Why You Need To Be Open and Independent In Your Relationship

Why You Need To Be Independent and Open in Your Relationship
When you're not independent, you're dependent. In the context of a relationship, "dependency" is your requirement for your relationship to exist so you can feel emotionally or psychologically actualized.
This is the same as saying, you aren't whole without the relationship.
Why is that bad?
People are trained, from a time immemorial, that for them to feel secure, they must find a partner which can provide for them - especially true with women. This is how and why women in our society carry over messed up psychology such as making sure to please men for their actualization - otherwise they should feel shame and guilt.
The reality is, women are taught directly or indirectly that she has to be very good at pleasing her sponsor.
(only girls, not boys, are taught: "What Daddy doesn't know won't hurt him." - because "Daddy" is her sponsor and soon, "Daddy" will be replaced by "Hubby", her next sponsor).
Women aren't taught to be free, not in our society.
The outcome of this in relationships-dynamics is she will negotiate her 'sexual exclusivity' with a male partner/provider in exchange with his provision of security-exclusivity to her and her offsprings for the rest of her life.
And of course the inevitability that when each person grants themselves to another, they'll eventually and almost instantly FEEL taken for granted... and FEELING taken for granted IS the death of every loving relationship.
This is why you need to open your relationship where it prevents either parties as being granted to another - that they're there strictly by choice.
Furthermore, IF/WHEN either parties feel they're in the relationship because it's obligation, that they must be encouraged to be able to leave that relationship without emotional or psychological punishment. OTHERWISE, they'll only remain there because they're obligated to be, which is the death-trap of every monogamous or closed polyamorous relationships.
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