Things I have given up: Makeup, fancy (uncomfortable) clothes and shoes, christmas cards, giving the '110%' at work, paying bills manually (autopay is amazing), some amount of house cleaning, micromanaging my kids, long hair. I added in exercise with my husband, which helped because I think it improved my sleep. Fixing sleep helps everything.
This is the first visit to your channel. I was dxed with aspbergers/autism 2.5 years ago. I was 64. I was already burned out, but didn't know it was autism since I didn't know I was autistic. I've been in severe burnout for several decades. See, I worked full time in a library (dealing with lots of people). And, when I was 36, my dad had a massive stroke and needed 24/7 care. I still lived at home, and mom and I cared for him. I had also lost 155 lbs, and was determined to keep on with excessive exercise. The stroke happened in 1994. Within a few years, mom and I were both burned out (I'm certain she had autism). As you said about giving up something, I had to give up exercise. I gave up exercise (got fat again) because my choices were give up work, exercise, or the life/death issues with dad. So away went exercise. Dad died 13 years later, in 2007. Right away, besides burnout, mom became I'll and I spent the next 11 years caring for her. (I had 5 siblings who mostly said no when I asked for help. They all live in town). I retired at age 50 with a very small pension, because something else had to go. I usually didn't know how to keep going. Mom died in 2018, and I've been trying to recover ever since. As you suggested, at that time I had to put things down. I can usually do 1 thing per day. Laundry on one day, for example. I watch a great niece for an afternoon/week. Groceries. I keep the house pretty picked up, but don't often dust/vacuum. My brain tells me I'm lazy. I know others think I'm lazy. Others think I have nothing to show for my life (I really wanted to find a spouse and have kids. But I had parents). No one thinks I could be burned out like this. Quarantine was good for me because I was isolated. Laid on the couch and read from my kindle. (I dare anyone to do caregiving 24/7 for 24 years, with 14 years connected to working full time.) So, people don't believe I'm burned out. I am very slowly beginning to recover, yet I know that 30 years after dad's stroke, at age 66, I'll never be strong and energetic again. I know this is long. But it took a lot to get me this burned out. And I knew this burnout was different than, say, burnout from studying. When I can't care for myself, I doubt I have anyone to help.
@@InterrobangInterrobang thank you. I wish I'd been able to set boundaries. However, even now I don't know what I could have done differently. Doing less would have meant they had to go to a nursing home. And they would have died years earlier.
@@maryhazlett That's the paradox. Each moment you give, Is another tiny universe. Like light from a gentle star, You give people life. But then, Instead of receiving a gift, You are the gift. I hope you try to be your gift to you, And give yourself life. And i hope you find the smaller you, In every tiny universe looking back at you, So you can know how you made them feel, too. Sorry if the poetics are too dense, i just want you to remember that, ...You matter.
I am very sorry to hear that happened to you, and I am very sorry to read about the loss of your parents. You didn't deserve that, and you were taken advantage of by your siblings. It happens, but it comes at a steep cost. Nonetheless, know this: you are incredibly resilient and did something that few could ever match, and one day, you will recover enough to summon all of the vitality you have left to live a vibrant and glorious life completely on your own terms, but you need to prioritize your health and well-being in all of their facets in order to be able to experience that. May you recover fully soon!!! Also, cut out anyone who calls you lazy. They are literal dead weight and hinder your recovery. The sooner you cut them out, the more easily you will gain metaphorical strength and energy back. Internally, show yourself grace, and remind yourself that the rest is essential to recover your life force. You can still get married, and even if biological kids are a long stretch now even with fertility treatments, you can adopt if you so choose. Your life does not always have to be about self sacrifice and burnout, but be aware of your current limits and rest more to restore higher and higher set points.
I was in autistic burnout for 5 years but never had a word for it. My depression assessment was often not reflective of what I was experiencing which made me feel all the more like a lazy person. I couldn't shower for months, I could only eat food if it was frozen or takeout, etc. Now, I've been able to slowly ease routines back into my life, I shower every other day, I keep up with tasks, etc. But I absolutely had to go through a LOT for this. Thank you. Good luck, beautiful people.
I’m an undiagnosed autism but I hate brushing my teeth, showering, social contact, and a lot more and I don’t know how to tell my parents I think I’m autisc even my school counselor thinks I have autism and I’m 11 years old male I hope someone can help. Thank you Morgan for helping relise I’m autistic tru watching ur videos and this video help me understand what I’m going thru right now ❤ keep up great work and I have already hit autistic burnout
definitely try to communicate that to your parents and get assessed! of course it's not always a safe environment at home but the sooner you make those changes to accommodate yourself, the better :)
Even if you don't feel ready to tell them, that you think you are autistic, try to communicate your needs to them. For example, if you are struggling with sensory issues, maybe tell them that it exhausts you how loud everything is and that you would like to wear earphones or earplugs. Maybe explaining your needs is easier than telling them you think you are autistic.
i found out i was autistic just this past june at 18. turning 19 next month.. school really took a toll on me. you never really realize how long you spend ur life in school until its all over. the pandemic definitely triggered the slow downfall and worsening of my burnout, the layers slowly coming off eventually leading to my diagnosis. now i have to rethink everything, its so frustrating. i want to be like everyone else; suceeding in college, getting a job, moving out and away from home.. but i cant, at least not anytime soon. its so hard to not compare myself to others my age. i just feel so incredibly stuck. it feels like all im doing is wasting my time. i have such a hard time connecting with people and making new friends, especially right now where its hard to access people (not having a job or being in school).. i would kill for a therapist specializing in neurodivergence, i just dont fully know where to look, or if i can even afford it. im just so tired, i really am. certain things are getting worse like my sensory sensitivities and processing words and conversations. my sense of identity has been going down the drain the past couple years as well. im trans and queer and i just dont fully understand who i am and what i want out of my life. sorry this is so long. theres just so much going on yet nothing at all, does that make sense? i dont know what to do.. im trying to rest but what even is resting??? its really crazy how i seriously just have to rethink my entire self and way of living to accommodate to a disability i didnt even know i had. we deserve so much better.
I went to get an autism diagnosis two years ago and they were confused and uncertain (because of my ADHD and because I was gifted and talked so fast) and asked me if I had a current issue that needed addressing or if I was just curious and I said just curious and they sent me home without a diagnosis. Looking back, I was pushing down the issues I did have and trying to get that diagnosis took all the energy I had to advocate for myself out of me and it failed and I pushed myself further. I've been living on the absolute minimum (living with my parents, unemployed, genuinely in bed for over twenty hours on a normal day and just getting up for meals) for years now after I quit a job that was hell for me after a very stressful phase of unemployment after I graduated from a degree where I just had to hand in my thesis without actually finishing it because I had no energy left in me after I had already switched to a new place because I couldn't stand my previous environment and degree anymore. I graduated both times (thanks to the giftedness I guess), but I never got out of it what I wanted. I am just now slowly having days where I have the clarity to realise that all the other days were foggy. I sometimes have days where I can get things done that help my progress, like tackle my lifelong hoarding issue I'm surrounded by every day, try to do something creative I enjoy, apply to jobs I'm not ready for to keep up the facade and then still feel the sting with every rejection or sometimes try to understand my mental health better by confronting myself with videos like this or books by people I admire and know I could learn a lot from. What you said about allowing yourself to rest without shame really resonated with me because I am hiding my struggles and that might be why I can't fix them, because I'm pretending that I'm fine and that I'm not a burden on my parents and family and that I can drive them or do them favours that are just a fraction of the support they give me without asking for that explanation because they always knew I just worked differently, but do take me out for the whole day and don't allow me to put myself and my healing first. I don't know if I'm autistic or in burnout, I just know that I'm not living the life I want to be living and I don't know what to change anymore. I am, however, at the point where I can attack little things baby step by baby step and, even though they are funny from the outside because I'm quirky and messy and lazy, be a little proud of myself for it.
@@im-radiobecouse many profesionals confuse autistic traits with ADHD symptoms. I could guess that most people diagnosed with ADHD are autistic, becouse autistic traits are making ADHD really stand out, that's why ADHD specialists treat undiagnosed autism traits as ADHD traits. Shortly, it should be named autistic burnout, not ADHD. However it has to be said, that anyone can burnout, however treshhold for non autistic people is much higher
A lot of afab AuDHDers are hypermobile or have connective tissue disorders and this predisposes them to ME/CFS, PEM and Long COVID conditions. This can greatly contribute to the physical and mental exhaustion factor alongside cognitive and emotional drain from pushing through sensory overload and executive dysfunction.
This is such a hard pill to swallow. I'm in that 'I've rested, why am I not better' stage and I'm also in college. I might need to do things I don't want to, like quitting a job I love because it's too much social interaction, or letting my place be messy unless someone is coming over, or not pushing to do more extensive hobbies like drawing from scratch. It's really difficult to let go of stuff but... you're right. Thank you for the advice.
Thank you. I’m 30 and about 10 months into a severe autistic burnout. It took me a few months to give up my work and my business and really stop working completely, but I haven’t worked this year. I got an autism diagnosis 6 months ago. Your videos have really helped. It’s so hard to learn to take it slow. Im definitely at that “I’m bored and a bit better but definitely so far from being recovered completely.
I can tell you have garnered a lot of wisdom during your burnout! This is a great video. I really appreciate how clearly and concisely your recovery steps are laid out. Highly recommend this video to anyone else suspecting they are dealing with autistic burnout or anyone who has a loved one they suspect is in autistic burnout. If I had known this stuff years ago, I could have maybe been a lot easier on myself and prevented the various severe burnouts I can remember experiencing.
Thank you for sharing this. I have been going through burnout myself and your videos have been enlightening and helpful. Seeing others explain what they are feeling has helped me spot what I have been simply accepting as "just a thing I do" and realize it's not just a " thing" thank you.
Thank you for sharing your experience with all of us, I am 25 and questioning if I'm autistic (for like half a year) because autistic burnout explains 100% how I felt for the last two years (with some weeks of depression here and there too). I couldn't study anymore, I didn't get out of bed unless it was to go to the bathroom or get take out (because I couldn't cook or get groceries anymore) I coulnd't talk or chat with friends, but it's not like I didn't WANT to, I just couldn't... i still managed to clean the house sometimes because I had roommates, but my room had become a trash dump and I could only do things related to my favourite games or books unless I was sleeping, or trying to sleep. I stopped brushing my teeth too unless I knew I HAD to see other people and I was so exhausted without being tired, I was so ashamed and I felt like a burden (still do). It was my last year of Uni and I managed to do the last exam (total luck I have no idea how I did it) and after that I had to start my thesis but I am still at the beginning, I went back to live at my parent's house and I've been stuck in this limbo of "I did rest enough, go on to do your things, why aren't you studying? You lost so many chances to give your thesis already, you are just leeching your family's money now, you're not good even to keep the house clean how do you think you'll be able to do your thesis?" both from my idiot brain and from my family sometimes, even if they don't see that they do it... I am going to therapy and I am trying to get myself back, the person that was able to be good at school and be a good kid and be responsible etc... but I guess I have to give it up, it probably wasn't me anyway but it was the version of me that I thought everyone wanted...
This is so me! I've kind of known for a while now, but this video really makes me wonder if my on-again, off-again challenges for the past three years is me repeatedly almost overcoming burnout, thinking everything's fine, and then going back to my old normal only to get to the point where I can't function and start to spiral emotionally/mentally. I'm really really bad at not letting myself rest and gaslighting myself into thinking that I've rested for long enough. It doesn't help that I'm really good at school and base my external identity on that. But maybe someday we can learn to be kinder to ourselves. 💙
I really resonate with what you're saying, I'm in the same situation as you with my thesis, except that I'm 30 and I'm supposed to be working by now, that puts more pressure on me. I spent the entire previous year worrying only about eating, sleeping and cleaning myself without being able to advance what I was supposed to be doing. Now I'm better but the thought that I'm useless and that I won't be able to keep up when I go out to work in the world grips me. I wish you the best and I hope you can finish your thesis, as I hope to finish mine.
@@Cherigaaru thank you! I hope that you can do it too, I'm sorry you feel like that but I totally get it... More time passes the worse it gets for me, at least thinking about "peer pressure". I mean, my sister is studying AND working and already lives in a rented house with bf+dog and she's just 22 it's so crazy idk how she can do it, and I think "maybe if she can, I can too" but that's bs because we're different people, and I also know she's exhausted and she wants to stop to have all that stuff to do, because that's not sustainable even for a NT lol I doubt any ND could do it for long periods of time without support
Morgan, I follow you on tiktok and your experience and traits seem more similar to mine than most creators I've run across. Glad you're over here, too, and just wanted to say thank you for sharing because I truly feel less alone hearing you talk about what late dx is like, and I hope you know you're not alone, either. Burnout leading to seeking help was also how I discovered I'm autistic & adhd. I relate to the guilt of letting others take over. For me it's my husband. He's wonderful and we've been married bffs for 20 years, and I think that's WHY it's so hard to let go of my independence and watch him do all my stuff. It feels very shameful, but I know that's part of internalized ableism as well. Thank you for sharing where you're at and helping others to understand and heal.
I relate to Morgan more than other creators as well. I’m glad that you at least have someone to help you but I do get that feeling of guilt of someone else doing your work because I feel like I over work myself and I hate asking for help because of that guilt that I also get. I thought I had that someone to help me but my boyfriend broke up with me and I don’t blame him because he needed someone to help him more than him helping me. I’m at the point where I’m isolating myself so much every single person I know is calling me lazy and I then think that and it feels like it becomes reality because of it. I’m autistic but nobody believes it anymore because I’m too good at masking? I don’t know why they don’t think I have it anymore I literally got a diagnosis of being autistic and they are basically now trying to undiagnose me because I’m not like the autistic little boys which is frustrating because they don’t know that there are different types of autism. I literally feel like I have no one to look up to now and it leads me to hide out in my room all alone only to get called lazy again. I also don’t eat much of anything either I actually have to force myself to eat something to stay healthy or something. I want the best for myself but it’s so hard because no one believes anything I tell them about myself like they think they know me better than I know myself it’s so frustrating and saddening I get so depressed and then I have to hide it because if I tell them I’m depressed then it feel like I’m being attention seeking or something but I only want to help myself and no one wants to help me even if they say they do want to help they make it worse and I don’t know how to tell them…
@baileyplayz1844 I hear you. I'm sorry it's so hard and that you feel alone. 😔 People want quick solutions for things, and autism is more of a long explanation that requires repeated solves. This isn't your fault and is just the reality of the neurotype. Your dx is supposed to be a tool that helps you, and it sounds like they are disregarding that which is unfair. I hope it gets better and that they will be more open to hearing you, and understanding your perspective. I am exhausted from having no one see life through my eyes and having to conform to everyone else's way of things even though it doesn't help or make sense to me. I hope you will find more connections with people in the community and that you see a light at the end of the tunnel, where you will be more in control of your environment, your schedule and the company you keep. ☺️🥰 You deserve support and validation to keep you afloat. I'm sunfishbaby on tiktok if you'd like to stay in touch!
This video hit me pretty hard... I'm definitely burnt out, though I have not yet figured out how much of that is due to my autism (though the more I look into it, the more that seems to be a huge factor). I think I'm still far enough away from a total collapse to fend that off, though that also feels like a struggle I should give up. I love the "let go of responsibilities you want to let go of" (or however you phrased it). I know that that is something I should do, but it is definitely *not* something I want to do. Because of that there are no responsibilities I want to let go. If anything, even though I don't like to do house work, it is becoming more important that that is something I *can* do. I hope this video reached me in time. I am in therapy, though I'm looking for a new therapist, who understands autism a lot better. Ramble over, thank you for sharing this. I needed to hear this. 🤗
i had no idea autistic burnout was even a thing till i started following you and other autistic creators and everything you said explained a lot of what i was feeling throughout most of my life especially your brain tricking you into not resting and pushing yourself too much and i can have an tendency to push myself way too much especially when it came to when i started getting more into filming youtube content and all of last year my goal was to make sure to rest and not push myself too much and it's an goal this year to where while i wanna do this or that, sometimes i gotta remember my limits cause burnout is not an fun thing to deal with (also been feeling burned out from my job mostly cause of how long i been doing it and im looking into doing something different and thankfully everyone has been understanding about my burnout recently) anyways amazing video as always Morgan :}
Yeah, this has been my experience. I'm just recovering after almost a decade. From like 30 to 40. Just finally accepting that this all might be autism. I masked really well. But during burn out I lost it all. I finally felt like I just didn't understand people and needed to stay away from all stimulation and all that. A lot of my little quirks rose into conscious thought. Like my inability to touch certain materials without flipping out. I realize now I hid all this things. They felt like evidence I was insane. The funny thing is I have been labeled with half a dozen mental illnesses (probably many of them falsely) because no one diagnosed me with autism. Thanks for the videos. Hopefully getting an official diagnosis soon.
i have depression, a vaping addiction, soon to get a drug addiction, autistic, have adhd, asperger’s, possibly ocd, possibly tourette’s, suicidal, and much more. im sooooo healthy :D
Don't worry about not having a script for the video. You did great! I understood everything perfectly and there was no chaos in it. ❤ Btw. I want to thank you for the videos you make for us! As a autistic woman, your channel is a safe space for me. I'm learning new stuff about the spectrum and I'm surprised how many people deal with similar problems as I do. Thank you again. ❤ Sending a lot of love for you! 💖
Thank you for your videos and for sharing this part of your struggle. My wife and I are autistic and have each faced burnout before in life without even knowing we were autistic. It’s so scary to not know what is wrong with you and to be facing such an uphill battle against something like autistic burnout. More people need to share their stories just like you are, because it gives us so much hope to see people like you face it and learn from it and come out on the other side
Well said! You articulated it so very well. Morgan, I am so proud of you for finding the patience for what you need in your healing. Sending you a hug 💕💕💗
When you try to add things, keep in mind that WHAT you add is about as important as HOW you do the things you add. If you do the right thing in a way that is wrong for you, then it costs disproportionate amounts of energy. Optimizing approaches is powerful. Your video is just fine.
I am making a graphic novel on adhd and asd. Your videos help me understand what autism really is. I have adhd but hearing an autistic person talk about neurodivergence, and not google is really awesome and helpful.
Can I ask more about it? I'm studying creative writing and could have stuff that help you. I'm trying to do something similar. How are you creating the graphic novel?
@@benjaminguyer7692 I have a mentor who is a mental health professional and another who is helping me with the drawings. The project is for school so i am supplied with all the things that are needed. Im using pencils and paper to create it and i already have the storyline but thank you for your support!
Thank you so much for your video Morgan. You made me reallize that I''ve probably been in a autistic burnout for a while now. I had a working accident back in 2021 that left me with physical pain, physical limitations and mental struggles. After watching many videos and reading on the subject, I found out I'm probably autistic and ADHD. I had to quit my job and have to learn computer work that I don't understand and hate My brain keeps telling me I'm stupid and i'm so frustrated and crying all the time.I feel like no one understands me and they just see me as lasy when I call in sick at school because I am so tired. Sorry about this long message Every words you said in your video is exactly how I feel.
I was definitely burnt out in 2021 (though I thought I had depression because of some of the issues occurring in my life), as the burnout started getting better, I thought I was good enough to go back to school. It's been a struggle and I keep having to push back my graduation. Now I'm finding out that my burnout probably never ended because I never let it fully recover. It's helpful knowing that there are other people in a similar situation. 💙
This video didn't feel all over the place to me. I thought it was natural and easy to follow. Thanks for another great video ! I'm currently trying to recover from autistic burnout myself, and your videos help ❤
this is a really helpful video. i really appreciate the insight. needed to hear this today. it's really nice having a fellow young autistic woman that i can really relate too in terms of autistic expeciance. i'm also getting out of the super intense autistic burnout but still a long way to go. just glad i'm not so exhaused all the time anymore. still struggling with daily tasks but at least i can handle some more things now. i find it really helpful to hear from people who know we're not just being lazy and not just anxious and depressed. i'm 23 now, diagnosed autism at 22, adhd at 21, similar to you. i really appreciate your presence online morgan
I show symptoms of autism and definitely symptoms of schizophrenia. It means a lot to me that there is a female out there that can relate to me. Please keep bringing more awareness to this and keep helping women who suffer with mental illness. I saw your video about girls with autism and it makes sense that I'm more attracted to girls with autism cuz I have autism as well lol 😅 thank you for letting us know we are not alone! I'm proud of you!
Thank you so much for sharing this, Morgan! Clearly, having a job, a university project and a master's thesis to write, all at the same time, is not sustainable for me. It happened to me as well. At 26, my parents had to cook for me again for more than two months. It was, among other stuff, embarrassing for me.
something i noticed (or more like could put into words) after getting dx’d is how i enjoy videos made by neurodivergent people because of how they don’t just stare into the camera but keep looking around… it gives me such comfort ❤
My friend is struggling with her life right now and she gets burnouts randomly and just starts crying wherever she is. Her family is really strict and she is tired mentally and physically. She says she watches your channel and it helps❤
Thanks for your video! It's very helpful they way it's structured, the risks, alerts to watch for and especially the "wait till you are fully fully recovered part" just in time to save me from a huge mistake. Thanks a lot again!
Oof this hit hard. I am about to return to work after 8 weeks of leave due to Autistic burnout. And I'm still tired. Because I tried to "get back to normal" too quickly. I hear you on the outsourcing of responsibilities. Coping with a late diagnosis is a long, long process. I feel like I am creating a brand new me.
Thanks for this wonderful video Morgan! I am experiencing a state of being exhausted atm. But I don't have anyone to support me. I really have to fight through this alone. My family is treating me so badly. They are constantly criticizing me. My mom was the one that told me about her guess that I was autistic many years ago. And still she tells me, that I am being dramatic. Recently I told her, that I am overstimulated by a situation and she answered: Autism is no excuse. We are all stimulated and you are not any more affected than all of us. She also tells me, that I am selfish and she doesn't care about me at all. She really wants me to move out. I want that too bc I can't handle that drama anymore but I am so exhausted. I am not sure if I can handle this alone. Furthermore I don't have any friends. I was the one that tried to keep the friendships going but in the past year I had 4 friendship breakups, mainly because I was "exhausting" and one friend that I was leaning on through a hard time ( I was quitting my toxic job) left me because she couldn't handle my mental problems anymore. She kinda was like: go get help, I can't help you, let's not be friends anymore, I can't handle this. So. If I was living in a supportive environment, I am sure, it wouldn't be that bad. But I am not. And I don't get to go to therapy because there are no capacities. What makes it even worse is that I really have trust issues. I have had one lesson with a therapist that didn't take me seriously, I talked to my house doctor, who didn't take me seriously, as well. And I have gone through a horrible horrible apprenticeship. Everyone tells me, that it isn't possible that I have no one to talk with or that I have experienced so much shit. Everyone is telling me, it must be because of me. Because I was in the victim-role and being dramatic. I am really sorry that I used your comments space for that, I really am. But I am desperate and no one listens to me or understands me. I am so sick of pretending I was handling my life properly, because I am not.
I’m going through this right now and I thought I knew a lot about myself, but I didn’t realize other people had gone through literally the exact same thing as me. This is so helpful, thank you for posting this. Luckily for me I also had a previous burnout episode where I improved a lot of things. So I am starting out a lot higher than I was last time. It’s still frustrating the amount of time it’s taking but I’m much more able to accept it than I was last time. The fact that you were able to eventually make it out is also inspiring to me.
I'm actually starting to tear up for a VERY long time I've been in autistic burnout without knowing it and this is so accurate to all of the problems I've been having and i can finally start working towards fixing it and get better now that i know the problem. Thank you so so much. A very much earned like and subscribe from me.
This is a great video, thank you Morgan. My first burnout (13 years ago) lasted about 3 years, diagnosed as depression. I changed my lifestyle drastically since my therapist said i was at breaking point. I'm just recovering from another burnout now due to a load of health issues that were just discovered in 2023, at 46yo. Klinefelter Syndrome, Cancer, Depression, and then the realisation of Autism, oh and finally Anaphylaxis from leech bites. 2023 was a very tough year. I have been so incredibly tired over the past year, and am just starting to pull myself through it now, slowly reintroducing tasks, eating better, losing the weight that I gained; generally getting back to 'my normal'.
Morgan! Thank you SO MUCH for spreading awareness on ADHD and autism!! I felt missing out and different from others for my whole life, always tired and not meeting expectations. And only because of your YT Shorts about specific traits of adhd (I am very used to the regular symptoms of my adhd such as general inattentiveness, so I am somehow masking them even from myself) I considered and got my therapist to consider such diagnosis and run EEG test. It showed adhd picture so i am now kinda diagnosed and can get proper meds! The most important thing is that I know how to help myself now. Such a relief omg Can't thank you enough❤️
I am experiencing this but I have nobody I can lean on 😢 not one person. Plus I have to take care of my aging mother. Sometimes I hope to get a terminal illness just to be able to rest, how messed up is that
I have had those feelings too. If you have the energy for it maybe call around to autism centers in your area and see if you qualify for any services or assistance. I’m sorry you are in that position❤️❤️ we need more resources so badly 😢
Been there. Only it was the children I had to take care of. The thoughts about terminal illness were a help actually. Because it wouldn't help me accomplish my responsibilities. So it actually made me take my responsibilities slightly less seriously, remembering I had to survive to take care of them. Remembering everything would just get worse for everybody else if I didn't see to it that I survived in reasonably good condition. Take care, you're not alone in this situation
Okay! I promise to give things up! I’m at the point where I can almost not get out of bed anymore. I’m so exhausted. I’m dealing with frequent meltdowns. I have been repeatedly told to cut back and give up responsibilities. I chose some responsibilities to surrender but I couldn’t muster the courage to tell the people I had to break the responsibilities with. I know I don’t need to do so much. The only thing stopping me for at least two years is the social interaction of facing the people I have to “let down”. So I continue to suffer and it is just not rational. It is better to give up some things than end up completely dysfunctional. ❤
Having someone else talk about this is so helpful. I struggle to put my thoughts and feelings into words and to explain to people and this is so beneficial. Thank you!
I literally just found your Autism communication video and it resonated with me so much, that I ran to your channel to see if you had a video about Autistic burnout, and oh, look! 🤣❤️❤️
Tysvm Morgan! I'm nearly 50, late dx Audhd, recovering from breast cancer & burn out together. The ableism struggle is MASSIVE as is the frustration of can burnout just be "done" already so i can get back to life.
I’ve felt burned out for months, and have ignored it, and now am at a point where I struggle to get through the day and am trying so blooming hard to acknowledge it all and make adjustments. Found your vid and like how you address things, have subbed. Also yes to ‘feeling better’ for a day/two/a week then burning out again, story of the last year for me. Take care x
as an autistic person i can say ive probably experienced this. i spent a few months working at an amazon warehouse, right up until christmas... 10+ hour shifts, grueling pace, deafeningly loud equipment, surrounded by hundreds of people in a large open space with my station facing the nearest wall and my back exposed to the entire rest of the place, and just an all around horrible culture in the first place, i would be approached by multiple managers multiple times a day to be told to work faster even when i was pushing myself to work faster than most people there, near the end i started keeping a tally of my own work and figured out they were lying to me to try and get me to work harder saying i was under quota when i was nearly doubling it you wanna speedrun a mental breakdown as an autistic person, work at amazon, theyve got ALL the triggers. lol. so yea one day i just started getting dizzy, cant be falling over next to heavy machinery so i told my boss, they sent me home, went to the doctor that day, i was physically fine, but i couldnt leave the house without feeling like i was about to pass out and/or be physically ill for months. i still have trouble sometimes years later
I've been in burnout for 6 years and this video is when I found that out. I am now worried that if I don't recover from burnout soon, I will encounter financial difficulties through being unable to get a job. There are practical issues I have with applying the theory of autistic burnout to my case. You say that the cure for it is rest; what counts as rest? Is playing video games rest? Am I resting when I am watching television or reading a novel? What about things that are physically but not mentally taxing, such as working out at the gym?
Thank you for this video. Just what I needed now. I was only diagnosed 4 months ago and I now realise I experienced autistic burnout many times during my 51 years on earth..maybe from the age of 27. The worst was when I basically spent a whole year in bed. I could only manage to brush my teeth in the morning and I had to cook for my partner. I was so afraid he would think I was just being lazy if I didn’t. It did get better with therapy as you suggested…and meds for depression. It has come back a few times, but it always gets better.
I was at the brink of burnout this winter, when winter lethargy set in. It was not so much of actually doing too much, but more of trying hard doing things that my brain was not ready to do. This can be really draining, even if outsiders don't see something happening. And it is especially draining as you don't get forward with your work. For me, it has helped a lot having a student at my side to whom I can talk about my work, eventually teaching them about what I do.
Thank you for your honest words. I am in a autistic burnout right now. It started some months before, but I didn't want to see it, I guess. Now I can't work and I have to change some things in my business (I am a freelancer). But therapy wouldn't make sense for me. I couldn't go there because I don't drive and I can't manage going with public transportation (too loud, too much people, too much stress to have appointments). And I live in a small village, here is no therapist who knows a lot about AuDHD). And I already know what I have to do to get better. But thanks a lot for your supporting video.❤
Wow this hits close to home, someone I knew lived through that. And the worst part is I think the mental suffering we inflict upon ourselves through internalized judgement is even more damaging than the initial limitation =/
Wow I can relate to every word you’re saying, it’s crazy. I’m 23/F diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I got to a point in high school where I couldn’t even get myself to go into the building anymore from the anxiety, so had to do online from that point on. Then a few years later, one of my customer service jobs sent me into a mental health spiral where I ended up quitting and then basically sat around my house for the next 2 years. It got to the point where I was too anxious to drive anymore which sucked, and only made me isolate myself more. I’ve gotten to a better point now luckily, I’m in college but still struggling with coming off as awkward in person. I’ve never really considered that I could be autistic, but at the same time I’ve been relating to pretty much every video/short I’ve seen of yours so now idk what to do 😅
I hit "regular burnout" 2 years ago, was on sick leave for 2 years tried to work again and again and am now in a way worse state. I only recently realized that maybe that autism diagnosis I got at age 15 wasn't as out of left field as everyone kept telling me. A terrible therapist that I was involuntarily switched to dismissed my diagnosis and said I am a master manipulator and managed to trick everyone into thinking I was autistic cause Im "too normal". I basically ran on a broken leg for 6 years now and Im paying the price HEAVILY. Im not in the process of getting disability acommodations so I can continue working a normal job and be financially independent, but it's a mess. I am not even able to clean my apartment or just BE. My skin and nervous system feel like they're on fire and freezing at the same time, my body is doing all sorts of weird shit and I just cant deal. Your videos at least make me feel less alone, because nobody in my life currently knows anything about autism and still doesnt fully believe I have it
I am going through it with the nice addition of administration making my life extra complicated and taking it the few resources I have (or don’t) which is preventing me getting better.
I am crying hearing how long recovery takes. I have been at home for 1 week because I just couldn't take it anymore at work but I have to go back tomorrow. + I already feel like I am doing the least since I live with my parents and they take care of everything
Hey Morgan! Could you do a video on different things/activities you did and now still implement in your life to not get burnt out? Ik its different for everyone but it would be helpful to have ideas! Thanks!
you said everything perfectly clearly it wasn't all over the place! idk if that's bcus im autistic myself but especially as an inattentive adhder who often has issues following what ppl are saying i caught exactly what you said! and also this reminds me of trauma in the sense of causing exhaustion and that it takes a long time to heal from
after watching this video and wondering what was happening to me, and finding out about autistic burnout I think I know what was/is happening to me. to help me rest I had to give up my weekend job with my dad and not have a job for a while, that helped me significantly, while I'm definitely not out of autistic burnout, I am starting to know what to do to help myself and take care of myself. thank you so much for the video, it helped me a lot.
I don't have a diagnosis but my therapist and I are pretty sure I'm in autistic burnout, and have experienced it multiple times because I've been put into a caretaker role my entire life, willingly or otherwise. I hate that you have to work so hard to not work so hard.
I love your videos, I have been researching and watching others who talk about autism and I love your channel the most, the way you teach and describe things really helps me to understand it ❤️
I havent' finished the video yet (now at 3:15), but just an FYI: burn out sounds a lot like what you're describing. People who say "I sometimes get a little burn out as well" do not know what burn out is. Actual burn out is just as debilitating as what you are describing for autistic burnout.
I have depended on other people all my life without realizing it or thinking about it. Been in 2 different relationships that covered 20 years of my life from 19 to 39. By 40 I had moved out into my very own first place with my 3 kids from my last relationship. I was suddenly thrown into a completely different world with 3 kids I was responsible for all by MYSELF. I hadn't realized how much support I had with their father or how much I depended on the routine of it all. After 3 months of being on my own I started losing the ability to function. I was getting ANGRY over noises, fast movement, lights. Having meltdowns and yelling for no reason. Forgetting everything. Crying constantly. Couldn't talk to people anymore cause I either forgot simple words I knew or I couldn't get my thoughts out into words so I would get angry and walk off. Then I started stemming constantly. Especially when I was upset. I literally thought I was going crazy. I went to a therapist and they were no help. They said it was depression but I've felt depression and this.. isn't it. This is way worse. It's not the same. It's like I'm not me. I'm more aware that I'm not me and I can't do anything and don't know why but I hate it cause I have kids and they don't understand. I did research for a year that lead to me self diagnosing as Autistic. Then I noticed my 7 year old was just like me. So a year later and more research I got us assessed and I have been diagnosed with Autism and my daughter with Autism and Adhd. It's been 2 years since I went in burnout and still in it. So thank you for this video cause I was beginning to think I'm going to live the rest of my life like this and I can't imagine that. I'm so exhausted from everything I can't even get up to eat. It takes every bit of energy to get up and get my kids ready for school without getting angry. They deserve a better mom and I hate that I am this person for them
It’s great you can share your experiences. I wish you success with your recovery. It does sound very difficult and challenging, so you deserve credit for what you have done so far. Also, I have to admit I was distracted (an easy thing for me) by your paint samples in the background. I find choosing the right paint color to be a very difficult task (which explains why all of my walls are beige). 🙂
I think it's very important that you mentioned that you can literally just be sitting on the couch and still not be resting because that in particular is something that someone from the outside looking in will never even consider as a possibility but it's something that happens a lot, especially if you have autism and anxiety or autism and ADHD.
This encouragement is very relevant to/for me right now, although I have been spiraling for years into despair with no apparent means by which I could obtain agency over the material causes of my burnout/chronic depression, which makes any expectation of regaining my Joi de Vivre seem unreasonable, I hold out hope because I have been so lucky in the past. just my thoughts before watching!
I have a pretty strong feeling i have autism. At first i thought i was just shy my whole entire life (besides 3 year in elementry when i was actually able to play with people) But when i saw your videos i related to so much. I did so much research too and now too i realise i hit autistic burnout this year. I went to a new school and a new study where everything got serious and also pretty overwhelming sometimes. Until 1 day i started getting sick(was from stress but wouldnt go away). This lasted the entire year until i left the study.
thank you. I do still feel somewhat lost. I have been in probably autistic burnout since 2017 (or lets say, that's when i couldn't handle anything anymore without so much effort that it felt like it's breaking me) I feel like I have been completely shattered since then, constantly trying to pick up the pieces and have been trying so many things to figure out whats going on, why it's happening etc. including 3 years of therapy. It's only since about 2 years ago when it was suggested that I might have adhd and/or autism. (I even suspected autism before but my therapist had shot it down without explanation). I also have been waiting for the official evaluation for almost 2 years now :( queue is long...but have been doing a ton of research myself and am quite certain that I'm dealing with both and that it's the reason why my whole life I felt like I could not do what everyone else was doing, it felt horrible, I felt helpless (still do in some aspects), like everyone else seemed to just go "do life" and I was constantly struggling especially with simple things like chores, work...socializing.... it's less than 2 years that I started accommodating myself and learning so much...reframing my life and everything and it has been hard...and frustrating because I had to reduce my responsibilities so much, ask for so much help and I don't have family who can help with that, so I'm relying alot on social services and similar...but I'm craving so much to be able to do what I want to do...but even the things I want to do that should be enjoyable are really hard for me to do :/ it is indeed very depressing....and due to circumstances I have been more or less forced into work and school situations which burned me out even more....it's hard to even try to stand up for myself towards unemployment office workers etc. because the truth is, that I think I know, that I won't be able to work for as long as I can't even do simple chores at home, when everything even the things I enjoy are making me suffer. I very much feel disabled and I have no idea if I can actually get out of this or if my needed lifestyle changes are going to be permanent in the sense that I won't be able to do more than what I can do now. It hurts. Even more so knowing, that this could have been maybe been prevented if someone would have taken my problems seriously. But...this video does give me a bit hope, that maybe there is a way to continue and get better. Could you maybe give some examples on what kind of things you introduced slowly? aka like which type of task you would introduce for a week or longer, would it be something for every day or something to do once a week...which level of complexity would it have? how big the goal?
Good to hear you're doing better. Good that you found enough time and have gotten back to life. Knowing what's sustainable has been a lifelong mystery to me, so if you manage to get there ... if you enter the league of zen masters like David Lynch who spend their lives only doing the things they're comfortable doing ... then I salute you, Morgan. As for a threshold? a maximum # of responsibilities? Maybe laziness is a virtue if it means standing a safe distance from the maximum, because the world has a nasty habit of adding unexpected problems. It becomes more than the maximum before the maximum is even reached. It's angering and depressing and, for anyone trying to be responsible, it's inevitable. Society's gaslighters make this worse by expecting you to have the benefit of experience with solving problems because you're a certain degree older. I call bull on this. Age doesn't equate to experience. People can in fact deteriorate and lose skills when burning out or living a trauma. "I saw you do it last year" is the battle cry of apathy. They don't empathize. The two things you suggest (changing the little things & relying on other people) are good advice. They are also the two things the human brain always targets with guilt and other feelings. Knowing that is half the battle, but I can't imagine being as trapped as you were for that long in a cycle of boredom with recovering. (Years?? oy vey.) By the way: no worries. You didn't babble, I found this very easy to follow. I think you give such valuable encouragement, like the part about things getting better. They do.
I’m so happy you got out of burnout and fighting the negative self talk of hey you’re lazy because you know in the long run you have to stop. It’s good that you’re slowly easing you’re self back to your normal schedule, I know you’ll meet your threshold even if it changes, as long as you don’t stop ❤️ Off topic I’m sorry but could you make a video on RSD? Thanks 🩷
I've given some of the responsibility of doing the vacuuming to a robovac. It can't get everything and I have to remember to empty the dust bin every week, but at least the floor doesn't feel gritty all the time. Best $300 I've ever spent.
I've been pushing through this burnout state for the past 15 years, and it got to the point where it ruined my health, and I got an awful autoimmune disease, and it makes it really hard for me to work. And just recently I had to take even more responsibilities, and double the workload, because my mom doesn't understand me at all, and just keeps sabotaging me, and I decided that it's better to do everything myself, than rely on her. I already know it's not going to end well... 😕
Oh dear, yea, that isn't a fun ride. I am struggling right now with burnout, I am starting to do chores again and taking care of myself. On top of that I need to get a job again. Had quit due to how tired I felt constantly. I am trying to allow myself feel too. Been trying to avoid the responsibilities of dealing with myself. x.x I felt so irritated to go out to eat, a baby started crying and even with my (not noise cancelling) earphones dampening the noise I started to cry because my head started to hurt. ;-;
Things I have given up: Makeup, fancy (uncomfortable) clothes and shoes, christmas cards, giving the '110%' at work, paying bills manually (autopay is amazing), some amount of house cleaning, micromanaging my kids, long hair. I added in exercise with my husband, which helped because I think it improved my sleep. Fixing sleep helps everything.
This is the first visit to your channel. I was dxed with aspbergers/autism 2.5 years ago. I was 64. I was already burned out, but didn't know it was autism since I didn't know I was autistic. I've been in severe burnout for several decades. See, I worked full time in a library (dealing with lots of people). And, when I was 36, my dad had a massive stroke and needed 24/7 care. I still lived at home, and mom and I cared for him. I had also lost 155 lbs, and was determined to keep on with excessive exercise. The stroke happened in 1994. Within a few years, mom and I were both burned out (I'm certain she had autism). As you said about giving up something, I had to give up exercise. I gave up exercise (got fat again) because my choices were give up work, exercise, or the life/death issues with dad. So away went exercise. Dad died 13 years later, in 2007. Right away, besides burnout, mom became I'll and I spent the next 11 years caring for her. (I had 5 siblings who mostly said no when I asked for help. They all live in town). I retired at age 50 with a very small pension, because something else had to go. I usually didn't know how to keep going. Mom died in 2018, and I've been trying to recover ever since. As you suggested, at that time I had to put things down. I can usually do 1 thing per day. Laundry on one day, for example. I watch a great niece for an afternoon/week. Groceries. I keep the house pretty picked up, but don't often dust/vacuum.
My brain tells me I'm lazy. I know others think I'm lazy. Others think I have nothing to show for my life (I really wanted to find a spouse and have kids. But I had parents). No one thinks I could be burned out like this. Quarantine was good for me because I was isolated. Laid on the couch and read from my kindle. (I dare anyone to do caregiving 24/7 for 24 years, with 14 years connected to working full time.) So, people don't believe I'm burned out. I am very slowly beginning to recover, yet I know that 30 years after dad's stroke, at age 66, I'll never be strong and energetic again.
I know this is long. But it took a lot to get me this burned out. And I knew this burnout was different than, say, burnout from studying.
When I can't care for myself, I doubt I have anyone to help.
Holy shit, you had to deal with so much and DO SO MUCH. You deserve to rest
I think you're a hero.
...And that you deserved better. I'm inspired by people like you.
@@InterrobangInterrobang thank you. I wish I'd been able to set boundaries. However, even now I don't know what I could have done differently. Doing less would have meant they had to go to a nursing home. And they would have died years earlier.
@@maryhazlett
That's the paradox. Each moment you give, Is another tiny universe. Like light from a gentle star, You give people life. But then, Instead of receiving a gift, You are the gift. I hope you try to be your gift to you, And give yourself life. And i hope you find the smaller you, In every tiny universe looking back at you, So you can know how you made them feel, too.
Sorry if the poetics are too dense, i just want you to remember that, ...You matter.
I am very sorry to hear that happened to you, and I am very sorry to read about the loss of your parents. You didn't deserve that, and you were taken advantage of by your siblings. It happens, but it comes at a steep cost.
Nonetheless, know this: you are incredibly resilient and did something that few could ever match, and one day, you will recover enough to summon all of the vitality you have left to live a vibrant and glorious life completely on your own terms, but you need to prioritize your health and well-being in all of their facets in order to be able to experience that. May you recover fully soon!!!
Also, cut out anyone who calls you lazy. They are literal dead weight and hinder your recovery. The sooner you cut them out, the more easily you will gain metaphorical strength and energy back. Internally, show yourself grace, and remind yourself that the rest is essential to recover your life force.
You can still get married, and even if biological kids are a long stretch now even with fertility treatments, you can adopt if you so choose. Your life does not always have to be about self sacrifice and burnout, but be aware of your current limits and rest more to restore higher and higher set points.
This video has me in tears because I now know that I am not a horrible, useless, subhuman creature.
Thank you.
I was in autistic burnout for 5 years but never had a word for it. My depression assessment was often not reflective of what I was experiencing which made me feel all the more like a lazy person. I couldn't shower for months, I could only eat food if it was frozen or takeout, etc. Now, I've been able to slowly ease routines back into my life, I shower every other day, I keep up with tasks, etc. But I absolutely had to go through a LOT for this. Thank you. Good luck, beautiful people.
I’m an undiagnosed autism but I hate brushing my teeth, showering, social contact, and a lot more and I don’t know how to tell my parents I think I’m autisc even my school counselor thinks I have autism and I’m 11 years old male I hope someone can help. Thank you Morgan for helping relise I’m autistic tru watching ur videos and this video help me understand what I’m going thru right now ❤ keep up great work and I have already hit autistic burnout
definitely try to communicate that to your parents and get assessed! of course it's not always a safe environment at home but the sooner you make those changes to accommodate yourself, the better :)
Even if you don't feel ready to tell them, that you think you are autistic, try to communicate your needs to them. For example, if you are struggling with sensory issues, maybe tell them that it exhausts you how loud everything is and that you would like to wear earphones or earplugs. Maybe explaining your needs is easier than telling them you think you are autistic.
I brush my teeth in bed now.
i found out i was autistic just this past june at 18. turning 19 next month.. school really took a toll on me. you never really realize how long you spend ur life in school until its all over. the pandemic definitely triggered the slow downfall and worsening of my burnout, the layers slowly coming off eventually leading to my diagnosis. now i have to rethink everything, its so frustrating. i want to be like everyone else; suceeding in college, getting a job, moving out and away from home.. but i cant, at least not anytime soon. its so hard to not compare myself to others my age. i just feel so incredibly stuck. it feels like all im doing is wasting my time. i have such a hard time connecting with people and making new friends, especially right now where its hard to access people (not having a job or being in school).. i would kill for a therapist specializing in neurodivergence, i just dont fully know where to look, or if i can even afford it. im just so tired, i really am. certain things are getting worse like my sensory sensitivities and processing words and conversations. my sense of identity has been going down the drain the past couple years as well. im trans and queer and i just dont fully understand who i am and what i want out of my life.
sorry this is so long. theres just so much going on yet nothing at all, does that make sense? i dont know what to do.. im trying to rest but what even is resting??? its really crazy how i seriously just have to rethink my entire self and way of living to accommodate to a disability i didnt even know i had. we deserve so much better.
I went to get an autism diagnosis two years ago and they were confused and uncertain (because of my ADHD and because I was gifted and talked so fast) and asked me if I had a current issue that needed addressing or if I was just curious and I said just curious and they sent me home without a diagnosis. Looking back, I was pushing down the issues I did have and trying to get that diagnosis took all the energy I had to advocate for myself out of me and it failed and I pushed myself further. I've been living on the absolute minimum (living with my parents, unemployed, genuinely in bed for over twenty hours on a normal day and just getting up for meals) for years now after I quit a job that was hell for me after a very stressful phase of unemployment after I graduated from a degree where I just had to hand in my thesis without actually finishing it because I had no energy left in me after I had already switched to a new place because I couldn't stand my previous environment and degree anymore. I graduated both times (thanks to the giftedness I guess), but I never got out of it what I wanted. I am just now slowly having days where I have the clarity to realise that all the other days were foggy. I sometimes have days where I can get things done that help my progress, like tackle my lifelong hoarding issue I'm surrounded by every day, try to do something creative I enjoy, apply to jobs I'm not ready for to keep up the facade and then still feel the sting with every rejection or sometimes try to understand my mental health better by confronting myself with videos like this or books by people I admire and know I could learn a lot from. What you said about allowing yourself to rest without shame really resonated with me because I am hiding my struggles and that might be why I can't fix them, because I'm pretending that I'm fine and that I'm not a burden on my parents and family and that I can drive them or do them favours that are just a fraction of the support they give me without asking for that explanation because they always knew I just worked differently, but do take me out for the whole day and don't allow me to put myself and my healing first. I don't know if I'm autistic or in burnout, I just know that I'm not living the life I want to be living and I don't know what to change anymore. I am, however, at the point where I can attack little things baby step by baby step and, even though they are funny from the outside because I'm quirky and messy and lazy, be a little proud of myself for it.
As someone who has Aspergers/ASD and ADHD, and has gone through ADHD burnout, its great to see this in the media, and I'm glad you are feeling better!
Me too
WAIT I DIDNT KNOW ADHD BURNOUT EXISTED WHATTT
I stg if im going thru both 😭😭
It’s not called Asperger’s anymore
@@theawkwardautistic👍
@@im-radiobecouse many profesionals confuse autistic traits with ADHD symptoms. I could guess that most people diagnosed with ADHD are autistic, becouse autistic traits are making ADHD really stand out, that's why ADHD specialists treat undiagnosed autism traits as ADHD traits.
Shortly, it should be named autistic burnout, not ADHD. However it has to be said, that anyone can burnout, however treshhold for non autistic people is much higher
A lot of afab AuDHDers are hypermobile or have connective tissue disorders and this predisposes them to ME/CFS, PEM and Long COVID conditions.
This can greatly contribute to the physical and mental exhaustion factor alongside cognitive and emotional drain from pushing through sensory overload and executive dysfunction.
I have autism, POTS and probably EDS (connective tissue disorders). I am always tired.
Yes that's me with pain my worst symptom
This is such a hard pill to swallow. I'm in that 'I've rested, why am I not better' stage and I'm also in college. I might need to do things I don't want to, like quitting a job I love because it's too much social interaction, or letting my place be messy unless someone is coming over, or not pushing to do more extensive hobbies like drawing from scratch. It's really difficult to let go of stuff but... you're right. Thank you for the advice.
Thank you. I’m 30 and about 10 months into a severe autistic burnout. It took me a few months to give up my work and my business and really stop working completely, but I haven’t worked this year. I got an autism diagnosis 6 months ago. Your videos have really helped. It’s so hard to learn to take it slow. Im definitely at that “I’m bored and a bit better but definitely so far from being recovered completely.
I can tell you have garnered a lot of wisdom during your burnout! This is a great video. I really appreciate how clearly and concisely your recovery steps are laid out. Highly recommend this video to anyone else suspecting they are dealing with autistic burnout or anyone who has a loved one they suspect is in autistic burnout. If I had known this stuff years ago, I could have maybe been a lot easier on myself and prevented the various severe burnouts I can remember experiencing.
Thank you for sharing this. I have been going through burnout myself and your videos have been enlightening and helpful. Seeing others explain what they are feeling has helped me spot what I have been simply accepting as "just a thing I do" and realize it's not just a " thing" thank you.
Thank you for sharing your experience with all of us, I am 25 and questioning if I'm autistic (for like half a year) because autistic burnout explains 100% how I felt for the last two years (with some weeks of depression here and there too). I couldn't study anymore, I didn't get out of bed unless it was to go to the bathroom or get take out (because I couldn't cook or get groceries anymore) I coulnd't talk or chat with friends, but it's not like I didn't WANT to, I just couldn't... i still managed to clean the house sometimes because I had roommates, but my room had become a trash dump and I could only do things related to my favourite games or books unless I was sleeping, or trying to sleep. I stopped brushing my teeth too unless I knew I HAD to see other people and I was so exhausted without being tired, I was so ashamed and I felt like a burden (still do). It was my last year of Uni and I managed to do the last exam (total luck I have no idea how I did it) and after that I had to start my thesis but I am still at the beginning, I went back to live at my parent's house and I've been stuck in this limbo of "I did rest enough, go on to do your things, why aren't you studying? You lost so many chances to give your thesis already, you are just leeching your family's money now, you're not good even to keep the house clean how do you think you'll be able to do your thesis?" both from my idiot brain and from my family sometimes, even if they don't see that they do it... I am going to therapy and I am trying to get myself back, the person that was able to be good at school and be a good kid and be responsible etc... but I guess I have to give it up, it probably wasn't me anyway but it was the version of me that I thought everyone wanted...
This is so me! I've kind of known for a while now, but this video really makes me wonder if my on-again, off-again challenges for the past three years is me repeatedly almost overcoming burnout, thinking everything's fine, and then going back to my old normal only to get to the point where I can't function and start to spiral emotionally/mentally. I'm really really bad at not letting myself rest and gaslighting myself into thinking that I've rested for long enough. It doesn't help that I'm really good at school and base my external identity on that. But maybe someday we can learn to be kinder to ourselves. 💙
I really resonate with what you're saying, I'm in the same situation as you with my thesis, except that I'm 30 and I'm supposed to be working by now, that puts more pressure on me. I spent the entire previous year worrying only about eating, sleeping and cleaning myself without being able to advance what I was supposed to be doing. Now I'm better but the thought that I'm useless and that I won't be able to keep up when I go out to work in the world grips me. I wish you the best and I hope you can finish your thesis, as I hope to finish mine.
@@Cherigaaru thank you! I hope that you can do it too, I'm sorry you feel like that but I totally get it... More time passes the worse it gets for me, at least thinking about "peer pressure". I mean, my sister is studying AND working and already lives in a rented house with bf+dog and she's just 22 it's so crazy idk how she can do it, and I think "maybe if she can, I can too" but that's bs because we're different people, and I also know she's exhausted and she wants to stop to have all that stuff to do, because that's not sustainable even for a NT lol I doubt any ND could do it for long periods of time without support
Great perspective! I’m autistic and this is the first time I ever heard about autistic burnout.
Morgan, I follow you on tiktok and your experience and traits seem more similar to mine than most creators I've run across. Glad you're over here, too, and just wanted to say thank you for sharing because I truly feel less alone hearing you talk about what late dx is like, and I hope you know you're not alone, either. Burnout leading to seeking help was also how I discovered I'm autistic & adhd. I relate to the guilt of letting others take over. For me it's my husband. He's wonderful and we've been married bffs for 20 years, and I think that's WHY it's so hard to let go of my independence and watch him do all my stuff. It feels very shameful, but I know that's part of internalized ableism as well. Thank you for sharing where you're at and helping others to understand and heal.
I relate to Morgan more than other creators as well. I’m glad that you at least have someone to help you but I do get that feeling of guilt of someone else doing your work because I feel like I over work myself and I hate asking for help because of that guilt that I also get. I thought I had that someone to help me but my boyfriend broke up with me and I don’t blame him because he needed someone to help him more than him helping me. I’m at the point where I’m isolating myself so much every single person I know is calling me lazy and I then think that and it feels like it becomes reality because of it. I’m autistic but nobody believes it anymore because I’m too good at masking? I don’t know why they don’t think I have it anymore I literally got a diagnosis of being autistic and they are basically now trying to undiagnose me because I’m not like the autistic little boys which is frustrating because they don’t know that there are different types of autism. I literally feel like I have no one to look up to now and it leads me to hide out in my room all alone only to get called lazy again. I also don’t eat much of anything either I actually have to force myself to eat something to stay healthy or something. I want the best for myself but it’s so hard because no one believes anything I tell them about myself like they think they know me better than I know myself it’s so frustrating and saddening I get so depressed and then I have to hide it because if I tell them I’m depressed then it feel like I’m being attention seeking or something but I only want to help myself and no one wants to help me even if they say they do want to help they make it worse and I don’t know how to tell them…
@baileyplayz1844 I hear you. I'm sorry it's so hard and that you feel alone. 😔 People want quick solutions for things, and autism is more of a long explanation that requires repeated solves. This isn't your fault and is just the reality of the neurotype. Your dx is supposed to be a tool that helps you, and it sounds like they are disregarding that which is unfair. I hope it gets better and that they will be more open to hearing you, and understanding your perspective. I am exhausted from having no one see life through my eyes and having to conform to everyone else's way of things even though it doesn't help or make sense to me. I hope you will find more connections with people in the community and that you see a light at the end of the tunnel, where you will be more in control of your environment, your schedule and the company you keep. ☺️🥰 You deserve support and validation to keep you afloat. I'm sunfishbaby on tiktok if you'd like to stay in touch!
This video hit me pretty hard... I'm definitely burnt out, though I have not yet figured out how much of that is due to my autism (though the more I look into it, the more that seems to be a huge factor). I think I'm still far enough away from a total collapse to fend that off, though that also feels like a struggle I should give up.
I love the "let go of responsibilities you want to let go of" (or however you phrased it). I know that that is something I should do, but it is definitely *not* something I want to do. Because of that there are no responsibilities I want to let go. If anything, even though I don't like to do house work, it is becoming more important that that is something I *can* do.
I hope this video reached me in time. I am in therapy, though I'm looking for a new therapist, who understands autism a lot better.
Ramble over, thank you for sharing this. I needed to hear this. 🤗
i had no idea autistic burnout was even a thing till i started following you and other autistic creators and everything you said explained a lot of what i was feeling throughout most of my life especially your brain tricking you into not resting and pushing yourself too much and i can have an tendency to push myself way too much especially when it came to when i started getting more into filming youtube content and all of last year my goal was to make sure to rest and not push myself too much and it's an goal this year to where while i wanna do this or that, sometimes i gotta remember my limits cause burnout is not an fun thing to deal with (also been feeling burned out from my job mostly cause of how long i been doing it and im looking into doing something different and thankfully everyone has been understanding about my burnout recently) anyways amazing video as always Morgan :}
I also have aspirations of publishing my message on RUclips, delayed by my low spirits.
Yeah, this has been my experience. I'm just recovering after almost a decade. From like 30 to 40.
Just finally accepting that this all might be autism. I masked really well. But during burn out I lost it all. I finally felt like I just didn't understand people and needed to stay away from all stimulation and all that.
A lot of my little quirks rose into conscious thought. Like my inability to touch certain materials without flipping out. I realize now I hid all this things. They felt like evidence I was insane.
The funny thing is I have been labeled with half a dozen mental illnesses (probably many of them falsely) because no one diagnosed me with autism.
Thanks for the videos. Hopefully getting an official diagnosis soon.
i have depression, a vaping addiction, soon to get a drug addiction, autistic, have adhd, asperger’s, possibly ocd, possibly tourette’s, suicidal, and much more.
im sooooo healthy :D
Don't worry about not having a script for the video. You did great! I understood everything perfectly and there was no chaos in it. ❤
Btw. I want to thank you for the videos you make for us! As a autistic woman, your channel is a safe space for me. I'm learning new stuff about the spectrum and I'm surprised how many people deal with similar problems as I do. Thank you again. ❤ Sending a lot of love for you! 💖
Thank you for your videos and for sharing this part of your struggle. My wife and I are autistic and have each faced burnout before in life without even knowing we were autistic. It’s so scary to not know what is wrong with you and to be facing such an uphill battle against something like autistic burnout. More people need to share their stories just like you are, because it gives us so much hope to see people like you face it and learn from it and come out on the other side
Well said! You articulated it so very well. Morgan, I am so proud of you for finding the patience for what you need in your healing. Sending you a hug 💕💕💗
When you try to add things, keep in mind that WHAT you add is about as important as HOW you do the things you add. If you do the right thing in a way that is wrong for you, then it costs disproportionate amounts of energy. Optimizing approaches is powerful.
Your video is just fine.
I am making a graphic novel on adhd and asd. Your videos help me understand what autism really is. I have adhd but hearing an autistic person talk about neurodivergence, and not google is really awesome and helpful.
Can I ask more about it? I'm studying creative writing and could have stuff that help you. I'm trying to do something similar. How are you creating the graphic novel?
@@benjaminguyer7692 I have a mentor who is a mental health professional and another who is helping me with the drawings. The project is for school so i am supplied with all the things that are needed. Im using pencils and paper to create it and i already have the storyline but thank you for your support!
Thank you so much for your video Morgan.
You made me reallize that I''ve probably been in a autistic burnout for a while now.
I had a working accident back in 2021 that left me with physical pain, physical limitations and mental struggles. After watching many videos and reading on the subject, I found out I'm probably autistic and ADHD.
I had to quit my job and have to learn computer work that I don't understand and hate My brain keeps telling me I'm stupid and i'm so frustrated and crying all the time.I feel like no one understands me and they just see me as lasy when I call in sick at school because I am so tired.
Sorry about this long message
Every words you said in your video is exactly how I feel.
I was definitely burnt out in 2021 (though I thought I had depression because of some of the issues occurring in my life), as the burnout started getting better, I thought I was good enough to go back to school. It's been a struggle and I keep having to push back my graduation. Now I'm finding out that my burnout probably never ended because I never let it fully recover. It's helpful knowing that there are other people in a similar situation. 💙
It was not all over. It was well-organized and informative. Thank you!
This video didn't feel all over the place to me. I thought it was natural and easy to follow. Thanks for another great video ! I'm currently trying to recover from autistic burnout myself, and your videos help ❤
this is a really helpful video. i really appreciate the insight. needed to hear this today. it's really nice having a fellow young autistic woman that i can really relate too in terms of autistic expeciance. i'm also getting out of the super intense autistic burnout but still a long way to go. just glad i'm not so exhaused all the time anymore. still struggling with daily tasks but at least i can handle some more things now. i find it really helpful to hear from people who know we're not just being lazy and not just anxious and depressed. i'm 23 now, diagnosed autism at 22, adhd at 21, similar to you. i really appreciate your presence online morgan
I show symptoms of autism and definitely symptoms of schizophrenia. It means a lot to me that there is a female out there that can relate to me. Please keep bringing more awareness to this and keep helping women who suffer with mental illness. I saw your video about girls with autism and it makes sense that I'm more attracted to girls with autism cuz I have autism as well lol 😅 thank you for letting us know we are not alone! I'm proud of you!
You look great! You are doing well and you will do even better! Keep strong!
Thank you so much for sharing this, Morgan! Clearly, having a job, a university project and a master's thesis to write, all at the same time, is not sustainable for me. It happened to me as well. At 26, my parents had to cook for me again for more than two months. It was, among other stuff, embarrassing for me.
you actually were very eloquent and comprehensive even without a script :)
something i noticed (or more like could put into words) after getting dx’d is how i enjoy videos made by neurodivergent people because of how they don’t just stare into the camera but keep looking around… it gives me such comfort ❤
I call it "soul crush". when I'm going through soul crush its exactly as it sounds. This video helped me so fricken much! thank you sweet pea
Omg I'm so glad you're here. I really really needed this today.
You are so fortunate to learn this stuff so early in life.
Love you and your content.
My friend is struggling with her life right now and she gets burnouts randomly and just starts crying wherever she is. Her family is really strict and she is tired mentally and physically. She says she watches your channel and it helps❤
Thanks for your video! It's very helpful they way it's structured, the risks, alerts to watch for and especially the "wait till you are fully fully recovered part" just in time to save me from a huge mistake. Thanks a lot again!
"get over your own internalised ableism before you can rest" PREACH
Oof this hit hard. I am about to return to work after 8 weeks of leave due to Autistic burnout. And I'm still tired. Because I tried to "get back to normal" too quickly. I hear you on the outsourcing of responsibilities. Coping with a late diagnosis is a long, long process. I feel like I am creating a brand new me.
Thanks for this wonderful video Morgan! I am experiencing a state of being exhausted atm. But I don't have anyone to support me.
I really have to fight through this alone.
My family is treating me so badly. They are constantly criticizing me. My mom was the one that told me about her guess that I was autistic many years ago. And still she tells me, that I am being dramatic. Recently I told her, that I am overstimulated by a situation and she answered: Autism is no excuse. We are all stimulated and you are not any more affected than all of us. She also tells me, that I am selfish and she doesn't care about me at all. She really wants me to move out. I want that too bc I can't handle that drama anymore but I am so exhausted. I am not sure if I can handle this alone.
Furthermore I don't have any friends. I was the one that tried to keep the friendships going but in the past year I had 4 friendship breakups, mainly because I was "exhausting" and one friend that I was leaning on through a hard time ( I was quitting my toxic job) left me because she couldn't handle my mental problems anymore. She kinda was like: go get help, I can't help you, let's not be friends anymore, I can't handle this.
So. If I was living in a supportive environment, I am sure, it wouldn't be that bad.
But I am not. And I don't get to go to therapy because there are no capacities.
What makes it even worse is that I really have trust issues. I have had one lesson with a therapist that didn't take me seriously, I talked to my house doctor, who didn't take me seriously, as well. And I have gone through a horrible horrible apprenticeship.
Everyone tells me, that it isn't possible that I have no one to talk with or that I have experienced so much shit.
Everyone is telling me, it must be because of me. Because I was in the victim-role and being dramatic.
I am really sorry that I used your comments space for that, I really am. But I am desperate and no one listens to me or understands me. I am so sick of pretending I was handling my life properly, because I am not.
Don't worry about a script, if you ask me. This made perfect sense. Very relatable--probably the most relatable content I've ever seen on RUclips.
I’m going through this right now and I thought I knew a lot about myself, but I didn’t realize other people had gone through literally the exact same thing as me. This is so helpful, thank you for posting this.
Luckily for me I also had a previous burnout episode where I improved a lot of things. So I am starting out a lot higher than I was last time. It’s still frustrating the amount of time it’s taking but I’m much more able to accept it than I was last time. The fact that you were able to eventually make it out is also inspiring to me.
I'm actually starting to tear up for a VERY long time I've been in autistic burnout without knowing it and this is so accurate to all of the problems I've been having and i can finally start working towards fixing it and get better now that i know the problem. Thank you so so much. A very much earned like and subscribe from me.
This is a great video, thank you Morgan. My first burnout (13 years ago) lasted about 3 years, diagnosed as depression. I changed my lifestyle drastically since my therapist said i was at breaking point. I'm just recovering from another burnout now due to a load of health issues that were just discovered in 2023, at 46yo. Klinefelter Syndrome, Cancer, Depression, and then the realisation of Autism, oh and finally Anaphylaxis from leech bites. 2023 was a very tough year. I have been so incredibly tired over the past year, and am just starting to pull myself through it now, slowly reintroducing tasks, eating better, losing the weight that I gained; generally getting back to 'my normal'.
Morgan! Thank you SO MUCH for spreading awareness on ADHD and autism!! I felt missing out and different from others for my whole life, always tired and not meeting expectations. And only because of your YT Shorts about specific traits of adhd (I am very used to the regular symptoms of my adhd such as general inattentiveness, so I am somehow masking them even from myself) I considered and got my therapist to consider such diagnosis and run EEG test. It showed adhd picture so i am now kinda diagnosed and can get proper meds! The most important thing is that I know how to help myself now. Such a relief omg
Can't thank you enough❤️
Maybe I'm not meeting the topic of the video, but I really wanted to say it 🫢
I am experiencing this but I have nobody I can lean on 😢 not one person. Plus I have to take care of my aging mother. Sometimes I hope to get a terminal illness just to be able to rest, how messed up is that
I have had those feelings too. If you have the energy for it maybe call around to autism centers in your area and see if you qualify for any services or assistance. I’m sorry you are in that position❤️❤️ we need more resources so badly 😢
Been there. Only it was the children I had to take care of. The thoughts about terminal illness were a help actually. Because it wouldn't help me accomplish my responsibilities. So it actually made me take my responsibilities slightly less seriously, remembering I had to survive to take care of them. Remembering everything would just get worse for everybody else if I didn't see to it that I survived in reasonably good condition. Take care, you're not alone in this situation
Okay! I promise to give things up! I’m at the point where I can almost not get out of bed anymore. I’m so exhausted. I’m dealing with frequent meltdowns. I have been repeatedly told to cut back and give up responsibilities. I chose some responsibilities to surrender but I couldn’t muster the courage to tell the people I had to break the responsibilities with. I know I don’t need to do so much. The only thing stopping me for at least two years is the social interaction of facing the people I have to “let down”. So I continue to suffer and it is just not rational. It is better to give up some things than end up completely dysfunctional. ❤
thx so much happy you are recovering ❤
Having someone else talk about this is so helpful. I struggle to put my thoughts and feelings into words and to explain to people and this is so beneficial. Thank you!
I literally just found your Autism communication video and it resonated with me so much, that I ran to your channel to see if you had a video about Autistic burnout, and oh, look! 🤣❤️❤️
Tysvm Morgan! I'm nearly 50, late dx Audhd, recovering from breast cancer & burn out together. The ableism struggle is MASSIVE as is the frustration of can burnout just be "done" already so i can get back to life.
Autism is so lonely, especially coming from foster care. I’ve been homeless for 4, almost 5 years. Because burnout.
I think your videos are the most cohesive videos I’ve seen! You talk the way my brain thinks! 😊❤
Oh my God I'm 43 years old and I think this is what I'm living through.
I’ve felt burned out for months, and have ignored it, and now am at a point where I struggle to get through the day and am trying so blooming hard to acknowledge it all and make adjustments. Found your vid and like how you address things, have subbed. Also yes to ‘feeling better’ for a day/two/a week then burning out again, story of the last year for me. Take care x
as an autistic person i can say ive probably experienced this. i spent a few months working at an amazon warehouse, right up until christmas... 10+ hour shifts, grueling pace, deafeningly loud equipment, surrounded by hundreds of people in a large open space with my station facing the nearest wall and my back exposed to the entire rest of the place, and just an all around horrible culture in the first place, i would be approached by multiple managers multiple times a day to be told to work faster even when i was pushing myself to work faster than most people there, near the end i started keeping a tally of my own work and figured out they were lying to me to try and get me to work harder saying i was under quota when i was nearly doubling it
you wanna speedrun a mental breakdown as an autistic person, work at amazon, theyve got ALL the triggers. lol. so yea one day i just started getting dizzy, cant be falling over next to heavy machinery so i told my boss, they sent me home, went to the doctor that day, i was physically fine, but i couldnt leave the house without feeling like i was about to pass out and/or be physically ill for months. i still have trouble sometimes years later
I've never heard anyone talk about these things the way you do. Thanks.
I've been in burnout for 6 years and this video is when I found that out. I am now worried that if I don't recover from burnout soon, I will encounter financial difficulties through being unable to get a job.
There are practical issues I have with applying the theory of autistic burnout to my case. You say that the cure for it is rest; what counts as rest? Is playing video games rest? Am I resting when I am watching television or reading a novel? What about things that are physically but not mentally taxing, such as working out at the gym?
@@mmm365 : That's vague.
Thank you for this video. Just what I needed now. I was only diagnosed 4 months ago and I now realise I experienced autistic burnout many times during my 51 years on earth..maybe from the age of 27. The worst was when I basically spent a whole year in bed. I could only manage to brush my teeth in the morning and I had to cook for my partner. I was so afraid he would think I was just being lazy if I didn’t. It did get better with therapy as you suggested…and meds for depression. It has come back a few times, but it always gets better.
I was at the brink of burnout this winter, when winter lethargy set in. It was not so much of actually doing too much, but more of trying hard doing things that my brain was not ready to do. This can be really draining, even if outsiders don't see something happening. And it is especially draining as you don't get forward with your work.
For me, it has helped a lot having a student at my side to whom I can talk about my work, eventually teaching them about what I do.
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story.
"my brain is not nice but that's what therapy is for"❤😂 Real.
The video was perfectly articulated, I like the no script style
Thank you for your honest words. I am in a autistic burnout right now. It started some months before, but I didn't want to see it, I guess. Now I can't work and I have to change some things in my business (I am a freelancer).
But therapy wouldn't make sense for me. I couldn't go there because I don't drive and I can't manage going with public transportation (too loud, too much people, too much stress to have appointments). And I live in a small village, here is no therapist who knows a lot about AuDHD). And I already know what I have to do to get better.
But thanks a lot for your supporting video.❤
I'm so grateful for your videos. Thank you so much Morgan 🥰
Hello one of the first people here! I love your videos thanks for making this❤
Thank you!!!!🥰
Your welcomee🩷🩶🤍
Wow this hits close to home, someone I knew lived through that. And the worst part is I think the mental suffering we inflict upon ourselves through internalized judgement is even more damaging than the initial limitation =/
Working hard to rest……perspective is everything. 💕
Wow I can relate to every word you’re saying, it’s crazy. I’m 23/F diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I got to a point in high school where I couldn’t even get myself to go into the building anymore from the anxiety, so had to do online from that point on. Then a few years later, one of my customer service jobs sent me into a mental health spiral where I ended up quitting and then basically sat around my house for the next 2 years. It got to the point where I was too anxious to drive anymore which sucked, and only made me isolate myself more. I’ve gotten to a better point now luckily, I’m in college but still struggling with coming off as awkward in person. I’ve never really considered that I could be autistic, but at the same time I’ve been relating to pretty much every video/short I’ve seen of yours so now idk what to do 😅
I hit "regular burnout" 2 years ago, was on sick leave for 2 years tried to work again and again and am now in a way worse state. I only recently realized that maybe that autism diagnosis I got at age 15 wasn't as out of left field as everyone kept telling me. A terrible therapist that I was involuntarily switched to dismissed my diagnosis and said I am a master manipulator and managed to trick everyone into thinking I was autistic cause Im "too normal". I basically ran on a broken leg for 6 years now and Im paying the price HEAVILY. Im not in the process of getting disability acommodations so I can continue working a normal job and be financially independent, but it's a mess. I am not even able to clean my apartment or just BE. My skin and nervous system feel like they're on fire and freezing at the same time, my body is doing all sorts of weird shit and I just cant deal. Your videos at least make me feel less alone, because nobody in my life currently knows anything about autism and still doesnt fully believe I have it
I am going through it with the nice addition of administration making my life extra complicated and taking it the few resources I have (or don’t) which is preventing me getting better.
I am crying hearing how long recovery takes. I have been at home for 1 week because I just couldn't take it anymore at work but I have to go back tomorrow. + I already feel like I am doing the least since I live with my parents and they take care of everything
Hey Morgan! Could you do a video on different things/activities you did and now still implement in your life to not get burnt out? Ik its different for everyone but it would be helpful to have ideas! Thanks!
you said everything perfectly clearly it wasn't all over the place! idk if that's bcus im autistic myself but especially as an inattentive adhder who often has issues following what ppl are saying i caught exactly what you said! and also this reminds me of trauma in the sense of causing exhaustion and that it takes a long time to heal from
Thank you, you are doing good things by sharing this for other people to see :)
after watching this video and wondering what was happening to me, and finding out about autistic burnout I think I know what was/is happening to me. to help me rest I had to give up my weekend job with my dad and not have a job for a while, that helped me significantly, while I'm definitely not out of autistic burnout, I am starting to know what to do to help myself and take care of myself.
thank you so much for the video, it helped me a lot.
Good for you, taking rest when you need it!😊❤️
The typical world breaks us. We must find a way to live so we can thrive.
I don't have a diagnosis but my therapist and I are pretty sure I'm in autistic burnout, and have experienced it multiple times because I've been put into a caretaker role my entire life, willingly or otherwise. I hate that you have to work so hard to not work so hard.
I love your videos, I have been researching and watching others who talk about autism and I love your channel the most, the way you teach and describe things really helps me to understand it ❤️
I havent' finished the video yet (now at 3:15), but just an FYI: burn out sounds a lot like what you're describing. People who say "I sometimes get a little burn out as well" do not know what burn out is. Actual burn out is just as debilitating as what you are describing for autistic burnout.
I have depended on other people all my life without realizing it or thinking about it. Been in 2 different relationships that covered 20 years of my life from 19 to 39. By 40 I had moved out into my very own first place with my 3 kids from my last relationship. I was suddenly thrown into a completely different world with 3 kids I was responsible for all by MYSELF. I hadn't realized how much support I had with their father or how much I depended on the routine of it all. After 3 months of being on my own I started losing the ability to function. I was getting ANGRY over noises, fast movement, lights. Having meltdowns and yelling for no reason. Forgetting everything. Crying constantly. Couldn't talk to people anymore cause I either forgot simple words I knew or I couldn't get my thoughts out into words so I would get angry and walk off. Then I started stemming constantly. Especially when I was upset. I literally thought I was going crazy. I went to a therapist and they were no help. They said it was depression but I've felt depression and this.. isn't it. This is way worse. It's not the same. It's like I'm not me. I'm more aware that I'm not me and I can't do anything and don't know why but I hate it cause I have kids and they don't understand. I did research for a year that lead to me self diagnosing as Autistic. Then I noticed my 7 year old was just like me. So a year later and more research I got us assessed and I have been diagnosed with Autism and my daughter with Autism and Adhd. It's been 2 years since I went in burnout and still in it. So thank you for this video cause I was beginning to think I'm going to live the rest of my life like this and I can't imagine that. I'm so exhausted from everything I can't even get up to eat. It takes every bit of energy to get up and get my kids ready for school without getting angry. They deserve a better mom and I hate that I am this person for them
It’s great you can share your experiences. I wish you success with your recovery. It does sound very difficult and challenging, so you deserve credit for what you have done so far. Also, I have to admit I was distracted (an easy thing for me) by your paint samples in the background. I find choosing the right paint color to be a very difficult task (which explains why all of my walls are beige). 🙂
I think it's very important that you mentioned that you can literally just be sitting on the couch and still not be resting because that in particular is something that someone from the outside looking in will never even consider as a possibility but it's something that happens a lot, especially if you have autism and anxiety or autism and ADHD.
This encouragement is very relevant to/for me right now, although I have been spiraling for years into despair with no apparent means by which I could obtain agency over the material causes of my burnout/chronic depression, which makes any expectation of regaining my Joi de Vivre seem unreasonable, I hold out hope because I have been so lucky in the past.
just my thoughts before watching!
I have a pretty strong feeling i have autism. At first i thought i was just shy my whole entire life (besides 3 year in elementry when i was actually able to play with people)
But when i saw your videos i related to so much. I did so much research too and now too i realise i hit autistic burnout this year. I went to a new school and a new study where everything got serious and also pretty overwhelming sometimes. Until 1 day i started getting sick(was from stress but wouldnt go away). This lasted the entire year until i left the study.
This is so recognizable
Rest taking years... I recognize it so bad
Very helpful, thank you. Sometime could you do a video that focuses on the "how to rest" issue? It's so hard!
"I've rested! I've done it. Can I be done now?"
This.
thank you. I do still feel somewhat lost. I have been in probably autistic burnout since 2017 (or lets say, that's when i couldn't handle anything anymore without so much effort that it felt like it's breaking me) I feel like I have been completely shattered since then, constantly trying to pick up the pieces and have been trying so many things to figure out whats going on, why it's happening etc. including 3 years of therapy. It's only since about 2 years ago when it was suggested that I might have adhd and/or autism. (I even suspected autism before but my therapist had shot it down without explanation).
I also have been waiting for the official evaluation for almost 2 years now :( queue is long...but have been doing a ton of research myself and am quite certain that I'm dealing with both and that it's the reason why my whole life I felt like I could not do what everyone else was doing, it felt horrible, I felt helpless (still do in some aspects), like everyone else seemed to just go "do life" and I was constantly struggling especially with simple things like chores, work...socializing....
it's less than 2 years that I started accommodating myself and learning so much...reframing my life and everything and it has been hard...and frustrating because I had to reduce my responsibilities so much, ask for so much help and I don't have family who can help with that, so I'm relying alot on social services and similar...but I'm craving so much to be able to do what I want to do...but even the things I want to do that should be enjoyable are really hard for me to do :/ it is indeed very depressing....and due to circumstances I have been more or less forced into work and school situations which burned me out even more....it's hard to even try to stand up for myself towards unemployment office workers etc. because the truth is, that I think I know, that I won't be able to work for as long as I can't even do simple chores at home, when everything even the things I enjoy are making me suffer. I very much feel disabled and I have no idea if I can actually get out of this or if my needed lifestyle changes are going to be permanent in the sense that I won't be able to do more than what I can do now.
It hurts. Even more so knowing, that this could have been maybe been prevented if someone would have taken my problems seriously.
But...this video does give me a bit hope, that maybe there is a way to continue and get better.
Could you maybe give some examples on what kind of things you introduced slowly? aka like which type of task you would introduce for a week or longer, would it be something for every day or something to do once a week...which level of complexity would it have? how big the goal?
You’re an awesome person. 👏🏼 Thanks for sharing your knowledge and experience with us!
Thank you for another wonderful helpful video
Thank you again for your helpful content.
Glad you are feeling better.❤
Good to hear you're doing better. Good that you found enough time and have gotten back to life.
Knowing what's sustainable has been a lifelong mystery to me, so if you manage to get there ... if you enter the league of zen masters like David Lynch who spend their lives only doing the things they're comfortable doing ... then I salute you, Morgan.
As for a threshold? a maximum # of responsibilities? Maybe laziness is a virtue if it means standing a safe distance from the maximum, because the world has a nasty habit of adding unexpected problems. It becomes more than the maximum before the maximum is even reached. It's angering and depressing and, for anyone trying to be responsible, it's inevitable.
Society's gaslighters make this worse by expecting you to have the benefit of experience with solving problems because you're a certain degree older. I call bull on this. Age doesn't equate to experience. People can in fact deteriorate and lose skills when burning out or living a trauma. "I saw you do it last year" is the battle cry of apathy. They don't empathize.
The two things you suggest (changing the little things & relying on other people) are good advice. They are also the two things the human brain always targets with guilt and other feelings. Knowing that is half the battle, but I can't imagine being as trapped as you were for that long in a cycle of boredom with recovering. (Years?? oy vey.)
By the way: no worries. You didn't babble, I found this very easy to follow. I think you give such valuable encouragement, like the part about things getting better. They do.
I’m so happy you got out of burnout and fighting the negative self talk of hey you’re lazy because you know in the long run you have to stop. It’s good that you’re slowly easing you’re self back to your normal schedule, I know you’ll meet your threshold even if it changes, as long as you don’t stop ❤️ Off topic I’m sorry but could you make a video on RSD? Thanks 🩷
I've given some of the responsibility of doing the vacuuming to a robovac. It can't get everything and I have to remember to empty the dust bin every week, but at least the floor doesn't feel gritty all the time. Best $300 I've ever spent.
I've been pushing through this burnout state for the past 15 years, and it got to the point where it ruined my health, and I got an awful autoimmune disease, and it makes it really hard for me to work. And just recently I had to take even more responsibilities, and double the workload, because my mom doesn't understand me at all, and just keeps sabotaging me, and I decided that it's better to do everything myself, than rely on her. I already know it's not going to end well... 😕
Oh dear, yea, that isn't a fun ride. I am struggling right now with burnout, I am starting to do chores again and taking care of myself. On top of that I need to get a job again. Had quit due to how tired I felt constantly. I am trying to allow myself feel too. Been trying to avoid the responsibilities of dealing with myself. x.x
I felt so irritated to go out to eat, a baby started crying and even with my (not noise cancelling) earphones dampening the noise I started to cry because my head started to hurt. ;-;