Ask yourself what it is--broadly speaking--that attracted you to that special interest in the first place and then try to translate that onto some other topic. I.e., maybe your special interest in dinosaurs really stems from the desire to understand the functioning of biological systems; so, as a result of the trauma you experienced from all the bullying because you're a giant nerd, you decide to translate that interest in biological systems into studying medicine and becoming a doctor.
I'm like that. My brain fog (and ADHD) are so intense in burnout I can't remember a thing and I can't form the complex thoughts or hold information/remember things - so my special interests have become another thing I can no longer engage in with the same vigor or even cognizance. Therefore another thing I love and I'm letting down - another thing I'm neglecting. And the anxiety hamster gets fed again and keeps on running.
personally I just find a new interest. I accept the fact that I am a jack of all trades and king of none. A wise man once said "When you reach the last page, close the book."
@@froodoftheforest this is same for me. it's an incredibly painful cycle because I have nothing meaningful or enjoyable i can do to relax. i am paralysed.
Very difficult to take time out when you're in a job where sick leave is frowned on even if there is a doctor's note. Risk of getting a disciplinary followed by dismissal. Makes life almost impossible.
This. So much this. I dealt with a job like this and only ended up borderline suicidal by the time I quit. And it wouldn't be such a problem if nearly every single job weren't this way. We really need to something about this. I don't know how though. :(
I can’t relate to this exactly but I’m a stay at home mom and we can’t afford daycare…this age she is at is causing severe burnout and I cannot get through the week anymore without help. I feel like a huge failure and completely trapped. It feels “impossible” exactly as you say. I’m so sorry for your struggle.
Yes so I just ended up on disability instead because I can’t handle being self employed and I couldn’t find a job that was flexible enough but still paid enough to live off of .. this life 😣
I was furloughed in March 2020. It took awhile for me to adjust to that. My dog died 3 weeks later. It took me awhile to adjust to that. > A year later, I began to realize I’ve been on auto run - my entire life ! > I’m not going back to that madness ., I’m going to enjoy my life from now on. But first, I will relax & pay attention to doing stuff bc it energizes me 💁🏻♀️💚✨
Right there with you. As he mentioned doing the things which give energy, I found myself drawing an immediate blank trying to think of any. Then suddenly I realized the video had ended a while ago and I hadn't even noticed. Gonna hafta watch it again.
Thank you for making this. I’m in burnout right now, my first one since discovering my autism. It’s nice having a name and an explanation for these cycles of hyperproductivity and crashing. Now I feel like I can better learn to pace my energy so that my burnouts don’t hit as hard.
Thank you, Paul. Using up those spoons pretty quickly, eh? I’m 63 yr old American female who retired in spring of 2020 due to a combination of longstanding ASD burnout, and also a case of Covid that outlasted the medical leave my workplace would allow. I still feel burned out, and unfortunately, sense that I won’t improve soon. I rest, and do things that I think are therapeutic for me. I’m glad not to be working.
Paul, i am so proud of you...Because you are learning to be modest (accept that you are only human and have limitations just like neurotypicals like me)...I know it is hard...I totally relate to your experience...Enjoy your time off without the guilt...Your health is of utmost importance ☺
Good on you Paul for taking a break 🙂 Honestly, hard relate to pretty much every point you said. The 'I always need longer than what I optimistically need' + 'an afternoon / day / or even 4 days won't do it' especially - I'm soooo bad for trying to have the shortest possible break I think I "should" have and then having to let ppl down a second time because it's done absolute jack for me. Thank you for making videos about your experience with this - the people around me don't get it at all, and while it sucks, there's a certain kind of pressure that's relieved by seeing your experiences in someone else. Cheers mate and hope you start to rebound soon.
I’m so lucky to have found your vids . I have exactly the same symptoms dealing with burnt out episodes ! Been dealing with these bouts of feeling totally wipe out a good part of my life... With the need of long periods of rest until I’m able to recuperate again....however it’s an on going condition ! Best to you. 🙏🏼 Bob.
When I get to that point, especially with work (which I dislike intensely; looking for a mid-life career change), I start taking "mental health" days off. Usually it's just a half-day in the morning, so I can get some extra sleep. My wife and I just celebrated our 28th anniversary, so I took a 4-day weekend, Friday thru Monday off. It worked great. We went away for a night, I relaxed, got some writing done, and just overall cleared my head and didn't push. I got enough little stuff done around the house to feel useful. I understand the variation on time off needed. Usually I just need a half a day or a day, but sometimes it takes multiples to really clear out the junk (stress and anxiety) to really reset yourself properly.
I avoid people at times like a "troll". Not a mean one necessarily, but I "hermit". I hyper process things and look for too many paths to "win the goal", thus over working my mind on how to make top ramen. Other times I might not give enough attention to something critical and I have to "catch a clue" and jump back into work over something I might not want to do. I understand.
Well this video is fantastic. I'm 29 years old and somehow I have only just heard of this concept even though I have been clearly suffering from it for years. Thanks for posting and as a fellow Melbournian, lockdown sucks!
Burned out since 2018. It did get a bit better. I can do a few hours sometimes, compared to not even 10 minutes a day in the beginning. I'm at a plateau though, so I don't know how to progress from here 🤔
Interesting topic with many potential facets. Coming to understand my autism late in life, I learned to compensate early on in ways that did help but also were very costly. Always struggling with the sense of not being good enough, I over compensated by putting in intense amounts of effort into my work so that what I accomplished was undeniably excellent. It worked. The works I have achieved over the years have earned me a high degree of respect from my clients and peers and it has given me something tangible to hang my self esteem on. It's also too costly in terms of energy to maintain. I still never feel good enough. After 45 years of over compensation, I can hardly keep up the effort. It's burnout that verges on breakdown.
Listen to yourself. I didn't, because of denial, suppression and myriad other reasons that were too "important" to allow myself to slow down. I burned out in my 50's, with tragic results. Like you, I had worked for decades to become a master of my craft. I've only recently looked into what it means to be autistic. I had suspected I was for most of my life, and had/have several family members on the spectrum. I didn't know that there were ways of accommodating myself that could have avoided or moderated the catastrophic burnout I experienced. I've been educating myself over the last 2 1/2 years, and have recently been taking steps to begin working again. I still don't have a formal diagnosis, but have been as thorough as I could be to self assess. Along the way Paul's videos, along with Samdy Sam, Purple Ella and others have been very helpful... transformative actually. I worked one day last week in another atelier, and slept the entire following day. I allowed myself to feel my feelings and rest, instead of hating myself. Something I NEVER would have considered years ago, but I should have. I think it's tremendously valuable to share your thoughts and feelings. It's a comfort to know that I am not unique. Thanks, and please don't wait until your mind and body decide to force you to slow down or take a break. You've earned it. And... thank you Paul, for everything.
Only 25, but the thought pattern you describe/detail is so familiar! I've always called myself a perfectionist, but that also in turn makes everything take even longer - anyway, wanted to share that I can relate, as being able to relate to your post gave me relief. :)
@@jonmars9559 Remarkably similar from the sounds of it! I'm working on the CPTSD side of it as well. I've had therapists (briefly) who attributed everything to trauma, but the deeper I dug the more I recognized the ASD from earliest memories. I think ASD made me susceptible (or vulnerable), especially when I was younger. I've found that Buddhism (Buddhist study of how our minds work) and Gabor Mate (also on RUclips) have helped immensely. But I still can't quite separate one from the other. I find that certain situations trigger both a trauma AND autistic response. Or... I respond to trauma triggers autistically. If that makes any sense. I know that feeling of being dragged through life utterly bewildered, but understanding has lessened that. I'm still learning to identify when something is "off", and take steps to prevent free-fall. Good luck on your journey as well!
@@dlesliejones It seems like we are of a similar generation with similar circumstances. You've got to do what you've got to do to survive. I grew up initially in Southern California and the schools there were a free for all. Put an ASD kid in that situation, someone sensitive, self isolating and without the innate ability to make friends and trauma is sure to follow. It felt like I was being thrown into a cage with roaming packs of wild animals on the hunt for easy prey. Until I learned to fight back, there was never a moments peace and school faculty were almost as bad as the bullies. Home life was not much better. Fast forward to adult life and trauma is essentially integral with the ASD. Paul did an excellent video on autism and trauma and how they overlap. I think it is hard not to be traumatized on some level when growing up Aspie. The Crappy Childhood Fairy offers some exercises that seem to help take some of the charge out of CPTSD triggers. Other kinds of "disorders" can pile on us Aspies as well. At least today these things are better understood and diagnosed earlier. I get a kick out of kids claiming they were late diagnosed in their late teens. I guess it's all relative.
true but hopefully the family grows up and become more independent and they can all help each other (considering at least some of them might have similar needs!)
@@alchemyofcolorandstyle Yeah. “The family” is the problem… 🙄 No. YOU are the problem. Literally the most important aspect of family is support, communication, and affection. How do you think they cope when they have an autistic family member who ignores them and shuts down on them for days and weeks? Most humans can easily be traumatized by this form of treatment from a supposed loved one
@@alchemyofcolorandstyle No. I am commenting directly to you and your saying the family should “grow up” and be more “independent.” It was a ridiculous thing for you to say.
I am in Autistic burnout right now. It's a pretty intense one. It's not my first one. What you say is so important. We have to be able to say no and not just postpone things but basically take them off our plates and gradually and carefully reintroduce the things that help us. Because even the things that help us can knock us back down if we do too much
As a health worker with ASD I've had to come to peace with having to reschedule clients from time to time. I have built into my schedule a week off every 6, and then two weeks every 12 to be able to pace myself. When I relax on that mechanism, burnout is a real thing. But this way I can give myself what I need and be at my best to serve my clients 💖 win win.
@@natalyahatchman2952 ya gotta work it for your own sanity! My son also has special needs. It's not easy but we are strong and resilient at the very least! How are you doing with covid stressors Natalya?
@Grey Muldoon you can absolutely do it! It took a lot of self healing and inner work to understand myself , along with developing a great comprehensive toolkit of management strategies, but it is worth it! I teach these things to others now too. 😌
I'm 2 years in to burnout, I quit my last job 2 weeks ago after spending the time saving every cent I could to be able to stop. I have zero safety net and zero abilities right now. My brain couldn't get around how to make a sandwich yesterday so I just went without food until 8pm when why body screamed so loud I couldn't ignore it anymore. Waiting for some family stress to quieten so I hopefully will stop the exhausted buzzing in my nervous system will quieten and I can get through this thing. I just have to eat enough good food (when I can remember - ADHD and a zillion other things), sleep and requiring nothing of myself until I have enough energy to start doing the restorative things. This burnout thing is a Sisyphean feat. And we're supposed to live in an NT world as adults with zero support. Edit: If you are experiencing burnout and would like to share, please do so below, just reading all your stories makes me feel way less alone and like my tribe is out there, fighting with me. Thanks guys.
I'm on my third year of burn out. (Six if you count when I started to feel it coming) I leave the house only when absolutely necessary, shower once a month, have stopped doing laundry, and have been subsisting on animal crackers and Ensure for the past month and a half. Every time I complete a task in one day (such as paying one bill online or making one phone call), I need another 4 days to work up the energy to do another task. I marvel at the things I used to do. I have no idea how I was ever able to accomplish anything. A load of clean dishes is cause for a fucking celebration. I wonder when I'll become human again. Yes, burn out is real. I'm beginning to wonder if mine is permanent. This guy says 2 weeks. I say hmphf!
Yes this 😞 me to I’m sorry I’m almost a year into what I now know is a burn out. 2 of my 3 kids start school in a few weeks I am devastated they won’t be home with me any longer but I am hoping to use that time with only one little to recharge a bit during the day.
Thank you I’ve been in a major burnout for several months due to things in my life currently I cannot rest as much as I need. This burnout actually led to finally figuring out why I’ve struggled my whole life with a stack of Mis diagnosis’. Now we know I’ve been going through a intense autistic burnout so it’s actually a blessing I’ve been fighting with doctors and therapist for years that they weren’t seeing what was actually wrong. The meds the therapies nothing worked and all my issues remained. I have to find out what gives me energy that’s my goal now.
I'm sitting here reflecting on what burn out means to me. One and a half years since my breakdown, and then more recently an adult diagnos. The biggest problem for me, aside from the physical health problems (which seem to be getting better) and economic difficulties (which are getting worse by the day), is that I am just now beginning to realise that it's all gone. My dream job is over, the financial security is gone, that little house in the countryside will never be. That's my reality and it makes me so very sad. 50 years I've been fooling myself that I'll amount to something and it's only just now I'm realising I've run out of time.
Been there. It can get better but the processing issues in our brains are always lurking, waiting for the stress to achieve critical mass so it can strike again. Money and technology are often beyond our control so they can create mega stress.
Yes I can really relate, and I'm sorry for you. I'm 61, totally burnt out, living on disability benefits. I won't work again. I can't do what is expected of me any more.
I think I’ve been going through cycles of burnout throughout 34 years and just blaming myself for being immature and self centered, like some unhelpful family members have tended to tell me I am.. I just keep going through your videos this week and it’s really helping me see from a new, much healthier perspective. There was always a feeling that I was chasing that said there’s something I really need to learn to explain this difficult pattern of burnout in my life ever since a young kid.
My husband is about to turn 50 years old. He is this absolute treasure of a human being but he has been in burnout for 4 years at least. This is what lead him to do a number of assessments and begin following your channel. He hasn't been able to get an official diagnosis but we know we is Autistic. He is an engineer and works full-time, right now he is the breadwinner for the family as I am caring for our 5 kids full-time. At this point, we know his lifestyle needs to completely change because his quality of life is so low. He wants to connect with his family and can't due to burnout. We are in the process of determining what is needed for a real reset for him. We very much appreciate your videos as they have given us both such great understanding and insight. Thanks!
We had a similar issue in my family. I also can’t work at all because I’m disabled. My husband had to leave his really good paying job for one that was less stressful for him. Now we’re living on a teacher’s salary with a family of six. We have to be more careful with finances, but he’s doing so much better.
@@julienfroidevaux1143 I am pretty sure if every partner I had wrote about their experiences with me, folks would wonder why anyone would want to be with me too. My husband being autistic isn't the "problem" because he has to deal with a non-asd world 24/7 and no one is saying "man, who would ever want to marry a neurotypical". The issue is, we are programmed to look at the way he interacts and say "You're wrong, change." The burden to change is placed soley on the autistic's shoulders to bear and after 40+ years of trying to adjust, burnout happens. Before I met my husband, I thought I loved people - then, I watched how he loves others everyday without us realizing it. He strives to understand others and is patient when they misjudge him. He continues to step back into relationship with a world of people that have hurt him over a lifetime because he knows they just lack understanding. I am a better person because I married an autistic.
@@sllozier Well I'm happy it's working out , when I keep reading online how horrible we are it makes me stay well away from the opposite sex . Even though in theory I kinda off like the idea ....
I've found that I need to figure out what I wanted to invest my energy in to, and sometimes I'm blind to my own exhaustion. I'll go without eating or drinking, because I'm so focused on work. Take time for yourself, and learn how to use your energy more wisely.
Setting alarms on your phone as a reminder to eat or drink could help. I have very poor interoception and hardly ever notice when I'm hungry or need to drink - especially when I'm super focused on something for literally hours, so that helps me but I need a second alarm for a few minutes after the first one because otherwise I have already forgotten about what I'm supposed to be doing...
Just learned im autistic over the past few weeks. I've owned 3 businesses. Each business I start then sell after 3 years. Never understood the timing, but it was becoming a pattern. My most recent business was the largest endeavor though, and it required 6 years to make it profitable enough to sell. The final year, I was really getting depressed and had zero motivation. Looking back now, my masks were falling away when dealing with people. I was being more honest about what I expected, how I felt, and less patient with dealing with people and partaking in small talk. I was becoming lazy and by extension supremely guilty. The sale went through early this year, about 6 months ago. I'm essentially retired now and have the time to work on my physical and mental health. Lo and behold, I am in the middle of an autistic burnout. It never made sense to me before that I could become so useless after a lifetime of overachieving and workaholism. These videos are incredibly helpful in helping me understand why I've felt so much different from everyone else my whole life.
@@davydejong2788 yeah I am. I got on LDN a few months ago. Forgot to take it 3 days in a row without realizing and I went right back to overstimulated and anxious. This stuff really seems to help me. Also, I got into a health food/gut microbiome/calisthenics/running kick for about 6 months. I slowed down now, but I am feeling more like myself. It's great to understand why I think differently than everyone else I meet. Also allows me more patience with myself; I've stopped a few meltdowns already by recognizing the patterns and seemingly runaway emotions. So yes, definitely better. And I've had a few spurts of super motivation again. But they come and go still, so I'm trying to accept and properly utilize the "lazy" parts in between.
Damn man this really resonates with me. I’ve also started a multiple companies and I’m going through similar cycles. I’m on one now. Three years after starting this company and I’m feeling very overwhelmed. Feeling fatigued. But I have to push on because I’m in the middle of the race, you know?
I was incredibly burnt out and then did a full month internship which took 3000 times the spoons I had. I don’t know how I managed it but it put me so deep into burnout. It’s now been several months since with a week or two off here and there and I feel sure I will never recover. I am beyond miserable and there’s no end in sight.
@@Deadsea_1993 Thanks for asking! I'm doing pretty well now! I'm a teacher so the rhythm of having the summers to reset has been great. And the school I'm teaching at has a lot of neurodivergent students and teachers which helps a lot!
I literally need this right now. I can feel the energy need increasing for each subsequent conversation I have with someone. I want to just turn off my brain but I can't stop concentrating and it's exhausting
Paul, you have mentioned before that you workout regularly, and I was wondering how exercise affects autism. And is there a time when exercise might be a solution for burnout or stress? What are your thoughts on the impact of an exercise regimen for autistic people?
I don't know if I will ever recoup that lost energy. I have been hanging on and stealing time where I can to the point I'm drained. I worry about my health. I don't know if I am autistic but I can't make myself do things even if it benefits me.
Does anyone else here suffer from a sleep disorder? I'm wondering how autism and burnout and sleep are related. (I wonder if my sleep disorder is causing my burnout or if my autism is affecting my sleep) I have no circadian rhythm. None. At all. My body does what it wants in regards to sleep, and I have no control. I've lost jobs because of it. I've let people down, no-showed appointments, missed flights, missed exams, missed holidays, lost friends, estranged family members who "just think I'm lazy", befuddled doctors, and no one will help me. (Or maybe no one knows how) There is no "typical day" for me. It's a grab-bag. Monday I may be asleep the entire 24 hours. Tuesday I may get up at 8am, work one hour, and go back to bed exhausted, only to be wide awake again at 11:30pm Tues night. From then, I may not be able to sleep again until Thursday afternoon. Then I'll sleep through the weekend and be wide awake from 4am Monday morning to midnight the next Wednesday! I have slept for 40 hrs straight. I have been awake for 76 hours straight. I have days where I get up, do a task and then take a 2hr nap. Then get up again for another hour or two, then take a 3hr nap, then up for 4hrs, down for 1.5, up for 2, down for 3, like a yoyo. I've tried to find a pattern, but there is none. I've also tried regular exercise. It keeps me up at night. I've tried blue light blocking. Doesn't make a difference. Not even Ambien and codeine can put me to sleep if my body doesn't feel like it. I've tried sunrise light therapy, med changes, diet changes, cut out caffeine, melatonin supplements, tried set schedule regular 9-5 jobs(fail), then tried weekend and part-time jobs, working night hours only (fail), black out curtains, white noise machines, warm milk, lowering the thermostat, military precision wake/rise regulation, showering at night, showering in the morning, warm baths, coffee and energy drinks, exercise first thing in the a.m., yoga, meditation, massage, acupuncture, Chinese herbal medicine, reiki, deep breathing, subliminal relaxation tapes, marijuana, alcohol, cognitive behavioral therapy, stopping all my medication, tried hormone therapy, chiropractic, CBD, aromatherapy, keeping my pets out of the bedroom, earplugs, heating pads, letting my pets sleep with me, cooling pillows, raising my head, raising my feet, bedtime rituals, smudging my bedroom with sage, healing crystals, banning electronics from the bedroom, using bed only for sleep, chamomile tea, reading a book, or masturbation before bed, sleeping in soft pajamas, a C-pap machine, sleeping naked, abstaining from sex and masturbation completely, quitting smoking, dehumidifier, not keeping a clock in the bedroom, humidifier, setting 2 back up alarms, having people call me to wake me up, changing mattresses, changing beds, moving to different homes, prayer, etc... Short of an exorcism, or a peyote sweat lodge journey, I have literally tried everything. Anyway, sorry to ramble, but I wanted to cover my bases. I know people in the comments love to help and support each other and offer advice, and I didn't want to just respond to everyone with "Already tried it". But if anyone can offer me any insight to this very real physical handicap I'm struggling with, I would be receptive. I've had this sleep disorder since birth. My mom says that I was the opposite of most babies- I was wide awake for about 18hrs of the day, then down for six. I had insomnia in my grade school years. Mom would burst in mornings with a squirt gun and spray me with water to get me up on time. I managed through high school by filling every minute of every day with activities an responsibilities and projects with friends. I would go to school early for breakfast and scholastic bowl practice, then use my lunch to edit the school newspaper. After school I had choir practice and cross-country and track to train for. Then I'd go meet the kid I was tutoring for a lesson, or meet the homecoming planning committee to decorate, or meet with project partners for class work. Then I'd go home and eat leftovers from dinner while finishing the rest of my homework. After all that *sometimes* sleep would come, but I needed much more than 8hrs. The weekends were filled with tournaments, performances, auditions for school play, track meets, and travel. My dad used to say they need to put 12 more hours in a day for me. In college I was away from my support group and just flailed through, of course getting excellent grades, but missing most morning classes. I graduated with honors, though, because when I was awake, I was high-energy Super productive. I believe the burn out started for me as I got older and the exotic non-traditional jobs dissappeared along with my bursts of energy and motivation. But the sleep problem remains. I can't hold down a 9-5 job or even an 11-8am job now. So I am an outside language contractor for all central Illinois clinics and hospitals and I'm on call 24/7. That odd schedule sometimes manages to match up with mine, but this is what I'm suspecting led to my burnout. This is the NUMBER ONE problem in my life that keeps me from achieving all I want and need to do. But- is it a *symptom* of aspergers, or do I have aspergers *because of it*? And secondly, is my years-long burn out I've been going through caused by sleep deprivation, or aspergers, or is it just severe depression? Paul, I know you're busy, but I'd love to hear what you think, as well as anyone else on here who has expertise or a similar story! Thanks in advance, fam!!!🤗
I have a similar issue except that I've never enjoyed the energy you had in your youth. The most energy I ever feel is when I lay down to sleep. If I push to stay awake during the day, at times when I'm hit by a wave of exhaustion, it's just a recipe for deeper burnout. Sorry, I have no answers
I cannot help you, but thank you for your story. I cannonly ask if you have ever tried Wim Hof Method? It is not for sleeping problems but sometimes may regulate the hormons and bring more energy and calm down (it does it for me - I sleep far better after cold shower). I am so sorry yoir life looks like that - my days are also a kind of a grab-bag because of an invisible illness... one day I'm energetic and another I'm just OFF. I wish you the very best.
I haven't been diagnosed with anything, but I stumbled across your channel, and I can relate to every one of your video's. I had a normal childhood but once I hit my teenage years I turned into a commpletely different person and always felt something deep inside was very different than other people, always felt like some kind of alien or something. Im 26 now and learned to cope... well fake is a better word and pretend to act normal its a mental drain everyday, it doesn;t help I had a stroke when I was 20 just adds to everything. I haven't had energy in 10 years
I am just figuring out that I am on the autistic spectrum and I am in burnout for a while, but couldn't find the right words. Finding your video is the first time in a while that I feel like something applies to my struggles and I just cried bc maybe I am not "broken", maybe I just work different. Thank you so much for your honesty!
Hi Paul, it's good you took time off, apparently youtubers often have trouble justifying taking breaks to themselves, but I really don't think anyone in this community would want you to create content when you're exhausted. The thing you said about finding it harder to deal with lights and noises when you're burnt out - I've noticed that in myself, too! Everything that takes energy away from me - conversations, light and sound, lack of sleep - it all runs on the same battery.
For me when low on energy, it feels like everything is even more expensive than usual. It's like always when I'm going to do something, I have to pay mental energy taxes to my senses (+ masking) instead of automatic contribution from a reserve. In the past there was a period of time when it was easy to focus only on that main "something" to do without distractions, but that reserve always deplete after some time, +/- a couple of years.
I can relate to this a lot considering I've spent most of this year recovering from burnout. I still dread having to cancel appointments and always feel a degree of guilt for doing so yet I know that sometimes it's necessary in order to prioritise self care and rest. Thankfully most professionals are very understanding and shouldn't have a problem with you needing to reschedule appointments. I've been learning to do what's best for me and not feel bad about needing to take a break.
Hi Michael, sorry to hear that. Thank you for sharing, I really hope you are doing better. I’m also having similar struggles when I’m usually very good, even better than most at my job. It sucks. I’m on month 5. Initially I took 2 week thinking that’s all I’d need. Then it turned into short term disability for a month, then 2 months, then 3. Eventually I ended up needing to quit bc the disability ppl were so difficult to deal with. Anyway, just nice to talk to someone openly who’s going thru similar things and perhaps I’m feeling eager to share my struggles openly too.
I've been "off" everything since November last year and recovering. Interestingly only now that I've had the time to take a step back have a realised that I might be autistic. I'm hoping to learn enough before I get back into work that I can avoid year-long burnouts in the future and take care of me in a more sustainable (in terms of my own energy and wellbeing) way. THis video was really helpful, I wrote a couple of notes down to think about it more later, thank you!
Hi Hannah, thank you for sharing your experience with autistic burnout. So sorry to hear you suffered for so long. I went through a similar thing starting last Nov as well. Eventually had to quit my job when the disability from my work stopped wanting to extend. It also led me to finally seriously consider I do have autism. Just wanted to share since I was also excited to finally find people with similar struggles as so often it is isolating, although Im sorry you faced this hardship too. You are not alone ❤️
I think what's sad is that there are a great deal of people suffering from burnout as the result of autism, but don't have the financial means or resources to allow themselves the necessary time to recover. Fortunately, some do have the means to take a break, but for those who don't, the absence of recovery continues a cycle of helplessness and frustration that ultimately culminates in recurring burnout, severe meltdown, or worse. Thanks for the insight.
Holy moley this came with perfect timing. I've been experiencing such burnout that I'm getting a symptom of stress I haven't had in several years, where I get shortness of breath from stress. It's not a physical thing - if I get in a flow state, it's just fine. I can also go jogging and endure just fine. But, my brain gets itself into a feedback loop when I'm under severe stress, and this happens. Thanks for the further suggestion above my own thoughts that I need a week or two to decompress. Anybody have any week vacation recommendations in the US? Last year I road-tripped to the middle of the desert. I might do that again, just because I know what that place entails, the route to take, and what to expect.
Palm Springs, CA is nice. Quite a quiet place, you can go wandering Joshua Tree National Park for hours. There’s also a beautiful mountain you can take a cable car to San Jacinto mountain and walk around on top, just stare at the views. We stayed in a hotel that was just a small cabin type room, separated from everyone. It was great. I think it was called Sparrows Lodge. They even had watercolour pencils at the community desk so you could just sit and draw. Or, you could sit and hang out with people, they were totally cool with either. There was a tiny bar at the desk so you could get a drink then go sit outside your cabin and relax. Awesome 👍🏼
Being conscious during our pandemic and global warming, regardless of being autistic, should be an upheaval to call for a 'time out' and reappraisal. I have found my autism to be my compass to read our culture and when it has lost a sense of balance and proportionality.
I understand what you mean. I’ve been there soooo many time. School time feels this way cause you don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel until the semester is over.
I've been out for half a year now. I've been learning about my limits. Still can't shake my inner critic... even though I'm exhausted most of the day. I haven't found things that give me energy, everything just costs me.
Great video, it's condensed alot of learning and reading I've done to understand why I've lost jobs in the past. You used a phrase I think it was transition period, the time between things or moving from one thing to another. It explained why weekly meetings (at an unknown time, on different days because we have to be flexible) just didn't work for me at work. I ended up loosing that job because I had a panic attack after the meeting every week and I never felt settle by the next week. So when they said I had to improve my behavior but wouldn't say what (they meant stop having panic attacks) the panic rose and just didn't disapate. I feel utterly unemployable as a result. But this video has just made it easier to explain to others. I might be able to figure out how to explain it better in future. So thankyou
Omg, thank you. I pushed myself beyond burn out until my PTSD kicked in with a side of debilitating depression. It's been several weeks and I'm still not "recovered". You've given me permission to take the time I need to truly recover. I've been forced to "semi"work and it makes recovery time longer.
I realized I did my best my junior year of highschool, because I had a loving on the spectrum boyfriend who I never fought with and we just shared special interests together and I took every Wednesday of school off. 5 days just felt like too much for me and there were never tests on Wednesdays, it was a superfluous day. That schedule allowed me to thrive and get perfect grades that one year. It was also a zero tolerance bullying school and I took some classes that were special interests (like world religions). How do I as an adult figure out a schedule for myself? I'm a mom of a toddler and I'm a widow with very little family help, no friends, and I had to give up my career as a flight attendant. I used to travel by myself to Hawaii to recover from burnout, no talking to anyone, sit on beach and eat sushi rolls. Idk how to change my life to better my predicament, it's just too much. I want to sell my house because I can't keep up with it but the amount of readying to sell has buried me in burnout. I can't take a break as a parent, especially at this age. I need physical affection, idk. I need one person to care about me in this world. I can't find things that give me energy anymore. I'm just sinking deeper.
This hit every one of my intrusive thoughts and guilt. For the first time in the 4 years that I've been dealing with this, i feel actually understood. Thank you for making this video
Very helpful video, thank you! I am in my mid-30s and trying to decide on the pros and cons of getting an ASD dx--I have always known I have lots of quirks but it wasn't until I watched ur videos that I realized, like a slap in the face, that I most certainly have ASD.
This felt more like a guide on avoiding full burnout than actually recovering from it apart from the last section or 2, it was definitely relatable though
This has been my life for as long as I remember. Having only received my formal autism diagnosis recently I can now see for the first time that what I need to let go of is my attachment to what I think I 'should' be able to do and how I think I 'should' be able to function. I have lumpy energy, I've a monotropic mindset, I have poor insight into myself. I need support from others to help me know when to give me a break, I need a somantic councillor for now until I learn how to read my own body better and I need to accept that this part of my autism is the dis in my ability, especially if poorly managed. I'm working on that 😊
Very interesting video. I have occasional episodes of anxiety, sweating and cramps, which are panic attacks caused by misunderstanding what people mean. Further in the past I have had two or three week periods of feeling like I was dragging my mind behind me and when night and day merged, and these were perhaps burnouts. I think that my panic attacks are fueled by a single event or person, whereas the meltdowns have been caused by taking in too much social information and chasing others' expectations. All of these things last a week or so, but I seem to remember them for years.
How do you folks deal with the incredible boredom during recovery phases? I know I need to rest and I do, I just get SO terribly bored when I just lie around all day.
I'm at 7 months after working through it for 20 years. The problem is, I'm at the point where I need to go back to work or leave for good. I can't afford to leave for good, but I just can't go back right now, either. :-(
Are there options to go onto disability support? Not everyone has this option sadly but I thought Id mention it because many ppl dont know they have this option. Sometimes talking with a family doctor or therapist can help you to find resources for what you need right now.
@@indigo8337 After pulling up my bootlaces and applying, I'm waiting to hear back whether they think I'm full of crap or not. The problem is the very act of filling out paperwork, asking for help and the communication/initiative needed to get it done is EXACTLY what I'm burnt out on and can't handle at work. I can do what I'm a specialist at, but it's just the amount of paper-chasing and keeping timecards filled and checking in with 45 random people on a random basis and other bureaucratic BS I can't handle right now. And yes, this is even with therapist help, diagnosis, etc.
Oh my God. This video is so relatable. I'm totally at my limit, about to have a week off starting Saturday but I already made a bunch of social commitments... dammit haha.
what do you do when you cant drop things? I cant let things pile up bc I cant catch up on. I cant go to part time bc I have a dentist appt coming up, and mediciaid wouldnt cover that office, and I have bad cavities bc Im not functioning. EVERYTHING feels like a demand, i wash laundry at a nursing home for a living, and every single item i fold is excrutiaing, I know I need to let go to heal, but I cant! what the hell am i supposed to do! I cant let my teeth rot, but I dont think I can do this for another month!
I have a burnout about once a month, then a week or 2 to recover, 1-2 weeks ""functional"" and then I have a meltdown and burn again. I'm exhausted and this is not working :( I need a BIG break but it feels like it's never enough and that life is slipping away
Thank you for sharing your experience. Any advice on how to deal when we don't have the option to take the time off? I work 9-5 and I can't just decide not to work when I am going through autistic burnout. Just recovering from one now but feels like it lasted for almost 2 months as I can't actually reduce my work hours...
I understand you well. I am sorry you go through burnout. Sometimes estimula drains me without me noticing. Maybe you are pushing yourself too hard. Be gentle with yourself ♥️ we tend to think we should accomplish this and that commitment without realizing it is not good for our health. I am 65yo I can only do one or two errands during the day to come back to my bedroom and rest. That if I want to function tomorrow. Sometimes I take 1/2 hour breaks no lights flat in the bed listening to soft music to regulate myself. A pain in the back is the sign that I went too far. When the pain goes away means I am regulated and may get up and keep going. You are young, I hope you find your own way to recover on an everyday basis so burn out is under “control” ha! I need to do it to avoid melt down and shut down. I don’t want to be in burn out the rest of my life. It’s been a while. A whole life with out care and diagnose really deteriorated my health on every sense. I learned to let go and release the need to have control of the situation. Your health and your emotions are more important than anything else. Take care, much love. Namaste 🙏🏼
I recover by reading in my bible as much as a can because it makes my so much joyful... in Psalm 119 I realized how I could pray to God... Its so meaningful to know my real identity in Christ... I love to take time with my creator to realize my purpose in this specific time
Glad it works for you. Being forced into christianity from a very young age, those post usually make me gag. Keep up with what makes you happy, just don't expect it to work for everyone :)
I know what you mean. It's about focusing on what is important in life. Not worrying that you are letting people down etc. but trusting in God to strengthen you for what's important and trusting God to take care of everything that is not your burden to bear. I find peace in the storm because I know my failings are forgiven and he loves me so faithfully. Jesus said "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." He knows us!
I'm glad you took the time. I know I need time off, but short of passing out or ending up in the hospital, I can't afford to tell my temp agency or client no. It's causing health problems, and I may have no choice but to say no, maybe even as soon as this week. I only have enough money to live on for a few weeks if that happens, and family can maybe help for a month, but it's hard to find work around here, especially work I can physically do. Hadn't expected telecommuting to take this much of a toll.
I appreciate your analogy of "it doesn't matter how low the cost is if you don't have the money." I feel I can extend the metaphor -- we can use caffeine or stimulants (legal or not) to give ourselves a line of credit, so to speak -- but we still have to pay the bill, and now with interest.
I can't afford to take anything more than my 7 vacation days off a year and an occasional unppaid sick day once in a blue moon. Is it possible to recover from burn out while working 40 hours a week plus some weekends? Some days all I do is work and go home and go to bed. Kinda getting to be a pointless existence.
Thank you so much for sharing, I don't currently have the spoons to share much insight, but I found this reassuring while feeling like I'm in chronic burn out. ✨
Listening to this made me recognize my own mood patterns recently, and in past situations. Sooo busy and stressed that I’m hair-trigger from exploding and feeling exhausted all the time, then I get a small relief and immediately feel better and energized as if the still-heavy workload was nothing. And then one thing happens and suddenly I’m exhausted again. Burnout is way too real a thing.
I don’t get it. How are you supposed to support yourself, if you don’t have a significant other who can support you while you recover.? What are we supposed to do?! I have to go to work, are we all supposed to be on disability?
When I was working, I could only work 4 days a week. I didn't know WHY, I just knew that was optimal for ME. People tried to fight back, bosses wanted more. I told them, "do you want a burned out employee? Or do you want 4 days of an excellent employee?" I didn't mean to me rude or mean, I just knew I had a limit. Now, I understand I'm likely an aspie
Thank you sincerely, I was completely losing it, not understanding what was happening me and why all my efforts in compensating leads me to even more suffering and exhaustion. This really helped get a different point of view
I was listening to this with some noise cancelling headphones, and kept hearing loud thumping. I just spent the last 10 minutes investigating my house for the cause and finally realized that the thumping is in the background of this video. 😅
As someone who thrives off of creative tasks (writing, drawing, editing, reading, etc.), I tend to be very work-minded and therefore I have a harder time giving myself a break when I need one. During the days when I have no choice but to rest, I get easily bored because there’s no excitement where I live, especially during the pandemic. Today, though, I found a small bit of joy in socializing on Twitter and going for an evening walk to the convenience store for a bottle of Diet Coke and a Hungry Man TV dinner. The music I was listening to during my walk also put some pep in my step whether it was “A Certain Shade of Green” by Incubus, “Savin’ Me” by Nickelback, or “The Leader of the Broken Hearts” by Papa Roach. My big takeaway: if I’m doing something different from what I’m normally doing, then different is good. Even something as small as journaling out in the living room instead of in my bedroom was different.
Boy, can I relate. I feel the same for a few weeks now and your video gave me a boost. Take as long a break as you need. We're happy to see you happy. Plus the thicker beard looks nice 😉
Those are very informative tips and info!! i just found out the word 'autistic burnout' which explained perfectly to what happen to me last year and this year. This lockdown really trigger my autistic trait.
Been feeling burned out lately. I have trouble getting up in the morning. I've been more tired than usual these past few days. I just got my PhD, and I'm trying to land an entry-level job for experience. I write fanfics and mess around with Audacity as hobbies, but I've struggled a lot with my writing as of late. The older I get, the less energy and patience I have with myself.
I'm wondering if that's what happened to me in college. I went from being on top of everything in school to barely being able to meet deadlines let alone doing other things
I have had such massive burn-outs in life that I think I am finally done not listening to what my body and brain are telling me! Hopefully I'll never get in that deep of a hole again. I do what's right for me now, no self-judgement, no shame. We have to live at the right pace for ourselves, it's just not worth the fall-out to push way past our limits. When we advocate for ourselves and expect our needs to be respected it allows others to do the same, it can be a true act of generosity.
Hi Paul - as one of your patreon supporters, PLEASE take the time off you need to keep yourself healthy! We love your videos and are happy to have them on your schedule when you're able and there's no reason to push yourself beyond your healthy limits. I can't speak for others but your past videos have already helped me so much that I would be happy to keep supporting you even if you didn't make another video for a couple of years if you needed to take that much time off. Do what you need to do m8, its all good!
Thank you so much for this video. This is so helpful for me to hear someone else feeling the same way. And you are very good at coming up with strategies and then explaining them to others. Also, I really like your videos when you are sitting down at your desk. Being close to the camera, in that format, feels like I'm listening to a friend or a counsellor. Thank you for this extremely helpful content.
This happened to me at my last job and ultimatley I had to quit because of it. Even though I would express to others and provide lists of things that needed to be kept up with while I was away things would get "saved for me" because I was "better at them" and slowly as we got busier and I had more work with less support my time from recovery to burnout again was maybe 30 mins-2 hours. Unfortunately the standard workplace is not a very accomodating place and it's on'y getting worse as companies try to extract more profit and labour from fewer workers on staff
I remember my first autistic burnout when i was 15 and i took two weeks off and just played on my own out in nature where it was quiet. Since then i've had to do this once every couple of years and sometimes multiple times a year. Sadly most employers don't understand and i've lost my job so many times including just recently. I'm 58 now and people assume you grow out of it but you don't.
@Tom Gibson congrats on your studies. Yes I identify as high functioning ASD. I am a holistic health coach in my own biz. The classic medical environment didn't suit me!
I went murderously hard, like WAY harder than I should, for years, until I got laid off last year. I took a 40% pay cut to draw unemployment, but the time off has opened my eyes to a few things. I haven't left my house in I don't know how long besides absolutely essential trips. And it's been a boon for my mental well-being
I found out I am Autistic a month ago. I wasn't far away from a full break down I think... I have been out of action for almost a month and still feel so far away from the me I used to be. Not sure who that even was. I am trying to be patient with myself. I am 38 and I guess I have 38 years worth of unraveling to do. Thank you for your show. It has been very helpful. I have been highly anxious, stressed, mentally exhausted and my brain can't do more that 1 thing at a time...if even 1 thing. My emotions are all over the place. Hoping to exit the fog soon.
![Tee Grizzley - Blow for Blow (feat. J. Cole) [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/wNLN5xsx5dc/mqdefault.jpg)
I’d like to know what an autistic person can do when they burned out so bad even their special interests become triggers of anxiety
Ask yourself what it is--broadly speaking--that attracted you to that special interest in the first place and then try to translate that onto some other topic. I.e., maybe your special interest in dinosaurs really stems from the desire to understand the functioning of biological systems; so, as a result of the trauma you experienced from all the bullying because you're a giant nerd, you decide to translate that interest in biological systems into studying medicine and becoming a doctor.
I'm like that. My brain fog (and ADHD) are so intense in burnout I can't remember a thing and I can't form the complex thoughts or hold information/remember things - so my special interests have become another thing I can no longer engage in with the same vigor or even cognizance. Therefore another thing I love and I'm letting down - another thing I'm neglecting. And the anxiety hamster gets fed again and keeps on running.
personally I just find a new interest. I accept the fact that I am a jack of all trades and king of none. A wise man once said "When you reach the last page, close the book."
I take an ssri, personally
@@froodoftheforest this is same for me. it's an incredibly painful cycle because I have nothing meaningful or enjoyable i can do to relax. i am paralysed.
Very difficult to take time out when you're in a job where sick leave is frowned on even if there is a doctor's note. Risk of getting a disciplinary followed by dismissal. Makes life almost impossible.
This. So much this. I dealt with a job like this and only ended up borderline suicidal by the time I quit.
And it wouldn't be such a problem if nearly every single job weren't this way.
We really need to something about this. I don't know how though. :(
try meditation. a calm mind will lessen your suffering until your external circumstances change, and they WILL one day. hugs.
This
I can’t relate to this exactly but I’m a stay at home mom and we can’t afford daycare…this age she is at is causing severe burnout and I cannot get through the week anymore without help. I feel like a huge failure and completely trapped. It feels “impossible” exactly as you say. I’m so sorry for your struggle.
Yes so I just ended up on disability instead because I can’t handle being self employed and I couldn’t find a job that was flexible enough but still paid enough to live off of .. this life 😣
I was furloughed in March 2020.
It took awhile for me to adjust to that.
My dog died 3 weeks later.
It took me awhile to adjust to that.
> A year later, I began to realize I’ve been on auto run - my entire life !
> I’m not going back to that madness ., I’m going to enjoy my life from now on. But first, I will relax & pay attention to doing stuff bc it energizes me 💁🏻♀️💚✨
Trying to figure out what gives me energy in of itself is exhausting so yeah this is very hard.
Right there with you. As he mentioned doing the things which give energy, I found myself drawing an immediate blank trying to think of any. Then suddenly I realized the video had ended a while ago and I hadn't even noticed. Gonna hafta watch it again.
Thank you for making this. I’m in burnout right now, my first one since discovering my autism. It’s nice having a name and an explanation for these cycles of hyperproductivity and crashing. Now I feel like I can better learn to pace my energy so that my burnouts don’t hit as hard.
Thank you, Paul. Using up those spoons pretty quickly, eh?
I’m 63 yr old American female who retired in spring of 2020 due to a combination of longstanding ASD burnout, and also a case of Covid that outlasted the medical leave my workplace would allow. I still feel burned out, and unfortunately, sense that I won’t improve soon. I rest, and do things that I think are therapeutic for me. I’m glad not to be working.
There have been a lot of special allowances made due to covid. Surely you are deserving of one
Paul, i am so proud of you...Because you are learning to be modest (accept that you are only human and have limitations just like neurotypicals like me)...I know it is hard...I totally relate to your experience...Enjoy your time off without the guilt...Your health is of utmost importance ☺
Good on you Paul for taking a break 🙂 Honestly, hard relate to pretty much every point you said. The 'I always need longer than what I optimistically need' + 'an afternoon / day / or even 4 days won't do it' especially - I'm soooo bad for trying to have the shortest possible break I think I "should" have and then having to let ppl down a second time because it's done absolute jack for me. Thank you for making videos about your experience with this - the people around me don't get it at all, and while it sucks, there's a certain kind of pressure that's relieved by seeing your experiences in someone else. Cheers mate and hope you start to rebound soon.
I’m so lucky to have found your vids .
I have exactly the same symptoms dealing with burnt out episodes !
Been dealing with these bouts of feeling totally wipe out a good part of my life...
With the need of long periods of rest until I’m able to recuperate again....however it’s an on going condition !
Best to you. 🙏🏼 Bob.
When I get to that point, especially with work (which I dislike intensely; looking for a mid-life career change), I start taking "mental health" days off. Usually it's just a half-day in the morning, so I can get some extra sleep.
My wife and I just celebrated our 28th anniversary, so I took a 4-day weekend, Friday thru Monday off. It worked great. We went away for a night, I relaxed, got some writing done, and just overall cleared my head and didn't push. I got enough little stuff done around the house to feel useful. I understand the variation on time off needed. Usually I just need a half a day or a day, but sometimes it takes multiples to really clear out the junk (stress and anxiety) to really reset yourself properly.
Still processing. Had to watch again because 10 days has not been enough!
Much love brother, take care of yourself. Remember, we’re a bunch of Aspies, were used to people just dipping out for a while. 😁
I totally agree with this. Great video
I avoid people at times like a "troll". Not a mean one necessarily, but I "hermit". I hyper process things and look for too many paths to "win the goal", thus over working my mind on how to make top ramen. Other times I might not give enough attention to something critical and I have to "catch a clue" and jump back into work over something I might not want to do. I understand.
Well this video is fantastic. I'm 29 years old and somehow I have only just heard of this concept even though I have been clearly suffering from it for years.
Thanks for posting and as a fellow Melbournian, lockdown sucks!
Burned out since 2018. It did get a bit better. I can do a few hours sometimes, compared to not even 10 minutes a day in the beginning. I'm at a plateau though, so I don't know how to progress from here 🤔
I've literally forgotten how to drive, as a delivery driver.
Interesting topic with many potential facets. Coming to understand my autism late in life, I learned to compensate early on in ways that did help but also were very costly. Always struggling with the sense of not being good enough, I over compensated by putting in intense amounts of effort into my work so that what I accomplished was undeniably excellent. It worked. The works I have achieved over the years have earned me a high degree of respect from my clients and peers and it has given me something tangible to hang my self esteem on. It's also too costly in terms of energy to maintain. I still never feel good enough. After 45 years of over compensation, I can hardly keep up the effort. It's burnout that verges on breakdown.
Listen to yourself. I didn't, because of denial, suppression and myriad other reasons that were too "important" to allow myself to slow down. I burned out in my 50's, with tragic results. Like you, I had worked for decades to become a master of my craft. I've only recently looked into what it means to be autistic. I had suspected I was for most of my life, and had/have several family members on the spectrum. I didn't know that there were ways of accommodating myself that could have avoided or moderated the catastrophic burnout I experienced. I've been educating myself over the last 2 1/2 years, and have recently been taking steps to begin working again. I still don't have a formal diagnosis, but have been as thorough as I could be to self assess. Along the way Paul's videos, along with Samdy Sam, Purple Ella and others have been very helpful... transformative actually. I worked one day last week in another atelier, and slept the entire following day. I allowed myself to feel my feelings and rest, instead of hating myself. Something I NEVER would have considered years ago, but I should have. I think it's tremendously valuable to share your thoughts and feelings. It's a comfort to know that I am not unique. Thanks, and please don't wait until your mind and body decide to force you to slow down or take a break. You've earned it. And... thank you Paul, for everything.
Only 25, but the thought pattern you describe/detail is so familiar!
I've always called myself a perfectionist, but that also in turn makes everything take even longer - anyway, wanted to share that I can relate, as being able to relate to your post gave me relief. :)
I am exactly the same.
41 here and got my level 2 diagnosis last year
@@jonmars9559 Remarkably similar from the sounds of it! I'm working on the CPTSD side of it as well. I've had therapists (briefly) who attributed everything to trauma, but the deeper I dug the more I recognized the ASD from earliest memories. I think ASD made me susceptible (or vulnerable), especially when I was younger. I've found that Buddhism (Buddhist study of how our minds work) and Gabor Mate (also on RUclips) have helped immensely. But I still can't quite separate one from the other. I find that certain situations trigger both a trauma AND autistic response. Or... I respond to trauma triggers autistically. If that makes any sense. I know that feeling of being dragged through life utterly bewildered, but understanding has lessened that. I'm still learning to identify when something is "off", and take steps to prevent free-fall. Good luck on your journey as well!
@@dlesliejones It seems like we are of a similar generation with similar circumstances. You've got to do what you've got to do to survive. I grew up initially in Southern California and the schools there were a free for all. Put an ASD kid in that situation, someone sensitive, self isolating and without the innate ability to make friends and trauma is sure to follow. It felt like I was being thrown into a cage with roaming packs of wild animals on the hunt for easy prey. Until I learned to fight back, there was never a moments peace and school faculty were almost as bad as the bullies. Home life was not much better.
Fast forward to adult life and trauma is essentially integral with the ASD. Paul did an excellent video on autism and trauma and how they overlap. I think it is hard not to be traumatized on some level when growing up Aspie. The Crappy Childhood Fairy offers some exercises that seem to help take some of the charge out of CPTSD triggers. Other kinds of "disorders" can pile on us Aspies as well. At least today these things are better understood and diagnosed earlier. I get a kick out of kids claiming they were late diagnosed in their late teens. I guess it's all relative.
gets more complicated with a family and home where you still have to attend to those things even if you are "off"
true but hopefully the family grows up and become more independent and they can all help each other (considering at least some of them might have similar needs!)
Right
@@alchemyofcolorandstyle Yeah. “The family” is the problem… 🙄 No. YOU are the problem. Literally the most important aspect of family is support, communication, and affection. How do you think they cope when they have an autistic family member who ignores them and shuts down on them for days and weeks? Most humans can easily be traumatized by this form of treatment from a supposed loved one
@@keller109 your comment makes no sense in relation to mine, maybe you were wishing to respond to another user?
@@alchemyofcolorandstyle No. I am commenting directly to you and your saying the family should “grow up” and be more “independent.” It was a ridiculous thing for you to say.
I am in Autistic burnout right now. It's a pretty intense one. It's not my first one. What you say is so important. We have to be able to say no and not just postpone things but basically take them off our plates and gradually and carefully reintroduce the things that help us. Because even the things that help us can knock us back down if we do too much
As a health worker with ASD I've had to come to peace with having to reschedule clients from time to time. I have built into my schedule a week off every 6, and then two weeks every 12 to be able to pace myself. When I relax on that mechanism, burnout is a real thing. But this way I can give myself what I need and be at my best to serve my clients 💖 win win.
I feel that Paul. 💯
@@myholisticnurse7914 ❤️💜 💚 💛 💙 🧡
Amen. I’m a NICU nurse who is autistic and I have an autistic son also.
My leave is important and I have found day shift doesn’t work for me.
@@natalyahatchman2952 ya gotta work it for your own sanity! My son also has special needs. It's not easy but we are strong and resilient at the very least! How are you doing with covid stressors Natalya?
@Grey Muldoon you can absolutely do it! It took a lot of self healing and inner work to understand myself , along with developing a great comprehensive toolkit of management strategies, but it is worth it! I teach these things to others now too. 😌
I'm 2 years in to burnout, I quit my last job 2 weeks ago after spending the time saving every cent I could to be able to stop. I have zero safety net and zero abilities right now. My brain couldn't get around how to make a sandwich yesterday so I just went without food until 8pm when why body screamed so loud I couldn't ignore it anymore. Waiting for some family stress to quieten so I hopefully will stop the exhausted buzzing in my nervous system will quieten and I can get through this thing. I just have to eat enough good food (when I can remember - ADHD and a zillion other things), sleep and requiring nothing of myself until I have enough energy to start doing the restorative things. This burnout thing is a Sisyphean feat. And we're supposed to live in an NT world as adults with zero support.
Edit: If you are experiencing burnout and would like to share, please do so below, just reading all your stories makes me feel way less alone and like my tribe is out there, fighting with me. Thanks guys.
I'm on my third year of burn out. (Six if you count when I started to feel it coming) I leave the house only when absolutely necessary, shower once a month, have stopped doing laundry, and have been subsisting on animal crackers and Ensure for the past month and a half.
Every time I complete a task in one day (such as paying one bill online or making one phone call), I need another 4 days to work up the energy to do another task. I marvel at the things I used to do. I have no idea how I was ever able to accomplish anything. A load of clean dishes is cause for a fucking celebration. I wonder when I'll become human again.
Yes, burn out is real. I'm beginning to wonder if mine is permanent. This guy says 2 weeks. I say hmphf!
Good luck on your healing journey! Did the same... saved a lot and took six months off. I come back to work monday. I think I am ready. Wish me luck!
Yes this 😞 me to I’m sorry I’m almost a year into what I now know is a burn out. 2 of my 3 kids start school in a few weeks I am devastated they won’t be home with me any longer but I am hoping to use that time with only one little to recharge a bit during the day.
@@jennifer9047 That sounds heavy, Jennifer. . I know you're trying all you can. I see you. You are amazing.
@@daviddoorbell2909 I hope your time off has replenished your spirit, David. I'll have my fingers crossed for you on Monday!
Thank you I’ve been in a major burnout for several months due to things in my life currently I cannot rest as much as I need. This burnout actually led to finally figuring out why I’ve struggled my whole life with a stack of Mis diagnosis’. Now we know I’ve been going through a intense autistic burnout so it’s actually a blessing I’ve been fighting with doctors and therapist for years that they weren’t seeing what was actually wrong. The meds the therapies nothing worked and all my issues remained. I have to find out what gives me energy that’s my goal now.
Many doctors I’ve interacted with just don’t seem to understand.
@@KamranKhan-ob2oq same
I'm sitting here reflecting on what burn out means to me. One and a half years since my breakdown, and then more recently an adult diagnos. The biggest problem for me, aside from the physical health problems (which seem to be getting better) and economic difficulties (which are getting worse by the day), is that I am just now beginning to realise that it's all gone. My dream job is over, the financial security is gone, that little house in the countryside will never be. That's my reality and it makes me so very sad. 50 years I've been fooling myself that I'll amount to something and it's only just now I'm realising I've run out of time.
Am felingt about the same.
I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I can relate so much.
Been there. It can get better but the processing issues in our brains are always lurking, waiting for the stress to achieve critical mass so it can strike again. Money and technology are often beyond our control so they can create mega stress.
Yes I can really relate, and I'm sorry for you. I'm 61, totally burnt out, living on disability benefits. I won't work again. I can't do what is expected of me any more.
I think I’ve been going through cycles of burnout throughout 34 years and just blaming myself for being immature and self centered, like some unhelpful family members have tended to tell me I am.. I just keep going through your videos this week and it’s really helping me see from a new, much healthier perspective. There was always a feeling that I was chasing that said there’s something I really need to learn to explain this difficult pattern of burnout in my life ever since a young kid.
My husband is about to turn 50 years old. He is this absolute treasure of a human being but he has been in burnout for 4 years at least. This is what lead him to do a number of assessments and begin following your channel. He hasn't been able to get an official diagnosis but we know we is Autistic. He is an engineer and works full-time, right now he is the breadwinner for the family as I am caring for our 5 kids full-time. At this point, we know his lifestyle needs to completely change because his quality of life is so low. He wants to connect with his family and can't due to burnout. We are in the process of determining what is needed for a real reset for him. We very much appreciate your videos as they have given us both such great understanding and insight. Thanks!
We had a similar issue in my family. I also can’t work at all because I’m disabled. My husband had to leave his really good paying job for one that was less stressful for him. Now we’re living on a teacher’s salary with a family of six. We have to be more careful with finances, but he’s doing so much better.
Can't imagine a women would want to be with a asd man.
All I seem to read on the www. Is we are pretty terrible things .
@@julienfroidevaux1143 I am pretty sure if every partner I had wrote about their experiences with me, folks would wonder why anyone would want to be with me too. My husband being autistic isn't the "problem" because he has to deal with a non-asd world 24/7 and no one is saying "man, who would ever want to marry a neurotypical". The issue is, we are programmed to look at the way he interacts and say "You're wrong, change." The burden to change is placed soley on the autistic's shoulders to bear and after 40+ years of trying to adjust, burnout happens.
Before I met my husband, I thought I loved people - then, I watched how he loves others everyday without us realizing it. He strives to understand others and is patient when they misjudge him. He continues to step back into relationship with a world of people that have hurt him over a lifetime because he knows they just lack understanding. I am a better person because I married an autistic.
@@sllozier Well I'm happy it's working out , when I keep reading online how horrible we are it makes me stay well away from the opposite sex .
Even though in theory I kinda off like the idea ....
@@sllozier I agree let people be .
I've found that I need to figure out what I wanted to invest my energy in to, and sometimes I'm blind to my own exhaustion. I'll go without eating or drinking, because I'm so focused on work. Take time for yourself, and learn how to use your energy more wisely.
Setting alarms on your phone as a reminder to eat or drink could help. I have very poor interoception and hardly ever notice when I'm hungry or need to drink - especially when I'm super focused on something for literally hours, so that helps me but I need a second alarm for a few minutes after the first one because otherwise I have already forgotten about what I'm supposed to be doing...
I had a meltdown back in February and I’ve been pretty terrible since… this should be timely.
what happened
Isn’t it awful? 😣 I feel like I have permanently lost abilities 🙄
Just learned im autistic over the past few weeks. I've owned 3 businesses. Each business I start then sell after 3 years. Never understood the timing, but it was becoming a pattern. My most recent business was the largest endeavor though, and it required 6 years to make it profitable enough to sell. The final year, I was really getting depressed and had zero motivation. Looking back now, my masks were falling away when dealing with people. I was being more honest about what I expected, how I felt, and less patient with dealing with people and partaking in small talk. I was becoming lazy and by extension supremely guilty. The sale went through early this year, about 6 months ago. I'm essentially retired now and have the time to work on my physical and mental health. Lo and behold, I am in the middle of an autistic burnout. It never made sense to me before that I could become so useless after a lifetime of overachieving and workaholism. These videos are incredibly helpful in helping me understand why I've felt so much different from everyone else my whole life.
Are you doing better now?
@@davydejong2788 yeah I am. I got on LDN a few months ago. Forgot to take it 3 days in a row without realizing and I went right back to overstimulated and anxious. This stuff really seems to help me. Also, I got into a health food/gut microbiome/calisthenics/running kick for about 6 months. I slowed down now, but I am feeling more like myself. It's great to understand why I think differently than everyone else I meet. Also allows me more patience with myself; I've stopped a few meltdowns already by recognizing the patterns and seemingly runaway emotions. So yes, definitely better. And I've had a few spurts of super motivation again. But they come and go still, so I'm trying to accept and properly utilize the "lazy" parts in between.
Damn man this really resonates with me. I’ve also started a multiple companies and I’m going through similar cycles. I’m on one now. Three years after starting this company and I’m feeling very overwhelmed. Feeling fatigued. But I have to push on because I’m in the middle of the race, you know?
I was incredibly burnt out and then did a full month internship which took 3000 times the spoons I had. I don’t know how I managed it but it put me so deep into burnout. It’s now been several months since with a week or two off here and there and I feel sure I will never recover. I am beyond miserable and there’s no end in sight.
How are you doing now ?
@@Deadsea_1993 Thanks for asking! I'm doing pretty well now! I'm a teacher so the rhythm of having the summers to reset has been great. And the school I'm teaching at has a lot of neurodivergent students and teachers which helps a lot!
I literally need this right now.
I can feel the energy need increasing for each subsequent conversation I have with someone. I want to just turn off my brain but I can't stop concentrating and it's exhausting
Paul, you have mentioned before that you workout regularly, and I was wondering how exercise affects autism. And is there a time when exercise might be a solution for burnout or stress? What are your thoughts on the impact of an exercise regimen for autistic people?
I don't know if I will ever recoup that lost energy. I have been hanging on and stealing time where I can to the point I'm drained. I worry about my health. I don't know if I am autistic but I can't make myself do things even if it benefits me.
Does anyone else here suffer from a sleep disorder? I'm wondering how autism and burnout and sleep are related. (I wonder if my sleep disorder is causing my burnout or if my autism is affecting my sleep)
I have no circadian rhythm. None. At all. My body does what it wants in regards to sleep, and I have no control. I've lost jobs because of it. I've let people down, no-showed appointments, missed flights, missed exams, missed holidays, lost friends, estranged family members who "just think I'm lazy", befuddled doctors, and no one will help me. (Or maybe no one knows how)
There is no "typical day" for me. It's a grab-bag. Monday I may be asleep the entire 24 hours. Tuesday I may get up at 8am, work one hour, and go back to bed exhausted, only to be wide awake again at 11:30pm Tues night. From then, I may not be able to sleep again until Thursday afternoon. Then I'll sleep through the weekend and be wide awake from 4am Monday morning to midnight the next Wednesday!
I have slept for 40 hrs straight. I have been awake for 76 hours straight. I have days where I get up, do a task and then take a 2hr nap. Then get up again for another hour or two, then take a 3hr nap, then up for 4hrs, down for 1.5, up for 2, down for 3, like a yoyo. I've tried to find a pattern, but there is none.
I've also tried regular exercise. It keeps me up at night. I've tried blue light blocking. Doesn't make a difference. Not even Ambien and codeine can put me to sleep if my body doesn't feel like it. I've tried sunrise light therapy, med changes, diet changes, cut out caffeine, melatonin supplements, tried set schedule regular 9-5 jobs(fail), then tried weekend and part-time jobs, working night hours only (fail), black out curtains, white noise machines, warm milk, lowering the thermostat, military precision wake/rise regulation, showering at night, showering in the morning, warm baths, coffee and energy drinks, exercise first thing in the a.m., yoga, meditation, massage, acupuncture, Chinese herbal medicine, reiki, deep breathing, subliminal relaxation tapes, marijuana, alcohol, cognitive behavioral therapy, stopping all my medication, tried hormone therapy, chiropractic, CBD, aromatherapy, keeping my pets out of the bedroom, earplugs, heating pads, letting my pets sleep with me, cooling pillows, raising my head, raising my feet, bedtime rituals, smudging my bedroom with sage, healing crystals, banning electronics from the bedroom, using bed only for sleep, chamomile tea, reading a book, or masturbation before bed, sleeping in soft pajamas, a C-pap machine, sleeping naked, abstaining from sex and masturbation completely, quitting smoking, dehumidifier, not keeping a clock in the bedroom, humidifier, setting 2 back up alarms, having people call me to wake me up, changing mattresses, changing beds, moving to different homes, prayer, etc... Short of an exorcism, or a peyote sweat lodge journey, I have literally tried everything.
Anyway, sorry to ramble, but I wanted to cover my bases. I know people in the comments love to help and support each other and offer advice, and I didn't want to just respond to everyone with "Already tried it". But if anyone can offer me any insight to this very real physical handicap I'm struggling with, I would be receptive.
I've had this sleep disorder since birth. My mom says that I was the opposite of most babies- I was wide awake for about 18hrs of the day, then down for six. I had insomnia in my grade school years. Mom would burst in mornings with a squirt gun and spray me with water to get me up on time. I managed through high school by filling every minute of every day with activities an responsibilities and projects with friends. I would go to school early for breakfast and scholastic bowl practice, then use my lunch to edit the school newspaper. After school I had choir practice and cross-country and track to train for. Then I'd go meet the kid I was tutoring for a lesson, or meet the homecoming planning committee to decorate, or meet with project partners for class work. Then I'd go home and eat leftovers from dinner while finishing the rest of my homework. After all that *sometimes* sleep would come, but I needed much more than 8hrs. The weekends were filled with tournaments, performances, auditions for school play, track meets, and travel. My dad used to say they need to put 12 more hours in a day for me. In college I was away from my support group and just flailed through, of course getting excellent grades, but missing most morning classes. I graduated with honors, though, because when I was awake, I was high-energy Super productive.
I believe the burn out started for me as I got older and the exotic non-traditional jobs dissappeared along with my bursts of energy and motivation. But the sleep problem remains. I can't hold down a 9-5 job or even an 11-8am job now. So I am an outside language contractor for all central Illinois clinics and hospitals and I'm on call 24/7. That odd schedule sometimes manages to match up with mine, but this is what I'm suspecting led to my burnout. This is the NUMBER ONE problem in my life that keeps me from achieving all I want and need to do. But- is it a *symptom* of aspergers, or do I have aspergers *because of it*? And secondly, is my years-long burn out I've been going through caused by sleep deprivation, or aspergers, or is it just severe depression?
Paul, I know you're busy, but I'd love to hear what you think, as well as anyone else on here who has expertise or a similar story! Thanks in advance, fam!!!🤗
I have a similar issue except that I've never enjoyed the energy you had in your youth. The most energy I ever feel is when I lay down to sleep. If I push to stay awake during the day, at times when I'm hit by a wave of exhaustion, it's just a recipe for deeper burnout. Sorry, I have no answers
I cannot help you, but thank you for your story. I cannonly ask if you have ever tried Wim Hof Method? It is not for sleeping problems but sometimes may regulate the hormons and bring more energy and calm down (it does it for me - I sleep far better after cold shower). I am so sorry yoir life looks like that - my days are also a kind of a grab-bag because of an invisible illness... one day I'm energetic and another I'm just OFF. I wish you the very best.
@@Izabela-ek5nh Thank you, I'll try those :)
I haven't been diagnosed with anything, but I stumbled across your channel, and I can relate to every one of your video's. I had a normal childhood but once I hit my teenage years I turned into a commpletely different person and always felt something deep inside was very different than other people, always felt like some kind of alien or something. Im 26 now and learned to cope... well fake is a better word and pretend to act normal its a mental drain everyday, it doesn;t help I had a stroke when I was 20 just adds to everything. I haven't had energy in 10 years
I am just figuring out that I am on the autistic spectrum and I am in burnout for a while, but couldn't find the right words. Finding your video is the first time in a while that I feel like something applies to my struggles and I just cried bc maybe I am not "broken", maybe I just work different. Thank you so much for your honesty!
Hi Paul, it's good you took time off, apparently youtubers often have trouble justifying taking breaks to themselves, but I really don't think anyone in this community would want you to create content when you're exhausted. The thing you said about finding it harder to deal with lights and noises when you're burnt out - I've noticed that in myself, too! Everything that takes energy away from me - conversations, light and sound, lack of sleep - it all runs on the same battery.
I know. It doesn't help that I am typing this at 1:19 A.M.!
For me when low on energy, it feels like everything is even more expensive than usual. It's like always when I'm going to do something, I have to pay mental energy taxes to my senses (+ masking) instead of automatic contribution from a reserve. In the past there was a period of time when it was easy to focus only on that main "something" to do without distractions, but that reserve always deplete after some time, +/- a couple of years.
I can relate to this a lot considering I've spent most of this year recovering from burnout. I still dread having to cancel appointments and always feel a degree of guilt for doing so yet I know that sometimes it's necessary in order to prioritise self care and rest. Thankfully most professionals are very understanding and shouldn't have a problem with you needing to reschedule appointments. I've been learning to do what's best for me and not feel bad about needing to take a break.
Hi Michael, sorry to hear that. Thank you for sharing, I really hope you are doing better. I’m also having similar struggles when I’m usually very good, even better than most at my job. It sucks. I’m on month 5. Initially I took 2 week thinking that’s all I’d need. Then it turned into short term disability for a month, then 2 months, then 3. Eventually I ended up needing to quit bc the disability ppl were so difficult to deal with. Anyway, just nice to talk to someone openly who’s going thru similar things and perhaps I’m feeling eager to share my struggles openly too.
I've been "off" everything since November last year and recovering. Interestingly only now that I've had the time to take a step back have a realised that I might be autistic. I'm hoping to learn enough before I get back into work that I can avoid year-long burnouts in the future and take care of me in a more sustainable (in terms of my own energy and wellbeing) way. THis video was really helpful, I wrote a couple of notes down to think about it more later, thank you!
Hi Hannah, thank you for sharing your experience with autistic burnout. So sorry to hear you suffered for so long. I went through a similar thing starting last Nov as well. Eventually had to quit my job when the disability from my work stopped wanting to extend. It also led me to finally seriously consider I do have autism. Just wanted to share since I was also excited to finally find people with similar struggles as so often it is isolating, although Im sorry you faced this hardship too. You are not alone ❤️
I think what's sad is that there are a great deal of people suffering from burnout as the result of autism, but don't have the financial means or resources to allow themselves the necessary time to recover. Fortunately, some do have the means to take a break, but for those who don't, the absence of recovery continues a cycle of helplessness and frustration that ultimately culminates in recurring burnout, severe meltdown, or worse. Thanks for the insight.
Holy moley this came with perfect timing. I've been experiencing such burnout that I'm getting a symptom of stress I haven't had in several years, where I get shortness of breath from stress. It's not a physical thing - if I get in a flow state, it's just fine. I can also go jogging and endure just fine. But, my brain gets itself into a feedback loop when I'm under severe stress, and this happens.
Thanks for the further suggestion above my own thoughts that I need a week or two to decompress.
Anybody have any week vacation recommendations in the US? Last year I road-tripped to the middle of the desert. I might do that again, just because I know what that place entails, the route to take, and what to expect.
Palm Springs, CA is nice. Quite a quiet place, you can go wandering Joshua Tree National Park for hours. There’s also a beautiful mountain you can take a cable car to San Jacinto mountain and walk around on top, just stare at the views. We stayed in a hotel that was just a small cabin type room, separated from everyone. It was great. I think it was called Sparrows Lodge. They even had watercolour pencils at the community desk so you could just sit and draw. Or, you could sit and hang out with people, they were totally cool with either. There was a tiny bar at the desk so you could get a drink then go sit outside your cabin and relax. Awesome 👍🏼
Being conscious during our pandemic and global warming, regardless of being autistic, should be an upheaval to call for a 'time out' and reappraisal.
I have found my autism to be my compass to read our culture and when it has lost a sense of balance and proportionality.
Dude this is spot on!!!! 😭🙏🙌 I recently was diagnosed at 30 yrs old & I'm so grateful for your videos!! ♥️
I understand what you mean. I’ve been there soooo many time. School time feels this way cause you don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel until the semester is over.
It is good that you recognize when you need this time. Rest is essential
I've been out for half a year now. I've been learning about my limits. Still can't shake my inner critic... even though I'm exhausted most of the day. I haven't found things that give me energy, everything just costs me.
Great video, it's condensed alot of learning and reading I've done to understand why I've lost jobs in the past.
You used a phrase I think it was transition period, the time between things or moving from one thing to another.
It explained why weekly meetings (at an unknown time, on different days because we have to be flexible) just didn't work for me at work. I ended up loosing that job because I had a panic attack after the meeting every week and I never felt settle by the next week. So when they said I had to improve my behavior but wouldn't say what (they meant stop having panic attacks) the panic rose and just didn't disapate.
I feel utterly unemployable as a result. But this video has just made it easier to explain to others.
I might be able to figure out how to explain it better in future.
So thankyou
Omg, thank you. I pushed myself beyond burn out until my PTSD kicked in with a side of debilitating depression. It's been several weeks and I'm still not "recovered". You've given me permission to take the time I need to truly recover. I've been forced to "semi"work and it makes recovery time longer.
I realized I did my best my junior year of highschool, because I had a loving on the spectrum boyfriend who I never fought with and we just shared special interests together and I took every Wednesday of school off. 5 days just felt like too much for me and there were never tests on Wednesdays, it was a superfluous day. That schedule allowed me to thrive and get perfect grades that one year. It was also a zero tolerance bullying school and I took some classes that were special interests (like world religions).
How do I as an adult figure out a schedule for myself? I'm a mom of a toddler and I'm a widow with very little family help, no friends, and I had to give up my career as a flight attendant. I used to travel by myself to Hawaii to recover from burnout, no talking to anyone, sit on beach and eat sushi rolls.
Idk how to change my life to better my predicament, it's just too much. I want to sell my house because I can't keep up with it but the amount of readying to sell has buried me in burnout. I can't take a break as a parent, especially at this age. I need physical affection, idk. I need one person to care about me in this world. I can't find things that give me energy anymore. I'm just sinking deeper.
This hit every one of my intrusive thoughts and guilt. For the first time in the 4 years that I've been dealing with this, i feel actually understood. Thank you for making this video
Very helpful video, thank you! I am in my mid-30s and trying to decide on the pros and cons of getting an ASD dx--I have always known I have lots of quirks but it wasn't until I watched ur videos that I realized, like a slap in the face, that I most certainly have ASD.
Very topical for me at the moment, I’m looking forward too this.
This felt more like a guide on avoiding full burnout than actually recovering from it apart from the last section or 2, it was definitely relatable though
This has been my life for as long as I remember. Having only received my formal autism diagnosis recently I can now see for the first time that what I need to let go of is my attachment to what I think I 'should' be able to do and how I think I 'should' be able to function. I have lumpy energy, I've a monotropic mindset, I have poor insight into myself. I need support from others to help me know when to give me a break, I need a somantic councillor for now until I learn how to read my own body better and I need to accept that this part of my autism is the dis in my ability, especially if poorly managed. I'm working on that 😊
Very interesting video. I have occasional episodes of anxiety, sweating and cramps, which are panic attacks caused by misunderstanding what people mean. Further in the past I have had two or three week periods of feeling like I was dragging my mind behind me and when night and day merged, and these were perhaps burnouts. I think that my panic attacks are fueled by a single event or person, whereas the meltdowns have been caused by taking in too much social information and chasing others' expectations. All of these things last a week or so, but I seem to remember them for years.
How do you folks deal with the incredible boredom during recovery phases?
I know I need to rest and I do, I just get SO terribly bored when I just lie around all day.
I'm at 7 months after working through it for 20 years. The problem is, I'm at the point where I need to go back to work or leave for good. I can't afford to leave for good, but I just can't go back right now, either. :-(
Same I think this will be my last week and it is such a struggle
Are there options to go onto disability support? Not everyone has this option sadly but I thought Id mention it because many ppl dont know they have this option. Sometimes talking with a family doctor or therapist can help you to find resources for what you need right now.
@@indigo8337 After pulling up my bootlaces and applying, I'm waiting to hear back whether they think I'm full of crap or not. The problem is the very act of filling out paperwork, asking for help and the communication/initiative needed to get it done is EXACTLY what I'm burnt out on and can't handle at work. I can do what I'm a specialist at, but it's just the amount of paper-chasing and keeping timecards filled and checking in with 45 random people on a random basis and other bureaucratic BS I can't handle right now.
And yes, this is even with therapist help, diagnosis, etc.
After a massive burnout My “autistic traits” magnified.
Same
It's the worst with kids, when you don't really get time off lol
Yeah, I'm a mom of a two year old and her dad is dead 10mos, and there's just no break.
@@mujergata222 sorry to hear that, must be very tough
I’m on the fence about this for this very reason! Not being able to have a break scares me
@@KerryNeeds might be alright if you have parents or other support to watch the kid (s) sometimes
Oh my God. This video is so relatable. I'm totally at my limit, about to have a week off starting Saturday but I already made a bunch of social commitments... dammit haha.
what do you do when you cant drop things? I cant let things pile up bc I cant catch up on. I cant go to part time bc I have a dentist appt coming up, and mediciaid wouldnt cover that office, and I have bad cavities bc Im not functioning. EVERYTHING feels like a demand, i wash laundry at a nursing home for a living, and every single item i fold is excrutiaing, I know I need to let go to heal, but I cant! what the hell am i supposed to do! I cant let my teeth rot, but I dont think I can do this for another month!
Who just recovered from burnout and just got this video recommended? O Great YT IA!
I have a burnout about once a month, then a week or 2 to recover, 1-2 weeks ""functional"" and then I have a meltdown and burn again. I'm exhausted and this is not working :( I need a BIG break but it feels like it's never enough and that life is slipping away
Thank you for sharing your experience. Any advice on how to deal when we don't have the option to take the time off? I work 9-5 and I can't just decide not to work when I am going through autistic burnout. Just recovering from one now but feels like it lasted for almost 2 months as I can't actually reduce my work hours...
I understand you well. I am sorry you go through burnout. Sometimes estimula drains me without me noticing. Maybe you are pushing yourself too hard. Be gentle with yourself ♥️ we tend to think we should accomplish this and that commitment without realizing it is not good for our health. I am 65yo I can only do one or two errands during the day to come back to my bedroom and rest. That if I want to function tomorrow. Sometimes I take 1/2 hour breaks no lights flat in the bed listening to soft music to regulate myself. A pain in the back is the sign that I went too far. When the pain goes away means I am regulated and may get up and keep going. You are young, I hope you find your own way to recover on an everyday basis so burn out is under “control” ha! I need to do it to avoid melt down and shut down. I don’t want to be in burn out the rest of my life. It’s been a while. A whole life with out care and diagnose really deteriorated my health on every sense. I learned to let go and release the need to have control of the situation. Your health and your emotions are more important than anything else. Take care, much love. Namaste 🙏🏼
I recover by reading in my bible as much as a can because it makes my so much joyful... in Psalm 119 I realized how I could pray to God...
Its so meaningful to know my real identity in Christ... I love to take time with my creator to realize my purpose in this specific time
Glad it works for you.
Being forced into christianity from a very young age, those post usually make me gag.
Keep up with what makes you happy, just don't expect it to work for everyone :)
@@muurrarium9460 here there are 2 links for you:
ruclips.net/video/1SMR-OzlvQQ/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/F6wpu3jXzA8/видео.html
I know what you mean. It's about focusing on what is important in life. Not worrying that you are letting people down etc. but trusting in God to strengthen you for what's important and trusting God to take care of everything that is not your burden to bear. I find peace in the storm because I know my failings are forgiven and he loves me so faithfully. Jesus said "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." He knows us!
@@mwundisclosed ain't nobody watching all that shit lol
Great to see you back, Paul. This was a really helpful video for me. Thank you so much.
I'm glad you took the time. I know I need time off, but short of passing out or ending up in the hospital, I can't afford to tell my temp agency or client no. It's causing health problems, and I may have no choice but to say no, maybe even as soon as this week. I only have enough money to live on for a few weeks if that happens, and family can maybe help for a month, but it's hard to find work around here, especially work I can physically do. Hadn't expected telecommuting to take this much of a toll.
I appreciate your analogy of "it doesn't matter how low the cost is if you don't have the money." I feel I can extend the metaphor -- we can use caffeine or stimulants (legal or not) to give ourselves a line of credit, so to speak -- but we still have to pay the bill, and now with interest.
I need the rest of my life off
I can't afford to take anything more than my 7 vacation days off a year and an occasional unppaid sick day once in a blue moon. Is it possible to recover from burn out while working 40 hours a week plus some weekends? Some days all I do is work and go home and go to bed. Kinda getting to be a pointless existence.
Thank you so much for sharing, I don't currently have the spoons to share much insight, but I found this reassuring while feeling like I'm in chronic burn out. ✨
Listening to this made me recognize my own mood patterns recently, and in past situations. Sooo busy and stressed that I’m hair-trigger from exploding and feeling exhausted all the time, then I get a small relief and immediately feel better and energized as if the still-heavy workload was nothing. And then one thing happens and suddenly I’m exhausted again. Burnout is way too real a thing.
I don’t get it. How are you supposed to support yourself, if you don’t have a significant other who can support you while you recover.? What are we supposed to do?! I have to go to work, are we all supposed to be on disability?
This is something to consider
I took off from high school until Labor Day because I didn't want to burn out
When I was working, I could only work 4 days a week. I didn't know WHY, I just knew that was optimal for ME.
People tried to fight back, bosses wanted more.
I told them, "do you want a burned out employee? Or do you want 4 days of an excellent employee?"
I didn't mean to me rude or mean, I just knew I had a limit. Now, I understand I'm likely an aspie
Thank you sincerely, I was completely losing it, not understanding what was happening me and why all my efforts in compensating leads me to even more suffering and exhaustion.
This really helped get a different point of view
I was listening to this with some noise cancelling headphones, and kept hearing loud thumping. I just spent the last 10 minutes investigating my house for the cause and finally realized that the thumping is in the background of this video. 😅
As someone who thrives off of creative tasks (writing, drawing, editing, reading, etc.), I tend to be very work-minded and therefore I have a harder time giving myself a break when I need one. During the days when I have no choice but to rest, I get easily bored because there’s no excitement where I live, especially during the pandemic. Today, though, I found a small bit of joy in socializing on Twitter and going for an evening walk to the convenience store for a bottle of Diet Coke and a Hungry Man TV dinner. The music I was listening to during my walk also put some pep in my step whether it was “A Certain Shade of Green” by Incubus, “Savin’ Me” by Nickelback, or “The Leader of the Broken Hearts” by Papa Roach. My big takeaway: if I’m doing something different from what I’m normally doing, then different is good. Even something as small as journaling out in the living room instead of in my bedroom was different.
you recover from burnout by socialization? I can't socialize during burnout. it's just too much stress.
I am almost certain i have aspergers but i am at school (15m). So i am unable to take breaks, especially that i am in an exam year. What do i do?
Boy, can I relate. I feel the same for a few weeks now and your video gave me a boost. Take as long a break as you need. We're happy to see you happy. Plus the thicker beard looks nice 😉
Thank you. I'm in the middle of a burnout, and I needed to hear all of this.
Those are very informative tips and info!! i just found out the word 'autistic burnout' which explained perfectly to what happen to me last year and this year. This lockdown really trigger my autistic trait.
Been feeling burned out lately. I have trouble getting up in the morning. I've been more tired than usual these past few days. I just got my PhD, and I'm trying to land an entry-level job for experience. I write fanfics and mess around with Audacity as hobbies, but I've struggled a lot with my writing as of late. The older I get, the less energy and patience I have with myself.
I have autism and I'm not sure if I have burnout from my autism or from The world we've become in these last 2 years
I'm wondering if that's what happened to me in college. I went from being on top of everything in school to barely being able to meet deadlines let alone doing other things
I have had such massive burn-outs in life that I think I am finally done not listening to what my body and brain are telling me! Hopefully I'll never get in that deep of a hole again. I do what's right for me now, no self-judgement, no shame. We have to live at the right pace for ourselves, it's just not worth the fall-out to push way past our limits. When we advocate for ourselves and expect our needs to be respected it allows others to do the same, it can be a true act of generosity.
It's great you're able to take 2 weeks off 😀 but what about work and family? 🤯
It's even more fun with lots of chronic illnesses on top, M. E and ehlers danlos to name but two
I find it so hard to not feel the need to 'catch up' after I've had a big burnout. It's an exhausting cycle 😔
Hi Paul - as one of your patreon supporters, PLEASE take the time off you need to keep yourself healthy! We love your videos and are happy to have them on your schedule when you're able and there's no reason to push yourself beyond your healthy limits. I can't speak for others but your past videos have already helped me so much that I would be happy to keep supporting you even if you didn't make another video for a couple of years if you needed to take that much time off. Do what you need to do m8, its all good!
Thank you so much for this video. This is so helpful for me to hear someone else feeling the same way. And you are very good at coming up with strategies and then explaining them to others.
Also, I really like your videos when you are sitting down at your desk. Being close to the camera, in that format, feels like I'm listening to a friend or a counsellor. Thank you for this extremely helpful content.
So glad you can afford to stop. Some of us don't have that luxury
This happened to me at my last job and ultimatley I had to quit because of it. Even though I would express to others and provide lists of things that needed to be kept up with while I was away things would get "saved for me" because I was "better at them" and slowly as we got busier and I had more work with less support my time from recovery to burnout again was maybe 30 mins-2 hours. Unfortunately the standard workplace is not a very accomodating place and it's on'y getting worse as companies try to extract more profit and labour from fewer workers on staff
I remember my first autistic burnout when i was 15 and i took two weeks off and just played on my own out in nature where it was quiet. Since then i've had to do this once every couple of years and sometimes multiple times a year. Sadly most employers don't understand and i've lost my job so many times including just recently. I'm 58 now and people assume you grow out of it but you don't.
Great analogy... if I don't have the 20c (energy) it doesn't matter how low the cost.
@Tom Gibson congrats on your studies. Yes I identify as high functioning ASD. I am a holistic health coach in my own biz. The classic medical environment didn't suit me!
Thank you so much for sharing this and explaining what has been happening, to me, for so many years!
I went murderously hard, like WAY harder than I should, for years, until I got laid off last year. I took a 40% pay cut to draw unemployment, but the time off has opened my eyes to a few things. I haven't left my house in I don't know how long besides absolutely essential trips. And it's been a boon for my mental well-being
I found out I am Autistic a month ago. I wasn't far away from a full break down I think... I have been out of action for almost a month and still feel so far away from the me I used to be. Not sure who that even was. I am trying to be patient with myself. I am 38 and I guess I have 38 years worth of unraveling to do. Thank you for your show. It has been very helpful.
I have been highly anxious, stressed, mentally exhausted and my brain can't do more that 1 thing at a time...if even 1 thing. My emotions are all over the place. Hoping to exit the fog soon.