How Modern Dating Became Such a Dumpster Fire (ft. Sadia Khan)

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  • Опубликовано: 21 май 2024
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    Let's be honest: the modern dating landscape is a shit show. From declining marriage rates and rising infidelity to the nightmare of using dating apps-it's brutal out there.
    With all these supposedly "easy" ways to meet new people, why are the people who want long-term, stable relationships so fed up with the dating world?
    I invited dating and relationships coach Sadia Khan on the pod to discuss how the skills we use to excel in modern dating often sabotage long-term happiness.
    Sadia brings a refreshing, thought-provoking perspective to the conversation that will help you navigate the complexities of today's dating world. We dive into the role of self-esteem in successful relationships, the pitfalls of modern dating advice, and the skewed expectations shaped by social media, dating apps, and pornography.
    Enjoy.
    00:04:26 Modern dating: a divorce training ground
    00:07:46 Dating apps
    00:14:04 Male-female friendships
    00:16:17 What men's dating advice gets wrong
    00:21:53 Deprioritizing sex
    00:31:45 Oversexualization
    00:38:50 What women's dating advice gets wrong
    00:49:21 Self-esteem and relationships
    00:53:19 Peace vs denial
    / markmanson
    / iammarkmanson
    / markmansonnet
    / markmanson
    / iammarkmanson

Комментарии • 1,1 тыс.

  • @sadiapsychology
    @sadiapsychology 28 дней назад +779

    Thank you for having me ❤

    • @ryanutterback
      @ryanutterback 28 дней назад +22

      Much love, Sadia!

    • @yappachini
      @yappachini 28 дней назад +14

      30:03 haraam! 😂 Sadia you're very cute

    • @J31
      @J31 28 дней назад +46

      I was very impressed with how out-of-touch and bad your dating takes were. Did you pay to be on this podcast?

    • @DDCrp
      @DDCrp 28 дней назад +11

      @@J31you're dead on arrival

    • @J31
      @J31 28 дней назад +14

      @@DDCrp Did you just pull that out of a hat of random idioms?

  • @wangcheng5188
    @wangcheng5188 17 дней назад +906

    Interesting video content, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me. I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

    • @michael-gg2rh
      @michael-gg2rh 17 дней назад

      its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back

    • @wangcheng5188
      @wangcheng5188 17 дней назад

      Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?

    • @michael-gg2rh
      @michael-gg2rh 17 дней назад +1

      Her name is shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

    • @wangcheng5188
      @wangcheng5188 17 дней назад +1

      Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

    • @daeuri
      @daeuri 17 дней назад +5

      It is not clear why she decided to end the relationship. Did you discuss with her why she wanted the relationship to end? If she could leave you knowing how you feel about her, your feelings for her will not be the reason she comes back to you (if ever). Regardless of the outcome, you have to find contentment within yourself regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not.

  • @mattiusbattol
    @mattiusbattol 28 дней назад +488

    I'll tell you why. Because everyone is getting their dating advice from the internet. Every possible nuance has been overanalysed and regurgitated as fact by every man and his dog and it's confusing the shit out of everyone

    • @kinetic-cybernetic
      @kinetic-cybernetic 28 дней назад +24

      You are one of those people who reply to the title of a video and not to the actual content, how does it feel?

    • @mattiusbattol
      @mattiusbattol 28 дней назад

      @@kinetic-cybernetic Am I wrong ?

    • @mattiusbattol
      @mattiusbattol 28 дней назад

      @@kinetic-cybernetic Am I wrong ?

    • @mattiusbattol
      @mattiusbattol 28 дней назад

      @@kinetic-cybernetic Podcast is an hour long and I replied 13 minutes ago. Of course I replied to the title you moose lol.

    • @tamagotchi22
      @tamagotchi22 28 дней назад +10

      Yeah, in the past, it was just approaching someone with sincerity, speaking your mind, getting her number, and hopefully, she will respond well when you call 😊

  • @F33bs
    @F33bs 27 дней назад +453

    The word "we" is being used a lot here. I'm a 34M, I don't personally know anyone who actually uses dating apps, most of the men I know are not going on millions of pointless dates or having random casual sex. So I'm not sure where this "we" is coming from. "We" regular guys are not doing any of that, and many of us are pretty good looking, resourceful and emotionally mature. We're just normal people, but I suspect that's exactly what our problem is.

    • @kausha7135
      @kausha7135 26 дней назад +70

      It's so crazy to me, I see immature guys all over social media and hear about them often, but among the men I know in my personal life, I would recommend anyone of my girlfriends to date them. They're good men. Flawed men, but good. I don't know where all these shitty men are. Places I don't bother to go I guess.

    • @amayyaduvanshi2706
      @amayyaduvanshi2706 26 дней назад +3

      Ikr

    • @hermann5347
      @hermann5347 26 дней назад +31

      Thank you for this comment. I listen to people like this and the only thing I learn form it, is that they live in a completely different world than myself.

    • @charles2241
      @charles2241 26 дней назад

      @@kausha7135 Places like bars and dating apps.

    • @withinwithout6263
      @withinwithout6263 25 дней назад +12

      I believe, in a way, they’re falling internally the same trap that they’re trying to highlight and critique: being outwardly/extrinsically focussed. Except here that outward focus is materialising in assuming those who have visibility online - through use/engagement with social media, apps, whatever - is representative of everyone. So only the behaviour and trends of those very visibly online has any visibility and cache. It makes discussions like these pretty hard to connect to.

  • @jackssssss
    @jackssssss 28 дней назад +274

    Unpopular opinion: I’m open to being in a relationship but I do feel being happily single is underrated and mostly not talked about from us single people since we’re really minding our own business ❤

    • @kevinmcjames4626
      @kevinmcjames4626 27 дней назад +13

      If you've never been in the deep committed relationship they are talking about here, then you don't know what you're talking about and ultimately aren't making an informed decision. The reason few people talk about the "happily single" person is - as they said at the very begging of this episode - the data is self evident that people in committed relationships are far better off on several important metrics!

    • @wahoo4uva
      @wahoo4uva 27 дней назад +3

      🎯🎯🎯💯✨

    • @dreas9236
      @dreas9236 26 дней назад +1

      my small experience.....being happily single is often so far overrated. I ask myself, if you're doing well, why do you have to be single? Do these people have no needs that go beyond eating, sleeping, working, consuming, partying, playing PlayStation, or bingeing series? 🙂

    • @dreas9236
      @dreas9236 26 дней назад

      @noazucar519 Firstly, because I take friends and family for granted and that's why I didn't mention them. Secondly: Because I don't experience the same kind of kisses, caresses, coziness, cuddling with each other and the same feelings with my family and friends as I do in a relationship.
      I'll be honest, even though I had good times when I was single, I was less happy in a relationship than I am today. Hardly anyone dares to say it. Everyone wants to comment as a “superhero”.
      Why give up all of this Relationship-Stuff? What is the benefit? I don't really understand these statements in millions of social-media-comments. Anyone who has to share/post/tell me everywhere "how happy they are as single" also has some concerns as to why they need so much external confirmation/likes for these sentences. Because they don’t really believe it themselves? I don't know
      🙂

    • @sporkmaster12
      @sporkmaster12 24 дня назад +4

      Very large difference in being happy by yourself and having someone who enhances what happiness you already have.

  • @toothpastehombre
    @toothpastehombre 28 дней назад +128

    Mid 40s, been single for nearly a decade. It's normal now, and I've learned to enjoy my time alone. I spent many years struggling with discontentment and not liking who I was. Not anymore. Now, I don't have the energy, let alone desire, to "get back in the game"

    • @ryanutterback
      @ryanutterback 28 дней назад +10

      I feel that, man. I’m sorry.

    • @mikescardiaries
      @mikescardiaries 28 дней назад +17

      That's okay man, many men are like this now. I'm happy to stay single and childless for the rest of eternity.

    • @Halcyon1997
      @Halcyon1997 28 дней назад +8

      Don't give up brothers. Stay strong!

    • @danahalenezi6713
      @danahalenezi6713 27 дней назад +7

      Dont give up !!!!!

    • @JaysonT1
      @JaysonT1 27 дней назад +17

      ​@@danahalenezi6713What are we giving up? After a certain point it's not worth it and if you're good by yourself, just be by yourself.

  • @HowdIEvenGetHere
    @HowdIEvenGetHere 28 дней назад +140

    Met my wife on a dating app, Coffee Meets Bagel. I think what made it work was there weren’t unlimited matches or even a limited but large number of matches each day.
    You got one or two each day and that was it. It made you more willing to consider dates who maybe had one or a few subjective flaws, but many admirable characteristics that were attractive.
    Perfect isn’t flawless. Perfect isn’t ideal.

    • @HowdIEvenGetHere
      @HowdIEvenGetHere 28 дней назад +8

      And my perfect match has flaws, but I’ve learned to appreciate them. 3 years of marriage 💍

    • @amayyaduvanshi2706
      @amayyaduvanshi2706 28 дней назад +3

      Beautiful

    • @alenaadamkova7617
      @alenaadamkova7617 27 дней назад

      As some say internet causes such effect that opinion of minority makes it look like opinion of majority....
      because the opinion of minor group is spread so much by the algorithm that people believe that its opinion of majority of people,
      even though outside the media, people have free will and decide to have their own opinion and have decent conversations.
      So maybe this way men are indoctrinated to be superficial, and find a superficial values, and women are indoctrinated to be superficial, and care only about materialism.
      As some say looking into mirror too often and checking the looks is also about materialism.
      As you stop obsessing about looks, stop being indoctrinated by media and corporations, who sell fake boobs and fake eyelashees, and for men fake muscles powders etc
      and start living freely, with ermpathy, compassion, humor, you will be attractive because of your personality.

    • @alenaadamkova7617
      @alenaadamkova7617 27 дней назад

      She said it well 12 years old girls are conditionerd to have fake values so people should realize ita nd treach teenagers the real values.....People think capitalism is an excuse that teenagers are strugling withg values and mental health etc.

    • @RandomUser25122
      @RandomUser25122 26 дней назад +2

      Nice. If someone says they don’t have flaws or you don’t think they have any, we have to dig deeper or just plain leave. No one is perfect and if we see them as that, it’s not going to end well.

  • @themacocko6311
    @themacocko6311 24 дня назад +49

    I just love it when super attractive people, who are married to super attractive people, tell everyone that looks shouldn't be important 😂

    • @movement2contact
      @movement2contact 17 дней назад +6

      +successful. And then try to relate by "not having it all" in their early 20... no $*!t... 🫠

    • @TaliAlba33
      @TaliAlba33 16 дней назад +3

      Just goes to show how out of touch they are with reality. Also, what they're saying may sound good in writting but when normal people like me put it to practice... Yeah best keep their advice to themselves.

    • @alyzak.8997
      @alyzak.8997 15 дней назад +1

      what does either of their looks have to do with anything?

  • @lessmore444
    @lessmore444 27 дней назад +89

    I’m with you Drew, no dating apps, social media or porn. I refuse to be part of the demand that creates that exploitative supply. Meeting women in person through friends and activities will either work or it won’t. Either outcome is perfectly acceptable.

    • @thepragmatist
      @thepragmatist 22 дня назад +4

      I love your attitude. All the best to you.

    • @Jamhael1
      @Jamhael1 21 день назад

      Deal with the overwhelming narcisism that infected the world en masse?
      Or avoid the hassle?
      You can see where the answer is...

    • @sirdiealot53
      @sirdiealot53 20 дней назад +5

      You’re on social media right now 😂

    • @Jamhael1
      @Jamhael1 20 дней назад +2

      @@sirdiealot53 the irony is real...

    • @alyzak.8997
      @alyzak.8997 15 дней назад +1

      God. Marry me xD

  • @robertetin1156
    @robertetin1156 17 дней назад +13

    The best way to meet potential romantic partners outside of apps is to develop hobbies or interests that generally draw members of the opposite sex. Almost everyone can find something they genuinely enjoy that generally draws members of the opposite sex. When I was single I tried yoga, pottery making, salsa dancing, and a book club to meet people. I found that salsa dancing and belonging to a book club were the only two of these hobbies I actually enjoyed so they were the only ones I stuck with. But I met numerous romantic partners through both hobbies before ultimately meeting my wife.

    • @marybell2002
      @marybell2002 3 дня назад

      I don't think meeting in real life is any better today. Dating in person feels like a cattle auction . The men stand around like castrated cattle, staring into space, unable to make eye contact or form a sentence. They are waiting for women to choose them, drag them through life and to give them orders they can follow because they're unable to make any decisions on their own today.

  • @actionboy3221
    @actionboy3221 28 дней назад +65

    I just want to meet people in real life. But in most places it’s now considered inappropriate to approach others. (Obviously I’m not catcalling anyone or any crazy stuff.) Literally just introducing myself or saying hi gets me looks of disgust or fear. 😞

    • @pwk4599
      @pwk4599 27 дней назад +5

      Maybe some eye contact and a smile to each other in advance help. If this doesn't happen, the person is probably not interested in that situation (or in you).

    • @sifatulrabbi
      @sifatulrabbi 27 дней назад +17

      this is, for me, one of the worst affects of social media. people just gives a weird look.
      but the catch is you shouldn't prevent yourself from getting those crazy looks. because among the crowd there will be another person just like you who is also wanting to meet people in real life.

    • @Kate-rv6kx
      @Kate-rv6kx 27 дней назад +8

      I want to meet people in person too, but I am afraid of them. 🤷‍♀️ I wish I wasn't.

    • @JoeBrown-bt4qg
      @JoeBrown-bt4qg 24 дня назад +3

      Well, the problem with meeting a total stranger at a grocery store lets say, is because you now have to consider the first date carefully. She will likely demand meeting in a public place (implying that she does not trust you), and she will often expect dinner or drinks which you as the man will pay for (implying that she wants to be compensated for her time she is spending with you). Not a good position to be in, and as a man you are off to a bad start. Meeting at the grocery store or meeting on an app yields the same results.

    • @actionboy3221
      @actionboy3221 13 дней назад

      I can understand why women are afraid of being approached in public. Or anyone would be afraid of that or at least weirded out a little. I just think it’s sad. And a lame effect of social media and online dating. Online probably FEELS safer. But now we are seeing scams and abuse and very awful things from men who met women online. Also catfishing has existed for everyone since online dating started. So I guess whatever makes people feel safe is fine… but meeting a dude online doesn’t make them less a murderer or anything else.
      If Ted Bundy were around now he’d be swiping around on dating apps rather than approaching people in real life. The best you could do online before meeting someone is a background check really, and that’s not much. My point is it’s a false sense of security.

  • @soumen08
    @soumen08 28 дней назад +111

    Great podcast. Stop advertising garbage though. There is no way to "supercharge" your mitochondria. Neither do they need supercharging. Eat well, sleep well, and get some exercise. That is good enough.

    • @srijangautam7369
      @srijangautam7369 24 дня назад +2

      😂😂

    • @FirstLast-mj7pt
      @FirstLast-mj7pt 22 дня назад +5

      I think it’s one of those things they have to do for funding. YT has been waging a successful demonetization campaign against all the good channels lol

    • @brianmeen2158
      @brianmeen2158 21 день назад +1

      @@FirstLast-mj7ptwhat is with all of the ads and now each creator is running their own sponsor ads.. feels like half the time I’m anxiously trying to skip ads

    • @phoenixrisin2269
      @phoenixrisin2269 21 день назад +2

      There is but it’s not in these ads

  • @prajwalchavan4781
    @prajwalchavan4781 26 дней назад +35

    I'm almost 21. I listened to the podcast from the start to the end and while I was at it, I cleared out all the sexual stuff I had on my phone, deleted accounts I had on sexting websites and I'm probably gonna stop social media usage. Good job Mark 👍

    • @alyzak.8997
      @alyzak.8997 15 дней назад

      as a woman, that is so hot. You're gonna do great! Keep going

    • @kelleraltidor4097
      @kelleraltidor4097 11 дней назад

      😂 that's the best way to win at life. Listening to some 40 y o wman who, for so,e weird reasons thinks she can teach men how to be men, accompanied by some dudes in their 40s who married their wives for vibes and couldn't get the girls they wanted.

  • @jwurnig
    @jwurnig 27 дней назад +25

    Mark, let your guests talk. Ask them questions. Quit using your guests as a platform for you to be the professor. You've lined up some amazing guests. Let them be the star in these interviews.

    • @marilujoubert516
      @marilujoubert516 27 дней назад +11

      Right!?!
      Sadia was sitting with her arms crossed the second half while she was more open in the beginning. It seemed kinda weird

    • @alyzak.8997
      @alyzak.8997 15 дней назад

      thank you!

    • @nostrilsflared3635
      @nostrilsflared3635 14 дней назад

      This woman's credentials are not real, she's not a psychologist. I'm a little shocked Mark even had her on

  • @user-go8kp8rv3k
    @user-go8kp8rv3k 23 дня назад +47

    I gotta say, that was a pretty low quality and uninformed discussion. Not only is the confirmation bias in both Mark and Sadia very obvious, but they also just completely ignore a whole branch of science (evolutionary biology).
    No, men dont like young women because they are insecure and got stuck at 16..what a BS.
    They like younger women because we're animals and pick the mate with the highest fertility potential. And we have done so for all of human history. Thats what we're attraclted to naturally. Period.
    Im kinda shocked about their uninformed opinion. There is so much good literature out there. "The Evolution of Desire" andwers a lot of questions, for example.

    • @AustenSummers
      @AustenSummers 23 дня назад +10

      Agreed. They liked feeling “morally superior” in this podcast more than they like accurately describing dating dynamics. That’s because they believe it will elevate their status, which will get them connection.

    • @shauryajain675
      @shauryajain675 22 дня назад +2

      True

    • @nightmareTomek
      @nightmareTomek 22 дня назад +8

      Have the same impression about Sadia, just Mark I don't know yet, haven't finished that podcast. Sadia feels like she's very correct when she stays on track of what science says, but beyond that she's highly opinionated with an opinion closer to disney than reality.
      She also has immediately shadowbanned me when I posted criticism on her channel. I wasn't insulting or anything, she just didn't like her opinions being questioned.

    • @sebastiaanstok
      @sebastiaanstok 22 дня назад +5

      To a degree, you don't want to be the 50 something at the frat party. And women do reach there emotional maturity around 21, so when she's 19 when you are well above 30 this is a signal of insecurity or acting like an old creep.

    • @user-go8kp8rv3k
      @user-go8kp8rv3k 22 дня назад +4

      @@nightmareTomek yea, she seemed like a person who would do that.
      But Mark also seems to be heavily influenced by confirmation bias I feel (also in other podcasts). It's cool for him, if he's happy with his marriage. But why does it seem like he wants to sell it to everyone now, ignoring the majority of negative outcomes? Maybe it's to validify his own decisions.

  • @thomasprogli3372
    @thomasprogli3372 25 дней назад +70

    A top model and a millionaire giving dating advice what could go wrong.

    • @kelleraltidor4097
      @kelleraltidor4097 11 дней назад +6

      Everytime I try to listen to what she's saying I notice her attempting to tell men what to think and believe, stating random things as if they were actually factual. I just wonder, who actually listens to this her? Maybe a primary school boy

    • @chriscook9433
      @chriscook9433 10 дней назад

      @@kelleraltidor4097 Couldn't agree more. All i heard was cope from her and a lot of talk. She has no idea how men work and she's talking a to a happily married man (a rare minority) and a single dude who has fuck you status. This woman needs to spend an hour with Myron from fresh and fit.

    • @Aliillustrations
      @Aliillustrations 8 дней назад +1

      Shes a professional psychologist..

    • @tanitavantonder2977
      @tanitavantonder2977 5 дней назад +1

      😂😂😂😂😂

    • @PhantomFilmmaker-jd9ho
      @PhantomFilmmaker-jd9ho 5 дней назад

      Porn is what men use to get by, not strive for. Average women don't want average men.

  • @amarstar6203
    @amarstar6203 21 день назад +7

    I've never heard of her, but as a psychologist and relationship coach, she lost credibility when she said it's ok for someone to exploit the other if they are being exploited. Also, they spent so long expressing valid points on how some men view relationships, but gloss over the problems some women bring to relationships. Men are taught to value looks and women are taught to value a man's wealth it seems. I'm surprised Mark didn't challenge her more or ask more questions about women's role in toxic dating. As someone else stated, she's above average in looks (with modifications from the looks of it) and wealth so it doesn't seem like she can relate to the average person dating in this day and age. I wouldn't listen to her if I was still dating.

  • @yolojabromeo-xw8ft
    @yolojabromeo-xw8ft 19 дней назад +5

    mid 30s. Spent YEARS on apps. Ghosted after 1-3 messages over and over and over. Even the fat chicks would pass. I was even successful. Just didn't weight lift and didn't focus on my appearance to the max. Just got ghosted and treated like crap for years. Weight lifted and picked up bouldering so I got muscular. Updated my photos and 8 dates within two weeks of updating my photos.
    At that point I was at the top of my technical field (software eng). Women just threw themselves at me. its all looks, money, status.
    I read 100 books in those years. Built my career to the max. And most of the women that were there were garbage. Deeply insecure, either highly anxious or anxious avoidant. Never want to go back. Found a good one and got the f out.
    I grew up in a good family with good values. I was always well liked. I just didn't do what other guys did and focus on my appearance. Was never a family value so I was never taught. After i got fit I had girls that i had known for years make moves. It makes me sad because i was there all along.

  • @Blackbeard925
    @Blackbeard925 14 дней назад +3

    Dating in in itself is a double-edged sword. That's why arranged marriages statistically work out better in the long run. Each failed dating attempt is a direct blow to ones mental health.

    • @alcibiadesonthestreets
      @alcibiadesonthestreets 14 дней назад

      they work better statistically in that if arranged marriage is all you know, it makes no sense to go for a divorce. How fulfilled / happy people are in an arranged marriage, that's going to be a much tougher thing to prove.

  • @deandawiz
    @deandawiz 28 дней назад +79

    A woman winked at me once. We dates for 2 years and it ended after she tried to stab me. Good times.

  • @PS-qn4oz
    @PS-qn4oz 28 дней назад +58

    I loved this conversation, just felt weird when y'all started talking about older men dating younger women because my husband is 18 years older than me. Even after 25 years of marriage people still look at us like we shouldn't have done that. I don't think the stereotyping is all that interesting.
    Just because a man has money, that doesn't make him unlovable. Just because a woman is young, that doesn't make her inexperienced and stupid. People live in all kinds of circumstances.
    The theme of the podcast seemed to be that we should look at people for who they are and not judge them superficially. Except when it comes to age?
    Well if I had been dating someone my own age in my early 20s it wouldn't have increased my IQ or GPA, and dating someone older didn't decrease it either.

    • @RandomUser25122
      @RandomUser25122 26 дней назад +6

      Sorry for adding a king post on your comment, but I agree with you. I usually like Sadia’s advice but think she was wrong on this issue because she had a problem with older men and younger women, yet didn’t have the same problem with older wealthy women and their pursuit of toy boys for pleasure and to show off to other women.
      She was also pretty one-sided in her view of older men being the ones taking advantage of younger women. As an older guy, I’ve lost count of the number of younger women (even 19 years old) who express an interest in me as an older man. They are pursuing what they want and are pretty aggressive at it re more mature of buys their age, so crave maturity. They’re also bored of the Beta males their age that society has helped create. When entry see anyone Alpha, they’re interested, even if not for the long term.
      I’ve never dated that young, but when I speak with younger women, there’s always a few years of maturity you can add to their age, that boys her age can’t match. So a 19 year old can be as emotionally mature as a a 25-29 year old, IMO.

    • @PS-qn4oz
      @PS-qn4oz 26 дней назад +1

      ​@@RandomUser25122 Thank you and I agree. Yes there are logical reasons young women like older men. The relationship may have its challenges specific to that situation but if they are both well-adjusted and thriving, who's to complain?
      My daughter is now 21 and she is attracted to much older men -- some of her coworkers. She's attractive herself. I am so grateful that for the most part these guys are not taking advantage of the situation but usually just enjoy her company and keep it at a friendship level.
      I think men are just as wary of getting involved with a girl who's immature as women are wary of getting involved with a man who's exploitative.

    • @JaysonT1
      @JaysonT1 26 дней назад +9

      ​@@RandomUser25122"Alpha"?.... Jesus Christ, get over yourself. A real "Alpha" doesn't need to advertise.

    • @rayrwyr
      @rayrwyr 25 дней назад +6

      I agree completely, as an older man who finds young women attractive. Why shame the age difference? No good reason. Mark thinks that an older man dates a young hot girl to show off his friends that "I am the cool guy now". That's nonsense. Both Sadia and Mark are off on 60% of the points and correct on 40%.

    • @PS-qn4oz
      @PS-qn4oz 25 дней назад +1

      @@rayrwyr My husband was somewhat embarrassed about the age difference. It was important to him that I was well-spoken and levelheaded, then his family could understand there was a deeper bond.

  • @sylviaschaffner2551
    @sylviaschaffner2551 28 дней назад +13

    I feel they hit on a lot of good points. I feel nowadays the term narcissism is thrown around a lot. As well as people being so fixated on boundaries that they somehow get a power kick of simply cutting ppl off rather than having complicated and adult discussions.

    • @Jamhael1
      @Jamhael1 21 день назад

      From what I see, people want to please EVERYBODY, and this is not ok...

  • @SimpleLifeSpoof
    @SimpleLifeSpoof 28 дней назад +124

    A few days ago I saw a pigeon trying to mate with a female. I told him “Bro, you got no chance, she wants you to be in finance” 😂😂😂

    • @snorrevonflake
      @snorrevonflake 27 дней назад +2

      I never had a relationship that involved finance, other than maybe paying a small restaurant bill once in a time and even that we did alternate.

    • @RandomUser25122
      @RandomUser25122 26 дней назад +2

      She sounds like she thinks she’s a boss chick. Pigeon dodged a bullet

    • @0l0l00l0
      @0l0l00l0 26 дней назад +5

      Finance, Trust fund, 6'5, blue eyes

    • @neranderthal
      @neranderthal 25 дней назад +1

      Finance bros are the worst to date lets be real

    • @patriceesela5000
      @patriceesela5000 19 дней назад +2

      😅😅😅

  • @robblivion
    @robblivion 27 дней назад +14

    Beyond a basic level of attractiveness, the only thing I'm looking for is that natural spark or chemistry. As you move further into adulthood, dating and social interactions feel more like a job interview than a spontaneous interaction and that makes it so much more difficult to find out whether you have a natural connection with someone.

    • @JaysonT1
      @JaysonT1 23 дня назад +1

      The reason being is both persons become more ridged in their likes and dislikes, expectations, beliefs....ext. these this come with getting older. You tend to know yourself better.

    • @robblivion
      @robblivion 23 дня назад

      @@JaysonT1 yeah, I guess there are pros and cons to knowing yourself! 🤣

  • @primehub8129
    @primehub8129 28 дней назад +140

    I wanna date people who are also into self-care and watching such videos.

    • @sufferbetter1387
      @sufferbetter1387 28 дней назад +3

      Same here😂

    • @bettertb4
      @bettertb4 28 дней назад +2

      you have got a right guy then... lol

    • @fairyliquid6864
      @fairyliquid6864 28 дней назад +14

      Mark needs to start a dating app dedicated to people that follow his content 😅

    • @mattxgill
      @mattxgill 28 дней назад

      Same dude

    • @jigyashabalkoti
      @jigyashabalkoti 28 дней назад +1

      @@fairyliquid6864 nice idea though

  • @ksniderdesign
    @ksniderdesign 28 дней назад +29

    49:18 I find this topic so fascinating as someone dating in their late 20s right now. I think I’ve been conditioned to believe that when I’m talking to someone, if things aren’t perfect 100% of the time, it’s doomed and I should just give up and move onto the next. It’s taken me a long time to learn how to adapt to circumstances and be realistic with my expectations. It’s a really fine line to walk between respecting yourself and not compromising your values versus being realistic!

  • @SophiaAphrodite
    @SophiaAphrodite 27 дней назад +122

    I do find it difficult to take someone serious who mocks the airbrushed model and unrealistic expectations while going out of her way to present herself as an airbrushed model in every way, shape or form and is without a doubt one of the most beautiful women you would ever meet. I feel like from her position of serious privilege it does not really put her in a position to understand what the dating scene would ever be like for normal people.

    • @Daniel-kx4sy
      @Daniel-kx4sy 27 дней назад +36

      I feel the same about Mark. Whether you agree with "red-pill advice or not (for the record, I do not) there is one thing they say which is true and is backed up by the small amount of dating site analytics that are publicly available (the now famous okcupid chart) 10-20% of men are doing 80-90% of the dating. Mark was in that 10-20%. Most of what he says about men is relevant to that 10-20%. the guy who's been on Tinder for 3 years with only one match ever who subsequently ghosted him for being 5'7" isn't objectifying women in the way these 2 talk about (likely he is in a different way, but not the way these two talk about), they'd be happy just to talk to one.

    • @hermann5347
      @hermann5347 25 дней назад +12

      @@Daniel-kx4sy As a 5`6" guy with virtually zero success on dating apps I agree with you 100%. It´s not that I´m a saint, but their entire discussion just didn´t feel relevant to my life at all. And I suspect many girls will feel the same when looking at Sadia, just as the OP pointed out.

    • @collegerebel
      @collegerebel 23 дня назад

      True. She looks like Anissa Kate. A porn star.

    • @MrBooYa-yd5er
      @MrBooYa-yd5er 22 дня назад +17

      I get weird vibes from her too. She seems very narcissistic like she has all the answers.

    • @Kburn1985
      @Kburn1985 22 дня назад +3

      A lot of these podcast people are the same, Jordan peterson, Joe rogan, etc. They have some good and meaningful messages, but sprinkle a heap of their personal agenda and beliefs everywhere.
      She does make some very good points, while some are just opinions or flat out wrong. Just take the good and leave the bad.

  • @reubenxgotnext
    @reubenxgotnext 17 дней назад +5

    Hey Mark I'm a big fan of your work. I do feel like you all are being a bit ageist when addressing 19-23 year old women. You make it seem as if they all are young, dumb and can't make calibrated and calculated decisions for themselves. Please be aware that ageism goes both ways and that when you get older people might judge you in the same fashion even though you are more than mentally capable. I'm sure you've encountered your fair share of women who are 30+ years old that can't carry a good convo and vice versa there are younger women who can bring a unique and different perspective to that same convo...just food for thought. I love the book Models and I read it multiple times as well as listen to the audio book quite often. Keep up the good work.

    • @StudlyStudmuffin
      @StudlyStudmuffin 17 дней назад +4

      Agree 100%! The whole topic about younger women and older men was completely driven by her insecurities and I am extremely disappointed in how Mark handled it. He pandered to her and kissed her feet.
      Mark has addressed younger women and older men before and the outcome was a complete 180 to this. I'm a huge Mark Manson "fan" but my thoughts towards him have taken some damage from this video.

  • @neranderthal
    @neranderthal 25 дней назад +12

    We can even see how hypersexualised and unattainable beauty standards are nowadays compared to the past and this correlates with the rise in technology. Our source of what is desirable is becoming more and more intangible everyday and straying away from the natural world. Like they were saying, dating apps disproportionately amplifies extrinsic values.

  • @rakodoza7601
    @rakodoza7601 27 дней назад +11

    They really put Drew in a losing spot there.
    Two "happily married" and one "happily single". HAHA 😂 Yea... we all know what "happily single" in this context means.
    Being in the middle of a conversation about how modern dating sucks when you know that all these advices are defacto for you because obviously Mark and Sadia are not saying them to themselves. So the underlaying setting is: two teachers, one student.
    It's easier for Mark obviously. Pick your battles Drew!

  • @thecommonsensecapricorn
    @thecommonsensecapricorn 28 дней назад +50

    @9:38 So true. The most authentic crushes I had were in people I wasn’t initially attracted to, and even more than that, people I was initially repelled by, but they grew on me.

    • @thecasualreviewer2148
      @thecasualreviewer2148 28 дней назад +1

      I've been bad about craving "chemistry" first and not trusting the attraction stage, skipping over it. Therefore I just never date cause I crave that secure connection from the get-go.
      I wish I could figure out how to fix this situation of mine. It puts me in a lot of bad cycles.

    • @somewhereright3160
      @somewhereright3160 28 дней назад

      ​@@thecasualreviewer2148 same

    • @PS-qn4oz
      @PS-qn4oz 28 дней назад +1

      Same. I am also a common sense Capricorn, btw. So, there was once this shy and mysterious Virgo guy.....LOL

    • @ghosthusler
      @ghosthusler 28 дней назад

      Yeah you're gonna cheat on him for sure. Give it a couple of years when you sound more miserable

    • @PS-qn4oz
      @PS-qn4oz 28 дней назад +3

      @@ghosthusler Projecting much? lol Tired of hustling ghosts because you can't get with a real person?

  • @MarianneSmith62
    @MarianneSmith62 28 дней назад +9

    I met my husband on a dating app. I couldn't see his picture, and in hindsight that's the best thing that happened to me. I would never have wanted to meet him by his photograph, but I really liked his words, so when we met irl, I liked him already. He loves me for who I am (first person ever!!) and neither one of us has the awful pressure of trying to live up to the image our partner was attracted to online!

    • @pridefall3304
      @pridefall3304 28 дней назад +6

      I had a similar experience where I met someone online before seeing his face and when we eventually did meet iin person I was just...disappointed. I tried for about 2 years to get over how little physical attraction (and even repulsion) I felt towards him because I felt like we were compatible and I liked his personality. People often say you grow into attraction and I never really did. It felt like a personal failing and I got angry at myself so many times cause I couldn't just make myself attracted to him. Eventually I had to give up for my own sanity. We're still friends and hang out every so often.

    • @rayrwyr
      @rayrwyr 25 дней назад

      @@pridefall3304 -- are you pure platonic friends now?

    • @TheKarlslok
      @TheKarlslok 23 дня назад

      ​@@pridefall3304 He is a clown for being friends with someone who is repulsed by him, and you are fake for hiding it from him, yet pretending you like him. This is why men should never be friends with women: women lie, are fake yet use male friends that are attracted to them, as free slaves. Men please, dont accept friendship from any woman you are sexually attracted to.

  • @forlessmore
    @forlessmore 28 дней назад +57

    You said it many times, but you gloss over it, that men need to “get over” their perceived need for sex by being personally successful enough to choose to chill out about it. MOST MEN DO NOT EVER GET THAT MUCH SEX!

    • @Daniel-kx4sy
      @Daniel-kx4sy 27 дней назад +25

      It’s funny cause Mark got his start as a mens dating coach, but he seems out of touch with the average man. When women talk about men in dating they talk about the 10-20% that all of them are dating and not the 80-90% that spend most of their lives ignored and alone. Mark does the same.

    • @JamesRogers233
      @JamesRogers233 26 дней назад +8

      Is it that much of a burden on your life that you feel you can not function or be successful unless you've had a certain amount of sex?
      Like, what's the number? Have 5 sex and then you'll be open to the advice of being personally successful enough?

    • @olavorodrigues4599
      @olavorodrigues4599 26 дней назад +6

      Regardless the amount of sex any man gets or not, I think the purpose is not to obsess over it even if nowadays most people, women included, do not have as much sex as before.
      In my opinion, the point the podcasters are trying to get across is that one should not base most of one's satisfaction as a man on sex. Rather, one must recreate the relation of masculinity to sex and, by doing so, one also changes some of the meanings that being a man carries both to the individual and other people.

    • @Daniel-kx4sy
      @Daniel-kx4sy 25 дней назад +8

      @@JamesRogers233 Are suggesting that there is no link between sex, love, affection, dating (all related) an well-being? Are you really patronizing men for wanting to have a well-rounded quality life in all areas? I don't understand, don't we encourage men to open up more and talk about their feelings. Are they only allowed to have certain feelings that fit well into your worldview? Can I get your contact info so next time I have a feeling I can call you to check that it's ok first?

    • @JSiracusan
      @JSiracusan 18 дней назад +1

      I guess I just feel it's nuanced... in a long term relationship maybe it won't get prioritized but there's a limit... and when you're a younger guy you can't control it as much because the urge is fing strong in some if us. But some men get in sexless relationships and then yeah if they get out they want more. When you're getting some it's like 20% important, when you're not, it grows to 90%. And changes with age

  • @hurrikane1449
    @hurrikane1449 23 дня назад +5

    So crazy how people are considered “children” yet are of age to serve in the military ? Cmon now. When are people adults?

  • @brettman162
    @brettman162 28 дней назад +9

    The concept of settling is crazy because it suggests that it’s the end of something- where really you’re finding a partner to do one of the most important things you will do with your life for the rest of your life.. you’re finding a team mate who wants to live that life- looks, height and weight don’t factor much when you put it in context

  • @wendyface6473
    @wendyface6473 27 дней назад +17

    I've dated online for too long. I guess it is time to just delete them all.

  • @jenniferlancaster7040
    @jenniferlancaster7040 16 дней назад +2

    married 20 years now, it's great. I live with my favorite person and we support and care for each other. we hang out, and we do things apart, we like each other as well as love each other.

  • @JaysonT1
    @JaysonT1 26 дней назад +36

    I've heard Mark say several times in the past that age doesn't have to be an issue and don't live your life by other's standards. Now he's kissing the ass of this woman and going back on that
    News! Older men and younger women were the norm for hundreds/thousands of years before society.

    • @rayrwyr
      @rayrwyr 25 дней назад +7

      You are right. Mark is doing age difference shaming. Fu*k that.

    • @lahicks9773
      @lahicks9773 25 дней назад +5

      It also started when women didn't have rights and were considered property. Child brides were a thing back in that time. I would like to think we have grown since that time.

    • @themacocko6311
      @themacocko6311 24 дня назад +6

      ​@@lahicks9773Why do you care what 2 other adults are doing with their lives? Frankly, it's none of your concern. If it is working for those two people, leave them alone. So sorry the rest of the world doesn't live up to your standards.

    • @nightmareTomek
      @nightmareTomek 22 дня назад

      @@themacocko6311 It's not just 2 people, they're spreading their messages through the media and influencing others. If they spread misinformation, it becomes a problem.

    • @nightmareTomek
      @nightmareTomek 22 дня назад +3

      By the way, when I was in school, girls were saying that they want exclusively older guys. That's never being shamed, only that men want younger girls.

  • @aloevera-mv7kj
    @aloevera-mv7kj 22 дня назад +8

    After watching the entire video objectively, I realized they didn't provide a single profound insight. Entire video gishgalloping.
    This is just sad.

  • @JaysonT1
    @JaysonT1 27 дней назад +28

    They are saying physical attractiveness is not important and that is complete BS. Not saying it should be the most important (surely not) but it absolutely is part of the mix.

    • @thomaseberhard9056
      @thomaseberhard9056 23 дня назад +1

      Very true.

    • @DrAhzek
      @DrAhzek 21 день назад +3

      Physical attractiveness is super important. Sorry but for men it is the fundamental thing that will get them interested in someone.
      Yes, there are exceptions but tell me how often have you heard "oh that girl is so super interesting, she travels a lot like me and is super passionate about XYZ"?
      My experience is that sadly, most women are lacking anything that would make them stand out in personality. It's not that they can't, it's simply they are often not incentivized to stand out like men have to. It was always for men to be that super passionate person that would grab a girls heart etc..
      As a result, a lot of women can only rely on looks and it is a depressing thing for everyone.

    • @DrAhzek
      @DrAhzek 21 день назад +4

      BTW, I myself had to break up with a really nice girl because I thought I could overlook physical attractiveness since we communicated quite well.
      Turned out I just couldn't. It made her feel miserable and unwanted, despite my best attempts at making her happy through other means (which ironically only made things worse since she couldn't "repay" me and it made her feel inadequate). I could live out a sexless life (as a super late bloomer you simply learn to deal with it) but for her it was a pain that I couldn't handle to see. She deserved better.
      It was a valuable lesson - if you can't honestly say that your woman is beautiful in your eyes, it is SHE that will be unhappy in the relationship, not you.

    • @thomaseberhard9056
      @thomaseberhard9056 21 день назад +2

      @@DrAhzek what a honest answer, and yes u r right she deserves better. Made a similar mistake…

    • @zuanzett2692
      @zuanzett2692 17 дней назад

      ⁠Wow, that sounds awful. So sorry for you. So what was it about her that you didn’t find attractive? Apart from her being a nice person?

  • @sirfer6969
    @sirfer6969 28 дней назад +57

    I felt sorry for Drew on this one. I winced in the shared pain, which I could see on Drews face, of being mocked for being single, which is something that will lose you friendships with those people. Sadie seemed illegitimate and not that bright if I'm honest
    This one was a real shame IMO

    • @rakodoza7601
      @rakodoza7601 27 дней назад +24

      Yeah. Unwinnable spot for him.
      Just look who speaks 95% of the time. Mark and Sadia. Poor Drew was put in a corner and talked maybe 5% of the time.
      The setting havily favorites Mark and Sadia. They have the comfort to speak from a "teacher's" point of view - confidently giving advices away. While Drew, no matter if he likes it or not, has to speak from a "student's" point of view - constatly having to expose his weaknes and inferiority.
      Not sure if it is helpful for him.
      Sadia mocks guys for having younger escorts but at least they can feel like men. How is Drew's position any better here? The poor guy has to listen to some advices like he was a 15 years old child or something. How can he feel like a man in such setting?
      This is also something that Mark does NOT seem to get. He is more mature partialy BECAUSE he was sleeping with many girls in his 20s.

    • @Vivi_9
      @Vivi_9 27 дней назад +9

      He even commented at the end that they didn't get anywhere with him lol

    • @hermann5347
      @hermann5347 26 дней назад +16

      Something I see with many married people: They look down on single guys and have a lot "advice" which usually is completely useless. They have a lot of neat explanations why you are single: You are too insecure, lazy, selfish, etc. Honestly I am kind of sick of it.
      It´s difficult enough to be deprived of companionship for that many years. I don´t need to be insulted for it on top of that.

    • @hermann5347
      @hermann5347 26 дней назад +5

      @@rakodoza7601 Also, how many guys are really sleeping with escorts? You can tell from her behavior, which kind of men she usually interacts with.

    • @rakodoza7601
      @rakodoza7601 26 дней назад +3

      @@hermann5347 yeah, like you said - no compassion. What is probably running through Drew's head there is: "I know it goddamnit, I'm trying ok!".
      These advices despite being more or less perfectly fine logically-wise, on an emotional level, feel like someone was just pointing at things and expecting immediate results no matter what. Magically.
      And then Drew, after this session, will go visit his parents and listen to the exact same advices, feeling like a child yet again. 🙃
      That's why if I were the one giving advices to Drew I would actually say "do the opposite Sadia said and get an escort". It's not a plan "A", but at least a solid plan "B". And certainly better than plan "C" which is being educated all day.
      Another good advice would be - hang out with other singles so at least you can feel equal.

  • @Moderndatingpodcast
    @Moderndatingpodcast 28 дней назад +69

    Dating has never been the same since cell phones came into the picture.

    • @dennydude3737
      @dennydude3737 26 дней назад +5

      I say since the inception of the internet...Lol.

    • @paulcolin9926
      @paulcolin9926 23 дня назад +1

      Agree

    • @raquelpeonie243
      @raquelpeonie243 20 дней назад

      Yessss

    • @LaCroixCreative
      @LaCroixCreative 18 дней назад

      @@dennydude3737 This. ^ Although smart phones put that internet in the palm of everyone's hand.

  • @zoanth4
    @zoanth4 28 дней назад +60

    Glad I met my wife in 2015! I couldn't imagine a life without her and our 2 kids. Dating looks insane to me today

    • @startrooper0016
      @startrooper0016 28 дней назад +5

      I believe we need to get off the dating and social media apps and back into personal interactions.

    • @Yggdrasill8
      @Yggdrasill8 26 дней назад +3

      2024 is a lot worse than what the dating market was in 2015, but it was still pretty bad in 2015, you got pretty lucky

  • @Xeronimo74
    @Xeronimo74 28 дней назад +22

    Hm, quality of the podcast seems to be trending down 🤔

  • @drummerbill5718
    @drummerbill5718 27 дней назад +1

    Great to have two of my favorite podcasters in one setting. I have lots of respect for both. Always informative, relevant and entertaining.

  • @Casual_ND
    @Casual_ND 9 дней назад +1

    A great honest conversation, with people that have high emotional intelligence and took the time to delve deep into their past experiences and learn from them. It's a breath of fresh air hearing merried people talk about the current dating scene, people who actually achieved the ultimate goal of dating. When you think about it, it's actually not in your best interest to listen to advice about dating from folks who are still stuck in the dating loop, similarly, you wouldn't take advice on how to cook a great meal from someone who's still learning how to cook, you would go to the person who's been cooking for a long time and knows how to create a proper meal. I enjoyed it very much and learned alot, thank you!

  • @bubbastylin
    @bubbastylin 27 дней назад +9

    Great video! I was a bit disappointed when Mark's response to the question of sex in a long term meaningful relationship was that you just need to deprioritize it... Why can't sex be amazing in a long term... In fact why isn't is even more amazing because it's an expression of real intimacy?

    •  27 дней назад +1

      1:00:13 Since her question focused on advising men whose main worry is losing sexual interest while focusing only on one partner aka being in a monogamous relationship, Mark said deprioritize sex because the guy in that relationship is way too focused on sex must stay good forever with his partner which creates stress fueled by fear and disappointment if his fear becomes reality. Nothing is guaranteed to stay the same way forever, matter of fact everything is subject to change (Buddhism). In this case not only her hormones, desires, priorities and body, but the guy’s hormones, desires, priorities and body too. Shift or change doesn’t always mean that it’s a negative thing.

    • @bubbastylin
      @bubbastylin 27 дней назад +3

      Ok... So are you saying deprioritize sex doesn't necessarily mean resign yourself to a worse sex life... But it means don't let it be the only thing that matters in a relationship?
      That would make sense
      But even in the way it's gets spoken about generally and the context of this podcast it feels like there is underlying assumption that sex gets worse in long term relationships and my naive (and perhaps wrong) belief is it should get better

    •  27 дней назад +2

      @@bubbastylin 1) Yes to your first question. 2) ​​⁠It doesn’t necessarily mean that sex will get worse later on. That is a possibility that we can’t rule out. I wouldn’t say it gets worse. Maybe less frequent. Generally as people age, their sexual desire decline, or when they have kids, priorities and energy levels shift. But I recommend you to watch this segment from the movie The Female Brain based on a book written by a neuropsychiatrist. I hope this will answer your question. Watch the link below from 3:46-4:08
      ruclips.net/video/x_kPtYHhHsc/видео.htmlsi=_uahXW92-ZC8Z7VT

    • @rayrwyr
      @rayrwyr 25 дней назад

      Advice to men who are in a committed long term relationship and having low s3x:
      F*ck deprioritization of s3x! Your partner has a low s3x drive *for you*. She lost her interest in s3x with *you*. But she has not lost it in general. This happens to women who feel too comfortable, secure, safe, and certain in a committed relationship. She knows you are not going anywhere. Note that women are s3xually maximally aroused when there is uncertainty, challenge, anxiety and fear. She must fear that she may lose you to her competition (a potentially younger hotter woman). Her fear of losing you, challenge to win you, anxiety of failing to keep you are what shoots up her s3x drive for you to the sky. Without those elements, she feels no s3x drive. This is the exact reason why all married women lose all interest in s3x with their nice guy dedicated devoted committed husbands. In fact these married women feel so bored that they cheat on their husbands with random azzhole dudes because those random dudes do not give a rat's azz about her.

  • @TheSeamstressMelbourne
    @TheSeamstressMelbourne 27 дней назад +9

    OkCupid matches folks based on personality quizzes and compatibility. However I never found that it was any good because I didn't find any of the suggested matches attractive. It seems like you guys are suggesting that attraction ought to be irrelevant? That folks ought to choose partners based on personality, and ignoring whether or not you find them attractive?

    • @leoingson
      @leoingson 23 дня назад

      OKcupid questions are rather irrelevant (to me), tho. Maybe I missed out, once it was good. Today it's a sh*tshow.

  • @crayonnnnnnn
    @crayonnnnnnn 28 дней назад +30

    @9:10 When I dated my current girlfriend 3 years ago, I was talking to 2 women on Tinder. One that has sexy photos and my girlfriend that has non-sexy photos. At first I immediately wanted to date the other one, of course because of the sexy photos. In the end that person ghosted me and I met my girlfriend. She was technically my "second choice", but DAMN that was the best thing that has happenened to me. She is kind, empathetic, humble, an amazing mother and she is beyond everything I ever dreamed of for a partner. She is definitely the love of my life and now it feels so absurd to think that she was my "second choice" just because of the photos.

    • @goddessvibes08
      @goddessvibes08 27 дней назад +16

      You don't deserve her

    • @ashutosh__018
      @ashutosh__018 27 дней назад +1

      Nice!!

    • @crayonnnnnnn
      @crayonnnnnnn 27 дней назад +14

      @@goddessvibes08 I know. But i'm 100% willing to spend all my life doing my best to deserve her :)

    • @goddessvibes08
      @goddessvibes08 27 дней назад +15

      @@crayonnnnnnn didn't expect the ownership 👍 take care

    • @rayrwyr
      @rayrwyr 25 дней назад

      If you pedestalize her too much, she will leave you.

  • @LazerMarsupial
    @LazerMarsupial 10 дней назад +1

    So I am 38, never had any real good relationships. Gave up on the whole thing 4 years, just accepted and laid back and build myself a calm nice life. Watching this was an eyeopener, not like i want to date again, but that I should maybe be happy for what I have and when meeting people try to be more present. Thanks all three..

  • @yappachini
    @yappachini 28 дней назад +28

    Where do i apply for Drew? 😂

    • @vital.elements
      @vital.elements 28 дней назад +8

      I'm not dating, but I'd appreciate knowing a man like Drew with the wisdom and restraint to stay offline like he does. Respect 💪✨️

  • @kendrickawesomeness
    @kendrickawesomeness 28 дней назад +3

    I've been waiting for a dating episode, I needed this!!

  • @neranderthal
    @neranderthal 25 дней назад +1

    Absolutely hit the nail on the head with these. Everyone who primarily dates online needs to see this!

  • @Wiseguy00
    @Wiseguy00 22 дня назад +2

    Seems like an oxymoron to suggest opposite sex friendships, and then also say “get to know a person’s personality first, and the attraction can grow from that” (paraphrasing)
    But if you believe that attraction can grow organically between man and woman and that creates the best relationships, then why would i want my significant other having friends of the opposite sex? Which is only Increasing the chance for feelings to grow

  •  27 дней назад +5

    I feel like the guest in this episode stated some facts that are common sense; she also learned a lot from Mark about men by asking questions about his previous job as a dating coach, which he stopped doing almost a decade ago. Kind of like when Steven Rogers (iykyk) woke up after being asleep for 70 years and tried to catch up to the rest of the world”

    • @collegerebel
      @collegerebel 23 дня назад +1

      I understood that reference.

  • @adrianblaze
    @adrianblaze 25 дней назад +22

    Friendships between men and women almost always have at least one situation where, one party or both, at one point or another, has thought about the other in a sexual way. From a commitment and trust perspective, this makes relationships with the opposite sex challenging for me.

    • @HoneyHoops-ig9ws
      @HoneyHoops-ig9ws 23 дня назад +6

      exactly. i think she means acquaintance . sadia doesnt drink alcohol due to her faith so shes not mixing with men at clubs

    • @JaysonT1
      @JaysonT1 23 дня назад

      Pure BS.

  • @hadiakbary410
    @hadiakbary410 27 дней назад

    It is always great to see and hear mark, there is this coolness in him that makes me calm to listen to.

  • @CamelliaYang
    @CamelliaYang 23 дня назад +4

    I stopped using dating apps in 2021 because they are so fake and a waste of time. Now I just like Drew to meet new people through friends and via travel and participating in sports and other social events. Life is getting much better.

  • @DuskDaimon
    @DuskDaimon 27 дней назад +16

    @48:40 (onward). This is especially on point... few are willing to accept anything less than perfection from the very start, being unwilling to compromise or adapt, while also not allowing any room for future improvement. We're all a work in progress and it's not settling to meet someone in the middle... if you really like (or love) someone, you'll be willing to fight to keep each other. Having empathy, accepting each other, and at times changing for the better and compromising.. none of these things has to be negative 🥺

  • @jennmello8829
    @jennmello8829 28 дней назад +21

    So Sadia has gone on Andrew Tate’s podcast, chummed up with him, and seems to think he’s a “great guy” - I see her everywhere, but I refuse to listen to a woman who publicly supports a predator. I’m not even talking about any crimes he’s been accused of. He’s innocent until proven guilty. I’m talking about his standard disrespectful harmful rhetoric, and the grift he plays on gullible men, who then use his toxic nonsense to interact with women.

  • @rohamasood5493
    @rohamasood5493 23 дня назад +1

    I learned so much from this podcast it's nuts. Wonderful job all of you!

  • @vijai-gf4ub
    @vijai-gf4ub 24 дня назад +1

    Really loved the content!, I see some of the key take away are like emotional maturity, self-stream and a good level of self-awareness.

  • @deniel25
    @deniel25 28 дней назад +8

    What I hate about watching these kind of videos is that they are so insightful yet I fail to take action on those insights. I'm limiting self help content to let the lessons I Iearn sink in but it ultimately hasn't brought any meaningful change to my daily life.

    • @Gem8200
      @Gem8200 27 дней назад +8

      @deniel25: It's not really your fault. You're listening to three people whose perspectives are shaped by their privileged life situations, which are different from yours.
      We can't simply adopt their ways of thinking and acting just by listening to them. Your actions are influenced by your own experiences and neurobiology, which differ from theirs. It's never a fair comparison. It's good to listen and take what you can from them, but don't guilt yourself. You're here, watching, and trying to better yourself. That's something.

    • @RikisVlogs
      @RikisVlogs 27 дней назад +1

      Delete RUclips, delete your socials, focus on 3 things you want to accomplish, get chat gpt to make you a schedule based on those 3 things and work on them. Spend sometime creating, if you consume, consume learning. I deleted social media but got stuck on breadtube and self help content. At the end of the day Is entertainment, no matter what it is. The people around you, your neighborhood is way more valuable than these 3 people sitting and talking about millions of people’s consciousness and beliefs. Live in your own timeline ❤

    • @deniel25
      @deniel25 27 дней назад +1

      @@Gem8200 True, I just wish I could see more progress, it's been so long on this "working and improving yourself" thing.

    • @rayrwyr
      @rayrwyr 25 дней назад +1

      This video has 50% good advice mixed with 50% bad advice. So be careful.

    • @kimfranklin
      @kimfranklin 25 дней назад +1

      @@deniel25 Somehow, I don't think there is an end. I don't mean that to sound depressing, for me it is actually quite freeing. I love the idea that we have the rest of our lives to work at all of this.1% each day - persistence, consistency, resilience - will add up. You'd be surprised where small steps can take you. Get organised, be realistic. You might fail some days and that's okay. Just keep going, try again tomorrow. Give yourself some acknowledgement - it takes a lot to be in the business of improving yourself. Many people don't bother and are content to blame others for their situation. I also agree with the other commenter here, you can listen all you want to the help gurus, but at some point you need to DO something differently to see a difference. Advice alone wont cut it. Positive consistent action will.

  • @konspiracy9953
    @konspiracy9953 25 дней назад +4

    Quite a few generalizations being thrown around in this conversation. Additionally, you can’t logic attraction - it is attraction not deductive reasoning.

  • @claudiafaria591
    @claudiafaria591 26 дней назад

    Always love your choices of topics and how enlightening you guys are and also your guests. Thanks again for another great interview.

  • @MrHoll87
    @MrHoll87 15 дней назад +1

    25:05 THANK YOU. It's what I call the difference between "hot" and "sexy". A "hot" woman is someone who physically LOOKS attractive, but that doesn't mean you wanna smash and even the thought of making out with her feels weird. A "sexy" woman may not be physically attractive, she might even be quite a bit over weight, but there's just something about her that drives you crazy with lust
    I realized this YEARS ago and I've literally never heard anyone else even mention it. No friends or family, not even other "dating coaches" or "experts" have ever brought this up and I was beginning to think I was the only one who noticed it. Thank you for articulating this so perfectly.

  • @whyisntitpossible404
    @whyisntitpossible404 22 дня назад +6

    I've heard that Sadia doesn't exactly have valid credentials to be a dating and relationship coach. While I'm not exactly sure what those credentials would be, there's a fair amount of speculation on the Internet that she's a fraud. Has anyone heard anything similar?

    • @rukicowgal1
      @rukicowgal1 21 день назад

      yeah from haters she worked as a psychologist in my sons school and we met her many times for his progress

  • @julieeeeeee7
    @julieeeeeee7 22 дня назад +4

    Love this podcast for the most part, but this was a miss for me. Sadia made many generalizations and stated them too matter of factly. I was waiting and waiting for gems, but her points sounded uninformed and a bit messy. I appreciated Mark sharing his journey through maturation. Drew was great, as always!

  • @SWISSVERSE
    @SWISSVERSE 28 дней назад +1

    What an unlikely combo for a conversation but really great!

  • @Mariedumont
    @Mariedumont 18 дней назад

    This schocked me so MUCH! 17:53 . A new door in my mind was now opened and what's behind is an endless universe. thank u.

    • @StudlyStudmuffin
      @StudlyStudmuffin 17 дней назад +1

      It's not 100% true. I love beautiful/ hot girls and could care less about impressing other guys. I do, on the other hand, seek female validation.

  • @reneegreenman6846
    @reneegreenman6846 27 дней назад +6

    Please refer to Dr Ramani Durvasela regarding understanding Narcissism because I think you are not accurate with your understanding of this bahaviour and spectrum of it.

    • @jaytierney
      @jaytierney 10 дней назад

      Seriously. The comment about older men dating younger women and thus driving them into narcissism was so completely misguided. That's not how it works.

  •  27 дней назад +5

    12:18 Mark’s suggestion for a new dating app is called Bantr in the show Ted Lasso

  • @tommyt1785
    @tommyt1785 28 дней назад +25

    29:00 'I discovered there's this thing called a glory hole just 2 weeks ago!'
    Sure Sadia, sure

    • @JaysonT1
      @JaysonT1 28 дней назад

      Lol! IKR? I trust her as fall as I can throw her.

    • @sCiphre
      @sCiphre 27 дней назад

      Even if it's true, it just shows how clueless she is. But it's probably not so she's also lying. Why would anyone take advice from her? And the ageism at minute 34 ish... Ugh. Train wreck of a video.

    • @tokotams
      @tokotams 27 дней назад +3

      I mean I didn't know what 'it' was until today (personally I had to Google it during the podcast if I'm being honest). Now I'm pretty sure I might have seen such "content" pop up on sites sometimes but, since I'm not really into it I had no intention to dig deeper and thus had no idea that it's called a "Glory hole" lmao.

    • @kizunaryuvermillion
      @kizunaryuvermillion 18 дней назад

      ​​​​@@tokotamsSame and I did not wanna know that so i didn't google (+ I'm lazy plus i multi-task) so I'll hopefully forget about it as i always do about the things that aren't repeatedly talked about in my life because i have a lot more things to worry & talk about than remembering definitions of things like these & there are too many nonsensical things online I'd rather not know the meaning of.
      -And presumptions that everyone "must" know what XYZ means & if they don't they're either stupid/pretending not to know/lying is the most annoying thing I see socially because if the truth is boring no one cares & they WILL prefer controversial lies because those are spicy. "eg. Gave highschoolers a random name to tease me with" and no one questioned it was a lie, and whenever I deny relationship they ask 10 different questions wondering why.
      - I know married people that don't know any thing except the usual because they have personal hardships & growth kids and more to work on than worry about what's that thing popular online (pretty sure these things don't exist everywhere either).
      - So I feel like people are in a bubble, and I'd rather be in a better bubble "be shocked by how people don't care about sustainability than being shocked by definitions of things people don't know"😅

    • @kizunaryuvermillion
      @kizunaryuvermillion 18 дней назад

      ​@@tokotamsSame and I didn't wanna know so i didn't google (+ I'm lazy plus i multi-task) hopefully I'll forget about it as i always do about the things that aren't repeatedly talked about in my life because i have a lot more things to worry & talk about than remembering definitions of things like these.
      🔹And presumptions that everyone "must" know what XYZ means & if they don't they're either stupid/pretending not to know just because large part in certain community knows it is the most annoying thing I see socially. because if the truth is boring no one cares & they WILL prefer controversial lies because those are spicy. "eg. Gave highschoolers a random name to tease me with" and no one questioned it was a lie, and whenever I deny relationship they ask 10 different questions wondering why.
      - I know married people that don't know any thing except the usual because they have personal hardships & growth kids and more to work on than worry about what's that thing popular online (pretty sure these things don't exist everywhere either).
      🔹So I feel like people are in a bubble, and I'd rather be in a better bubble "be shocked by how people don't care about sustainability than being shocked by definitions of things people don't know"😅

  • @ACM9407
    @ACM9407 День назад

    Absolutely knockout video! I listen to Sadia very frequently, so I was hesitant to click on the video because I figured I had heard it all…Boy was I wrong! This has been one of the most insightful videos for me because I see myself in a lot of what was being discussed, particularly, by Mark. What an eye opening discussion!

  • @PC-ds6zk
    @PC-ds6zk 28 дней назад +3

    This issue exists because most people value everything external to themselves. Root of it all being insecurity. Basing worth on external is a constant battle because society is always changing. We need to be valuing and honoring ourselves as that is where it all starts

  • @Themayakay
    @Themayakay 28 дней назад +27

    Ah I absolutely love when my favorite internet people get together and talk 🎉❤

    • @sufferbetter1387
      @sufferbetter1387 28 дней назад

      True❤

    • @themacocko6311
      @themacocko6311 28 дней назад

      The fact that you have favorite internet people is concerning.

    • @cytroyd
      @cytroyd 28 дней назад +4

      @@themacocko6311 Are you salty that you are not one of her favorite internet people

    • @themacocko6311
      @themacocko6311 24 дня назад

      ​@@cytroydLike I would be on the internet. 99% are talentless attention seeking smucks.

  • @sjoncb
    @sjoncb 21 день назад +2

    Marriage is parallel with the current state of an economic system.
    Divorce is a business.

  • @dblakeman
    @dblakeman 27 дней назад

    This was a great conversation. Thank you!

  • @IesfioI
    @IesfioI 22 дня назад +14

    Frankly quite dissapointed with the fact that you've brought her on without some due diligence first Mark, given that her qualifications are suspect (the certificates look forged), and there's evidence of her harrassing other people in this space

    • @rukicowgal1
      @rukicowgal1 21 день назад

      how can she work in instututions in london if she had fake qualifcations stop lying to yourself you fool

    • @tiktokfamous3446
      @tiktokfamous3446 20 дней назад

      She’s explained that on a recent podcast. Stop being a jealous freak

  • @edgreen8140
    @edgreen8140 26 дней назад +4

    As a psychologist i have heard her speak. Not a fan. Really where was she trained and why is she only on you tube. No clinical work?

  • @adrienns758
    @adrienns758 19 дней назад

    So happy to found you here Mark Manson. I read your book and a big fan!

  • @amparovillalta6465
    @amparovillalta6465 24 дня назад

    Finally you got to do an interview with her... Thank You!

  • @undercover3808
    @undercover3808 28 дней назад +4

    Can't believe this combination happened !

  • @footballfandom7904
    @footballfandom7904 28 дней назад +5

    This was a solid episode and a good conversation; however, the quality of guests you’ve had on lately Mark had massively dropped off. For the 3rd time in the last five episodes, I kinda felt like this was a waste of time. Fortunately I’ve been gifted with years of great content from you, so that a month of average shows feels terrible, but please Mark, you can do better!

  • @insightfultechreviews01
    @insightfultechreviews01 27 дней назад

    Wow, this conversation was eye-opening! 🎧
    The insights from Sadia Khan on how modern dating skills often sabotage long-term happiness are spot on.
    I found the discussion on the role of self-esteem in relationships particularly enlightening.
    It's fascinating (and a bit terrifying) how dating apps and social media shape our expectations in such skewed ways. 🤯
    One thing that really resonated with me was the part about oversexualization and how it affects our connections.
    It's so true that meaningful relationships often get sidelined in this hyper-sexualized culture. 😢
    Also, the bit about male-female friendships and what men's dating advice gets wrong was a fresh take that we don't hear often enough.
    For anyone looking to navigate the chaos of modern dating, this podcast is a must-listen.
    Thanks, Mark and Sadia, for such a thought-provoking episode!
    To everyone reading this, what was your biggest takeaway from this discussion?
    Let's get a conversation going! 🔥
    P.S. If you're struggling with these dating issues, Sadia's approach might just be what you need to hear. 💡

  • @MrGreen-oi5ey
    @MrGreen-oi5ey 19 дней назад

    Great conversation! Felt like I was there talking with you guys! 👍

  • @ggrthemostgodless8713
    @ggrthemostgodless8713 26 дней назад +4

    36:55
    Is not either/or... you can do both... these dualities where they present only two options is pathetic and they do it all throughout the video. As if in anything there are only two options!!
    These people cannot accept men want SEX but not the woman and a relationship, and thus they wanna make it shameful.

  • @vira1340
    @vira1340 26 дней назад +3

    Legalize sex work. That way when a man is dating you know he is actually there for connection and meaning. Young men will always prioritize sex over connection. But this solution scares the wits out of women because they know then they will have to up their game and provide men something other than sex Women intuitively understand this. That is why women oppose sex work. Of course they couch their opposition in a lot of virtue signaling fluff.

  • @vero8496
    @vero8496 3 дня назад +1

    I haven't watch this video yet. I just read a lot of the comments and came up with my own answer. After 2 marriages, currently dating an awsome guy. Dating is like gambling you win, you loose and the win big. You gotta be careful when you find someone who truly matters. Take the jackpot and run out. Don't play no more!
    And no l am not a gambler. But in the game of love l had taken my chances. ❤

  • @l.carlossimental6096
    @l.carlossimental6096 27 дней назад

    What works for me is being in a loving and trusting relationship and both of us following two rules, 1) if you mess up, fess up; and 2) never go to bed angry, which means apply rule 1 as soon as possible so your partner doesn’t go to bed that night pissed off and building resentment against you.

  • @terezazovincova8987
    @terezazovincova8987 28 дней назад +3

    I love Sadia and listen to probably every podcast she went on and honestly I’ve never seen her more relaxed. Loved it! Amazing episode

  • @thevaluesandmen
    @thevaluesandmen 27 дней назад +4

    People are giving up on relationship and dating because they want the easy way. People are too used to convenience and have lost the ability not only to think critically but to overcome hardship.

    • @Photik
      @Photik 18 дней назад

      Nah, it's the ease of having choices and feeling that people are disposable or something.

    • @thevaluesandmen
      @thevaluesandmen 2 дня назад

      @@Photik That too

  • @angelahuntley807
    @angelahuntley807 День назад

    Such valuable content👏!! Deeper connections are so much more fulfilling!! Love the podcast!! All 3 of you are real and relatable!!

  • @melaniep6543
    @melaniep6543 23 дня назад

    This was a great video and I definitely agreed with their view points. I’m not sure it gives me much hope that I’ll find my forever person though. After encountering so many bad relationships etc it’s hard to be optimistic in such a tainted world.

  • @startrooper0016
    @startrooper0016 28 дней назад +3

    Unrealistic high expectations in my partner was the reason our otherwise healthy relationship fell apart. It's unfortunate. Reminds me of an iceberg hitting the titanic.

  • @sanxi34
    @sanxi34 26 дней назад +1

    Listening to this podcast and other content that talk about the current dating context, I am so happy that somehow my intuition drove me to seek partners that were my type in terms on who they are as a person. My wife now is incredibly sexually attractive, even if she would qualify as average in any misogynistic scale. But we have built an incredibly strong partnership and I am so thankful to and for her =)

  • @MTXCPL
    @MTXCPL 28 дней назад +15

    Wow his book models is rated 4,7 on amazon, i will definitely give it a read!

    • @jonathanmelhuish4530
      @jonathanmelhuish4530 28 дней назад +5

      Yes, it's one of the few pieces of Sadia's advice I agree on: "skip this podcast and go buy that book". It's pretty awesome.

    • @mikescardiaries
      @mikescardiaries 28 дней назад +1

      Yes it's a great book, but it's not going to fix the current state of dating.

    • @anon4388
      @anon4388 27 дней назад +2

      ​@@mikescardiaries you know what wont help your dating life? Going around and complaining on "the state if dating". Yeah its rough, but saying that it doesn't matter what you do because the dating scene or women or whatever is shit is goibg to leave you bitter, resentful and alone

    • @MTXCPL
      @MTXCPL 26 дней назад

      Totally agree, take some responsibility for the situation your in bro. Dont go around pointing fingers it will take all the fun out of the game

  • @victorhankinson1530
    @victorhankinson1530 28 дней назад +8

    Hmm this was a very interesting conversation. However - the take of “deprioritizing sex” seems fairly useless to me. My partner typically has a low sex drive and it really breaks my trust in having kids together which we both want. I know I’m selfish in this way but I have yet to figure out a solution for this. I can reliably make her come with hands, fingers / mouth and do most of the cooking. Still get rebuffed 80% plus. Every long term relationship I see seems to be a monogamy trap and my experience fits. The advice is to grow up and stop caring about sex? Sounds like a crappy existence to me. Sure - I’ll dedicate my life and we’ll have sex 10 times a year. She’s like sure you can use porn. Great, feeling the love👍

    • @hermann5347
      @hermann5347 26 дней назад

      I get where they are coming from. Sex is not everything. Some people need to hear this. But frankly, most don´t. They say that, because they are projecting from their own experience and their own environment, where people were obsessed about sex. I mean he was a pickup artist and she seems to talk mostly with gold diggers in dubai.
      As a normal person it is fully legitimate to expect a certain degree of satisfaction with your sex life in a relationship. To actl ike it doesn´t matter or that you should basically ignore it, is just bullshit.

    • @rayrwyr
      @rayrwyr 25 дней назад

      Hey man, stop believing Mark's crap. He and Sadia both gave a lot of bad advice in this video. Remember that Mark's brazilian wife probably drains his balls every night. So he will not know what a s3x-less existence is like.
      My advice to you: Your partner has a low s3x drive *for you*. She lost her interest in s3x with *you*. But she has not lost it in general. This happens to women who feel too comfortable, secure, safe, and certain in a committed relationship. She knows you are not going anywhere. Note that women are s3xually maximally aroused when there is uncertainty, challenge, anxiety and fear. She must fear that she may lose you to her competition (a potentially younger hotter woman). Her fear of losing you, challenge to win you, anxiety of failing to keep you are what shoots up her s3x drive for you to the sky. Without those elements, she feels no s3x drive. This is the exact reason why all married women lose all interest in s3x with their nice guy dedicated devoted committed husbands. In fact these married women feel so bored that they cheat on their husbands with random azzhole dudes because those random dudes do not give a rat's azz about her.

    • @sebastiaanstok
      @sebastiaanstok 22 дня назад

      If you plan on having kids the story is different, I think Mark was talking more about making sex a central part of the relationship to fix things or build connection (only though sex itself). Sex is part of building connection but in Avoidant personality disorder it can also be used to avoid connecting as one only engages in sex but without emotional connection (like friends with benefits).
      For women there is a big need for security and to feel appreciated (as a whole), engaging only in sex without a deeper emotional connection only works on the surface for her, but it doesn't work longtime as it feels she is being used for her body. Women are emotional creatures as much as men, but feel there emotions more intensely due to estrogen.
      Ask here what you could do to make her feel more secure or connected, as this might be the thing she feels is missing (even though it is there, objectively).

  • @Goodtimes98
    @Goodtimes98 27 дней назад +4

    I don't know how this woman keeps tricking people into buying her fraudulent claim that she's a psychologist

  • @CarTubeVibes
    @CarTubeVibes 27 дней назад +4

    Didn't get the point of this episode, sadly. The first of this podcast where I couldn't even listen to the end.