ive never understood how people say nostalgia is bittersweet, to me it's gut wrenching. like even right now i can't even enjoy things fully because i know that it will be over eventually.
for me it’s like, in the beginning it was gut wrenching. But overtime as I tried to look forward more and cope w it, it’s gotten more bittersweet towards only certain memories tho 😭
There are actual studies showing that while nostalgia can be harmless, even beneficial to some people, other people (such as people with high anxiety personalities) can find nostalgia very damaging. Wish I could find the studies to link to it, pretty interesting
YES. And people will say “just enjoy the moment” like ITS NOT THAT SIMPLE AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I just want to enjoy a moment while it’s happening but I get caught up thinking about how it will be over in even a few hours.
Between the stimulus checks, most everyone having actual free time, and nature temporarily healing, it was truly a glimpse into how amazing life could actually be….
They aren't saying they didn't or that bad things didn't happen. They are pointing out that because society was forced to shut down, and capitalism was forced to halt a bit, that we got to see what would be possible with more guaranteed income, free time to spend with loved ones or alone, and that nature was reclaiming things and acting differently due to the lack of human activity (especially noise pollution). And that seeing what life could be like with more stability, human interaction/connection (even online), and more natural occurrences is a beautiful thing. Of course, this was not a great time for everything or everyone (especially those with abusive households or who lost their apartments.) Two things can be true at once. And frankly, it's sad that we had to have a giant pandemic for society to shut down enough for us to see we don't have to keep doing this grind that is killing us and the planet forever. @@KhaiNguyen-vm1et
@@KhaiNguyen-vm1etand we could have more free time more rest more relaxation be less destructive to nature and no one would have to die. It's just not gonna happen until the world is literally forced to do it. Which the powers that be won't force corporations and societies to make it happen. So I don't blame people for enjoying what will probably be their only chance to ever see it happen. Back to working ourselves to death!
my brother got diagnosed with cancer literally ten days after i got home from college for the lockdown (he is now cancer free). it was awful at the time but i am so weirdly nostalgic for those times now. it’s like looking back at a “simpler time” where i felt like i had a valid excuse for feeling unwell
Wow. "A valid excuse for feeling unwell" is SUCH a good description that I've felt in for a long time, but never been able to put into words. THANK YOU
That last part is so true. My emotions felt easily justifiable back then because my dad passed from COVID-- of course I'm doing poorly, my dad is gone. It almost felt nice to have a neat answer for why I felt so horribly.
i'm turning 18 this summer and the nostalgia i've been feeling since i turned 17 has been insane. I always wanted to be older ever since I was young and now I don't want to grow up and i've been feeling nostalgic for the pandemic. It was nice when I was 14 and didn't know what was coming for me in my high school years and my regrets since.
i’m turning 20 in about 2 weeks, but when i was 17 i used to get so stressed thinking about the “adult world”. i moved out and into a different city at 18, and feel a lot more relaxed about my place in the world. when you’re still in high school, it feels like everything is happening in a very linear progression. everything moves forward and you have to move with it. you figure out once you leave and see more things and meet more people that you can pace yourself. stuff can be really hard but it’s much easier to deal with at the same time. slowly but surely you will learn how to live. you get a chance to breathe a little better in the real world - whether you’re a student or working or anything in between i think it’s really important to hang on to older members of your community - whether that be relatives, family friends, or even slightly older friends. it’s very comforting seeing how your loved ones got through it. they were asking the same questions and feeling the same thoughts as you are now. it’s never too late to start, pause, pick up, revisit etc etc. also it’s very comforting seeing people a couple years older than you and realising they’re just as stupid lol
I miss 2019 and before sometimes I just think about what the world would be like if Covid never happened. truthfully, in general, (not looking at individual peoples lives) the world has just gotten worse since then😢
I’ve heard people say this but I’ve never been more lonely and distressed in my life than when everything shut down. I feel like people miss having the pressure taken off for a little bit and sharing a rare collective experience with others.
True for me the feeling that people where in this together felt amazing. Seeing a rainbow drawn on a window or families making parody songs, starting homeschoole with my mom, seeing Animal crossing grow and amoung us explode in popularity, it all felt weirdly cozy. But it alsow felt really lonely i knew others where stressed about their families and jobs and I didn't have anyone to see or anything to do it is nice to be able to see others
The comment about the praise kink from the phlebotomist reminded me of when I was getting tested for gestational diabetes, where you get multiple blood draws in a few hours, and I pointed to the “good vein” that most phlebotomists went to in the past. But he looked at me and said “oh yeah, I’m saving that for later.” Had me leaving like “sir?? What are we” at like 30 weeks pregnant
I was 13 when the pandemic hit, I really miss those spring mornings, not caring about online school, zoom calls and Kahoot, playing the ukulele (💀), watching animal crossing videos. It was a weird time to be growing up and I feel so guilty to admit it but I am glad it happened. I didn’t care about the rest of the world, just rotting in my room. It feels so painful to know that it’s over and I won’t experience it again even though in the long term it destroyed my mental health.
I played animal jam, animal crossing with my bestie at the time and I watched amphibia and the owl house but also was going through recovery at the time because I had back surgery though I liked it because I’m an introvert but now I really have no friends lmao💀
@@Irishmando15510 I hope your recovery went well. The friends I had at the time in 2020 kinda ditched me when my mental health was too much for them in 2022 💀, I spent over a year grieving that loss and feeling resentful. Im very introverted too and it seemed scary making friends, I guess my advice is to put yourself out there and push your limits, and as long as you look sad and lonely enough someone will take pity on you lol /j
@@salty_sour2469 my best friend I had at the time recently ditched me this year💀 she moved away and we kept contact but she became toxic and rude wouldn’t accept the fact I’m neurodivergent bullied me for my intrest I blocked her because she was too much to deal with Also her friends cyberbullied me so I blocked them lmao💀 overall making friends is hard for a neurodivergent person but I have two friends who have the same intrest and Same thing as me so that’s nice.
This reminds me of how I get really nostalgic for certain aspects of my childhood, even though my upbringing was very traumatic. I look back at all the shows, games, get-togethers, sleepovers, etc, with fondness because they were the only thing bringing a teeny tiny bit of positivity into my very negative life. It makes me question my own memories, like "was my childhood really that bad?" GIRL, YES IT WAS. 😭 Your brain is just trying to cope and hide things. It's hard to explain, I dunno.
It's hard for me to feel nostalgia for a time in my life where I was worried EVERY DAY that my severely immunocompromised mother would catch covid and die. It was quite literally the most stressful point in my life, and the only part about that time that I miss is the fact that my mom was still alive. So, I feel kind of weird about hearing people say they miss that time.... 🙃
as someone who had to go through online school...i do not miss the pandemic. i went months without brushing my teeth in the morning and never getting out of my pajamas. its so nice to just go to school and be able to be outside around people and actually having school things again.
BRUUUUUUTAL, this made me realize even more how brutal my situation is, I'm still online schooling for several reasons out of my control, I am and have been living the same exact life since the pandemic, I can't even remember the last time I've spoken to someone my age
I was homeschooled before covid and i feel the same sometimes. That feeling of "school sucks" but "i miss having a routine and more social interactions"
i was in a deep psychosis during the entire pandemic & it made me lose every single person in my life at the time & it ended when i tried to commit suicide. i was also being abused during the time & overall it was genuinely horrible . but i look back at it as wow i was so confident & i spent so much time with my friends & bf at the time & i enjoyed becoming a diff version of myself . i look back at it constantly with nostalgia but i was SO MISERABLE . i hate covid it took everything from me . i am so much happier now but i despise covid so much
I have so many good memories from the pandemic, but as someone from Victoria Australia that had one of the strictest lockdowns in the world, those memories are well overshadowed by the endless fatigue and depression.
thats so real. also from victoria and i come from a rural town so i could probably count on one hand how many times i interacted with people face-to-face outside of my family that whole year
Yes!! The only people I ever saw in person for 4 months straight was my family and even as an introvert, I was severely craving human interaction. I can't imagine what it was like for those who were living alone
I can't remember a single good time from those years, I was young but it was still the worst time in my life ever, as a teen now, I still feel the lingering feeling of it, idk if like is gonna be the same again
I was at the public library with my fifth-grade class researching Marie Curie for a wax museum project. I remember saying goodbye to my teacher and her saying "See you on Monday!"
@@whatcanidooo March 2020 was the first time I came out of my depression and felt like a human not because of quarantine so because of that it's something I am nostalgic for still feels so wrong to say it cause so many people suffered around the world
Omg it just clicked, I remember telling a friend a week ago that March is always when my mental health takes the hardest hit and I think this is why - the pandemic made me feel so isolated and alone and I think my body is just reliving it every year. Thank you for the video, I feel like people aren't talking about it enough
You don't feel nostalgic for times or things that ended up truly harming you. We feel nostalgic for surviving successfully. My stepdad got diagnosed with cancer also in May 2020. He passed away a year later. I am nostalgic for May 2020 because I still had him in my life. I am not nostalgic for May 2021. Because it did not end well. You can be nostalgic for a difficult time that you got through successfully. You will never be nostalgic for a time that you came out of with a true loss or net negative. That's a signal from your brain reminding you to be grateful for what you still have, or have gained, currently. Go make even better memories with your mom ❤
Genuinely, thank you so much for this comment. I’m a survivor who suffers from severe C-PTSD and this past week has been exceptionally rough. This outlook shifted something within me and eased so much pain, I’m going to remember it for a very long time. Sending so much love to both you and your family🫂
Its so validating to hear someone talk about nostalgia being super painful. I also have such a hard time just missing and yearning for older times even when they sucked so bad!
I took care of a little boy during the Pandemic and honestly I am one of those people who are nostalgic as it was so wonderful to watch him grow up and teach him how to count and talk. ❤
This exactly, I moved in with my cousin to help look after her kids because her and her husband had to work ridiculous hours! I got to watch her oldest get ready for the 11+ and pass with flying colours, I got to do forest school with the youngest and spend hours at the park teaching the middle one to skateboard it was blissful and we went on so many adventures together in the local woods making dens and looking for insects
i think any sort of 'nostalgia' i feel for earlier in the p4ndemic comes from people caring. now that c0vid is the worst it has ever been and very few people are still masking/up to date on v4ccines is very disheartening and i yearn for the earlier days in that respect.
THANK YOU. I’m so tired of being the only person I know who still cares. I’m still living the exact same lifestyle I was in early quarantine but I have to watch people who don’t GAF living a normal life.
THIS THIS THIS. it feels so insanely tone deaf and disrespectful for people to say they “miss” covid and they “miss” the pandemic. how do you miss something that never left?? people are fucking suffering. but 100% agree, what I miss is when people cared. At least I could pretend humans cared about each other. now it’s too obvious everyone is jumping for any opportunity to kill those in their community. I miss feeling like we were genuinely all in this together, but instead everyone was so excited to leave us all behind
what do you mean by covid is the worst it has ever been? i'm genuinly curious. my country lifted all lockdown restrictions long ago and i was under the impression vaccination had made it a lesser issue at this point - as in vulnerable people might still catch it, but the same way they'd catch any other disease. i just googled it and the WHO declared it's not an public health emergency anymore in 2023. i don't mean any offense, but your statement really surprised me.
Thank you for talking about this! My entire family is immunocompromised and the pandemic took a big toll on my mental health in a way that I haven’t heard from anyone else. Contamination OCD was debilitating and I’m so happy that I’m healing from it finally
I’m swedish so I never experienced the pandemic. I just had to watch as everyone in other countries slowly got worse mental health, while I only had to stay 6 meters away from people when I was standing in the line for lunch at school. It felt so weird.
Omg seems like Sweden was the only reasonable country who didn't go through the living hell of restrictions like most of the other countries, especially Australia where you couldn't even walk outside your house 😡 You were truly blessed here in Sweden, seems like most people don't even realize that
Uhhhh Sweden was literally purposefully withholding treatment for elderly people during the early portion of the pandemic because they classed them as disposable. The pandemic most definitely did and continues to happen in Sweden. The pandemic isn't over.
The day lockdown started in my community was my birthday on st Patrick’s day and I went to school all dressed up only to find out over half the kids were in quarantine. I felt like I was in a dystopian zombie apocalypse and I was just trying to live in complete denial of everything that was happening and telling myself that nothing was real. My birthday has felt so weird and has given me anxiety every year since
i get this ! i have a march bday too, i had to have it on zoom and i baked my own cake and ordered an outfit off of amazon and the entire time my friendgroup just teased me and made fun of me, so now i dont really like celebrating my bday. i prefer to just do a regular get together, maybe gifts with my individual friendgroups. but this year is my sweet 16 and my mom wants to throw me a big party as she wasnt allowed to for hers, so im listening to her because she deserves that experience yk? but im so anxious about it i literally cannot sleep as i think about everything that could possibly go wrong idk maybe its normal to feel anxious abt that kind of thing but it was just so horrible
I always talking to my wife about my quarantine nostalgia, every time those music played on tiktok during lockdown is very very strong nostalgic to me, as in I never felt this feeling before in my 36 years of life
tysm so much for making this, not only do i also feel nostolgia for 2020 but i also have ocd and constantly ruminating on the past is such a struggle for me, it makes it so hard to move on from literally anything, good or bad, this made me feel like maybe its not just me, ty ^^
I have never heard someone put my thoughts into words like this. Nostalgia HURTS sometimes. Honestly, some things I get 'nostalgic' about weren't even amazing. But, when I look back and romanticize them and suddenly they become the best day ever.
i graduated on my couch in 2020. i lost my great grandpa to covid and almost lost my great grandma. covid put all my plans for college and moving on up on hold. my anxiety and depression raised and im still trying to manage it. seeing 'i miss the pandemic/im so nostalgic for the pandemic' makes me sick to my stomach. it wasn't a fun time, and if it was you're delusional.
The pandemic made all of my mental illnesses worse (and I began to experience depression and ocd only after it) so I don’t miss it whatsoever, but I feel the same about 2014-17 summers as a kid. They were pretty careless times, I even try to dress how the teens I watched on RUclips dressed then but it definitely is still a painful dread that the happiest moments were in the past… But this video is helping remind me that it’s all in my head and the happiest moments may be yet to come (and my childhood sucked in many ways that have improved since too)
this video is actually very helpful. I’ve been struggling with feeling nastolgic about the months in 2021 i’ve spent homeless as a result of a bad relationship. I’ve been shown a lot of kindness and felt torn over how i felt about the world around me and my own happiness back then. i knew deep inside that it was a rose-tinted glasses situation but needed to hear someone else say it to feel like it’s legit.
I still remember grabbing a work packet from school that they said was in case we needed to work from home. That was the last day I would ever face a normal school day.
some things i miss from the pandemic: no cars on the freeways/little traffic, being on large discord calls with my friends playing video games, getting unemployment and relief funds because i lost my job. that's about it. everything else was pretty lame or terrible. i can probably name like 20 bad things for every good thing, but when i'm in traffic i think about lockdown, or when i get on a video game with a small group i miss our rowdy discord calls, and when i look at my credit card statements i think about how dumb i was with that money i got lol
2019 was one of the hardest years of my life, so 2020 felt like I could finally breathe. Mainly it was the isolation that was nice but still such a tragic event for so many
Whenever I'm happy, which unfortunately isn't very often anymore (not asking for pity), it's always overrun with the thought that that moment will end and that once it's over I'll never be in that moment feeling the feelings that I am ever again. That I won't be the same person anymore. That I'll never be that happy again. It's honestly terrifying and creates knots in my stomach.
I would argue that even tho we’re nostalgic about the positive things we remember from back then, it’s actually NEGATIVITY bias. It’s because we’re ruminating on the things we’re unhappy about right now e.g constant workload, no time for hobbies and wishing we could be in a time where we don’t have those things. It’s our brains being negative about our current situation and making it seem worse by casting a brighter light on our past. It’s the same as comparing yourself to other ppl online bcus you hate your life except it’s your own self so even more convincing. Back then we were nostalgic about pre-covid and probably in a few years we’ll be nostalgic about now even tho we’re having a horrible time in an economic recession. We always crave what we can’t have at a particular moment because we’re deeply unhappy with our lives! I don’t think it’s ’nostalgia depression’ specifically, it’s just depression and we’re stuck in a loop 😢
I was a full time service worker during the pandemic so I can hardly relate to anyone’s pandemic nostalgia. I didn’t get to sit at home and relax. I didn’t get to talk to friends and family. I was interacting with the crazed public during a worldwide pandemic. Dealing with people screaming at the top of their lungs about how either masks were good or bad every day. It was insanity.
In October, I realized that what I have been struggling with for years is OCD. It has been an extremely hard few months because of it, and I have felt so alone. No one has made me feel more seen than you did in just this one video. So, thank you for making me feel like I'm not alone in this
i have been feeling nostalgic lately over mid 2020 - 2022 which was a really awful time for me. I've been feeling really guilty over it but you’ve helped me look at it with less guilt, thank you for that 💛
My experience was really different. I was in boot camp. After our first two normal weeks Friday the 13th they told us the country shut down and we wouldn’t be leaving soon. Training shifted, privileges were taken, masks enforced, the airport ghost town, everyone 6 feet apart
It's crazy how we can feel nostalgic for the worst times of our lives. The past always feels like it was better than whatever we are experiencing currently. We remember the positives, but not the negatives. Side note, the look is absolutely slaying in this video 💅
I think the saddest part is that we’ll never be the world we were before 2020 and I only started experiencing it as a young 18-19 year old adult Inflation at its worst, everything’s getting pricey, people seem more toxic than ever
the fact that you made a video celebrating quitting your job over 4 years ago also means that i started watching your videos 4 years ago and that’s something i’m happy to be nostalgic about😇😇😇😇
girl you get it. nostalgia is SUCH a complex feeling for me too. i have so much nostalgia for terrible times in my life because my brain like tricks me inti thinking that it was way better than it actually was. it also makes me think that things maybe weren’t as bad as i thought/i am exaggerating (i also have ocd 😭😭)
It’s both a traumatic and nostalgic time for me. 2020 was one of the best years of my life for the sole reason that it was before so much trauma occurred in my life. It’s funny you mention Temple U, as it’s kind of triggered me a little extra on a video I came to reminisce on the time of my life before my ex, who also attended Temple U. He was ab*sive, a r*pist, and just awful in every way, and he took away my naivety from the freshly 18y/o girl i was in March 2020. Despite my life being so much better now, I will forever miss the girl i was before meeting him on tinder in April 2020, and eventually dating him the next year. And for that reason, I think i’ll always be extra nostalgic towards the start of the pandemic. He destroyed a version of me that i miss so dearly, and despite all the work I’ve put into building a new, better life, I will continue to miss that girl who had not yet been exposed to some of the world’s worst evils.
I get nostalgia for the pandemic because I didn’t have work and I got to do things on my terms but then I get the gut wrenching feeling because I was the most depressed I had ever been because I had no schedule so I don’t miss it at all I just miss the freedom
I hate nostalgia, it makes me go into an existential crisis, crying, depression, hurt, guilt. I feel it for covid as that was my young adult days, but also my childhood as I don’t remember a lot of it. I always cried myself asleep about missing or not embracing crucial moments of my life more than I should have. So looking back is a horrible feeling, I know most of the time I did nothing wrong but I’ll always feel guilty and want to go back. I completely understand how you feel and always wondered why people loved their nostalgic memories
Why did I used to cry the night after a great day thinking I should’ve enjoyed it more, or now I feel like the things I do remember like covid are only good things and I wish I was taken back. I know I should be enjoying what I have now, I’ve built a great life, but I feel guilty for always reminiscing on good and bad things in the past
I am a very sentimental person, and I definitely do understand the "omg I miss some parts of the pandemic," (i.e the giant discord friend group calls while playing games because that was the *only* way you could talk to other people, and there wasn't a class to go to so I would play games for the entire night). I don't miss the pademic and the illness it brought, several of my family members contracted it, and my grandmother passed from it. However, now as a student in similar isolation as I was then (i.e I talk to almost no one I did then) I really do understand missing that feeling of community it brought, and the feeling of being able to fully express myself and what I was going through. On the other hand I was like severely mentally ill so
I haven’t felt nostalgic for the pandemic since some time last year. Feeling all the hard feelings for the first time since lockdown in little bursts every now and then. I just started a new job in childcare. I work in a 2-3 year old room and one day I happened to notice that most of the children in my care that day were born in 2021-2022. After the entire world changed. I fixated on this for the rest of the day in the back of my mind, and broke down when I get to my car at the end of the day. I’m trying to keep my weekends free, or if I’m on an early shift, give myself an afternoon where I do nothing. Just put RUclips on and play stardew valley until I decide I’m hungry. It feels cleansing, and I feel guilt about it. Trying to be kinder to myself. Thank you for putting it out there that you’re also experiencing this shit ☺️🥹
my granny was in the middle of her leukemia fight during the pandemic, and i was in the same boat of making sure she was okay! glad to hear your mom is cancer free 🎉
Gosh I relate so bad to this- honestly, my quarantine was not terrible. I wrote a lot, got closer to my family and just enjoyed life. I grew so much as a person but also regressed. I can't remember things as clearly as I did. My attention span is HORRIFIC now and I've always been quite motivated when it came to work. So while I enjoyed life for what seemed like the first time, turns out I became much more anxious (I didn't want to return to high school) and I can hardly get out of bed. Even worse, my aunt died to covid in 2021. So imagine how guilty I feel when I crave being in that time once again.
can relate so hard with your story. my mom also had cancer a few months into lockdown. i was also so scared of infecting her that i was not seeing any friends in person for months. it was horrible and i think its partly the reason i fell prey to a narcissistically abusive relationship that i just recently got out of. i was so isolated and lonely. i dont miss it at all.
It’s a privilege to say you miss quarantine imo. A lot of people died or lost their loved ones during that time, and people had to stay inside a very toxic damaging household for a long time. I miss it too sometimes but I acknowledge how selfish it is for me to say that
i suffer from nostalgia for my early teens 12-15, i was so mentally ill but for some reason id give literally anything to relive that time in my life and i have absolutely no idea why.
I suffer from nostalgia too :( I’m nostalgic for eras I’ve never lived in and remember feeling this way since I was a kid. Got it bad for the lockdown too.
This video was literally for me. Im 17 and recently ive been depressed because i feel like chapters of my life are so short and everything is ending. I keep thinking about how I'll never get to live that part of my life again. I thought I missed being a kid but i honestly just miss being happy and content.
Your message of doing something you would have done in the beginning of the pandemic really hit me because for, what I assumed was no reason, this past weekend I spent some time trying on prom dresses and taking pictures in the dressing room because I didn’t have the opportunity to go to my senior prom in 2020. That struck me as you said that.
The pandamic was a horrible time for me. Not only did it destroy my mental healt but i missed all off the "important" things your supposed to do at age 16-18. Not to mention all the stuff i missed out on, graduation, finishing my last school year, becoming a legal adult, all the events i had planned. Im still trying to do all the things i missed out on
When you started talking about time passing by and us having no control over it…I felt it. The nostalgia for the pandemic bc at that time in March 2020 it felt like time STOOD STILL. Days lasted forever and I for once felt on the same page with everyone, no fomo no nothing. Omg now I’m gonna miss it
I think that as humans, we got to see how the world was when we actually had time to do more for ourselves than the bare minimum. We got to spend time with ourselves, but also we got to see how everyone was affected. It was so drastic and sudden but it felt like the whole world was connected (as it was, but in a really unfortunate way). Nature healed for a bit too. I have bad nostalgia for 2020 cause it was the first time I had so much time to myself and to think, and also the first time where I didn’t have to see people getting ahead and feeling like I’m doing nothing, even though they might be living a more privileged life than I was.
On the one hand, I have OCD with a fear of pandemics (goes back to Ebola in the 90s) that was really giving me intense anxiety at the start of Covid, not to mention the horror of so many people literally dying. On the otherhand, I got to spend time with my family and just garden every day for two months. I definitely miss that part.
I have a sister who is 4 years younger than me and in late 2019 our half sister was born and she was 17 and 21 years younger than us. I stayed with them during quarantine knowing that it would probably be the only time the three of us lived together, I was able to see some of her milestones since usually I live 4 hours away and would have missed a lot of that if not for quarantine, and it really helped me to repair my relationship with my dad and stepmom. The pandemic was awful, but I will always treasure that time I spent with them in quarantine.
honestly, even as a chronically ill person, who became disabled due to covid right in the beginning of it all, i miss that time SO MUCH, and i always feel so weird and guilty about this nostalgia, but it's ok, it's normal, bc my brain tries to erase trauma from all this. it took a long time in therapy to start feeling compassion for myself for these feelings
omg!! I just got diagnosed with OCD 2 weeks ago and the way you experience nostalgia describes me to the literal T. There are so many things I thought were “quirks” of mine but I’m realizing they’re actually OCD symptoms
I just turned 20 and this video came out at the exact right time bc the amount of nostalgia i feel for 2020 and 2021 is crazy. It's not just nostalgia, im mourning the fact that i will never be able to relive that part of my life
This was a good video to watch right now. This was my first reminder that it was around this time the pandemic started. And the past few years I couldn’t forget that fact. It was a good reminder that I am healing and moving past everything that happened in 2020. I really felt seen when you were describing how you would obsess over “the last good memories”, the sadness and pain nostalgia can bring me, and the acknowledgment that it doesn’t feel quite as bad anymore. Thanks for sharing your niche thoughts, it’s nice not feeling as alone in my feeling :)
omg march 13th 2020 was one of the worst days of my life. it was my 17th birthday, quarantine started, my then bf broke up with me at my bday dinner over text (said some nasty $hit) and I had to keep a smile on my face at dinner without breaking down. and now I understand why whenever my bday is coming up I get so depressed and sad and looking back on that day is so painful and mentally debilitating and this video helped me understand WHY. thank you nikki nasty
I feel like a horrible person because the beginning of the pandemic was the best thing ever. I realize how privileged I am to admit that, but it’s true. I know many lost their lives (in a literal or theoretical sense) but for me, I feel like it would not be a hyperbole to say it saved mine. The week before my university shut down, I had finally worked up the courage to go see a counselor because I knew I would not be able to continue if I did not receive help. While she seemed unconvinced I really needed to see her more (because I should just think more positively), we set up another appointment after spring break. That did not happen. What did happen was the world shut down and I went home to a safe place where I got to finish off my senior year remotely (I absolutely loved it and felt like I learned more efficiently than when I was surrounded by people). I was also able to feel more mentally stable. At the time, I knew it was the compounding demands of my social life that were making me feel like I was about to have a break down but it has only been recently that I’ve realized I am most likely autistic and was heavily masking to the destruction of my soul. Now, I am trying to learn to set boundaries. Having nostalgia for the peace that season of covid gave me is not as healthy as just learning to live in the world not without constantly feeling like I’m going to have a mental breakdown, though I completely understand the way you have described nostalgia as being painful. I feel like I’ve been nostalgic since birth and I also deal with a lot of “pre-nostalgia”. (Just wanted to also say that I feel like America was in no way United during covid. That was some of the most divided I’ve seen this country. Maybe because I’m black and in the south, I experienced so much fighting over race, politics, masks, vaccines. There was so much anger and performative activism along with so much hate and fear. The outside world was on fire. It still is but the only thing I’m nostalgic for is the safe haven my parent’s home became for my siblings and myself. I also suspect there are more in my family who are autistic and just don’t know it, but maybe I’m just projecting.)
It’s ok to feel like that, honestly. I knew at the time and have ever since, that the Covid lockdowns were good for me. It was horrible and upsetting what was going on in the rest of the world, and I lost a job (that wasn’t right for me) as a direct result of covid, but I really needed that break.
My nostalgia usually is 50% euphoric feeling and 50% gut wrenching sadness, which is a very weird mix. But I relate to you when you said trying to recreate that feeling of a particular day that you regard as one of the best days. I have a few days I can think back on like that!
Nicole I don’t think you understand… I have been struggling w this so intensely and felt like no one would get it. The pain and the fact I’d never get to relive certain things and recreating feelings AHHHHH ok just thank you for this this was so so so needed
I suffered nostalgia for my most mentally not here mental health depression to isolated insanity of creativity, ocd and conspiracy, time of my life. It's taken a while to accept that wasn't a time to look up to 😊 I think it's a nuance and chaos addiction whilst being blissfully unaware of other humans. Which the pandemic gave me back for a moment! ❤
the regret for not starting things during the pandemic is so real. I got into reading again in 2022 and I always think about all the books I could have read while I was quarantining in my college dorm :/
personally I can’t bring myself to be nostalgic for the pandemic because it literally made my life miserable. every time I think about it, I remember the chronic insomnia I developed which I’m still dealing with today. i would never ever go back to those days because of that
When you were explaining nostalgia feels like being stabbed I started crying bc IT JUST HURTS SO BAD and no one around me seems to feel the same way :(
Yeah, I feel nostalgia for a lot of my worst times in my life. It's nice to be justified in feeling sorry for yourself haha, and feeling like you need to be cared for. It's a bit like being a child again. Maybe that's why it's nostalgic? I don't feel nostalgia that horribly much though, it's more nice for me. I also believe time is not linear, that all experiences happen all the time always. So I feel like I never really lose anything, I always have it :)
I can understand this stuff, and see how it makes sense to people. But as someone who worked as a nurse in a NYC hospital through most of the pandemic, it's still just hard to wrap my mind around people being like "OMG the pandemic was the BEST!" My memories of the pandemic are more death than I ever thought I'd see professionally, families crying because they can't be with their loved ones in their final hours, and physical and emotional exhaustion. For months. Like, I can see all the explained reasons why people are "nostalgic" for it but... it's just very hard for me to understand.
im one of those who does not look back on the pandemic fondly. i had so much anxiety and i still deal with insomnia that stems from the anxiety i had during covid. this is such an interesting video to compare how people see the same events so differently
I don’t miss anything about that time at all. Before March 2020 I was in college living on campus. I loved my apartment, I loved my friends, my job, my classes, everything. I was so happy. And in an instant it was all ripped away. Everyone was scared and confused. I had to pack up everything and go home. Then I was stuck in the house for months, doing classes over stupid zoom. It was scary, awful and majorly depressing.
I’ll never get how people say they miss the pandemic or get nostalgic. It affected so many people so badly and the economy and I’ll only speak for myself but it derailed my life and my mental health
I relate to the nostalgia pain so much oh my god, I'm the most sentimental chronically nostalgic person I've known and it hurts!!!! So bad!!!!! You are the first person I've heard to voice this feeling, thank you and know that you aren't alone
Thank you SO MUCH for being open and talking about your OCD. Fellow OCD girlie and had my first panic attack bc of rumination and contamination fears during COVID. Peace and love to all my OCD folks out there 💜
As someone who was a freshman in highschool in 2020, I am STILL feeling the affects of the pandemic. I wasn't able to finish or pass certain classes, so I had to rush to make them up when the pandemic was "over". There were large gaps in my entire classes education, so bad to the point teachers had to adjust their curriculum for what we missed out first years of highschool. It was even worse for elementary kids. My step brother, who was in 1st grade during 2020, can hardly read or write (he's in 5th grade now). He's behind in almost all his subjects, and all the gaps in his education are found in the 1st grade curriculum. From the kids who started Kindergarten in 2020 onward, there are large gaps in their education (completely against theirs, the teachers, and the parents will). Our society pushed them to continue on, without ever teaching them what they missed. This will be a problem 12 years after 2020 (from 8 years after now). This is a SERIOUS problem in our school system, that a full 12 years of education is going to be behind after 2020.
I just wrote this down in my notes app yesterday explaining how it felt like a punch to the stomach every time I felt back in that time. so happy you made a video on it
I feel like the nostalgia for covid/2020 might be even more gut-wrenching for the ppl in late high school/college at the time. Because even if there wasn't a pandemic, we would all feel nostalgia for our younger "golden" years anyways.
I think for me I am nostalgic for when everyone was taking covid seriously. My partner and I are both immunocompromised and everyone else seems to be living normal lives and we still can’t go to restaurants or concerts etc. Also being able to relax without guilt of I should be working/ doing something productive
The start of the pandemic to me is the last really joyful moments with my ex best friend who abandoned me like a year later. Also graduating high school. Nostalgia is so painful istg
I was in show choir in high school and middle school so I had been preforming for a very long time. But I remember in 2021 there was a team that preformed a show that was themed around the pandemic. And me and my friend were just sitting there like "this is fucking disgusting." We were just sitting there growing more and more uncomfortable with the performance, no matter how well they preformed.
so sad i found you after i moved out of philly. i have quickly become a big fan!! i personally dont feel like i "miss" the pandemic, but i miss the sense of community i had. i spent a lot of hours online with friends playing minecraft or other games. i don't talk to a lot of those people anymore, and i don't necessarily miss them, but having people to do those kinds of things with. but i also had some terrible times there, and i felt like i wasn't a good person. i've grown a lot since then though!! i feel like this video explains m feelings for the pandemic a lot.
ive never understood how people say nostalgia is bittersweet, to me it's gut wrenching. like even right now i can't even enjoy things fully because i know that it will be over eventually.
LITERALLY
for me it’s like, in the beginning it was gut wrenching. But overtime as I tried to look forward more and cope w it, it’s gotten more bittersweet towards only certain memories tho 😭
There are actual studies showing that while nostalgia can be harmless, even beneficial to some people, other people (such as people with high anxiety personalities) can find nostalgia very damaging. Wish I could find the studies to link to it, pretty interesting
YES. And people will say “just enjoy the moment” like ITS NOT THAT SIMPLE AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I just want to enjoy a moment while it’s happening but I get caught up thinking about how it will be over in even a few hours.
Nostalgia for me feels super similar to deja vu but a confused panicking type 🤔
Between the stimulus checks, most everyone having actual free time, and nature temporarily healing, it was truly a glimpse into how amazing life could actually be….
These are the parts I liked, but especially animals coming out more and more to reclaim their space, so cool.
Millions of people died.
This too.
They aren't saying they didn't or that bad things didn't happen. They are pointing out that because society was forced to shut down, and capitalism was forced to halt a bit, that we got to see what would be possible with more guaranteed income, free time to spend with loved ones or alone, and that nature was reclaiming things and acting differently due to the lack of human activity (especially noise pollution). And that seeing what life could be like with more stability, human interaction/connection (even online), and more natural occurrences is a beautiful thing. Of course, this was not a great time for everything or everyone (especially those with abusive households or who lost their apartments.)
Two things can be true at once. And frankly, it's sad that we had to have a giant pandemic for society to shut down enough for us to see we don't have to keep doing this grind that is killing us and the planet forever. @@KhaiNguyen-vm1et
@@KhaiNguyen-vm1etand we could have more free time more rest more relaxation be less destructive to nature and no one would have to die.
It's just not gonna happen until the world is literally forced to do it.
Which the powers that be won't force corporations and societies to make it happen.
So I don't blame people for enjoying what will probably be their only chance to ever see it happen.
Back to working ourselves to death!
my brother got diagnosed with cancer literally ten days after i got home from college for the lockdown (he is now cancer free). it was awful at the time but i am so weirdly nostalgic for those times now. it’s like looking back at a “simpler time” where i felt like i had a valid excuse for feeling unwell
DUDE SAME
Wow. "A valid excuse for feeling unwell" is SUCH a good description that I've felt in for a long time, but never been able to put into words. THANK YOU
That last part is so true. My emotions felt easily justifiable back then because my dad passed from COVID-- of course I'm doing poorly, my dad is gone. It almost felt nice to have a neat answer for why I felt so horribly.
That's still a valid reason to be upset, IMHO. I hope you're feeling better, but don't guilt yourself over valid grief. ❤❤@@elizabethsullivan2965
“A valid excuse for feeling unwell” really does just capture the whole feeling, doesn’t it
i'm turning 18 this summer and the nostalgia i've been feeling since i turned 17 has been insane. I always wanted to be older ever since I was young and now I don't want to grow up and i've been feeling nostalgic for the pandemic. It was nice when I was 14 and didn't know what was coming for me in my high school years and my regrets since.
i’m turning 20 in about 2 weeks, but when i was 17 i used to get so stressed thinking about the “adult world”. i moved out and into a different city at 18, and feel a lot more relaxed about my place in the world. when you’re still in high school, it feels like everything is happening in a very linear progression. everything moves forward and you have to move with it.
you figure out once you leave and see more things and meet more people that you can pace yourself. stuff can be really hard but it’s much easier to deal with at the same time. slowly but surely you will learn how to live. you get a chance to breathe a little better in the real world - whether you’re a student or working or anything in between
i think it’s really important to hang on to older members of your community - whether that be relatives, family friends, or even slightly older friends. it’s very comforting seeing how your loved ones got through it. they were asking the same questions and feeling the same thoughts as you are now. it’s never too late to start, pause, pick up, revisit etc etc. also it’s very comforting seeing people a couple years older than you and realising they’re just as stupid lol
it’s fucking WILD that’s it has been 4 years. It was horrible but I do miss just being able to rot in bed.
Tbh same but since I was still stuck at home where we had no money and was considerably poor, I missed out on all the fun stuff like the acnh craze.
I miss 2019 and before sometimes I just think about what the world would be like if Covid never happened. truthfully, in general, (not looking at individual peoples lives) the world has just gotten worse since then😢
@@a.h.i267same
Horrible for ones trapped in a toxic house.
Yeah now everything is worse and we have to work twice or three times as hard just to survive.
I’ve heard people say this but I’ve never been more lonely and distressed in my life than when everything shut down. I feel like people miss having the pressure taken off for a little bit and sharing a rare collective experience with others.
True for me the feeling that people where in this together felt amazing. Seeing a rainbow drawn on a window or families making parody songs, starting homeschoole with my mom, seeing Animal crossing grow and amoung us explode in popularity, it all felt weirdly cozy. But it alsow felt really lonely i knew others where stressed about their families and jobs and I didn't have anyone to see or anything to do it is nice to be able to see others
The nostalgia is chronic, but Nicole is iconic
And this comment is ironic
But at least it’s not bubonic 😩
@@YOLO-yx2nz and it was delivered electronic(ally)
i hope we’re platonic
These comments are so harmonic
The comment about the praise kink from the phlebotomist reminded me of when I was getting tested for gestational diabetes, where you get multiple blood draws in a few hours, and I pointed to the “good vein” that most phlebotomists went to in the past. But he looked at me and said “oh yeah, I’m saving that for later.” Had me leaving like “sir?? What are we” at like 30 weeks pregnant
This story is hilarious to me
I was 13 when the pandemic hit, I really miss those spring mornings, not caring about online school, zoom calls and Kahoot, playing the ukulele (💀), watching animal crossing videos. It was a weird time to be growing up and I feel so guilty to admit it but I am glad it happened. I didn’t care about the rest of the world, just rotting in my room. It feels so painful to know that it’s over and I won’t experience it again even though in the long term it destroyed my mental health.
I played animal jam, animal crossing with my bestie at the time and I watched amphibia and the owl house but also was going through recovery at the time because I had back surgery though I liked it because I’m an introvert but now I really have no friends lmao💀
@@Irishmando15510 I hope your recovery went well. The friends I had at the time in 2020 kinda ditched me when my mental health was too much for them in 2022 💀, I spent over a year grieving that loss and feeling resentful. Im very introverted too and it seemed scary making friends, I guess my advice is to put yourself out there and push your limits, and as long as you look sad and lonely enough someone will take pity on you lol /j
@@salty_sour2469 my best friend I had at the time recently ditched me this year💀 she moved away and we kept contact but she became toxic and rude wouldn’t accept the fact I’m neurodivergent bullied me for my intrest I blocked her because she was too much to deal with
Also her friends cyberbullied me so I blocked them lmao💀 overall making friends is hard for a neurodivergent person but I have two friends who have the same intrest and Same thing as me so that’s nice.
This reminds me of how I get really nostalgic for certain aspects of my childhood, even though my upbringing was very traumatic. I look back at all the shows, games, get-togethers, sleepovers, etc, with fondness because they were the only thing bringing a teeny tiny bit of positivity into my very negative life. It makes me question my own memories, like "was my childhood really that bad?" GIRL, YES IT WAS. 😭 Your brain is just trying to cope and hide things. It's hard to explain, I dunno.
this! thank you.
It's hard for me to feel nostalgia for a time in my life where I was worried EVERY DAY that my severely immunocompromised mother would catch covid and die. It was quite literally the most stressful point in my life, and the only part about that time that I miss is the fact that my mom was still alive. So, I feel kind of weird about hearing people say they miss that time.... 🙃
as someone who had to go through online school...i do not miss the pandemic. i went months without brushing my teeth in the morning and never getting out of my pajamas. its so nice to just go to school and be able to be outside around people and actually having school things again.
BRUUUUUUTAL, this made me realize even more how brutal my situation is, I'm still online schooling for several reasons out of my control, I am and have been living the same exact life since the pandemic, I can't even remember the last time I've spoken to someone my age
I was homeschooled before covid and i feel the same sometimes. That feeling of "school sucks" but "i miss having a routine and more social interactions"
i was in a deep psychosis during the entire pandemic & it made me lose every single person in my life at the time & it ended when i tried to commit suicide. i was also being abused during the time & overall it was genuinely horrible . but i look back at it as wow i was so confident & i spent so much time with my friends & bf at the time & i enjoyed becoming a diff version of myself . i look back at it constantly with nostalgia but i was SO MISERABLE . i hate covid it took everything from me . i am so much happier now but i despise covid so much
I have so many good memories from the pandemic, but as someone from Victoria Australia that had one of the strictest lockdowns in the world, those memories are well overshadowed by the endless fatigue and depression.
thats so real. also from victoria and i come from a rural town so i could probably count on one hand how many times i interacted with people face-to-face outside of my family that whole year
Yes!! The only people I ever saw in person for 4 months straight was my family and even as an introvert, I was severely craving human interaction. I can't imagine what it was like for those who were living alone
I can't remember a single good time from those years, I was young but it was still the worst time in my life ever, as a teen now, I still feel the lingering feeling of it, idk if like is gonna be the same again
The 5km radius of where we could go outside was so bad, half of mine spanned into the ocean
we all remember where we were that day 😢
i was in a music shop, right after my guitar lesson. was told i got 2 weeks off of school and i jumped in glee. that glee would soon fade
I was in econ when they told us we had two weeks off. We thought our teachers were going on strike
I was texting my college classmates about how class was cancelled on Monday and Tuesday...never saw any of those people again
I was at the public library with my fifth-grade class researching Marie Curie for a wax museum project. I remember saying goodbye to my teacher and her saying "See you on Monday!"
I was about to take a math test (which was very f#cking hard!!) when they all made us go home, the happiest I had been in a LONG time LOL
As a household of two essential workers, one of which is a healthcare worker, I don’t miss it at all and I am bitter towards people who do
The covid era was literally the worst time in my life and i will never look back fondly to it
Same, I get mad honestly hearing people talk about to with nostalgia. Nice to have found someone else feeling that way
@@whatcanidooo March 2020 was the first time I came out of my depression and felt like a human not because of quarantine so because of that it's something I am nostalgic for still feels so wrong to say it cause so many people suffered around the world
Yes the mental toll was terrible. Especially with everything shut down.
I want the timeline where I'm not still recovering from what 2020 did to me to this day
@@anny8720 Amen! I'm so nostalgic for my cousins who didn't have college interrupted by the pandemic!
Omg it just clicked, I remember telling a friend a week ago that March is always when my mental health takes the hardest hit and I think this is why - the pandemic made me feel so isolated and alone and I think my body is just reliving it every year. Thank you for the video, I feel like people aren't talking about it enough
You don't feel nostalgic for times or things that ended up truly harming you. We feel nostalgic for surviving successfully. My stepdad got diagnosed with cancer also in May 2020. He passed away a year later. I am nostalgic for May 2020 because I still had him in my life. I am not nostalgic for May 2021. Because it did not end well. You can be nostalgic for a difficult time that you got through successfully. You will never be nostalgic for a time that you came out of with a true loss or net negative. That's a signal from your brain reminding you to be grateful for what you still have, or have gained, currently. Go make even better memories with your mom ❤
Genuinely, thank you so much for this comment. I’m a survivor who suffers from severe C-PTSD and this past week has been exceptionally rough. This outlook shifted something within me and eased so much pain, I’m going to remember it for a very long time. Sending so much love to both you and your family🫂
Its so validating to hear someone talk about nostalgia being super painful. I also have such a hard time just missing and yearning for older times even when they sucked so bad!
The whole silver lining thing also i think is gonna help me, so thank u nicole
I took care of a little boy during the Pandemic and honestly I am one of those people who are nostalgic as it was so wonderful to watch him grow up and teach him how to count and talk. ❤
This exactly, I moved in with my cousin to help look after her kids because her and her husband had to work ridiculous hours! I got to watch her oldest get ready for the 11+ and pass with flying colours, I got to do forest school with the youngest and spend hours at the park teaching the middle one to skateboard it was blissful and we went on so many adventures together in the local woods making dens and looking for insects
i think any sort of 'nostalgia' i feel for earlier in the p4ndemic comes from people caring. now that c0vid is the worst it has ever been and very few people are still masking/up to date on v4ccines is very disheartening and i yearn for the earlier days in that respect.
THANK YOU. I’m so tired of being the only person I know who still cares. I’m still living the exact same lifestyle I was in early quarantine but I have to watch people who don’t GAF living a normal life.
THIS THIS THIS. it feels so insanely tone deaf and disrespectful for people to say they “miss” covid and they “miss” the pandemic. how do you miss something that never left?? people are fucking suffering. but 100% agree, what I miss is when people cared. At least I could pretend humans cared about each other. now it’s too obvious everyone is jumping for any opportunity to kill those in their community. I miss feeling like we were genuinely all in this together, but instead everyone was so excited to leave us all behind
@@MangoMintMickeyyes, this💔
Yes. We miss people caring.
what do you mean by covid is the worst it has ever been? i'm genuinly curious. my country lifted all lockdown restrictions long ago and i was under the impression vaccination had made it a lesser issue at this point - as in vulnerable people might still catch it, but the same way they'd catch any other disease. i just googled it and the WHO declared it's not an public health emergency anymore in 2023. i don't mean any offense, but your statement really surprised me.
Thank you for talking about this! My entire family is immunocompromised and the pandemic took a big toll on my mental health in a way that I haven’t heard from anyone else. Contamination OCD was debilitating and I’m so happy that I’m healing from it finally
I’m swedish so I never experienced the pandemic.
I just had to watch as everyone in other countries slowly got worse mental health, while I only had to stay 6 meters away from people when I was standing in the line for lunch at school.
It felt so weird.
Wow you were so lucky, i wonder what that was like, it was so different in America 😭
@@celunax it just felt like normal life, pretty much nothing was different
Omg seems like Sweden was the only reasonable country who didn't go through the living hell of restrictions like most of the other countries, especially Australia where you couldn't even walk outside your house 😡 You were truly blessed here in Sweden, seems like most people don't even realize that
@@rockstar78970 the covid rates were really high there eventually though
Uhhhh Sweden was literally purposefully withholding treatment for elderly people during the early portion of the pandemic because they classed them as disposable. The pandemic most definitely did and continues to happen in Sweden. The pandemic isn't over.
The day lockdown started in my community was my birthday on st Patrick’s day and I went to school all dressed up only to find out over half the kids were in quarantine. I felt like I was in a dystopian zombie apocalypse and I was just trying to live in complete denial of everything that was happening and telling myself that nothing was real. My birthday has felt so weird and has given me anxiety every year since
i get this ! i have a march bday too, i had to have it on zoom and i baked my own cake and ordered an outfit off of amazon and the entire time my friendgroup just teased me and made fun of me, so now i dont really like celebrating my bday. i prefer to just do a regular get together, maybe gifts with my individual friendgroups. but this year is my sweet 16 and my mom wants to throw me a big party as she wasnt allowed to for hers, so im listening to her because she deserves that experience yk? but im so anxious about it i literally cannot sleep as i think about everything that could possibly go wrong idk maybe its normal to feel anxious abt that kind of thing but it was just so horrible
I always talking to my wife about my quarantine nostalgia, every time those music played on tiktok during lockdown is very very strong nostalgic to me, as in I never felt this feeling before in my 36 years of life
the "Imagine" jumpscare
Underrated comment 😂
Had to skip past it
tysm so much for making this, not only do i also feel nostolgia for 2020 but i also have ocd and constantly ruminating on the past is such a struggle for me, it makes it so hard to move on from literally anything, good or bad, this made me feel like maybe its not just me, ty ^^
I have never heard someone put my thoughts into words like this. Nostalgia HURTS sometimes. Honestly, some things I get 'nostalgic' about weren't even amazing. But, when I look back and romanticize them and suddenly they become the best day ever.
We live in a capitalist hell scape and quarantining was like a little break
i graduated on my couch in 2020. i lost my great grandpa to covid and almost lost my great grandma. covid put all my plans for college and moving on up on hold. my anxiety and depression raised and im still trying to manage it. seeing 'i miss the pandemic/im so nostalgic for the pandemic' makes me sick to my stomach. it wasn't a fun time, and if it was you're delusional.
as someone with horrific anxiety, i just miss not having to leave my house.
The pandemic made all of my mental illnesses worse (and I began to experience depression and ocd only after it) so I don’t miss it whatsoever, but I feel the same about 2014-17 summers as a kid. They were pretty careless times, I even try to dress how the teens I watched on RUclips dressed then but it definitely is still a painful dread that the happiest moments were in the past…
But this video is helping remind me that it’s all in my head and the happiest moments may be yet to come (and my childhood sucked in many ways that have improved since too)
this video is actually very helpful. I’ve been struggling with feeling
nastolgic about the months in 2021 i’ve spent homeless as a result of a bad relationship. I’ve been shown a lot of kindness and felt torn over how i felt about the world around me and my own happiness back then. i knew deep inside that it was a rose-tinted glasses situation but needed to hear someone else say it to feel like it’s legit.
I still remember grabbing a work packet from school that they said was in case we needed to work from home. That was the last day I would ever face a normal school day.
STOP IVE BEEN YELLING ABOUT THE ROMANTICISATION OF QUARANTINE AND I FELT LIKE THE ONLY ONE
some things i miss from the pandemic: no cars on the freeways/little traffic, being on large discord calls with my friends playing video games, getting unemployment and relief funds because i lost my job.
that's about it. everything else was pretty lame or terrible. i can probably name like 20 bad things for every good thing, but when i'm in traffic i think about lockdown, or when i get on a video game with a small group i miss our rowdy discord calls, and when i look at my credit card statements i think about how dumb i was with that money i got lol
2019 was one of the hardest years of my life, so 2020 felt like I could finally breathe. Mainly it was the isolation that was nice but still such a tragic event for so many
Whenever I'm happy, which unfortunately isn't very often anymore (not asking for pity), it's always overrun with the thought that that moment will end and that once it's over I'll never be in that moment feeling the feelings that I am ever again. That I won't be the same person anymore. That I'll never be that happy again. It's honestly terrifying and creates knots in my stomach.
I would argue that even tho we’re nostalgic about the positive things we remember from back then, it’s actually NEGATIVITY bias. It’s because we’re ruminating on the things we’re unhappy about right now e.g constant workload, no time for hobbies and wishing we could be in a time where we don’t have those things. It’s our brains being negative about our current situation and making it seem worse by casting a brighter light on our past. It’s the same as comparing yourself to other ppl online bcus you hate your life except it’s your own self so even more convincing. Back then we were nostalgic about pre-covid and probably in a few years we’ll be nostalgic about now even tho we’re having a horrible time in an economic recession. We always crave what we can’t have at a particular moment because we’re deeply unhappy with our lives! I don’t think it’s ’nostalgia depression’ specifically, it’s just depression and we’re stuck in a loop 😢
I was a full time service worker during the pandemic so I can hardly relate to anyone’s pandemic nostalgia. I didn’t get to sit at home and relax. I didn’t get to talk to friends and family. I was interacting with the crazed public during a worldwide pandemic. Dealing with people screaming at the top of their lungs about how either masks were good or bad every day. It was insanity.
In October, I realized that what I have been struggling with for years is OCD. It has been an extremely hard few months because of it, and I have felt so alone. No one has made me feel more seen than you did in just this one video. So, thank you for making me feel like I'm not alone in this
i have been feeling nostalgic lately over mid 2020 - 2022 which was a really awful time for me. I've been feeling really guilty over it but you’ve helped me look at it with less guilt, thank you for that 💛
My experience was really different. I was in boot camp. After our first two normal weeks Friday the 13th they told us the country shut down and we wouldn’t be leaving soon.
Training shifted, privileges were taken, masks enforced, the airport ghost town, everyone 6 feet apart
It's crazy how we can feel nostalgic for the worst times of our lives. The past always feels like it was better than whatever we are experiencing currently. We remember the positives, but not the negatives. Side note, the look is absolutely slaying in this video 💅
I think the saddest part is that we’ll never be the world we were before 2020 and I only started experiencing it as a young 18-19 year old adult
Inflation at its worst, everything’s getting pricey, people seem more toxic than ever
the fact that you made a video celebrating quitting your job over 4 years ago also means that i started watching your videos 4 years ago and that’s something i’m happy to be nostalgic about😇😇😇😇
girl you get it. nostalgia is SUCH a complex feeling for me too. i have so much nostalgia for terrible times in my life because my brain like tricks me inti thinking that it was way better than it actually was. it also makes me think that things maybe weren’t as bad as i thought/i am exaggerating (i also have ocd 😭😭)
It’s both a traumatic and nostalgic time for me. 2020 was one of the best years of my life for the sole reason that it was before so much trauma occurred in my life. It’s funny you mention Temple U, as it’s kind of triggered me a little extra on a video I came to reminisce on the time of my life before my ex, who also attended Temple U. He was ab*sive, a r*pist, and just awful in every way, and he took away my naivety from the freshly 18y/o girl i was in March 2020. Despite my life being so much better now, I will forever miss the girl i was before meeting him on tinder in April 2020, and eventually dating him the next year. And for that reason, I think i’ll always be extra nostalgic towards the start of the pandemic. He destroyed a version of me that i miss so dearly, and despite all the work I’ve put into building a new, better life, I will continue to miss that girl who had not yet been exposed to some of the world’s worst evils.
I get nostalgia for the pandemic because I didn’t have work and I got to do things on my terms but then I get the gut wrenching feeling because I was the most depressed I had ever been because I had no schedule so I don’t miss it at all I just miss the freedom
I hate nostalgia, it makes me go into an existential crisis, crying, depression, hurt, guilt. I feel it for covid as that was my young adult days, but also my childhood as I don’t remember a lot of it. I always cried myself asleep about missing or not embracing crucial moments of my life more than I should have. So looking back is a horrible feeling, I know most of the time I did nothing wrong but I’ll always feel guilty and want to go back. I completely understand how you feel and always wondered why people loved their nostalgic memories
Why did I used to cry the night after a great day thinking I should’ve enjoyed it more, or now I feel like the things I do remember like covid are only good things and I wish I was taken back.
I know I should be enjoying what I have now, I’ve built a great life, but I feel guilty for always reminiscing on good and bad things in the past
I am a very sentimental person, and I definitely do understand the "omg I miss some parts of the pandemic," (i.e the giant discord friend group calls while playing games because that was the *only* way you could talk to other people, and there wasn't a class to go to so I would play games for the entire night).
I don't miss the pademic and the illness it brought, several of my family members contracted it, and my grandmother passed from it. However, now as a student in similar isolation as I was then (i.e I talk to almost no one I did then) I really do understand missing that feeling of community it brought, and the feeling of being able to fully express myself and what I was going through.
On the other hand I was like severely mentally ill so
I haven’t felt nostalgic for the pandemic since some time last year. Feeling all the hard feelings for the first time since lockdown in little bursts every now and then.
I just started a new job in childcare. I work in a 2-3 year old room and one day I happened to notice that most of the children in my care that day were born in 2021-2022. After the entire world changed. I fixated on this for the rest of the day in the back of my mind, and broke down when I get to my car at the end of the day.
I’m trying to keep my weekends free, or if I’m on an early shift, give myself an afternoon where I do nothing. Just put RUclips on and play stardew valley until I decide I’m hungry. It feels cleansing, and I feel guilt about it.
Trying to be kinder to myself. Thank you for putting it out there that you’re also experiencing this shit ☺️🥹
my granny was in the middle of her leukemia fight during the pandemic, and i was in the same boat of making sure she was okay! glad to hear your mom is cancer free 🎉
Gosh I relate so bad to this- honestly, my quarantine was not terrible. I wrote a lot, got closer to my family and just enjoyed life. I grew so much as a person but also regressed. I can't remember things as clearly as I did. My attention span is HORRIFIC now and I've always been quite motivated when it came to work. So while I enjoyed life for what seemed like the first time, turns out I became much more anxious (I didn't want to return to high school) and I can hardly get out of bed. Even worse, my aunt died to covid in 2021. So imagine how guilty I feel when I crave being in that time once again.
can relate so hard with your story. my mom also had cancer a few months into lockdown. i was also so scared of infecting her that i was not seeing any friends in person for months. it was horrible and i think its partly the reason i fell prey to a narcissistically abusive relationship that i just recently got out of. i was so isolated and lonely. i dont miss it at all.
It’s a privilege to say you miss quarantine imo. A lot of people died or lost their loved ones during that time, and people had to stay inside a very toxic damaging household for a long time. I miss it too sometimes but I acknowledge how selfish it is for me to say that
i suffer from nostalgia for my early teens 12-15, i was so mentally ill but for some reason id give literally anything to relive that time in my life and i have absolutely no idea why.
I suffer from nostalgia too :( I’m nostalgic for eras I’ve never lived in and remember feeling this way since I was a kid. Got it bad for the lockdown too.
This video was literally for me. Im 17 and recently ive been depressed because i feel like chapters of my life are so short and everything is ending. I keep thinking about how I'll never get to live that part of my life again. I thought I missed being a kid but i honestly just miss being happy and content.
Your message of doing something you would have done in the beginning of the pandemic really hit me because for, what I assumed was no reason, this past weekend I spent some time trying on prom dresses and taking pictures in the dressing room because I didn’t have the opportunity to go to my senior prom in 2020. That struck me as you said that.
The pandamic was a horrible time for me. Not only did it destroy my mental healt but i missed all off the "important" things your supposed to do at age 16-18. Not to mention all the stuff i missed out on, graduation, finishing my last school year, becoming a legal adult, all the events i had planned. Im still trying to do all the things i missed out on
When you started talking about time passing by and us having no control over it…I felt it. The nostalgia for the pandemic bc at that time in March 2020 it felt like time STOOD STILL. Days lasted forever and I for once felt on the same page with everyone, no fomo no nothing. Omg now I’m gonna miss it
I think that as humans, we got to see how the world was when we actually had time to do more for ourselves than the bare minimum. We got to spend time with ourselves, but also we got to see how everyone was affected. It was so drastic and sudden but it felt like the whole world was connected (as it was, but in a really unfortunate way). Nature healed for a bit too. I have bad nostalgia for 2020 cause it was the first time I had so much time to myself and to think, and also the first time where I didn’t have to see people getting ahead and feeling like I’m doing nothing, even though they might be living a more privileged life than I was.
I really hate when ppl say, "I miss COVID." Babes, it's still around. Tf?
THIS
When people say "I miss COVID" most are talking about being taken care of financially and not having to stress about money or work for a while.
THIS. Like we are actively still in a pandemic. COVID is still here.
On the one hand, I have OCD with a fear of pandemics (goes back to Ebola in the 90s) that was really giving me intense anxiety at the start of Covid, not to mention the horror of so many people literally dying. On the otherhand, I got to spend time with my family and just garden every day for two months. I definitely miss that part.
I have a sister who is 4 years younger than me and in late 2019 our half sister was born and she was 17 and 21 years younger than us. I stayed with them during quarantine knowing that it would probably be the only time the three of us lived together, I was able to see some of her milestones since usually I live 4 hours away and would have missed a lot of that if not for quarantine, and it really helped me to repair my relationship with my dad and stepmom. The pandemic was awful, but I will always treasure that time I spent with them in quarantine.
honestly, even as a chronically ill person, who became disabled due to covid right in the beginning of it all, i miss that time SO MUCH, and i always feel so weird and guilty about this nostalgia, but it's ok, it's normal, bc my brain tries to erase trauma from all this. it took a long time in therapy to start feeling compassion for myself for these feelings
omg!! I just got diagnosed with OCD 2 weeks ago and the way you experience nostalgia describes me to the literal T. There are so many things I thought were “quirks” of mine but I’m realizing they’re actually OCD symptoms
People miss the pandemic because WE WORKED LESS
I just turned 20 and this video came out at the exact right time bc the amount of nostalgia i feel for 2020 and 2021 is crazy. It's not just nostalgia, im mourning the fact that i will never be able to relive that part of my life
This was a good video to watch right now. This was my first reminder that it was around this time the pandemic started. And the past few years I couldn’t forget that fact. It was a good reminder that I am healing and moving past everything that happened in 2020. I really felt seen when you were describing how you would obsess over “the last good memories”, the sadness and pain nostalgia can bring me, and the acknowledgment that it doesn’t feel quite as bad anymore. Thanks for sharing your niche thoughts, it’s nice not feeling as alone in my feeling :)
omg march 13th 2020 was one of the worst days of my life. it was my 17th birthday, quarantine started, my then bf broke up with me at my bday dinner over text (said some nasty $hit) and I had to keep a smile on my face at dinner without breaking down. and now I understand why whenever my bday is coming up I get so depressed and sad and looking back on that day is so painful and mentally debilitating and this video helped me understand WHY. thank you nikki nasty
I feel like a horrible person because the beginning of the pandemic was the best thing ever. I realize how privileged I am to admit that, but it’s true. I know many lost their lives (in a literal or theoretical sense) but for me, I feel like it would not be a hyperbole to say it saved mine.
The week before my university shut down, I had finally worked up the courage to go see a counselor because I knew I would not be able to continue if I did not receive help. While she seemed unconvinced I really needed to see her more (because I should just think more positively), we set up another appointment after spring break. That did not happen. What did happen was the world shut down and I went home to a safe place where I got to finish off my senior year remotely (I absolutely loved it and felt like I learned more efficiently than when I was surrounded by people). I was also able to feel more mentally stable.
At the time, I knew it was the compounding demands of my social life that were making me feel like I was about to have a break down but it has only been recently that I’ve realized I am most likely autistic and was heavily masking to the destruction of my soul. Now, I am trying to learn to set boundaries. Having nostalgia for the peace that season of covid gave me is not as healthy as just learning to live in the world not without constantly feeling like I’m going to have a mental breakdown, though I completely understand the way you have described nostalgia as being painful. I feel like I’ve been nostalgic since birth and I also deal with a lot of “pre-nostalgia”.
(Just wanted to also say that I feel like America was in no way United during covid. That was some of the most divided I’ve seen this country. Maybe because I’m black and in the south, I experienced so much fighting over race, politics, masks, vaccines. There was so much anger and performative activism along with so much hate and fear. The outside world was on fire. It still is but the only thing I’m nostalgic for is the safe haven my parent’s home became for my siblings and myself. I also suspect there are more in my family who are autistic and just don’t know it, but maybe I’m just projecting.)
It’s ok to feel like that, honestly. I knew at the time and have ever since, that the Covid lockdowns were good for me. It was horrible and upsetting what was going on in the rest of the world, and I lost a job (that wasn’t right for me) as a direct result of covid, but I really needed that break.
the nostalgia is real, i keep looking back at highschool even tho my depression was at its peak back then
My nostalgia usually is 50% euphoric feeling and 50% gut wrenching sadness, which is a very weird mix. But I relate to you when you said trying to recreate that feeling of a particular day that you regard as one of the best days. I have a few days I can think back on like that!
Nicole I don’t think you understand… I have been struggling w this so intensely and felt like no one would get it. The pain and the fact I’d never get to relive certain things and recreating feelings AHHHHH ok just thank you for this this was so so so needed
I suffered nostalgia for my most mentally not here mental health depression to isolated insanity of creativity, ocd and conspiracy, time of my life. It's taken a while to accept that wasn't a time to look up to 😊 I think it's a nuance and chaos addiction whilst being blissfully unaware of other humans. Which the pandemic gave me back for a moment! ❤
the regret for not starting things during the pandemic is so real. I got into reading again in 2022 and I always think about all the books I could have read while I was quarantining in my college dorm :/
personally I can’t bring myself to be nostalgic for the pandemic because it literally made my life miserable. every time I think about it, I remember the chronic insomnia I developed which I’m still dealing with today. i would never ever go back to those days because of that
When you were explaining nostalgia feels like being stabbed I started crying bc IT JUST HURTS SO BAD and no one around me seems to feel the same way :(
Yeah, I feel nostalgia for a lot of my worst times in my life. It's nice to be justified in feeling sorry for yourself haha, and feeling like you need to be cared for. It's a bit like being a child again. Maybe that's why it's nostalgic? I don't feel nostalgia that horribly much though, it's more nice for me.
I also believe time is not linear, that all experiences happen all the time always. So I feel like I never really lose anything, I always have it :)
I can understand this stuff, and see how it makes sense to people. But as someone who worked as a nurse in a NYC hospital through most of the pandemic, it's still just hard to wrap my mind around people being like "OMG the pandemic was the BEST!"
My memories of the pandemic are more death than I ever thought I'd see professionally, families crying because they can't be with their loved ones in their final hours, and physical and emotional exhaustion. For months.
Like, I can see all the explained reasons why people are "nostalgic" for it but... it's just very hard for me to understand.
it’s a VERY privileged take to “miss” the pandemic. You aren’t crazy for thinking this is weird.
im one of those who does not look back on the pandemic fondly. i had so much anxiety and i still deal with insomnia that stems from the anxiety i had during covid. this is such an interesting video to compare how people see the same events so differently
I don’t miss anything about that time at all. Before March 2020 I was in college living on campus. I loved my apartment, I loved my friends, my job, my classes, everything. I was so happy. And in an instant it was all ripped away. Everyone was scared and confused. I had to pack up everything and go home. Then I was stuck in the house for months, doing classes over stupid zoom. It was scary, awful and majorly depressing.
I’ll never get how people say they miss the pandemic or get nostalgic. It affected so many people so badly and the economy and I’ll only speak for myself but it derailed my life and my mental health
I relate to the nostalgia pain so much oh my god, I'm the most sentimental chronically nostalgic person I've known and it hurts!!!! So bad!!!!! You are the first person I've heard to voice this feeling, thank you and know that you aren't alone
Thank you SO MUCH for being open and talking about your OCD. Fellow OCD girlie and had my first panic attack bc of rumination and contamination fears during COVID. Peace and love to all my OCD folks out there 💜
this is especially a wild video because i started watching your videos during the start of the pandemic, and i still watch them to this day !
As someone who was a freshman in highschool in 2020, I am STILL feeling the affects of the pandemic. I wasn't able to finish or pass certain classes, so I had to rush to make them up when the pandemic was "over". There were large gaps in my entire classes education, so bad to the point teachers had to adjust their curriculum for what we missed out first years of highschool.
It was even worse for elementary kids. My step brother, who was in 1st grade during 2020, can hardly read or write (he's in 5th grade now). He's behind in almost all his subjects, and all the gaps in his education are found in the 1st grade curriculum.
From the kids who started Kindergarten in 2020 onward, there are large gaps in their education (completely against theirs, the teachers, and the parents will). Our society pushed them to continue on, without ever teaching them what they missed. This will be a problem 12 years after 2020 (from 8 years after now). This is a SERIOUS problem in our school system, that a full 12 years of education is going to be behind after 2020.
I just wrote this down in my notes app yesterday explaining how it felt like a punch to the stomach every time I felt back in that time. so happy you made a video on it
I feel like the nostalgia for covid/2020 might be even more gut-wrenching for the ppl in late high school/college at the time. Because even if there wasn't a pandemic, we would all feel nostalgia for our younger "golden" years anyways.
I think for me I am nostalgic for when everyone was taking covid seriously. My partner and I are both immunocompromised and everyone else seems to be living normal lives and we still can’t go to restaurants or concerts etc.
Also being able to relax without guilt of I should be working/ doing something productive
no bc i literally catch myself sometimes stalking charlie’s tiktoks from 2019/2020 just to feel those nostalgic memories 💀
Change is really one thing I can’t handle lol, now i’m crying so bad on how change is hella fast and wishing i’m back in the pandemic IDK WHY HUHU.
The start of the pandemic to me is the last really joyful moments with my ex best friend who abandoned me like a year later. Also graduating high school. Nostalgia is so painful istg
Just when people bring up nostalgia to me it makes me wanna cry i swear.
It’s nostalgic because it’s that same time of year
Nostalgia makes me so sad like i just wanna be there again and like thinking about it feels like a knife twistingggg in me stomach
I was in show choir in high school and middle school so I had been preforming for a very long time. But I remember in 2021 there was a team that preformed a show that was themed around the pandemic. And me and my friend were just sitting there like "this is fucking disgusting." We were just sitting there growing more and more uncomfortable with the performance, no matter how well they preformed.
so sad i found you after i moved out of philly. i have quickly become a big fan!!
i personally dont feel like i "miss" the pandemic, but i miss the sense of community i had. i spent a lot of hours online with friends playing minecraft or other games. i don't talk to a lot of those people anymore, and i don't necessarily miss them, but having people to do those kinds of things with. but i also had some terrible times there, and i felt like i wasn't a good person. i've grown a lot since then though!! i feel like this video explains m feelings for the pandemic a lot.