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I Can't Get Over My Ex Wife | How to Let Your Wife Go
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- Опубликовано: 12 апр 2021
- Would you like to finally get over your ex wife and move on with your life? If you’ve gone through a divorce and want to live a fully, happy life you have to stop reliving the past and learn how to let your wife go. When clients tell me, "I can’t get over my ex wife" I know that there are just two simple things they need to move on with confidence:
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Your divorce can either be the nail in your coffin, or it can be the catalyst you use to finally confront and heal your emotional wounds so they don't kneecap your relationships.
You can become the best version of yourself and take control of your future. And now you can get access to the same step by step, proven system that has already helped hundreds of men do just that, inside the Better Beyond Divorce App.
GET ACCESS TO THE BETTER BEYOND DIVORCE APP NOW:
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Additional Resources
Free Masterclass: HOW TO TAKE BACK CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE AFTER DIVORCE
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Guide: Emotional Stages of Divorce for Men & How to Heal within Each Stage
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Dating After Divorce Checklist: Are you ready to date after your divorce?
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Work with Me
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Helpful Books for Divorced Men (affiliate links)
► The Full Body Presence - Gives gentle, accessible exercises for somatic processing of emotional pain and trauma amzn.to/3umFPkj
► The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time amzn.to/3F326IS
► Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself - Concrete tools and exercises for rewiring the brain and reimagining your sense of self and purpose amzn.to/3BaDyg9
► Legendary - Inspiration and a powerful perspective for stepping into your potential amzn.to/3H6ofsF
► The Myth Of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture - Brilliant, in every way. This is an amazing resource for understanding yourself and your ex wife and finding the clarity or compassion you need to forgive. amzn.to/3UxdsuC
► Lost Connections: Why You're Depressed and How to Find Help - Intense and well researched. I would recommend this book when you are past the early stages of divorce and have a stable support system in place. amzn.to/3VNMOi7
I’m Rachael Sloan, Master NLP Practitioner, certified life coach, and the creator of Better Beyond Divorce. I've helped hundreds of men move past the shock, betrayal, grief and anger they experience both during and after a divorce, to a place of clarity, calm and confidence. I hope to help you do the same.
DISCLAIMER: I am a Master NLP Practitioner and personal growth mentor. The material in this video represents my understanding and experience and nothing more. This content is not meant to replace professional medical advice, treatment or diagnosis. Always consult your medical provider before making any changes to your treatment.
There aren’t enough resources out there providing help for men moving on (or trying to move on). That’s why I made this video. I’ll help you understand why it’s so hard to get over wife leaving you, and specifically how to let your wife go so you can move on with confidence.
To let marriage go and start looking towards the future, you have to break a subconscious cycle that makes it hard to stop reliving the past. This cycle starts with confusion about why your wife left you. Most men are blindsided by divorce, which isn’t their fault.
Men and women experience very different emotional conditioning, which simply means that men tend to avoid or ignore emotions as much as possible (which is necessary to be the strong, powerful, sexy man that society says you need to be to succeed in life and love) while women tend to rely on emotion (which is necessary for them to be empathetic, compassionate and keep the peace in relationships).
This sets men and women up to have a LOT of misunderstandings. It also is the main reason men are blindsided by divorce. You’re not aware of the emotional cues or the seriousness with which she takes the problems in your marriage so you certainly weren’t considering the idea that she would leave!
What does this have to do with getting over your wife? To get over wife leaving you it helps to understand why she left. When you don’t have that clarity, you second guess yourself. You doubt yourself and lose your confidence. You start to internalize all the things your ex wife accuses you of.
I’m 4 weeks into the start of divorce. It’s beyond painful. I can’t stop thinking about her.
Same here brother! It's hard but we have to still keep pushing!
@@stanmoney8470 I'm giving up. Too devastating to live. Good luck.
I can't even begin to let go casue it was out of the blue after 23 years. So broken
@the family man 17 years 2 kids.. you're not alone brother.. far from it
How can you let go when all you see is her
I been blindside by my wife of 25 years with 2 kids . In process of getting divorce and pain unbearable right now.
I’m a broken man
I'm right there with you, 2 months in. 3 kids (her 1st the I adopted who I view no different then mine) and my youngest is getting ready to graduate.
We never were anything but a family and finally getting to the point that it was going to be just me and her and she's leaving, I don't understand.
I’m right here with you guys, 18 years and boom it’s gone, we can get through this, we will get through this and have a way better life, I know it seems impossible now, just believe in yourself and stay strong.
5 years. 3 year old daughter abducted for 2 years now. I don’t feel anything anymore…
I’m so sorry. I feel the same. Hurts so bad.
It’s really hard to deal with !!
The pain never goes away, time heals nothing.
It's what you do with that time that heals you.
My wife cheated on me and fell “in love” and got dumped after he got what he wanted. I wanted to work through it. Years later not properly dealing with the pain and trauma has caused her to leave for good.
About to start the divorce process now after 3 months of separation. I’ve thought about ending my pain many times. 13 years been together since I was 16, for nothing.
Not for nothing buddy, you learned a great lesson and you hsve survived your worst nightmare! That makes you unstoppable. Now you just work on rebuilding yourself. You hsve to love yourself before anyone else will. So stand up and become the Man you want to be, you can achieve this in a few ways but I found educating yourself on how your body and mind work is number 1. Once you understand why ots happening and realize it just chemicals being released into your body from a little bean In your brain, you can start to disconnect from those feelings!
Im going through the processes myself brother, 6 years here. Ive internalized every thing myself and sought out conciliating myself with out her since she does not want to commit to any form of responsibility.
If she does not love you, then she does not love you. Internalize it, embrace it, and let it go as she did you. I was a good man and i let her know the other day that she is the reason why good men have left the marriage scene. She has made her decisions in life and im letting her finally let the world hit her in the face. She is not liking the fact that she needs to in effect get 2 jobs now to survive and her family has shunned her for her online work that occurred throughout the marriage and even in their own home.
Say good riddance to bad rubbish my friend. They have already said it to you and inflict their problems onto you. Stay strong, the issue may be unique to you but the issue is not unique to the world. we are here for your brother. Stand tall and know that you died a death in love only to rise again like the phoenix not to just survive but to thrive in your newfound freedom and opportunity to pursue yourself instead of a traitor to your soul.
Man your not alone remember that. I felt the same pain and still do. Let's stick it out ending it over some hoe lol
29...
No problem...
I was with mine 17 years and I did it.9 months and I was cherry.The chicks were plentiful....
Found another and stayed with her 8 years.We are 1 1/2 years into she wants a divorce kinda...
I'm 51 and have hope I will find another.
Think of her flaws...
Her farts..
Her hang overs...
Her lies..
Her fat belly and jelly rolls..
Her smelly breath...
Her terrible cooking..
She don't know the difference between:2,two,to,too...
The time she wrecked all the cars..
Let's stay together guys , I am in my mid sixties. Going to stay positive. Keep myself occupied. Recently started yoga , good for the mind . Keep busy , it will be her loss .
I love your attitude. There are opportunities in this, even though they're hard to see right now. Do you have some good support on your side to help you stay focused on the positive and the next steps?
Thanks Rachel , it's still very fresh in my mind , had a few dates but having no luck . Should I just get myself right first . My age puts me under pressure. I feel I will loose out .
@@savtheman19 you're welcome. Thank you for sharing such a hopeful outlook and determination. I can understand the age pressure, a lot of my clients feel that age pressure too.
Unfortunately if you focus on the dating but don't have yourself quite right it can slow the whole thing down.
If you'd like support accelerating the process, I just opened up enrollment in a 90 day intensive coaching program that is designed to speed the whole process up with daily exercises, lots of coaching and support and a strategic, step by step process to rebalance the nervous system, clear your head and create a strong internal foundation from which you can move forward into new relationships more successfully.
You can book a discovery call to talk about with me more here: calendly.com/rachaelsloan/discovery-call-for-bbd-foundations
I was sleeping and woke up thinking I was hugging her, this kind of things put me back where I started
What if you never get clarity? You try so hard everyday, then, one day your whole world is upside down. Try to be a father and husband/provider for most of your life and then it’s gone?!? No explanation. Just gone. Vacations, Holidays, birthdays and happiness. Gone…
Hi Jason, my apologies for a slow reply. This is a hard one. I'm sorry you're going through it.
There's not a simple, magic wand kind of solution. This is going to be difficult and moving forward and letting go is going to take some real effort. But it can be done.
The details are beyond the scope of a YT comment, but it has to start with working through the many difficult and painful emotions coming up for you right now. I would recommend seeking support with that piece. You need to help your nervous system stay regulated so that it doesn't go into fight/flight when you experience grief, regret, guilt, anger or fear.
After that we've got to do some work around identity, understanding how you've defined yourself, how you've understood yourself and who you are now, in this moment. There is also work to be done around your brain's story about why she left, even if you don't know the answer.
This is a process, to be sure, but you can come out the other side. If you'd like to discuss it in more detail and see if coaching would be a good source of support for you along the way, you can reach out to me to book a consultation, either by email at rachael@rachaelsloancoaching.com or directly through my calendar calendly.com/rachaelsloan/strategy
Married for twenty one years and have five kids together. My wife left me, our kids, and even her family three years tomorrow. She got remarried a year ago yesterday. And I still miss her terribly. She told me, after she left, she was “unhappy”. Why not have a conversation before leaving? She expected me to read her mind. I was blindsided too. When fighting for our marriage, it made me realize how much I truly love her. I wished I could have had a second chance to win her heart, before she left.
Men, never take your wife for granted. Love and cherish her!!
I’m in year 5 of being divorced and still feel hollow basically killing myself by myself and seeing her married again and successfully happy. She left me when our daughter was 2 months old… the main thing about my 6 year old now is I’m so proud that I’ve become an amazing father. But within costs of the joint custody monthly pay and alone it’s still hard and I don’t know how to go on. I just want to rewind my life
Hi Mike, it sounds like your nervous system needs support. You've been through a lot, and you deserve to heal and move forward. Your daughter also deserves a afther who feels whole and happy, and who isn't killing himself by himself.
If you have access to therapy or counseling in any form, please take it. Engage in the process and let the relationship help your nervous system balance.
If you'd like my support, you can also download my app. It's free to get started, and you can get a lot of great resources in the free version: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/bbd-free-app
Thank you for watching and commenting. I hope you'll reach out and get some support, it makes a huge difference for the nervous system which will help you recover.
It's been 3 years.... I still miss her.
It will be 4 years in October and I still miss my wife. I've tried online dating but still in a rut and still in love with her. I have my 15 year old son with me and I'm very lonely
@penntuckian I'm sorry, bud. Online dating sucks. It's hard meeting people irl now, but those tend to be the relationships that grow the strongest. Dating is totally different than it used to be. I recommend joining some local groups. Events and adventures was a lot of fun, not sure if there's something like that where you live.
Its been 5 and i miss her
So I am not alone... Its been 6 years... she didn't have anybody..she was taking care of our 3 kids nicely. it was a kind of status quo....iI was getting nicely over the grief cycle...
, but last week got the info that she has got somebody in her life.
The grief cycle has started again. I Fucking hate this shit...
My wife left me for a women. Hardest thing I've ever been thru.. It will be 4 years in October and it's still hard. I still love her n miss her.. I've tried online dating and still stuck in the rut of depression and loneliness. I've self medicated with alcohol to deal with it and I'm tired of all of it.
Hold on my brother! Just remember that it's a few of us are going thru it too. You just reminded me, that I'm not the only one feeling this pain. The killer thing is my ex don't even care how this hurts me! There some selfish MF! But with that it helps me for a lil while to keep pushing. Right now she doesn't care about me! Maybe after guys reject her and hurt her then she will realize my value. But unfortunately it will be to late by then.
My ex unfortunately didn't leave me for a woman, but another man. A woman might have been easier actually because then it would have been clear/obvious that she needed something I just couldn't give her. I can change my behavior but I can't be a woman for her.
But this way it give me the necessary kick in the ass to get me out of the rut I was in and made me confront my mistakes and work on improving myself. Still a work-in-progress right now though.
If it wasn't for the pain the divorce caused our daughter, the whole family it robbed her of, I might have even have been kind of/a little bit thankful. She definitely had her problems as well and I was content accepting hers, but apparently that road only went one way. Now I intend to get out of this experience better/stronger than I went into it.
@@panad0r some women don't love us enough to wait for the improvement in us . Then they get jealous when the woman has the improved guy.
F*** that b**** get mad and do not blame yourself. She wronged you brother! You are loved by your brothers
Remember this brothers.
Embrace the hate, let it flow through you and direct it. Use your pain to fuel your ambitions. Use the hate and rage to make gains in yourself. You only loose if you let yourself loose. Fight and keep on fighting the world. Struggle, claw, rip and tear at life with everything that has been done to you and flip it the bird. Embrace what uniquely makes you a man and know that no other can bring you down lower than life has to this point. So there is no where but to go forward to victory and glory. They have left you for dead. So show the world what a dead man with the will to live can do.
My wife was nearly constantly angry with me for about two years, then she turned her anger on our son who was himself going through some difficulties at the time.. Finally I asked her to leave, I was at the end of my tether. It came as a complete shock to her, she never forgave me and ultimately we divorced. I concluded that I should have set boundaries earlier to let her know that her constant anger and dissatisfaction with everything that I did was unacceptable.
Very good video by the way.
Woman need leadership but say they want independence. Wives need boundaries put on em and reput cuz they love to challenge us. Hence the anger. My bro started the fights to trigger his woman so she doesn’t get the satisfaction. She got a challenge. When we don’t stand up to them they lose respect. It’s exhausting but worth it.
i had a great friend in my childhood and havn't seen her in over 20 years, i miss her badly, she was the best what ever happened to me and the destiny seperated us for no reason and she was my soulmate
I feel used!! I always fought for my marriage! Divorce was never an option for me! I have no closure and it’s driving me crazy! Men are not protected by the courts when it comes to divorce! It’s said that half of marriages end up in divorce especially when the man really tries to keep his wife happy and secure!
I know the feel, bro. You are not alone. Focus on what you have, what you can control, and the present. Endure, and forgive. Through forgiveness you find peace and acceptance. Start with yourself. Then move onto her and whoever else played a part in your story. Write it down if you have to. Acknowledge the good, thank, let go of the bad, and move on. You'll get through this! You are strong, valuable, and deserving of happiness and success! This won't trump your kindness and fortitude! Better days are ahead for all of us, you'll see!
It’s going to hurt. Just know you will be stronger in the end. You grow both mentally and physically through pain. Trust God and let him do the heavy lifting for you.
It’s been ten months and I still miss her just as much as day 1. I miss her so much, I want to work it out, but she wants to move on. I can’t believe she’s willing to just end it after everything we’ve been through
Hi Tom, I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. I can hear how hard it is to accept her decision. If you'd like to talk and see if I can help, you're welcome to reach out to me directly at rachael@rachaelsloancoaching.com or you can access my calendar to book a consultation call here: calendly.com/rachaelsloan/strategy
I'd love to help if I can.
It's been almost 2 years since the separation. (Divorce pending) and almost every single night I have dreams about her and I getting back together and I feel so at peace in those dreams. Then I wake up and realize it will never happen. A 20 year marriage with 2 beautiful kids all gone. If the two things I need are clarity and confidence, I'm SCREWED.
Your ex is telling you that you are a bad person, you are everything that is wrong in her life, and you are responsible for her feelings of wanting to be divorced...is this a coping mechanism for her to rationalize no longer wanting to be married...or is she gaslighting you. Her "image of you" is a self-serving narrative to rationalize her selfishness and blame anyone but her for the end of the marriage. What's the difference between the narrative in her head that she inflicts on you, and gaslighting?
That's a great question.
We talk about gaslighting as though it is a well-thought plan put in place by some sort of evil mastermind who is plotting to make you feel insane. The reality is that it just isn't that simple. People aren't evil (though some of you may argue with me about that!). More importantly, thinking about someone, especially an ex partner, as though they are some sort of Marvel villain doesn't help you heal and move forwards. After all, if there are a bunch of evil Marvel villains out there, how can you ever hope to trust or connect again?
The reality is that people react to their emotions. Most of us go through life reacting based on emotional experiences that date all the way back to childhood. We carry a whole slew of unexamined and often subconscious beliefs in our heads that are deeply connected to our emotions. When something triggers one of those beliefs we feel strongly and we react.
This is where defense mechanisms, coping reactions and all of those behaviors come from. It is also where gaslighting comes from. If we could look into your ex wife's brain and fully understand what she is seeing, hearing and feeling internally, how she is experiencing the situation and the underlying beliefs, fears and learned reactions she is carrying forward from her childhood, I am certain that her actions would make sense to both of us. That doesn't mean they are okay! I'm not condoning her narrative or gaslighting. I'm simply saying that we could understand it from a human perspective, because she isn't an evil mastermind.
It is incredibly rare (despite what google may tell you) that gaslighting happens with pre-meditation and intention. And even in those incredibly rare cases, it still stems from that person's internal experience, fears, defenses and beliefs.
The more important question for you is why does the distinction matter to you? If she is gaslighting, what changes for you? If it's her own false narrative and not gaslighting, how does that change the way you think and feel about it?
Ultimately what matters here is YOUR thoughts and feelings, not hers. Often in these situations it is hard to separate the two, and it feels like her words are directly impacting how you think and feel.
However, you have far more ability to manage your own thoughts and feelings than you may realize. Her narrative or her gaslighting is hers. Your thoughts and feelings are yours. It can take some time, focus and effort to fully separate the two, but it is work well worth doing.
I'm really sorry to hear that you're facing so much criticism from people you thought were friends. How are you doing on the self-doubt piece? It can be very difficult not to internalize her narrative. Liberating yourself from that and finding meaningful connections with other people is not an easy journey, but it can be done and is, frankly, necessary to fully heal and live your life on your own terms.
Finding yourself five years out and in the position of losing your remaining friends and connections must be an incredibly painful place to be. Do you have support in any form, family, friends or professionals? Have you found any meaningful ways of moving past the self doubt?
100
Just started the divorce process and I'll admit I'm suffering.
I've gotten over her I don't have to work on the house anymore I live in an apartment we had a small farm every year I had to burn out the ditch I had to take care of the horses I don't have to do that anymore because I live in an apartment also I've got a lot of money now and she's hurting well she left me for another man and he died on her oh well I'm doing just fine when is first happened I entertained feeling myself but now that I'm over her I can't believe how happy I am she basically ruined my life I don't know what the hell I was so in love with my children are all grown up now course they were then we got a divorce yep there is life after I can't believe how happy I am now I've got a dog when is son of a gun he loves me he thinks I'm the greatest thing that ever happened to him he's the greatest thing that ever happened to me
I want to forget about it all but I still want to not feel like second choice. So to keep it really short, my wife of 20 years of marriage + 6 years of dating high school sweethearts and with the 3 kids ages 20, 18 and 17 and she's been a stay home mom up until last year 2022. She went out and got a job, developed feelings for a coworker. She tried to manipulate the situation and try to offer us doing a open relationship. But to fast forward it has been concluded that his feelings are different from hers he to is married and just wanted a side chick and the idea of my wife only being with me just makes the icing on the cake better for him. Only after I fought for our marriage and got her to see the what I believe is the situation that she decided to stay with me. But it really bothers me that she can go to work and act as if this shit hasn't happened and still smile in the guys face. I told her if she can't thing's with him we can't move forward. It's been a year I think it's time for me to move on. Just our friendship and my love makes it hard. We meet at 15 and 17 and it's been that way up until now age 42 and 45
Kick her out bro. My girl of 3 years cheated. You can't get over it as a man. The trust will never come back. Have some selfrespect.
I tried making things work bro and failed. When she chooses another man over you she doesn't come back. She will only come back to you while considering her options to move on again with another one, or maybe to spite her "love" who doesn't appreciate her as she wants to. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Tried for 2 years and gave up. Then I started working on myself, revisited the relationship and reflected on all the things that was happening and I realised that I had been in a toxic one! And from then I decided to move on, I have never been happier! I actually thank God she cheated on me because I finally found myself. And I am way better than I was 😂. Working on yourself is tough but worth it!
And had been 'happily' married 12 years with 3 kids 😅
Are you ready to get over your ex wife and move on with confidence? A full, happy life is possible for you. Do you want to feel optimistic about the future and have a clear roadmap for success in future relationships? Do you want an effective set of tools for dealing with intense emotions and releasing the past?
I offer several different divorce recovery coaching programs to fit your unique situation, financial resources and goals. Learn more and get started here: www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/better-beyond-divorce
How can she act like she cares and loves me and do this to me with my kids
I need your help. What do I need to do?
@@rselfdestruct I would love to help. The demand for consultations has outgrown the amount of time I have for them, so I have moved to an application process.
You’ll find all of the details you need to apply here: www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/better-beyond-divorce
I also offer a Community based coaching program that you enroll in without applying to get immediate support.
If you have any questions please email me directly at rachael@rachaelsloancoaching.com
I actually think im a pretty good guy! Regardless of what she thinks. Im hurting but im happy with myself as a Man!
Hi mate , I am with you all the way on this one. I've been put down too much in the last few years . All my mates , my family and all my work colleagues think the world of me .
My wife thought I was an absolute arse hole .
I am still hurting everyday, but I won't let it beat me .
Fight on brother .
I want to do that it's just that she hit me with a divorce I know that I wasn't a perfect husband but I cannot get her out of my mind even though she's moved on and she's already seeing somebody I found out this weekend and it is killing me I need help
18 days in. After surviving the first night, getting rid of the alcohol hours before that first night - knowing I would likely try to numb the pain and getting the firearms out of the house by day 3...should have done that on day 1...thankfully there was intervention... I've been through all the mood swings and attempts to reach out having come home to a friday night ambush of 1/2 the house gone and her calling as I walked into the house with a gleeful cheer "I want a divorce". I have not seen or talked to her since then and after alot of immediate rapid fire counseling and choosing to be alcohol free. I'm suiting up to the reality of my situation - it still sucks and I want answers...but I have been burning through journals writing every single thought down and dating and timing it all. We were together for 15 years...and I can own my shit, but she will not own hers and THAT is where the problem lies.
I cheated on my wife, she didn't do anything to deserve it. She was a great wife and I was not a good man. I've been with my affair partner, but I find myself miserable. I have never stopped missing my wife, she divorced me to give me freedom, I understand but never really thought it would happen. I had a break down tonight, I lost it. I want my old life back, I even lost my daughter who won't talk to me. I'm not a good person.
Hi JD, thank you for posting. This is a difficult position to be in, and it sounds like there is a lot of pain for you to process and heal if you're going to find a way to forgive yourself.
I know that might be hard to imagine, and part of you might not think that you deserve to heal or to forgive yourself, but I hope that you'll consider doing the work - if not for yourself, then for your daughter.
At some point, days, months or years from now, she is going to need her father. And when that day comes if you haven't worked through this and found a way to move past your mistakes and become the good person you want to be, you won't be able to be there for her.
This is a rough place you're in, I know that. But please do the work. Your daughter deserves a great father, and you can be that man. I can help you get there, or you could do that work with a therapist or another coach.
If you'd like my support you can find details here: www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/better-beyond-divorce
Or email me at rachael@rachaelsloancoaching.com
How do you get true clarity? She says she divorced me because I had a anger problem. I never touched her ! I think she was cheating. But I don't have proof. I think she wanted to get out of our marriage to be involve with whomever she is secretly with.
100% happened to me
Spot on about courts, counselling and therapists being stacked against men. Add on that women have WAY more support systems and they are all going to be telling her that the man was the problem. I think this is the first time I've ever seen another woman admit that men are raised to ignore and stuff down their emotions....It sucks being blamed for things that are completely out of our control. We're expected now in this day and age to suddenly undo a lifetime of subconscious wiring.
I love this thank you 🙏🏾
I was emotional she left me after 15 years and 2 kids together. Begged with her and pleaded and i believe that hurt me in getting her back. She blames me for everything and i do know i became neglectful and took our relastionship for granted. I take responsibility for my part but she keeps bringing up stuff from over a decade ago. I said i am sorry but it falls on deaf ears. She never communicated until everything just blew up and said she was done fighting, i was blindsided and shocked when she left. Why do women think we are mind readers? If you are a women tell us this or that needs to change, we will if we love you.
I'm really sorry you had to go through all of that.
Often the problem is differences in how men and women learn to communicate. Women often think they ARE telling their husbands what needs to change, but they say it in a way that he doesn't hear or understand.
When I help my clients unpack this aspect of their marriage (which we only do after doing a lot of foundational emotional awareness work) they usually see the many ways in which their wives were telling them... but they couldn't hear.
Part of that is because most men learn to suppress emotions when they're quite young, as it is usually expected of them by peers and even adults. This emotional suppression leaves them insensitive to the emotions of others, and even can make them blind and deaf to a request for change if it comes in an emotional state.
I've found that helping men safely access and process their own emotions opens up a much deeper understanding of what their wives were feeling and asking for.
This is NOT to say that women are blameless! Most women could communicate in much healthier ways than they do. Women and men tend to get caught up in unhelpful and even toxic communication cycles, where neither partner has the knowledge or emotional regulation skills to break it.
I left my wife after a year of our marriage. After marriage and moving to her state during g the pandemic, things got so emotionally painful and mentally hurtful that I couldn’t take it any more. Two and a half years later, I’m Scott my self that I miss her. Despite all that happened, we found each other and fell in love and got married for a reason. I subconsciously didn’t allow myself to experience losing her until now. It hurts. A lot.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you've been protecting yourself emotionally by not feeling, and now the emotions are coming up and maybe you don't have good tools to process them?
If you haven't yet, please take an hour and watch my free masterclass. It will go deeper into how we can effectively manage and move through emotional pain so you can start to heal. You'll find it here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register
My partner left me after seven years together in October 2022. I can't let her go after all that time. I'm 49, and I feel completely hopeless about the future, and wish i could die. For me there is no one else. Iost everything, and I am totally alone
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you're dealing with immense grief and a fair amount of trauma. There are things that can be done to help your nervous system heal so that you feel a little safer and more connected in this world.
Are you working with a therapist? If not, I would strongly recommend seeking support from a therapist trained in supporting people through trauma and loss. This is an excellent database to find a therapist in your area: www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
Almost two years now and still wish death would come for me . I hurt so bad
Hi Jon, I'm so sorry that you're experiencing so much pain. Do you have some support systems in your life? Or perhaps a therapist you're working with? It can be really hard for our nervous systems to recover from these things by themselves.
12 years. And I kinda don't want to let go because we are great friends. But i don't know if she is going to ask me to come home...i miss her. So very much...
I started to dream and think about her again yesterday after it being already two years of our divorce 😐😷 I don't care for her or ever want her back. I just want to keep moving up and living my life to the fullest at peace
Hi Carlos,
It's interesting that you had dreams and thoughts come up after a couple of years and feeling like you're ready to move on. What do you think triggered those thoughts?
@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach Honestly I don't know what made start thinking about her. All I Kno is that I am ready to move have been for awhile but she pops in my mind from time to time..
I just started having dreams about my ex wife, waking from sleep crying..after 7 years of divorce.. I guess I'm dealing with suppressed emotions??
we are living in the same apartment, there’s been tension in the relationship for a couple of months, for example: the silent treatment and emotional outbursts on my part as well as hers, she’s told me she wants a divorce and we’ve been so combative with each other that I agree. (She stays in the room and the majority of the time I’m in the living room) So we agree to dissolve our marriage and move on. last week she’s in the room, on the phone talking to another guy and though I agree it’s time for dissolution…it. hurts.😢
Hi Ronald, I’m so sorry. Sharing space like that can make letting go or moving on incredibly difficult and painful. How long until one of you can move into another place? Do you have some support that you can lean into right now?
Good video. Things haven't gone to well for me since me and my ex separated more than 9 years ago. Here is what happened in a nut shell she cheated with 7 men, I tried to get us in marriage counseling but she didn't want to go. I revenge cheated with 1 woman (worst mistake ever), I left after I realized that she had no intention of restoring the marriage, she had her new bf move into the house, I had to move in with my parents because of 3 open heart surgeries (currently recovering from my 3rd). Her and her new bf went up in flames and she came crawling back to me to want to date again even though we are still married on paper, I said no don't have the time. This is just the short version.
I need to finalize the divorce but lawyers are stupidly overpriced and I don't have thousands of dollars just lying around.
I need her out of my life, mind, and heart.
I would love to know, at least I think I would, the absolute truth behind her leaving, just the bone facts. Its been three years, and I realize I will never know the truth. The not knowing part was so hard, its very difficult to accept thing you don't really understand.
I want her back ! 😢
But I got no choice and it's bring me down , 😔 depressed.
Bloody hell !
You described everything to a T !
On some rational level you have to recognize that she is at least part of the problem in the marriage….especially if she stayed with you for so many years.
No matter how horrible she claims that you are it wasn’t bad enough for her to leave sooner. Just something to consider
hi from the UK, I'm one of those stuck men... I lost a relationship of 16 years four years ago. I just can't more on, i have become disabaled in the last 15 years esp with both mental health and pysical. it was some part of the break up but mainly my lack of interest in what she vauled and wanted the most. I hold my hands up and say I was apoor partner.. she's on her sencond relationship since we split, and tbh I can't give her what she wants. I'm just stuck. i'm 57 in ill health, but would really like too smile just once more.
Hi Martin, I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling, both in your health and to move forward and past the break up. If you'd like to talk and see if I can support you in healing some of that pain and finding your smile again, please email me at rachael@rachaelsloancoaching.com to set up a consultation
I know to process my emotions, Share my feelings,it is new.
Im learning
I sent my wife to her mother house 🏡 after she fight with me. I usually reconcile after a week but not now im very angry and sad.
Because she was laughing with other men at work place. I told her before no to get frank or laugh with other men. Im from Pakistan 🇵🇰.
Now 3 weeks in total have passed. I wont forgive 🙏 her now
Thanks so much. I really needed this. I just signed divorce papers this morning. I thought I'd be happy to get rid of her. Instead I've been hurting & depressed all day.
Ooof. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a divorce and that it's so fresh. No matter how bad things got in the end, there is a reason you married her in the first place, and I don't think anyone gets away scot free emotionally.
How are you coping with the feelings that are coming up for you? Do you have some support?
@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach No not really. I'm a OTR trucker, so I'm alone 95% of the time. It's not being able to call her at the end of the day. Like we've done for 15yrs that's killing me. And she won't let me see my step son. It's a huge mess. She treated me horribly. Said that I was too fat and broke. So she left me for the woman who owns the company she works. Sounds pathetic right? I really wanna give up.
@@WesternStar4949 I can see how lonely you're feeling and how painful her rejection is. But you're not alone in feeling this way, and her choice is not actually about you. It's about her.
If you'd like some direct support and coaching to help you feel better, I'd love to talk and see if we might be a good fit to work together. Depending on your goals I think I can likely help.
If you'd like to talk about it you can email me at rachael@rachaelsloancoaching.com
My booking calendar is pretty full as I'm traveling the next two weeks, but if you email we can find a time to talk.
@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach Awwsome I'll email you
@@WesternStar4949 Great, I look forward to hearing from you.
I’m just so done. Brain fog. Suicide ideation, I can’t stop thinking of her which is humiliating because she is making her family extort me or send us to court for everything to be taken. I have been spending on money on so called psychiatrist. Why do I want to die like my life is worth nothing? What is this ? Spent 8 years trying for a child but got nothing but court threats. People say you’re so lucky you never had kids when that’s all I wanted. Now it’s down to finding a reason to live.
This vid is spot on
She was having an affair, before I found out we had a lot of disagreements and barely connected it was really dull after 12 years, I packed my shit and moved out…..but then now I miss her it’s weird….i gotta remind myself all the past memories mean nothing, she was willing to lose it, and literally the day I found out she minimizes what she’s done and just acts like it was just meant to be for us to split and she “wishes me the best and prays for my success”…..it’s a weird feeling. My life as I knew it changed instantly.
10 years 3 kids. I got over my drinking and this sucks my friends.
Hi Rachael. I like to thank you for helping me go through my divorce, Now at this moment in time i understand myself better, my weaknesses and to be honest there are things i needed to change and that is Finances, however moving on is the best decision am currently on. i was blamed for divorce although mine has no Cheating and abuse, am happy that i know what i want in relationship and what i can give. Am able to love again and it liberated me.
Hi Teledi, I am so glad to hear that you're doing much better. It warms my heart to hear that you are feeling liberated and are able to begin moving on!
Thank you for your video! It helped me more than you think!
You're welcome, Christopher, and thank you so much for watching and supporting me here on the channel.
Thank you for everything you have said. It made me realize a lot. A god send
Excellent way of good advices God bless you
Thank you for your kind words. I'm really glad this video was helpful.
When God allows.
Then you will be blessed.
Therefore pray.
Can you please suggest me how
thank you for all this useful information. currently going through this
I’m sorry you’re in the midst of this right now. I’m glad this video helped a little. It’s an incredibly challenging undertaking. Do you have a good support system behind you?
@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach yes 🙏🏼 coworkers and family have been very supportive
He was the man who help me bring my ex back 2 days ago❤❤❤❤💕💕💁
Lol imagine a female trying to tell men how to move on from ex wife lol
I wish I found you on RUclips about 6 months ago.... you hit it right on the head I had watch a few videos today it made me realize another if things I went wrong on... I am at divorce now my wife had filed.. I was confused about things where I really thought crazy.. .. then we both got worse.. one video on I can move on from my wife after or during divorce told me everything that happen. . Thanks for this.... it helps with closer..
Hi Freddy, I'm really glad these videos were helpful, though I'm very sorry to hear that you're in the midst of divorce.
If you'd like a little deeper support you can watch my free masterclass - it has some great tools and resources that may help you deal with the emotions that come up and keep moving forwards. You can find it here: www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/optin1671910386839
I too am 4 months separated headed for a divorce I don’t want. Extremely toxic. Blamed for things I never did. Refuses to admit any fault in the marriage. You’re video described me spot on.
I got divorced a few months ago . Shit describes me but I messed up and wish I had another chance
Hi Eric, I'm sorry to hear this. I see you commented a couple of weeks ago, how are you doing now? Do you have any support to help you through this?
That's a hard position to be in - holding onto regret can make it really hard to move forward. How are you doing?
Thinking about ending everything
It shall pass been there you’ll make it and even be happier next time around
But opposites attract. Emotional women are attracted to strong unemotional man.
If anyone wants to leave, you can't stop her, let them go. Be happy find someone else.
Opposites attract is a pretty common belief, but it's just part of our societal narrative around what Love is. Actual, real, successful human relationships are not centered around opposites attracting, they are centered around honest, open conversation between two people who are genuinely interested in supporting one another and sharing this human experience.
Rachael I am from Mumbai, India. Your video was so nice. It's been more than 2 years she left but your video was very inspiring for me to finally move on and let go off her.
I'm so glad you found it helpful! Thank you for watching, and I wish you the very best of luck.
When you are young divorce is so devastating, but as you age you will be able to let go of it much easier, a old man once told me to never let a woman do that to you. Women are not worth your self respect. He told me to give her everything she wants, walk away, no pleading, begging, or crying, just walk away, and live a better life than she does. Best revenge in the world. And if she tryst to come back, tell her to F-off. No matter how you feel, she will only walk all over you if you let her !
I'm sorry to hear that you've been hurt, and even sorrier to hear that you have such a low view of all women, not just the individual(s) who hurt you. I know that perspective, that women are bad or less than men, is tempting when you're in pain, but ultimately it leads to a very lonely life with a lot of anger and bitterness.
Over a year apart and the pain is still unbearable 24/7
After 16 years my wife left 6 days ago. So I'm absolutely freaking terrified!!!!!!
My 1st girlfriend was 5 years. And it took me over 6 years to get over her.
I'm so lost!
It’s going on 5yrs and I’ve buried the pain and hurt but it hasn’t left I still miss her😔
This is exactly what happened to me except, I had childhood trauma that made me kill my emotions right now I’m just focusing on me first and my kids she isn’t worthy of me. She admitted that I was the safe bet and she needed me to pull her out of a bad place in her life and now she’s good 13 years later and doesn’t need me never loved me and wasn’t attracted to me so I said my good byes I’m moving on.
I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this. Childhood trauma can certainly complicate the way you experience a divorce. Do you have some support or someone who is helping you work through this so you can focus on yourself and your kids?
Wow! Rachael, you were on point with many of your comments and advise. Thank you for your perspective.
You are welcome, I'm so glad that the video was helpful. Is there anything else in particular that might be useful for you? I'm always looking for inspiration.
Hi Rachael. My wife and I divorced in 11 August 2021. Although we've been living apart for 4 months, i now find myself being devastated, regretful and completely heart broken. I don't know how to shake off this terrible feeling.
Hello there fo you need help to fix all kinds of problems in your relationship including getting your ex husband, girlfriend, boyfriend crush within 3 days ???
Contact father right* away
Text him now through whatszpp
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Im divorced for 2 years and now that i know my ex wife she is with another men i feel broke do i still love her?
It's probably a little more complicated than that. We would have to dive into it a little bit.
I'm hosting a training on Wednesday that you might find helpful, and it has a live Q & A so we could discuss it directly. Please come join me on that call and I think I can help.
LIVE Training: Take Back Control of Your Life After Divorce
DATE: Wednesday, December 21st, 2022
TIME: 5 pm PST
Sign up now to save your seat! rcsloan87.clickfunnels.com/webinar-registrationcxmo090
In a perfect world
Yeah, it’s not so simple or easy as this, you’re right about that. But it is possible, even in this messy world. What do you think is getting in the way for you?
She made me feel less than. See the trash he's with a now
Me I probably will never trust women again. I am 52 personally I'm just waiting to go ahead and go on.
How much are your consultations?
Hi Cody, the consultation calls are free. They're an opportunity for us to get to know one another and decide if we're a good fit to work together. If at the end of the call I believe I can help you achieve what you're looking for and you are confident that working with me is the best path forward for you, I can get you enrolled in my coaching program at that point.
Right now my calendar has been filling quickly, but if you are interested in a consultation you can reach out to me directly at rachael@rachaelsloancoaching.com and we can find a time to talk.
Thank you so much for your time Rachael .. such a great video , just what I needed to hear !!
I wish you could be my therapist to help me get through my divorce...I am for sure broken
Please come join me on Wednesday - I'm going to be hosting a LIVE training that I think you'll like, and I'll also give you all the details you need if you'd like to work with me.
Here's the details:
LIVE Training: Take Back Control of Your Life After Divorce
DATE: Wednesday, 12.21.22
TIME: 5 pm PST
You can sign up here: rcsloan87.clickfunnels.com/webinar-registrationcxmo090
@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach I just signed up, thank you so much for reaching out, I'm so hurt and broken right now after what took place the last 2 months. I can't take much more and I am willing to listen to anything that will prevent me from going over the edge
I'll be looking forward to seeing you on the call. I'm really glad that you're so open to and actively looking for help - hang in there, hard as that may be. It can get better and there are concrete things you can do to start easing the pain. You don't have to do it alone.
I'll see you in a couple of days.
I move to usa 2017 for a dream to bring my children and wife. caught her february 2020 having an affair with her ex boyfriend. My life felt so miserable after that and fighting my inner self that was shattered and my life for my kids which she also forgot to care back then and she used all of our savings for her affair. Went to divorce and slowly recovered but now that we’re friends she wants to come back and i really want to move on. I’m getting stuck and i just want to be a good father so i want us to be friends for our children but she is selfish and she wants us to reconcile. I don’t want long distance relationship anymore and want to move on with my children. Please help me
But It had happened at 4 years ago dear.......
I’ve watched several of your videos. Your presentation and content is solid and very appreciated. I know I have a very difficult i time moving forward but I wonder if it’s just too soon. I’m two months post a divorce I didn’t want. How soon is healthy to “move on”?
Hi David,
Thank you for watching, I'm glad that they are helpful. Your question brings up a few questions for me:
- What does "moving on" look like for you?
- How do you know you have a very difficult time moving forward? Is there some past experience influencing how you're experiencing this divorce?
- If you ask your brain the question "How long is appropriate before moving on?" What number do you get?
Moving on is a process that begins by an exploration of where you're at now. You can't move on until you take stock of what is happening for you right now. Likely there are a number of emotions that need to be processed (and will continue to come up for awhile into the future) and a variety of thoughts about yourself, your marriage and your ex wife that are impacting your experience and your expectations for the future.
It is never to soon to get curious and explore your own internal experience. It is through that exploration that you'll learn what you need.
If you'd like more specific guidance, you're welcome to schedule a consultation call with me.
On consultation calls we focus on understanding where you're at now, defining your goals for the future and getting clarity around what you need in your unique situation at this time. If it's the case that I think coaching would support what you need now, I'll share details about how that works. If it's not, I'll do my best to help you get clarity around what next steps, if any, would be the most useful for you now.
You can schedule a consultation through my calendar here: calendly.com/rachaelsloan/strategy
U are amazing and helpful
Thank you for your beautiful video 🙏🙏🙏
You are welcome! Thank you for your kind words, and for supporting me by watching.
Well this is what happened with me she cheated and told me that she didn't even think about me when she did what she did? Yes lied before she even told the what she called the truth and now things are worse im ready to walk way but I still love her
Hi Carnell, I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this with your wife right now. Do you have some support, either as a couple or individually to help you make this decision?
There is a form of couples counseling called Discernment Counseling, which can be incredibly helpful in making the decision about staying and trying to repair the marraige or walking away:discernmentcounselors.com/
Link please
Hi Roberto, I apologize for not getting back to you sooner. I missed your comment somewhere in the flow.
Due to an increased demand, I've made a small change to my application system.
If you're interested in applying and potentially working together, please follow these steps:
1. Watch my free Masterclass: How to Take Back Control of Your Life After Divorce
www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register
2. At the end of the class you'll be given a link to apply to work with me. When I approve your application you'll be invited to schedule a consultation call and I can answer any further questions you have.
I ask you to watch the masterclass because, in order for me to help you, you have to be an active participant in the healing process. I can be the guide, the coach, the troubleshooter and cheerleader, but you're the one who has to show up and do the inner work. The Masterclass will give you great tools and it will also prove to me that you're really committed and ready to do your part in letting go and moving on.
If you have any questions about the process, please reach out to me at rachael@rachaelsloancoaching.com
Hi Rachael what the link to get in touch with you I could really use your help.
@@robertoflores7275 I would love to help.
I do have an application process now, simply because I have too many requests for strategy sessions - I am only able to do calls with people who are not only serious about healing but also willing to engage in the process, show up and do the work that it takes to make that healing happen.
I would love to talk to you, but I do have to ask you to please watch the masterclass first and fill out the application.
The link is in my earlier comment above. I hope to see you application soon, and then we can speak directly.
Year 3.I still want my ex
I have got 50.50 with my kids which is good. And my ex is good in some ways or at least not that bad. But do i or should i be friends with her? For the sake of the kids. Ahe still wants to be friends. She wants to do things together like go for walks or watch a movie with kids. This is for the sake of the kids. Am i wrong to nit want this? I just dont really want to be around my ex, even thi we did separate amicably enough
Hi Ted, I answered this on another video, but I'm going to copy and paste that answer here in case it's helpful to anyone else:
This is a fair question, and the topic is actually on filming list for new videos I'm going to film tomorrow!
I'll give you a short answer, and that is that I would recommend doing some deeper emotional and self confidence/identity work first. If being around her or seeing her is upsetting or triggers feelings of anxiety, anger, regret or just plain pain, then being friends is going to be really difficult.
I do think it is helpful for your kids. Not necessarily being friends and 'hanging out', but having genuine compassion for your ex and holding her in high regard. This is not about her, it's because your kids will grow up and see some of their mother in themselves. When that happens, the way you felt towards her will impact the way your children feel towards themselves.
Regardless of whether you're openly friends or not, I do think it is important to work through any lingering pain or strong emotions you have towards her for the sake of the kids. If you'd like some direction around how to do that, I have a free masterclass that gives you some simple and powerful tools to do that work. You can watch it here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register
And keep an eye out, I hope to have a full video on this topic out in the next few weeks.
@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach
tks but can i challenge you on this. Re "the way i feel about her will affect the way they feel towards themselves". I dont want my kids to be scared by this experience. But how do i show them i dont approve of this situation or what there mother has done? Also i did not want this, is this just a consequence of the decision she made? Why do I have to be the better person for her decision? I dont think i can hold her in high regard. But i dont say anything negative about her which is something i guess. I do talk about her, and say mummy this and mummy that. Not in high regard but not negative. I think that is the best i can do.
@@ted2136 it sounds like you're experiencing some ongoing feelings of resentment and anger, is that accurate? If so, I'd recommend working through those feelings with someone, like a therapist or coach (if you'd like to work with me on it you can watch my free masterclass to get details on what that looks like: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/optin1671910386839).
It's important to do this with someone else, a professional and an adult. It isn't your kids job to validate that you don't approve of this situation or of their mother's choices. If you try to show them that it is going to be confusing and probably upsetting for them. Those are feelings that you do need support and validation for, and someone to listen and understand. But that someone isn't your kids.
Trust them. Be their father. Love them. Teach them to be resilient and to love, respect and trust themselves. When they grow up they will make their own assessments of their parents. I hope, for their sakes, that when they do they will be able to see both of you through a lens of compassion and respect.
@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach yep am working through it. I dont wish anything bad for my ex. But i dont want to be around her. If i dont see her that will be good. I can just keep it amicable for my kids but beyond thay i dont think anything more is required. It was her choice, we dont have to be friends. I dont want my kids to be my councellor. And am doing my best with them but being a dad this way is no more peefect then when i was with my ex. Tks v. Much!
Exact opposite for me. I ended the relationship and I am very in touch with emotions. Didn’t help me.
You are awesome
Thanks Ahmad, I'm really glad you found the video helpful! Thanks for watching!
Not looking back is her lost
This took some time for me to grasp but men we can’t simply jump into a new relationship!
The argument:
My wife or girlfriend is doing it why can’t I?
Because it doesn’t work that way if she truly is seeing someone else it developed over time and didn’t just start, but even if it did could you get past knowing? For some the answer is yes for others (myself included) no.
I had unaddressed trust issues before I met her. Things I compartmentalized that I thought would fix their self. Time heals wounds right? No doing the work heals wounds.
Like Rachael says, forgiving yourself does.
Forgiving them also does I know that sounds crazy but for me telling her I forgive you was important even though she said for when and I didn’t ask you to. That was for me not her!
I can’t live with hate in my heart even when I feel justified. It just feels ugly and returns later on with other people.
He was the man who help me bring my ex back 2 days ago❤❤❤❤💕💕💁
Whattsapp him......❤❤❤
Don't wanna talk about my wife on here how can I get a hold of you
You can find the details about working with me here: www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/better-beyond-divorce
If you have questions for me you can email me at rachael@rachaelsloancoaching.com
Amazing 👏 you are spot on !
I have eight children she removed someone else in my kids were only recognize me I haven’t seen him in 90 days I mean I need a lot of help
Hi Charlie, I'm so sorry to hear that. How are you doing? Do you have people who can support you through this?
@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach no
@@charliebatch7692 I'm not sure where you live or the details of your situation, but working with a therapist or coach who can help support your emotionally as you work through this would likely be a huge help.
Depending on where you are there may be various options for therapy. If you'd like to see if coaching could help you, you can book a consultation call with me here: www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/contact-8
Do not bother buying this program, it is a complete false narrative… all the info is regurgitated crap ffrom all the rest of the publicnvideos. Notice she spent 20 minutes with a sales pitch, and didnt actually offer any advice? Point and case..
How do you know? Did you purchase my program and go through the full six modules of the Complete Divorce Recovery Program? It takes about 4 months to complete if you go through each step and follow the exercises.
If you did have a bad experience with the program, I would love to connect with you and get your feedback. I care deeply about this work and helping my clients, and I'd like to learn from your experience. Please email me directly at rachael@rachaelsloancoaching.com
Very nice video Coach Rachael!
You are bang on the money. Every time.
Thanks Andrew. I'm glad you're enjoying the videos. Is there any topic in particular you'd like to see a video on?
Sales pitch disguised as self help. Nice...
Women women women
You guys, I’m not trying to compare but my wife divorced me after 32 yrs of marriage!!!!!!!!!
Accused me of verbal abuse for MOST OF OUR MARRIED LIFE??
Yet I found out literally HUNDREDS of texts/calls with a high school “friend” after she left the house with my children.
What could i possibly think other than the obvious?
But till this day, she denies it.
It’s been 2 yrs, and it’s still HORRIFIC!!!!
Only God knows how terrible this is.
Peace to all of you.
Hi Ricardo, I'm so sorry that this is bringing up so much intense pain after 2 years. Long term marriages are brutal when they end in divorce. I have several clients married for 30 and even 40 years, and I know how difficult it can be to move on or even just get through it.
Do you have some good support in your life helping you with this? I have seen men heal, even after being married for so long, and go on to even find opportunities and greater joy on the other side. I hope knowing that is possible helps a little.
Thank you for replying, well, I have a few friends with whom I talk on a regular basis.
I’ve tried to go out on dates, it has helped, now I’m considering something more serious, but I might have to move away from my children, and I’m not so sure about that.
I know they’re just going to grow and be on their own, but I don’t want to wait long to be with someone else. I turned 60 last month.
@@ricardoduarte5281 you're welcome. Thanks for sharing some of your story with me. I'm glad you have some supportive friends and a good relationship with your kids.
If you'd like to accelerate the healing process, I can help you do that. I just opened the doors to my 90 day intensive coaching program, and it's a pretty powerful boost if you can fully commit to doing the work for those 12 weeks. If you're interested you can book a call with me here: calendly.com/rachaelsloan/discovery-call-for-bbd-foundations
Either way, I can understand your urgency. I would encourage you to do some sort of work on the underlying emotions, especially given the challenging circumstances of your divorce. It will make stepping into a more serious relationship easier and also set you up for greater success in that relationship. Dating helps, but there are ways to rebalance the nervous system that can get you where you want to be a lot quicker.
How much does your program cost?
@@ricardoduarte5281 A lot of men ask me about cost first thing.
It's been my experience that most men struggle to prioritize investing in their mental health.
They won't hesitate to spend thousands for their daughter's braces, the family vacation to Disneyland or to get the car fixed so they can get to work each day. But they cringe at the idea of investing even a fraction of that money into mental and emotional health and stability.
You've written that it's been two years and this is HORRIFIC still. I will ask you to please consider this - how important is it to you to bring an end to the horror?
If you commit and do the work, following each step and actually doing the exercises I share with you, we can end that horror in 90 days or less. I'm so confident in this outcome that I offer a 90 day money back guarantee.
I've seen it work again and again for the men who commit to the process.
The financial investment for this program is $4800 and I do offer a payment plan.
This is so good ❤️❤️
I'm so glad it was helpful. Thanks for being here!
Damn it I thought you were going to help us on this video 😪 another dead end I get it you gotta make your money.
This was just an ad!!! You didn't give any tools at all to use to change or let go it was just a promo to get more customers! Or suckers to pay you to tell them to write down what they are feeling and ask themselves why do I feel this way or what is the opposite of how I feel rt now? It's sad bc there are men watching this hoping to get at least 1 useful thing from your video UT instead they just get another woman wanting to take advantage of them! Unbelievable
Couldn’t win her back. This shit hurts.
We were together for 12 years. After that the last 3 years we have lived separately. But still talk. Spend weekends together. With our kids. I stay all night. Etc. We have a very weird relationship. Neither one of us has moved on. I think we are both thinking maybe some day we can be a family. I try now to make that so. But she resist. Saying before that can happen I need to do this that or the other. Or prove one thing or another. It's just impossible to completey move on. When it constantly gets refreshed. I want us to be together as a family with our two kids. I just feel now that it probably never will work out. I'm tired of being alone and lonely. Since I've been waiting I've stayed true. So I only go work then come home eat n sleep. Weekends if I can't be with them I just lay around read n sleep.
Yes
Hi Karl, I’m glad this was helpful. If you’d like to go deeper and learn more about the specifics of how to do this work on a day to day basis, check out this video:
rcsloan87.clickfunnels.com/application-page1661304835892