3 Stoic Practices That Ended My Crippling Depression

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  • Опубликовано: 25 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 1,3 тыс.

  • @ColeHastings
    @ColeHastings  3 года назад +175

    The first 1,000 people to use this link will get a 1 month free trial of Skillshare: skl.sh/colehastings09211

    • @omarsheikh988
      @omarsheikh988 3 года назад

      The only book for your all answers are in the Quran book, give it ago then speak.

    • @EasyHeat
      @EasyHeat 3 года назад

      Ezdrummer2 on that kit rock. I have the same kit ; )

    • @cesarpreciado4285
      @cesarpreciado4285 3 года назад +1

      This is a good philosophy, next to Buddhist philosophies you should check it out.

    • @themacocko6311
      @themacocko6311 3 года назад

      I tend to like the Eastern philosophies better overall. Marcus is actually my least favorite stoic philosopher, too.

    • @themacocko6311
      @themacocko6311 3 года назад

      The hell are you doing with a chick that needs/is/has to "shit test" you in the first place?! If you tolerate girls playing games with you, then you get girls that play games with you. You beat the game by not not being subject to the game.

  • @consciousandaware
    @consciousandaware 3 года назад +1890

    “ You are in control over yourself not outside events “ understanding this really changed my life 💯

    • @lunchboplays7050
      @lunchboplays7050 3 года назад +12

      Dude not if ur in jail or with strict parents 🤣

    • @ajgiza9866
      @ajgiza9866 3 года назад +15

      epictetus

    • @lunchboplays7050
      @lunchboplays7050 3 года назад

      @@ajgiza9866 ? what

    • @RygelXVI
      @RygelXVI 3 года назад +33

      I must disagree. We are not even in control of ourselves, no totally. We can controi some of it, but if we have bad genes there is nothing we can do about that. We are not even in control of our minds. Some can control their mind a little bit of with a lot of practise, but for the most part our minds are out of our control and stay so no matter how hard we try. The illusion that we can control our minds is caused by peaceful life and is due to sheer luck.

    • @gtcspth6916
      @gtcspth6916 3 года назад +2

      well by controlling yourself you can control outside events

  • @tomsawyerpiper9412
    @tomsawyerpiper9412 3 года назад +2165

    Stoic philosophy in three easy steps.
    1: Recognize that to live is to suffer.
    2: Recognize that you cannot change point 1.
    3: Accept suffering as the universal truth it is and stop caring when it happens to you.

    • @ilqar887
      @ilqar887 2 года назад +32

      Can I also consider my chronic pain number 1 rule?

    • @Sashimiburger
      @Sashimiburger 2 года назад +95

      Isn't that just Buddhism?

    • @thepopeshat8029
      @thepopeshat8029 2 года назад +71

      That's easy to say, harder to do.

    • @AdityaRaj-rh4fm
      @AdityaRaj-rh4fm 2 года назад +21

      Man would mean a lot if you elaborate point 1, cuz acc. to it, what's the point of living then?

    • @ilqar887
      @ilqar887 2 года назад +36

      @@AdityaRaj-rh4fm to find joy in suffering

  • @AhmetKaan
    @AhmetKaan 3 года назад +564

    *"Sometimes you must hurt in order to know, fall in order to grow, lose in order to gain because life's greatest lessons are learned through pain."*

  • @stoogey1
    @stoogey1 2 года назад +178

    Number 2 hit me hard.
    From the age of 9-14 my mom, dad, grandad, brother and uncle died.
    I was angry, mad, frustrated and upset thinking “why did this happen to me.”
    I’m about to turn 43 and it took me this long to turn it into a positive.
    I’m starting a channel to give people tips, tricks and motivation to help people grieve in a positive way.

    • @adversary7038
      @adversary7038 2 года назад +21

      God damn bro u went threw some shit, I hope you’re doing well now, May God bless u

    • @himara6302
      @himara6302 2 года назад +11

      You are an absolute inspiration. Stay strong.

    • @stoogey1
      @stoogey1 Год назад +3

      @kit katt feeling like I was a failure for not saving any of them

    • @ivanathompson1414
      @ivanathompson1414 Год назад +2

  • @care4rami
    @care4rami 3 года назад +724

    Marcus Aurelius is literally one of my favorite people to read about. Ever since i started following values of stoicism, i’ve gained more respect with not only myself, but also the way of life. one of his quotes that always stuck in my head was “It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” 💫

    • @dylon4906
      @dylon4906 3 года назад +21

      "If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."

    • @kartikhegde533
      @kartikhegde533 3 года назад +4

      I'm sceptical about all things. But Stoic principles make sense to a large extent.

    • @davidg7639
      @davidg7639 2 года назад

      so how to begin to live?

    • @firetopman
      @firetopman 2 года назад +1

      Memento mori.

    • @mrmc2465
      @mrmc2465 2 года назад

      I agree Marcus aurealis and big Joe Joyce are the only 2 lads you'll ever need

  • @vickieakers9014
    @vickieakers9014 Год назад +9

    How could anyone possibly hate this guy ?! Helping people improve their lives has got to be the best thing you could do in this world .. I love this guy

  • @IsaacJoshi
    @IsaacJoshi 3 года назад +842

    There are only 3 things that are certain in life, death, taxes and Cole posting the exact video I need at the right time.

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +63

      hahaha

    • @snubdawg1386
      @snubdawg1386 3 года назад +8

      ok then it's obvious why you have depression

    • @thelondoners-lifeisart
      @thelondoners-lifeisart 3 года назад +3

      Haha - awesome 👏

    • @caveman354
      @caveman354 3 года назад +4

      Wether cole posts or not, we all must remain stoic!

    • @swiftumbra2748
      @swiftumbra2748 3 года назад +11

      @@snubdawg1386 Because depression can be genetic and people have predispositions to it. Being depressed isn't a choice, facing it and learning to live with it is.

  • @smhere
    @smhere Год назад +15

    "Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one." - Marcus Aurelius
    As a reader of "7 Habits of Highly Virtuous Stoics," I've realized that true wisdom comes from taking action, not just debating theory. This book has given me the tools to cultivate daily habits that align with my values and help me become the best version of myself.

  • @AhmetKaan
    @AhmetKaan 3 года назад +308

    *Whenever I feel like giving up, I just think about why I started.*
    I don't know you personally but I wish you the best in your life. You are loved and needed.
    - a personal development RUclipsr 🙃

    • @punithrahul1379
      @punithrahul1379 3 года назад +2

      I subscribed you when I seen your comment in hamza ahmed and ice coldjt channel
      Can you name any other productive RUclips channel
      Your channel is subscribed and hitted that bell

    • @JeremyStittsandtheJourney
      @JeremyStittsandtheJourney 3 года назад

      Thanks bro for the motivation

    • @IsaacJoshi
      @IsaacJoshi 3 года назад +1

      @@punithrahul1379 Rahul I make productivity videos also!

    • @punithrahul1379
      @punithrahul1379 3 года назад +1

      @@IsaacJoshi I seen your videos
      Subscribed it but make sure to upload atleast a video every week without fail
      Off topic question..
      Are u indian born or your are parents are indian sub continent

    • @danaep.3501
      @danaep.3501 3 года назад

      Thank you for this .I wish you health and happiness

  • @walkingdeadxx1723
    @walkingdeadxx1723 3 года назад +98

    Thank you Cole
    Me and my wife had an argument yesterday , today was filled with frustration and negativity. After watching this , I woke her up and kissed her told her I loved her .

    • @LordDante-oj7jo
      @LordDante-oj7jo 2 года назад +7

      You should have ignored her until she came to you.

    • @anasikon8976
      @anasikon8976 2 года назад +1

      Silence is never an option

    • @Anj_bruh
      @Anj_bruh 2 года назад +18

      @@LordDante-oj7jo that's not being rational. That's only gonna hurt both of them

    • @mattsomething4371
      @mattsomething4371 Год назад

      Lord Dante. You can’t control the situation at all so your comment is useless.

    • @dogeprissy9850
      @dogeprissy9850 Год назад

      After she fucked some other guy lol.

  • @Nik-wu1iv
    @Nik-wu1iv 3 года назад +183

    Lady Gaga's "Rain on Me" helped me in my journey to fight depression. I just accepted that there is a high possibility that I may never have 100% happy days 100% of the time, so I should just celebrate a small event that made my day better and ironically just roll my eyes when crappy period doesn't seem to end.

    • @nihilist_lol
      @nihilist_lol 3 года назад +5

      Hahahah you need lady gaga to come to that realisation?? 🤦‍♂️😂

    • @toxiccool6205
      @toxiccool6205 3 года назад +36

      @@nihilist_lol it does not matter which route wisdom is acquainted.

    • @nihilist_lol
      @nihilist_lol 3 года назад +2

      @@toxiccool6205 its pathetic.

    • @KrisVic91
      @KrisVic91 3 года назад +11

      Nobody will ever have 100% happy days, 100% of the time my friend.
      There is nothing wrong with you for having bad days.

    • @censedfear
      @censedfear 3 года назад +25

      @@nihilist_lol Being a douche bag to people on the internet is quite pathetic.

  • @olubunmiolumuyiwa
    @olubunmiolumuyiwa 2 года назад +65

    This really makes me appreciate God and my mum more. Without knowing it, she's followed stoicism by following the Bible. She always says "Do your best and leave the rest to god", "don't speak too much", "no matter what happens, God looks out for you". Right now i'm going through the withdrawel of a breakup and i see that in the end, it leads to a greater purpose.
    Thank you for making this video

    • @ayoolukoga9829
      @ayoolukoga9829 2 года назад +2

      Then certain philosophers of the Epicureans, and of the Stoicks, encountered him. Acts 17:18

    • @kerenstar13
      @kerenstar13 2 года назад +5

      The teachings of Jesus Christ encapsulate every thing we need to know and do to live a life that will unite us with God our Creator, after our life on earth 🙏

    • @shasmi93
      @shasmi93 Год назад

      I mean, if it helps you, right on, just know that man-made religions are a lie. All of them.

    • @olubunmiolumuyiwa
      @olubunmiolumuyiwa Год назад +2

      ​@@shasmi93 I started having faith in God and Jesus a few months after making this comment.
      My understanding of the world has become deeper and i've been led to a deeper purpose.
      I agree that all man-made religions are a lie. That's why I'm a Christian and not a Muslim, Jewish or other. Because Christianity isn't man-made. It's real

    • @shasmi93
      @shasmi93 Год назад

      @@olubunmiolumuyiwa na dude. Christianity is also a lie. But if it helps people than more power to them. I’m just telling you to be careful with anything church related because that’s how religions suck gullible people dry. Be aware at all times when you are doing ANYTHING Christianity related. Because it’s a lie and scene made to take advantage of people.

  • @TheDhammaHub
    @TheDhammaHub 3 года назад +264

    Stoicism and the Eastern schools of thought really have a lot in common!

    • @owengonzales53
      @owengonzales53 3 года назад +15

      Yeah kinda reminds me of the idea of being unattached from buddhism

    • @Julian_Bertsch
      @Julian_Bertsch 3 года назад +11

      Exactly bro, I‘m working on a video on buddhism and I realized that stoicism and buddhism have a lot of similarities

    • @TheDhammaHub
      @TheDhammaHub 3 года назад

      @austin smith well, if you discover the current moment, you practice and thereby do spiritual things... mindfulness leads to presence ;D

    • @LeileeBaker805
      @LeileeBaker805 3 года назад +1

      🧘‍♀️not in control of external events

    • @robinle2971
      @robinle2971 3 года назад +8

      That's why they're saying stoicism is the Western Buddhism ^^

  • @GrowthMindsetChannel
    @GrowthMindsetChannel 3 года назад +426

    "The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts." ~ Marcus Aurelius 🙏😊
    Love the video Cole, thanks for creating another banger

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +9

      Thank you

    • @noexcuses5524
      @noexcuses5524 2 года назад

      It is all about our mind. Some people they become a prisoner bcus of their mindset

  • @mikeymorrison272
    @mikeymorrison272 3 года назад +79

    I spent most of 2020 (first nine months) extremely depressed to the point I thought about suicide. When I started reading into stoicism (especially Mediations) and getting more spiritual I got much better. A year later and I am proud to say I am the happiest I ever been

    • @ayoolukoga9829
      @ayoolukoga9829 2 года назад

      Then certain philosophers of the Epicureans, and of the Stoicks, encountered him. Acts 17:18

    • @OrphicB
      @OrphicB 2 года назад +1

      Same, lately I have gotten more spiritual and welcomed God into my life even though I am not religious

  • @staceyonthesocials
    @staceyonthesocials 3 года назад +22

    "Why would I choose a mindset that makes suffering and the mistakes I make more difficult to deal with", so good🙌🏽

  • @LK-vf9uc
    @LK-vf9uc 2 года назад +36

    I wish our children were taught these principles at school. Complaining, anger, depression are too widespread in today's society. Very good video, thank you.

    • @messiweltmeista
      @messiweltmeista 2 года назад

      I still don’t grasp why this happens

    • @frostskog7958
      @frostskog7958 2 года назад

      @@messiweltmeista social media stuff my dude

    • @CobraDove1111
      @CobraDove1111 Год назад

      Please wake up. Schools are public indoctrination camps to make children into dumbed down, obedient debt slave adults

  • @dantepepper
    @dantepepper 3 года назад +97

    It's simply amazing how these ancient teaching translate so seamlessly into modern daily life shows no matter how complex life can get all human have common principles that can improve our lives despite our differences within ourselves and our times

    • @oneidea1121
      @oneidea1121 2 года назад +2

      Civilisation starts way sooner than depicted.
      “History is a set of lies agreed upon”
      -Napolean Bonaparte

  • @care4rami
    @care4rami 3 года назад +84

    the fear you feel is a survival tool. it helps to keep you alive. just don’t let it turn you into a coward.
    💫

  • @KathleenJean53
    @KathleenJean53 3 года назад +27

    I have been sick for six years with Lyme disease. Over this time I have had many responses to this challenge, a lot of regret, a huge feeling of loss, imagining what I would have accomplished in those years, what my life might be. I have come to accept things as they are, do what I can, do less and be ok with that, do what I can. The letting go and letting things just be has taken a lot of thought. I do have power over my mind, not anything else. I do have the ability to laugh, laugh at myself and live in the moment. I still have worry but try to push through it to some positive thought or action. I know I need to work on thinking before I speak. I often forget and regret things said. Less is better all around. Slow is better. Intentional is better.

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +8

      You are strong as hell for that! Keep going and thank you for sharing

  • @Trick-Framed
    @Trick-Framed 2 года назад +25

    From experience. If you pack down all of these emotions without a release, you will eventually break. Food for thought. You can be stoic, however you need an outlet for the emotions you think you are letting go. This guy has this channel. Find your outlet before you journey down the path to stoicism or find yourself middle aged with regrets.

    • @ricksantiago9768
      @ricksantiago9768 2 года назад +1

      Yes very valid point! How would you suggest someone release their emotions? What works best for you?

    • @Trick-Framed
      @Trick-Framed 2 года назад

      @@ricksantiago9768 I'm not a practicing pro so I wouldn't. I can say it's different for everyone so work with your professionals to figure it out.

    • @Respect2theFallen
      @Respect2theFallen 2 года назад +2

      Ya ive been practicing this basically for my whole life without knowing there was a word for it and few explosions were had when I got in few fights at school or yelled at family. Then pretty much went back to being stoic for about 10 years and exploded and went to a dark place. I would like to have a happy medium but it's difficult

    • @JulietteKernDiamond
      @JulietteKernDiamond Год назад +2

      @Rick Santiago exercise, Journaling, therapy, yoga!

  • @Rihcterwilker
    @Rihcterwilker 3 года назад +84

    Stoicism has such a simple, yet powerful message. I was worried about a situation that happened at work, and just by listening at this, i feel relieved.

    • @rorocio93
      @rorocio93 3 года назад

      Luke Skywalker ❣️

    • @pauldirc..
      @pauldirc.. Год назад

      May you make video on what's the purpose of life ( I am having existential crisis ) and what is happiness , yeah I know these are philosophical questions and you are not philosopher
      But I want to know your perspective

    • @Rihcterwilker
      @Rihcterwilker Год назад

      @@pauldirc.. there's a movie that plays with the concept of wanting to understand the meaning of life, called Martyrs(2008). It is a psychologic thriller, with some explicit scenes, but it touches on the idea that life has no real meaning, you're the one that has to give meaning to it.
      Knowing the meaning of life would render our journey in this existence pointless, so we have to make an effort to spend our time in the most enjoyable way possible, and i don't mean it in the sense of pleasure, but learning to enjoy the simple moments in life, appreciating a quiet afternoon with our family, having a conversation with friends once in a while, or even taking some minutes to read a book or watch a video about a topic of our interest.
      I think it is a little cliché, but that quote that says "enjoy the moment" it's the most correct way to live. The present is all we have, so there's no need to bother with the past or the future too much. We should definitely do our part, study, exercise, try to improve ourselves, help whoever is in need. For external events, that is beyond our control. As Spike from Cowboy Bebop would say: "whatever happens, happens"

    • @Breakaway-ic5gj
      @Breakaway-ic5gj Год назад

      ​@@pauldirc.. The meaning of life is to live, so just keep doing your job, the things you need to to live, you probably only have one life you might as well live it because there are a lot of fun things in it. Or there just is no meaning at all, but that allows you to make your own meaning. True happiness is not any sort of material wealth, because things such as expensive clothes or food or a car, are just the normal variants of those things but overpriced and fancier. True happiness is just found in the little things of life, look out for them and you'll find them. Generally it's stuff like helping others, doing the right thing and even putting a smile on someone's face is a really good feeling. If you don't get thanked, that's fine too because doing the thing is its own reward, as deep down we love ourselves the most, more then other, so our opinion of ourself is more important than others. Our opinion of ourself only improves by doing the right things, being selfless, helping others, being kind to them but
      if they don't thank you and even get offended by you, it's fine. Do listen closely to them and try to imagine what they are thinking, because if they point out a flaw, you can correct yourself, correcting yourself and apologizing is a very great act aswell since it's your own will and you made yourself better, therefore improving your opinion of yourself. So if you get thanked, very cool, if not, then it doesn't matter because of the reasons stated above. This is what I can think of off the top of my head

  • @leonelpenarosario8044
    @leonelpenarosario8044 3 года назад +35

    I think anytime you feel great about something you are doing, you're not wasting your time at all. You're enjoying your existence and it's ok, we don't come to live working or doing things we don't feel comfortable doing. Instead, I think we really waste our time when we procure feel drained by things that simply aren't worth it or that we can't control.
    A big hug for you all!

    • @connorkearley7381
      @connorkearley7381 3 года назад +1

      hserno

    • @derealratos6332
      @derealratos6332 3 года назад

      @@connorkearley7381 I agree. Almost everything I do on a daily basis are things I want to do, things I am proud of ^_^

  • @toadsagetimmy
    @toadsagetimmy 2 года назад +16

    Stoicism saved my life and helped me battle leukemia for three years

  • @samuricexful
    @samuricexful 3 года назад +153

    The first step is to get off of social media and stop interacting with all those angry and depressed people. You are the people who you spend time with…

    • @ryk6207
      @ryk6207 3 года назад +12

      The funny thing is, I’m repulsed by those people IRL, and yet I tend to get sucked into their shit online.

    • @kathyalex778
      @kathyalex778 3 года назад +3

      100%

    • @ChipChurp
      @ChipChurp 2 года назад +8

      So true my dad would always tell me showe your friends and I'll show you your future .stop being around losers and energy vampires

    • @upbestsalt1551
      @upbestsalt1551 2 года назад +1

      I'm not 18 yet and I'm low on money

    • @ladybird491
      @ladybird491 2 года назад

      @@ryk6207 same here. And then I be like damn. 🤣

  • @biondna7984
    @biondna7984 2 года назад +11

    All my life I've wanted to speak plainly and concisely, in complete contrast to my usual stream-of-consciousness rambling. I'm diagnosed with ADHD, am a multimedia artist and writer, so it seems like this just comes with the territory. But whenever I've paused, used silence, and spoken carefully and plainly, I love how much more powerful I feel. I really like the responses I get from people, too. I'm continuing to work on this. And I much prefer learning and moving along, to the boring sound of my voice complaining.

  • @Chriss121
    @Chriss121 2 года назад +5

    My depression period went over a couple of years. I didn't know how or where to start again, after thinkining i had lost everything. The first moment it got better was to accept everything there is and trust "the universe" or god or whatever you want to call the greater part of us and taking the responsibility for my thoughts and behaviour. It's a lifetime practice

  • @wrmlm37
    @wrmlm37 2 года назад +5

    Stoicism taught me, among other things, is that you need to allow for your emotions to be set aside when making decisions. This was one of the most difficult skills for me, as I had been a severely restrained, by necessity, emotional thinker. Don't believe your feelings! Believe what you say, do what is meaningful to you, and demonstrate who you want to be through your actions, not just your words. The other skill is embracing obstacles. This was amazing for me. Thanks for your take on this.

  • @pasthepast
    @pasthepast 3 года назад +28

    I think stoicism is more a reorganization of values, meaning that once we start valuing virtue more, anything else that happens to us, will hurt us less. We won't become invincible, just we devalue certain things and value some things more.

    • @jordyvandeven3954
      @jordyvandeven3954 3 года назад +2

      you're right. through that reorganization of values, you start to realize how insignificant some of the hardships are. you remind yourself of what you value, and in turn of how lucky you are to have those things, despite of those hardships that you may go through.

  • @moadharrat7760
    @moadharrat7760 3 года назад +26

    I think the thing that could end your sadness is this quote " Momento mori "
    Just think about it , if you're gonna die , why bother feeling negative feelings and wasting your time on them like it's the end of the world ??? I hope that help someone 💛

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +7

      Helps, but not that easy for some people unfortunately

    • @moadharrat7760
      @moadharrat7760 3 года назад

      @@ColeHastings well , i think that it would be easier for religous people , hope you and everyone a great life 💙

  • @holdenludwig_
    @holdenludwig_ Год назад +5

    19 years old driving home with a buddy from school I just graduated 5 days ago, 16 year old girl runs a red as we were going through an intersection… Multiple hospitals, coma for 8-9 weeks, minimally conscious for a 4 months. This was my payment for half assing my way through high school. Yet here I am, proud as hell. I am just appreciative of how a terrible accident has ended up being one of the gifts from the lord, universe or spirit. Please remember PACE positive attitude changes everything. That has brought me this far.

  • @thatsmellsdelicious5146
    @thatsmellsdelicious5146 3 года назад +3

    1. say less than necessary and think before u speak
    (Especially when that threatens the ego.. accept that it’s normal to have the reactions/emotions that you go through)
    2. accept what happens as a positive for yourself and the universe
    3. focus on what u can control, discard the rest (for example what they think abt u)

  • @patriciacedenogonzalez8978
    @patriciacedenogonzalez8978 3 года назад +10

    I loved this phrase you said: "I need this sort of setback so I can look at things more objectively and stay humble". Great insight!

  • @ArtByHazel
    @ArtByHazel 2 года назад +5

    Stoicism is direct to the point. Simple. Being present is a gift. ❤

    • @ayoolukoga9829
      @ayoolukoga9829 2 года назад

      Then certain philosophers of the Epicureans, and of the Stoicks, encountered him. Acts 17:18

  • @rhyssalman9169
    @rhyssalman9169 3 года назад +114

    Agree with this entire video, but I think it's just worth being careful too with this stuff. I went through a phase a few months ago when I wasn't feeling too good mentally, so I decided to live my life based on stoic beliefs, and I think to a point, it made me a bit like a zombie. I had soooo much emotion wanting to be released (good and bad), but for a whole 3 months of my life, I was silent to so many emotions. I definitely still follow some stoic practices, but I just think it's worth looking way into before committing to it.

    • @Cal-El
      @Cal-El 3 года назад +23

      I had went through a phase very similar. I learned the hard way to balance it. So much pent up emotion.. it only takes the right trigger for it all to release- when you least expect it. I personally found that keeping stoic values while having daily decompression methods in isolation, is key.

    • @derealratos6332
      @derealratos6332 3 года назад +32

      Yep. Stoicism emphasizes waiting, then mindfully responding. It also teaches us that when we feel negative emotions, just accept it, and over time it will pass. The key is to practice this every day, so the negative emotions do not build up

    • @chrismartell6135
      @chrismartell6135 3 года назад +50

      Stoicism doesn’t mean being emotionless, it means that you don’t have to act based solely on them in the moment. Self acceptance of emotions is a healthy emotional practise - they are not to be repressed! (Speaking as a heavily repressed person!) 🌱 ✌️

    • @shaddowmystwolf
      @shaddowmystwolf 2 года назад +1

      Nobody cares

    • @definitelytre3649
      @definitelytre3649 2 года назад

      Yeah with this its best to pace in it. Go by it day by day step by step…you probably felt like a zombie because you were “detoxing yourself” a little to fast with heavy pressure. I think thats why people fall deep onto the wrong side and not cautious of this. Its basically a way to improve life from mind to body but with pace every day of your life. I have been crying for the past weeks just going in that deep thought of emotions and letting them roll

  • @danielspackman7159
    @danielspackman7159 3 года назад +8

    Cole my man this video is gold. I respect the mindset you have equipped yourself with. I don’t know how old you are, but I’m 27 with my own family. I watch you videos to improve my mindset from depression and negative thinking

  • @abhimanyusharma2489
    @abhimanyusharma2489 3 года назад +8

    Hey there , I hope you all are safe and fine .... and enjoying your life .... stay positive and stay calm ....

  • @thatclover123
    @thatclover123 2 года назад +2

    acceptance of what happens has been life changing for me. My mom died almost 20 years ago, up until last year - in my head- i someone kept magically thinking i could change it and was so afraid of accepting it. One day i just let it in, i’m finally healing.

  • @mustknow2487
    @mustknow2487 2 года назад +3

    To everyone who's reading this, I pray that whatever is hurting or whatever you are constantly stressing about gets better. May the darks thought, the over thinking, the doubt exist your mind right now. May clarity replace confusion. May peace and calmness fill your life.

  • @joshuablair252
    @joshuablair252 3 года назад +290

    You were right to be mad at your girlfriend, she was being abusive. Never settle for a woman who "tests your character" by doing super sketchy things and emotionally abusing you.
    The right woman for you will bring you peace. Part of becoming a man of character is learning that most people suck and are not your friends.

    • @kippen64
      @kippen64 3 года назад +44

      It might not have been a test. Maybe she was just getting her hair braided.

    • @paul5324
      @paul5324 3 года назад +16

      Also, there’s no need to be mad. For what does anger bring but suffering in a mere moment of your life? Anger never leads to desirable results. Only temperance and understanding.

    • @Scott-gl4zz
      @Scott-gl4zz 3 года назад +18

      I agree to an extent. His girlfriend is likely in the wrong for doing this, but there are always appropriate ways to respond. You can't control being frustrated but that doesn't mean you HAVE to send that angry text

    • @jcap8391
      @jcap8391 3 года назад +14

      What kinda friend does he have? He was doing more than braiding

    • @JDoe-gf5oz
      @JDoe-gf5oz 3 года назад +8

      @@jcap8391 Stoicism means having an open relationship apparently.

  • @thetriplets2854
    @thetriplets2854 3 года назад +7

    I love how every video is high quality and from the heart. It isn't something you spit out for money. Thank you for the meaningful videos!

  • @YungNio13
    @YungNio13 2 года назад +4

    I realized I naturally do this to the extreme without even knowing what stoicism was. Those 3 points are things I preach to my friends all the time

  • @jmanciaz
    @jmanciaz 3 года назад +7

    I wanted to thank you for posting this. I have always loved Marcus Aurelius' idea of inter-connectivity in the world through phi (the golden mean) idk how I came across this vid being the perfect mixture of my current struggles and Stoicism, but I am at a pretty low point in my life with divorce, COVID wiping out some of my family, medical school and toxic "friendships". Then I ran across "how to stop hating yourself" which is something that I had realized that I do and didn't know where to start to correct it. AND THEN HOW TO BE ALONE.... I am studying medicine in the West Indies and with COVID triggering a curfew and being completely surrounded by water... I am the most alone with my thoughts that I have ever been. These 3 videos have helped me so much and I've jotted down pages of notes. I can't thank you enough. -J

  • @luxypher7475
    @luxypher7475 3 года назад +12

    2:16 this is actually the correct reaction but maybe you shouldn't have done that over text. It's good to let her know the boundaries in the first stages, you did the right thing mate.

    • @aidanmays7825
      @aidanmays7825 3 года назад +2

      Exactly. Best not to lose your cool, but you definitely need to draw a boundary there. Imo that's the point of the shit test. She wants to know you can stick up for yourself and set the rules without falling apart like a child

    • @oldbot64
      @oldbot64 3 года назад +4

      Exactly. What was she trying to test here? To see if he was a beta? Bro if he didn't confront her or do anything, she's going to walk all over him in the future. Basically a test to see if she can do what she wants in the future without repercussions.

  • @aaronkernan2810
    @aaronkernan2810 2 года назад +5

    This video was so good! You didn't just focus on using the practices in really tough moments but even in moments such as failing a test or spending too much time slacking, the little things that can add up. It made the video more personal imo

  • @MrBebop0
    @MrBebop0 Год назад +1

    Stoicism is inspirational. A philosophy that leads you to see life for what it is and making the most of the moment. So simple yet strong.

  • @TitoSilversax
    @TitoSilversax 3 года назад +9

    To those watching this video looking for answers to their depression remember this please: it’s ok to feel depressed - it’s not your fault… it’s also more ok to ask for help for how you feel.

  • @baconshreds1772
    @baconshreds1772 Год назад +1

    I think #2 applies very well to the invention of Stoicism as a whole. Xeno was a wealthy merchant in the Roman area of the world. Sailing one day, all of his wealth was cast to the sea in a violent storm, capsizing his ship. Instead of being a victim and asking why, he founded a philosophy that would go on to help people for thousands of years. Truly, the universe has your best interest.

  • @tunakiller72
    @tunakiller72 3 года назад +11

    bro the timing of the video.... really needed this

  • @JimSting
    @JimSting Год назад

    "Why would I choose a mindset that makes suffering and my mistakes harder to deal with?". This one phrase has helped more than you can imagine.

  • @KudoOne
    @KudoOne 3 года назад +7

    I just gotta say dude your channel has really awoken my persepctive on life and I really can't thank you enough. The fact that you don't have 1 million subscribers right now astounds me. I really hope you make it and reach your dreams because you sure as hell have my support. All the best man.

  • @RealFireAndGlory
    @RealFireAndGlory 2 года назад +3

    I agree with you about health and illness. I almost died 4 months ago in the hospital, so I’m thankful for my improved health.

  • @vinnydesteur9051
    @vinnydesteur9051 3 года назад +4

    I used to have Dark thoughts and feeling lonely for a couple years and what i did was when i lied in bed, i prayed to "the universe" with all the people i know (friend, classmates, People i play sports with) in my mind that they would be ok, and to the universe to make it worse for me if it would mean that they would be better of.

  • @parallelfinn
    @parallelfinn 2 года назад +3

    On the contrary I became too stoic, didn't express myself and bottled up my true feelings. Being silent in the face of conflict usually avoids the conflict at the time, but you'll probably hold onto that internally.

  • @pavansendhil2438
    @pavansendhil2438 3 года назад +4

    Hey Cole and everyone! I'm not particularly depressed but I've had several setbacks recently. This video completely switched my stressed state of mind, I don't know if everything happens for a reason, but that mindset is so much more helpful.

  • @aaronogden9900
    @aaronogden9900 Год назад

    It’s so true what you say about it being something to constantly work on a bit like exercising your mind just like your body. I have a reminder on my phone everyday at 12:00 that says: “Stoic everyday or your a fool.”
    Stoicism helped me out of years of depression and anxiety but I got complacent and let it slip after a decade of tranquility. The reminder is so I think about it everyday and, fate permitting, avoid suffering much mentally for the rest of my life.

  • @BrettMaverick
    @BrettMaverick 3 года назад +50

    Great video man!

  • @edwoods845
    @edwoods845 2 года назад +1

    Everyday is a test of your character.
    The ONLY thing you can control in life is your emotional response to the things that happen
    Everything that happens whether good or bad ultimately happens for good
    Every event of your life presents you with a choice between using that experience to change yourself enough to adapt and overcome your challenges and to accept the multitude of failures you will experience on your path
    Victory is the celebration of those failures

  • @Julian_Bertsch
    @Julian_Bertsch 3 года назад +11

    Great video, stoicism was one of the philosophies that completely changed my life, just the idea of not worrying about the things outside of your control was a huge realization for me 🌊

  • @teshunhao5131
    @teshunhao5131 2 года назад +1

    We must love everyone equally, no matter of their status, looks, race, age or gender. Love propogates 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰Much love to everyone in this beautiful world ! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

  • @12kenbutsuri
    @12kenbutsuri 2 года назад +9

    I don't think you ever went through clinical depression before, from what you suggest. That isn't how it works at all. This is the same logic as "just be happy" with extra steps.

    • @julias8116
      @julias8116 Месяц назад

      He’s not giving you the instructions to treat clinical depression as only medicine helps with that.
      He is giving help to manage the depression which developed by your own mind, not genetics

  • @TenSecondSongs
    @TenSecondSongs 3 года назад +94

    This is important shit.

    • @Cynic-0055
      @Cynic-0055 3 года назад

      You and the 10 Second Man are my favorite. 🥰

    • @DanSung2021
      @DanSung2021 3 года назад

      @@Cynic-0055 you are my favourite

    • @SuperBhavanishankar
      @SuperBhavanishankar 3 года назад

      @@DanSung2021 you are my favorite

  • @nickp3949
    @nickp3949 3 года назад +3

    It sucks for me because my thoughts are intrusive. I have OCD, along with GAD and PTSD. I know, a lot of letters lol. But basically my thoughts are always intrusively attacking me, I can’t control them, they give me massive anxiety, and I’m always in fight or flight mode. Every day feels like the world is ending. I haven’t had true peace in years. I try to meditate, but it just makes the thoughts attack me more. Anything I do that is positive, my OCD tries to turn it into a negative by attaching extreme negative thoughts and worries to the positive thing…which makes me stop doing it because now I get a serious trigger and anxiety attack any time I do that thing. It has made me go to unhealthy coping skills such as drinking and masturbating too much, just so I can be at peace for a little while. I just want peace. I’m not depressed, and I work over 40 hours a week, I really like my job. But my mind is never at peace. I can’t even begin to attempt abt kind of stoicism when I can’t even control my own thoughts. I have zero control over what I think, it’s honestly terrible. It’s like the “pink elephant” thing, if someone tells you not to think of a pink elephant, you’re gonna think about it, and you can’t control yourself thinking about it. That’s me, except it’s all the time. And the thoughts focus on the scariest things imaginable, sending me into a panic attack because of the “what’s ifs” associated with thinking about those things. This causes me to do rituals so I can “reverse the thought” so to speak, and then the anxiety goes away…only for the entire cycle to repeat again. I have the meditations book (and other books such as the secret, the art of war, etc…but my mind prevents me from being able to enjoy these things, and it turns them into a negative experience.

    • @kkkjkk641
      @kkkjkk641 Год назад

      I think I'm in a similar state of mind without having anything diagnosed officially. The only coping mechanism that works consistently is sports or even taking a walk and hard physical labour. Maybe that can Help you too... Unforunately, I often forget about that fact myself, but it's the best I have.

  • @subhasha14v75
    @subhasha14v75 3 года назад +1

    Hi Cole Hastings. I'm from India and we are celebrating teachers' day today here. So I wanna wish you too for sharing your experiences and opinions and teaching us a better way of living. I am so glad that you exist and I found your channel. Keep inspiring us and stay happy ❤🙌

  • @yinconscious
    @yinconscious 3 года назад +8

    Talked about stoicism with my creative writing teacher just yesterday. Great timing cole!

  • @ZachRiccardi
    @ZachRiccardi Год назад +2

    I’m glad to see a quote unquote “normal” person making a video like this. Idk why but I always think you need to have the credentials of daily stoics to teach the values of stoicism on youtube. Great video, and i look forward to seeing more and hearing your interpretation of stoic philosophy!!

  • @kenneth_ol
    @kenneth_ol 3 года назад +6

    Two of my favorite things, Stoicism and Cole Hastings

  • @MasterCast001
    @MasterCast001 3 года назад +1

    Everytime something bad happens to me, the same day, you upload a video exactly talking about it and helping me through it. I can't thank you enough for your work, keep doing it. You don't know how much good you're doing.

  • @Jchamaon
    @Jchamaon 3 года назад +3

    Much better than your last thumbnail, friend! I prefer to concentrate on your wise behaviour and encourage it than to criticise your slips.

  • @krevin543
    @krevin543 Год назад

    Many great points in stoicism!
    What hit the hardest for me was the thought that death does not wait for your future- but is your past.
    Your moments behind you are dead- unchangeable, cemented in time. You are only a being in the present and that you and what you do is constantly dying to past and born anew in the present moment. So make the most of your moment and present! Don’t concern yourself with worry or daydreams about the past which is done, and don’t spend undue time and energy worrying for death in future.

  • @martindominikus8825
    @martindominikus8825 3 года назад +7

    The moment she (constantly) tested you, you should know that she's not worth it. If both of you are really an adult, you know how to avoid temptation and speak respectfully to each other.

    • @castronator29
      @castronator29 3 года назад +1

      Easy to say, hard to do. I mean, leaving someone that you know that may be not for you.

  • @mozzarella_boyy7779
    @mozzarella_boyy7779 Год назад

    It's really nice seeing people invest in Stoicism and its values they are truly helpful regardless of who you are or what your character is like.

  • @terryvans1420
    @terryvans1420 3 года назад +348

    What your girlfriend did was genuine disrespect. Not a s**t test. Your reaction was natural. Not stupid.

    • @prettygirlgamer09.27
      @prettygirlgamer09.27 3 года назад +25

      How dude? She can't get her hair braided professionally? That's like me going to get a haircut by someone else and then my spouse gets upset cause they not doing it. Make it make sense 🤣. I remember one time in my life, I use to get mad over stupid shit like him too, so I can relate. But the argument was pretty unnecessary and he said that himself.

    • @terryvans1420
      @terryvans1420 3 года назад +87

      @@prettygirlgamer09.27 How do you know hair braiding is all that happened? Those who want to be trusted should not act in ways that calls their actions into doubt. Trust is earned.

    • @hialeah1234
      @hialeah1234 3 года назад +114

      @@prettygirlgamer09.27 what girl goes to their boyfriend's house to get her hair braided? Girls go to their girlfriends house, do it themselves or go to the salon. While he probably shouldn't have blown up through text that shit is questionable as fuck.

    • @fiercelunarhavoc4627
      @fiercelunarhavoc4627 3 года назад +46

      @@prettygirlgamer09.27 Bro, who said Skeep was a professional???

    • @sommerprettygirlgamer2719
      @sommerprettygirlgamer2719 3 года назад +20

      Y'all got trust issues. I get what PGG saying. If you don't trust someone,of course you gone doubtful and think the girl did "something else" when getting her hair done. But still, the way he acted was wack.

  • @jsc1jake512
    @jsc1jake512 2 года назад

    Fate or fortune it doesn't matter why something happens. All that matters is whether you can overcome it or let it overcome you.
    With anyone having trouble with social anxiety or depression, I'd like to give you a saying that helped me through some of that: "What they think of me is none of my business" I even tweaked it a bit to better suit a situation: "It doesn't matter what they think of me, I can't control it. All I can control is my reaction their thoughts" and "It makes no difference in my life whether they hate me or not, just as long as I am a friend unto myself."

  • @swordsnorchids1997
    @swordsnorchids1997 3 года назад +7

    My problem is with shallow and meaningless connections within our modern society and feeling very hurt, lonely and misunderstood..
    I’ve been through a lot but it’s still difficult to have compassion and empathy for negative stuff cause there’s too much bad stuff in the world already but we can actually heal and elevate ourselves though it won’t happen magically.

    • @happyvickytoria
      @happyvickytoria 3 года назад

      Set out to be the meaning you wish to see in society

  • @scrapinpennies4365
    @scrapinpennies4365 3 года назад

    "From a rational standpoint, why would i chose a mindset that makes suffering and the mistakes I make, harder to deal with?"
    Wise words, It makes a lot of sense, just because something doesn't exist why shouldn't you favor it's existence for your overall benefit?

  • @AhmetKaan
    @AhmetKaan 3 года назад +50

    *"When something is important enough for you, you do it even if the odds are against you."*
    I hope this message helps you. 🙂

    • @fgfgfg4
      @fgfgfg4 2 года назад

      Im getting clean and this felt like a sign. Damn

  • @SARVAMSUPREMEFLOW
    @SARVAMSUPREMEFLOW Год назад

    Love is light that can emerge from suffering as darkness
    As our universe tell me ☮️

  • @TonysSauceYT
    @TonysSauceYT 3 года назад +3

    Things do happen for a reason & I know for a fact that I stumbled across this video for a reason, this helped me soo much! Thank you for this!

  • @spiraleyes2717
    @spiraleyes2717 Год назад +2

    What helps me Cold showers,meditation,vitamin b12,grounding,nature,creating something

  • @hrvojestilin6256
    @hrvojestilin6256 3 года назад +6

    Your videos are life changing, keep up the great work, we need you Cole and we are also here for you too 💪💪

  • @BoostedPastime
    @BoostedPastime Год назад +1

    Cole seems like a solid dude.
    Some of the best moments of my life have been hours of getting lost in some good Call of Duty

  • @ronivangingoyon7778
    @ronivangingoyon7778 3 года назад +4

    Im currently reading Donald Robertson's "How to think like a Roman Emperor" side by side with Meditations by Marcus Aurelius as translated by Gregory Hays. However, ive read the meditations like 3 times already. I guarantee you some self realizations of epic proportions. Ryan Holiday's The Daily Stoic book and journal is also a great companion. Life becomes more bearable and meaningful.

  • @TheApproachChannel
    @TheApproachChannel Год назад

    I've watched a lot of videos on stoicism, but this one stands out for its engaging visuals and compelling storytelling. It's clear that the creators put a lot of thought and effort into making this content both informative and entertaining.

  • @DoctorIglooman
    @DoctorIglooman 3 года назад +16

    in the past, i tried to apply stoicism in my life. i believe that there is something good about letting genuine emotions come out. i think it’s like what charles aznavour refers to as “cries of hatred that are the final words of love.” emotional responses are a much more meaningful connection between what’s going on in your head and the people around you than words, or factual statements. stoicism fits well in an individualistic environment but it can make it difficult to connect to others. i guess this is just a heads up; watch out with stoicism, it’s not a perfect ideology (which it never intended to be) and it is not always harmless to yourself✌️

    • @CliffordFajardo
      @CliffordFajardo 2 года назад +1

      I agree, we should let genuine emotions come out with intention and care. I've heard some people (not referring to you) say they thought Stoicism is about repressing emotion; I don't believe that to be the case or at least for me that was not the impression from the readings. Bummer for those teaching others that it's about repressing emotions, its not. It takes a whole life to learn how to live and the books of the stoics have been helpful for me ever since I found out about them 4 years ago.
      Cheers and I wish you the best🙏

  • @CyberGopnik2020
    @CyberGopnik2020 2 года назад

    ego is the enemy, obstacle is the way, stillness is the key

  • @kaushikdr
    @kaushikdr 2 года назад +3

    I have a question - if everything that happens to you was meant to be, does it also mean that things you do to others are also correct, regardless of their consequence?
    How does improvement happen with a philosophy like that?

  • @TheGatewayProductions
    @TheGatewayProductions 3 года назад +1

    Depression is harrowing, but it is achievable to free ourselves from it. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise and never lose hope!

  • @formerevolutionist
    @formerevolutionist 3 года назад +23

    "Take care that no one hates you justly."
    -Publilius Syrus

  • @AlokJadva
    @AlokJadva 3 года назад +1

    Hey Cole,
    A couple of questions for you…
    1. What about situations that are much more complex than a significant other? For example, someone who you’re not with officially but have feelings for; do we have to be stoic all the time? What if we want to show we are there for them and need to say more than necessary in order to save someone.
    2. With rule 2, what about things in this world such as rape, abuse, murder- people go through these things and it seems frightening that they’d have to “accept this”. I know this is not what you would say, so I’m not putting words in your mouth, but do you have any thoughts on extreme situations like these, and whether the universe’s law of reason still holds here?

  • @Jordankefasjp
    @Jordankefasjp 3 года назад +20

    I just want to be ok bro😔
    I just want to feel enough, i dont want to feel so tired, lonely, and worthless anymore. I want to stop bringing a negative vibe to people around me cause of my insecurity , but i just cant stop. My head is full of dread and bad thoughts. Even if i know that those voices r lying, i just cant fight them back. I dont know what to do anymore, i've tried it all : working out, healthy sleep, reading a book, etc. But it just doesnt worked..

    • @abhimanyusharma2489
      @abhimanyusharma2489 3 года назад +5

      Disconnect yourself from rest of world and give some time to yourself.... and explore nature and its beauty .... workout , healthy sleep will not gonna workout for you if you're unhappy and sad from inside .... so first achieve a inner piece and then look the world how beautiful and amazing it is ..... hope you get my point ....

    • @thegabbcorner
      @thegabbcorner 3 года назад +4

      don't put so much pressure on yourself to feel good right away. I've been there, constantly beating myself up, being my biggest critic. What helped me was patience. Knowing that I'd have more bad days and acknowledging the small growths. Eventually, the good things will compound and you'll see life differently! Don't be so hard on yourself either. Stop worrying about what other people think of you and start loving yourself.

    • @FranQuijas
      @FranQuijas 3 года назад +3

      Man I feel you so much. The truth is you’re getting better because you’re putting the work into it, maybe you don’t see it or feel it right now, but when you least expect it you will see how you’ll perform better in your overall life. The only thing that you have to work on is on being compassionate to yourself, and accept your mind as it is, let the judgments be judgments and it’s okay to not feel okay, feel every resistance you have. Sending you love man, I resonate with what you’re saying so much, so I know how you feel

    • @eskimojones23
      @eskimojones23 3 года назад

      Magic mushrooms

    • @dominicrivera7170
      @dominicrivera7170 3 года назад

      I think many people have been through a certain level of having to deal with depressing vibes as a hurdle in life, including me. Have you tried following God and Jesus Christ? I reccomend you do. That did it for me,my eyes were opened and my soul was refreshed. I realized the voices in my head were actually demons trying to make me fall and give up. I needed angels and the power of God to strengthen me and bring me out of the pit.
      Philippians 4:6-7
      Psalms 34:4-8

  • @mmaidofsteel
    @mmaidofsteel 2 года назад +2

    First time I've seen one of your vids and it's very refreshing that you take such a candid, honest and creative approach to your content. You're awesome for doing your part to de-stigmatise mental health (as well as eating plant-based and being a drummer), you may never know how many people you've helped and reassured by sharing your experience. Hats off to you, Sir!

  • @avantigayxian952
    @avantigayxian952 3 года назад +3

    This man is carrying my mental health

  • @-r-3656
    @-r-3656 Год назад

    I had a panic attack yesterday and have spent the past >24 hours being afraid of another one. But it’s not within my control so I should not focus on it. It happened for a reason, and it was supposed to be a part of my life.

  • @Luis-tm2gp
    @Luis-tm2gp 3 года назад +5

    Best. Intro. Ever.

  • @aldoeljardinero
    @aldoeljardinero Год назад

    You have no idea how glad I am that I found your channel

  • @Alireza_Egh13
    @Alireza_Egh13 3 года назад +4

    Cole please make a video about how we can stop procrastinating on the thing that we're up to do

  • @yakshkumar6711
    @yakshkumar6711 Год назад

    Hi Cole, I have also been following Stoicism for the last 2 years. I came from India and my whole life my parents told me to follow all stoicism principles but they were inspired by ancient Hindu texts. Ancient Greek culture and Hindu culture were some kinds of the same e.g., polytheism. After reading meditations I realized there were similarities between the two ancient philosophies. If you have time invest some time in "Bhagvat Gita": Ancient Hindu text. It is not a religious book, you will feel like an extension of Stoicism. Thanks for this content. Wish you a lot of courage, wisdom, and temperament.

  • @IsaacJoshi
    @IsaacJoshi 3 года назад +3

    Whenever you feel like you can't go on further, do yourself a favour and see how far you have already come :)