I’m 20 years into an interracial marriage to a husband from a very traditional south Indian family. We have the most beautiful teenage daughter. We were young, in love and faced so much to make it work, very hard work. It is definitely worth listening to your mum to consider the option of interracial marriage carefully, as the impact is huge on everyone and it’s not a task everyone is up to. Everyone in both families has to grow with an interracial relationship in order to support it, and sometimes that’s asking a lot, or too much of your loved ones. The initial challenges of coming together are minor compared to later when life throws big challenges at various stages in a marriage, and again if you choose to have kids.The growth needed for a successful interracial marriage is painful, rewarding, difficult and expansive. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, and a choice you really must consider and explore in the way as your mum suggests to know if you are up truly up for it. Personally it’s been worth it for me. Your mum is right you will have the thought “should we have been with someone of our own race? Would it have been easier?” and you will have to answer that to yourself. My answer to myself is one I can live with and feel happy about but that took time and a lot of pain to get to. Marrying people from our own race and cultures is a true thought we have both had especially when things got tough for a long time. The answer is absolutely “yes! It would have been easier! Especially in the ways your mum describes, the short hand of culture, the ease of unspoken understanding, and the integration efforts we go through with our families is big and straining for us both. But acceptance and love are worth it for sure and I have deep experience of that, as well as painful experiences too when there wasn’t acceptance or support from extended family and other people. Carrying your children through that is the next layer to navigate, and that requires sooo much tenacity and wisdom. They will carry a genealogy you gave to honour, and will always pave their own path regardless of their DNA, that’s the human miracle. In short, I now wouldn’t change a thing, it’s been the best for me and us as a family. To me, no marriage is guaranteed to be easy, it’s what you can do and rise above that counts.
I want to take a moment and recognize how this family is facilitating an inter-generational conversation about dating and sex. Such a rarity in Indian families. Kudos to the parents for having an open dialogue with their kids and to the kids for engaging with their parents. Lots of ❤
Would this happen if there was no POSITIVE CASH FLOW INVOLVED? NEVER. Right now she's got her MILs permission to discuss that her father in law has only one testacle, remember?
@Fredastaire2012 on the other hand, would indians publicly discuss such "sensitive" topics? "Honor" is above money for some. Also, I am always on the side of the joke. I don't care about facts as long as it is funny. It is about comedy, not money at that point.
@@Fredastaire2012 we had zero money when we married, pregnant and on food stamps, both of us had university degrees, no jobs, 41 years later , 2 kids, still in love, retired and have a nice nest egg. Had to ditch the Indian family, it was all about status and money.
A grade to Zarna! Shalabh got lucky finding someone that's actually smart. Her questioning, level of thinking and ability to put words to thoughts with so much clarity and eloquence is admirable! Brought amazing perspectives into the topic/discussion!
I’m an Indian boy married twice … first to a Latin American (have two kids) . Got divorced ( nothing to do with interracial issues) then got married recently to a Malaysian. To me interracial, inter-religion and inter-nationality is beautiful and truly rewarding to develop myself to understand and practice inclusion on a daily basis.
Yes totally agree..it is all about Understanding Accommodating and Accepting and if there is true love, it really works. We Indians just do not marry the man or the woman, but the clan and hence there is interference, but today times have changed🙏
Zarna’s villanic laughter lol ❤ A to zoya for being able to understand the layers of complexity in this and she being so open to the family in introducing all the dates! that’s brave and deserves an A for that!!
My A grade goes to Zarna, simply because of her mantra - “Practical people win”. I’ve started to appreciate her practical viewpoints on life. Her wisdom, clarity of thoughts is really sound. I wish this podcast existed a couple years ago too, I’d have benefited a lot from Zarna’s teaching. Nevertheless, I’m trying to improve now. Thank you, love this family. Also, Shalab is great. Brij’s A great to his dad and the explanation for it was so inspiring. 👏🏼
I'm Bengali Hindu married to a half Peruvian/half Bolivian 7th Day Adventist. Our families have blended seamlessly because my husband has desi values: education, family, work ethic, respect for elders, etc. We had a Christian ceremony and a Hindi ceremony. We never have overlap of holiday/cultural events so it's very easy to coordinate family gatherings. We've been together for 16 years. I give my A to Zarna. Cultural differences matter. Surface level differences can be overcome.
As a child of interracial marriage, I’ve seen both the joys and horrors of both witnessing and living within an interracial family with interracial parents. What Zarna says is true that no matter who, both need to have similar values. My mom and dad were not raised the same way with the same values and it really affected all of us kids, (which is probably the main reason I was raised by my immigrant Japanese grandmother and 3rd Japanese generational born Grandfather, (meaning his great grandparents were the immigrants to Hawaii), these are My mom’s parents). There were so many fights because of the different cultures and backgrounds.
As always, I love this South Asian American family and how they take on real life issues in a globalised world. So full of awe and respect for the Fab Five! Been married to an Indian for 20 years and I am Sri Lankan and our kids have grown up in both countries. Vastly different cultures, religions, traditions. The trick is not to amalgamate cultures but to retain the best of inter-cultural marriages/relationships and blend a new flavour. Don't get defensive about your culture. Embrace the good in yours and be realistic about the bad. Be more tolerant of the other's. All will be well. ❤❤
You guys are so naturally funny! Episode after episode, I am now falling in love with the entire family, congratulations to the Gargs on the 25th Episode.
My first A goes to Zarna. You are so wholesome and a great role model as a parent. I would love to hear from Veer. Hats off to him for being engaged despite not being asked his opinion. A's also for Shalab, Zoya & Brij. I love just how wholesome all of you are. ❤
Dearest Zarna, this quote you’ve said “If you don’t explore dating/life with an Indian person, you will be thinking about it forever- what would have happened if I had been with an Indian” It resonated with me so much, and I’d never thought about it that way. I’m young too but older than your kids, but all this time I’ve been saying - “I’ve had enough of Indians, all the Indian boys (and especially their families!) are enough to overwhelm me to death. I’d only go for non-Indians” But now I think about it in your way, and it’s so true. I would definitely think about my life with an Indian and how it would have been, because I am very Indian no matter what. Even though born and raised outside India just like your kids. Thanks so much for this perspective.
I’m a viewer and not a commenter but I wanted to point out that Zarna is amazing!!!! She is the mom we needed growing up🥹 I love her perspectives and how much she invests in her children! I wish we had this podcast years ago
My brother married a Jewish woman and whenever I'm calling out to his little son who was castrated when he was just 7 days old😭, I feel like I'm calling out to a mouse...cos Eli means mouse in Kannada 😖....one never gets used to the inter racial stuff. Being a South indian, I would have preferred a beautiful tongue twisting sanskrit name
Circumcision is not castration! LOL! The names that are given to the babies are something that people living around can comfortably use them and not a name like nedunchezhian😂
You are making a big deal about race and the importance of Indian values. Most educated people value education, not necessarily only Indians. Marrying an Indian does not ensure a good lasting relationship. A good person comes in all colors and shapes. Be open-minded in your search for a partner. Marriage is gamble. Roll the dice and enjoy your life. Don't fret so much about silly things. The kids are healthy, intelligent, sensible, and happy. Appreciate these blessings and let them live full lives.
Meanwhile, veer is just nodding his head at 25 minutes was the cutest thing. We need to listen to you more veer. You make a lot of sense most of the time.❤
Veer is studying for a test in the background; none of you guys let him talk, he's so either completely out of it or just enjoy listening to all of his funny family members 🤩🤩
My A grade goes to Zarna! She’s saying things that people eventually come to realize after years of heartbreaks and disappointments.Being an immigrant in America opens your mind to varied cultures and All of them have good things to offer.Ultimately u end up wanting to be with someone who feels like “home” That being said ,interracial marriages with a strong foundation of love and a practical mind do work! Especially true of kids born to immigrant parents in America.Most of that foundation needs to be done in ur youth-so when interracial couples get together in their school/college years.They might have a greater chance of surviving the marriage years! Its harder when u marry at a later age
The Dad gets our A grade. Interesting how the conversation focused on the white race. Brig mentioned Jewish. My story spans 45 years. I married an American Black man 41 years ago. We have two different religions, races, heights (lol), customs and cultures. It works because of mutual respect. We have 2 very successful sons and now a beautiful granddaughter. Our children attended temple and church. I can’t speak for them but they experienced racism from the Indian culture. I recall one incident where family friends spoke in our language thinking I did not understand the language degrading our marriage and children in front of my family. It was horrible, I replied in English so all could hear me and said how racist they were. Still to this day Indian people who are strangers see us holding hands in public will stare with disgust. My husband and I met in University, kept the secret for years. Let Brig know birth control is not 100%, lol. So happy to get married at 23 with our bundle of joy growing inside of me. I should write a book. Our eldest son married a wonderful Black girl. Our youngest son is still dating. I wonder how your family would accept an African American into your family. Your children are very fortunate to have a father with an open heart. I would love to send you a picture of the beautiful family we created.
Oh man that Indian racism towards black is disgusting! The fun part is some Indians are darker than some blacks - wtf, like all this stupidity with applying white powder.. of course if such people can’t respect themselves, they can’t do this for others.. salute to your family!
You said it all. Respect. By the end of the day in any and every relationship it is about respect. We can have 2 Indians with same core values but if there is no respect that relationship will go nowhere. In the other hand you can meet someone across the globe with totally different values and culture but if they respect each other's differences that is definitely a long and successful relationship for life.
I give Zarna an "A" grade as she is very wise, practical and totally committed to raising good human beings. Takes her job very seriously and hopefully those kids appreciate that it is a privilege to have so much care taken on your behalf. After all, when they leave home they will be responsible for their own lives. All that guidance without lofty frills thrown in for appeasement's sake, will be appreciated. Not taking a jab at Shalub!
So impressed with the honest input from all of you. I am married 23 years to an Indian man and I am Jewish-American. We were both old enough (30) that we certainly considered the practical along with "American ideal of love" as Zoya put it. This included shared values on things like child-raising, gender division of family responsibilities, education, even religion and cultural/family traditions. (We are both not religious and we are both happy to embrace, learn, and share both of our cultural traditions and share them with our children.) His parents (first-generation Maharastra to UK) were not interested to meet me at first and we split up out of respect for them, and didn't get back together without their blessing. When my husband proposed, his mother lent him a ring to express their approval -- she's been the absolute best I could hope for ever since. (He got me my own ring later. 😉) Our oldest son just started university with your second (Engineering 🤩), our second son is SHS public school NYC.
I give Zarna an A grade!!! Honestly, as a Indian NRI mom of a 20+ yr old, I can relate to Zarna sooooo much. And it’s typical of my son to always look up to his Dad who doesn’t care for him as much as I do…but I give myself credit for my good upbringing that I never bring up my private issues with my husband in front of my son, therefore he respects his Dad in spite of everything. I saw how Zarna also avoided that topic with so much grace and dignity…kudos to you, Zarna 🙌🏼 You inspire and humor us…luv ya!
the marriage thing is THE MOST IMPORTANT decision of your life. know the person really really well before you take that step. DO NOT take permanent (well sort of) decision based on temporary emotions.
Over 25 years in interracial marriage, and in my opinion, it's the values we share. Cultural differences are real, and it's our values that helped us navigate our marriage. Nothing just works out by itself. It needed and continues to require genuine desire to do the work to make it a success.
My A grade goes to Zarna. Zarna auntie, as an Indian mom raising 2 little kids in the US, your take on various parenting aspects makes me reflect on those things as well for when my kids are older. As an open minded family, I always say our kids can choose to marry who they wish (irrespective of race) when they grow up. Zarna's point about exploring what it is like being with a person with similar cultural background and letting that guide you decision whatever that might be is very interesting. It is true that removing cultural differences can reduce many points for friction (not to say that there can't be other areas of friction).
Zarna ur so hilarious n witty … I had so many rofl moments! What an adorable Indian family. My As wd go to Zarna n Shalabh for raising such intelligent n sensitive kids.
Zarna, my son is 8 and he listens to me watching every episode and it opens up discussions and questions from him and it's good that you are an intellectual bunch and children always listen when it comes from other children. You are absolutely right Zarna, no matter how much you love your other half, you'll always think of your choice.
I’m on my son’s account, but I actually agree with Auntie Zarna. The values of a person are what count. I don’t necessarily feel like she was still saying to date an Indian person. I personally am a black person, but the values that she speaks about when talking to you guys are the same values that I would put into my children and are the values that I was raised with.
Zarna A grade to you on this one. Cultural differences do affect the relationship if you don’t have a very understanding partner . For me I stay in Mumbai and am a maharashtrian married to a Marwadi😤 I am lucky to have a partner who understands my situation well but if I meet a maharashtrian girl who wants to marry a marry a Marwadi guy I try to do everything possible to stop her. God sake the difference is huge. So agree with Zarna 💯
I definitely give Auntie Zarna an "A" grade. As a person in a cross-cultural and mixed religious marriage, I agree that no matter how successful the marriage is and how much "love" exists, there will be problems. For me, there was a certain amount of lost identity, differences in fundamental beliefs that only presented during times of conflicts or problems, clashes in parenting tactics, especially with teenagers being raised in a modern environment, and struggles with "village mentality" and hundreds of years of tradition. Culture definitely impacts marriage by preconditioning both parties with predetermined expectations, taboos, and rituals that may not emerge until well into the marriage. It takes a very strong couple to succeed within a cross-cultural marriage. It's not easy!
Thanks for pointing out the cultural differences between Indians from different states. It can be quite a shock when you realize even though you’re both Indian, you value different things, different foods, social norms/expectations. American-Indian kids should be aware that just because someone is Indian it’s not a monolithic culture. Marriage is hard work, no matter the race you marry. Sometimes it’s even harder when it’s the same race because cultural expectations trump personal preferences.
Zarna, as an Afghan American woman, I stress about our culture and religion to be always part of our kids. So I totally feel and understand what you trying to do for your kids. I give you A+ for all what you doing for kids. Being a mom is the hardest job in the whole world 🌍💕🤗
Zarna gets an A. Great mom. I see her care for her kids in everything, even if kids won't see it. Remember kids if you are in doubt ask your parents and you will never go wrong.
I hail from a Brahmin South Indian family, married to a North Indian Punjabi and my sister is married to a man from African descendants and we are both Blessed. And about saying "I Love You" both me and my husband end every conversation with an "I Love You"❤
I’m in an interracial marriage. I’m Filipino and my husband is Armenian raised in Australia. We’ve been married 18 years and I can honestly say that we have never really had issues with cultural differences. I get what Zarna is saying that the race doesn’t matter as long as their values are close or aligned to your own values. A+++ to Zarna. I think there’s a lot to be said about how and where a person was raised. If I met my husband while he was in Armenia and have lived there all his life, we probably would have had some issues. But since he grew up in Australia, the cultural influence is watered down but the values are still intact. Given we have similar values and I pretty much grew up with a lot of western influence, we get along very well.
Brij Beta, I know a woman personally who made holes in her boyfriend’s condom and got pregnant and had the child regardless of the boyfriend’s wishes (he didn’t want to become a father). They are no longer a couple. So here I must say your mother knows a bit more about how wily some women can be and you would do well to pay attention to her advice. Bytheway I’m finding these podcasts a lot of fun, keep it up!
I’d like to give the A grade to Zarna for pointing out how a guy would not have a power in an unexpected situation as mentioned.. #oh how I love the mother in you ❤
You guys are so lucky to have such a nice dad 🥹❤ I wish i had a dad I could talk to - we have very complex relationship and we literally never speak- he was very strict growing up so i never had a chance to speak to him and it's got worse over time - I'm now 40 and he is 75 - nothing has changed unfortunately 😢 God bless you all! My grade A goes to all of you❤
He put Zarna in a spot when he asked her "Does that mean you will TOTALLY stop caring for me?" Zarna failed that test.....her own trick back fired on her.
This was my first time listening to you and I really loved this topic. Very real issues. I was a professor for graduate students for 20 years and the issue of relationships for 1st generation students regarding race and ethnicity was something that was a common topic. I am also in a relationship with a Turkish man and very aware of the challenges for both him and myself. What a lovely family you have and I look forward to future listens. Thank you for letting us into a conversation that was both funny and very real. Zarna gets an A for raw honesty :)
I would like to give Zoya A plus for pointing of alignment of values. In my opinion, values are important for relationship to work. and A plus to brij for his looks
A grade to Zarna. She had the best line 'try integrating your partner to the family'. Totally agree and think youngsters should take that into consideration. But am sure love will conquer all.
Gorgeous children. Bless your family. U guys are perfect parents. Mom gets an AAA. Ur intelligence thrills...mwaah. I'm an Indian mum so I understand your fears. Love your show. Keep leading.
These podcasts are doing my soul good. So much love, so much respect and care and strong bonds among them. Sure no family is perfect but they come close. You inspire me to be brighter and more joyful and openminded with my children and I'm so thankful for you sharing a small glimpse into your lovely family.
I give an A grade Zara, for having such beautiful loving responsible children and for picking a husband with a great sense of humour that matches yours. I love how you genuinely care for your family and that you are actually present in their lives.
Zarna you definitely deserve the A grade for bringing such a topic for a family podcast. Next in line is Brij, he is indeed a Good kid, with his head in his shoulders attitude, diligent and good looking. Then comes your Husband, who really seens the supporter for all, Your daughter is Bright Beautiful and Brilliant. And how can I miss out your youngest son, it was so nice of him to sit through and listen and participate Wish he wud hv spoken more, but right now not the topuc yet❤
My A grade goes to Zoya.. I love how she really acknowledges all points of view, balances the whole family and keeps her point of view respectfully. I also admire the parents for having an open dialogue with kids specially being an Indian family. That is truly commendable. I do disagree with the point that interracial marriage is a work for the reason that it takes a lot of time and effort to get each other assimilated, and families. That actually could be a good thing as there are less expectations from the family and probably easier to ignore their partners shortcomings and dismiss it saying that probably they don’t know since they come from a different culture. Also learning each other’s culture could be fun. I do fully agree, though that the fundamental values have to be the same.
Brij is a very handsome young man. Any young girl would date him no matter their ethnicity. I'm an Irish Canadian, and if I had a daughter I'd be very pleased if she dated this intelligent kind young man.
Zarna I think is saying is that life throws everyone curveballs, then either couple has to be ready to pivot and still thrive. It’s being creative and using or recognizing each one’s strength and using that to react to survive.
A grade to you Zarna. For loving humour, bringing together your family, your smart and obviously loved and loving children together. A for a wonderful time watching this open intergenerational conversation. À My father was from Haiti, my mother from French Canada, my heart is from India. Krishna is my heart since age one. I totally understand the cultural concerns. Multi-faceted issue. It can be a wonderful thing, but it can be such a struggle.and a lot of energy can be lost on trying to mend cultural, spiritual differences. Yes, it can be such a rich experience to share your life with someone from a totally different world. All the best to all three of you in finding your path, and match! Vedic Astrology! :) LOL
Zarna you are correct to be concerned for Brij. You make excellent points for him to consider. As you know there is no guarantee of a successful marriage even from the same country, religion, ethnicity. It depends a lot on the individual's values, home upbringing, personality, mental and emotional stability. Are they open to learn about each other's culture, is there respect, are they flexible, can they communicate without condemning, are they kind and generous? These qualities along with intelligence, education and goals, can work from any background.
I listened on the way home from work and laughed so hard I was crying. That was funny and interesting all. At the same time. I do think Zarna is manipulating with her open mindedness :) I am a mother and I do the same and I'm not even Indian :)
Future Prediction: Zoya marries a smart, intelligent and sweet Indian doctor when she’s in her late 20s 29 year Brij marries a vegan yoga teacher ( white obviously) Veer is chilling and having fun till early 30s and marries an Indian woman working in finance
I just realized (and fear😅) that I would be a Zharna Garg as a mother in future and also realized that actually I would like to be the one.Zharna you are doing it absolutely right.A++ to you from a mother👏🙏🏵️
I married a white Jewish guy 21 years ago. It comes down to values and values can be the same across cultures. Differences aren't always bad. It's an opportunity to expand your horizons. My kids are a blend of two cultures amd navigate both worlds easily. I don't feel like an outlier. My Indian family has embraced all new members and welcomed them. A grade goes to Brij. He has a good head on his shoulders.
Wow. I married my own country ladies BUT FROM DIFFERENT FAITHS AND DIFFERENT PROVINCES....I'M SOUTH INDIAN Christian...my wife of 32 years was a UP Christian.... And in the 70s that was considered an INTER-RACIAL marriage And for last 8 years my wife is from Punjab and off sikh faith. Life is never perfect.....but I'll never dare blame tough times on cultural VALUE differences Come on guys!! ! #Jatt_E_Chennai #Ed_Talks
This is the first time i am listening to you guys. It was quite interesting. Although i am following zarna maam comedy since pandemic but never explored the podcast. 😂
Also maam the initial "coming up" clip up had no audio it's probably intentional but Ig it's preferable to have audio in that clip plus the next clip where you have your screen showing a clip you introducing the topic followed by same clip in the group call setting showing others too it's also preferable here to just show the group call template video
I give you & your husband AA plus grade . Amazing loving parents . Your children are super wonderful & you both have instilled wonderful values & integrity into them . Mom I am right with you to keep an eye on them for just your peace of mind & to help maneuver them away from false manipulative people that can change a happy fate into a miserable one . All in all you have raised wonderful children with a good head on there shoulders & in the end I believe will make the correct life decisions because you have greatly instilled . Be so proud of what you have created & do not worry I am confident they will choose wisely.
I am 42 now ... Had I seen this podcast 20 years ago, I wud have given brij the A ... I am a father now, I am giving the A to Zarna ... Especially after her wicked laughter ...
This was a fun and enthusiastic conversation both Brij and Zoya made amazing points, highly intelligent kids. Even though he is too young for this topic I wish Veer could have also said a few words about it so that we get to hear his thought process at this age, the podcast felt incomplete otherwise.
From all the podcast that I have watched, I noticed that Brij likes his dad a lot, Zarna and Zoya are fond of each other(may be they will hate to admit it), veer's fav person is his sister and Shalabh likes to hear Brij talking. and WE AUDIENCE LOVE TO HEAR WHAT VEER THINKS. VEER'S WIT IS UNFILTERED.
Omg zoya's comment of don't date in school to suddenly you have your diploma now when are you getting married hits home. Lol met my husband at 25 eventually and got married a few years later. Same as me from the "west indies" as americans label it.
If I ever become a mother, I think I would be like Zarna. I want my children the freedom but also want to be there at the every important phases of their lives.
I’m 20 years into an interracial marriage to a husband from a very traditional south Indian family. We have the most beautiful teenage daughter. We were young, in love and faced so much to make it work, very hard work. It is definitely worth listening to your mum to consider the option of interracial marriage carefully, as the impact is huge on everyone and it’s not a task everyone is up to. Everyone in both families has to grow with an interracial relationship in order to support it, and sometimes that’s asking a lot, or too much of your loved ones. The initial challenges of coming together are minor compared to later when life throws big challenges at various stages in a marriage, and again if you choose to have kids.The growth needed for a successful interracial marriage is painful, rewarding, difficult and expansive. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, and a choice you really must consider and explore in the way as your mum suggests to know if you are up truly up for it. Personally it’s been worth it for me. Your mum is right you will have the thought “should we have been with someone of our own race? Would it have been easier?” and you will have to answer that to yourself. My answer to myself is one I can live with and feel happy about but that took time and a lot of pain to get to. Marrying people from our own race and cultures is a true thought we have both had especially when things got tough for a long time. The answer is absolutely “yes! It would have been easier! Especially in the ways your mum describes, the short hand of culture, the ease of unspoken understanding, and the integration efforts we go through with our families is big and straining for us both. But acceptance and love are worth it for sure and I have deep experience of that, as well as painful experiences too when there wasn’t acceptance or support from extended family and other people. Carrying your children through that is the next layer to navigate, and that requires sooo much tenacity and wisdom. They will carry a genealogy you gave to honour, and will always pave their own path regardless of their DNA, that’s the human miracle. In short, I now wouldn’t change a thing, it’s been the best for me and us as a family. To me, no marriage is guaranteed to be easy, it’s what you can do and rise above that counts.
I want to take a moment and recognize how this family is facilitating an inter-generational conversation about dating and sex. Such a rarity in Indian families. Kudos to the parents for having an open dialogue with their kids and to the kids for engaging with their parents. Lots of ❤
Would this happen if there was no POSITIVE CASH FLOW INVOLVED?
NEVER.
Right now she's got her MILs permission to discuss that her father in law has only one testacle, remember?
@Fredastaire2012 on the other hand, would indians publicly discuss such "sensitive" topics? "Honor" is above money for some.
Also, I am always on the side of the joke. I don't care about facts as long as it is funny. It is about comedy, not money at that point.
@@Fredastaire2012 we had zero money when we married, pregnant and on food stamps, both of us had university degrees, no jobs, 41 years later , 2 kids, still in love, retired and have a nice nest egg. Had to ditch the Indian family, it was all about status and money.
A grade to Zarna! Shalabh got lucky finding someone that's actually smart. Her questioning, level of thinking and ability to put words to thoughts with so much clarity and eloquence is admirable! Brought amazing perspectives into the topic/discussion!
I’m an Indian boy married twice … first to a Latin American (have two kids) . Got divorced ( nothing to do with interracial issues) then got married recently to a Malaysian. To me interracial, inter-religion and inter-nationality is beautiful and truly rewarding to develop myself to understand and practice inclusion on a daily basis.
You are just promiscuous…
Yes totally agree..it is all about Understanding Accommodating and Accepting and if there is true love, it really works. We Indians just do not marry the man or the woman, but the clan and hence there is interference, but today times have changed🙏
Zarna is correct. Cultural differences do matter when it comes to marriage. It's not racist It's reality. A grade to Zarna ❤
Agreed 💯
Race does make a DIFFERENCE in the long run......
there are millions of interracial couples who live happyly their children will be opened mind about other cultures
lol Latin parents are crazy
I think values more than culture, and surely not race per se.
Zarna’s villanic laughter lol ❤ A to zoya for being able to understand the layers of complexity in this and she being so open to the family in introducing all the dates! that’s brave and deserves an A for that!!
My A grade goes to Zarna, simply because of her mantra - “Practical people win”. I’ve started to appreciate her practical viewpoints on life. Her wisdom, clarity of thoughts is really sound. I wish this podcast existed a couple years ago too, I’d have benefited a lot from Zarna’s teaching. Nevertheless, I’m trying to improve now. Thank you, love this family. Also, Shalab is great. Brij’s A great to his dad and the explanation for it was so inspiring. 👏🏼
💯💯💯
I'm Bengali Hindu married to a half Peruvian/half Bolivian 7th Day Adventist. Our families have blended seamlessly because my husband has desi values: education, family, work ethic, respect for elders, etc. We had a Christian ceremony and a Hindi ceremony. We never have overlap of holiday/cultural events so it's very easy to coordinate family gatherings. We've been together for 16 years.
I give my A to Zarna. Cultural differences matter. Surface level differences can be overcome.
As a child of interracial marriage, I’ve seen both the joys and horrors of both witnessing and living within an interracial family with interracial parents. What Zarna says is true that no matter who, both need to have similar values. My mom and dad were not raised the same way with the same values and it really affected all of us kids, (which is probably the main reason I was raised by my immigrant Japanese grandmother and 3rd Japanese generational born Grandfather, (meaning his great grandparents were the immigrants to Hawaii), these are My mom’s parents). There were so many fights because of the different cultures and backgrounds.
As always, I love this South Asian American family and how they take on real life issues in a globalised world. So full of awe and respect for the Fab Five! Been married to an Indian for 20 years and I am Sri Lankan and our kids have grown up in both countries. Vastly different cultures, religions, traditions. The trick is not to amalgamate cultures but to retain the best of inter-cultural marriages/relationships and blend a new flavour. Don't get defensive about your culture. Embrace the good in yours and be realistic about the bad. Be more tolerant of the other's. All will be well. ❤❤
Can you elaborate the difference between Indian and srilankan culture? I thought we have similar values. I mean not exactly same but most part.
I can am 27 indian women and can’t agree more to zarna.
She is me❤
She is only 21
@@AdityaJapezoya is 21 not zarna
You guys are so naturally funny! Episode after episode, I am now falling in love with the entire family, congratulations to the Gargs on the 25th Episode.
My first A goes to Zarna. You are so wholesome and a great role model as a parent. I would love to hear from Veer. Hats off to him for being engaged despite not being asked his opinion. A's also for Shalab, Zoya & Brij. I love just how wholesome all of you are. ❤
Please give the little boy a chance, he was totally ignored. Never got a word in
It's probably because he's not yet experienced in dating yet because he's young and not explored that season of life yet.
I agree! Happens a lot! They never give him chance to speak! Everyone should have equal voice but I think it is more of Zarna show than family show!
@@sonaldhavale5271 it happens in all the podcasts, not just this one
It's because he's the youngest- you're never taken seriously because you're always the baby.
Im giving my A grade to Zarna for her unwavering dedication to being a parent.
I love how no one gives Zarna an A 😄 she still sticks to her convictions and doesn’t let go of her responsibility
Dearest Zarna, this quote you’ve said “If you don’t explore dating/life with an Indian person, you will be thinking about it forever- what would have happened if I had been with an Indian” It resonated with me so much, and I’d never thought about it that way.
I’m young too but older than your kids, but all this time I’ve been saying - “I’ve had enough of Indians, all the Indian boys (and especially their families!) are enough to overwhelm me to death. I’d only go for non-Indians”
But now I think about it in your way, and it’s so true. I would definitely think about my life with an Indian and how it would have been, because I am very Indian no matter what. Even though born and raised outside India just like your kids.
Thanks so much for this perspective.
The grass is always greener on the other side.
I’m a viewer and not a commenter but I wanted to point out that Zarna is amazing!!!! She is the mom we needed growing up🥹 I love her perspectives and how much she invests in her children! I wish we had this podcast years ago
My brother married a Jewish woman and whenever I'm calling out to his little son who was castrated when he was just 7 days old😭, I feel like I'm calling out to a mouse...cos Eli means mouse in Kannada 😖....one never gets used to the inter racial stuff. Being a South indian, I would have preferred a beautiful tongue twisting sanskrit name
Circumcision is not castration! LOL! The names that are given to the babies are something that people living around can comfortably use them and not a name like nedunchezhian😂
@@pramilapriyadarshini3500 Castrated!!! Do you mean circumcised? Goodness gracious!
You are making a big deal about race and the importance of Indian values. Most educated people value education, not necessarily only Indians. Marrying an Indian does not ensure a good lasting relationship. A good person comes in all colors and shapes. Be open-minded in your search for a partner. Marriage is gamble. Roll the dice and enjoy your life. Don't fret so much about silly things. The kids are healthy, intelligent, sensible, and happy. Appreciate these blessings and let them live full lives.
Meanwhile, veer is just nodding his head at 25 minutes was the cutest thing. We need to listen to you more veer. You make a lot of sense most of the time.❤
A++ to Zarna for tackling such a minefield topic.
Veer is studying for a test in the background; none of you guys let him talk, he's so either completely out of it or just enjoy listening to all of his funny family members 🤩🤩
My A grade goes to Zarna! She’s saying things that people eventually come to realize after years of heartbreaks and disappointments.Being an immigrant in America opens your mind to varied cultures and All of them have good things to offer.Ultimately u end up wanting to be with someone who feels like “home”
That being said ,interracial marriages with a strong foundation of love and a practical mind do work! Especially true of kids born to immigrant parents in America.Most of that foundation needs to be done in ur youth-so when interracial couples get together in their school/college years.They might have a greater chance of surviving the marriage years!
Its harder when u marry at a later age
Sorry, Zarna, any one call fall in love with someone who is attractive but a little dumb. 😊 it happens.
Sounds like good old American values at the end of the day
For lil one...this whole episode felt like a lecture.Guy had all ears mode on😂
The Dad gets our A grade. Interesting how the conversation focused on the white race. Brig mentioned Jewish. My story spans 45 years. I married an American Black man 41 years ago. We have two different religions, races, heights (lol), customs and cultures. It works because of mutual respect. We have 2 very successful sons and now a beautiful granddaughter. Our children attended temple and church. I can’t speak for them but they experienced racism from the Indian culture. I recall one incident where family friends spoke in our language thinking I did not understand the language degrading our marriage and children in front of my family. It was horrible, I replied in English so all could hear me and said how racist they were. Still to this day Indian people who are strangers see us holding hands in public will stare with disgust. My husband and I met in University, kept the secret for years. Let Brig know birth control is not 100%, lol. So happy to get married at 23 with our bundle of joy growing inside of me. I should write a book. Our eldest son married a wonderful Black girl. Our youngest son is still dating. I wonder how your family would accept an African American into your family. Your children are very fortunate to have a father with an open heart. I would love to send you a picture of the beautiful family we created.
❤
Well said. I would love to read the book - please do write it ❤
Oh man that Indian racism towards black is disgusting! The fun part is some Indians are darker than some blacks - wtf, like all this stupidity with applying white powder.. of course if such people can’t respect themselves, they can’t do this for others.. salute to your family!
You said it all. Respect. By the end of the day in any and every relationship it is about respect. We can have 2 Indians with same core values but if there is no respect that relationship will go nowhere. In the other hand you can meet someone across the globe with totally different values and culture but if they respect each other's differences that is definitely a long and successful relationship for life.
I give Zarna an "A" grade as she is very wise, practical and totally committed to raising good human beings. Takes her job very seriously and hopefully those kids appreciate that it is a privilege to have so much care taken on your behalf. After all, when they leave home they will be responsible for their own lives. All that guidance without lofty frills thrown in for appeasement's sake, will be appreciated. Not taking a jab at Shalub!
So impressed with the honest input from all of you. I am married 23 years to an Indian man and I am Jewish-American. We were both old enough (30) that we certainly considered the practical along with "American ideal of love" as Zoya put it. This included shared values on things like child-raising, gender division of family responsibilities, education, even religion and cultural/family traditions. (We are both not religious and we are both happy to embrace, learn, and share both of our cultural traditions and share them with our children.) His parents (first-generation Maharastra to UK) were not interested to meet me at first and we split up out of respect for them, and didn't get back together without their blessing. When my husband proposed, his mother lent him a ring to express their approval -- she's been the absolute best I could hope for ever since. (He got me my own ring later. 😉) Our oldest son just started university with your second (Engineering 🤩), our second son is SHS public school NYC.
values more than culture, or as zoya put it, indian but no matter the skin color 🤣🤣I'll add religion or country of origin
As a Gujrati with 4 kids I really appreciated this discussion. Refreshing.
Zarna’s reactions to her husband’s words on support of his wife!! The “font of optimism!!”😂
I give Zarna an A grade!!! Honestly, as a Indian NRI mom of a 20+ yr old, I can relate to Zarna sooooo much. And it’s typical of my son to always look up to his Dad who doesn’t care for him as much as I do…but I give myself credit for my good upbringing that I never bring up my private issues with my husband in front of my son, therefore he respects his Dad in spite of everything. I saw how Zarna also avoided that topic with so much grace and dignity…kudos to you, Zarna 🙌🏼 You inspire and humor us…luv ya!
the marriage thing is THE MOST IMPORTANT decision of your life. know the person really really well before you take that step. DO NOT take permanent (well sort of) decision based on temporary emotions.
Over 25 years in interracial marriage, and in my opinion, it's the values we share. Cultural differences are real, and it's our values that helped us navigate our marriage. Nothing just works out by itself. It needed and continues to require genuine desire to do the work to make it a success.
My A grade goes to Zarna.
Zarna auntie, as an Indian mom raising 2 little kids in the US, your take on various parenting aspects makes me reflect on those things as well for when my kids are older. As an open minded family, I always say our kids can choose to marry who they wish (irrespective of race) when they grow up. Zarna's point about exploring what it is like being with a person with similar cultural background and letting that guide you decision whatever that might be is very interesting. It is true that removing cultural differences can reduce many points for friction (not to say that there can't be other areas of friction).
Zarna ur so hilarious n witty … I had so many rofl moments! What an adorable Indian family. My As wd go to Zarna n Shalabh for raising such intelligent n sensitive kids.
People, let Veer speak. And when he does speak, don't interrupt! 😄
Also, how does Veer feel when there is so much emphasis on the oldest boy.
Zarna, my son is 8 and he listens to me watching every episode and it opens up discussions and questions from him and it's good that you are an intellectual bunch and children always listen when it comes from other children.
You are absolutely right Zarna, no matter how much you love your other half, you'll always think of your choice.
I’m on my son’s account, but I actually agree with Auntie Zarna. The values of a person are what count. I don’t necessarily feel like she was still saying to date an Indian person. I personally am a black person, but the values that she speaks about when talking to you guys are the same values that I would put into my children and are the values that I was raised with.
My A grade to Shalabh today! Every immigrant family needs to have a dad like him!
Zarna you get an A for your intelligence, humor, and love of your family!
Zarna A grade to you on this one. Cultural differences do affect the relationship if you don’t have a very understanding partner .
For me I stay in Mumbai and am a maharashtrian married to a Marwadi😤 I am lucky to have a partner who understands my situation well but if I meet a maharashtrian girl who wants to marry a marry a Marwadi guy I try to do everything possible to stop her.
God sake the difference is huge. So agree with Zarna 💯
A grade for this episode definitely goes to Mama Garg!!
I definitely give Auntie Zarna an "A" grade.
As a person in a cross-cultural and mixed religious marriage, I agree that no matter how successful the marriage is and how much "love" exists, there will be problems. For me, there was a certain amount of lost identity, differences in fundamental beliefs that only presented during times of conflicts or problems, clashes in parenting tactics, especially with teenagers being raised in a modern environment, and struggles with "village mentality" and hundreds of years of tradition. Culture definitely impacts marriage by preconditioning both parties with predetermined expectations, taboos, and rituals that may not emerge until well into the marriage. It takes a very strong couple to succeed within a cross-cultural marriage. It's not easy!
As long as People go into a marriage with an open mind things would be fine
Thanks for pointing out the cultural differences between Indians from different states. It can be quite a shock when you realize even though you’re both Indian, you value different things, different foods, social norms/expectations. American-Indian kids should be aware that just because someone is Indian it’s not a monolithic culture. Marriage is hard work, no matter the race you marry. Sometimes it’s even harder when it’s the same race because cultural expectations trump personal preferences.
Religion is the most important even more than race.
Zarna, as an Afghan American woman, I stress about our culture and religion to be always part of our kids. So I totally feel and understand what you trying to do for your kids. I give you A+ for all what you doing for kids. Being a mom is the hardest job in the whole world 🌍💕🤗
Rom com is 2 hrs long, not the Korean rom coms, lolllll epiccc😂😂😂😂😂
Zarna gets an A. Great mom. I see her care for her kids in everything, even if kids won't see it. Remember kids if you are in doubt ask your parents and you will never go wrong.
Is Shalabh such a calm person even in real life? He is such a cool and calm dad!
I hail from a Brahmin South Indian family, married to a North Indian Punjabi and my sister is married to a man from African descendants and we are both Blessed. And about saying "I Love You" both me and my husband end every conversation with an "I Love You"❤
Gujarati is not a weird community, they are the richest among all. A grade to zarna❤
I’m in an interracial marriage. I’m Filipino and my husband is Armenian raised in Australia. We’ve been married 18 years and I can honestly say that we have never really had issues with cultural differences. I get what Zarna is saying that the race doesn’t matter as long as their values are close or aligned to your own values. A+++ to Zarna. I think there’s a lot to be said about how and where a person was raised. If I met my husband while he was in Armenia and have lived there all his life, we probably would have had some issues. But since he grew up in Australia, the cultural influence is watered down but the values are still intact. Given we have similar values and I pretty much grew up with a lot of western influence, we get along very well.
Little boy is very smart watching and listening to everything! He is very wise.
Brij Beta, I know a woman personally who made holes in her boyfriend’s condom and got pregnant and had the child regardless of the boyfriend’s wishes (he didn’t want to become a father). They are no longer a couple. So here I must say your mother knows a bit more about how wily some women can be and you would do well to pay attention to her advice. Bytheway I’m finding these podcasts a lot of fun, keep it up!
I’d like to give the A grade to Zarna for pointing out how a guy would not have a power in an unexpected situation as mentioned.. #oh how I love the mother in you ❤
You guys are so lucky to have such a nice dad 🥹❤ I wish i had a dad I could talk to - we have very complex relationship and we literally never speak- he was very strict growing up so i never had a chance to speak to him and it's got worse over time - I'm now 40 and he is 75 - nothing has changed unfortunately 😢 God bless you all! My grade A goes to all of you❤
Brij was brilliant in this episode. he brought up such great points. my A grade definitely goes to him.
He put Zarna in a spot when he asked her "Does that mean you will TOTALLY stop caring for me?"
Zarna failed that test.....her own trick back fired on her.
This was my first time listening to you and I really loved this topic. Very real issues. I was a professor for graduate students for 20 years and the issue of relationships for 1st generation students regarding race and ethnicity was something that was a common topic. I am also in a relationship with a Turkish man and very aware of the challenges for both him and myself. What a lovely family you have and I look forward to future listens. Thank you for letting us into a conversation that was both funny and very real. Zarna gets an A for raw honesty :)
I would like to give Zoya A plus for pointing of alignment of values. In my opinion, values are important for relationship to work. and A plus to brij for his looks
A grade to Zarna. She had the best line 'try integrating your partner to the family'. Totally agree and think youngsters should take that into consideration.
But am sure love will conquer all.
Why integrating into just their family? What about integrating into the partner's family? Or they've got to be airbrushed out of existence? 😮
@@MC-rw3lc - It was a gender neutral statement. It means integration both ways
Gorgeous children. Bless your family. U guys are perfect parents. Mom gets an AAA. Ur intelligence thrills...mwaah. I'm an Indian mum so I understand your fears. Love your show. Keep leading.
These podcasts are doing my soul good. So much love, so much respect and care and strong bonds among them. Sure no family is perfect but they come close. You inspire me to be brighter and more joyful and openminded with my children and I'm so thankful for you sharing a small glimpse into your lovely family.
I give an A grade Zara, for having such beautiful loving responsible children and for picking a husband with a great sense of humour that matches yours. I love how you genuinely care for your family and that you are actually present in their lives.
I meant to say Zarna
Zarna you definitely deserve the A grade for bringing such a topic for a family podcast. Next in line is Brij, he is indeed a Good kid, with his head in his shoulders attitude, diligent and good looking. Then comes your Husband, who really seens the supporter for all, Your daughter is Bright Beautiful and Brilliant. And how can I miss out your youngest son, it was so nice of him to sit through and listen and participate Wish he wud hv spoken more, but right now not the topuc yet❤
My A grade goes to Zoya.. I love how she really acknowledges all points of view, balances the whole family and keeps her point of view respectfully.
I also admire the parents for having an open dialogue with kids specially being an Indian family. That is truly commendable.
I do disagree with the point that interracial marriage is a work for the reason that it takes a lot of time and effort to get each other assimilated, and families. That actually could be a good thing as there are less expectations from the family and probably easier to ignore their partners shortcomings and dismiss it saying that probably they don’t know since they come from a different culture. Also learning each other’s culture could be fun. I do fully agree, though that the fundamental values have to be the same.
Brij is a very handsome young man. Any young girl would date him no matter their ethnicity. I'm an Irish Canadian, and if I had a daughter I'd be very pleased if she dated this intelligent kind young man.
He is too young why do you have to spoil it by talking about marriage. Seriously. That’s annoying.
Yeah, but sounds like they'd be very snotty about accepting your daughter.
Zarna I think is saying is that life throws everyone curveballs, then either couple has to be ready to pivot and still thrive. It’s being creative and using or recognizing each one’s strength and using that to react to survive.
Veer never got a chance to put his views 😮❤
A grade to you Zarna. For loving humour, bringing together your family, your smart and obviously loved and loving children together. A for a wonderful time watching this open intergenerational conversation. À
My father was from Haiti, my mother from French Canada, my heart is from India. Krishna is my heart since age one. I totally understand the cultural concerns. Multi-faceted issue. It can be a wonderful thing, but it can be such a struggle.and a lot of energy can be lost on trying to mend cultural, spiritual differences. Yes, it can be such a rich experience to share your life with someone from a totally different world. All the best to all three of you in finding your path, and match! Vedic Astrology! :) LOL
Zarna you are correct to be concerned for Brij. You make excellent points for him to consider. As you know there is no guarantee of a successful marriage even from the same country, religion, ethnicity. It depends a lot on the individual's values, home upbringing, personality, mental and emotional stability. Are they open to learn about each other's culture, is there respect, are they flexible, can they communicate without condemning, are they kind and generous? These qualities along with intelligence, education and goals, can work from any background.
Shalab is so good at winding up Zarna
In all fairness, it doesn't take much to do that anyway :D
Most important quality to look for in a future spouse is integrity,morality, and their walk with God. Someone who has compassion and empathy.
My advice to the kids is that it’s too easy to look for what you don’t have. Make sure the ‘given’ you have now are being considered thoroughly!
I listened on the way home from work and laughed so hard I was crying. That was funny and interesting all. At the same time. I do think Zarna is manipulating with her open mindedness :) I am a mother and I do the same and I'm not even Indian :)
Future Prediction:
Zoya marries a smart, intelligent and sweet Indian doctor when she’s in her late 20s
29 year Brij marries a vegan yoga teacher ( white obviously)
Veer is chilling and having fun till early 30s and marries an Indian woman working in finance
Zarna's reactions to Shalabh's comments are cracking me up 😁🤣
I just realized (and fear😅) that I would be a Zharna Garg as a mother in future and also realized that actually I would like to be the one.Zharna you are doing it absolutely right.A++ to you from a mother👏🙏🏵️
I married a white Jewish guy 21 years ago. It comes down to values and values can be the same across cultures. Differences aren't always bad. It's an opportunity to expand your horizons. My kids are a blend of two cultures amd navigate both worlds easily. I don't feel like an outlier. My Indian family has embraced all new members and welcomed them. A grade goes to Brij. He has a good head on his shoulders.
Wow. I married my own country ladies BUT FROM DIFFERENT FAITHS AND DIFFERENT PROVINCES....I'M SOUTH INDIAN Christian...my wife of 32 years was a UP Christian....
And in the 70s that was considered an INTER-RACIAL marriage
And for last 8 years my wife is from Punjab and off sikh faith.
Life is never perfect.....but I'll never dare blame tough times on cultural VALUE differences
Come on guys!! !
#Jatt_E_Chennai #Ed_Talks
This Resonated so much with me as my 20 yr daughter is going through so many similar things as Zoya and Brij! thank you so much!!
Love Veer, I can tell he is a very kind patient respectful and emphatic boy .
Thanks for Reuploading
I Love Zarna. She is just so responsible.
This is the first time i am listening to you guys. It was quite interesting. Although i am following zarna maam comedy since pandemic but never explored the podcast. 😂
Your life can get ONLY as good as your relationship gets! So, choose wisely!
What a family! ❤ Amazing conversation guys
Zoya gets A grade from me. I really admire her for her confidence. 😊 I loved the discussion.. kudos to the parents ❤
Such an educative real conversation...i salute all 5 of you although all are younger to me.
I understood Shalabh on the Korean romcom 16 episodes😂😂 kdrama can get super addicting😂
Absolutely LOVED Shalabh's shout out to Korean Dramas at 33.33! Zarna and kids, you gotta get on to them!
😅😂 Zarna “Let me give you a news flash, we are an Indian family!”Hilarious delivery!
Even the smallest interaction between Veer and Zoya is so sweet.
what the first killing question, from Dad!!!!
Also maam the initial "coming up" clip up had no audio it's probably intentional but Ig it's preferable to have audio in that clip plus the next clip where you have your screen showing a clip you introducing the topic followed by same clip in the group call setting showing others too it's also preferable here to just show the group call template video
I give you & your husband AA plus grade . Amazing loving parents . Your children are super wonderful & you both have instilled wonderful values & integrity into them . Mom I am right with you to keep an eye on them for just your peace of mind & to help maneuver them away from false manipulative people that can change a happy fate into a miserable one . All in all you have raised wonderful children with a good head on there shoulders & in the end I believe will make the correct life decisions because you have greatly instilled . Be so proud of what you have created & do not worry I am confident they will choose wisely.
My A grade goes to Veer. He demonstrated excellent patience.
I am 42 now ... Had I seen this podcast 20 years ago, I wud have given brij the A ... I am a father now, I am giving the A to Zarna ... Especially after her wicked laughter ...
A grade to Veer for keeping his own counsel amidst this.
This was a fun and enthusiastic conversation both Brij and Zoya made amazing points, highly intelligent kids. Even though he is too young for this topic I wish Veer could have also said a few words about it so that we get to hear his thought process at this age, the podcast felt incomplete otherwise.
My fave podcast
From all the podcast that I have watched, I noticed that Brij likes his dad a lot, Zarna and Zoya are fond of each other(may be they will hate to admit it), veer's fav person is his sister and Shalabh likes to hear Brij talking. and WE AUDIENCE LOVE TO HEAR WHAT VEER THINKS. VEER'S WIT IS UNFILTERED.
Omg zoya's comment of don't date in school to suddenly you have your diploma now when are you getting married hits home. Lol met my husband at 25 eventually and got married a few years later. Same as me from the "west indies" as americans label it.
You guys should definitely make a video on public schools vs private schools
If I ever become a mother, I think I would be like Zarna. I want my children the freedom but also want to be there at the every important phases of their lives.
I agree with you Zarna that as a mom of a boy we worry about a lot of issues.