Should MARRIAGE be a life sentence?
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- Опубликовано: 2 июн 2024
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00:00 Intro
00:54 Divorce is the only way out of an abusive marriage
13:52 Divorce should be normalised
23:18 Marriage is till death do us path
33:12 Divorce affects the children negatively
38:35 People change after marriage
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If my spouse sexually abused my child I wouldn’t divorce either. I would be a widow. He wouldn’t survive.
Thank you ! A real mother
This!
😂
😂😂😂💯
Louderrrrr!!
An abusive marriage is already a failed marriage.
Exactly
Thank you!!!
thank you
Preach 👏
perfect@@mirandangwenya7487
I can’t even lie😭 that anti divorce side has such a scary mindset ..
Rubbish set of people🤦🏿
The should be jailed already
I'm telling you sis😔, those guys are big f**ls
@@Low_BP4:50
@@Low_BP Or crucified like their savior Jesus Christ.
Not surprised. It’s normalized in most African countries
My heart goes out to the older lady that had to sit there and listen to a bunch of idiots belittle the abuse she suffered while also telling her she was wrong for finally leaving. That little boy is truly scary. Saying things like “divorce won’t help your situation, because if a man wants to kill you he’ll do it still. So you might aswell stay” is BATSHIT CLINICAL CRAZY.
I can’t believe he sat there and made those statements boldly.
That boy was really undermining what she went saying “how do you know divorce would have helped “🤦. I feel like slapping him . Talking about data from Forbes. Wetin Forbes sabi for Nigeria
You are comparing the mindset of people from a society you will never know and visit. Sit back and enjoy the show. Not everyone has Western values.
I can't believe that people would stay in a marriage with someone that sexual abuses their own children. Disgusting! 🤢
Likeee
The woman on orange is very sick
Sick and utterly disgusting!
LITERALLY!! WHAT ON EARTH???
Get her point she said she would report the man and allow the man serve her punishment but get it from her point that she would stay back in that marriage for the sake of the same kids because you have divorced the man and if the man takes you out of the his life also like desist from letting you or your kids lay claim to his family,inheritance etc the kids would have an issue with their roots as much as you would say your roots means shit for example a man would still have to lay claim to a particular place and heritage also this might not be an issue for the female child as she would definitely be married off to her husband and can continue from there but it can seem to be a hard task for the male child to lay claims to.
Also in as much as we want to diminish the role of a father in a home and a mother in home breaking this would impact on the children
People are getting divorce just because the man didn’t buy her human hair silly things like this
“He beats me, yet he loves me.” Oh auntie💀
Likeeeee....very disgusting
Scaryyyy
Likeee ahnn I'm bleeding 💔
Heard of STOCKHOLM SYNDROME? That is what Auntie suffers from. Very sad.
Dumbest thing I’ve heard in 2024
Kids growing up in a toxic environment is way more traumatic than growing up in a broken home!
Most toxic environment are broken homes though😂😂
@@tyronelorenzovalentio3414I don’t why people act like homes with married parents are also not broken and toxic.
“By there fruits you shall know them” and in many African counties the homes are toxic and rotten, so the people are dysfunctional and toxic.
@@tyronelorenzovalentio3414not true. My friend has parents that are still together and she and her younger sister are currently in therapy because of their parents toxic relationship. Her sister was literally cutting herself at 14 years old, she is in an abusive relationship that she refuses to leave.. I’m waiting for the day I receive a call from the police about her partner unaliving her and her older brother is gay/trans (he hasn’t had the surgery though and goes back and forth between genders). All of these issues stem from their parents toxic relationship. She has a little cousin whose parents separated when he was very young though and that boy is doing well as far as I know, he was accepted into the university to study psychology and started first year a few weeks ago.
What do you mean by a "broken home"? What do you think makes a broken home?
@@nolog5948I think as a society we need to stop referring to divorced families as “broken homes”. I know people who got divorced and they are living amicably. Still in each others’ lives, their families are still cordial and friendly with each other. Sometimes people are better off divorced, doesn’t mean anything is broken, so I get you
The Alvin guy saying he is gonna prioritize the child’s future meanwhile he isn’t even prioritizing the child’s present state and well being 😭
If the child's future was in mind he should have divorced and separated. The fact that if the child would have spiraled into taking their own life (I just think) they won't have a future n he'd probably still be in the marriage mxm
Omg this !
Sometimes, it's best not to have children at all, especially people like him
Thissssss… trauma from sexual abuse literally leads people to suicide
People in the anti-divorce section scared me specifically the woman in orange.
Why did they scare you?
Right, she is so scary
Bc they have a very backwards mindset that is harmfull @@peterchibuike7093
My dear, I couldn't watch it. I don't believe in divorce either but I also don't believe in abuse of any kind. Whatever way a victim can be separated from an abuser, it has to be done. If she's separated from him and he stalks her, then more actions must be taken like jail and divorce
@@peterchibuike7093because they rather their husband kill them than leave
The guy with the American-like accent trying to sound sensible but nonsense comes out of his mouth
After consuming American content my whole life, I know that Americans have said the most stupid things you'd ever be unfortunate to hear in life. Case study: Theo von, Joe Biden.
I was looking for this comment…
I really disagreed with his opinions.
Especially when he began to comment on the case of when a child is sexually abused….
It’s easy to sit down in front of the camera and talk about “staying because you’re choosing the child’s future”
The reality of abuse is more serious and nuanced than few sentences in a focus group discussion.
@@tamiausten873💯💯💯
I wonder ooo😢
Very dumb young man!
The woman in orange said she married at 30 which speaks volume why she wouldn't divorce her husband no matter what, because she was desperate and not ready to loose what she taught God answered her prayer for
I disliked the way the were coming at the other woman basing the failure of her marriage on being married at 19😢.
@@BrookEmisikothe woman in orange was so wrong for that . Regardless of your age a marriage can fail. Marrying young or old doesn’t affect your chances of getting abused. What that woman in green went through has nothing to do with the age she married. The anti-divorce section are wrong for undermining what she went through especially that boy with his annoying accent
So we tell little girls "if he hits you he likes you" but then ask later on in her life "If he hits you why did you marry him?"
This
Obviously two different things.
@@AkireMaruhow? rubbish statements like “if he hits you he likes you” plants the seeds for men thinking abuse is ok and women learning to put up with it
The fact that a woman is older, doesn't mean she's wiser.. this video is a clear example..
shes talking like she came to life for a man
Absolutely
So true. She is such a disgrace.
Totally agree
I would be embarrassed if that was my mother.
That woman in orange won’t report that man, she’ll in fact, blame the child he sexually assaulted.
No, she will definitely report him, because she will not be able to stand the trauma at all. Her child is the person been violated, so definitely and truthfully, she will report him.
@@chikarobinson5032I feel like she just said that to save face. Asking if it is true when your child just came to you with something like that is crazy!
@@chikarobinson5032she would not oh, if you hear the way she's talking
Gbam!
She is the type to accuse that child of seducing her husband... Disgusting!
"I don't think divorce is a problem. I think divorce is reather a solution to a problem"
No need a discussion, this dude simplified everything.
When I tell people that I HATE the deep rooted christian patriarchal society in Nigeria, this is EXACTLY what I am talking about. It is MADDENING to see how many women are mistreated but are/feel forced to stay in those relationships because of status, wealth, entrapment, etc.
It’s truly depressing.
Yeah, it's quite heartbreaking. The problem is the misuse of faith when the same faith is actually against most of the things people use to back themselves or their actions. Ignorance is no joke.
Honestly…the religious abuse is so deeply rooted in them..my God i wish mental/sexual/abuse education was easily accessible for them. This shit is sick
Do you think that the Nigerian Muslim societies are better?
@@Nicolelove90 i honestly don't know since my fam is Christian, but probably not.
Dear young African girls! Just because a woman is older doesn’t mean they have the wisdom to advise you. Let this video be the example. No wonder she keeps saying Dievorce she really wants to die for her husband 😂🤣
Preach
Amen 😂
If anyone doesn't know this by now, then they are part of the problem Nigeria has.
Fr sis
😂😂😂😂😂😂that word DIE-VORCE got me irritated EVERY TIME SHE SPOKE IT😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
The lawyer is SUCH A BREATH OF FRESH AIR!
And he’s hot too😂
@reserveeuphoric2283 but he married...😂😂😂😂don't cause him to die-vorce
@@yahphirah182lol
The lawyerrrrr>>>>>
@@yahphirah182 ah😂😂😂
She - " ooh yes he hits me yet he loves me" .
Sent me in another dimension.
Don't let her fool you if he hits you or abuse you leave IMMEDIATELY ASAP
REMEMBER LOVE IS GENTLE AND KIND NOT ABUSIVE IF IT IS ABUSIVE THAN IT AIN'T LOVE BABY GIRL.
The sense was knocked from her head
Now if he almost kills her I hope she wont be saying that. The green girl story was so scary.
No love is greater than respect. If someone truly loves you they respect and hold you in high esteem. No man that loves a woman would want to see her drop a tear let alone beat her. I don’t know what this people think love is. Her mindset is sick and disgusting.
Mama in green. I apologise for this entire experience that you had to go through.
Yet she sounds like the least desirable for marriage.
I am so embarrassed at the woman in orange saying the lady in green was abused because she married young. May God save her from this backward mentality
The lady in the green deserved so much empathy. I am so angry and sad for her
@@makungumand they kept speaking over her when she tried to speak up. Honestly very disgusting the way they were trying to tell her and blame her for all of it.
She has a very boxed kind of mentality and it's a scary thing tbh
I'm so worried for Orange Woman's children. I hope they see through her bullshit.
If a 19 year old young person is old enough to fornicate, or consent to sex. why are they not old enough to get married?
The fact that they are talking near a woman who has been in a coma from abuse is COLD. They should all be ashamed of themselves. Especially the men…who’s abusing you for real! Shat ap
Disgusting people for real. You are your actions and the thoughts you agree with; if they think like that, they’re disgusting
hai bruh go sleep
wdym especially the men? its even more embarrasing that a woman is ignoring all the counter points and just repeating that she cant leave her husband
This is a reason domestic issues never get resolved. It is this naivety that men don't get abused. Until society begins to probe the triggers, na so we go dey talk am even in 1 million years. I wonder why those inexperienced children are on stage discussing a very serious issue like this. It's gonna get worse now that single parenting is the norm with fathers completely shut out of their children's lives. Society deserves what it gets, ultimately.
26:40 i love how someone finally told Alvin to reference the "data" that he has been basing his argument on😭😭😭
8:20 the most traumatic thing you can do to your child who was sexually abused by her father is have them both in the same household and force her to relive the trauma by seeing his face each day. He did it once he will most certainly do it again. He already crossed that boundary.
Dear Alvin's future wife, I pray you watch this video and run
Screaming!!!!😂😂😂😂
Amen
Dead😭😭😂
I hope she sees this video before she even decides to marry him 😰
Real bro needs mental evaluation
That American guy needs to know that being the loudest in the room doesn’t make you the most intelligent
Bro is 19 at best. The lack of exposure is screaming. Didn’t make up to 2 sentences that made sense.
I wish they allowed the guy on green t-shirt to speak more.
The guy spews nonsense. I am actually scared for him and his future wife....
Wrong and strong 💀💀💀
Ikr 😊😅😅😂😂
That boy is too young to there sef
That poor women in green. Going thru divorce and the whole village against her. I'm happy she still went thru it
Many are mad...few are roaming.
We need more more conversations like this to expose how deficient people can be in their thinking.
Mummy Green, Guy in Green and the Lawyer...God bless and keep you all.
The lady in green is such an inspiration. We stan a woman with self-respect❤
Yes
I respect her courage 🎉
God bless her fr❤
Absolutely!!
That should be the standard to be honest. It shouldn't be this shocking to think like a decent human being.
Beautiful mother in green they’re saying her marrying at 19 is the reason she got abused , but the one who married at 30 sat up there and said he beats her but loves her. This is too much
Really, a man can hit you once, twice, then you think deep and ask, do you think you can still stay, if no, just leave for a period, have a retreat, live your life, meet different people who will tell you good or evil things, weigh them, then tell yourself whether you want to continue with the marriage or not. Have a dialogue with your partner, and find out from your partner if he or she is ready to make amends.
Her brain cells is not working again I feel like hugging the woman in green
I believe this is just for entertainment because 😭😭😭 howwwww are these people humans?
Honestly...she's very wrong for using that against her, abuse is abuse whether your 19 or 30.
i love her. may Allah reward her with better
They are lying to push their own narrative. Some children beg their parents to divorce because they’re tired of seeing the fights.
Not only that, many abuse partners are abusive parents.
@@immaculatepeter5529 THANK YOU!!!! like protect your children
The one with the cap you’ve been married for only 3 years and you’ve separated a lot🤦🏻♀️ that says a lot
Exactly!!!!!
Alvin is so ignorant about life it's shocking. His accent makes things worse because people in Nigeria like to think people who have such accents are more exposed and likely more intelligent. I don't think this debate inspired me in any way, I left utterly disgusted by the thinking of the anti-divorce crew. May God help them.
It was an eye opener. I think this video needed to exist I wasn’t aware ppl were so open about these beliefs. I thought it was behind closed doors.
He's unsufferable. Like he speaks only to irritate people
The part were he says " the abuse has already happened " when they spoke about the sexual abuse of the child.
Disgusting empty headed man .
they embarrassed the entre argument
May God help the American guy. He really has a way to go and has life experiences to go through. The lady in orange who believes in marriage till death no matter what must be lucky in hers (or enduring some horrors and is under immense denial). The uncle with a hat, I don’t even know where to start with him. He wants people to judge divorcees no matter what which is just scary! Let’s be human
To the woman in green, you have my heart, even after telling your story you were ridiculed and judged….i hope you get all the happiness and joy you deserve you made a beautiful decision and no one should put you down for it ❤
Yes
And she is the honest sincere pure hearted person among devilish judgmental people
Hard agree❤
And she is smart and broader than the other lady.
I love the way the woman in green stood on business despite the silly opinions of people!!!! She really deserved to be free from her abusive relationship
Alvin is the one that's raising a traumatized generation 😭😂
I really love this lawyer and the lady in green❤
Cruise TV, please tell the woman in green that we love her. She made the right decision and she should NEVER regret it. Her life is more precious than people’s opinions. Sending love, joy and God’s blessings her way!
shes going to be a role model for those in that situation that are scared to leave or have no family that agrees with separation
We love and admire her!
I agreeee!
We are proud of her!
She spoke wisely. When did the Holy Bible say, you must lose your sanity, safety, peace, and life for the sake of marriage.
Then blaming her for getting married at 19 instead of blaming the man for abuse baffled me😢
They always blame the victim
Like i was shocked
Nigerian culture for you
Exactly. Like your takeaway from her telling you all that her husband continuously abused her, put her in a coma multiple times, almost killing over the span of 25 years, was that that she got married at 19? Borderline insinuating that it was her bad judgement of getting married young that put her in that situation? Also Alvin needs to stfu because why was he even there
Absolutely disgusting behaviour!!!
the man and the woman in the green, and the lawyer ABSOLUTELY CARRIED THIS😭
"Lack of communication is worse than abuse" okayy
Ikr like how much work is your brain doing to make that make sense.
The woman wearing green should be a marriage counsellor, she is intelligent and outspoken.
💯💯
Exactly
Very
Mama in the orange…
She is the type who would not believe her child would as abused all for the sake of remaining married. That is very scary. Just to claim being a married woman.. she would accept any and every form of bad treatment and abuse
Totally!
Then why are you giving her the honor of Mama? It’s these cultural norms that give people like her the audacity to think they deserve respect.
That’s what I was thinking. If she has kids I really pray that she doesn’t pass that mentality to them. It’s sad
@@kasmirsdaughter6211 Is she not a mother?
I’m not going to disrespect her because I don’t agree with her ideology.
Mama.. aunty.. woman.. lady..whatever. You knew who I was referring to.. so that’s suffice.
@@nathaliedias243 oh I’m sure she will. I pray her children don’t accept it.
The man wearing the hat in the anti-divorce group is honestly very sick for saying people who get divorced should be stigmatized. Most people who get divorced honestly try to work things out before calling it off. You can never know what some people have been through in abusive marriages unless u live it yourself!!
Mama in green, you’re a star. I love you, your children are lucky to have you. You prioritised your children’s mental health and overall well-being. Mr Fisayo, your reasoning is amazing, you know what you’re talking about. Olatubosun, you’re a man and I commend your honesty and bravery in speaking the truth. Alvin must just be a real life chipmunk, because he’s spewing venom.
E say na real chipmunk..
Rubbish personnn😢
I am so happy they included a Lawyer in this panel. Simply because he is calling out Alvin's bullshit 😂
Fr!! And Alvin really tried to argue with him😭
Thissss!!!! Lmao Alvin aggravates me fr
These anti divorce people made me SICK!!! Putting your child's "financial future" (or so they say) over their SAFTEY! Worrying about getting help for the partner that abused your child??? I am disgusted! Another reason why I am SOOOO grateful to have the mother I have in my life because how could ya'll not protect your children??!
I’m pretty sure they don’t even care about the “financial future” of the child, it was a lie to make them not look bad. Even if the child is 100% guaranteed to have a financial future, they will find another excuse, and another, and another. These people will never leave criminal spouses no matter what. Disgusting
The fact that they had to lie, is enough proof that they’re wrong, but dumb people never accept they’re wrong
I mean the child might not even live to enjoy that financial security due to the emotional torture
What future will the child have after suffering sm abuse money or no money I would never let my child stay with an abuser
@@idrk1507 yea ik that’s why I put financial future into quotations because that was just an excuse used
@@BrookEmisiko Ik! that’s why my comment points out how disgusting it is
As a Christian it broke my heart when the anti divorce woman said she would not divorce her husband if he allegedly SA’ed a hypothetical child… according to the Bible there are certain circumstances that allow divorce… Adultery (in Deuteronomy 24:1, affirmed by Jesus in Matthew 19) Emotional and physical neglect (in Exodus 21:10-11, affirmed by Paul in 1 Corinthians 7)… I have a beautiful son and a great husband but if he ever harmed my child in a sexual manner… my then ex husband would not be on this earth after I heard the truth. There is a difference between fighting for your marriage if the passion dies or something that can be slowly worked on, but a evil act like domestic abuse and sexual violence against ANYONE is enough evidence in Gods eyes to protect his children who were failed by a man that converses with the devil in his actions…
So let me ask you this what use does a spiritual being in the sky have for legal marriage that is a human construct?
Notice how they raised there hands up to say people change after marriage but they were also saying that marriage fails because you’re too young and you didn’t see the signs of a bad partner…..
No logic whatsoever
Staying in a marriage after your child is sexually abused is the most disgusting and stupid thing to say🚮
I thought the same way. I really thought everyone would have the same thinking to at least separate. But no they wanted to stay, and STILL let the child be around the abuser.
Divorcing is not even a question. The question is what would happen after. He or she should rot in jail
Ikr! It is non negotiable! Can you imagine that someone is even contemplating whether or not one would even leave?!! I don't understand people.
Not that woman in orange saying “he hits me yet he loves me” LOL 💀
Trauma bond
😂😂😂
Crazy right?
delulu...
😂@@laifakumo8183
Dead ass like wtf
Lord Jesus, if someone like Alvin or that mad man with the cap decides to look in my general direction physically remove me from their line of sight
Amen!
Trying to save face about a failed marriage by just separating just so you don’t get divorce is crazy.
The fact that lady in orange said "If you are saying you have passed through beating, maybe you have not passed through the one I’ve passed through" to the lady in green when she said she was abused by her husband. But later blamed her for marrying at 19 when she herself married at 30 and got the same treatment. May God protect any girl with a mother like this.
Aswear…. I was looking for this comment. She nor just get sense
She is not mentally stable
As innnnnn ha ! Can you imagine ?!
The woman's take was just scarryyy
😮😮😮😮
To witness with my own eyes that some human beings still have such backwards views on divorce is an embarrassment.
It’s alarming
😂😂haaa! I just can't can! It is well.
Unfortunately parts of Nigerian culture is very backwards
Exactly, My prayer is they marry a narcissistic abuser
It’s a good thing we can have this conversation
Well, you hear stories about parents who stay with spouses that abuse their children all the time. It's not like we didn't know such ppl exist, it's just wild to hear them say it out loud
True, disturbing af hearing it out loud tho
I don’t like the way most people on the panel are trying to silence or invalidate the experience of the woman on green on grounds of "she got married at 19". It's insane
Like 😭🙏🏾 it's sickening
“ If I’m the child, I will arrest you and my father”😂😂😂
I shouted YESS with him😂😂😂
Fact😂
This one got me🤣🤣🤣🤣@@ibukunoluwaadeoye
👏👏👏he was sensible 😂
Notice how Alvin is the youngest, least experienced, and never been a husband… yet he’s the loudest & most passionate…. Some men need to learn to listen😂
Simply because he isn't doesn't mean he has nothing to give. We don't know what he has experienced that has made him that passionate.
He is respectfully disagreeing... Abeg.. you that is married and older haven't you done worse in a situation you are passionate about...
It's opinion sha but he also said alot of nonsense@@belindatumwine358
@@belindatumwine358 I’m not married or older than him, that’s why I came to listen to experienced people. Too bad he talks over everyone with a real perspective.
Just loud and foaming at the mouth 😂😂😂😂
He needs a lot more experience. Half of the things he said made little to no sense
As a British Nigerian - some of the mentalities that are still held today is quite sad. God help us ...Lady in Green Epele ma 🙏🏾🤍
The woman in green is strong
A mother that got pregnant with her child, 9 months or more. Your child comes to you and tells you that her father, your husband has been assaulting her and the first thing you’ll ask her is ‘is it true?’
That woman wearing orange… wherever her children are, I hope they are healing.
Best comment lol
As in I can't even imagine what her children must have gone through living through trauma just because Auntie wants to keep her "Mrs" title... Pathetic.
If a man hits you, you feel pain. If a man loves you, he will never want to see you hurt.
Exactly 👏
SIMPLE
“Remember the good times”. Crazy arse people.
@@Idkchangethislater what!?🤣🤣🤣
@@Idkchangethislaterlike?? That was wild
If the world was a square shape, and the woman in orange told the woman in green that she got abused because she married at 19, we can also make the assumption that she refuses to divorce because she married at 30. But the world isn't square
I had a bunch of Nigerian women as roommates when I was in university. We used to have this same debate and I was in complete shock then, as I am now. However now, reading these comments I am validated in my rage and disgust. I will never choose to, nor want to understand this anti-divorce mindset.
Btw, It’s not limited to Nigerians of course, just speaking on my experience.
Alvin is so loud and wrong it’s insane.
😆facts
Empty barrels make the most noise
The problem with educated fools
Alvin is forming dissident to be on camera. He never answered any of the questions posed. Never addressed divorce in abusive marriages. He was ONLY focused on marriages due to a lack of commitment, and that was NEVER the topic.
Alvin 🤮
Mama in orange is just ancient and she REFUSES to change her way of thinking
That guy with the hat lied that he has experienced abuse, he was definitely the abuser, probably still is! Mxm
What a disturbing episode. For people to make excuses for pedophiles is absurd.
That’s Africa for you. They will sometime use sorcelery to excuse it sometime accuse the abused the child. Some women may even know what they husband is doing to their child and start hating the child. Because they husband finds the child attractive not them.instead of protecting the child and denouncing the predator.
And inc@st 🤮🤮
I'm telling you 😢
very
It's vile
Some people don't deserve to have children, May God protect us all
I'm afraid I have to disagree with Mrs. Jane, I got married at 31 and ended up divorced. So for Mrs. Elizabeth getting married at the of 19 is not the cause of her divorce or failed marriage.
Alvin isn't making any sense , "prioritising" your child's future by keeping them in the same traumatising environment where they should have felt the safest at the expense of their mental health and wellness? Please crack another joke. This isn't so funny. 🙄
😂😂😂he is just using accent with no brain 🧠
Oh well they’ve already been traumatised - Alvin’s logic
Happy the lawyer cleared him on that. Hopefully he learned.
@@Idkchangethislateryup, that’s basically what he’s saying
@@enne2106 thank God for that lawyer oh. The way they (orange lady, Alvin and hat guy) were saying help the man as if r@pe isn't an actual crime 🙆🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️. Thank God he was there, he was even anti- divorce and yet.
My problem is if I came on this show I’ll insult somebody 😭
Na that Alvin I go insult 😂
No literally idk how they’re so calm 😂
I swearrrr😂, that Alvin guy is so irritating. The loudest in the room, but he is an empty head
Me, in fact, I will fight 😂
Fr i swear, cos nobody on the outside world would tell you how foolish you are
These anti-divorce ppl are scary af.
35:55 the fact that he said they’ve separated countless times in 3yrs is a RED FLAG!!!
I hope Auntie in green, her days are filled with love and blessings.
As for the one in orange..I pray for her kids
Those men in anti divorce should be closely monitored. The amount of times I was shocked at the nonsense coming out of their mouth
I pity the ladies that will get married to them 😢
My god. None of the anti-divorce people should have children. How foul.
These are abusers hiding behind abusive parts of religious culture.
Honestly 😢😢
People have different opinions and views, you might not agree with them but you have no right to judge them or castigate them.
@@ay1ismi will proudly judge and castigate anyone who will standby and watch someone rape an innocent child in the name of “anti-divorce”. You people are mad.
@@caramelgumdrop393 Where does she say she would wait and watch innocent children being raped in the name of anti divorce? You see the reason why it is important to argue with the head instead of emotions. She even clearly said she would separate from the person and have him dealt with by the law. But then, one shouldn't expect any better from a dvmb insecure person with fragile emotions like you who cannot make any constructive argument but to throw insults.
The woman in orange is against herself, she’s already in a broken home but just managing it.
Children from broken home are definitely not happy, but children that lives in an abusive environment are depressed!!!! Children that live to see how their mother is maltreated everyday are broken, they are the ones that are abused indirectly
Divorce is not a solution
You divorce to survive.
as a child that was sexually abused by a "parent", I have a large resentment for the parent who knew and stayed. i would've rather been homeless and had that person out of our lives then grow up feeling like my abuse wasn't "important" enough to do anything about
edit: thank you for the love and concern. Yes i was abused as a child by "parent" and although this statement is angry, I do want it known that there is another side to that anger. I am in a position where I am not overcome by that anger and sadness of being betrayed by not only a parent who abused me but also a parent who found out and chose to stay and act like it never happened. That choice was made after enduring 5 years of abuse at the age of 9 and I continued to be abused until I was 16, and once more at 19 before I chose to put myself first and leave. As a child who endured this life, I cannot understand why a parent who said they loved me and wanted me to live a good life would do that. Please listen to your kids and remember that they are your responsibility. No one who has endured this abuse is responsible for it, the abuser is. They took advantage of a child and your willingness to overlook their crime. Please hold them responsible because the second you decide to give them another chance, you are now responsible for the abuse your child has endured and you have altered that child's life forever.
to all those who have met a similar fate of abuse; I am so sorry you ever had to and my heart aches for you because I know and understand a lot of that pain and betrayal. i wish nothing but healing and love your way because that should've never happened.
I'm so sorry if that was your experience 💔😞
I’m sorry. God bless you.
That parent that stayed is weak and neither of them deserved you. I’m glad you are still here. ❤
So sorry you went through all that…
"When my father and mother abondon me, the lord will take me up."
Psalm 27:10
I too have been sexually abused by a relative (uncle) but my mom made me apologize. She and my dad abandoned me in my greatest time of need.
But know that God saw everything.
Young women please avoid that young boy in the blue sleeveless jumper. His views are scary! Also the man in the blue shirt invalidating the lady in Greens lived experiences! A woman that has been married for 25 years is explaining to you the reason she couldn’t continue with her marriage and you who has only been married for 3 but in your own words “separated multiple times” is saying you need to correct her becasue she’s wrong! Absolute madness
I can't 😂😂😂
I heard 3 years marriage and already separated and I wondered, those 25 years marriage he's correcting he might only hear it.
You can obviously tell he is the problem in his own relationship and I hope his supposed wife sees this video and start filling for a divorce soon. LMAO
Where did they bring these anti-divorce set of people from? Ahhhhhh😮 they shock me ooo.
I think they are just making/speaking their points based on acting just as we did when we were in primary school. Because what the f***!!!
@barbaraodiah6535 The worst on the panel is that "American wanna be"
This lawyer Fisayo has such a healthy mindset. Even his perspective on “People change in marriages”, was so positive and from a healthy place. Love it!
I’m from a home where my parents fought physically since I was old enough to know what fighting is and I can tell you that I prayed everyday for them to divorce when I was older!! It only got worse as I grew older and experiencing such trauma only complicated their children’s lives so yeah I SUPPORT DIVORCE!!!
Btw, Alvin and the lady in orange are not who they think they are. Is receiving beating from a man a competition ma???
KUDOS TO THE LAWYER , DUDE IN GREEN AND THE WOMAN IN GREEN! Y’all spoke nothing but facts♥️
You put your hands on me or my children. You won't need a divorce. You're going to need funeral arrangements.
I’m sorry I don’t condone violence but enh sha cook jollof
@@user-tf2iy6yw5t lmaooooooooooo
@@user-tf2iy6yw5t😂
😂Send us invite, free food will be well needed In This economy 😂😂😂😂
😂😂
that woman is sharing her traumatic experiences and being vulnerable and this two people , Alvin and Lady in orange were heavily invalidating her experiences. my heart broke every time her voice broke. I would have defended her if I was there.
Lady in orange reminds me of the barrister who burned her house maid with iron
When her voice was breaking when she said ‘can’t someone hear me’ because they all shouted over her. Wicked people
@@AfrogirrlI think that’s how she also felt when people kept coming to tell her to remain in the marriage. She felt trappped in that marriage again. I’m so angry for her
What! Let me guess , for cheating??😭😭
@@Afrogirrlvery wicked people , Its more than ignorance .
I have never been so annoyed before….the anti-divorce crew are extremely shallow….love is not abuse….sometimes there are no signs…you dated an actor…marriage is not a death sentence
On this “Divorce Affects Children” topic, please let the children speak for themselves.
Personally, as someone from a broken home, I am way happier with my parents divorced than when they were together. In fact, it was an answered prayer.
The anti-divorce side is vexing me
I think they're intentionally sthupeeed for content cuz no sane person can say what they said.
@@joeadeleke you would be suprised
@@joeadelekeive heard people say such in normal conversations
Honestly insane
you would be surprised lol, many older nigerian women think like this, its so sad .@@joeadeleke
30:55 these goats are gaslighting this woman even after she almost died. Marriage at a young age isn't the cause of abuse. An abuser does his/her thing no matter who the victim is.
Yeah, that was sad to watch. Talking about she shouldn't have married at 19. That is the problem. You were too young to know not to talk back. Bunch of cave like minds. What! How the people that put this conversation together didn't think to have someone there to make sure they are listening, empathizing, making sense, etc is what I'm trying to understand. What is even the goal here?
An abuser is more likely to target younger people with less experience.
That part made me really sad
@@nata7536girls especially in Nigeria are less likely to date others and have experience in general
They are so wrong for this
These anti divorce people are scaring me !! I mean what’s wrong with them ??? Staying with a man( or a woman) that sexually abused your child?! Are you mad ???
As this Alvin guy just Dey talk my blood just Dey boil
I swear
And the brother wearing that hat🤦
This channel really opened my eyes on how some people have dangerous mindsets, we are so doomed🙆🏽♂️
Facts 😭
Like!!! Am wowed 😢😮
Am telling you very dangerous mindset . God help us oh!!!🎉❤
Right
Most people have very problematic belief systems.
“Yes he hits me but he still loves me” is a wild statement to utter out of your mouth 😂😂😂😂
She summed up her lack of common sense, with that statement.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Asin 😂
Then let’s say her daughter later marries and complains that her husband hit her what will she na say😂
This man really asked who is going to help the man??????
Not even the child that was abused??
I'm burning up with anger right now😡
Some people just spill nonsense out of their mouth
That part got me soooo angry too! Like someone earlier commented, if I was there, I might have insulted someone.
16:35 children are indeed the beginning of empires, and that is why we should protect them from an abusive parent and bad role models😤
The dark woman in glasses was obviously talking from a place of great pain and bad experiences but at the same time she wasn't talking as a victim to invoke pity from the rest, she was speaking as a survivor as a victor, her kids should be so proud of the mother they have, that's a strong woman right there.
I love that she was also trying to advice. She explained show she tried it and though it would be fixed. Her saying she would have left after year 1 was so depressing since she stayed for 25 years. But it helps others understand that once you know it’s unsafe you need to get away.
i swear standing ovation for her
Not them gaslighting the mama on green … that she married too young… ridiculous… as if it wasn’t a norm then ….
Exactly
As in when they started doing that I felt like jumping into the screen 😂😂. I would not have stood for it at all!!!
And the other woman married at 30 and was being abused too
The woman on Orange really disgusts me seriously with her mentality, saying oh because she married early thats why she didn't choose right. Madam married at 30 and was bragging about how the beating she endured isn't compared to what the lady on green endured. It's how she is so proud of such marriage. And the constant repetition of oh her parents said no divorce, these things are most times fed to Nigerian girls so when they find their selves in terrible situations like this, they would rather die than leave the marriage. Hmm....what a sorry world to live in
Abuse can be psychological ,sexual, verbally and financially
So glad there was an actual legal practitioner to quell the rubbish.
Yeah
With so much wisdom
True
The fact that people can hear stories of abuse and still say they should not divorce but stay is insanity to me. I hope Nigerians can be freed of this mentality one day.
They didn’t say stay. They said get separated but not divorced.
Auntie Jane is scary. Please young women don’t die in marriage. Empower yourselves. Work hard . Don’t stay with a monster because of financial support. If you’re with a mentally unstable person, it won’t get better. Bro America doesn’t have an idea of toxic relationships.
@@honestfriend767 why not get divorced?? I don’t understand
@@honestfriend767 please if the reason has to do with Christianity I beg you do not twist the bible because it is not a sin to divorce if your spouse is abusive, or has engaged in sexual immorality. God is not evil, He does not want His people to suffer, so why are our people enforcing this suffering in God’s name? That is sinful! The twisted teaching that in any case divorce is a sin is wrong. Read your bible please. 🙏🏾
@@jessicamarie6448Amen.
I actually enjoyed this video so much. Personally I see so much sense from the lawyer’s perspective and the woman on blue dress as well.
Abusive marriages is an absolute no for me. Mental,emotional,physical abuse in a marriage doesn’t only affect the couple but also the children. Being separated to sort things out is not a bad idea but if it isn’t working you shouldn’t hurt yourself even more by staying in that marriage.
In Nigeria I feel our culture and traditions has affected how we think. Why stigmatize a divorcee especially when you have no idea what exactly warranted the divorce. It’s crazy really. No one prays for a bad marriage but sometimes people actually find out the bitterness of this and can’t live their lives in pain all because of societal stigma. People will always talk anyway so make the best decision for yourself and children as the case might be.
Also sexually molestation/ abuse, either a minor or adult is a very big crime. I’ve seen situations where women stay with their rapist husbands all because of where will they go,how will they start afresh,why did the girl dress like that. Hmm, even when this involves a minor o. It’s really a stupid act,that woman shouldn’t be a mother and they are both supposed to be jailed if she conceals it. The sad fact is women conceal these things sometimes all to protect the criminal who is their husband all because of the Union.
Staying with a criminal after knowing what exactly they are capable of is a choice really. But that woman on orange doesn’t even seem like who will report such. She initially said she’ll ask the daughter if it’s true😒why would she lie on her own father as a kid,it’s crazy ooo but that’s aside sha. Though I feel that woman just totally hates the concept of divorce and can explain why she keeps hitting on being separated instead of divorced.
i dont know who is responsible for selecting who comes on this show, but the person does an incredible job
Actually