The Narcissist Will Always Comes Back
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- Опубликовано: 10 июл 2024
- Have you ever experienced the confusing and relentless pattern of a narcissist coming back into your life? Are you curious to understand why narcissists engage in hoovering and how it serves as a means of control rather than genuine care?
If you're a woman feeling trapped in a toxic relationship and looking for freedom, you've come to the right place. With over 3000+ clients, I've integrated everything I've learned into a comprehensive program designed to help you reclaim your freedom. My goal is to guide you to break free without confronting or trying to fix him. Together, let's rediscover YOU and cultivate your confidence and clarity. To take the next step in your healing journey with me, visit www.rawmotivations.com/breakt...
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If you're a man struggling with narcissistic traits and seeking the path, community, and transformation that I've experienced, I'm here to help - but only if you are serious about investing the time and energy. To begin this journey with me, schedule a session at www.rawmotivations.com/break-...
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Tune in to hear the perspective of a self aware narcissist. That’s me - Ben Taylor a narcissist in recovery trying to promote awareness, healing, growth and change. I do that by these videos on here, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook.
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Podcast - anchor.fm/rawmotivations
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They come back to test you. They want to make sure you would still answer their calls/texts/knock on your door/that unwanted visit at your workplace. That boosts their ego and they only do it to disappear again and leave you wondering wtf just happened. They enjoy that.
um-huh!!!! humph!!!!
Don’t care … they always come back
Exactly.. mine professed his eternal love for me, wanted me back and then ignored me.
They are extremely crazy!@@Amersboo
I'd say if they don't come back, you've won. And they know you know. 🥰
mine didn’t come back
They might still. They might take the time to wait it out- if you know instead
They always discard again though.
EXACTLY!!!! sing. celebrate!!
I haven’t heard from him in almost 2 years lol
@@Bella-Luna777 nearly 4 years for me... 🎉😆
Maybe we should stop calling them ' My narcissist ' as if they belong to us in some capacity ....
I know where it comes from. Sam Vaknin also dislikes to call it that. However, the narcissists were part of our lives. And if you have been married to one then it is fully normal to call that person my narcissist as it is when you say my wife or my husband.
I don’t see a big of deal in using the possessive pronoun.
Why not! They treat us as if we still belong to them even after they’ve forced us to walk away and won’t talk with us in person!
I mean I have paid a high enough price at this point I think I will use possessiveness if I have the whim. 😢😮❤😂
Just delete their number.
@ianarnold reread what you wrote. That should be reason enough.
Once someone shows you how they are, especially in a disrespectful manner, believe them the 1st time.
They don't come back if you go no contact and close every avenue that they have to get to you. The reason why they come back is because the person wants the narcissist to come back and they leave the opportunity available.
He changed tactics he did force me. Marry him
No one wants the narc to comeback I blocked him everywhere and he still found a way to contact me,they are sick individuals
I want so much to block my ex husband but we share a kid. I still do block him most of the week and then he talks to her on the phone then I block the number again.
@@theliterarytarot hang in there. I went through this, as soon as the kid's got 18, I blocked him... So good😊
not necessarily. dude lives in my building. if he gets on my floor and knocks on my door it won't be because i left the opportunity available. and i wouldn't answer the door. and i pray i do NOT see him before i move!!!! PLEASE, GOD!!!
I think it entirely depends on their new source of supply. They view everybody as objects to be used. They will only return if they see you are of some use to them.
I think as they age out it is more likely that then they’ll try to resupply from previous targets
It's been almost 2.5 years. It would be easier for him to hoover an old supply or engage with an ex in narcissist cementation. If all he wants is money, there's an ex for that. Last word I received was he sold the house he was living in with the former supply and they broke up. He could be going back to other supplies.
Absolutely
@@dianaalyssa8726they never will be satisfied because they will never be satisfied with themselves. Everyone loses all the time with them 😢
Happened to me. Nearly 25 years after dumping him, he sent a FB message to my brother, asking for my address because he “just found a box full” of my stuff he’d like to send me. 🙄
Be strong, if you allow them back they will ghost you again so quickly. They see it as you are allowing the situation to continue and that you accept their behaviour. Honestly it’s been 8 months since he discarded me for the new supply after I gave birth to his son. He has hoovered me multiple times since then because I left the door open. As Ben says, they WILL come back. Bolt the door, lock it and burn the key. That’s what I’ve done now. Been a month of total no contact with him and his minions, and it’s getting better. Yes it’s hard on days where I wonder if he is trying to make contact and can’t because I’ve blocked him on all avenues. Then I get tempted to unblock and delete his number, making up the lie in my head that it’s the same thing. That he is gone and I don’t need his number on my phone in any way. This is self sabotage. I’ve done this before and acted upset when he has reached out shortly after. When really I’ve created the situation through the unblocking. Of course days later he would always ghost me every time. Leaving me distraught and humiliated. I won’t do it again. I’m remaining vigilant forever. ❤
I do the same with my phone. Don't worry. I know how you feel...but I didn't have children with my ex...I hope you are ok
i hope you continue watching this channel for strength. keep watching!!! checkout my playlist about HEALING modalities and utilize whichever ones resonate with you.
The ex came to see me 3 days before his wedding that he assumed I didn't know about (he told me he was getting married 'next month' but no date), but people talk. He tried kissing me. Nothing came of it, he left. 3 days after his wedding, on his way to work called me! Two days after that shows up at my house (5 days into his marriage) to tell me he still loves me. Unbelievable. I thought he and the once former side chick were riding off into the sunset, but those two toxic narcs have found the perfect partner in each other.
Spent 18 years with a Narcissist. Divorced 5 years now. I’m dating a normal nice guy for over one year now. Well I’m back to watching a Narcissist video. After years of not. Thought hovering was done. Stupid me I suppose. He wanted a hug and kiss last week after I dropped off our daughter. I swear how can I still feel vulnerable to this man. He’s like my crytonite. He called me today and told me he will love me forever, hates and loves me. He doesn’t like rejection. This is nuts.im not buying anything he’s selling and I have to see him tomorrow for my daughter’s middle school graduation. It’s amazing to me how after 5 years apart and all the mistreatment and me dating a great guy I’m still weak to this man.
"Hoovering means control." Very clear now, thanks.
Yes it's a cycle that only you can break. They will never walk away. You have to be strong enough to do the walking. Great video.
If they get ample supply, they dont care.
The discard is a blessing. Yet they demand that you answer there beck and call.
Mine will never come back I gave them a narcissistic collapse.
Never came back on their own. I always made contact and then they came back!
If you give them nothing they don't come back. And I mean nothing. No door.
He was so heartless during the discard told me how much he despised me leaving me so confused on what I did wrong. I know him and knowing how he just cut off all his exs , I know he’ll never come back . N sadly I’m wondering why I even want him too 😭
probably depends on what their new Supply gives them and how long the new supplier is willing to put up with their BS.
Hopefully she holds him down with her for my lifetime anyway
Mine just dumped me this morning because I called him out on his disrespect. He did the rage, insults and apparently I disgust him. He packed up all my stuff from his house and dropped it off this morning at my apartment and left telling me I'll never find anyone who will love me as much as he did and that I was the one who messed up. Of course when he calls me out on things and rages, I have to sit there and deal with it. When its the other way around, I get dumped and told I'm crazy.
Hmmm that sounds like we dated the same guy
Mine came back 25 years later, shocked me
What did you do?
Mine came back after 17 years and I accepted the hoover and it was so terrible. Lasted 6 weeks and she imploded my life.
@@cowboynohorse 😞 It's rough, I know
They definitely come back. My ex tried hoovering 4 times in the last year and half. Usually when he was lacking supply. Block everywhere and even their family and friends if you have to.
I was discarded a few months ago and it left me confused, and very hurt but I am doubtful that she will come back unless she needs a place to stay or is desperate for validation. She initially sent me a text saying "maybe we can be friends again someday" making it obvious she was putting me on the shelf for later and then two weeks go by I found out she hoovered her ex and was posting photos of them together on social media. I proceeded to call her out, exposed her behavior through emails, and I basically told her I was aware that she was a narcissist. I got the silent treatment basically confirming my suspicions that she was a narcissist. She deleted me as a friend on facebook. I think I forced her to deal a final discard since she now knows that I know. what kind of person she is.
Bro same thing with me I exposed her with her text messages to multiple guys pics too have them all won’t be back , take it as a blessing ….they are slime balls
Yeah, the whole "I want to be friends / have you in my life somehow". I took a hard pass on that and told her she was the worst person I'd ever met in my life. A LOT of narcisstic injury. She's been after me with a vengeance ever since. Overnight I became a stalker, harasser, and abuser according to her. Even filed a Protective Order against me. Her affidavit was full of provable lies, which is probably why they dropped the case two days before the court date. I not only don't need friends like her, I don't even associate with people who have her lack of character and integrity. Friends? Please.
I did the same thing....I went a step further and pulled a play out of her playbook and flipped the script. My Narc would secretly record me and our phone calls.
So after being discarded for the new supply she immediately moved in with and all that pain, I found these videos and learned what she is and it all added up and I put the con job together that she pulled on me.
Where I flipped the script is this; She made me out to be some monster to him, she purposely made it where the 3 of us crossed paths and she tried to have him fight me. I difussed the situation as I'm an adult and not in high school. But she would still hit me up trying to move back in after a month etcetc with the hoover, but, to protect myself I recorded everything....then when I had enough of the games I knocked on his door and handed him an envelope with the transcripts and audio. Walked away.......he threw her out that day! Haven't heard from her since.....been 2 months now. Free at last.
@@GonzoA211 I'm impressed! I could do the same. I'm pretty sure she's living with him now, but I'd have to pay a PI or a site online to find out where, or even his name. But it's way past the hoover, so it would only be for vengeance at this point. I still could someday, but it's just not worth my time right now. Plus, I don't know about your nex, but I fell mine would attempt to physically harm me. She was bad enough with the Protective Order, I can't imagine what lengths she'd go to now if I upset her little perfect world now. But I'll keep it in mind. But congratulations to you!
I‘m Like „he‘s not coming back“ (5 weeks no contact) .. then he says: the longest was 42 years 😂😂😂
lol
I’ve had one come back two years later tried to use my.neighbor and my son. That makes me so upset. I’m sure he’s been stalking that whole time. I’m have to move away
Holy shit 😂😂😂
I got out, she hoovered me back in for 7 months of a situationship. I got out again and she got upset I went no contact but kept trying to get to me. I finally told her to only contact me if the pet we shared got sick or injured. She used that as a way to hurt me with telling me things I didn't need to hear.
I reiterated my no contact to which she got upset, said I didn't understand she was in pain to (she cheated on me for years and was currently in a relationship with the guy she left me for) and that until I was ready to maintain consistent communication I wasn't too contact her (meanwhile she'd go days without contacting me because she was with her bf) 😂😂😂
These people really are delusional!!
This sounds pretty crazy but unfortunately familiar!!!
@@sevalsonmez96 right! It's like they all have the same playbook!! I wish I had a copy of that before I met her!
Thats so true. I knew this girl and even tho i told her something like "cya im happy to never talk to you ever again" they cameback anwyay because they dont care.
They just wanna recycle this version of you that they liked in the first place its really scary how their mind work.
No he won't. He hates his mother and will have nothing to do with her. He also feels the same way about me. Also, he now has stage 4 cancer. He has hpv and when I told him I had cancer ( turns out I didn't) . His response to that was," I suppose you're going to blame that in me too." How heartless. Now that he has cancer he would never want me to see his vulnerability.
The worse hurt n insult is when they don’t even care to fake it but come yo make you a side girl being open that they have a gf but you are so special that they want to make you a friend 😠
Thank you for emphasizing that my self-worth is not contingent on the narcissist. This is something I really struggle with. 🙏
Who needs all that drama?
I believe the narc. will try to test the waters! When I kicked him outta my house it was a hit to his ego, I was onto his game! 14 months no contact, he shows up at my house unannounced! I ignored him! No thx. Breadcrumbs aren't enough for me! I know my worth! His brother was driving by my house everyday I ignored him too!
They always come back
It's like they can sense when you have forgotten them and are happy again
Also depends on how long it takes their new supply to cut them off too
Thank you for exposing narcissists.
Such a great video! After 2 years of therapy and having to keep the ‘door open’ with children, I have learnt to recognise the behaviour and each time those emails arrive and my empathy and responsibility is triggered, I have the tools to recognise my behaviour that allows the Hoover and see the ‘real’ story. Thank you Ben for your videos and promotion of therapy.
Excellent video, thank you!
I really hope more people have access to your channel, (internationally, I’m from LatAm where not a lot of people understand English); thank you for these truths. I wish I was able to hear this 16 years ago, I almost went crazy, now thanks to you and other coaches & psychiatrists here in RUclips I know what was all about. Thank you. God bless you and your family.
Thank you so much for helping me finally understand my situation. Everything you said in your videos was a 100% of the way my boyfriend acts, makes me feel, etc. I couldn't understand how or why someone acts that way but thanks to you I get it now. It took me 15 yrs to finally get the answers I needed. I feel like I can finally breathe a little easier knowing I'm not alone or crazy. Thank you so much
This is a very well spoken video. This is chalk full of valid advice and this is coming from someone who's been through that whooooooooooole checklist of things in this video its spot on
I’ve had some pretty crazy experiences with a few narcs-ones that would make someone without a PD never want to talk to you-but they have always come back. Trust me when I say I was mind blown. The current one I had a court case with & now he’s trying to sleep with me again. It’s crazy.
No conscience & no responsibility just control over you
wow that is nuts …
Did he also have other relationships in between that time?
@@AlwaysHope2019 between the court case & now? Or does he have other relationships now? Just trying to clarify what you mean.
@@nappyfries I guess I meant at any time before he tried to sleep with you again was he with someone else?
@@AlwaysHope2019 oh definitely. Even now he still is on dating apps & sleeping around from what he told me. I told him he just wanted to try with me to prove to both of us that he could & he didn’t want to agree but he did.
I hope she never comes back. But i know better and won't allow her to have any access to me in any capacity
Awesome video❤very helpful!
They’ll come back as long as 4 years + 24/7/365. Without a break and without leaving you alone.
Your Thank you the absolute best. I have had my dealings with several narcs, oh,God! Thank you for all of the work that you give to the masses. I thought i had educated myself with understanding the behavior and traits of the narc. You have reminded me that i needed to learn more. You have helped me so much. Thank you. I love you very much ,for that. many Blessings to you.😀😀😀😀😀😀
We're here to support you on your healing journey. Take the first step by joining our free masterclass, where you'll learn how to break free from toxic relationships and much more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass
My biggest lesson learned in separation!
I went through a phase of wanting/needing acknowledgement/accountability from him - Like he would someday magically realize all his wrongdoings & actually apologize with full regret & sincerity!!🤣 Yeah I know!🤦♀️
So this EXPECTATION left a door open.. .
To manipulation & disappointment over & over again!! Just as described by Ben - It's up to US to close that door & make sure it's remains closed.. . Because they will always try to open it & love the challenge!! Its a preying thrill & goal for them! Once accomplished.. . They won & will soon get bored again! They will do this over & over again for ever IF you let them! And know.. . You're not the only one they're playing with!! This affects your closure & healing process & sets you back from your own growth & is EXACTLY what they want so make sure to stay away & close that door!!
Excellent video by the way, I really needed to hear this
Glad it was helpful!
Wow and thank you!
You're welcome!
In my experience after figuring them and calling them out, they ALWAYS come back.
I’ve changed my name, mobile/cell, address, email, social media, moved country etc.
I’ve dealt with several in the past…if they find you, shut them down.
The last one I got rid of was a complete headcase! 🤯
Mine is not coming back, will never come back and I’m happy with that!
Narcissistic affair partners do this. I work in the field of infidelity (as a volunteer, I'm not pretending to be a therapist) and I can tell you, not every cheater seeks what he or she finds. Sometimes it's not the cheater who is the narcissist ... sometimes it's the affair partner (Lise LeBlanc has a terrific video on how the female covert narcissist baits a married man- and yes, there are male versions. There's no misogyny here. I think Lise just focuses on one at a time.) And let me stress here- the married person who ends up cheating is NOT a victim. HE IS GUILTY IN WHAT HE ULTIMATELY DOES whether he looked for it or not. The problem is, he essentially loads the gun he is later shot with- as he complains about his heartache over a dying child, financial stress, job loss, boredom, whatever it is ... this new friend/coworker enters, and pretends to care. She inquires on how the stress is affecting his marriage, again faking empathy, and he's the idiot who opens up. As Ben Taylor said once in a past video (maybe it was "narcissist perfect partner," I'm not sure): "The moment you admit cracks in your marriage, the narcissist is plotting to replace your spouse." That is TRUTH. And here's where you give her blueprints on how to do it. Whatever you say you're missing, wherever your spouse is disconnected from you ... bam, the AP (affair partner) fits the mold! But it's a lie ... she is mirroring, manipulating, and grooming. And this is where affair fog starts. It's identical to narcissistic fog. It's just the best friend delusion. This is why you see guys cheat on pretty wives with plain janes. Because physical attraction is not required in preying on vulnerability. So ... the point of that is, a spouse should be a spouse's greatest defender. Good times or bad. Do not talk about your marriage to anyone whose business it's not! The real betrayal begins here ... If you need to talk, contact a therapist or a trusted relative with a positive attitude about marriage.
But ANYWAY, moving onto the point of this video, about the narcissist coming back ... If a marriage survives infidelity, and closure is given to the AP ... if you do not block them, he or she will pop up like a bad hemorrhoid (the narcissistic hoover is real). This AP can be engaged to someone else, living with someone else ... she (or he) will still try to maintain contact because in a narcissist's mind, she thinks she's not doing anything wrong. Even if you block her on social media, block her on the phone, disconnect from all mutual friends because you don't even want to hear her name ... it can be 3 years later even, you think you're free of her ... if she spots you somewhere, she will think it's okay to approach you, pretending this is innocent. BULL SHIT! This person is demented. No empathy. No remorse. No accountability. No basic human decency. Because life is not about vows! Basic human decency calls us all to "do unto others, as we want done to us." Some people will never get married. That doesn't mean they can screw others just because they didn't make a vow not to. Stop empowering a narcissist by saying stupid things like "He made the vows, she didn't." Don't excuse the AP. I'm a woman. I should not only respect myself by not taking another woman's leftovers, I should respect other women. I should consider how I would feel if I was in her shoes and ultimately, not hurt her. That's actual empathy.
If you witness what I witness in therapy, you see these fools know what a marriage is going thru and they prey on it. No shame. This is the idiot who says there is no such thing as a home wrecker because if the marriage was happy, nothing she did would matter. Um ... no person is happy 100% or the time, therefore no marriage can be happy 100% of the time. It takes immaturity not to realize that. The vows are for better or worse, because worse is guaranteed. Imagine a guy's son dies ... a normal person is like: "Wow, he & his wife are in so much pain." A normal person has empathy, recognizing two are suffering. But to a narcissist: "Wow, I want to comfort him. Forget his wife." That's how it really works. When we work with couples we ask: "What is the ONE reason continued contact is okay with an AP?" ... The answer: If a child was conceived. No child was conceived thru the affair? NO CONTACT. Not ever. This person no longer exists. There is not a betrayed spouse alive who would say: "Yeah, I don't mind if my wife is friendly with the guy she cheated on me with." So do not let this person keep coming back. Change your phone number if you have to, scream at her, whatever it takes. She's not expecting you to flip out in public and narcissists can't handle shame. The more you act soft, the more the narcissist is empowered. At the end of the day ... do you want to protect the AP's feelings? Or your spouse's? You already cheated. Do NOT be an asshole who lets this asshole in again- even for 5 minutes.
Yeh. They sure do come back!
Just like a bad penny or bad smell !
Everytime I breathe a sigh of relief because I've finally got rid of Mother & my sisters,
Mother turns up uninvited with one of my sisters in tow.
They are always rude, demanding, highly insulting etc. They never give any warning &
they barge into my house like they own the place !
Believe me, if I had any warning they were coming I would pretend that I wasn't home or go out for the day !
I've moved so many times to get away from them but they keep finding me !
At least now theirl visits have tapered off to approximately every 5 years!
I HAVE to interact with him; we share an 8 year old son together.
After the lies...the YEARS of neglect...belittling...sheer hatred...I STILL have to have contact with him. This is EXTREMELY difficult to maneuver...
Thanks!
Thank you
Everything you speak is exactly what I've experienced with this creep I'm living with. I'm planning to leave him asap and I already know how he's going to react. I've already decided that I want absolutely NO CONTACT for any reason (which there is none) with him. But, listening to you has reinforced this as no joke. Thank you!!
I found out the Hard way, without the Internet I would not have known about Narcissistic person that I now realise was never in love with me when she first chased after me at the age of 12 throughout my secondary school life and 12 years ago after 20 year's apart and yes you guessed it in this presentation ,she was even worse over the 7 months of hel ,She had lung cancer and was having pioneering treatment and I had a serious motorcycle accident not my fault on the way to visit her after a major operation to save her life ,and yes history Repeated itself 😢 I was cast out of her life ,even travelling home from the hospital knowing that the cancer was gone 2 hrs in the car and never told me the good news 😮 was told by her sister in a supermarket 😂 who 2 weeks later informed me that she never wanted to speak with me even again obviously Narcissistic bitch had lied about me and convinced the sister that I was too blame for everything 😢 I thought it was a split personality and strange only once in the 7 months I thought she was different for one day of on off relationship and we never bonded, probably as in the school days I never trusted her, Please walk away I have been damaged for life 😢 good luck you will need it 🤯
i hope you got away ❤
So what you're saying, is that while he was with me, the whole time he was still in contact with his exes, trying to hoover them back?
And that's besides lining up new supply at the same time 😮
Wow, if that is a fact, then it must be so hard being a narc
Keeping up with all of these adventures, it's no wonder they have to lie all the time
Their entire being, is built on lies
Probably. My ex’s new supply a month after I moved out was an old supply 🙃 They are very small people who do everything they can to try to feel big, and will project it all on you so that you’re somehow the villain by standing up for yourself.
I think it was only once I was clear but kind in stating I knew something was off, and I had specific things I would need to understand (that would have exposed his true intentions) he was no longer considering popping back up.
They always come back mine would leave around or before the holidays and then tax time would show back up because he needed me to file with him and / or help get his vehicle payment caught up after he couldn't get any of his other side dishes to do so . The 3rd time he left 6 months to be exact I filed on my own . Believe me if you have ANYTHING they want or need they will be back . If you block them they will get a friend or family member to ask you to unblock them and as soon as you do it's trickery time all over again. Oh and 3 days is all it ever took for him to start being an ass all over again. Cycles are definitely true life events . The ferries wheel is a neverending ride with them .
Its one that have been coming around since I dated him at 16. We are now 41 and 42 and he showed up at my home while i was in another relationship recently after 1 1/2 years. He should know now but most likely he will reappear since we have a son together. Our son is 24 🤔 be on guard, i thought that i was out the clear... Sometimes they come back
When I get a job, I'll probably get some one on one because I have to low-contact for co-parenting and I'll be needing some guidance, clearly.
You can start learning at www.rawmotivations.com/escape-toxicity it is our 7 day challenge for $7
It's been 5 years now since he left. He's not coming back. I think he knows I am done with him and would never take him back.
Omg I’m have to move out of town. He contacted my neighbor after a year and a half trying to get a hold of me. Using my neighbor as a flying monkey. Told me neighbor absolutely do not talk to him about me when he asks. He doesn’t even mess with my neighbor like that. I know he drives by my home late night and it’s so annoying scary
How is that possible? I was shouted at told our relationship meant nothing and regretted ever being with me and shouted never contact me again. I was discarded twice before that. The trauma bond was bad and the her ability to create a fight out of nothing was so bizarre
My last „is that him“ phone call was in October, someone very nervous sounding asked me where I live.
So. Mh.
My Mom thinks he won't come back. Have had him hoover years ago. Idk he's going to do whatever he wants tbh. It felt like a movie tbh last times he just showed up in my yard, chatted up the neighbors, and stared at me (not all in the same visit but I remember hearing his voice the first time and thinking it can't be, and I looked out the window well it was).
This is good content compared to the rest of the stuff out there. Thank you.
I appreciate that!
I need the tools To not get sucked in by his fake caring. I need that
Armor big time!
I need advice on how to maneuver lol around the workplace I work with him and his new girlfriend that he was quick to tell me about, so far I avoid them like the plague. It’s almost as if he’s hiding I hope he doesn’t think I’m going to confront her , but what I found interesting last month he slithered up to the floor I was working on and made sure to get my attention to ask how I was doing. I don’t know what for he never cared in fact he treated me like a dirty dog, I didn’t even feed into him being sneaky. I haven’t saw him since o well lol✋🏽. It does bother me I wonder if he is treating her better.
@@carmenr9251 ugh! What a freaking disaster. I'm sorry you have to work with him. My ex parasite lives a couple blocks away. That's close enough
It's demonic, anger is to be controlled, demons are angry creatures. For humans, it (anger) is to be controlled.
If you get angry (sit down)
If that doesn't work (lay down)
According to situations (walk away)
Follow my advice, or follow the police to a jail cell.
Like the many Narcissist (serial killers) in the pass and present.
For the victim (Run)
My daughter inserted herself a couple of times with abut 5 years in between. I’ve had some serious health issues. She pretends to care and then she starts railing at me and then she blocks me saying it my fault. I’m 73, I’m exhausted every time she contacts me because I know what’s coming. I’ve had to block her on my cell and landline. She hijacked my son’s FB. It’s all about punishment with her.
Can I ask you what made you decide to become self aware and start working on yourself to learn you are a narcissist and stop defecting the blame on others? Thank you, your channel helps lots a lot
nope NOT ME. i'm moving out of state soon. THE ONLY WAY i would allow him back on a remote level is IF i believe he is SERIOUSLY seeking help. don't care if he does. feel sorry for him because i no longer care and no longer want to care. just want to move on ...
oh yes! the guilt tripping
They always come back no matter what . I literally saw my nex the day before my birthday in May he has new supply and a baby and ye went on a smear campaign
I broke up with a narcissist over 10 years ago. Haven't heard from her since.
Than wait 25 year...If something happens in their life they can come back.When not they suffered injury...
PS: what if they were the ones who left and discard (but months later subtle hoovered when you were glowing up)? And when you re-engaged in contact the same pattern repeated itself. After ego injury he ended all contact again, told me he doesn't want contact anymore and I should stop messaging. I did. 2 weeks later I received a no caller ID call. He is still checking my social media secretly. Why, when I'm that unimportant? Will he leave me alone now or is it likely there will be a hoover one day again? I blocked him back, so ..
Despite me moving across the country, keeping all my socials on lockdown, and making sure my information is wiped from people finding websites, the narc I dated 25 years ago reached out to my brother on FB and asked him for my address, saying he “just found a box full” of my stuff that he wanted to send me. This man stalked and harassed me and anyone I dated (including my now husband) after I dumped him. Still…after all this time and zero contact, he tried to find out where I am. 🙄
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The narcissist I was dealing with came back after 8 years.
What did you do?
I got hovered after 18 years
My wife who’s 29 soon to be 30 is under the influence of a narcissist. She met him when she was 17. And since then he has broken up all of her relationships, including ours. He keeps coming back, even after being blocked, told no etc.
He can’t break up any relationship unless allowed. You can blame him all you want, but in truth, your WIFE isn’t shutting the doors to him. She’s allowing him to come back in and cause chaos in her relationships. That shows a complete disrespect to you and to your marriage. It doesn’t matter what somebody else does. You can’t control other people. It matters how your partner handles it. From your story, she didn’t handle it. Instead, she feeds into him and his toxic behaviors. He still has a hold over her. Not good!! I think you may need to reevaluate the woman you chose to be your life partner. She isn’t putting your feelings or your marriage to her as a top priority. Divorce is eminent when in a relationship with someone like that
@@DanielleD2895I know you’re right. I am kinda lost since we have a 3 year old daughter… Im fighting for my daughter.
My ex Narc did not come back. He actually played me with another woman. Told me all kinds of things that led me to believe we would get back together and the whole time he was with another woman
What if a narc only hoovered subtle by unblocking and calling with private number? We re-engaged in contact (cz I unblocked back and reached out, 1 year after he discarded me). It quickly fell into old patterns only with messaging each other. After ego injury he pushed me away and ended contact again. He also blocked me everywhere again except one channel. But there all my messages left unread.
He only repeated (via email) he doesn't want contact anymore and I should accept (I critized him before). It's radio silence since but I noticed he stalks my social media. Is it likely one day he will kind of hoover again - or is he really done now?
Ben, tell me as to if there will be hoovering by the narcissist if reverse hoovering has taken place!
After a 14 month relationship She discarded me brutally then went straight back to an exe of 10yrs ago.
Also put a restraining order on me for zero reason.. never ever been violent or threatened violence or harassed etc I was absolutely heartbroken.
Surely if she’s gone to the effort or a RO then there’s zero chance of a Hoover?
Maybe a similar situation but she said she would call the police on me when I tried to reconcile after we had an ugly fight. I decided to okay I’m leaving. Only to have her contact me over and over until I gave in and she discarded me as if she had to do the rejecting not me
I stopped engaging with my ex. It's all about him looking good. God saw everything. The abuse went too far to repair. Stay out of narcissists' dark world and be safe.
What if you exposed them. Could they come back at some point or are they are done with you for good?
From my experience they’ll still come back.
They will come back if they can so don’t let it happen because the abuse only gets worse & they will control you anyway they can
Yes… after a year he came back! And I knew at some point he was living with a girlfriend so I don’t understand! But I am not taking the bait!
My ex hoovers and says he only wants friendship. I told him I don't do friends with ex's. He doesn't apologize he blame shifts. He gets angry when I reject his hoovers. It's been two months out and a horrible mess. I want this to be over so bad.
They always try to come back. I'm a narc magnet lol. My ex husband got ahold of me after 20 years and he said he was looking for me for 5 1/2 yrs, going to places he thought I might be hanging out or working at.
The last two used Facebook and other SM to stalk their exes and kept old phones that had their exes old numbers on them.
The second one went to jail for assault and battery and he still stalked me after he got out. They obsess, even after they're exposed because they want revenge on you for exposing them.
That’s funny because I would never go back into that cage for anything
Mine is never coming back it's been four months he hasn't contacted me once. He basically told me thursday He loves me friday he wasn't so sure about his feelings for me Sunday I found him in bed with the young skinny girl. Apparently he said we were broken up or taking a break. He was seeing her on the side though. Entire time I was with her. And when he got the green light from her. Then he told me he is not so sure if he loves me. And this girl knew that he has a girlfriend she continued to see him. I think she might be another narc. Apparently he is in love with her. So yeah he found that young skinny new supply He doesn't give a shit about me so he's never coming back
Narcissists aren’t just partners, they are family, friends, co workers and NO they DONT “always come back” depending who did the discarding . It’s not always the Narc that discards, I have discarded friends and family infected and once I let them have it on my way out…they don’t come chasing because it was sooooo bad in the end they know I know and I am the one that was DONE DONE DONE. HOWEVER, if I wanted back in EVERY SINGLE one of them would allow it, but only so they can keep me around so they can turn up the abuse. So in some situations, yes they may come back, but that’s typically only to those that are weak and will ALLOW them back. They are opportunist and if you were juicy supply they will go thru withdrawals once you are gone, juicy supply to a narcissist is an addiction so if you are easy and willing they will jump all over coming back. ONCE YOU KNOW AND GO…STAY GONE!!!
20x in the last 3 years? Those are rookie numbers. Theres 52 weeks in a year. I think my ex broke up with me and came back 52x from january to october 2023 😂
🙏🙏
My kids mom is a overt narc. We got divorced she never tried to come back around.
My ex gf covert narc has used a thousand ways and reasons to comeback around now she has no way to contact me plus gets plenty of supply so idk why she would bother anymore?
No fb, no email and changed my phone number!
2 years and 5 months lol
Hope he stays the eff away
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I am 99% sure he will never come back. I was really harsh. He wanted to leave my life. It wasn't a good relationship from the start. I was much too old for him. He is middle age, I am really old, I just look younger, but not HIS young.
Nooooooooo!😮😮😮
Yes, my Narc ex came back to me after 12 years of separate lives. I was living my best life until I let him back in. Acting the same way. I COULDN'T believe it. He left our relationship to live with his 20 years his junior girlfriend. What happened with that?
Is this also how the woman narcissist is? Mine has been gone almost 7 months. I’ve told my coworkers that it’s over and they are saying that she will try to come back . I don’t know how or why . I can’t wrap my head around that . She has had me blocked on all social media since February of this year. She keeps unblocking me on the phone and when I answer back I get blocked again. I half to communicate some because I have to get the home refinance to get her name off it .
Idk most the time yes from what I know but I don’t have experience in that
Okay but most narcissists have several relationships.. does this mean they go back to EVERY single person ? Or that they try and stalk/keep tabs on EVERY single ex they’ve had?
Probably my ex was stalking me whenever we’d break up while still keeping tabs on his ex and texting another
My ex (he’s a narc) and I share an 11 month old and I’m the 4th woman he’s had a child with and it’s just crazy to think he keeps tabs on all of us .. the world they live in is just so delusional
@@akgarcia1357 I hope you and your child are safe ❤️ I know parenting with a narc is hard
I’d like to know the same thing. Like what distinguishes me as “grade A” versus the next chick and the next? Assuming they’re the same level of supply as I was.
My ex won’t hoover me again he’s done it 17 times and the last time I think was the final one x
Ive been struggling with this for awhile as its only been 2 months and a huge part of me still misses her. She tried to come back after one month to be sex friende but i knew she had a new guy and was really mean to her as she cheated on me multiple times and denied it.
Always?
What about when they ghost you and you are not the person who initiated the end?
He use to do that. I didn’t know that definition. If someone would have said Hoover I would have thought of only the vacuum. I had never heard of that terminology prior. Look up oneupmanship that does this due to them thinking they are superior. It’s the oddest Webster vocab ever.🤡👈🏻
Does a narcissistic friend come back again, Ben?; My narc friend said, "Can't you realize that I am respecting you very much". But I did not believe him, only for him to be ignored.