alone. ❤
Thank you! 💛. I am 54 year old Andrea from Buenos Aires, Argentina. From Scottish ancestry. I think the end of the year is an internal feeling. I am a loner myself. Married for 26 years. 2 beautiful grown-up daughters. School secondary teacher. Retired now. I have felt unfit many times. I've got extended family and a couple of friends. Yet, I feel distant in terms of interests, view of life, and the lot. Of course we can share "mates" together and have a good time, all the same. I dont follow the norm, just because. Einstein's quite, great! Greetings and ❤️ to you all! From 🇦🇷😉💖
I'm the same way. I'm a loner by nature, and the older I get, the more I don't mind being alone. My RUclips channel is one way to connect with the outside world, because I don't feel comfortable in large crowds. It's so comforting to find someone like you who seems to understand me. God bless.
I’m in my 60s and while my husband is my friend, I don’t have any others ( just acquaintances, who I barely spend any time with!) and I love it! Our society tells you that you will wither and become depressed without other people, but for me, I have found it reversed…when I had a load of friends, I always felt so anxious and drained…I believe my true nature is more hermit like, and it wasn’t until I embraced this part of myself that I really found inner peace and haven’t looked back! While I don’t recommend this lifestyle for everyone ( of course not😄) I do feel getting to know how I best function has really helped me😊❤ oh and… thank you for another year of wonderful content… you are a special being and I appreciate you sharing your life!❄️❣️👏🏽✨
I like the way you put that and I agree so strongly that many of us are healthier mentally when we limit our social lives - I do lots of art work, work with people in an intense way and really need my peace and quiet time!
Thank you so much for this video Wendy. I'm also in my 50's with no human friends. My only friends are trees, they never judge you for being a bit weird. Apprecicate your videos, they have meant a lot, they are therapy. Wish you and James all the best ❤
@@lizziesangi1602 The trees and all of Nature is God ☺️God isn’t separate from Nature and that is why there’s true healing and peace when walking amongst the trees, along the rivers and through the meadows of Nature. God is never separate from us as well…we are God…we are the children of God…lil sparkles of light ✨💖 Many blessings to you 🙏
It’s getting to the point where I read “I have no friends” and my brain automatically does the math and it translates to: “I’m mentally stable and emotionally intelligent and independent and free of social drama.” 👍🏽 there’s millions of us out here.
I'm in my twenties. I don't have friends, and I've never been happier. I'm a total introvert, and when I used to have friends, I was so stressed, overwhelmed, and uncomfortable. I have my partner, the love of my life, but he is a truck driver, so he isn't home often. I don't mind that, though. Our time together is precious to me, but time spent in my own company is also remarkable.
I'm disabled and bedbound and in the last 4 years I've realized that it is an able-bodied world full of ableism. I have no friends and I spend all my time being creative with writing and art making and I really love being alone. I also have my own RUclips channel which keeps me busy. I think society teaches us its wrong to be alone and bad to be lonely, but we wouldn't appreciate the together time if we didn't have the alone time. Thanks for this video!
My mother is recently bed-bound and I know she’s severely depressed from it. but she’s recently started doing crafty journal pages, and for two hours a day she doesn’t think about the pain. Anyway, subscribed, and I wish you all the happiness
I'm 61, and I have always kept my inner circle pretty small. My husband passed in 2019. I have two kids (adults now) and a wonderful dog. I am focused on my art, and I do better art work in the quiet. I have fewer people around me due to illness and death. Ultimately, I try to bloom where I'm planted, I don't have the energy to develop new relationships. Good blessings to everyone everywhere now and always!
I always embrace the trees as my friends. In childhood I had a very special relationship with the trees in the woods. They provided a safe place for me and often they sheltered me from the elements. I would listen to the voices of the trees in the wind and when it was silent I felt the trees give me peace and comfort away from a very harsh environment of physical, mental and emotional brutality that I endured for most of my childhood and adolescence. I didn't realize that I was a loner. I just knew how much love and peace the forest gave me and still today at 62 I long to be alone and with the trees where I find myself at peace. I am a tree hugger and nature lover. Plant a tree...plant it for the earth to provide the healing elements and purify the air we breathe.
When I was really young I actually loved being alone. Then society said it was not good so being as it portrayed being alone as painful. So I was really pushed to be social and when I was not social I thought of loneliness. The older I get the more relief I felt as I can I can choose more about the company I keep. I realised I don’t have to be surrounded by people to feel joy.
Hello, My parents have passed away. My best frient passed away this past Friday. I never married nor had kids. I'm a complete introvert. I have no idea what lies ahead but the loneliness, depression, bad relationships, etc. have sucked the life from my spirit. I turn 50 years old this year and it feels as if life had no meaning. You're absolutely lucky to have a partner! Best to all us survivors!
Try n keep the light in your sights. Things do change n change again. You are on a difficult path but obviously you have been chosen fircit because you are strong. People or 'spirit ' cannot intervene on your chosen path but, as I have found they can lift you a bit when things get too much for us. Listen to the 'whispers' that chance meeting in a shop, the stranger that makes you laugh. It's all your unseen 'helpers' that are cheering you on. Nobody here is entirely happy because it is not our home. It is a journey. Happy travels love from an old English great grandmother x
I hide away for months! I wanted to do this most of my,life but the rules of society would not allow it. Now I am alone, no family,or friends. I’m finally free from from the pressure to be “normal”. I might get in my car and go on a road trip. Just travel alone, sleeping in my car and preparing my own food. No eating from a fast food place. Love your video!
I somehow? stumbled on your video. I am a lady 58 living in the USA and I have no friends and don't socialize at all. I am also a artist, it gives me so much joy and so much fun, my home is a place of refuge and a place to enjoy the things I love. Many people don't understand introverts and think we are weird, even my ex husband, he's my ex for another reason. Anyway, I understand everything you are saying, I already knew there was people like me, I am not weird, I'm just different...and that's ok. Also, no social media at all. I'll watch it but I don't do anything on it. No facebook, none of it.
Thank you for sharing. I am 48 and until a few weeks ago my company was 2 rescue dogs. My protector pup Pokie was killed by a police officers car. Leaving me and Stormy heartbroken at Christmas. Until this happened I was content and even joyful alone. Now I am faced with a great reality that I don't trust others enough to allow intimacy of any kind. I miss my parents greatly! I wish I could find a piece of my old extrovert self. I am so grateful I have seen this! Maybe I do still have a tribe.
I'm 61 and I don't have friends either. My sister was my best friend and she passed away a few months ago. I do love my alone time, I always have, even as a child. But I sure do miss my sister!
I stopped trying to include others in my interests or engage anyone, against all therapeutic advice , I stopped making bids for connection, im weird, socially incorrect and tired of trying to pretend otherwise, im leaning into it instead, i bought a black sheep t shirt, one that says nerd, and weirdo 😊, and its ok, its walking in truth all the time, no more masking. im more accepting more evolving and transforming than changing or adapting myself to fit anywhere, radical self acceptance has brought me the peace, love, and the infinite space to be creative that i have always needed. So thank you for being here, to support me , my quirky english artsy internet friend that i didnt know i needed🎉
I'm glad I found this video. I'm turning 44 next month, no kids, never been married and have no friends either. I've learned to be content being alone and to focus on self improvement both physically and mentally. I've stopped using social media sites and dating sites and started focusing on dieting and exercise for a year now. Due to losing weight and getting back in shape, it has really helped me feel a lot better and happier. Fitness has brought me to that special place where I feel even more independent and don't have the need to have anyone in my life like friends or a spouse. Anyways, just wanted to share and hope it might help someone else.
Good for you! Love your attitude. Honestly, relationships, spouses are very overrated. Remember just over half of marriages end in divorce and if you think you're lonely, it's a million times more painful when you go through divorce. You've got to find yourself all over again. Or when you get trapped in a bad relationship, which is far easier to do than people think, you feel that sense of alone-but-not feeling and it's the WORST. At least she has a loving partner. Lots of women have partners who don't share their interests. I see it around me all the time. But they stay because it's comfortable and they'd rather not face being alone. I've always felt that people who can't be alone are just sad. The way they cling to a person or spouse is just... Yikes. Most friends will bail if things get tough. Chronic illness will definitely reveal who true friends are. Otherwise they disappear. Not sure if it's worth it. Keep going on your personal health. It's everything.
@@edeneverly2573 Thanks for letting me know and be even more aware of how marriage and divorce can be like. I like how you got more into detail about divorce. But yes, people are too co dependent on other people nowadays because they're afraid of being alone. It's not a healthy way to live. Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I will definitely continue with my diet and fitness goals as we enter the new year. I love exercise. May you and everyone else reading this to have a lovely and happy 2023. 🙏🎉🎊🎈🥂
I’ve always been a loner, I prefer no friends…..less complicated, no drama…..I like it. I talk to others at work etc…..but I’ll never become more than acquaintances. I’m VERY HAPPY
I am 74. I have been alone for most of my life.. but 4 years ago i met some one who i fell deeplyvin love with. I moved in with him 2 years after we first met...and then 4 months ago my cat and i moved out. It didnt work out. We should have met when we were much younger. I found myself loosing touch with who i really was and trying to become the person he expected me to be. Anyway... i too am an artist and finding my creativity has bounced back.. i love being able to let the day take its own course. And i have found myself again...the me i like. My cat seems quite happy which is a relief too. Maybe he just likes me to be happy too. Thank you for your channell. Us artists really are a special clan arnt we? Philosophers and fools who have a SPECIAL calling. Thank you. ♡
I think, no I KNOW we all tend to lose a large part of ourselves while trying to please others. This happened to me also, my art practice suffered because I was too busy trying to please my ex partners. It is a horrible sensation, especially when you know your true self is shrinking and your spirituality suffers too. If that makes sense? Something deep inside is hollow, empty. It was only when I returned to my art that my soul began to open up and heal.
While, I’m only 43.. I have teens… a hubby who works just as much as James, I also have no one but my hubby.. no friends. This vlog really touched my heart. 💜
And mine . It's just lovely to see normal lives and your relationship . Most importantly your honest life in your 50s rather than a curated life . Lol at your 'podcast seat'
It’s not spending time alone that’s hard ..I enjoy that…it’s about having literally no one during the hard times…literally no one to come and pick you up from the hospital or visit you while your there…no one to spend a holiday with…no one to talk to when you’re 16 year old dog goes to Heaven 💔
I love being alone. I'll go to the cabin for weeks on end just to be alone. The older I get the less I want to take part in society. America has really changed and it's heartbreaking to watch it decline.
Being alone is different when it's a choice, I always need some of that, but sometimes the choice to NOT be alone isn't available, it can get lonely if your inner spirit is weak from the normal challenges of life.
As a twice divorced woman, I have lost two lots of so-called friends. But in my second life makeover, I found and joined a wonderful craft group, in my new town, and I can honestly say that I have never had real friends till now, in my 60’s and 70’s. It was quality craft that has got ma back into my art, and I am the happiest I have ever been in my life!
I'm Autistic and no friends, was forced to be social...now at 45 happy to isolate...I'm blessed to have 4 children and two grandchildren around me, all Autistic and so much fun...don't need anyone else. But you are definitely my RUclips friend and bring me peace, joy, and creative inspiration...thank you🙏 Much love to you💐
I was happy alone for a long time, but I need to actively seek out interactions with people now (going towards 50). I have no partner and no parents anymore, no job right now, and live in a foreign country, I think all those contribute a lot to how I feel. I don't know anymore what/who I am and where I should go.
I had the same best friend from age 12. A decade ago, I booted her, my boyfriend, and all other friends, except for two. I speak only to those two friends and not often. I'm now 50. I rarely leave the house, and I've never been happier. I went from being very outgoing, lots of friends, never home or sitting still "type", and always depressed, to the exact opposite. Today, I'd rather work in my garden, than do anything that involves people. And not a single day of depression in at least eight years. Too many people aren't worth a ****, so we're not missing out on anything. Being alone will not ever mean being lonely. PS. I'm also left handed.
Oh my, you sound like me. My husband is my best friend and my daughters. My mom was too but she is now not on this earth. I feel blessed. And I am just a few years older than you xo
I really appreciate this video because this is such a common occurrence, that people look around to identify real friends, but find that they aren’t real friends. They are mostly acquaintances. Being happy with that revelation is also a challenge because the social media has made loneliness seem like some sort of dreadful disease instead of the stark reality of many, many people. I appreciate your brave stance to be able to openly admit this.
The loneliest I've ever been was in a crowded room. And thank goodness for that, otherwise I would never have met myself. I spent so much of my life worrying about where I fit in and who I was supposed to be that it left me with so little time to just be who I am.
I honestly thought I had friends.... until I went through a heartbreaking crisis several years ago and friends couldn't be found. So I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and took care of ME. Recently, I faced months of chemo and surgery and radiation... and naturally those so-called friends beat down my door offering help... NOT. So, again I took care of ME. And those loser friends? They're in my rearview mirror.
@@lauraduffy9055 There is a saying "Having to be alone is the hardest thing, being able to be alone is the best thing." I'm alone most of the time, but don't feel lonely. I just love doing my hobbies or something that makes me happy. You need to find the small joys in the daily life, that only you can get.
Being alone has freed me. People drain me. So much talking. I'm, however, on a spiritual journey, so maybe that plays a role in my being alone. I've been a giver all my life. I have to be alone now so I learn how to give to myself.
@@JustDiane71 I am a giver too. It would be so lovely for someone else to give back to me too, but I only have myself and my dog, so I suppose I must be like your jkim1316 and learn how to give to myself, and I am trying now at 66 years young - better late than never I suppose?! xxx
I, too, am a giver, but after becoming a widow last year, I have slowly learned how to move on in life and enjoy the new freedom I have. I have begun to embrace art ( a passion that I have always felt) without ridicule or condensending comments. Most of my family members do not understand my desire to create & the excitement it brings to my heart!!
I am privileged enough to share my life with a dog, Mook. She is a West Highland terrier and an excellent judge of character, she is also my best friend
I also don't have friends and am even choosy what family I allow into my life. I prefer my own company and have my hobbies and pets or just lose myself in a book or music. For the first time (im 68) I am contented and have peace, maybe alone but never lonely. Most of my life have been unwell from stress but then I realised it was never my stress it's what others were dumping on me Peace at last and good health as well💕
Exactly.. for most of my life I've been trying to 'fit in" with what society deems normal... I ended up drinking most of the time to endure being around ppl.and having the anxiety, due to it.. now at 48.. I literally stopped doing that .. I go to work ( a job where I work alone,, thank goodness) and on my days off spend my time alone with my cats or see my mother or my daughter.. I don't socialize on any level other than that, and I no longer drink . Once I stopped trying to be so called "normal "and stopped fighting who I really was, I noticed I finally felt content.. no more pressure.. I'm a hermit and happy about it
@@user-cd6xp5lk4c I know where you are coming from it's like I had to put on a mask to go into a work place and a big sigh of relief when I could just be me at home. I loved lockdown was fantastic could go about my business with much less people around 🤣🤣
My mantra "Alone in a crowd". I'm 61 and find people very tiring and sometimes exasperating. I prefer solitude and activities that I can do alone. The world and it's inhabitants have become chaotic. I prefer peace and quiet
Love your name, Irene. I can relate. People exhaust me, but I force myself to get out there. I will always be the same person that I am today if I don't read new books or meet new people. Comfort is being the same. Which I push myself not to be too comfortable. Yes, the world can be chaotic.
I have just come across your channel on New Year's Eve, alone. I find the festive season really challenging and like you, when I'm wobbly I stay in bed. As time moves on though I find I have conflicting feelings - I enjoy my own space too much to share it but I feel very lonely. I stay in bed if I'm feeling down but then feel wretched for wasting time. I want to have adventures but can't find the motivation and too overwhelmed to get a trip organised. Anyway, I really enjoyed your video which kept me company. Here's to a happy and healthy 2023 🙏
I just discovered her as well, early New years morning. I'm in the U.S, and I am alone. My parents are gone, as well as my cats, and while I can be alone, I also used to have more support, and I got out more (aside from work) and prior to Covid. This channel was a nice surprise! I wish you a Happy New Year! 🎉
Can we just clarify - there’s people who are okay being alone but there’s people who are tortured because they CANNOT connect to others. Very different.
This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my RUclips channel 10 months ago about self development. Now I have 1,936 subs and > 2k hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I could haven’t learned without getting started in the 1st place.
@@artsy897 Whoever you are, I don't know you personally but I can say that you're one of the non-judgmental and open-minded people who is not fixated on tangible or external factors in order to learn from someone like me. Just because someone doesn't have a piece of paper as a credential, doesn't mean that person is not entitled to share personal experiences with the hope & intention to inspire others. Keep up with whatever it is that you're doing to improve mankind or improving your life even to a slight degree each day. This is just one part of a bigger puzzle for creating my RUclips channel about holistic health. I literally could have died back when I was 14 years old due to major depression but here I am right now replying to you, a RUclipsr, who's full of fulfillment and dedication to help others to be a better version of themselves. I ain't better than anyone else but my old self. That's all that really makes this RUclips thing more meaningful and enjoyable. Thanks so much for your support! I am hoping that you can join me with this endless personal development journey! :)
I feel this way about romantic relationships. Our culture is extremely centered around that, even more for women. It's so common to hear my girl friends or just acquaintances worrying about not having a partner or just going from one relationship to another (do they wait to leave their horrible relationships until they have another one available?). At 30 I've just come to accept that I not only don't care about being in a romantic relationship, but also that I don't want to at the moment, as I have a lot about myself I need to figure out first. I think adding a relationship to that would only bring more trouble for me but for the other person, too.
@@minteabee oof I identify so much with everything you said! I also dated very little - had only one boyfriend when I was 19 and dated another guy for some time before the pandemic. That last experience was pretty bad, and made me realize that I want to learn to be better with myself so that I can find someone that is good with me, too.
@sofiipote7 MY experience with men has been that they flirt with other women & they treat/treated them better than they did me. I'm not perfect, but I dont deserve that kind of treatment. There have been times that I've wished that I would have never dated & gotten married. It would have saved myself alot of heartache
I became single and decided to go to the cinema alone.. when I entered the theater it was empty and so I sat down at almost the back row right invthe middle and thought wow cool I'm going to have the whole theater to myself.. but eventually a couple came in and sat next to me then another couple came and sat on the otherside of me.. and I thought.. ahhh the universe does not want me to be alone.. and the five of us laughed our way through the movie together.....
I have no friends either and this video just touched my soul. I am always alone and it’s difficult and I cry tremendously so this video made me feel less alone 🖤
I can relate. I only had a small amount of friends when I was younger, as I turned older there were fewer real friends. Now 54, I have none I speak to on a regular basis. I’m married, but almost always alone even if he was here.
@@Saints4life I’m so sorry that you are still alone even in marriage. Well atleast there’s RUclips so we can share videos like this and have online communities so loners don’t have to feel so alone 🖤
I'm so sorry, Lexi. Do you work from home as well? I know many of us do now. I personally love it but I have my husband and 4 cats so I feel social despite not having left the house for over a year, lol. But I feel for you. Where are you in the world?
Thank you for this post, it makes me feel like I am not alone. I don't seem to have any "real" friends anymore. I had close friends in my younger years, but in my thirties I moved across the country two times and lost touch. Other than work colleagues I have only made one friend in my entire thirties, forties, and fifties. I have lost touch with that friend now as well. I feel a pressure from society to have friends, but honestly I have always enjoyed being on my own. I have a husband but no children, and I do worry that I will one day be a lonely old lady, but for now I am content and my husband is company enough for me. I don't expect anyone to see this comment, it just feels good getting it out.
Thank you for giving so many of us permission to admit that we don't always choose to be surrounded by lots of people. I am happy to do all the things that solitude allows - walks, artwork, reading and writing. It took me a long time to grow into who I am without criticizing myself for who I am not. There are people who thrive best with lots of others around and those of us who do not. The world needs both kinds. Merry Christmas to you and to James. (P.S. - forgetfulness is definitely a symptom of Menopause!)
I just love you to bits. I’m 63 and have never had a BFF either. I really enjoy being alone, so it is strange when I begin to feel lonely. Thank goodness i have someone like you to visit with my cozy coffee.
I'm a 69 year old photographer, loner, who finally has learned to embrace my solitude. I was a loner as a child and couldn't understand why I didn't make friends. I was an observer most of my life and enjoyed just watching the world. I had two failed marriages with nice women who nonetheless wanted to fix me. After the second divorce (amicable), I discovered the profound relief in being in my own company. I photograph and design/publish books of my work and read from my library of books, staying up late if I wish, sleeping in if I wish. I lead a simple yet satisfying life on a very modest income. My surroundings are beautiful and my life is serene. All this to say, I enjoyed your video and can identify with much of what you had to say. Greetings from Eastern Washington in the Pacific Northwest.🏞️
I’m 53 and other than my wife I have no friends but I’m happy in my own little world. I have Asperger’s and have never really been able to interact on a social level with others which led me to being bullied when I was a child. Even though I have gotten better at interacting with people socially I still don’t like interacting with more than a couple of people at once and have become happy and content with my own little world.
Your video just popped up. How lovely you are. Everything you said l can relate to. I'm 72 and have been on my own for the first time in my life. There are ups and downs about it, just like life. I take each day as it comes. Meeting you has made this a good day😊
@eRachaelle Deamato I just turned 73 and I lost my mate of 52 years 2.5 years ago! I do still have family however I don’t see them Often--plus my two best friends died also! While the loneliness can be daunting--I’m Trying not to be undone by it!
For so long I felt bad about myself because I did not have any friends. Then one day I stopped blaming myself and feeling bad about not being the person I think I am supposed to be and came to understand that not only am I the product of my circumstances but I also find most people uninteresting or unenjoyable to be around and prefer what is going on inside my head. I think this is because I am a creative person and because of the isolation I grew up in. By the way, your art is beautiful and I'm glad to hear about another person out there living in aloneness.
Where We Are Is Right Where We Are Supposed To Be..I am also in my 50s and similar situation..I feel at peace..my environment has changed from a social butterfly to a homebody. It’s challenging..because it’s different..My two dogs are literally my best friends..I take them for hikes and enjoy their company ..I am enjoying the time of my life..I appreciate every day I’m alive..I love nature..now I really get to breath it in..living in the moments of my life with gratitude
I am 62 and i have found that solitude has allowed me to discover who i really am. I am able to recall the events in my life that have shaped the woman i am and it has also shown me the woman I long to be. This is a great video and i think you are a lovely human being. Blessings, peace, and love. ♥
Thanks for this relatable video! I didn't know I was "lonely" until people told me I was. That's when I felt awkward as an introvert. Until that point, I was perfectly happy with my few confidants. A few months ago, I was like "Screw this." I went back to my happy place. Forget what society says. I'll just be happy doing me! I don't want social norms to dictate my life. I may be classified as "socially awkward" but at least I'm happy! 😀 Happiness looks differently to everyone! 😊❤😇🎊
I completely relate to this. I lost my husband 12 1/2 years ago. It was totally unexpected as he'd just turned 54. I was the same age at the time. I stopped creating art completely. I couldn't look at our photographs because I would dissolve into tears. Since then "our" friends peeled away one by one, so now I've had to remake new ones. I'm back to creating, albeit with needle and thread rather than paper arts.
Oh my goodness, this post breaks my heart. It makes me wish I could help, maybe be an email pen pal! I've had a few of those and absolutely adore them. What part of the world are you in?
Thank you for your kind reply. I have found the loneliness too much to bear many times, so I guess I drowned in it. But I'm still here. And I'll make myself get better.
Thank you for making this video, Wendy. I feel extremely lonely in life too right now. I am in my mid 30s. I have a few friends, but they aren't people I get the chance to meet up with regularly, and Covid cut my social circle too. I am single and I have no brothers or sisters, therefore I find it hard to meet new people through others as my circle is so small. I have tried to get out and about a bit more this last year, but it hasn't resulted in any real friendships. I feel so sad; I think I am a pleasant and kind person; I find people are always very nice to me in life in general - for example, people smile at me in the street, interact in shops, and at work I think I am well liked too. But nobody other than me knows the pain of the loneliness I feel inside. I dread the future too, which seems such a shame for someone who isn't all that old. Anyway, I don't really know why I am writing this other than just to say that I hope the new year can bring happiness for all those who are currently lonely (or dealing with any other sadness in life).
yes, I've been putting it together for a whiile as it's a sensitive one... xx Loneliness is a real thing and feels very painful, I know. I would suggest a creative class perhaps but only if you feel excited to do it and the timings feel right. And, until your kindred spirits appear, may you find some company online, we are here... xxx softest hugs xxxxxx and thank you for sharing xxxxx
I want you to know Pinkapplerose you are not alone, I am thinking of you, as I too am alone, although I do have my rescue greyhound Madge, and I only go out of the house to walk her. I am 66 years young, so much older than you, but know what it is like to be alone. All of us on here understand each other I feel, and we can help each other feel valued, and needed in this life. I hope that you can find hope, and joy, in watching the wonderful Wendy. Love and hugs, from Devon, England. xxx
You sound like such a kind person I hope life brings you all the blessings and leaves them at your front door all your hearts desires your own company is also a blessing mother nature is a blessing and dear friend a trip to a coffee shop all by yourself is also a blessing 🙌 💖
@@theunexpectedgypsy Thank you. Yes, that is a good idea. I am going to try to get back into art this year. If it helps me find new friends that will be perfect, but if not, at least I will have the pleasure which comes from being creative. Merry Christmas to you and James x
I feel insulted by how I’m treated anymore. A young woman-26 year old, mentioned that people over 50 should be put down (die) bc they have lived their life and need to make room for the rest of us. I was really shocked 😮. I’m 52 this year. And yes, I live alone, and have lived this way for sometime. It’s hard to make any friends at my age; everyone seems to have their lives well put together and no room for anyone else
Wow I am 26 and I am really shocked an feel ashamed for someone my age saying that.. how arrogant..Life shouldn't be over yet. Please enjoy your life, make memories - live hard.
Scrub a layer off in a sea salt bath. That toxic girl, did she watch 'Solyvent Green', an old sci-fi movie? Aged-out people are put to sleep, then turned into food. So, in response to herrr, '' Eat Me", is very generous.
I can so relate to this. We do drift apart from our friends and as we get older and we don't adapt well to accommodate new friends, the way we did in our youth. Maturity gives us the gift of enjoying our own company and not having to rely on a group of friends to assure our identity.
I remember when I was a kid, I went trough this train of thoughts: "I don't have friends. People think I'm lonely and I should try making some. But why it feels like the least thing I wanted to do? And why I'm feeling so unhappy?" And I felt really bad about it, since people perceived me as "the poor one". But eventually I realized that I wasn't feeling bad because I was lonely, but because the people's perceptions of me hurt me. Since that realization, I've never regretted my time alone. Now I'm in my thirties, never been to a relationship, I have my wonderful pets, and I totally agree with Tesla that the best ideas are born when you're alone. I feel like when I'm around people, things get so noisy and hectic that I even lose the connection with myself. Feels like I don't even have time to think. But when I'm back being alone, it feels like such an peace of mind, like anything was possible. Thank you for this video.
A wonderful realisation indeed thanks so much for sharing. I wonder as well whether you are interested in human design which might help support you further. It certainly has me. And just ignore me if you’re not into it✨✨✨
I'm just the same. I never felt the need for friends after high school. Maybe a couple of co-workers that I would go out to lunch with or do play dates with our kids, but no close confidante. My daughter says I'm depressed because I don't want to do friend/group activities, and she worries about me. But I'm perfectly content with my animals, books, and movies. I'm an INFJ personality type with strong empathic skills, and I'm also on the autism spectrum. So normal socialization and being around others exhaust me because I get overloaded with the emotions I soak up. But yeah, now that I'm in my 50s, my cat is my best friend, super smart and intuitive. She's a Maine Coon cat and they love to have conversations with their person. I really feel like I'm not living alone, and I have to remind myself that it's not my daughter or my mom living with me and who I'm talking with about things, it's my cat 'Tildy'. But, yeah. I'm in my 50s and am cherishing my "alone time."" And yes, I do give myself permission to stay home, read or watch films, or just snuggle in bed with Tildy. My favorite place to be at home is also bed.
People exhaust me too. I’ve always been in fight or flight from five years old. Now 65, retired and live with three cats in a house in Southern California. Have a few sisters I’m comfy with. Life is great.
@Andymoto It stands for a person's core personality traits. So, I'm introverted, intuitive, feeling, and judging. There are a whole list of them. If you are interested in knowing what your traits are, take the Meyers-Briggs personality test online. It's really helpful and interesting. I finally have answers now about why I am the way I am. I don't feel like an anomaly or so weird anymore.
@Andymoto, no idea why people need BS like the Myers-Briggs type indicator…it is complete pseudoscientific hogwash. You can check the info about it on Wikipedia
@spectatrix This person only asked what it was. They didn't say they believed it to be a valid determination of someone's identity. Why do you have to be so negative and dismissive of someone else's beliefs? I found the Meyers-Briggs test helpful in understanding parts of my psyche and emotional makeup that I had never understood before, and because I'm on the autism spectrum, it helped to clarify certain "grey areas" of my personslity which I had never understood before.The Meyer's-Briggs personality test is an accepted psychiatric tool used to determine a person's core personality traits. It sounds like you are dismissive of the psychiatric field in general and believe it all to be "hogwash." Be respectful of other's opinions.
My husband died last year and I discovered that aloneness is definitely very different than being lonely. I also discovered who my true friends were... there is only one friend (very tried and true) who continues to check up on me & includes me in various activities. When I became a widow, my whole social life changed. There are things I really miss socially but I have also enjoyed my alone time; the opportunity to just please myself. I adore your videos. They are inspiring and help me indulge in self care without feeling guilty.
Wow, your comment about feeling lonely in a crowded room. That hit me. I never feel lonely when I'm alone. But I almost always feel lonely in a crowded room. So insightful. Thank you for this video!
I’ve been a loner all my life, mostly because I feel like an alien; I’ve had friends here and there but when I met my so-called ‘soulmate’ and then lost her 7 years later, I hit rock bottom. The feeling of utter loneliness was so so dark, I still have nightmares about it. I’m ok now but I miss my ex very much, she was my best friend, she were truly 2 pieces of a puzzle. I don’t have the energy or courage to seek relationships but thankfully I’ve realized the company of animals is simply the best ❤
It sounds like you might still like to share your life with a like soul and Yr animals. Never say never. There are others out there who hv social anxiety or feeling of being an alien.
This could be me. I've always felt on the outside somehow, one or two friends but I'm somewhat socially awkward, until I met the love of my life, my soulmate and best friend 19 years ago, who really 'got' me and I could be my truest self, if that makes sense. But i sadly lost him to cancer 7 years ago. I still feel totally lost and the confidence he gave me has gone. Thank goodness for my beautiful dog, she keeps me going. Bless you from a kindred spirit 🙏
Im also an alien..never felt like i fit in anywhere...but my love for animals keeps me going..really sorry to hear you lost your soul mate..im 52 and still havent found mine..its so hard to meet someone when you dont like people..i hope the new year brings you a happy new chapter to your life..im here if you ever need to chat 🦋
I'm in my early 50's. I've gone through an awakening in my late 40's and I can now count on less than one hand the # of friends that I have. It's good to know, I'm not alone. With this video alone I've subscribed and will start binge watching your journey. Sending you peace, love & light. Your energy is soft and gentle, I love that.
I woke up this morning with this video in my home feed. Like my guardian angels said "watch this absolutely lovely woman". Thank you for your message. I'm 51 and you're insight has made me feel so much better! Sending my thanks across the oceans!!!
What a gift to find you today! Just spent Christmas alone AGAIN and while at 50 myself, I made great strides in the friendship dept this year, the holidays are challenging because it always feels like you are the only one who doesn’t have somewhere to be surrounded by family and friends!!
Omg, I think this in my head, verbatim, never had the courage to speak or. 🫂 I even feel guilty for for being sad, if I'm invited to friends, like I'm ruining their good time by being alone. Unintended. That's how I've think of myself. I don't belong anywhere. But I know the loved ones I've lost would be so broken to hear that, so I try to be grateful and be a reason for someone's smile each day. That makes me feel like I have a tiny purpose. I belong even just as a fleeting smile on a strangers lips. So please, smile. You are NOT alone. I'm right here too.🙂
I thought it was just me. Glad to hear I’m not the only one. I’m not very social either. I’ve lost a lot of friends, but mostly from betrayal and some from just growing apart over the years. I’m 50 now and I don’t have a best friend either. Most people think it’s strange. But it’s nice to know. This is normal for some. 😊
yup! it's definitely a comlex web and not alwasy easy to see clearly or navigate.... happy 60's and may you find your kindred souls soon!! xxxxxxxx in the meantime, we are all here!!!!
My birthday is tomorrow, Christmas Eve. Probably spending it alone. Happy this video appeared when I needed it. Pretty much, I do a lot of stuff alone. It hurts sometimes . I'm 67, just retired and burned out a bit, but taking time to find myself again. And, yes, I do hide out in my bed sonetimes when I feel the need. Thanks for sharing this heavy stuff. Love your videos.
Wendy you have a whole community that loves you. I call your videos my therapy. I'm also in my 50's and wow what an interesting journey this is. I'm an extreme introvert and it's ok. I have family and my little dog that I couldn't live without. I wish we were neighbors because I know we would have loads to talk about over tea. 😊 Stay well and Happy Holidays to all. 💜
awww that's wonderful thank you sooo much! xxx Yes! An interesting journey indeed.... bumpy and fabulous!!! Doogggggieeeeee!!! I shall raise my teacup to you and happy holidays Amy xxxx
Yes here in Michigan/ Indiana boarder we are buried in snow so Itea is my drink of choice. Was supposed to go to Northern Michigan for the Christmas holiday but stuck in Indiana. Learning acceptance but pretty bummed out about it. I don't always comment but I never miss a video. 💜❄️
You have some amazing landscapes around you! I do appreciate the connection to artists online. I think a lot of us feel more socially awkward as we get older when it comes to making new friends. It makes our old, comfortable friends even more valuable.
I’m 58 and have finally realized that the only reason that I felt lonely was because society drills it into our heads that being alone is bad … Everything I enjoy are solitary pursuits. I do my own thing and feel more peace than I ever have in my life by leaning into my hermit like tendencies.
❤❤❤ I truly understand your feelings
Me, too! Is that "weird"?
@@roseyc.5846 According to society, it’s “weird.” I think these social norms were created by extroverts who can’t relate to introverts. 🤔
I completely agree with you! It’s funny how people are like, “We’re all different.” But in real life, they think we should all be the same. It makes no sense at all. 🤷🏽♀️
There's a difference between being lonely and alone.
Those who feel despair, despondent, alone, lonely, do you Never think of God and JESUS?! God does not abandon us. We abandon God ✝️ ☯️
I've gradually distanced myself from "friends" who are toxic. I'd rather be alone than with fake people😊
Now. This is the truth!
Indeed, so truthful 👋❤️❤️❤️
Agree!!!!!❤
Being quirky and feeling like a misfit, or being sensitive to people or other things, can be a sign of autism. Being talkative can be a sign of ADHD. Being quirky and talkative can be a sign of having both.
@@JannekeVisser-h8cMy eyesight maybe failing as I age but my ability to see through people has improved!
Some of us on the Blick team who are "of a certain age" really connected with this. This channel helps so many artists feel less lonely, and gives artists permission to love what they do, and do what they love. We have so much respect for artists at any stage in the journey, but there's something special about those who stubbornly persevere and sacrifice long enough to make their best work. We're excited for the possibilities ahead, and can't wait to see what The Unexpected Gypsy has in store for 2023!
yes, indeed Blick us creative and sensitives souls do need each other for sure. Happy holidays to you! xxx
Speaking of appreciation, the day I found your channel felt like finding a treasure! The SITUATION hit at some of my lowest wellness levels combined with reluctance to go to health care providers offices! At times confusion and frustration sucked joy out of my creative process’s! There you were dealing with similar issues, other RUclipsrs ignored or dismissed what was happening! You struggled and found possibilities that dealt with the bumpy ride! Many days the only bright light was having cup of something warm and visiting you and James! Here is my heartfelt thankfulness and blessings for holiday joy!
Wendy, your vlogs always make me feel like I’m catching up with an old friend❤like a nice hug, a giggle, a heart to heart chat over cozy warm cuppa tea. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and for being so relatable and singing “been around the world 😂” That took me back😅 I’ve been thinking a lot about how I love my alone time and yet sometimes feel like I might be missing out on a bigger more exciting social life. However, I’m always busy with family and business stuff and creating art for my business that I feel like I haven’t the space in my schedule to run off to meet a friend for coffee. I definitely feel it’s important, but also feel that pacing myself and giving myself space to breathe and think and rest is of great importance as well❤ I wish you and your family and warm and cozy Christmas 🎄 take care!
Amen
❤
I'm 70 with no friends, and the friends I've had in the past were nothing but backstabbing troublemakers. I get along better with strangers
Being alone is a luxury. It's the only way to be introspective, know yourself, study, read, learn and reflect . Other people drain one's energy, attention and time.
I never heard it put that way...but I like it. Being alone is a luxury.👍
You must be an introvert 😊 me too!
I agree I had time to read and learn, fish, learn new crafts learn to play guitar
As long as being alone do not become feeling lonely, i totally agree. I love being alone too, but i know i could not stand to be without any human contact for days or weeks ^^'
Exactly...
You're not alone, you have a person.
I'm 35 in a week, i have no friends or family..it's very lonely at times, especially the holidays.
It’s not easy is it.xx
Sending you love
Not just you queen it's our societies now many feel lonely.
Oh, wow! Even with people around, l feel lonely. Last night, l listened to someone gripe and whine...and l felt lonely. No connection. Because of my relationship, though, with my heavenly Father, l feel soothed.
My mom always said if you find one true friend in this life youve done well. It seems that you have a good friend.
It took me 38 years to find mineas of 20 mins tonight we have been together 14 years ago.
You say you have no friends but you have a partner, that is a friend. Some of us have no one.
Totally agree. Looks like her partner is his best friend.
Lovely video to find. I'm 59 and also mostly without friends. There are excoworkers but that's about it. This past Thanksgiving, instead of spending a stressful day with bitter angry relatives, I went rock hunting by myself on my favorite beach. It may have been my best Thanksgiving ever!
I know what you mean, this past thanksgiving instead of seeing toxic family members I stayed home reading one of my favorite series of books. Best decision I ever made. My shoulders were light with no stress!
I love to paint and I often questioned why I was never surrounded by a lot of women. But find it a blessing as I got into my late 50's. The longer you spend alone, you become your own best friend, not in need of validation or people to feel sorry for you. It's peaceful and there is no gossip or back stabbing, Better off I say!
My husband of 35 yrs passed away Nov 2021. He and I were only 54 yrs old. I miss him so much so now I am alone. He was my best friend. But I don't enjoy being around a lot of people. Now that he is gone I prefer the solitude. I am not lonely for people just lonesome for the love of my life.
I'm so sorry for your loss!
So many expect me to have a social network but it has never worked out for me. I am hoping I will not mind solitude as well if I lose my partner who is my sould partner. I am sorry for your loss and my heart goes out to you.💔
For 50 you retain a childlike aura that I love and wish to preserve within myself.
One time I had an ex tell me to "act my age" at the grocery store, needless to say I broke up with him.
Solitude is my safe place
I've heard that all of my life! I'm glad you didn't let him kill off that part if you...better to be alone, with your heart/ spirit still in tact!❤✌❤
I thought the same thing too.
Thank you Wendy! I am so happy I found you after I lost my husband to Covid. I can’t believe I am beginning my third year without him. This time of year is hard because I lost him December 14th the day before our anniversary. I am learning to embrace my loneliness and be my own best friend. ❤
Wow, it's very surreal how time flies Monica, xxx and I send the softest hugs for your December, being our own best friends is such a gift but I also appreciate that navigating loss requries lots of softness. Big loves xxxx
Hugs ❤❤❤
Thinking of you this Christmas 🎄🙏✨💚💎✨💫🎄
you are in my heart, your partner would want you to be happy this time of year! cheers to you!
Love light and blessings to you 🙏
I’m 55 and truly alone, no man, no kids, estranged from my parents and brother. I think people in couples get insular in their couple and it’s a big reason a lot of people don’t have any friends and that friendship has broken down in society in general. At least you have a partner, it’s a whole other level when you’re truly alone, not the same situation. I have literally no one to call on if there’s an emergency or other problem.
Exactly what i was thinking... At least she has her husband... That means you always have someone to talk to. Big difference.
I'm in your age group and in a somewhat similar situation. I'm curious if you're enjoying your solitude, or if you long for a friend but just can't find one that works. I've come to think that friendship is more about convenience and methods of communication--it's all about if you like texting or phoning or meeting in person for tea or meeting in a gym or on a certain walking trail or at a group meeting. It's more about that than "clicking". Maybe I'm wrong. I'm curious what you think...
but i hear you about couples--most halves of a couple are pretty satisfied..
True, I agree that couples can do that and know I am v blessed to have James. Life before we were together was v different so I know how you feel. I am estranged from half my siblings too so can empathise greatly.
Yes, this is a good point, and I think it’s important to click and just feel good in someone’s energy. You know, so we don’t feel drained afterwards…. It’s hard to find that kind of compatible company in my experience and I have always longed for it. Hope that helps. 🌷🌷🌺
I’m in my 60’s with no friends and 1 adult child (estranged)
It taught me to love my own company
I really enjoyed this video, thank you!
❤
I love being alone but I never feel lonely. I feel interrupted by other people’s company
Same!
I know this feeling❤
People are disappointing
I recommend a dog
dogs are the greatest friend you will ever have
Your never ever lonely with a dog
They love you with all your flaws
They feel your emotions
They heal you
Xxxxxxxxx ❤❤😊
*I love my solitude. I crave it. I am alone by choice. I was invited to a party the other*
*night and I went. Small talk with strangers that I will never see again. I came home*
*after a couple of hours and thought...."I'm NOT missing out on anything!*
*I am 75 and have 3 dogs and 2 cats. I am good to go! And I don't fear death. I've*
*had a wonderful life. I couldn't have designed it any better. Thanks God!* 💖💫
Hi Trudy. Make sure your pets have a home should you pass away and that someone knows to help them.
@@earnold1896 *Oh absolutely! I have it all*
*covered E. They are all older pets.*
*So hopefully I will outlive them.* 💖
*But if something does happen to me*
*I do have someone for them. Thank You.*
@lucyrane1318 That's awful, because you are the smart one. I lost my beautiful sister to her 2nd Pfizer jab - she had a heart attack and was ill for 4 days after the vax and passed on the 5th. People can be so judgmental and I find that it is better to be alone than constantly judged because they perceive me to be different.
@lucyrane1318 I'm so sorry to hear that, Lucy. I totally agree with everything you have said. It felt like we were all living in an alternative universe during covid. They powers that be took total control over us and it was beginning to get very creepy. My sister lived in Dubai and my other sister and I watched a recording of our other sisters funeral. It has taken me two years to get slightly back on track with my life. But I'm glad that you did not take the vax because it was evil how they lied to control us all. I saw a video of Austrians being interviewed regarding denying those without the vax entry to various places and it chilled me to the bone. However, staying positive and not allowing people to steal our joy is definitely the way to go. Have a lovely week.🌻
@lucyrane1318 Lucy I agree with what you are saying and it is frightening. We don't have any freedom and once someone is running a country they seem to be able to get away with whatever suits their agenda. I was sleep walking through life until lockdown. I began to read online news daily and it painted a very depressing picture. Sadly, I don't believe it will improve and I am glad that I am not a young woman any more, because it is not the world I grew up in. I will watch the videos you mention and thank you for chatting with me today, it's been very interesting and informative. I only hope that those with evil at the top of the ladder will be stopped before things get even worse. Take care of yourself. Love from chilly Scotland.
I’m 60 and have been totally alone & celibate 98% of entire adult life. Yes it was painful for a host of horrific reasons, but in later years (esp the last 20-some), my solitude as a woman alone is quite blessed.
I think women come into their own in their mid forties plus
@@celticwarrior777 Totally agree
Though I'm married but never felt my husband as my nearest one. I'm 60 and feel neglected for so many years.
I was partnered a few times between 20 and 40, but to be quite honest, life was less complicated being single. Everything I have is mine and I am fulfilled mostly. Do miss a companion, but one can’t settle for 2nd best. If it doesn’t make be happy it is a no goer! I’m in my late 50’s.
@@Carte-Blanche-NZ just find things you like to do & you will find others to visit with while doing them. Life is so much simpler alone for so many people, and yes even financial independence from others is a huge plus. Also it’s virtually impossible after a lifetime alone, to even think of “being” with someone-- other than maybe sharing a space with a best friend of 20-30-plus years-- who’s also lived alone entire life--and even then, you need separate wings of building/ living rooms/ etc etc…. Maybe share a dining room. 😅people who live alone like their own company and privacy very much.
A few of the comments have brought this point up: you might want to change the title of this video. You have a partner therefore you are not alone. Alone is not having anyone to be there in the flesh on a consistent basis. Whether it’s a friend, partner, children, sibling etc.
So that being said as sweet as your video is remember that a lot of the people that will check out your video are here because THEY are completely alone.
❤
Thank you! 💛. I am 54 year old Andrea from Buenos Aires, Argentina. From Scottish ancestry.
I think the end of the year is an internal feeling.
I am a loner myself. Married for 26 years. 2 beautiful grown-up daughters. School secondary teacher. Retired now.
I have felt unfit many times.
I've got extended family and a couple of friends. Yet, I feel distant in terms of interests, view of life, and the lot. Of course we can share "mates" together and have a good time, all the same. I dont follow the norm, just because.
Einstein's quite, great!
Greetings and ❤️ to you all! From 🇦🇷😉💖
*quote
I am my best company and after walking a terminal cancer journey alone, I realized I am never alone. Cured in July 2021, I am still my best company❤
you rock!
😘
❤❤❤❤
🥹💙
I'm the same way. I'm a loner by nature, and the older I get, the more I don't mind being alone. My RUclips channel is one way to connect with the outside world, because I don't feel comfortable in large crowds. It's so comforting to find someone like you who seems to understand me. God bless.
I’m in my 60s and while my husband is my friend, I don’t have any others ( just acquaintances, who I barely spend any time with!) and I love it! Our society tells you that you will wither and become depressed without other people, but for me, I have found it reversed…when I had a load of friends, I always felt so anxious and drained…I believe my true nature is more hermit like, and it wasn’t until I embraced this part of myself that I really found inner peace and haven’t looked back! While I don’t recommend this lifestyle for everyone ( of course not😄) I do feel getting to know how I best function has really helped me😊❤ oh and… thank you for another year of wonderful content… you are a special being and I appreciate you sharing your life!❄️❣️👏🏽✨
I like the way you put that and I agree so strongly that many of us are healthier mentally when we limit our social lives - I do lots of art work, work with people in an intense way and really need my peace and quiet time!
I resonate with your comment. I realized this around the time i turned 30. I feel most at peace just walking around in nature alone. It’s so soothing.
Same. I have my hubby but other then that it's just me💙
For someone in her 70s she has a lot of energy.
Me too- my story at 55! ❤
Thank you so much for this video Wendy. I'm also in my 50's with no human friends. My only friends are trees, they never judge you for being a bit weird. Apprecicate your videos, they have meant a lot, they are therapy. Wish you and James all the best ❤
blessings to you and your trees xxxxxxxxxxx
And you never think of God?
@@lizziesangi1602 The trees and all of Nature is God ☺️God isn’t separate from Nature and that is why there’s true healing and peace when walking amongst the trees, along the rivers and through the meadows of Nature. God is never separate from us as well…we are God…we are the children of God…lil sparkles of light ✨💖 Many blessings to you 🙏
My only friends are my online Telegram channel tribe.i dont miss humans. Most are despicable.I prefer the company of pets and nature ❤️🇦🇺🙏
Same here and I find such comfort being with the trees. They are my true earth family 💗
I realize that I'm always been a loner. But you know what, since turning 55 , I had finally learned to love who I truly am.
Im 49 and im still discovering myself.
@@peterpiper5300 I think we are meant to discover and learn about ourselves. I will always be a life long learner.
It’s getting to the point where I read “I have no friends” and my brain automatically does the math and it translates to: “I’m mentally stable and emotionally intelligent and independent and free of social drama.” 👍🏽 there’s millions of us out here.
☺️👍🏻💛
I'm in my twenties. I don't have friends, and I've never been happier. I'm a total introvert, and when I used to have friends, I was so stressed, overwhelmed, and uncomfortable. I have my partner, the love of my life, but he is a truck driver, so he isn't home often. I don't mind that, though. Our time together is precious to me, but time spent in my own company is also remarkable.
I'm disabled and bedbound and in the last 4 years I've realized that it is an able-bodied world full of ableism. I have no friends and I spend all my time being creative with writing and art making and I really love being alone. I also have my own RUclips channel which keeps me busy. I think society teaches us its wrong to be alone and bad to be lonely, but we wouldn't appreciate the together time if we didn't have the alone time. Thanks for this video!
My mother is recently bed-bound and I know she’s severely depressed from it. but she’s recently started doing crafty journal pages, and for two hours a day she doesn’t think about the pain. Anyway, subscribed, and I wish you all the happiness
@@GraceCreatesLivingSpace all the best to your mom
I'm 61, and I have always kept my inner circle pretty small. My husband passed in 2019. I have two kids (adults now) and a wonderful dog. I am focused on my art, and I do better art work in the quiet. I have fewer people around me due to illness and death. Ultimately, I try to bloom where I'm planted, I don't have the energy to develop new relationships. Good blessings to everyone everywhere now and always!
How great that you have a loving dog, mine puts her chin on my knee if I cry, they are the sweetest.
I always embrace the trees as my friends. In childhood I had a very special relationship with the trees in the woods. They provided a safe place for me and often they sheltered me from the elements. I would listen to the voices of the trees in the wind and when it was silent I felt the trees give me peace and comfort away from a very harsh environment of physical, mental and emotional brutality that I endured for most of my childhood and adolescence. I didn't realize that I was a loner. I just knew how much love and peace the forest gave me and still today at 62 I long to be alone and with the trees where I find myself at peace. I am a tree hugger and nature lover. Plant a tree...plant it for the earth to provide the healing elements and purify the air we breathe.
When I was really young I actually loved being alone. Then society said it was not good so being as it portrayed being alone as painful. So I was really pushed to be social and when I was not social I thought of loneliness. The older I get the more relief I felt as I can I can choose more about the company I keep. I realised I don’t have to be surrounded by people to feel joy.
I craved alone time as a kid . I would stay at my Nanas to get it . I always had enough friends but needed alone time . That hasn’t changed 😊
Same 😊
Hello, My parents have passed away. My best frient passed away this past Friday. I never married nor had kids. I'm a complete introvert. I have no idea what lies ahead but the loneliness, depression, bad relationships, etc. have sucked the life from my spirit. I turn 50 years old this year and it feels as if life had no meaning. You're absolutely lucky to have a partner! Best to all us survivors!
Try n keep the light in your sights. Things do change n change again. You are on a difficult path but obviously you have been chosen fircit because you are strong. People or 'spirit ' cannot intervene on your chosen path but, as I have found they can lift you a bit when things get too much for us. Listen to the 'whispers' that chance meeting in a shop, the stranger that makes you laugh. It's all your unseen 'helpers' that are cheering you on. Nobody here is entirely happy because it is not our home. It is a journey. Happy travels love from an old English great grandmother x
@@marciahill7016 That sounds quite nice, thank you Marcia.
I hide away for months! I wanted to do this most of my,life but the rules of society would not allow it. Now I am alone, no family,or friends. I’m finally free from from the pressure to be “normal”. I might get in my car and go on a road trip. Just travel alone, sleeping in my car and preparing my own food. No eating from a fast food place. Love your video!
I somehow? stumbled on your video. I am a lady 58 living in the USA and I have no friends and don't socialize at all. I am also a artist, it gives me so much joy and so much fun, my home is a place of refuge and a place to enjoy the things I love. Many people don't understand introverts and think we are weird, even my ex husband, he's my ex for another reason. Anyway, I understand everything you are saying, I already knew there was people like me, I am not weird, I'm just different...and that's ok. Also, no social media at all. I'll watch it but I don't do anything on it. No facebook, none of it.
You're a wise lady
@@judycrisenbery2982 Thank you!!!
@@citygirlingraham you're welcome
Thank you for sharing. I am 48 and until a few weeks ago my company was 2 rescue dogs. My protector pup Pokie was killed by a police officers car. Leaving me and Stormy heartbroken at Christmas. Until this happened I was content and even joyful alone. Now I am faced with a great reality that I don't trust others enough to allow intimacy of any kind. I miss my parents greatly! I wish I could find a piece of my old extrovert self. I am so grateful I have seen this! Maybe I do still have a tribe.
😢 🌈 🐾
Better No Friends than false negative Friends ! Many people who are alone are not Antisocial its often the oppsite.
I'm 61 and I don't have friends either. My sister was my best friend and she passed away a few months ago. I do love my alone time, I always have, even as a child. But I sure do miss my sister!
I stopped trying to include others in my interests or engage anyone, against all therapeutic advice , I stopped making bids for connection, im weird, socially incorrect and tired of trying to pretend otherwise, im leaning into it instead, i bought a black sheep t shirt, one that says nerd, and weirdo 😊, and its ok, its walking in truth all the time, no more masking. im more accepting more evolving and transforming than changing or adapting myself to fit anywhere, radical self acceptance has brought me the peace, love, and the infinite space to be creative that i have always needed. So thank you for being here, to support me , my quirky english artsy internet friend that i didnt know i needed🎉
I'm glad I found this video. I'm turning 44 next month, no kids, never been married and have no friends either. I've learned to be content being alone and to focus on self improvement both physically and mentally. I've stopped using social media sites and dating sites and started focusing on dieting and exercise for a year now. Due to losing weight and getting back in shape, it has really helped me feel a lot better and happier. Fitness has brought me to that special place where I feel even more independent and don't have the need to have anyone in my life like friends or a spouse. Anyways, just wanted to share and hope it might help someone else.
Good for you! Love your attitude.
Honestly, relationships, spouses are very overrated. Remember just over half of marriages end in divorce and if you think you're lonely, it's a million times more painful when you go through divorce. You've got to find yourself all over again.
Or when you get trapped in a bad relationship, which is far easier to do than people think, you feel that sense of alone-but-not feeling and it's the WORST.
At least she has a loving partner. Lots of women have partners who don't share their interests. I see it around me all the time. But they stay because it's comfortable and they'd rather not face being alone.
I've always felt that people who can't be alone are just sad. The way they cling to a person or spouse is just... Yikes.
Most friends will bail if things get tough. Chronic illness will definitely reveal who true friends are. Otherwise they disappear.
Not sure if it's worth it.
Keep going on your personal health. It's everything.
@@edeneverly2573 Thanks for letting me know and be even more aware of how marriage and divorce can be like. I like how you got more into detail about divorce. But yes, people are too co dependent on other people nowadays because they're afraid of being alone. It's not a healthy way to live. Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I will definitely continue with my diet and fitness goals as we enter the new year. I love exercise. May you and everyone else reading this to have a lovely and happy 2023. 🙏🎉🎊🎈🥂
I do not believe however that we are meant to be completely alone
Well done on your fitness regime. So 👍 good.
Me too i cane offsicial media 7 years ago its just fake. Not real there's no real loyalty.
I have no friends too, i' m 53 and i' m very very happyyyyy!!!👍
I’ve always been a loner, I prefer no friends…..less complicated, no drama…..I like it.
I talk to others at work etc…..but I’ll never become more than acquaintances.
I’m VERY HAPPY
Same here. Extraverts don't understand this, but that's not our problem, right? ;)
Same. Love it
I am 74. I have been alone for most of my life.. but 4 years ago i met some one who i fell deeplyvin love with. I moved in with him 2 years after we first met...and then 4 months ago my cat and i moved out. It didnt work out. We should have met when we were much younger. I found myself loosing touch with who i really was and trying to become the person he expected me to be. Anyway... i too am an artist and finding my creativity has bounced back.. i love being able to let the day take its own course. And i have found myself again...the me i like. My cat seems quite happy which is a relief too. Maybe he just likes me to be happy too. Thank you for your channell. Us artists really are a special clan arnt we? Philosophers and fools who have a SPECIAL calling. Thank you. ♡
aww i hear you so well, sorry it didn't work out but also so happy you found yourself again. Your cat is a very wise soul indeed... xxx big loves
I think, no I KNOW we all tend to lose a large part of ourselves while trying to please others. This happened to me also, my art practice suffered because I was too busy trying to please my ex partners. It is a horrible sensation, especially when you know your true self is shrinking and your spirituality suffers too. If that makes sense? Something deep inside is hollow, empty. It was only when I returned to my art that my soul began to open up and heal.
While, I’m only 43.. I have teens… a hubby who works just as much as James, I also have no one but my hubby.. no friends. This vlog really touched my heart. 💜
I hear you.
And mine . It's just lovely to see normal lives and your relationship . Most importantly your honest life in your 50s rather than a curated life . Lol at your 'podcast seat'
Me too!!!!
Same here 43 with a man who works all the time and teens , feel very alone at times
Not even the other moms?
It’s not spending time alone that’s hard ..I enjoy that…it’s about having literally no one during the hard times…literally no one to come and pick you up from the hospital or visit you while your there…no one to spend a holiday with…no one to talk to when you’re 16 year old dog goes to Heaven 💔
I love being alone. I'll go to the cabin for weeks on end just to be alone. The older I get the less I want to take part in society. America has really changed and it's heartbreaking to watch it decline.
Being alone is different when it's a choice, I always need some of that, but sometimes the choice to NOT be alone isn't available, it can get lonely if your inner spirit is weak from the normal challenges of life.
As a twice divorced woman, I have lost two lots of so-called friends. But in my second life makeover, I found and joined a wonderful craft group, in my new town, and I can honestly say that I have never had real friends till now, in my 60’s and 70’s. It was quality craft that has got ma back into my art, and I am the happiest I have ever been in my life!
Love that, just wonderful, thanks so much for sharing 🫶🏼🫶🏼🙌🙌😚✨✨
True best friends are as rare as diamonds. 💎 💍
I'm Autistic and no friends, was forced to be social...now at 45 happy to isolate...I'm blessed to have 4 children and two grandchildren around me, all Autistic and so much fun...don't need anyone else.
But you are definitely my RUclips friend and bring me peace, joy, and creative inspiration...thank you🙏 Much love to you💐
I was happy alone for a long time, but I need to actively seek out interactions with people now (going towards 50). I have no partner and no parents anymore, no job right now, and live in a foreign country, I think all those contribute a lot to how I feel. I don't know anymore what/who I am and where I should go.
that sounds hell/ purgatory, sorry to read this
I had the same best friend from age 12. A decade ago, I booted her, my boyfriend, and all other friends, except for two. I speak only to those two friends and not often. I'm now 50.
I rarely leave the house, and I've never been happier. I went from being very outgoing, lots of friends, never home or sitting still "type", and always depressed, to the exact opposite. Today, I'd rather work in my garden, than do anything that involves people. And not a single day of depression in at least eight years.
Too many people aren't worth a ****, so we're not missing out on anything. Being alone will not ever mean being lonely.
PS. I'm also left handed.
Oh my, you sound like me. My husband is my best friend and my daughters. My mom was too but she is now not on this earth. I feel blessed. And I am just a few years older than you xo
I really appreciate this video because this is such a common occurrence, that people look around to identify real friends, but find that they aren’t real friends. They are mostly acquaintances. Being happy with that revelation is also a challenge because the social media has made loneliness seem like some sort of dreadful disease instead of the stark reality of many, many people. I appreciate your brave stance to be able to openly admit this.
The loneliest I've ever been was in a crowded room. And thank goodness for that, otherwise I would never have met myself. I spent so much of my life worrying about where I fit in and who I was supposed to be that it left me with so little time to just be who I am.
I honestly thought I had friends.... until I went through a heartbreaking crisis several years ago and friends couldn't be found. So I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and took care of ME. Recently, I faced months of chemo and surgery and radiation... and naturally those so-called friends beat down my door offering help... NOT. So, again I took care of ME. And those loser friends? They're in my rearview mirror.
"I may be alone but I am never lonely". Mental strength can overcome almost anything.
How do you get there though? From I am alone and lonely, to I am alone but not lonely?
@@lauraduffy9055 There is a saying "Having to be alone is the hardest thing, being able to be alone is the best thing." I'm alone most of the time, but don't feel lonely. I just love doing my hobbies or something that makes me happy. You need to find the small joys in the daily life, that only you can get.
The more I'm around other people the more I want to be alone.
Best to be alone than in bad company!I'm my best friend finally ...
Being alone has freed me. People drain me. So much talking. I'm, however, on a spiritual journey, so maybe that plays a role in my being alone. I've been a giver all my life. I have to be alone now so I learn how to give to myself.
@Kim1316 I 100% understand your comment!! That's exactly how I feel as well!
@@JustDiane71 I am a giver too. It would be so lovely for someone else to give back to me too, but I only have myself and my dog, so I suppose I must be like your jkim1316 and learn how to give to myself, and I am trying now at 66 years young - better late than never I suppose?! xxx
I, too, am a giver, but after becoming a widow last year, I have slowly learned how to move on in life and enjoy the new freedom I have. I have begun to embrace art ( a passion that I have always felt) without ridicule or condensending comments. Most of my family members do not understand my desire to create & the excitement it brings to my heart!!
I am privileged enough to share my life with a dog, Mook. She is a West Highland terrier and an excellent judge of character, she is also my best friend
I also don't have friends and am even choosy what family I allow into my life. I prefer my own company and have my hobbies and pets or just lose myself in a book or music. For the first time (im 68) I am contented and have peace, maybe alone but never lonely. Most of my life have been unwell from stress but then I realised it was never my stress it's what others were dumping on me Peace at last and good health as well💕
I would like to be your friend hi Linda 👍🙏
Exactly.. for most of my life I've been trying to 'fit in" with what society deems normal... I ended up drinking most of the time to endure being around ppl.and having the anxiety, due to it.. now at 48.. I literally stopped doing that .. I go to work ( a job where I work alone,, thank goodness) and on my days off spend my time alone with my cats or see my mother or my daughter.. I don't socialize on any level other than that, and I no longer drink . Once I stopped trying to be so called "normal "and stopped fighting who I really was, I noticed I finally felt content.. no more pressure.. I'm a hermit and happy about it
@@user-cd6xp5lk4c I know where you are coming from it's like I had to put on a mask to go into a work place and a big sigh of relief when I could just be me at home. I loved lockdown was fantastic could go about my business with much less people around 🤣🤣
So, so true!!
@@lindakirk3739 absolutely!
My mantra "Alone in a crowd". I'm 61 and find people very tiring and sometimes exasperating. I prefer solitude and activities that I can do alone. The world and it's inhabitants have become chaotic. I prefer peace and quiet
Love your name, Irene. I can relate. People exhaust me, but I force myself to get out there. I will always be the same person that I am today if I don't read new books or meet new people. Comfort is being the same. Which I push myself not to be too comfortable. Yes, the world can be chaotic.
I have just come across your channel on New Year's Eve, alone.
I find the festive season really challenging and like you, when I'm wobbly I stay in bed. As time moves on though I find I have conflicting feelings - I enjoy my own space too much to share it but I feel very lonely. I stay in bed if I'm feeling down but then feel wretched for wasting time. I want to have adventures but can't find the motivation and too overwhelmed to get a trip organised.
Anyway, I really enjoyed your video which kept me company.
Here's to a happy and healthy 2023 🙏
I just discovered her as well while I spend my New Year’s Eve alone. ((Hugs))
I just discovered her as well, early New years morning. I'm in the U.S, and I am alone. My parents are gone, as well as my cats, and while I can be alone, I also used to have more support, and I got out more (aside from work) and prior to Covid. This channel was a nice surprise! I wish you a Happy New Year! 🎉
Can we just clarify - there’s people who are okay being alone but there’s people who are tortured because they CANNOT connect to others. Very different.
This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my RUclips channel 10 months ago about self development. Now I have 1,936 subs and > 2k hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I could haven’t learned without getting started in the 1st place.
Bravo…that takes time and talent.
@@artsy897 Whoever you are, I don't know you personally but I can say that you're one of the non-judgmental and open-minded people who is not fixated on tangible or external factors in order to learn from someone like me. Just because someone doesn't have a piece of paper as a credential, doesn't mean that person is not entitled to share personal experiences with the hope & intention to inspire others. Keep up with whatever it is that you're doing to improve mankind or improving your life even to a slight degree each day. This is just one part of a bigger puzzle for creating my RUclips channel about holistic health. I literally could have died back when I was 14 years old due to major depression but here I am right now replying to you, a RUclipsr, who's full of fulfillment and dedication to help others to be a better version of themselves. I ain't better than anyone else but my old self. That's all that really makes this RUclips thing more meaningful and enjoyable. Thanks so much for your support! I am hoping that you can join me with this endless personal development journey! :)
I feel this way about romantic relationships. Our culture is extremely centered around that, even more for women. It's so common to hear my girl friends or just acquaintances worrying about not having a partner or just going from one relationship to another (do they wait to leave their horrible relationships until they have another one available?). At 30 I've just come to accept that I not only don't care about being in a romantic relationship, but also that I don't want to at the moment, as I have a lot about myself I need to figure out first. I think adding a relationship to that would only bring more trouble for me but for the other person, too.
@@minteabee oof I identify so much with everything you said! I also dated very little - had only one boyfriend when I was 19 and dated another guy for some time before the pandemic. That last experience was pretty bad, and made me realize that I want to learn to be better with myself so that I can find someone that is good with me, too.
@sofiipote7 MY experience with men has been that they flirt with other women & they treat/treated them better than they did me. I'm not perfect, but I dont deserve that kind of treatment. There have been times that I've wished that I would have never dated & gotten married. It would have saved myself alot of heartache
I became single and decided to go to the cinema alone.. when I entered the theater it was empty and so I sat down at almost the back row right invthe middle and thought wow cool I'm going to have the whole theater to myself.. but eventually a couple came in and sat next to me then another couple came and sat on the otherside of me.. and I thought.. ahhh the universe does not want me to be alone.. and the five of us laughed our way through the movie together.....
I have no friends either and this video just touched my soul.
I am always alone and it’s difficult and I cry tremendously so this video made me feel less alone 🖤
I can relate. I only had a small amount of friends when I was younger, as I turned older there were fewer real friends. Now 54, I have none I speak to on a regular basis.
I’m married, but almost always alone even if he was here.
@@Saints4life I’m so sorry that you are still alone even in marriage. Well atleast there’s RUclips so we can share videos like this and have online communities so loners don’t have to feel so alone 🖤
@@Agothygoth very true and so happy I found this channel. It just popped up. I took it as a sign to watch and I’m glad I did.
@@Saints4life yes this video was recommended and the title caught my attention. Glad I took a chance and watched it.
I'm so sorry, Lexi. Do you work from home as well? I know many of us do now. I personally love it but I have my husband and 4 cats so I feel social despite not having left the house for over a year, lol. But I feel for you. Where are you in the world?
Thank you for this post, it makes me feel like I am not alone. I don't seem to have any "real" friends anymore. I had close friends in my younger years, but in my thirties I moved across the country two times and lost touch. Other than work colleagues I have only made one friend in my entire thirties, forties, and fifties. I have lost touch with that friend now as well. I feel a pressure from society to have friends, but honestly I have always enjoyed being on my own. I have a husband but no children, and I do worry that I will one day be a lonely old lady, but for now I am content and my husband is company enough for me. I don't expect anyone to see this comment, it just feels good getting it out.
Thank you for giving so many of us permission to admit that we don't always choose to be surrounded by lots of people. I am happy to do all the things that solitude allows - walks, artwork, reading and writing. It took me a long time to grow into who I am without criticizing myself for who I am not. There are people who thrive best with lots of others around and those of us who do not. The world needs both kinds. Merry Christmas to you and to James. (P.S. - forgetfulness is definitely a symptom of Menopause!)
I love (and can resonate with) your wise words: It took me a long time to grow into who I am without criticizing myself for who I am not.
I'm 67. People think I'm out going, etc. I have no close friends and am fine with that. I'm alone but not lonely.
Ditto🙂
I just love you to bits. I’m 63 and have never had a BFF either. I really enjoy being alone, so it is strange when I begin to feel lonely. Thank goodness i have someone like you to visit with my cozy coffee.
I'm a 69 year old photographer, loner, who finally has learned to embrace my solitude. I was a loner as a child and couldn't understand why I didn't make friends. I was an observer most of my life and enjoyed just watching the world. I had two failed marriages with nice women who nonetheless wanted to fix me. After the second divorce (amicable), I discovered the profound relief in being in my own company. I photograph and design/publish books of my work and read from my library of books, staying up late if I wish, sleeping in if I wish. I lead a simple yet satisfying life on a very modest income. My surroundings are beautiful and my life is serene. All this to say, I enjoyed your video and can identify with much of what you had to say. Greetings from Eastern Washington in the Pacific Northwest.🏞️
I’m 53 and other than my wife I have no friends but I’m happy in my own little world. I have Asperger’s and have never really been able to interact on a social level with others which led me to being bullied when I was a child. Even though I have gotten better at interacting with people socially I still don’t like interacting with more than a couple of people at once and have become happy and content with my own little world.
Your video just popped up. How lovely you are. Everything you said l can relate to. I'm 72 and have been on my own for the first time in my life. There are ups and downs about it, just like life. I take each day as it comes. Meeting you has made this a good day😊
@eRachaelle Deamato I just turned 73 and I lost my mate of 52 years 2.5 years ago! I do still have family however I don’t see them
Often--plus my two best friends died also! While the loneliness can be daunting--I’m
Trying not to be undone by it!
For so long I felt bad about myself because I did not have any friends. Then one day I stopped blaming myself and feeling bad about not being the person I think I am supposed to be and came to understand that not only am I the product of my circumstances but I also find most people uninteresting or unenjoyable to be around and prefer what is going on inside my head. I think this is because I am a creative person and because of the isolation I grew up in.
By the way, your art is beautiful and I'm glad to hear about another person out there living in aloneness.
Same. Beautifully spoken
Where We Are Is Right Where We Are Supposed To Be..I am also in my 50s and similar situation..I feel at peace..my environment has changed from a social butterfly to a homebody. It’s challenging..because it’s different..My two dogs are literally my best friends..I take them for hikes and enjoy their company ..I am enjoying the time of my life..I appreciate every day I’m alive..I love nature..now I really get to breath it in..living in the moments of my life with gratitude
When I was younger I wanted to fit in, but the older I get the more I love ‘quirky’ individuals. They are so much more interesting! Love your channel
I am 62 and i have found that solitude has allowed me to discover who i really am. I am able to recall the events in my life that have shaped the woman i am and it has also shown me the woman I long to be. This is a great video and i think you are a lovely human being. Blessings, peace, and love. ♥
Thanks for this relatable video! I didn't know I was "lonely" until people told me I was. That's when I felt awkward as an introvert. Until that point, I was perfectly happy with my few confidants.
A few months ago, I was like "Screw this." I went back to my happy place. Forget what society says. I'll just be happy doing me! I don't want social norms to dictate my life. I may be classified as "socially awkward" but at least I'm happy! 😀 Happiness looks differently to everyone! 😊❤😇🎊
You are not alone. You have a lovely person in your life.
Painful when you are young. Splendid as you mature. So true.
I completely relate to this. I lost my husband 12 1/2 years ago. It was totally unexpected as he'd just turned 54. I was the same age at the time. I stopped creating art completely. I couldn't look at our photographs because I would dissolve into tears. Since then "our" friends peeled away one by one, so now I've had to remake new ones. I'm back to creating, albeit with needle and thread rather than paper arts.
Oh my goodness, this post breaks my heart. It makes me wish I could help, maybe be an email pen pal! I've had a few of those and absolutely adore them. What part of the world are you in?
@@katashley1031 thank you Kat, I'm in Tampa Bay
Thank you for your kind reply. I have found the loneliness too much to bear many times, so I guess I drowned in it. But I'm still here. And I'll make myself get better.
Thank you for making this video, Wendy. I feel extremely lonely in life too right now. I am in my mid 30s. I have a few friends, but they aren't people I get the chance to meet up with regularly, and Covid cut my social circle too. I am single and I have no brothers or sisters, therefore I find it hard to meet new people through others as my circle is so small. I have tried to get out and about a bit more this last year, but it hasn't resulted in any real friendships. I feel so sad; I think I am a pleasant and kind person; I find people are always very nice to me in life in general - for example, people smile at me in the street, interact in shops, and at work I think I am well liked too. But nobody other than me knows the pain of the loneliness I feel inside. I dread the future too, which seems such a shame for someone who isn't all that old.
Anyway, I don't really know why I am writing this other than just to say that I hope the new year can bring happiness for all those who are currently lonely (or dealing with any other sadness in life).
yes, I've been putting it together for a whiile as it's a sensitive one... xx Loneliness is a real thing and feels very painful, I know. I would suggest a creative class perhaps but only if you feel excited to do it and the timings feel right. And, until your kindred spirits appear, may you find some company online, we are here... xxx softest hugs xxxxxx and thank you for sharing xxxxx
I want you to know Pinkapplerose you are not alone, I am thinking of you, as I too am alone, although I do have my rescue greyhound Madge, and I only go out of the house to walk her. I am 66 years young, so much older than you, but know what it is like to be alone. All of us on here understand each other I feel, and we can help each other feel valued, and needed in this life. I hope that you can find hope, and joy, in watching the wonderful Wendy. Love and hugs, from Devon, England. xxx
You sound like such a kind person I hope life brings you all the blessings and leaves them at your front door all your hearts desires your own company is also a blessing mother nature is a blessing and dear friend a trip to a coffee shop all by yourself is also a blessing 🙌 💖
@@jillychandler peaceful holidays to you and Madge dear Jilly,xxx
@@theunexpectedgypsy Thank you. Yes, that is a good idea. I am going to try to get back into art this year. If it helps me find new friends that will be perfect, but if not, at least I will have the pleasure which comes from being creative.
Merry Christmas to you and James x
I feel insulted by how I’m treated anymore. A young woman-26 year old, mentioned that people over 50 should be put down (die) bc they have lived their life and need to make room for the rest of us. I was really shocked 😮. I’m 52 this year. And yes, I live alone, and have lived this way for sometime. It’s hard to make any friends at my age; everyone seems to have their lives well put together and no room for anyone else
Don’t listen to haters. Being in your 50s is a very good thing, the life knowledge u accumulate is invaluable
There is something wrong with this younger generation
Wow I am 26 and I am really shocked an feel ashamed for someone my age saying that.. how arrogant..Life shouldn't be over yet. Please enjoy your life, make memories - live hard.
Same selfish young people that say 'old people shouldn't vote'
Scrub a layer off in a sea salt bath. That toxic girl, did she watch 'Solyvent Green', an old sci-fi movie? Aged-out people are put to sleep, then turned into food. So, in response to herrr, '' Eat Me", is very generous.
I think the people who are comfortable being alone are the often the more sensitive and more spiritual of our species. The old souls so to speak.😊
I can so relate to this. We do drift apart from our friends and as we get older and we don't adapt well to accommodate new friends, the way we did in our youth. Maturity gives us the gift of enjoying our own company and not having to rely on a group of friends to assure our identity.
I remember when I was a kid, I went trough this train of thoughts: "I don't have friends. People think I'm lonely and I should try making some. But why it feels like the least thing I wanted to do? And why I'm feeling so unhappy?" And I felt really bad about it, since people perceived me as "the poor one". But eventually I realized that I wasn't feeling bad because I was lonely, but because the people's perceptions of me hurt me. Since that realization, I've never regretted my time alone.
Now I'm in my thirties, never been to a relationship, I have my wonderful pets, and I totally agree with Tesla that the best ideas are born when you're alone. I feel like when I'm around people, things get so noisy and hectic that I even lose the connection with myself. Feels like I don't even have time to think. But when I'm back being alone, it feels like such an peace of mind, like anything was possible.
Thank you for this video.
A wonderful realisation indeed thanks so much for sharing. I wonder as well whether you are interested in human design which might help support you further. It certainly has me. And just ignore me if you’re not into it✨✨✨
@@theunexpectedgypsy thank you! I've never heard about that, what's human design? Please tell more ☺️
I'm just the same. I never felt the need for friends after high school. Maybe a couple of co-workers that I would go out to lunch with or do play dates with our kids, but no close confidante. My daughter says I'm depressed because I don't want to do friend/group activities, and she worries about me. But I'm perfectly content with my animals, books, and movies. I'm an INFJ personality type with strong empathic skills, and I'm also on the autism spectrum. So normal socialization and being around others exhaust me because I get overloaded with the emotions I soak up. But yeah, now that I'm in my 50s, my cat is my best friend, super smart and intuitive. She's a Maine Coon cat and they love to have conversations with their person. I really feel like I'm not living alone, and I have to remind myself that it's not my daughter or my mom living with me and who I'm talking with about things, it's my cat 'Tildy'. But, yeah. I'm in my 50s and am cherishing my "alone time."" And yes, I do give myself permission to stay home, read or watch films, or just snuggle in bed with Tildy. My favorite place to be at home is also bed.
hello, what does INFJ personality type mean ?
People exhaust me too. I’ve always been in fight or flight from five years old. Now 65, retired and live with three cats in a house in Southern California. Have a few sisters I’m comfy with. Life is great.
@Andymoto It stands for a person's core personality traits. So, I'm introverted, intuitive, feeling, and judging. There are a whole list of them. If you are interested in knowing what your traits are, take the Meyers-Briggs personality test online. It's really helpful and interesting. I finally have answers now about why I am the way I am. I don't feel like an anomaly or so weird anymore.
@Andymoto, no idea why people need BS like the Myers-Briggs type indicator…it is complete pseudoscientific hogwash.
You can check the info about it on Wikipedia
@spectatrix This person only asked what it was. They didn't say they believed it to be a valid determination of someone's identity. Why do you have to be so negative and dismissive of someone else's beliefs? I found the Meyers-Briggs test helpful in understanding parts of my psyche and emotional makeup that I had never understood before, and because I'm on the autism spectrum, it helped to clarify certain "grey areas" of my personslity which I had never understood before.The Meyer's-Briggs personality test is an accepted psychiatric tool used to determine a person's core personality traits. It sounds like you are dismissive of the psychiatric field in general and believe it all to be "hogwash." Be respectful of other's opinions.
My husband died last year and I discovered that aloneness is definitely very different than being lonely. I also discovered who my true friends were... there is only one friend (very tried and true) who continues to check up on me & includes me in various activities. When I became a widow, my whole social life changed. There are things I really miss socially but I have also enjoyed my alone time; the opportunity to just please myself. I adore your videos. They are inspiring and help me indulge in self care without feeling guilty.
Wow, your comment about feeling lonely in a crowded room. That hit me. I never feel lonely when I'm alone. But I almost always feel lonely in a crowded room. So insightful. Thank you for this video!
I’ve been a loner all my life, mostly because I feel like an alien; I’ve had friends here and there but when I met my so-called ‘soulmate’ and then lost her 7 years later, I hit rock bottom. The feeling of utter loneliness was so so dark, I still have nightmares about it. I’m ok now but I miss my ex very much, she was my best friend, she were truly 2 pieces of a puzzle. I don’t have the energy or courage to seek relationships but thankfully I’ve realized the company of animals is simply the best ❤
It sounds like you might still like to share your life with a like soul and Yr animals. Never say never. There are others out there who hv social anxiety or feeling of being an alien.
This could be me. I've always felt on the outside somehow, one or two friends but I'm somewhat socially awkward, until I met the love of my life, my soulmate and best friend 19 years ago, who really 'got' me and I could be my truest self, if that makes sense. But i sadly lost him to cancer 7 years ago. I still feel totally lost and the confidence he gave me has gone. Thank goodness for my beautiful dog, she keeps me going. Bless you from a kindred spirit 🙏
Im also an alien..never felt like i fit in anywhere...but my love for animals keeps me going..really sorry to hear you lost your soul mate..im 52 and still havent found mine..its so hard to meet someone when you dont like people..i hope the new year brings you a happy new chapter to your life..im here if you ever need to chat 🦋
@@tudorrose3443 what would we do without our fur babies many blessings sent to you
I'm in my early 50's. I've gone through an awakening in my late 40's and I can now count on less than one hand the # of friends that I have. It's good to know, I'm not alone. With this video alone I've subscribed and will start binge watching your journey. Sending you peace, love & light. Your energy is soft and gentle, I love that.
me too.xx
I woke up this morning with this video in my home feed. Like my guardian angels said "watch this absolutely lovely woman". Thank you for your message. I'm 51 and you're insight has made me feel so much better! Sending my thanks across the oceans!!!
There are so many of us who can relate! ❤
What a gift to find you today! Just spent Christmas alone AGAIN and while at 50 myself, I made great strides in the friendship dept this year, the holidays are challenging because it always feels like you are the only one who doesn’t have somewhere to be surrounded by family and friends!!
Same here
Omg, I think this in my head, verbatim, never had the courage to speak or. 🫂 I even feel guilty for for being sad, if I'm invited to friends, like I'm ruining their good time by being alone. Unintended. That's how I've think of myself. I don't belong anywhere. But I know the loved ones I've lost would be so broken to hear that, so I try to be grateful and be a reason for someone's smile each day. That makes me feel like I have a tiny purpose. I belong even just as a fleeting smile on a strangers lips. So please, smile. You are NOT alone. I'm right here too.🙂
@@violarobles3362 ditto.🫂 you're not alone, 🙂
a belated Happy Christmas.
I thought it was just me. Glad to hear I’m not the only one. I’m not very social either. I’ve lost a lot of friends, but mostly from betrayal and some from just growing apart over the years. I’m 50 now and I don’t have a best friend either. Most people think it’s strange. But it’s nice to know. This is normal for some. 😊
my mom says theres something wrong with me bc I have no friends. I tell her. I dont need friends. I have peace
I must be a true introvert bc spending most my time alone rejuvenates my spirit. I have a farm and animals and nature make me smile and laugh..
The official introvert slogan is available on a t-shirt: Introverts unite, separately in your own homes. 😂
I was really feeling this and then your video appeared! Just turned 60, retired and need to find my tribe.
Thank you for connecting and sharing ❤️
yup! it's definitely a comlex web and not alwasy easy to see clearly or navigate.... happy 60's and may you find your kindred souls soon!! xxxxxxxx in the meantime, we are all here!!!!
❤
My birthday is tomorrow, Christmas Eve. Probably spending it alone. Happy this video appeared when I needed it.
Pretty much, I do a lot of stuff alone. It hurts sometimes . I'm 67, just retired and burned out a bit, but taking time to find myself again. And, yes, I do hide out in my bed sonetimes when I feel the need.
Thanks for sharing this heavy stuff. Love your videos.
@@donnamalone9229 Happy Birthday Donna
@@donnamalone9229 Happy Birthdat Donna
Wendy you have a whole community that loves you. I call your videos my therapy. I'm also in my 50's and wow what an interesting journey this is. I'm an extreme introvert and it's ok. I have family and my little dog that I couldn't live without.
I wish we were neighbors because I know we would have loads to talk about over tea. 😊
Stay well and Happy Holidays to all. 💜
awww that's wonderful thank you sooo much! xxx Yes! An interesting journey indeed.... bumpy and fabulous!!! Doogggggieeeeee!!! I shall raise my teacup to you and happy holidays Amy xxxx
Yes here in Michigan/ Indiana boarder we are buried in snow so Itea is my drink of choice.
Was supposed to go to Northern Michigan for the Christmas holiday but stuck in Indiana. Learning acceptance but pretty bummed out about it. I don't always comment but I never miss a video. 💜❄️
@@amybennett1530 oh gosh, how disappointing... xxx you def allowed to be bummed.... xxx I shall know you are there from now on! xxxxx big loves xx
@@theunexpectedgypsy Thank you so much. XXX💜
You have some amazing landscapes around you! I do appreciate the connection to artists online. I think a lot of us feel more socially awkward as we get older when it comes to making new friends. It makes our old, comfortable friends even more valuable.
It's okay not to have friends. Most people are despicable and you aren't missing a thing.
So true!