parental trauma
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- Опубликовано: 31 мар 2024
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“Because I said so” doesn’t teach morals; it teaches submission. Not a good quality for adulthood
It is a good quality if the goal is to make mindless patriotic worker drones.
same type that will victim blame when they don't "stand up for themself" and something bad happens to them
It also taught me most adults are going through life without putting a single thought into what they're doing and why.
then they are shocked when you grow up and say "because I said so" to them.
“I did not ask to be born” ✨WORD✨
Oh, yes! I said this not knowing how common it is to feel this way, it feels good not being alone! Though I don’t appreciate how common it is because of how many hurt children are out there!
Andrew Tate W Mrbeast W
@@AdolfoPina-ld1cr accidentally read that as mr. breast lmaoo
I literally told my mum this recently when she told me she's embarrassed about me being queer
@@1991LMR wait that's actually very clever like when ur mum was like "i didn't raised/asked u to be like that" u kinda counter it back but slipped her own words into it like "well, i did not ask to be born, aye?" ✨
The food one really reminds me of the mom from 8 Passengers. She would often take food away from her kids as a punishment. I never understood what lesson these kinds of parents are trying to teach them other than teaching them to hate food.
I was thinking the same thing 😢so dangerous
My mom was like that, I have memories of not being allowed to eat if I didn't listen , or if she didn't wanna make any food (most my food came from sneaking it ngl) , i thought it was all very normal until my grandparents took me in
Yeah no I would definitely called CPS so quickly on any parents that did this. Even if they thought it was a good idea would earn them a CPS call, cause what else are they hiding
My exact thought hearing that story.
My mom used to give me the silent treatment (usually over some perceived slight on the way to a vacation/ far destination). Whenever she wasn’t speaking to me, she would not only ignore me/ not prepare food for me, but would actively prevent me from getting my own food/ anyone else from trying to feed me. Remember, this is on vacation, which I probably should’ve enjoyed.
The soup thing was 100% a power trip and the mom should feel bad. She should feel really really bad. Imagine starving your kid and giving your kid food poisoning just because you were pissed at them. They're a KID. Kids aren't picky eaters because they're spoiled, that's literally just their body protecting them from food poisoning cause they're small and their immune systems are not as strong as a grown up's.
I suffer with severe food texture sensitivities because of my autism. My body would kill itself if all I had to eat was certain trigger foods.
@@ericaallisonc yes, I'm in the same boat even though my sensory issues with food are probably less severe. But even if you put that aside, starving a kid and giving them food poisoning is never the correct response no matter what the reason is for them not wanting to eat. The mom's cruel and unusual punishment reveals the real reason she was pissed off: the kid disobeyed her and denied her authority. Some people should not have children
@@ericaallisoncFamily members seem irritated at my daughter’s autistic rejection of all but a narrow range of foods; I accept it and just try to provide her a full range of nutrients in forms she finds palatable. Sensory sensitivities are the one thing there isn’t really a therapy for, unfortunately! 🤷♀️
Reminds me how my mother used to look up adoption centres and i had to bawl my eyes out for her forgiveness so she wouldn't disown me. I was 7. Lol
That’s so fucked up. I hope you have had time and space to heal now.
I’m so sorry :(
OH MY GOD??? MY CONDOLENCES????
My mom used to threaten to "send me to work in the strawberry fields", but she was absolutely not serious, just frustrated that I didn't want to go to school.
I took her offer a little too enthusiastically for her liking... 😂
Her mom would drive them past the orphanage when she and her sisters acted up as kids, so I guess it runs in the family.
Thats messed up. I'm so sorry.
Well, this is the perfect way to start off Child Abuse Prevention Month. Not everyone is meant for parenthood.
✨Parental trauma✨
I'm so glad I moved out last year😭
me soon. somebody help pray with me so hopefully i can gtfo of my current fucking town rn lol
@@homeland1128 🙏
Congratulations on your freedom!
Congrats!!!!
Happy Autism Acceptance* month y'all!! ♥♾
Acceptance, yes
Thank you!! :D -An autistic person
Thanks you for your support. Happy Autism acceptance month.
Thanks for the reminder ♾️ (first year celebrating with a diagnosis, celebrated as an ally before)
And remember to boycott Autism Speaks
The Christian fundie opposition to magical things is wild because, like, Jesus was a necromancer godbaby?
Trust, they can’t even handle hearing that he wasn’t a white man 😂
The craziest thing about that is how fundies hated Harry Potter for years because of witchcraft but now love it because the author is an anti-LGBTI bigot.
Also, depending on how you interpret different translations, the three wise men who visited Jesus when he was born were "Magi" or ancient magic users/medical men.
I had a friend with super christian parents and the last straw for him was his mom threw out his magic the gathering cards when he was a teenager and old enough to drive. So he graduated and joined the military to get away from them and was kicked out for smoking weed and became an atheist.
But don't forget they love the Chronicles of Narnia which is like... riddled with magic.
Me, a parent who was once a child with sensory issues that were often ignored or treated as me being 'difficult', approaching my son who also has sensory issues and often will turn down food I just made: ugh, I hate it, I just spent all this time working on it.... here let's find you something that you can eat, I at least don't want you to go to bed hungry. Dad and I will be eating the other food at least.
Like, I went hungry a lot of times during school.... I don't want my son to ever experience that, especially not as a 'punishment'. It -IS- frustrating. But it's not my child trying to pick a fight with me, it's my child literally having an aversion that is not his fault. Sometimes I'll have him "fend for yourself" when there are easy things he can make for himself, but I'm always going to make sure he's fed. My grumpiness and annoyance is no reason to torment my child; I'm his safety net.
also, my gf has food issues as an adult because of food scarcity and constantly having (and getting sick from) old/spoiled food as a kid. She doesn't eat leftovers a lot of the time at this point because it triggers that fear of food poisoning.
Hey I'm the soup person, and I'm glad your treating your kid like a person, they must be so lucky to have you
When you told the story of the mother that literally starved her 4 year old it made me remember how I developed anorexia at 10. At that time I had extreme phobia of vomiting, and that year I had gotten the flu, so I was left lowkey traumatized after an awful one nighter throwing up every few minutes...
This was enough for my 10 year old self to simply decide to stop eating because logically I would never throw up again if I simply stopped eating... And then for many years later I would only eat from a very select group of meals I'd consider "safe".(I am okay now tho lol)
But the point is that eating disorders go waaayyyy beyond self image and it's honestly concerning that society only views it that way.
Had a strong stomach flu in 2008 that also made me fearful of vomiting. While it did not cause me problems with eating directly, I am still pretty fearful of vomiting, so I really felt your reply.
It sucks. My body has had a strong stomach flu every 4 years since 2008, it only stopped in 2018 (I know this well because it happened every time an American president was elected and seeing the newsloop late at night when I couldn't sleep because of the upset stomach).
I was happy reading you got over at least the biggest problem (I once read that some things might never go away fully, hence why I'm a bit careful in just downright saying you are completely over it, it never went away in me completely, for instance, but it has gotten better).
I am a early childhood teacher, it is against state regulation EVERYWHERE to not feed a child. And as mandatory reporters they violated licensing on a major scale. Awful.
I'm guessing the bad mother lied to the teacher. Maybe claiming some BS religious fasting. I don't know the rules but if the parent says this and the child doesn't ask for food the teacher could reasonably believe it is a legitimately practiced belief.
@@eDoc2020 religion should never be a valid excuse
did not have “the actual plot of hamlet” on the bingo card for this one
Omg I haven't gotten there yet
Except it's worse, because Claudius was Gertrude's brother in law, not her stepbrother. Although he did murder his brother, so I guess Hamlet is a bit worse on that point.
"When you have to say 'it's not incest-technically', that's not great, Ryan."
- Shane Madej
The soup story hurts my heart as I experienced similar. My mom would do the same with meals I didn’t eat or finish. She thankfully refrigerated them but they were still icky when I eventually broke down and ate them. I was an undiagnosed autistic kid with Crohn’s disease so it was very challenging for me to eat and finish my food. Through my mom being so cruel and spending hours at the dinner table trying to overcome my sensory challenges, I developed a unhealthy relationship with food and have a hard time nourishing myself
PERFECT TIMING! Yesterday my father shouted at me and my brother because I didn't say hello right as we got into the door (I was carrying stuff upstairs), then wonders why we say that he doesnt love us.
my mother LOVED to do this, I'd come downstairs to make food while she was watching TV and she'd get upset with me for not "acknowledging her" like?? You want me to interrupt your show??
on my aunts birthday I put her birthday present in the kitchen and just went to her room to say hello (she was with her friends) and she said "SEE I DIDN'T EVEN GET A PRESENT" like girl, I just have to take off my jacket and shoes... Chill..
My therapist is helping me get away from my family. My parents were neglectful of me growing up and are controlling of me as an adult now, but only when they want something from me. They take, take, take and ony ever give the minimum back when it benefits them.
sounds like a good therapist! leaving your family is hard, but I promise it is worth it
Mine too, even recommended to change my name since my birth name was given to me to make my life difficult
@@AngeliqTulip I, too, have plans on changing my name because of reasons.
@@OmegaOutoto I hope it goes well for you 💖💖💖
Same here and I just moved out, the level of manipulation and control they had over me was a level of insanity I didn't even realize until I was gone.
I told my primary school about the physical abuse from my step dad, who did they talk to about it? My step dad. They asked him about what I'd said and the bruises I showed them, he said it was just punishment because I was naughty/I was clumsy. I had bruises all over my back, I was 6. This probably won't shock anyone, but that night, he went ballistic on me because I "made him look bad" like, sir? You're a grown man beating a child, you're making yourself look bad. Schools do be wilding, especially 20 or so years ago 🤷🏼♀️
I got 2 stories:
1 happened when I was 8. My parents were really into corporal punishment and would use full strength every time. I can't remember when they started hitting me, but considering I can remember being 3 and getting hit, I suspect sometime around then or even earlier. My parents had a rule where my sister and I couldn't play hide and seek. We couldn't play outside because they were afraid we'd get hurt, and we couldn't play inside because they were afraid we'd break something. Therefore, the game was just banned altogether. One night my sister (10) and I (8) were playing hide and seek. My dad must have heard us because he came upstairs. He first went to my sister's room. I first heard a loud smack then a scream. I knew I was next so I hid in my room. For context, my room had the bed perpendicular to the door and an open area at the foot of the bed. I was crouched on the other side of my bed from the door. I heard the door slam open as my dad stood in the middle of my room. He forced me to walk towards him so that he could hit me. Being an obedient kid, I did and he spanked me so hard that he left bruises and I had trouble falling asleep from the pain.
The second story I was 12. On the bright side, this was the last time she hit me. I played clarinet at the time. I hated it, my parents knew I hated it, I wasn't allowed to quit for another 2 years after this. I was forced to practice an hour every day. I hated it,but I was scared of my parents so I did it anyway. I had been practicing for about 45 minutes when I was struggling with a note combination and was getting frustrated. I decided so that I don't hurt myself or the expensive instrument, I would take 30 seconds to calm down. My mom did not like this. She told me to keep practicing, I didn't acknowledge her at all. She didn't like this even more, stood up, and slapped me so hard that she gave me a nosebleed. My sister excused this while I was crying, saying "well it's fine because she hit your leg." She deadass tried to gaslight me into thinking that she just hit my leg. When I brought up the fact that hitting a leg does not cause bleeding to happen on the face,she said "well, she was AIMING for the leg." That was also bullshit because the angles didn't line up, but I wanted her to leave me alone, so I just agreed. Joke's on my mom though, I got blood all over the freshly cleaned carpet.
Parents, if you are hitting your kid hard enough to leave bruises or make them bleed, that is abuse.
omg the swearing one, I think this is kinda funny now but -
When I was little I had a lisp, and I didn't know what words were swears. I got in trouble for saying "sit" with a lisp, but no one would tell me what I had said.
I used to say shoot really quick & then people would tattle that I said a bad word, I’d get so upset being misunderstood and I’m autistic so I didn’t completely understand what was going on😭
@KM-ld9ln I'm also autistic and didn't understand what was going on. This one time in kindergarten I got in trouble for stimming my cracking my knuckles because someone said I flipped them off but I didn't know what that was 😭😭
@@universal_stupidity yk that reminds me - when i was maybe seven i would flip ppl off with both hands and shout "go to hell" mostly to my brother tho
i got in trouble in first gross for saying shut up and stupid 😭 it wasn't even directly said to someone, but as a reference to what bad words were.
My native language is Russian and I remember for some reason my mom didn't let me say "blah-blah-blah" like it was a bad word, but everyone in our family (the adults I mean) could say it. That was weird, but I trusted my mom, so I didn't say it. One day I was in a room with her and just thinking about stuff when I thought "Hmm, if I'm not allowed to say "blah-blah-blah", what if I say but with softened "l" (idk how to explain it well in translation)". And so I just started saying out loud "blya blya blya" which IS an actual swear word, but I didn't know that and never even heard it, I thought I was just saying "blah-blah-blah" differently, and mom slapped my mouth and said (almost shouted) I shouldn't be swearing in a very strict tone. I felt hurt, because I really don't like that strict tone from anyone or shouting.
And to this day I still don't get why she didn't let me say "blah-blah-blah" as a kid lol
I’ve also known people with the “no magic” rule as a kid and in hindsight it just makes grown ass adults looks like they have zero concept of fiction.
I've got a few parental trauma stories that are "funny" in the "if you don't laugh you will cry" sort of way;
1. To start with one that is at least somewhat understandable, when I was 7 years old I broke my arm in a fall. My parents were divorced at the time, and I was in the care of my father. He didn't believe that there was an issue, and as such did nothing. No hospital visit, no medication, despite my constant crying over the course of several days. I didn't get sent to the hospital until he turned me over to my mother, not to portray her as the hero of that story though as she still waited an additional day (she would later state that hearing me cry for that full night, as I was unable to sleep at all from the amount of pain I was in, upset her quite a bit.)
2. When I was 18 and applying for colleges, I received no responses back at all. I thought that was odd, as I was a decent-enough student, and I was aware that they would at least send rejection letters. My mother kept a bag of to-be-recycled paper in a bag in the basement at the time. One week after college classes had begun, on a hunch, I went through this bag of recycling paper. And sure enough I found college acceptance letters. I confronted my mother about this, and she pushed the blame off onto my brother. So I confronted my brother, who stated that not only did he not put my acceptance letters in the recycling, he never put anything in the bag of recycling paper at all, and if he were to throw letters away, he'd put them in the trash. I believed him, and I was very angry at my mother, not only for trying to sabotage my future but for trying to pin me against my brother, but because she would admit no fault I never wound up getting any sort of apology or cathartic confrontation with her. Any time I brought it up, she'd always blame my brother.
3. The one that actually broke my relationship with my mother: during a very horrible time of my life (my girlfriend at the time was not doing well mentally in a very, let's say, "potentially permanent" way (I don't want to trigger youtube's auto-moderation with a no-no word)) and with a lot of hesitation I opened up to my mother about how difficult it was. I knew being open with her was a mistake, but I needed to talk to someone about it and she was willing to listen, and my mother is in fact a mental health professional, so I was hoping she would be able to genuinely help in some way. Not only did she not help, but on a particularly bad day (ie I was actively speaking to my gf about taking her to a psych ward for her own protection), my mother decided to berate me via text about how I was milking the whole ordeal for sympathy. I responded in a not very nice way, and my mother then went on to say that she would stalk and harass me endlessly until I got a restraining order against her, telling me that she knew where I lived and she knew where I worked and she would never leave me alone unless I got the law involved. I immediately blocked her number, and wound up getting a new phone about a month later. I didn't change where I lived or worked, however, and about a year later she called my work to speak to me. She told me then that "enough time has passed" and offered a very blanket apology for the things she said. When I told her that she threatened me, her response verbatim was "Well I didn't actually do it." in regards to stalking me. Which is not only an excuse, not an apology, but it's one of the worst excuses I have ever heard in my life. She then insisted that *I* owed *her* an apology for calling her a bad word during our final argument, and that we both bore some of the blame for that argument happening. I hung up on her.
That starving of the child story reminds me of Ruby Franke when he FIVE year old forgot to pack her own lunch 😡
It’s worse if it was a week and only ended with eating the spoiled food
@@annataymond9529 perhaps. But we all know how Ruby Franke escalated in her abuse of her children.
@@ShilasSpellboundCreations well yeah, just meant it’s worse than the one specific incident.
@annataymond9529 oh, I agree there
@@annataymond9529considering her children were discovered emaciated it was clearly not a one off occurrence. She consistently restricted food access.
8:34 Ah, that reminded me of the time my uncle read to me and my cousin for around an hour how we would rot in hell if I dared to read Harry Potter (we were 10 and 8)
Food is really something that shouldn’t be messed with. When I was little sometimes I would accidentally chew something too much and then the texture would make it so I could not force myself to swallow it. One time it happened with a carrot and my mom had me stand in the corner (on a chair too so I couldn’t lean on the wall) until I swallowed it because she did not want me to spit it out. Years later and even now sometimes I will keep chewing things and try my hardest to make myself swallow it until someone tells me I’m allowed to spit it out. My mom says she didn’t remember that situation and thought the chewing was just a quirk of mine. She feels bad about it unlike the other mom mentioned in the soup story and luckily my brother hasn’t been put in a weird situation with food. I’m not sure why but food just seems to be a really sensitive thing. I guess it makes sense that people can connect through food and cooking.
I used to do the same thing (still do occasionally) and to this day haven’t been able to eat fish cakes since the first time I tried one at nursery (so must’ve been 2 or 3) and over chewed it and made myself feel sick. It’s so annoying but also that’s the only one and I don’t feel like I’m missing out lol
An entire building of adult mandated reporters complicitly helping a parent to starve a toddler. I've seen teachers not take abuse seriously, but that is horrifying and they should have been arrested. Twice as a prek assistant I was told by a child that their mother hurt/hit them. I told my supervisors right away both times and both times they just brushed me off. The first time I was 18, it was my first job and their training was shit and I didn't know if or how I should report it so I didn't. I feel really bad about that. The second time a boy came to school with a cut on his face and missing a tooth and he said his mom did it. That time I knew better and reported to cps when I got home that afternoon despite the lead teacher's not giving a fuck. People forget that children are people.
A few months ago when I was in the mental hospital, I was roommates with a girl named Kadi (or however you pronounce it). She not only was bullied at school, but she had a mother who was very horrible to her. She would cry a few times a day and I would give her comfort. If only I could have done something to help with her situation. I haven't seen her since I got discharged from the mental hospital. I hope that she's okay.
Hope she's doing well too
@@CultivationOfMayhem. I hope so too. I never got her phone number. She needs all the help she can get.
@@catrakitten was getting her phone number something you could have done ?? Wondering cuz the place I was at forbid any form of contact with other patients
The purse vs wallet thing made me cringe with nostalgia. I got around the purse rule by carrying a backpack to all but the fanciest occasions
My grandma was a purse gal and my mom is a backpack lady. I, myself, am a big ole tote bag girlie 💅
I found that one so weird, maybe it's because I have my backpack on me so frequently. but I'm 22 and I almost never have a purse on me, and never have.
not surprised by the school not giving the kid any food. I remember when I was in kindergarten (back in like 2001) we had this one kid that was a "rule breaker" and one day the kindergarten teacher sat us all down in a circle, put the kid in the middle, took down his pants and spanked his bare ass with a wooden spoon in front or us. So that we could all see what happens when we misbehave
I have severe anxiety and even as a small child would get really angry with myself and say I hated myself because I couldn't cope with the anxiety. My parents' brilliant solution to help me? Threaten to charge me money every time I said I hated myself
Children who had parents who:
* deliberately started an argument after a friend came over to negatively condition you
* would shout at friends who only lived a few minutes away, so you know they’d never be allowed round
* sat you down to explain your friends weren’t good enough for you (I’m an only child so that pedestal was UP THERE)
* would go off on one with you after you’d criticised them, regardless of tone used or how ‘right’ you were (conflict avoidance 101)
* told you what to do in Further Education (between high school and university)
* would yell at you in your face during arguments, to the point they were drooling/spitting in your face, when you were as young as 4
* would deny any of the above happened if confronted with this
Say what’s up!
The soup one sucks because my parents did the same, we werent allowed to leave the table until we'd eaten everything which considering me and my siblings all have sensory issues happened very often. Occasionally my parents tried to force us to eat stuff but we usually ended up throwing it back up. considering I'm 26 and still have issues with food I think I can safely say it really fucks you up
I used to work at a thrift store that was owned by the Mormon church. I was processing books, pricing stuff in decent condition and throwing the rest in a giant box. Sales floor manager comes into the back to complain that I sent out an anti Mormon book (the horror). I had no idea what it was since I don't read the books that come through, I just priced them based on length and condition, so I asked to see it. She said no and buried it in the box of reject books. Same thing happened a month later because I didn't recognize the book. Didn't come in again as far as I know. Wouldn't mind reading the book now, but I have no idea what it is thanks to her
DI? 😂
@@ashecrap how did you know? 😱
When I was 8 and I had done something to upset my dad. He rang the childrens home and said he'd pack my suitcase and I would be ready and waiting when they came to pick me uo in an hour (more drawn out with him telling them what I did wrong waiting for a reply etc)
He turned round and said "We need to pack your case, as they will be here to pick you up in an hour"
I replied "No they won't"
He asked why?
I replied "You didn't give them our address"
Never impressed my dad as much as I did that day.
We had the soup thing happen in our house as well. Tho it was split pea. They would add all sorts of things to "make it better," which always made it worse. They would even sit with us at school during lunch to try to make us eat it and nothing else. It did a tremendous amount of damage to both me and my sibling.
The "parents trying to turn their kids against the other parents after separating" reminds me of how my mom would sometimes tell me and my brother how our dad didn't love us or care for us as much as she did. Never believed her but it was first years later I realized "man that's kind of a fucked up thing to tell your kids"
At my grandfather's last birthday, my mother told some stories about growing up, including a time when she was forced to sit at the dinner table for hours because my grandparents wanted her to eat something she hated. When I brought up that she and the man she married after my father did the exact same thing to me as a kid, she shrugged it off, saying something like "oh yeah, that wasn't great, huh", but also pushed off the responsibility to said husband. Granted, it was very likely his doing and not hers (even though that guy was one of the pickiest eaters I've ever met), but she also didn't step in. Nor did she step in for most of the other abuse from him. I don't talk to her anymore (there was just no getting around it at my grandfather's birthday). Enabling abuse is just as bad as the abuse itself.
I am 60yr and suffer from food issues that developed when i was young. it may never get better
Love sharing stories of having Fod awful experiences with parents(like that time my stepdad accused my of "getting ready to pull the autism card" for not doing dishes... when I simply forgot because I had several other chores that day).
Why does he think that autism is like uno?
I wish I could have my story read in public. My mom left me and my two siblings (one of which is autistic and has support needs) with my narcissistic and verbally ab*sive father just so she could travel the country and volunteer at Twilight conventions for 7 years. This is the skin of a bad mother, Bella. 😅
And I have so many others. Like my father telling me that I dress frumpy and ugly to school (I wore a school uniform that consisted of black slacks and a school t shirt), along with other things like I walk like a man, and having hair above my shoulders meant I was trying to attract women because obviously no boy would find me attractive, and he would buy me things in pink because it's the girl color, etc.
Not just starving a child, but making them eat rotten food too.
I work in Family Law and in my state you have to take a specific parenting-divorce class as part of the divorce process…
You can tell when parents have taken the class and just ignored all the lessons.
I have a question, can parents tell their kids what to say in therapy? When I first started therapy my mom said that I wasn’t going to “trash talk her” when I was with my therapist and that my therapist was going to “correct me” so it was tricky opening up to her, so is that legal?
2:33 My parents did this too, even with slurs, and honestly, it was so damaging.
Me and my siblings are biracial (black dad & white mom) and grew up in a white dominated area. We weren’t taught anything about racism by either of them, and when we heard a child say the n-word all our mom said was that it was a bad word and that we shouldn’t use it. I had no clue what it meant and thought it was on the same level as a ‘fuck’ or ‘bitch’ so when I had white friends who would say it, either around me or “playfully” calling me one directly, I didn’t think much of it.
The No magic rule baffles me since Jezus performer miracles ...
Pastor's daughter at my highschool wasn't allowed to read Harry Potter due to the magic. . . But they let her, I remind you a High Schooler, read fifty shades of grey. . . .Logic
The only watching rated G thing is actually a huge thing for a lot of christians. It tends to have an opposit affect though and the kids turn out super rebellious
had multiple experiences similar to the soup one. wasn't allowed to eat for about four meals because i refused to try some beans, and was only allowed to eat once i was offered scrambled eggs instead (both of wich i refuse to eat to this day). later on was forced to sit at the table for hours because the butternut squash soup tasted so bad i couldn't eat it.
7:50 YES. My cousin and I are both Christians. I LOVE metal music and she told me that she stays away from it because she’s worried about satanic stuff.
Metal music isn’t inherently satanic, and for the one (satirical) satanic band I like (Ghost), it doesn’t mean anything to me. I love their music and I love God. It doesn’t have to be one or the other
Trauma dumping provides all my essential nutrients for the day
Regarding the first story, my mom was like this. If I didn’t eat dinner, I was told to go to bed hungry or eat. I would often just go to bed hungry. This led to me having a restrictive eating disorder for a decade that I’m still struggling with. I have my own toddler daughter, now. When she doesn’t want to eat her food, I get annoyed of course. A part of my brain wants to tell her to eat the food or go to bed hungry as my own mom did starting at her age, but I know that can cause issues as it did to me. So I have to collect myself and offer her something simple and healthy so I’m not cooking a brand new dinner yet still food. I don’t ever want her to go to bed hungry bc she didn’t like something. It’s a hard cycle to break that takes effort to break through of your terrible upbringing.
Find out WHY she doesn't want to eat it. Talk to a child nutritionist.
14:03 my preschool went along with weird things too, once in preschool me and my classmates had to do this activity where we put a sticker of our favorite food/meal on a paper then write why we liked that food/meal
my favorite food was strawberries or mac n cheese at the time, and that wasnt a option
i was stubborn so i insisted i choose mac n cheese and i didnt care if i had to draw it (i was getting into art at the time due to my mom so i was willing to do it)
after a little bit of slight arguing with one of the teachers the kid next to me took a paper, put the spagetti sticker on and the teacher wrote "because ellie didnt like it" or something along the lines of that
The no magic one had me laughing. I had to get and read the Harry Potter books in secret from my high school library behind my mom's back (bc it glorified witchcraft) and yet for some reason she was totally cool with me reading and developing a special interest in the Percy Jackson books as a 9 year old 😂
In my 7th birthday party my stepdad cursed me out cause we were play volleyball with a balloon and it was ‘gonna break the ceiling fan’. My mom spent the next couple hours trying to calm him down while my sister was sitting with me cause I was crying hysterically
Lmao at the voracious reader one. My mom didn't like me reading books about magic (until Harry Potter came along and her siblings/adults around her started praising it) and I loved fantasy books so i just learned to read through the night and return the book to the library before she saw the cover.
12:50 My parents would do the same thing. I would have bad reactions to mixed textures in food/ chew it too much so the texture was bad/ it was too squishy. I got force fed a lot, especially if I threw it up instead of eating the rest. It made me super distrustful of eating in front of them and I would go days without eating if they didn't stop me. When I attempted to hoard food they got really mad and pulled me around by my shoulder to clean it out of my stash.
4:41 same. But they would force me to sit still and watch those extremely violent Christian movies like Left Behind. Hands over eyes during kissing scenes etc.
I managed to sneak around with the books until my mother caught me with a Spirit Animals book with a title "Ties of Blood" and took away the library card for months.
its so werid how they get mad when you wont eat and then get more mad when you stash food. About 3 months after the soup thing in this video my mom yelled at me for stashing protien bars. I feel you dude, i hope your doing well
I have the same type of story about the mom lying about the dad just because of hate and divorce.
When my brother and I were younger, my mom used to tell us about how inadequate my dad was. She had main custody of us, and always tried to make it seem like our dad was a lazy person. But, in our eyes as little kids back then, he was doing his absolute best to be in our lives. We didn't understand why our mom was bad-mouthing him. He was always on time to pick us up, even moving closer to my mom to make it easier for us for school, etc. I remember during the nights he came to pick us up for his weekend, he would stand inside my moms house, taking in her harsh words to him, while we were playing in the living room. We didn't understand why she was mean to him, and never believed her false narrative about him.
When I was twelve I was told I had to start getting used to carrying a purse because of being a women. Though, in my case it was because period supplies. I never did enjoy carrying it. Now I have a cute little backpack that has everything I need in it.
23:21 bitching about my mom w my dad is very much a bonding exercise (that wasn’t my email but I do this w my dad💀)
This one time (I’m sure this happened other times too) when I was pretty little maybe like five or six, my dad decided I was running around too much and had gotten too excited while I was playing in Our house at a family event with my sister and cousin (basically it Wasn’t like a fancy adult formal kind of thing) so he took me to the bottom of the basement stairs forcefully and held me there while I screamed and cried and said he wouldn’t stop squeezing me till I stopped trying to move around. Worst feeling ever. A decade later I was diagnosed with autism, gee I wonder why I needed to move around so much.
My favourite childhood trauma that still continues to this day: the sexualization of anything I do or wear.
Me wearing jeggings and a loose but not baggy shirt with converse to college? Am dressed sexy and must have a boyfriend.
Recently and may not be seen as sexualization to some but is sexualization in this case because of the life long sexualization, me cleaning a small part of my room (cuz I was too tired to do the whole room) is done because I must 😮💨 have a boyfriend and they are coming over.
My mom locked me out of the house and drove off once, I was 14 and still in my pajamas, and my phone was dead
not the fact that i clocked your shirt as dogecore immediately, i'm so obsessed w/ them
I wanted to send stories in for this one so badly but I just didn't for some reason.
I knew a couple in high school who had to break up when they found out they’re second cousins
Oh god that’s brutal
Two people at my school found out they were cousins and kept dating 🤮🤮
I’m just happy that people were able to be vulnerable and interact directly with the content a lot of us resonate with.
Also, flooded with submissions about parental trauma? We don’t know her 😂
Would the deepest part of the Bible Belt be the Bible Buckle? Also I'm always amazed at people that were able to beat games when they were young children. I didn't start developing real skills and actually beating games until my early-mid teens, then only started beating them regularly even later in life.
The deepest part of the Bible belts is the sweaty waistband of the Bible pants.
My mom made my dad look like a terrible person, once she put makeup on her arm to make it look like she was grazed by a bullet, and blaming my dad for nearly killing her, needless to say my dad got full custody of me and my sister and my dad is doing wonderful and now with his new wife(my stepmom), my dad never wronged me and I deeply love him, daddy’s girl for life❤❤
My mom tried turning me and my siblings against our father , before they were ever divorce , he was working alot to care for all of us (5 siblings at the time) , he did hurt me as a little child and admitted fault , and I'm not close to him at all , but he's turn out way better then my mom and didn't even know what she was doing (my mom should be in jail but she ain't)
This first story remind me so much of when I got my first period and was judged by my peers for it :(
I remember my step dad making a big deal about having a pocket wallet and a wristwatch when I was in 6th grade or there abouts.
the soup story- even if it wasnt a punishment, MOLDY SOUP ???
The story about the mom lying about dad being gay makes me so thankful my mom was/is so careful to never trash talk my father or my younger siblings father (even though the latter is a terrible narcissist who also did the ‘you must finish this food or not eat at all’ on like 3 different children aged between 4 and 10.) none of whom were related to him and one of which wasn’t even his stepchild, it was literally my cousin?
so that’s why wednesday is hump day!
According to the laws of the state I live in (Nebraska, US) the mom and stepbrother constitutes as incest. They are closely related by family marriage. The post that you read implied that they have been family members for a while now (the writer called this man uncle). In my opinion it doesn't matter that they aren't biological relatives, and I think most people would agree. 😢
Okay, but WHY is the incest even wrong? Like, genetics, I get it. This story, it sucks, because she left the daughter, and moved on after one month after death of her husband probably. Why is the incest part a problem here?
@@matissimoj1190well, aside from the genetic stuff, incest has a bunch of fucked up power dynamics involved.
I think the one between parent and child is obvious, but between siblings or close cousins it can cause all sorts of long lasting mental health issues because your brain has a hard time reconciling the combination of familial, sexual, and romantic feelings.
Most people have an innate sense of disgust because that's what we evolved to feel because these relationships are physically detrimental to us, so I'm sure you can imagine the emotional cocktail when you enter a relationship that is intentionally going against your innate biological senses. It's why a relationship between step-siblings still elicits that same sense of disgust. The human brain can pretty easily adopt people who aren't genetically related to us as a member of our family, but once they've been mentally associated with family it triggers all the same responses that it would to a biological family member.
Aside from that, incest basically never occurs in the wild unless siblings are unknown to each other. It's almost all the ways the result of some sort of familial dysfunction or abuse. Those dysfunctional Dynamics can then be passed on to the descendants of the incestuous couple.
From what I understand, most places tend to say it's okay around third cousins because you're distant enough that the family Dynamics and the genetics no longer pose any sort of risk of trauma.
TL;DR it never occurs unless something has already gone horribly wrong, and it causes a whole bunch of mental health and physical issues in the long term.
@@pennyforyourthots Idk, a few centuries ago I'm pretty sure incest was a norm. And yeah, we DO feel the disgust for it, but how do we know, that it's not just a social disgust? Maybe if we lived in another society, we wouldn't find it "icky"? What if it's just a part of our natural xenophobia?
Or maybe, because in most cases the incest was between genetic siblings, it was some genetic trait, that just died out, but could thrive if the incest would happen step-siblings?
Personally, the more I thought about it, the less I see a reason for the morality in sibling incest. Even though I still condemn genetical incest, I don't find any problem with it morally.
@@matissimoj1190yikes imagine defending incenst🤢
@@---Melody--- I'm just trying to have opinions based on logical arguments, instead of being like "oh I feel icky, so it's bad". That's the way political right feels about gay/trans people right now. I don't want to be like them, so I look for answers "why it feels icky". I couldn't find that answer for the "stepincest" yet. Genetics in standard incest, sure. Power dynamics in cros-generational one, also makes sense. But for the step-sibling one? I don't see the argument for now.
Ah, parental trauma... Gotta love it 👍
Out of context “I hope you enjoyed some parental trauma”
Gods my parental trauma and workplace trauma stories could fill an entire series. Loving this format and your shirt.
The food story hits home because also started secretly hoarding food, but I don’t recall when it started, and I was regularly either sent to bed without dinner or forced to eat all the food on my plate no matter how bad the texture was and I recall several times that I puked because of the food’s texture
The fact I have multiple perfect ones about my parents and wish I could've sent it in in time
I have so many that it would take a month to compile them... And then it would be so long no one would be interested in it.... So I get to just work through it alone.
The no magic thing reminded me of my childhood. My mum burned my My Little Pony collection after she converted to christianity when I was in primary school.
That’s horrible, I’m sorry.
13:50 reminds me of the time in preschool i was given a plain veggie burger patty instead of a regular hamburger like the rest of my class (not on accident, my family was on a vegetarian diet at the time), and i didn't like it so i didn't eat it (maybe i would've liked it if they actually put it in a bun with ketchup) & wanted to just eat the side of tater tots instead. The teacher refused to let me eat anything else until i finished the burger and saved it for weeks, repeatedly giving it back to me until i ate it all (i never did). Obviously it got worse as the weeks went on because it was getting old and stale. I didn't realize how messed up and unsafe this was at the time so I didn't bring it up to my parents until years later & they were outraged. Wish I knew to bring it up to them so I would've been able to eat lunch all that time
I would love to see one of these episodes on insane teachers because boy do I have some stories
She did one about terrible sex ed, that has some bad teachers in it. But also yeah definitely!
14:44 yeah it's one thing to say my child has food restrictions, it's another to just tell them not to give them food and the school to be ok with that without explicitly saying they need accommodations or something. I easily develop my own issues from minor situations I can't imagine how strong that issue could be from that happening for a whole WEEK as a CHILD. that is insane. I am so so sorry.
People give CPS etc far too much credit when it comes to protecting children and doing the right thing.
They are trash.
the wallet one makes me think of the time in highschool, I was a metal head guy and I was hanging out with a few friends and one was a girl I had a crush on. She painted my nails black and it was kinda cool cus I was exploring being more alternative. when I got home my dad started yelling at me and said I needed to take it off because people would think I was gay. I started crying because I'm an emotional mess and he made more homophobic remarks and my sister helped me remove it.
So in the soup story the mom starved her straight for a few days??
Daycares just suck. I'm 30 now and I remember my daycare having us pee with our legs open and the door open, I think I remember the excuse of them making sure we were actually using the bathroom but still. Plus the icing on the cake was one day after my mom picked me up and she was giving me a bath and she saw a huge bite mark on my arm that the daycare didn't tell her about. There was a boy that played with the blocks everyday and one day I tried playing with the blocks too. Once again I'm 30 years old now and those memories have stuck with me more than I wish they could.
My step mom wouldn't allow us to eat or sleep until we finished a long list of tasks she gave us for the day. We also had to keep doing the tasks over and over until it was exactly the way she wanted. If ever we asked how to do something she would say "figure it out" or "you should already know". Additionally she'd go into graphic detail about sex, rape, and physical abuse to "warn" us at young ages like 8. She did a lot of guilt tripping too to get us to buy things for our other family members because she thought we were uncaring and unappreciative of all the hard hard work she and the others were doing. She also told us our friends would leave us for the way we behaved.
Jokes on her because we're the ones who left.
My sisters and I were able to make a rapid, albeit not complete recovery. We all have permanent trauma and anxiety but thankfully no eating or sleeping disorders at least.
29:04 hey guys! I am pocket wallet person 😂 i am just as baffled as everyone is by my own father. I never understood the "pocket wallet = lesbian" pipeline
But now I need to know… if a pocket wallet makes you a lesbian, what does a belt wallet make you? Trans???
@@nerdisaur good theory! If lesbians carry pocket wallets, what do gay men have?
My trauma story is my mother turning a blind eye to my oldest brother SAing me from a really young age, she would walk in the room, see but not see, and then tell medical proffessionals that she thought "it was a game". I didnt get taken from her until i was ten.
Here’s my fun story: once (when I was 21 years old to be clear, so a whole adult) I was at my parents house and I went for a drive when my dad told me not to so he called the cops on me and got them to find me by lying that I was going to kill myself. I was shopping at Plato’s Closet when they found me.
Shoot, my mother had a predator instinct, of you attempt to escape her go to is to incapacitate. She treated you like a perp resisting arrest.
17:40 the crazy thing about parents controlling food is that even if they are doing it to try and help form healthy habits it can backfire. I wasn’t allowed to eat after 4pm because we’d be having dinner an hour or two later, I absolutely hated that rule. I wasn’t good about eating my dinner because I always hated meat so they thought not letting me eat beforehand would help. now i’ve struggled with binging, restricting, purging etc
"Because I said so."
My mother said that all the time, but she at least had a reason besides laziness. She was dead-exhausted 24/7 because she was married to a man-baby and had to take care of the entire house, do all the childcare, AND serve him hand and foot or get verbally/physically abused.
But she at least told me "Because I said so. I'm too tired to explain it to you. I just need you to trust me when I say it's bad." Most of the time, that was all I needed. Just a CRUMB of communication instead of 'just 'cause,' because that isn't communicating.
My mother said that because she was authoritarian. Using logic with her pissed her off.
For the soup one they’re so lucky that kid didn’t get botulism
Mmm yum trauma
yummy yum yum
The purse thing would be a disaster for me because I forgot I'm holding things and then I drop them so I'm very much limited to bags with a long strap that goes over the shoulder or I'm going to drop it
I would love to see a part two of these stories
Please do another part of going through the parental trauma emails you got
My dad once told my family autism wasn't real.... i'm autistic,
"No immodesty". There goes almost every single episode of Original Star Trek.