The Disturbing Final Self Portraits of Bryan Charnley
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- Опубликовано: 22 июл 2024
- Disclaimer: Apologies for the typo on Bryan Charnley's name in the title screen!
If you were to search for artwork by Bryan Charnley, what follows is a collection of unhinged and chaotic scenes. A shocking yet gripping insight into the world of mental disintegration.
Charnley's unmistakable use of extreme and sometimes violent serialism is very recognisable in the world of outsider art. But the work that stands out to most people is his 17 final self portraits, alongside a diary, that documents a tragic story about his struggles living with Schizophrenia, right up until his final days before committing suicide in July 1991.
In this video we are going to explore the mind of this troubled yet talented artist, as well as the final self portraits that reflected a mind so desperately in decline.
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One million views...WHAT...HOW?! I am honestly speechless, thank you so so much! I really did not know what to expect when I first made this video, only that I really wanted to do a video on an artist that I love and who I thought was rarely talked about. I just wanted to fill a gap on RUclips because I couldn't find another video on him. I did not think for one moment this many people would be as interested in his art as me, and I'm happy that I was wrong! I am just so ecstatic and humbled by the support this channel has gotten recently, so deeply and truly, thank you all again!!!
keep it up
Never heard of this artist, now very interested. Thanks for the excellent video!!!
/Please make several more 😆
Blessed by the algorithm my friend, keep up the good work!
great thumbnail, that’s why I clicked :) keep it up man
nice
It's a little disturbing to think of how this entire series of paintings documented his exhaustion from the feeling of people digging into his thoughts, when in the end...his thoughts ended up displayed in museums, and broadcast over the internet.
yeah
He must have gone through a lot but maybe some of his works can help reduce someone else's pain through awareness
I was thinking the same too.. truly is tragic. :(
I like to believe his paranoia of thought broadcasting was just an unfortunate result of his delicate mind at the time, and that deep down, he truly did appreciate people admiring and looking at his art, he just tragically forgot his purpose and why he loved art due to his depression and schizophrenia.
Oh wow... This hit me harder than the video. Very good observation
it’s impressive how self aware he is. it shows that people with mental illnesses aren’t just “wack jobs” at all. people with bulimia know it’s stupid to purge their food. people who self harm know it’s stupid to cut themselves. but that doesn’t change anything. it’s not a choice. it’s torture
i have quite a few disorders (some diagnsoed, some not). i know all my symptoms. i know i dont have any reason to argue so much. i know that the word 糕 in Chinese has no reason to make me so angry i want to kill. logically, i know that this reality is real and that i belong as a human, and that this body is mine. i realize that my face dosent look that strange, that im not as fat as my body looks to me. yet i cant do anything about it, which is what makes it so agonizing. to know everything about why ive never fit in, always been the weird person who talks too loud and cant do shit. i know about it more in depth than anything else, yet i cannot do anything about it. and that makes it a thousand times worse, to know you dont, cant and wont ever be like how everyone wants you to be.
And the rest of society or at least the anxiety caused by it feels like a muzzle. You can't be aware of your own mental illness and how it works because then you're just faking it for attention, you have to be widely unaware of your mind and actions for anybody to take your mental disorders or illnesses seriously. You also have to be able to act neurotypical or you're a freak and the people who are supposed to help you won't help you if you make it known that you know about as much as they do when it comes to your own brain. You have to be completely in the dark, you have to think you're normal to be considered at all and even then they're just taking precautions to keep themselves safe from the wack jobs. It doesn't just make your mind hell, it makes everything hell. Nothing is truly happy when the mind's mission is to stop it.
it’s funny how we never question anything other than mental illness. Imagine if there was a method developed by evil people to make people seem mentally ill when they weren’t but we were all just too stupid to understand the truth. We barely understand anything at all, we just think we do.
ppl with mental illnesses often have above average intelligence and that is also the cause for breakdowns. i know what it feels like to live with obsessive thoughts and manias.
@@thecatdragon589 our consiousness and brains are the most dangerous of all
I find it very admirable that he would choose to explain each painting- regardless of not necessarily enjoying having to explain them
Yeah same, it’s definitely inspiring
Probably frustration over peoples attempt to interpret what he was protraying
Well, as mentioned, the entries were suggested by his therapist.
@@lilbebe6566 agreed
@@lilbebe6566 did literally anyone watch the video??? His therapist asked him to document what each self portrait represented….
I have schizophrenia and this guys art (and also this analysis) is very affirming and important for people to hear if they’re trying to understand the illness. It’s reality breaking at it’s core.
I'm a schizophrenic too. I drew a lot while I was being dragged down into it. This artist got it down better than me being a skilled artist.
@@informitas0117 are you doing well?
I dislike people with schizophrenia. They are annoying
Same here. I'll never tell anyone that isn't family. I have a rediculous need to draw or paint but I've never been good at it. We aren't loonies we just perceive life in a very difrent way. I feel like endtimes are here already.
Same. A lot of his imagery I used in most of my art during my worst bouts with my schizophrenia.
I appreciate your non judgemental attitude toward this beautiful soul. A lot of RUclipsrs who cover this kind of content tend to frame it like "look at this disturbed freak, so dark and edgy". It makes me feel angry.
they are afraid of that which they dont understand, so they give it labels that make them feel better abou themselves. pathetic
Just out of curiosity, can you give an example?
@@DirtiestDMusic weird art of the mentally disturbed, look it up its a video
@@bleak3304 That's not the vibe I got with shrouded hands video.
eh? beautiful soul how? his art is boring af & he sounded like a complete pompous tosser who had a thing for medication & his so called art isnt dark edgy or disturbing it looks like a 10 year old having a tantrum but hey if that floats your boat then poor you
It's not uncommon, but kinda uncanny when an artist explicitly describes both their descent into madness and their artistic expression complete with intentional symbolism. It's almost more frightening than the more typical case where the artist leaves interpretation up to others. It gives it a very conscious and directed feeling, like he's being marched directly into hell.
the Spanish artist goya also went mad as well but he did not document it. instead all we find are his so called black paintings. creepy in it's own right too. and the fact he hanged them all over his house.
@@entityaccount3876 ahh yes... Saturn devouring his son is not good house art vibes 😭
@@MellowJelly I was going to say "depends where..." and then I raised I don't want those eyes staring at me ANYWHERE in my house
Madness happens because of bullies either at home or outside. It's unfortunate that still people believe that its the victim or mad person who is creating the madness. But you must realize that it's that bully who remains hidden or cleverly acting as a friend or ally who is actually pulling the strings to make sensitive people mad. Wake up!
This comment, in conjunction with the video, has broken my heart
The idea of an artist finding sharp discomfort with the idea of being known deeply by those he doesn’t know while also being infuriated by having to describe what he means is truly embroiled in a deep psychosis. And yet, I completely understand it. Which is terrifying
So do i, it makes perfect sense to me
I'd like to imagine that the final portrait is simply just a background, leaving himself out of the painting as a way of saying that he's given up and is committing suicide, thus he isn't here anymore. Great vid, loved it.
My thoughts exactly
@@ninjalinda1288 it is most likely a tribute page to his work or a fellow artist choosing to work in his style and post (which if they are using his name, that’s obviously wrong)
@@wormboy5800 oh
I've always wondered how people think someone with schizophrenia thinks.... My dad would stab holes in the walls late at night saying "they need to see, they can't see, the wall is in the way" I was young and thought maybe he has lil friends in the walls. Then as the months passed, he started acting suspicious of his new friends and wouldn't get out of his bed... He expressed himself through music... I wonder if he can paint what he sees.... All my family paint these beautiful artwork... Except me, I can't draw to save my life...
You don't need to know how to draw, just try to represent what you want to represent, that's what should matter first and foremost, alternatively, try other art forms to express yourself, mix things up, just make it "yours"
@@MacinteuchPlus shapes... That's all I can do 😁 ty tho
@@dontthink5672 shapes are a form of art
@@rowanlinz6201 I guess, I just want to make beautiful work like them.
@@dontthink5672 everything is beautiful dude. Also if you practice you will get better!
Man, this is heavy as fuck. I wish I could hug this dude.
You think this is bad, check out Francis Bacon or any older artists with mental irregularities
@@kahlilgarcia3995 can you suggest more artists like him? I'm newly interested in art and mental illnesses portrayed through it fascinates me a lot
@@jackieweaver3884 I'd recommend Zdzislaw Beksinski for some disturbing art, there's a video called 'The Nightmare Artist' that gives a great introduction to his work.
@@akikoivunoksa635 yes! i've watched that and absolutely loved it, thats some awesome art with an interesting take. Do you know any other?
@@jackieweaver3884 Glad to hear you like it too! I'm a newbie when it comes to art so I don't really know any depictions of mental illness to recommend, but I'd say Wes Benscoter's and Michael Whelan's works are pretty similar to Beksinski. Also, check out Dr. Seuss' Midnight Paintings if you haven't, they're much darker than anything in his children's books! ☮️🧡
What a devastating existence. Schizophrenia is truly a living nightmare, and my heart bleeds for those who suffer it. Thank you for showing this.
Thank you. Empathy helps. Don't believe Hollywood's portrayal of us as monsters.
Fascinating that he was paranoid about people reading his thoughts and yet poured so much effort into expressing his thoughts in art
It kind makes sense to me. I would rather willingly put my heart out into display than have it taken
@@user-yj7cu5sk2w how would they take it if it wasn’t on display though
@@acceleratefx5966 people with schizophrenia often believe that other people can steal or read their thoughts
the paintings and diary was a part of his therapy. I don't think it was his intent to make these hugely publicised. If he wanted to show them, it would have been to show the pain he was in, not his personal matters.
I guess maybe since he already thought that people knew his thoughts, it wouldn’t make any difference if he expressed his thoughts through painting.
What people are calling this man bad at painting. They trippin
on tranquilisers 'lol'.
the only people tripping are those who think it is art.
@Rem Zinovyev art is about self expression, not appealing to people. You seem like the type of person who'd bully him for having schizophrenia like the people who targeted him when he was alive.
@@CobraRedstone art is subjective one cannot simply judge art based on what they like
If art is indeed intended for the expression or development of thought and emotion, he did it tremendously well.
That second to last painting looked like a war map showing hope surrounded on all sides by enemies closing in. The little legend of medications crossed out looked like a list of ammunition/supplies remaining.
Reminds me of Berlin surrounded by the Soviets
Beautiful description of the painting.
More like a road map of the mind. You have words like Hope and Past but those words are still "surrounded by the enemy". Stating that his mind was prolly a landmine standing right in the middle you take one false step it's all over. His thoughts were causing him his own mental anguish.
This reminded me of how, when I was a smal kid, I had an irrational fear that other people may be able to read my mind. This paranoya affected me deeply, I remember concentrating on modulating my thoughts when I interacting with other people, sometimes not even feeling safe inside my mind. I hadn't thought about that in ages.
that's actually scary. i honestly think if you've done it a little too much, it can make you insane!
Damn, I do this all the time. I'll be sitting and class and then randomly ill get paranoid that a classmate is seeing my thoughts. It can get fuckin exhausting sometimes, but at least it's not all hours of the day, just random insecure moments that last a couple hours at most.
I used to do this as a kid! I think it's a standard impulse-most people are sold pretty easily on the idea that a god can hear your thoughts, so at the very least it's not a huge leap in imagination.
One of the early signs of my schizoaffective disorder was that fairies could hear my thoughts, especially in church. I also thought my thoughts and actions could affect cartoon worlds. Definitely stayed with me as my mental health issues grew up with me; so interesting to see the early incarnations of my issues
I feel exactly the same. Sometimes religion took place too, my mother would tell me God could hear everything I thought so whenever I thought something "unholy" I would feel regret.
I believe that last painting was a self portrait, of what he thought he would look like after killing himself, as sad as that may be the red could be representing his blood, the yellow as the parts of his mind that have been corrupted past saving, and the pink being the only last part of him that was slightly normal, still sane, or at least treatable
as to what the brown is, I believe that symbolizes another person, finding him after his death, completely separate from his mind, his will, his blood and sweat, who looks and thinks and is different from him, as in the painting it is super different from the other colors
Heavy moment
I need some of whatever you're smoking
Bruh moment
@@georgemaysack6348 let's not assume anything.
yellow is piss, brown is shit. but gg interprating your bullshit into it
I’ve had psychotic suicidal episodes (not due to schizophrenia, but my partner is schizophrenic), and the final painting looks the way a psychotic episode felt for me. Reality just slips away, your mind shuts off to you, and for me once I set my mind on self destruction a blissful calm would wash over me. I knew whatever thing I was about to do to myself was bad, but I was unnervingly calm and relaxed. Putting myself back in former me’s shoes, I bet the red is blood. Maybe he thought of a sunset then. Then maybe art fundamentals kicked in, keep warm colors like yellow red and brown.. the darker yellow in the light yellow is shading.. I never had particularly cohesive thoughts in those moments. I doubt that painting had a defined meaning. Probably just a blur of passing by thoughts mixed with experience of careless and blissful calm he probably felt before he commit.
you described the things I was not able to and for that I thank you
I looked up Van Goghs last painting after he mentioned the birds in the previous Charnley painting. If you compare that work by Van Gogh with Charnleys last one, it makes me think that Charnley painted a path like Van Gogh. The movement feels similar, like his own version of an ending they shared.
"Wheat Field with Crows uses the double square canvases that Van Gogh used exclusively in the final weeks of his life. The painting is extremely dramatic, conveying intense feelings, and is one of his most haunting and elemental works. The dark cloudy sky filled with crows and the cut off path seem to ominously point to the artist’s coming end." they say on vangoghgallery.
Frightening, and not all that difficult to imagine. When someone suffers so endlessly, and they see what seems to be a final, definitive way out of it, I imagine it seems like an obvious choice to them. And in that moment, in their mind, it's the easiest, most reassuring choice they've ever made. I can see how one would simply...shut off, and drift to the end.
We've really created a hell for ourselves when that kind of thought process so readily crops up.
KKonaW Fake
Ok
This popped up in my feed and it’s absolutely fascinating. There was a girl at my school who was a painter but also schizophrenic so it immediately grabbed me. My art mistress showed me a painting by her , a pink figure surrounded by a blue one. My art mistress told me that the pink image was “her real self” and the blue one “the one I pretend to be”. Poor girl and poor Charnley.
An additional tragedy to Charnley’s story is that for all the horrid anxiety his disease gave him about his thoughts being broadcast for everyone to laugh at, whenever his work and ideas were put forth, people very much enjoy them. His thoughts, while often painful and projecting poignant suffering, are seen as important and valuable.
Very well said.
it's no good to 'enjoy' it as some sort of morbid entertainment, but his documenting of the experiences at least did spread some clear awareness to healthy people of what it is like.
The last painting feels very soothing to me actually, maybe it’s because it’s so different from the other disturbing paintings, but it feels like perhaps he drew this because he decided to kill himself and that decision soothed his mind a bit. Or maybe he was doing so bad that he no longer had a grasp on anything tangible in his mind, it was all just red and yellow. Red normally symbolizes anger, blood, sometimes evil. Yellow can symbolize happiness. And maybe the pink in between is the marrying of the two in his mind. Idk 😅
Edit: wow, I remember when this video had a few hundred views, and I decided to leave a comment to support it, and now it has almost 400k! Awesome
I agree with your take on it. Being that there aren't any other details compared to his other work, and it's lack of a frame of reference, it seems to indicate complete envelopment, and that it's all he can see or feel. But I also got a sense of agitated peace.
It was explained to me the red and yellow combo is insanity. Don’t know if it’s true
Yellow can represent happiness, but it can also represents fear or evilness.
I find the drawings of the mentally disturbed ugly, makes me sick a bit and regret ever seeing them. usually if someone is crazy or psychopath I don't hold them up, like others do, I just seem them as another person that should be avoided and watch out for. We all just have to cross our fingers not to be in their shoes because that is unfortunate. If we are in their shoes that is unfortunate, and we just have to accept that fate and see where it leads us.
Other people have their own problems to care and worry about every little detail of our lives, most people don't have the time to look into our lives, it is all in our heads most of the time. people are too busy living their lives to read that guys thoughts or look into any of our lives. Even if we feel at the center of the universe, we still have to live life until it is over one day. being at the center of the universe mean special rules exist for you, like you stand out, never blend in.
Everyone else share some unity that is absent from you, they all collude unknowingly to prevent your success.
world: we can't let that guy succeed, the guy over there who isn't a part of the collective.
being a nobody is good because then, nobody can pick you out and give you special rights like success avoidance or collusion of the masses. There is some truth to this because, we each stand out and people react to us one way or the other.
being ignored all the time is still quite bad = special rules
being at the center of attention is also very bad = special rules.
you vs the world = you are special and normal, because everyone else can be a lone.
will power helps, just stay strong, and endure the gray dull reality that is life.
Red is the color of power and action and vitality
Yellow is the color of intellect
How does this only have 300 views? This is a seriously good video documenting a serious theme, really fittingly edited my friend!
Really appreciate that 😊 thanks for watching!
TheGentleNerd I know right, I learned a lot through one video.
I'm sayin
glad to see that this video eventually started getting the attention it deserves
21k vews, that's better
The major themes I see in psychosis like this is distrust of anyone, terror, devastation, hopelessness, confusion, and more. People need to understand psychosis doesn’t make someone a defiant “wack job.” It’s not a choice to “give in” to the delusions. They want desperately to confide in and connect with someone but their brain chemistry prevents them from doing so.
I'm glad he chose to explain the paintings, I think it leaves a legacy for people to have a better insight into the mind of a schizophrenic and the things they have to suffer.
He felt alone. Because they misunderstood him, despite 'knowing' what was in his head. To have a language only good enough to convey that you don't have a language at all.
They misunderstood him despite knowing what's in his head is such an eloquent way to phrase it.
Some of his journal entries really gave me the vibe that he was stuck with some nasty traditional psychoanalyst type caregivers. I wonder if things could have been different for him if someone had just validated his emotions, while helping him understand his thoughts as something seperate from his self.
@@mayaeidolon5623 If someone could have just suggested they understood him, seen through his eyes. He might not have felt so isolated. I imagine his existance collapsing in on itself like that of a black hole - under the weight of the immense pressure he has, filled with complete isolation. To be so mistaken where you may as well not count as being human at all. He unfortunately expected them to understand him, like he understood them, but they just could not see, as if he were completely invisible - I suppose he is visible. Now. Now that he is completely invisible afterall. We all seek attention and connection, and without this, so fundamental understanding, I think you are lost - you can't be sure of anything, only that you are just you, all by yourself, even surrounded by them all, without understanding, you are isolated.
@@Mycofuncorriza I think everything you mentioned about isolation is very true. But, the hardest thing about different types of mental disorders is that although you can tell the person that you understand them, and you really might, odds are they cannot perceive it as someone without that suffering would. Schizophrenia is more than just hallucinations, and through Charnley's journal entries and art you can see that. Hypothetically, there could have been people in his life reaching out, trying to help, and assure him that they understand, and it's unfortunate that the schizophrenia probably wouldn't have allowed him to see that.
@@katrinasabol That is what I mean where I say 'suggested they understood him, seen through his eyes' - where he feels understood. They didn't understand his 'paintings', both physically and metaphorically - for if they could not understand what his imagery conveyed, then how could they possibly understand what his words could, given that it was his imagery that expressed who he was, it was him he was exposing. And I suppose given his prediciment, words do not suffice.
I think when one understands, they need not announce it, for it is evident, all by itself. For someone to understand, and to preach it is not understanding. Understanding, is to sit there watching with awe, love and tenderness, and to query, to question, to wonder why and what. It's to be right there, right by his side, never letting him feel alone - this is understanding.
"I really tire of having to explain my paintings. It is very much my tragedy that people cannot understand the straight forward poetic use of symbols I am employing..."
I feel that shit...
🥇
420 likes
@@annaplaysandsings 🌬️🌳🔥
I hate to hear anyone explain the "meaning" of a painting.
As someone who battles with depression this hit a nerve. The mind is a real weapon!
Totally agree…………………………….we suffer deeply from within. It is scary when I think that my mind is trying to kill me. The constant fight against it is. Not only soul destroying. But also VERY VERY tiring.
@@LockStoppageSandwich i hope that you get better my friend and start to see the beauty of life eventually. 🤎🤎🤎
the mind is a double edged sword...
I used to drop acid in my earlier years. It's very disturbing to me how I can partially understand how he felt as his imagery and ideas are reminiscent of how I felt under the influence of the drug. The complex enigma of the human psyche is truly awe inspiring and horrifying.
This video pains me more than I can say. Most of my life I've been trying to recover from the fallout of a family member who's artistic talent went hand in hand with her madness and psychosis. She took her life a long time ago but the echoes of insanity still play inside my memories. I have hate burnt deep into my heart, but I just want to say that I still love you Tineke, and I hope you are at peace now.
💖
Stay strong brother x
@@alexandermitchell3845 Damn dude, that small act of kindness really means a lot right now. Thanks x
@@MrBendybruce You're a king. Hold that head up high.
@@MrBendybruce you got this!
I feel like the last painting, was the sign that his mind was completely taken over by the Schizophrenia and all that he could do was to end it. I have seen what it can do to people and it is the most terrifying experience imaginable.
@Mocco Mongananzo it was a profile pic I had when I was 12. And while I don't have schizophrenia myself, I lost my partner to it. She thought that there was clones of me going in and out of the house when I wasn't home, she would stare for hours at a blank screen and shout that the other room was gone and she tried to jump out my window at one point. Her entire personality changed and her personality was no longer recognizable by the end of it. So yes I can say how terryfing it is because I've seen what it does to people.
Mocco Mongananzo rude
@@kristianferencik8685 I’m sorry for your loss.
I lost my partner last march to the tune of something very similar. Watching someone spiral like that, not knowing day-to-day if who you spoke with last night is the one you will wake up next to in your bed, it’s agonizing.
I can’t name *anything* more painful than watching the one you love tear themselves apart. There are no words to describe that helplessness.
I hope you’re doing okay, friend. Tough times for us all...
@@akyut1749 it's a horrible disease that warps the victims reality, till they can't trust their own senses, loved ones or themselves.
My partner's memory got warped to the point where she believed I was the one making her ill and then she didn't even see the illness altogether and thought that I was working with an unknown group to think I was ruining her life. At the same time she was pregnant with my child and thought it wasn't hers during the ultra scan due to a hallucination. Then on one day she changed completely, it was like she was unrecognisable to the person I knew. It was like someone else was wearing her as a suit. She didn't remember any of the times that we had together and the smallest thing set her off.
Previously she had jumped from a roof of a building shattering her spine, ankles and pelvis. She had also tried setting her self on fire aswell.
After she had my child, I was told I couldn't be with her anymore and unfortunately, she stayed in the state she was in.
The sad thing is people don't understand is it happens so quickly. They push those that have the illness to fight it with their will and tell them to make their own decisions. But its a losing fight, all you can do is prolong it with medication and hope for the best. Which unfortunately wasn't the case with my partner.
i really cant do these videos i dont hsve any mental illness and hope not but this makes me worry for my future. I dont care if i die i care about my family i dont want them gone i dont think i would handle it i dont think i could handle this illness i dont think i could handle anything. I really got to stop watching.
This poor guy was on a cocktail of primitive antipsychotics and I truly feel for him. The old psychiatric drugs hurt the brain; causing tardive dyskinesia and other brain damage. His art is beautiful and anyone who thinks otherwise probably has spent some time in Thomas Kincaid galleries 🤮
By Thomas Kincaid gallery do you mean a typical American grandma's house?
@@elcuy3544 it obviously means they intentionally sought out his art because they like it
I find his paintings fascinating and heartbreaking, though not necessarily beautiful. Art doesn’t have to be beautiful to express what it needs to.
And I despise Kincaid’s saccharine crap or anything similar.
As compared to modern anti-psychotic drugs, which are as soft as unicorns and butterflies
@@rougelazer8278 they are not safe, of course, no drugs which are meant to affect the human brain will EVER be safe, because it is such a delicate precise system.
That being said, modern antypsychotics are definitely safer and better tolerated than older ones, which is the whole point that the original comment is getting at.
The last painting, the central yellow brushstroke looks like a face to me, stretched to unnatural lengths, hidden behind streaks of red. If he saw that too, in his mental state, it might have taken him too far.
The 2nd to last painting also looks like a map or a corkboard with twine connecting thoughts. Like his mind was a map, easily readable from his perspective.
Thank you for sharing his work. While tragic, his work speaks deeply to me as someone with depression, and a lot of that imagery strangely connects with work I’ve done. RIP Bryan Charnly
Excellent first video essay! Don't be discouraged by low view count; I chalk that up to a somewhat obscure subject matter. I encourage you to continue making them and slowly build up your audience. Your work will not go unnoticed.
That's such kind feedback thank you so much! I'm currently working on my next synopsis video, can't wait to show you guys :)
@@BlindDweller I'm from the future, not sure how your channel is doing nowadays but let me say that those who find your video appreciate it immensely
@@jellyfish0311 hi .. . ...
@@jellyfish0311 I'm actually from the future and this has 500k views and everyone who watches it appreciates it
Yes, it’s really fascinating. Great work and keep it up!
I'm going to do a school presentation about Bryan Charnly's self portraits and your video helped me a lot to better understand the "complexety" behind the paintings. Gosh, such an excellent video!
So happy I could help! Hope the presentation goes/went well
@@BlindDweller It went pretty well, I really liked the presentation I did, but my teacher is a perfectionist so, I got a 14/20 :(
@@RitaColacoNuminous aw :(
@@RitaColacoNuminous my teacher is like that too
@@RitaColacoNuminous this is the problem with analysing art. Unfortunately it’s a very opinionated discussion that can never be proven wrong or right on either side, because that’s just what art is intended to do.
He really was incredible at expressing how he felt, it just... the fact that he had to feel that way... I don’t think any adjectives do it justice
:'( This was a hard watch, my brother has schizophrenia, sadly I can understand Bryan's social and emotional pain far too well.
RIP Bryan Charnley.
Last time I went there was an entire room in the Tate Modern in London dedicated to Rothko's final paintings. They were displayed as he wished, all together in a dimly lit room. I remember I had this very mixed feeling, just sitting with them for a while. They felt very heavy, as if the deep colours were coming out of the painting and weighing me down.
These pieces feel like the opposite. Everything is floating and disjointed. It's painful as Charnley starts to let go of all his final tethers - his cigarettes, his friends, the world, essentual medications. He comes to see all of these as nailing him down, rather than anchoring him to reality.
It also makes me think about privacy. Part of what made it unbearable for him to live was the idea of broadcasting his thoughts to everyone. It made me think about how much of my private information I offer up daily without even thinking.
Yes! The Seagram Murals room at Tate Modern is incredible. I have sat with them many times, just to experience that effect that you describe. It's incredibly calming.
Best mood that Mark.
Yeah the entire Tate modern felt like an exhibition of mentally unbalanced art to me ☝️
And just FYI it turns out that the entire popularity of "abstract expressionist art" was bankrolled by the CIA to counter the burgeoning socialist-labor art movement 💯
Broadcasting what to who? Are you referring to us through his painting?
@@radbunnie2297 Broadcasting is similar to Projecting. He had a specific vision in his mind of what others are doing / he might do to others, whether it be true or not.
Say you were worrying about me reaching my hand through my phone and poking you. Even if it's impossible, the worry feels real, so it comes across as "everyone on the internet can touch me, oh god don't touch me please".
Basically: "Your looking at me and making all these scenarios in your head, because you *think* you know how i feel."
Wow, I'm used to heavy things, mental illness, and art, but this was still so disturbing, much more disturbing than I was prepared for... You did an excellent job. I hope you take my comment as a compliment. And it's not like you didn't try to warn me, haha. But it was a mistake to watch this in the middle of the night, I have no idea how I will be able to sleep now...
I really do appreciate that and I do hope you slept better a few days later! 😆
That last painting is heartbreaking in a way I can’t describe. It’s like he’s fully lost it and can’t even express himself through art anymore. My heart sunk when I saw it.
It's so upsetting to be able to just see and feel this mans suffering through his works.
It makes you wonder who or what could have been done to really help.
my dad has schizophrenia and bryan has been my favorite artist for a long time thanks for this vid
I only recently got diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder (basically bipolar disorder with psychotic elements), but I can relate these paintingss with what I experience during psychotic episodes. I have not yet been hospitalized for an episode, and am medicated, though I still eexperience some delusions or lose myself on occasion.
I sometimes feel as if there is some crevice that I am on the precipice of, and that I could easily fall into. I'm honestly just terrified that one day I might fully fall apart, that I will fall fully into that abyss. I don't know how far it goes, or what is at the bottom of it, and to be curt, I just terrified of what could be...
That final painting he made didn't seem like a symbol of hopelessness, in my perception. Rather, it appeared like a sunrise. A beautiful sunrise. Though it also appeared as a sunset.
A sunrise would normally give you hope. A sunset marks the end. Bryan had finally found hope in his endless battle against his own mind. And that hope was going to be the final page of his story. The only way to save himself from any further pain and suffering.
He's highly insightful into his own current mental state. It's incredible to have the forethought document this process so precisely I can appreciate his precision to understand himself.
So if you're out there know that the arduous suffering to put forth, the effort to complete such a project today is helping others. 💚
It's sad that he seemed upset and suicidal for his fears of people knowing his past and he doesn't know theirs, his mind being broadcasted, telepathy, being watched and judged, while that's sort of what we are doing now to him and his paintings.
it is but part of me wonders if it'd be worse to leave him forgotten, for the sake of those who can relate and for the sake of those who wish to understand, i think his work can mean a lot to them
@@tensugarcubes that's true
Such a condition must be all the more horrifying when the person suffering from it knows exactly what is happening.
i live with schizophrenia and ive always wanted to create art to describe what its like, either in the form of visual art or through theatre. seeing brian’s work and how closely his words corroborate my own experiences is .... wild, to say the least, and while i hate how his story ends in suicide/self destruction its almost comforting to see this visualization and know that theres something out there already to show what its like to deal with this and for me to know im not alone in my experiences.
I agree that Charnley’s paintings are terrifying yet interesting at the same time. His last painting is the visual depiction of one’s soul having left the body before that body died. The body was left to operate on its own, just like a hen without a head. Eventually the body dies either because of itself or because the vital functions simply cease.
I have never been diagnosed with schizophrenia but I think I might know how to comprehend and reeducate schizophrenics with talk rather than subdue their condition with medication.
I want to teach incoherent people how to be coherent, even though I myself struggle with being coherent sometimes.
Teaching people to become good at something you are not is quite ambitious I admit it.
I think people who draw human-animal hybrid entities symbolise the conflicting inner self, being unable to distinguish their human side from their animal side, just in a similar manner to those who draw hermaphrodites because they have not managed to separate their masculinity from their femininity and vice versa.
I believe Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde may be the literary embodiment not only of good vs evil, but also of sane vs insane.
I am glad to be living on a continent where mental health is taken seriously, i.e. Europe. I believe most horrorcows exist in the USA for a reason
He was still so well spoken, articulate and intelligent even though his mind was slipping farther and farther away. So incredibly fascinating and so sad at the same time 😓
Not one to really cry but this made me tear up. My relative had schizophrenia and died. I don’t remember much of him but I’ve always thought about how difficult it is to live with schizophrenia. The anguish, the stigmatization, the isolation. It’s heart wrenching.
One of my very close relatives is also going through a very hard time with their schizophrenia. I can't begin to imagine the way they must feel when they think everyone is out to get them and that they have no friends or family to trust. And the USA with their ridiculously broken mental health system does very little for him when we try to get him treatment again since he's "an adult." It breaks me seeing him waste away in front of our own eyes without any immediate means to help him...
I interpreted the last painting as a sort of continuation of the HOPE one, like "all approaches are done, and the 'enemy' has won and finally 'arrived' of sorts". Like opening your front door and just seeing hell.
"They swallow a camel to strain a gnat" is a great metaphor in general
It’s almost like he doesn’t recognize his own inner voice as himself
I had some episodes of psychosis months ago and dude, the mouth on the forhead it's really really accurate somehow. I had a feeling that I had hole inside my head, and a VERY VERY STRONG feeling that I should open a hole in my forhead, to be free from my own body. Thank God I had stopped feeling that way
This makes me sad. Poor guy.
Mental health is no joke. I deeply feel for those diagnosed with these conditions. Truly trapped in your own mind.
Thank you for the vid, well done.
My father has had constant psychosis for years and seeing this video was heartbreaking. What Charnley explains though his diary and his paintings reflect what my dad has been experiencing the majority of my life. I have mixed feelings towards him - the trauma of the neglect I suffered at his hand has led me to cut off contact with him for the past five years. But on the other hand knowing this is what has been festering in his mind is devastating to say the least. He’s so out of reach for me, the rest of his kids, and probably for himself.
I like macabre work, but this guy's work genuinely disturbs me. MOVING work.
It is quite fantastic! His work is still surreal and unerving on their own merit, but they only become even more powerful and moving, as you put it, once you know the context.
This vaguely reminds me of Everywhere At The End Of Time.
It's chilling.
Was going to make the same comment, thanks for beating me to it.
Everywhere at the End of Time but just the post awareness stages
weird, i had the same thought
litterally found this because of Everywhere At The End Of Time.
@Lymbo YES!!! 😢💔💗
I wish my art teacher in high school covered this. Can’t afford a real art class so I’ll keep on being stunned by art work I’ve never seen. His painting made me cry.
As soon as I saw the last ‘portrait’ I got goosebumps all over. I can’t explain it, but that piece hit me like a truck.
This video is a very valuable insight into the work and the mind of an incredible and unique British artist who should always be remembered there is much to learn from Brian Charnley.
"I really tire of having to explain my paintings. It is very much my tragedy that people cannot understand the straight forward poetic use of symbols I am employing..." ...continues to feel like people can read his thoughts...(schizophrenia in a nutshell) :(
Just discovered your channel and this is such a good representation of Charnley. He is highly misunderstood and misinterpreted. This video sums up his potraits perfectly. Thank you for this
this video is absolutely beautiful. i wish bryan could have found treatment that worked for him. schizophrenia is incredibly stigmatized, and his art is so detailed that i’m sure if he was able to recover he could use his art to raise even more awareness that he already indirectly did.
why am i crying. i can feel the pain but i cant describe it. terrible illness to have.
empathy is always a good thing to have
Last year I had a rapid onset psychotic episode due to bipolar disorder. One afternoon I heard noises (like moving furniture) from my neighbor living opposite me on the same floor in my apartment building. I had moved in fairly recently, and somehow I hadn't had the chance to meet this neighbor yet so the anonymity factor likely triggered my paranoia. This was really the endpoint of my delusional state of mind, so there was alot more building up to it (much of which I barely even remember) but the gist of it was:
I had the (to me then) perfectly plausible idea in my mind that a group of inter-universe travellers had occupied my nextdoor apartment, and were preparing a "piece of art" to horrify and baffle the one-universe normies due to me and some other random people figuring them out and not letting them hack my router and computer. I assumed the noises I heard were them building a perfect mirror-image copy of my own apartment using pieces of furniture and decor taken from a "neighboring universe".
What I imagined would happen later that night was them kidnapping the copy of me from said "mirror universe", then they would kidnap me and force me to watch my mirror self being tortured in a hundred different ways before being unceremoniously dismembered while still being alive, bleeding out on the floor. After I had witnessed this, they would then slowly smother me using a plastic bag over my head and then proceed to arrange the whole scene to look like a murder-suicide with me placed in my apartment and my "mirror copy" placed in the carefully constructed mirror apartment.
I figured even then that the plastic bag over my head probably would not make a plausible suicide, but that the travellers couldn't resist doing it like that because of some long-standing inside joke amongst the group. The actual reason probably being my fear of not being able to breathe, not getting enough air etc due to severe anxiety attacks.
I know this all sounds contrived but that's because I'm leaving out many details not logically consistent with these events I was imagining. This cut-down narrative was more like a sub-plot, a microcosm of a larger pattern of psychotic delusion. I know probably no one is going to read this anyway, but yeah that's what happened. I'm now in the middle of a fairly severe depressive episode and can't really do anything other than shitpost from my bed between moments of existential dread, so I hope maybe someone is entertained....
Thank you. I was. Hope it gets better, friend.
Thats really interesting. Ive had psychotic breaks and of similiar themes of parallel universes and different dimensions that were similiar to each other but not exactly alike
I wish I could remember my psychotic breaks with the amount of detail you do. Really interesting
♡♡♡♡
@@melissadempsey1190 yes same! My brain likes to think mirrors are the parallel universe similar to OP. One of the ways I first self realised I had a psychotic illness was when I googled something specifically about mirrors and the only relevant result was this support blog for family members of schizophrenics and they were all describing them as being weird around mirrors. It's interesting to see the similarities in our brains considering the vast differences between everyone! x
I find it hard to express my sadness about the immense suffering this man had to endure. May he rest in peace.
This man was a genius. All the schizophrenics I personally know are geniuses.
Yes almost like they break themselves.
A sad thing about conditions like his is, even if the heavy medications can control it; the damage they do to the liver is tremendous, and that damage is often why schizophrenia sufferers rarely live beyond their 40s.
I get you are trying to be helpful but your comment pans out to the reader as if those with severe schizophrenia have no hope. If a reader struggling with the illness passes by your comment it will definitely do more harm than good my sister has severe schizophrenia/psychosis and already has hypochondria from med anxiety etc. Try not to fear monger again in a section where a vulnerable mind could muse on such negativity.
@@CrazyAim8 It "pans out" to you that way, perhaps; but consider that not every observation can be carefully elided and tailored to avoid your specific taboos, months ahead of where you may happen upon it.
Every doctor tells their patients (or their caregivers) about the effects of these meds; including those effects. They are facts, not "fear mongering". Wind it back in.
@@dsnodgrass4843 Do you have schizophrenia? Do you know someone with it? are you a psychologist? Or a nihilistic, arm chair Freudian who thinks avoiding empathy makes you a intellectual? I'm gonna wind it forward and presume it's the latter.
It's not fear mongering because it's the "facts" which your statement isn't rooted at all infact to say what you said is to ignorantly presume all schizophrenic's have the same level of neuroticism, therefore taking the same damaging medications. A lot of schizophrenic's take medications that are less harmful than Prozac or run of the mill medications. But it's a spectrum, if you would of worded your statement in a way that wasn't grouping a whole subcategory of mentally ill people under your pseudo fact, you would have been correct.
Therefore it is fear mongering if you actually do know anyone with schizophrenia you would know they already speak with their doctors and know the risks individually. I'm not refuting that, but they are in their own mind always hyper conscious, be it from auditory hallucinations, or intrusive thoughts, or paranoia. These comments stick to their brain just like someone with ocd and they can muse on it. A good majority already overthink everything, your comment isn't helpful or some Greek philosophical wisdom. To most it's common sense, and bears absolutely no fruit.
Your second comment "pans out" as someone who cares about pandering and getting likes on a RUclips comment instead of someone who is empathetic or willing to be rebuked in order to learn more about others illnesses and how we can effect them. Pride is the opposite of intellectual wisdom.
@@CrazyAim8 man was just trying to point out a fact stfu
@@CrazyAim8 it's frankly none of your business what or who I am. And your howling rant I won't even bother with; because you've shown you can't abide being talked back to in any way whatsoever, to the point of shrieking paragraphs.
Hopefully you recover someday.
I’ve wanted to end my life for awhile now and when I watch things like this it always makes me sad. I feel like I’ve gone crazy and that people can tell my looking at me, but I don’t suffer even close to what the people in these types of videos do. It scares me because I don’t know if I will deteriorate mentally like the artists in these videos, and it makes me feel bad like I am faking it because my issues aren’t as bad. What I do know is that it is getting worse, and I’m just faking it like it isn’t. I draw because I need the art to save me
Hey, don't compare your struggles to others, even if your circumstances aren't as severe your struggles are still valid! I mean this in the nicest way possible, but if you feel this way, you should definitely seek professional help (assuming you haven't, but if you have, keep doing it). Things like this shouldn't be swept under the rug and ignored, it usually only gets worse over time
don’t compare yourself to others! just because other people are also suffering doesn’t make you any less valid. it gets better ❤️
Keep pushing!! Stay strong and talk to a dr.
I feel very similarly, I sometimes get suicidal urges and have anxiety, but that is NOTHING compared to what these people are going through and I just feel horrible for feeling that way even though I have it easy
The more you fake it, the worse it gets. You can’t overcome unless you face it head onwards. Running away is easy but victory and hope is found only in being honest about your struggles and admitting that you need all the help you can get.
It can also be a spiritual battle as well, in which case it is absolutely impossible to come out victorious . You only hope is seeking God and putting your trust in his son Christ Jesus, who died for sinners, and who came to set the captives free. God bless you wherever you are friend
Honestly, what a fantastic video! It was a hard watch just because of how close home it hits but the presentation is non judgemental and incredibly respectful. I hope Bryan has found some sort of peace now and I wish this world could help people with such mental illnesses more.
This is wonderfully edited written and produced. Congrats for telling this important story so well
here commenting so the algorithm helps and spreads this around.
the editing and script are amazingly done, and I hope you get more views!
my grandmother had schizophrenia, but she died before i was born. according to my mom, she mostly thought the voices in her head were neighbors, who could somehow see into the house. she interacted with them, engaging in what to her were conversations.
Thank you for sharing this. I am a light sculptor from the Show Me state, and nothing has looked the same to me since an aneurysm in 2017. This helped to calm my fears as I continue to recover. I cannot shake the fear of losing my cognitive abilities. I don't feel so quirky about my concerns now. Art comforts the disturbed and disturbs the comfortable. The last piece to me was the pouring of his Soul.
Quirky is good.
I have no idea how or why this showed up on my recommendation page at like 1 in the morning but sure let’s go down this rabbit hole. Great video
This channel is going to blow up without a doubt . PLEASE don't stop
The whole 'transmitting' thing seems quite common thought with what I heard lots of paranoid schizophrenics seem to be plagued with. Honestly in my secluded home I cannot think of others hearing me. I feel like a perfect secluded invisible thing. But to think of the idea that you can never be alone and you are like a radio transmitting every thought to the outside world and those who hear it cackling at it, or you living in a display box or cage where anyone can see everything is scary. I have felt like that when I was young and my dad worked as a house doctor. Everytime I screamed the patients next door could hear me and it would drive me mad, but it is probably incomparable to this crippling disease where private and public just leaks together and people's minds can just leak into your home or you 'transmit' your privacy uncontrollably to others.
I feel like there was a time in my life I would have found all this disturbing but now I just find it all relatable.
sO qUiRkY
Edgy
You know there was a time in my life were I would find this relatable now I find it disturbing and sad
Get professional help.
People don’t know how defeating and horrifying it is having your own mind attack you. I spent time in a mental ward and it’s sad man..
I'm still coming out of my 2nd psychotic break, after reading the comments I'll come back in a few months. Subscribed :)
I really enjoyed this and was enthralled all the way through- cannot believe how little views there are on such thought provoking content
Many Outsider artists (what a discriminatory construct) should be renamed great artists. His work is excellent. R.I.P.
Makes me appreciate being told I’m stronger. Like, okay I can make it through this gauntlet of punishment. It got me this far. No need to judge if I got the perfect somebody to back me up with that🙂
You did a wonderful job telling his story. I can tell you actually did the research and put a lot of work into this video. Thanks for sharing this story.
This video is so beautiful, it puts bryans art so perfectly on display, its quite ironic really, just like his mind and thoughts, all his art is ours to see, seriously you need to keep this kind of stuff up, its amazing
On a serious note you are a hidden gem, KEEP POSTING you will catch on its inevitable you will make it
The last painting looks like a warped version of Picasso's wheat field. Picasso painted the wheat fields when he was in an insane asylum. Wheat fields when the wind is blowing over them sound like white noise. Bryan's last painting to me is saying he's going in peace. Just my opinion.
The quality of this video was incredible. I was shocked and little bit inspired to see that a channel with only 13k subs made it. You earned my sub!
What a beautiful video essay. Not only did you express his exact feelings It was done in a tasteful and respectful way. He was an amazing artist. ❤️
👁👄👁 oh my god. This gave me lots of insight on schizophrenia and how it feels. It sounds so painful.
His work expresses his emotions so well, I can feel the suicidal tendencies growing in his paintings.
Thank you for sharing. I would of never known this artist if it wasn’t for you. It’s great that he shared his intentions for each painting.
This was a great watch. It really sheds light on the struggles of mental conditions.
I learned about him and his art in my college psych class, it's beautiful. Thank you for making this video so much, not enough people have seen his work
This was a very beautifully done video, and your coverage was very respectful and insightful. This video really deserves a lot more views.
i just found your channel from your francis bacon video, and needless to say, i’m completely obsessed with your videos. i’m a high schooler, i’ve always been obsessed with art even though i’m limited in my own skills. you really bring to light a lot of these artists i’ve never heard of and make me 100% invested in their stories and art. i’m gonna be obsessed with your videos for a while (because of my adhd, i get attached to things i really like very easily and get genuinely obsessed for a long period of time.) so expect to see me a lot more :)
How dark, disturbing his days will have been we can only imagine. But even then we will not
comprehend the full anger and pain of it. Mental health is for some of us so normal, while for
others it is such a hard and long way to grasp.
Thank you for this great video, so well done! Thank you!
Leon
It is devastating to know such conditions can't be cured by modern medicine 😑 He was a really good artist
It can not be cured, but with sufficient support networks, it can be treated and most people can live somewhat regular lives.
@@frogstereighteeng5499 yeah, but he ate so many pills and it seemed to get him in an even worse condition 😔 the games of mind are terrific and horrific at the same time
@@uadevojka He lived alone. He had no one directly near him.
@@frogstereighteeng5499 wrong. Schizophrenia can be cured.
Found his art a few years back. Glad it's starting to get some recognition again; he really was a good artist. Hope he's resting peacefully now
Fantastic video. Very well put together and edited……………..GREAT work all around.
I've been on my blind dweller binge recently. this is def one of my fav vids