The fact that they are talking near a woman who has been in a coma from abuse is COLD. They should all be ashamed of themselves. Especially the men…who’s abusing you for real! Shat ap
This is a reason domestic issues never get resolved. It is this naivety that men don't get abused. Until society begins to probe the triggers, na so we go dey talk am even in 1 million years. I wonder why those inexperienced children are on stage discussing a very serious issue like this. It's gonna get worse now that single parenting is the norm with fathers completely shut out of their children's lives. Society deserves what it gets, ultimately.
I am so embarrassed at the woman in orange saying the lady in green was abused because she married young. May God save her from this backward mentality
@@makungumand they kept speaking over her when she tried to speak up. Honestly very disgusting the way they were trying to tell her and blame her for all of it.
After consuming American content my whole life, I know that Americans have said the most stupid things you'd ever be unfortunate to hear in life. Case study: Theo von, Joe Biden.
I was looking for this comment… I really disagreed with his opinions. Especially when he began to comment on the case of when a child is sexually abused…. It’s easy to sit down in front of the camera and talk about “staying because you’re choosing the child’s future” The reality of abuse is more serious and nuanced than few sentences in a focus group discussion.
I'm a Filipino and please pray for us to have Divorce legalized in our country! 🇵🇭 The fight towards those anti-divorce is exhausting. Edit: Divorce is for those who badly need it. We shouldn't prohibit someone from getting what they need just because we don't need it and don't experience or suffer the same abuse that they do.
@@b_fermin so those trapped in abusive relationships can finally be free. We need you to practice humanity and empathize with those suffering from abuse.
My dear, I couldn't watch it. I don't believe in divorce either but I also don't believe in abuse of any kind. Whatever way a victim can be separated from an abuser, it has to be done. If she's separated from him and he stalks her, then more actions must be taken like jail and divorce
To the woman in green, you have my heart, even after telling your story you were ridiculed and judged….i hope you get all the happiness and joy you deserve you made a beautiful decision and no one should put you down for it ❤
The man wearing the hat in the anti-divorce group is honestly very sick for saying people who get divorced should be stigmatized. Most people who get divorced honestly try to work things out before calling it off. You can never know what some people have been through in abusive marriages unless u live it yourself!!
@@glubasuar7554that was honestly one of the worst things he said not that he talked much he was mostly agreeing, but I don't get how you can have that mindset and just walk in the public like you're normal
My heart goes out to the older lady that had to sit there and listen to a bunch of idiots belittle the abuse she suffered while also telling her she was wrong for finally leaving. That little boy is truly scary. Saying things like “divorce won’t help your situation, because if a man wants to kill you he’ll do it still. So you might aswell stay” is BATSHIT CLINICAL CRAZY.
That boy was really undermining what she went saying “how do you know divorce would have helped “🤦. I feel like slapping him . Talking about data from Forbes. Wetin Forbes sabi for Nigeria
I think divorce helps but I understand what he means by if your husband wants to kill you, he still can, even after the fact. A divorce cannot stop a psycho. And it is because there has been many instances like this. As long as he has access to you and your children. It depends on how bad the people in question are. Just be careful out there people!❤
Dear young African girls! Just because a woman is older doesn’t mean they have the wisdom to advise you. Let this video be the example. No wonder she keeps saying Dievorce she really wants to die for her husband 😂🤣
No, she will definitely report him, because she will not be able to stand the trauma at all. Her child is the person been violated, so definitely and truthfully, she will report him.
@@chikarobinson5032I feel like she just said that to save face. Asking if it is true when your child just came to you with something like that is crazy!
Cruise TV, please tell the woman in green that we love her. She made the right decision and she should NEVER regret it. Her life is more precious than people’s opinions. Sending love, joy and God’s blessings her way!
Alvin is so ignorant about life it's shocking. His accent makes things worse because people in Nigeria like to think people who have such accents are more exposed and likely more intelligent. I don't think this debate inspired me in any way, I left utterly disgusted by the thinking of the anti-divorce crew. May God help them.
May God help the American guy. He really has a way to go and has life experiences to go through. The lady in orange who believes in marriage till death no matter what must be lucky in hers (or enduring some horrors and is under immense denial). The uncle with a hat, I don’t even know where to start with him. He wants people to judge divorcees no matter what which is just scary! Let’s be human
Mama in the orange… She is the type who would not believe her child would as abused all for the sake of remaining married. That is very scary. Just to claim being a married woman.. she would accept any and every form of bad treatment and abuse
@@kasmirsdaughter6211 Is she not a mother? I’m not going to disrespect her because I don’t agree with her ideology. Mama.. aunty.. woman.. lady..whatever. You knew who I was referring to.. so that’s suffice.
The fact that lady in orange said "If you are saying you have passed through beating, maybe you have not passed through the one I’ve passed through" to the lady in green when she said she was abused by her husband. But later blamed her for marrying at 19 when she herself married at 30 and got the same treatment. May God protect any girl with a mother like this.
These anti divorce people are scaring me !! I mean what’s wrong with them ??? Staying with a man( or a woman) that sexually abused your child?! Are you mad ???
Beautiful mother in green they’re saying her marrying at 19 is the reason she got abused , but the one who married at 30 sat up there and said he beats her but loves her. This is too much
Really, a man can hit you once, twice, then you think deep and ask, do you think you can still stay, if no, just leave for a period, have a retreat, live your life, meet different people who will tell you good or evil things, weigh them, then tell yourself whether you want to continue with the marriage or not. Have a dialogue with your partner, and find out from your partner if he or she is ready to make amends.
The woman in orange said she married at 30 which speaks volume why she wouldn't divorce her husband no matter what, because she was desperate and not ready to loose what she taught God answered her prayer for
@@BrookEmisikothe woman in orange was so wrong for that . Regardless of your age a marriage can fail. Marrying young or old doesn’t affect your chances of getting abused. What that woman in green went through has nothing to do with the age she married. The anti-divorce section are wrong for undermining what she went through especially that boy with his annoying accent
Don't mind her. Saying teenagers should not get married. Did the other lady say her husband was a teenager too. I'm thinking he was even way older. So her point is useless.
*"Oh yeah, he hits me but yet he loves me"* , that auntie never heard of STOCKHOLM SYNDROME. Her life is basically an average Wattpad story written for fun by a 13-year-old immature teen. This is what she was taught, and this is what she believes. Can't imagine how horrible it is that she will teach the same to her children. *"Will you still stay with your husband if he sexually assaulted your child?" Her: "Yes"* What the actual f***? I hope her child doesn't see this video. *"You ignored the signs before, continue ignoring them"*, *"I've been 3 years in marriage now. Within that time, me and my wife have separated countless times."* 35:39 Yes sir, it sure is VERY visible considering your opinions. I feel bad for his wife. He *'thinks'* that it would be better FOR HIS SON if his son lives with him (that's just his assumptions). Did he consider that he and his actions might be the reason of his son's dilemma? And I have nothing to say about that immature boy questioning that woman about her trauma and abuse. Literally everything he said was a bunch of BS. Why are they normalizing any form of abuse in the first place?! This is absolutely horrifying to know these kinds of people exist and this is what they'll do, and this is what they'll teach other people, especially younger generations. Unbelievable!
I thought the same way. I really thought everyone would have the same thinking to at least separate. But no they wanted to stay, and STILL let the child be around the abuser.
These anti divorce people made me SICK!!! Putting your child's "financial future" (or so they say) over their SAFTEY! Worrying about getting help for the partner that abused your child??? I am disgusted! Another reason why I am SOOOO grateful to have the mother I have in my life because how could ya'll not protect your children??!
I’m pretty sure they don’t even care about the “financial future” of the child, it was a lie to make them not look bad. Even if the child is 100% guaranteed to have a financial future, they will find another excuse, and another, and another. These people will never leave criminal spouses no matter what. Disgusting The fact that they had to lie, is enough proof that they’re wrong, but dumb people never accept they’re wrong
Why would the lady in orange do everything but get a divorce? 😭 She'll leave, she'll take her kids, she'll send her husband to jail, she'll never speak to that man again but divorce is out of the question???
Honestly!!! I don't usually comment but I genuinely don't understand what she has against that word 😮 she'll do everything but divorce including separation and jail so why's she so against divorce?? It's baffling.
Exactly. Like your takeaway from her telling you all that her husband continuously abused her, put her in a coma multiple times, almost killing over the span of 25 years, was that that she got married at 19? Borderline insinuating that it was her bad judgement of getting married young that put her in that situation? Also Alvin needs to stfu because why was he even there
as a child that was sexually abused by a "parent", I have a large resentment for the parent who knew and stayed. i would've rather been homeless and had that person out of our lives then grow up feeling like my abuse wasn't "important" enough to do anything about edit: thank you for the love and concern. Yes i was abused as a child by "parent" and although this statement is angry, I do want it known that there is another side to that anger. I am in a position where I am not overcome by that anger and sadness of being betrayed by not only a parent who abused me but also a parent who found out and chose to stay and act like it never happened. That choice was made after enduring 5 years of abuse at the age of 9 and I continued to be abused until I was 16, and once more at 19 before I chose to put myself first and leave. As a child who endured this life, I cannot understand why a parent who said they loved me and wanted me to live a good life would do that. Please listen to your kids and remember that they are your responsibility. No one who has endured this abuse is responsible for it, the abuser is. They took advantage of a child and your willingness to overlook their crime. Please hold them responsible because the second you decide to give them another chance, you are now responsible for the abuse your child has endured and you have altered that child's life forever. to all those who have met a similar fate of abuse; I am so sorry you ever had to and my heart aches for you because I know and understand a lot of that pain and betrayal. i wish nothing but healing and love your way because that should've never happened.
"When my father and mother abondon me, the lord will take me up." Psalm 27:10 I too have been sexually abused by a relative (uncle) but my mom made me apologize. She and my dad abandoned me in my greatest time of need. But know that God saw everything.
“Teenagers are not supposed to get married, you’re supposed to get experience on marriage”, madam please shut up. You married later but they still beat you.
But also it’s the description of some ideal life. “You shouldn’t get married young” “you should marry the right person” sure, everyone can agree with that. But what if you do?? You can’t correct the mistake you made, you should just live with an abuser?? Also they treat it as “take responsibility of your actions” well so maybe an abusive partner can take responsibility of their abuse in a form of divorce.
@@tyronelorenzovalentio3414I don’t why people act like homes with married parents are also not broken and toxic. “By there fruits you shall know them” and in many African counties the homes are toxic and rotten, so the people are dysfunctional and toxic.
@@tyronelorenzovalentio3414not true. My friend has parents that are still together and she and her younger sister are currently in therapy because of their parents toxic relationship. Her sister was literally cutting herself at 14 years old, she is in an abusive relationship that she refuses to leave.. I’m waiting for the day I receive a call from the police about her partner unaliving her and her older brother is gay/trans (he hasn’t had the surgery though and goes back and forth between genders). All of these issues stem from their parents toxic relationship. She has a little cousin whose parents separated when he was very young though and that boy is doing well as far as I know, he was accepted into the university to study psychology and started first year a few weeks ago.
@@ReleDeepQueenI think as a society we need to stop referring to divorced families as “broken homes”. I know people who got divorced and they are living amicably. Still in each others’ lives, their families are still cordial and friendly with each other. Sometimes people are better off divorced, doesn’t mean anything is broken, so I get you
If the child's future was in mind he should have divorced and separated. The fact that if the child would have spiraled into taking their own life (I just think) they won't have a future n he'd probably still be in the marriage mxm
He's just speaking grammar. Went to browse Forbes list before coming. I'm not for divorce, but it can be the only way out sometimes. And that's the main topic. Phonetics without sense.
Imagine. His data must be fake that was why he just said forbes and not the actual study that forbes cited. Never heard commitment as something higher than DV. Finance, infidelity and abuse are main issues leading to divorce and abuse can be physical, emotional, financial etc.
@@AkireMaruhow? rubbish statements like “if he hits you he likes you” plants the seeds for men thinking abuse is ok and women learning to put up with it
@@AkireMaruhow different? It’s the same. And the man mostly won’t hit you till he traps someone like the woman in orange who won’t leave him. Because he can and you will stay
That trashy quote was often said whenever a little boy bullies a girl,which is why many adult males become domestic abusers if they don't change their bullying behavior in childhood
Notice how Alvin is the youngest, least experienced, and never been a husband… yet he’s the loudest & most passionate…. Some men need to learn to listen😂
Simply because he isn't doesn't mean he has nothing to give. We don't know what he has experienced that has made him that passionate. He is respectfully disagreeing... Abeg.. you that is married and older haven't you done worse in a situation you are passionate about...
@@belindatumwine358 I’m not married or older than him, that’s why I came to listen to experienced people. Too bad he talks over everyone with a real perspective.
GOD BLESS THAT 28 YEAR OLD LAWYER FRR😭😭😭😭😭SAME WITH THE AUNTIE IN GREEN MY HEART GOES OUT TO HER AND THE BRAVE MAN IN GREEN it was soo hard listening to the anti-divorce folks, they sounded so out of touch to the reality of abuse and psychological harm. May the Lord open the eyes and mind of those other participants
Young women please avoid that young boy in the blue sleeveless jumper. His views are scary! Also the man in the blue shirt invalidating the lady in Greens lived experiences! A woman that has been married for 25 years is explaining to you the reason she couldn’t continue with her marriage and you who has only been married for 3 but in your own words “separated multiple times” is saying you need to correct her becasue she’s wrong! Absolute madness
You can obviously tell he is the problem in his own relationship and I hope his supposed wife sees this video and start filling for a divorce soon. LMAO
Where did they bring these anti-divorce set of people from? Ahhhhhh😮 they shock me ooo. I think they are just making/speaking their points based on acting just as we did when we were in primary school. Because what the f***!!!
When I tell people that I HATE the deep rooted christian patriarchal society in Nigeria, this is EXACTLY what I am talking about. It is MADDENING to see how many women are mistreated but are/feel forced to stay in those relationships because of status, wealth, entrapment, etc.
Yeah, it's quite heartbreaking. The problem is the misuse of faith when the same faith is actually against most of the things people use to back themselves or their actions. Ignorance is no joke.
Honestly…the religious abuse is so deeply rooted in them..my God i wish mental/sexual/abuse education was easily accessible for them. This shit is sick
my mom has a lot of problems in her parenting but oh my god am i glad some of these people are not my parents. specially the 3 against divorcing in the case of your partner abusing your child especially sexually. if i had a situation like that and my parent reacted like that i would absolutely despise them for the rest of my life, it means not only did the parent who abused me fail me but the other parent who was supposed to help me also failed me, both parents failed me. you would never hear from me again as a child, god forbid i’m your only child cause you will be on your own in old age, go have your partner come save you.
A mother that got pregnant with her child, 9 months or more. Your child comes to you and tells you that her father, your husband has been assaulting her and the first thing you’ll ask her is ‘is it true?’ That woman wearing orange… wherever her children are, I hope they are healing.
As in I can't even imagine what her children must have gone through living through trauma just because Auntie wants to keep her "Mrs" title... Pathetic.
Alvin is forming dissident to be on camera. He never answered any of the questions posed. Never addressed divorce in abusive marriages. He was ONLY focused on marriages due to a lack of commitment, and that was NEVER the topic.
Alvin 🤮 Mama in orange is just ancient and she REFUSES to change her way of thinking That guy with the hat lied that he has experienced abuse, he was definitely the abuser, probably still is! Mxm
I got married at 26. I was a victim of domestic abuse and divorced at 30. As a Nigerian woman this was really hard to watch because I remember the anti divorce brigade advising me. I almost lost an eye and my ex beat me 8 weeks post c-section. I got full custody of my children and my ex cannot be alone with the children. My kids are one of the happiest around and they have never lacked anything. I really would like to connect with the older woman in green as this is a topic I am very passionate about.
The fact that people can hear stories of abuse and still say they should not divorce but stay is insanity to me. I hope Nigerians can be freed of this mentality one day.
Auntie Jane is scary. Please young women don’t die in marriage. Empower yourselves. Work hard . Don’t stay with a monster because of financial support. If you’re with a mentally unstable person, it won’t get better. Bro America doesn’t have an idea of toxic relationships.
@@honestfriend767 please if the reason has to do with Christianity I beg you do not twist the bible because it is not a sin to divorce if your spouse is abusive, or has engaged in sexual immorality. God is not evil, He does not want His people to suffer, so why are our people enforcing this suffering in God’s name? That is sinful! The twisted teaching that in any case divorce is a sin is wrong. Read your bible please. 🙏🏾
Bro is 19 at best. The lack of exposure is screaming. Didn’t make up to 2 sentences that made sense. I wish they allowed the guy on green t-shirt to speak more.
When I was six years old, I begged my mother to leave my father. There was more trauma staying with him. My mother never left him, and now I'm scarred from all the fighting and violence that went on in my home. Both of my parents ended up abusive. I never want to get married, and I don't even have the desire. That's how bad it was. If you have to separate from a person for many years, what is the difference between that and divorce?
that woman is sharing her traumatic experiences and being vulnerable and this two people , Alvin and Lady in orange were heavily invalidating her experiences. my heart broke every time her voice broke. I would have defended her if I was there.
@@AfrogirrlI think that’s how she also felt when people kept coming to tell her to remain in the marriage. She felt trappped in that marriage again. I’m so angry for her
Many are mad...few are roaming. We need more more conversations like this to expose how deficient people can be in their thinking. Mummy Green, Guy in Green and the Lawyer...God bless and keep you all.
Alvin isn't making any sense , "prioritising" your child's future by keeping them in the same traumatising environment where they should have felt the safest at the expense of their mental health and wellness? Please crack another joke. This isn't so funny. 🙄
@@enne2106 thank God for that lawyer oh. The way they (orange lady, Alvin and hat guy) were saying help the man as if r@pe isn't an actual crime 🙆🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️. Thank God he was there, he was even anti- divorce and yet.
To the lady in the green that marriage didn’t fail because she got married at a young age, not at all. The marriage failed because the Husband FAILED to keep his promise and his vow. Marriage is a covenant and it’s between, 2 people and God. The husband absolutely did not fear God to have something so sacred and beat on another Child of God. God is a God of love and grace and to be honest I feel that He understands this sister and He is not condemning her. If she is alive today, it is because God has a plan for her. Had she stayed in that marriage it could have also altered her relationship with God because a lot of people feel like God has forsaken them when going through something like that. She chose solitude and got away and for her children too. She’s selfless and a warrior. A survivor and God loves her. All she can do now is pray for the exhusband and build that relationship with God trusting Him in all things
I really hope the lady in green reads this! Please Please Please know YOU DID THE RIGHT THING- Your ex-husband Failed, NOT YOU!!! If you are religious, you know God cares for ALL of His children and what does He say about those that harm them? He says it would be better that a milestone would be wrapped around their neck and they be thrown into the sea! It is never okay to beat on your spouse- NEVER! God is also very clear about the grounds for divorce in the Bible and you were well within that right! 25 years was a lot, too much- you are a Gracious WARRIOR! I am SO SO SORRY about the people on this panel that were totally disrespectful towards you, shutting your voice down and talking over you!!! They should have been listening at your feet to the wisdom of this Matriarch. I am SO Sorry, seriously I couldn’t watch any more after that disrespect!!!! I am SOOO Sorry for your sorrow, I truly believe like the above commenter stated that if you will serve God He will crown you with Glory and protect and preserve and heal your children. We come from different cultures, and I know divorce is more stigmatized where you are from, but please hold your head high- You Deserve to!!!
- Somebody should help us and deck that Alvin dude. It is like that accent is clouding his judgement. Shuooooooo. - Uncle with the hat lacks empathy; he is giving, "I have been abused, and I survived, you too, you should survive". - Aunty in orange and black, God will preserve your children, especially your daughter. Please say Amen. - Mummy in green, you are badass and brave. We are so proud of you! We love you! God bless you! God preserve you! God bless the works of your hands, ma!❤❤ - Oga Fisayooooo🙌🙌🙌🙌 It is God that will bless you ehn!🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌 - Our able young man who is asking the hard questions, THANK YOU!!!!! Because that question you asked early on helped us to see the kind of people we are talking to here.
The guy in the hut gives me an abuser vibe, the way he was talking about being separated from his wife. And when Alvin was talking about abuse he was like “it’s not everyday” like abuse is not okay anyday. It should never happen.
much love to the woman in green❤️i cannot believe they blamed her for getting married at a young age and implying that’s why she got abused. WTF??? also the other woman said “he hits me but he loves me” GIRL BYEE😭
30:55 these goats are gaslighting this woman even after she almost died. Marriage at a young age isn't the cause of abuse. An abuser does his/her thing no matter who the victim is.
Yeah, that was sad to watch. Talking about she shouldn't have married at 19. That is the problem. You were too young to know not to talk back. Bunch of cave like minds. What! How the people that put this conversation together didn't think to have someone there to make sure they are listening, empathizing, making sense, etc is what I'm trying to understand. What is even the goal here?
That’s Africa for you. They will sometime use sorcelery to excuse it sometime accuse the abused the child. Some women may even know what they husband is doing to their child and start hating the child. Because they husband finds the child attractive not them.instead of protecting the child and denouncing the predator.
This! I feel he has probably been a victim of a divorced parent and that affected him and has clouded his view. I hope he heals cossss this take is concerning
Let's first define marriage.......when did being beaten,marital rape,pedophile acts, lack of reasoning and verbal abuse,psychological torture also define marriage??? This happens when a society raises a generation that believes marriage is the only goal for a woman. The only catch to completely define one as a complete adult😢. Am definitely pro good marriage but not the nonsense going on these days. Most people see red flags but staying hoping the partner will change. SAD.
These things happened too much in these mariages and relationships. Women just need to decenter men. Men are not my God is not the most important thing in the world.
Who’s this guy on green that is pro divorce - Your parents should be proud of you! Oga Lawyer- your wife should be proud of you. Mummy green - you’re brave and strong and thank you for standing your ground!!! God bless you all
This was an extremely difficult watch, I almost didn’t finish the video. Trivialising sexual abuse, gaslighting a lady who has been in a coma three times due to physical abuse 😮unfortunately this mindset is far too common in Nigeria….
The dark woman in glasses was obviously talking from a place of great pain and bad experiences but at the same time she wasn't talking as a victim to invoke pity from the rest, she was speaking as a survivor as a victor, her kids should be so proud of the mother they have, that's a strong woman right there.
I love that she was also trying to advice. She explained show she tried it and though it would be fixed. Her saying she would have left after year 1 was so depressing since she stayed for 25 years. But it helps others understand that once you know it’s unsafe you need to get away.
Mama in green, you’re a star. I love you, your children are lucky to have you. You prioritised your children’s mental health and overall well-being. Mr Fisayo, your reasoning is amazing, you know what you’re talking about. Olatubosun, you’re a man and I commend your honesty and bravery in speaking the truth. Alvin must just be a real life chipmunk, because he’s spewing venom.
And also, even if we say it’s her mistake (for the sake of the argument) so what now? “You shouldn’t marry a wrong person” yeah, everyone would agree with that, but you can’t go back in time, you can only correct the decision NOW.
Good for you. I think when people realize that till death do us part doesn’t apply to people who abuse them and abuse their children the world would have way more divorces as it should.
Sorry for what you’ve been through,i wish you happiness!! I also got married to a man when i was 21 years and him 33 years,left naija and moved to new country with nobody i know,i was abused(emotionally) for 6 years,i went through hell,i was like a living dead,till i got divorced 2 years ago,best decision i ever made in my life,am so happy now,never know life could be this good Alhamdulillah
I’m from a home where my parents fought physically since I was old enough to know what fighting is and I can tell you that I prayed everyday for them to divorce when I was older!! It only got worse as I grew older and experiencing such trauma only complicated their children’s lives so yeah I SUPPORT DIVORCE!!! Btw, Alvin and the lady in orange are not who they think they are. Is receiving beating from a man a competition ma??? KUDOS TO THE LAWYER , DUDE IN GREEN AND THE WOMAN IN GREEN! Y’all spoke nothing but facts♥️
She - " ooh yes he hits me yet he loves me" . Sent me in another dimension. Don't let her fool you if he hits you or abuse you leave IMMEDIATELY ASAP REMEMBER LOVE IS GENTLE AND KIND NOT ABUSIVE IF IT IS ABUSIVE THAN IT AIN'T LOVE BABY GIRL.
No love is greater than respect. If someone truly loves you they respect and hold you in high esteem. No man that loves a woman would want to see her drop a tear let alone beat her. I don’t know what this people think love is. Her mindset is sick and disgusting.
@@ay1ismi will proudly judge and castigate anyone who will standby and watch someone rape an innocent child in the name of “anti-divorce”. You people are mad.
@@caramelgumdrop393 Where does she say she would wait and watch innocent children being raped in the name of anti divorce? You see the reason why it is important to argue with the head instead of emotions. She even clearly said she would separate from the person and have him dealt with by the law. But then, one shouldn't expect any better from a dvmb insecure person with fragile emotions like you who cannot make any constructive argument but to throw insults.
8:20 the most traumatic thing you can do to your child who was sexually abused by her father is have them both in the same household and force her to relive the trauma by seeing his face each day. He did it once he will most certainly do it again. He already crossed that boundary.
The fact that when that lady was asked if she would remain in the instance that her child is sexually assaulted by their partner and her first response was “is it true?” Told me everything I need to know. Those kind of people are on the same boat as the child abusers because they are willing to hide it
I'm afraid I have to disagree with Mrs. Jane, I got married at 31 and ended up divorced. So for Mrs. Elizabeth getting married at the of 19 is not the cause of her divorce or failed marriage.
Bro she married at 30, she feels her husband did her a privilege to marry her. She was probably mocked for being 30 and unmarried before she married. My concern is her sons who have seen their father abuse their mother, and their mother has normalised it. They will grow up to believe it is normal to beat a woman and she should sit down and tolerate it.
She seems to be in a healthy marriage, hence her inability to understand the reason/need for divorce in some marriages. Ignorance comes from lack of experience/knowledge. If faced with such situations in her marriage, she will definitely be in great shock.
@@ms.Waldorf She said she has a daughter and a son, I pity her daughter the most. She said she wouldn't divorce her husband if he assaulted her daughter.
I grew up seeing my mum and my step sister being beat up. F that shit. If you have commom sense, leave. There are people that stay and die. It traumatises the kids, it traumatises the woman. Leave a physically abusive marriage. Dont negotiate. Leave.
The American boy accent is just inexperienced, and i understand he's speaking from a place of ignorance To the 29 year old guy who is in a 3 years narriage with numerous separations, I'm not surprised; I'm sure that woman would have left earlier if she had the chance to with this kind of mentality in that head of his The woman who married at 30 does not love herself, and is speaking from a place of religious beliefs that has been imbibed in her since childhood, and obviously does not have the best interest of her kids (in that hypothetical situation used) I sympathise with the woman who managed a marriage of 25 years; I wish you strength to keep glowing Mr Lawyer, you're such a breath of fresh air To the other pro-divorce defender, you're doing well, andthe society surely needs more of you Shalom
If my spouse sexually abused my child I wouldn’t divorce either. I would be a widow. He wouldn’t survive.
Thank you ! A real mother
This!
😂
😂😂😂💯
Louderrrrr!!
An abusive marriage is already a failed marriage.
Exactly
Thank you!!!
thank you
Preach 👏
perfect@@mirandangwenya7487
The fact that they are talking near a woman who has been in a coma from abuse is COLD. They should all be ashamed of themselves. Especially the men…who’s abusing you for real! Shat ap
Disgusting people for real. You are your actions and the thoughts you agree with; if they think like that, they’re disgusting
hai bruh go sleep
wdym especially the men? its even more embarrasing that a woman is ignoring all the counter points and just repeating that she cant leave her husband
This is a reason domestic issues never get resolved. It is this naivety that men don't get abused. Until society begins to probe the triggers, na so we go dey talk am even in 1 million years. I wonder why those inexperienced children are on stage discussing a very serious issue like this. It's gonna get worse now that single parenting is the norm with fathers completely shut out of their children's lives. Society deserves what it gets, ultimately.
@@lawosluka7234 She was the worst I'm scared.
0:31 I'm done already. " This man hits me, but he loves me." What kind of slave master logic is that?
Lord I rebuke this in Jesus Name!
Gurl is into some bdsm shit
The fact that a woman is older, doesn't mean she's wiser.. this video is a clear example..
shes talking like she came to life for a man
Absolutely
So true. She is such a disgrace.
Totally agree
I would be embarrassed if that was my mother.
I am so embarrassed at the woman in orange saying the lady in green was abused because she married young. May God save her from this backward mentality
The lady in the green deserved so much empathy. I am so angry and sad for her
@@makungumand they kept speaking over her when she tried to speak up. Honestly very disgusting the way they were trying to tell her and blame her for all of it.
She has a very boxed kind of mentality and it's a scary thing tbh
I'm so worried for Orange Woman's children. I hope they see through her bullshit.
If a 19 year old young person is old enough to fornicate, or consent to sex. why are they not old enough to get married?
The guy with the American-like accent trying to sound sensible but nonsense comes out of his mouth
After consuming American content my whole life, I know that Americans have said the most stupid things you'd ever be unfortunate to hear in life. Case study: Theo von, Joe Biden.
I was looking for this comment…
I really disagreed with his opinions.
Especially when he began to comment on the case of when a child is sexually abused….
It’s easy to sit down in front of the camera and talk about “staying because you’re choosing the child’s future”
The reality of abuse is more serious and nuanced than few sentences in a focus group discussion.
@@tamiausten873💯💯💯
I wonder ooo😢
Very dumb young man!
I'm a Filipino and please pray for us to have Divorce legalized in our country! 🇵🇭
The fight towards those anti-divorce is exhausting.
Edit: Divorce is for those who badly need it. We shouldn't prohibit someone from getting what they need just because we don't need it and don't experience or suffer the same abuse that they do.
The anti divorce thing is so scary 😢
@@whateverb959 lol
So you can end up like the usa
@@b_fermin so those trapped in abusive relationships can finally be free. We need you to practice humanity and empathize with those suffering from abuse.
False, divorce should be for anyone who WANTS it
People in the anti-divorce section scared me specifically the woman in orange.
Why did they scare you?
Right, she is so scary
Bc they have a very backwards mindset that is harmfull @@peterchibuike7093
My dear, I couldn't watch it. I don't believe in divorce either but I also don't believe in abuse of any kind. Whatever way a victim can be separated from an abuser, it has to be done. If she's separated from him and he stalks her, then more actions must be taken like jail and divorce
@@peterchibuike7093because they rather their husband kill them than leave
The lady in green is such an inspiration. We stan a woman with self-respect❤
Yes
I respect her courage 🎉
God bless her fr❤
Absolutely!!
That should be the standard to be honest. It shouldn't be this shocking to think like a decent human being.
To the woman in green, you have my heart, even after telling your story you were ridiculed and judged….i hope you get all the happiness and joy you deserve you made a beautiful decision and no one should put you down for it ❤
Yes
And she is the honest sincere pure hearted person among devilish judgmental people
Hard agree❤
And she is smart and broader than the other lady.
❤
The man wearing the hat in the anti-divorce group is honestly very sick for saying people who get divorced should be stigmatized. Most people who get divorced honestly try to work things out before calling it off. You can never know what some people have been through in abusive marriages unless u live it yourself!!
Like I’m really surprised at his way of thinking
I totally agree
And that bullshit he said that we should help a man who assaults his child. Truly disgusting!
@@glubasuar7554that was honestly one of the worst things he said not that he talked much he was mostly agreeing, but I don't get how you can have that mindset and just walk in the public like you're normal
He is obviously sick!
My heart goes out to the older lady that had to sit there and listen to a bunch of idiots belittle the abuse she suffered while also telling her she was wrong for finally leaving. That little boy is truly scary. Saying things like “divorce won’t help your situation, because if a man wants to kill you he’ll do it still. So you might aswell stay” is BATSHIT CLINICAL CRAZY.
I can’t believe he sat there and made those statements boldly.
That boy was really undermining what she went saying “how do you know divorce would have helped “🤦. I feel like slapping him . Talking about data from Forbes. Wetin Forbes sabi for Nigeria
You are comparing the mindset of people from a society you will never know and visit. Sit back and enjoy the show. Not everyone has Western values.
@@AkireMaruwhos this? Who asked for your opinion? Arent thay all from the same country
I think divorce helps but I understand what he means by if your husband wants to kill you, he still can, even after the fact. A divorce cannot stop a psycho. And it is because there has been many instances like this. As long as he has access to you and your children. It depends on how bad the people in question are. Just be careful out there people!❤
“He beats me, yet he loves me.” Oh auntie💀
Likeeeee....very disgusting
Scaryyyy
Likeee ahnn I'm bleeding 💔
Heard of STOCKHOLM SYNDROME? That is what Auntie suffers from. Very sad.
Dumbest thing I’ve heard in 2024
Dear young African girls! Just because a woman is older doesn’t mean they have the wisdom to advise you. Let this video be the example. No wonder she keeps saying Dievorce she really wants to die for her husband 😂🤣
Preach
Amen 😂
If anyone doesn't know this by now, then they are part of the problem Nigeria has.
Fr sis
😂😂😂😂😂😂that word DIE-VORCE got me irritated EVERY TIME SHE SPOKE IT😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
That lady in orange will probably get a divorce, but she just doesn't like the term "divorce". She just wants to hear "separation".
That woman in orange won’t report that man, she’ll in fact, blame the child he sexually assaulted.
No, she will definitely report him, because she will not be able to stand the trauma at all. Her child is the person been violated, so definitely and truthfully, she will report him.
@@chikarobinson5032I feel like she just said that to save face. Asking if it is true when your child just came to you with something like that is crazy!
@@chikarobinson5032she would not oh, if you hear the way she's talking
Gbam!
She is the type to accuse that child of seducing her husband... Disgusting!
Cruise TV, please tell the woman in green that we love her. She made the right decision and she should NEVER regret it. Her life is more precious than people’s opinions. Sending love, joy and God’s blessings her way!
shes going to be a role model for those in that situation that are scared to leave or have no family that agrees with separation
We love and admire her!
I agreeee!
We are proud of her!
She spoke wisely. When did the Holy Bible say, you must lose your sanity, safety, peace, and life for the sake of marriage.
Alvin is so ignorant about life it's shocking. His accent makes things worse because people in Nigeria like to think people who have such accents are more exposed and likely more intelligent. I don't think this debate inspired me in any way, I left utterly disgusted by the thinking of the anti-divorce crew. May God help them.
It was an eye opener. I think this video needed to exist I wasn’t aware ppl were so open about these beliefs. I thought it was behind closed doors.
He's unsufferable. Like he speaks only to irritate people
The part were he says " the abuse has already happened " when they spoke about the sexual abuse of the child.
Disgusting empty headed man .
they embarrassed the entre argument
May God help the American guy. He really has a way to go and has life experiences to go through. The lady in orange who believes in marriage till death no matter what must be lucky in hers (or enduring some horrors and is under immense denial). The uncle with a hat, I don’t even know where to start with him. He wants people to judge divorcees no matter what which is just scary! Let’s be human
Alvin is the one that's raising a traumatized generation 😭😂
I really love this lawyer and the lady in green❤
The lawyer is SUCH A BREATH OF FRESH AIR!
And he’s hot too😂
@reserveeuphoric2283 but he married...😂😂😂😂don't cause him to die-vorce
@@yahphirah182lol
The lawyerrrrr>>>>>
@@yahphirah182 ah😂😂😂
Mama in the orange…
She is the type who would not believe her child would as abused all for the sake of remaining married. That is very scary. Just to claim being a married woman.. she would accept any and every form of bad treatment and abuse
Totally!
Then why are you giving her the honor of Mama? It’s these cultural norms that give people like her the audacity to think they deserve respect.
That’s what I was thinking. If she has kids I really pray that she doesn’t pass that mentality to them. It’s sad
@@kasmirsdaughter6211 Is she not a mother?
I’m not going to disrespect her because I don’t agree with her ideology.
Mama.. aunty.. woman.. lady..whatever. You knew who I was referring to.. so that’s suffice.
@@nathaliedias243 oh I’m sure she will. I pray her children don’t accept it.
The fact that lady in orange said "If you are saying you have passed through beating, maybe you have not passed through the one I’ve passed through" to the lady in green when she said she was abused by her husband. But later blamed her for marrying at 19 when she herself married at 30 and got the same treatment. May God protect any girl with a mother like this.
Aswear…. I was looking for this comment. She nor just get sense
She is not mentally stable
As innnnnn ha ! Can you imagine ?!
The woman's take was just scarryyy
😮😮😮😮
These anti divorce people are scaring me !! I mean what’s wrong with them ??? Staying with a man( or a woman) that sexually abused your child?! Are you mad ???
I can’t even lie😭 that anti divorce side has such a scary mindset ..
Rubbish set of people🤦🏿
The should be jailed already
I'm telling you sis😔, those guys are big f**ls
@@Low_BP4:50
@@Low_BP Or crucified like their savior Jesus Christ.
Not surprised. It’s normalized in most African countries
Beautiful mother in green they’re saying her marrying at 19 is the reason she got abused , but the one who married at 30 sat up there and said he beats her but loves her. This is too much
Really, a man can hit you once, twice, then you think deep and ask, do you think you can still stay, if no, just leave for a period, have a retreat, live your life, meet different people who will tell you good or evil things, weigh them, then tell yourself whether you want to continue with the marriage or not. Have a dialogue with your partner, and find out from your partner if he or she is ready to make amends.
Her brain cells is not working again I feel like hugging the woman in green
I believe this is just for entertainment because 😭😭😭 howwwww are these people humans?
Honestly...she's very wrong for using that against her, abuse is abuse whether your 19 or 30.
i love her. may Allah reward her with better
The woman in orange said she married at 30 which speaks volume why she wouldn't divorce her husband no matter what, because she was desperate and not ready to loose what she taught God answered her prayer for
I disliked the way the were coming at the other woman basing the failure of her marriage on being married at 19😢.
@@BrookEmisikothe woman in orange was so wrong for that . Regardless of your age a marriage can fail. Marrying young or old doesn’t affect your chances of getting abused. What that woman in green went through has nothing to do with the age she married. The anti-divorce section are wrong for undermining what she went through especially that boy with his annoying accent
Don't mind her. Saying teenagers should not get married. Did the other lady say her husband was a teenager too.
I'm thinking he was even way older. So her point is useless.
How is marrying at 30 years old a sign of desperation?💀
@StephanieNiecey honestly, it is, in Africa at least. By 30, you can be sure she is being pressured to find a husband
*"Oh yeah, he hits me but yet he loves me"* , that auntie never heard of STOCKHOLM SYNDROME. Her life is basically an average Wattpad story written for fun by a 13-year-old immature teen. This is what she was taught, and this is what she believes. Can't imagine how horrible it is that she will teach the same to her children. *"Will you still stay with your husband if he sexually assaulted your child?" Her: "Yes"* What the actual f***? I hope her child doesn't see this video.
*"You ignored the signs before, continue ignoring them"*, *"I've been 3 years in marriage now. Within that time, me and my wife have separated countless times."* 35:39 Yes sir, it sure is VERY visible considering your opinions. I feel bad for his wife. He *'thinks'* that it would be better FOR HIS SON if his son lives with him (that's just his assumptions). Did he consider that he and his actions might be the reason of his son's dilemma?
And I have nothing to say about that immature boy questioning that woman about her trauma and abuse. Literally everything he said was a bunch of BS.
Why are they normalizing any form of abuse in the first place?! This is absolutely horrifying to know these kinds of people exist and this is what they'll do, and this is what they'll teach other people, especially younger generations. Unbelievable!
Staying in a marriage after your child is sexually abused is the most disgusting and stupid thing to say🚮
I thought the same way. I really thought everyone would have the same thinking to at least separate. But no they wanted to stay, and STILL let the child be around the abuser.
Divorcing is not even a question. The question is what would happen after. He or she should rot in jail
Ikr! It is non negotiable! Can you imagine that someone is even contemplating whether or not one would even leave?!! I don't understand people.
Then they will go, "Why isn't my child talking to me anymore? Why don't they let me see my grand baby?"
These are the type of people to blame the child for it too 😢
These anti divorce people made me SICK!!! Putting your child's "financial future" (or so they say) over their SAFTEY! Worrying about getting help for the partner that abused your child??? I am disgusted! Another reason why I am SOOOO grateful to have the mother I have in my life because how could ya'll not protect your children??!
I’m pretty sure they don’t even care about the “financial future” of the child, it was a lie to make them not look bad. Even if the child is 100% guaranteed to have a financial future, they will find another excuse, and another, and another. These people will never leave criminal spouses no matter what. Disgusting
The fact that they had to lie, is enough proof that they’re wrong, but dumb people never accept they’re wrong
I mean the child might not even live to enjoy that financial security due to the emotional torture
What future will the child have after suffering sm abuse money or no money I would never let my child stay with an abuser
@@idrk1507 yea ik that’s why I put financial future into quotations because that was just an excuse used
@@BrookEmisiko Ik! that’s why my comment points out how disgusting it is
I am so happy they included a Lawyer in this panel. Simply because he is calling out Alvin's bullshit 😂
Fr!! And Alvin really tried to argue with him😭
Thissss!!!! Lmao Alvin aggravates me fr
Why would the lady in orange do everything but get a divorce? 😭 She'll leave, she'll take her kids, she'll send her husband to jail, she'll never speak to that man again but divorce is out of the question???
Honestly!!! I don't usually comment but I genuinely don't understand what she has against that word 😮 she'll do everything but divorce including separation and jail so why's she so against divorce?? It's baffling.
It’s sick
Then blaming her for getting married at 19 instead of blaming the man for abuse baffled me😢
They always blame the victim
Like i was shocked
Nigerian culture for you
Exactly. Like your takeaway from her telling you all that her husband continuously abused her, put her in a coma multiple times, almost killing over the span of 25 years, was that that she got married at 19? Borderline insinuating that it was her bad judgement of getting married young that put her in that situation? Also Alvin needs to stfu because why was he even there
Absolutely disgusting behaviour!!!
The woman wearing green should be a marriage counsellor, she is intelligent and outspoken.
💯💯
Exactly
Very
as a child that was sexually abused by a "parent", I have a large resentment for the parent who knew and stayed. i would've rather been homeless and had that person out of our lives then grow up feeling like my abuse wasn't "important" enough to do anything about
edit: thank you for the love and concern. Yes i was abused as a child by "parent" and although this statement is angry, I do want it known that there is another side to that anger. I am in a position where I am not overcome by that anger and sadness of being betrayed by not only a parent who abused me but also a parent who found out and chose to stay and act like it never happened. That choice was made after enduring 5 years of abuse at the age of 9 and I continued to be abused until I was 16, and once more at 19 before I chose to put myself first and leave. As a child who endured this life, I cannot understand why a parent who said they loved me and wanted me to live a good life would do that. Please listen to your kids and remember that they are your responsibility. No one who has endured this abuse is responsible for it, the abuser is. They took advantage of a child and your willingness to overlook their crime. Please hold them responsible because the second you decide to give them another chance, you are now responsible for the abuse your child has endured and you have altered that child's life forever.
to all those who have met a similar fate of abuse; I am so sorry you ever had to and my heart aches for you because I know and understand a lot of that pain and betrayal. i wish nothing but healing and love your way because that should've never happened.
I'm so sorry if that was your experience 💔😞
I’m sorry. God bless you.
That parent that stayed is weak and neither of them deserved you. I’m glad you are still here. ❤
So sorry you went through all that…
"When my father and mother abondon me, the lord will take me up."
Psalm 27:10
I too have been sexually abused by a relative (uncle) but my mom made me apologize. She and my dad abandoned me in my greatest time of need.
But know that God saw everything.
“Teenagers are not supposed to get married, you’re supposed to get experience on marriage”, madam please shut up. You married later but they still beat you.
right!!!
But also it’s the description of some ideal life. “You shouldn’t get married young” “you should marry the right person” sure, everyone can agree with that. But what if you do?? You can’t correct the mistake you made, you should just live with an abuser?? Also they treat it as “take responsibility of your actions” well so maybe an abusive partner can take responsibility of their abuse in a form of divorce.
Well said 😂😂😂
Kids growing up in a toxic environment is way more traumatic than growing up in a broken home!
Most toxic environment are broken homes though😂😂
@@tyronelorenzovalentio3414I don’t why people act like homes with married parents are also not broken and toxic.
“By there fruits you shall know them” and in many African counties the homes are toxic and rotten, so the people are dysfunctional and toxic.
@@tyronelorenzovalentio3414not true. My friend has parents that are still together and she and her younger sister are currently in therapy because of their parents toxic relationship. Her sister was literally cutting herself at 14 years old, she is in an abusive relationship that she refuses to leave.. I’m waiting for the day I receive a call from the police about her partner unaliving her and her older brother is gay/trans (he hasn’t had the surgery though and goes back and forth between genders). All of these issues stem from their parents toxic relationship. She has a little cousin whose parents separated when he was very young though and that boy is doing well as far as I know, he was accepted into the university to study psychology and started first year a few weeks ago.
What do you mean by a "broken home"? What do you think makes a broken home?
@@ReleDeepQueenI think as a society we need to stop referring to divorced families as “broken homes”. I know people who got divorced and they are living amicably. Still in each others’ lives, their families are still cordial and friendly with each other. Sometimes people are better off divorced, doesn’t mean anything is broken, so I get you
This channel really opened my eyes on how some people have dangerous mindsets, we are so doomed🙆🏽♂️
Facts 😭
Like!!! Am wowed 😢😮
Am telling you very dangerous mindset . God help us oh!!!🎉❤
Right
Most people have very problematic belief systems.
The Alvin guy saying he is gonna prioritize the child’s future meanwhile he isn’t even prioritizing the child’s present state and well being 😭
If the child's future was in mind he should have divorced and separated. The fact that if the child would have spiraled into taking their own life (I just think) they won't have a future n he'd probably still be in the marriage mxm
Omg this !
Sometimes, it's best not to have children at all, especially people like him
Thissssss… trauma from sexual abuse literally leads people to suicide
He's just speaking grammar. Went to browse Forbes list before coming. I'm not for divorce, but it can be the only way out sometimes. And that's the main topic.
Phonetics without sense.
The boy with the accent just dey vex me😂
I just tire😂😂using accent talk nonsense, to think he is gen Z. Tolerating this backward mindset
@@justanotherhuman5162. Gen Z’s don’t condone that mind kraaaaa
I’ve been looking for a comment like this😭 can he please shut up
Imagine. His data must be fake that was why he just said forbes and not the actual study that forbes cited. Never heard commitment as something higher than DV. Finance, infidelity and abuse are main issues leading to divorce and abuse can be physical, emotional, financial etc.
So we tell little girls "if he hits you he likes you" but then ask later on in her life "If he hits you why did you marry him?"
This
Obviously two different things.
@@AkireMaruhow? rubbish statements like “if he hits you he likes you” plants the seeds for men thinking abuse is ok and women learning to put up with it
@@AkireMaruhow different? It’s the same. And the man mostly won’t hit you till he traps someone like the woman in orange who won’t leave him. Because he can and you will stay
That trashy quote was often said whenever a little boy bullies a girl,which is why many adult males become domestic abusers if they don't change their bullying behavior in childhood
"I don't think divorce is a problem. I think divorce is reather a solution to a problem"
No need a discussion, this dude simplified everything.
Notice how Alvin is the youngest, least experienced, and never been a husband… yet he’s the loudest & most passionate…. Some men need to learn to listen😂
Simply because he isn't doesn't mean he has nothing to give. We don't know what he has experienced that has made him that passionate.
He is respectfully disagreeing... Abeg.. you that is married and older haven't you done worse in a situation you are passionate about...
It's opinion sha but he also said alot of nonsense@@belindatumwine358
@@belindatumwine358 I’m not married or older than him, that’s why I came to listen to experienced people. Too bad he talks over everyone with a real perspective.
Just loud and foaming at the mouth 😂😂😂😂
He needs a lot more experience. Half of the things he said made little to no sense
GOD BLESS THAT 28 YEAR OLD LAWYER FRR😭😭😭😭😭SAME WITH THE AUNTIE IN GREEN MY HEART GOES OUT TO HER AND THE BRAVE MAN IN GREEN
it was soo hard listening to the anti-divorce folks, they sounded so out of touch to the reality of abuse and psychological harm. May the Lord open the eyes and mind of those other participants
Young women please avoid that young boy in the blue sleeveless jumper. His views are scary! Also the man in the blue shirt invalidating the lady in Greens lived experiences! A woman that has been married for 25 years is explaining to you the reason she couldn’t continue with her marriage and you who has only been married for 3 but in your own words “separated multiple times” is saying you need to correct her becasue she’s wrong! Absolute madness
I can't 😂😂😂
I heard 3 years marriage and already separated and I wondered, those 25 years marriage he's correcting he might only hear it.
You can obviously tell he is the problem in his own relationship and I hope his supposed wife sees this video and start filling for a divorce soon. LMAO
Where did they bring these anti-divorce set of people from? Ahhhhhh😮 they shock me ooo.
I think they are just making/speaking their points based on acting just as we did when we were in primary school. Because what the f***!!!
@barbaraodiah6535 The worst on the panel is that "American wanna be"
When I tell people that I HATE the deep rooted christian patriarchal society in Nigeria, this is EXACTLY what I am talking about. It is MADDENING to see how many women are mistreated but are/feel forced to stay in those relationships because of status, wealth, entrapment, etc.
It’s truly depressing.
Yeah, it's quite heartbreaking. The problem is the misuse of faith when the same faith is actually against most of the things people use to back themselves or their actions. Ignorance is no joke.
Honestly…the religious abuse is so deeply rooted in them..my God i wish mental/sexual/abuse education was easily accessible for them. This shit is sick
Do you think that the Nigerian Muslim societies are better?
@@Nicolelove90 i honestly don't know since my fam is Christian, but probably not.
To witness with my own eyes that some human beings still have such backwards views on divorce is an embarrassment.
It’s alarming
😂😂haaa! I just can't can! It is well.
Unfortunately parts of Nigerian culture is very backwards
Exactly, My prayer is they marry a narcissistic abuser
It’s a good thing we can have this conversation
my mom has a lot of problems in her parenting but oh my god am i glad some of these people are not my parents. specially the 3 against divorcing in the case of your partner abusing your child especially sexually. if i had a situation like that and my parent reacted like that i would absolutely despise them for the rest of my life, it means not only did the parent who abused me fail me but the other parent who was supposed to help me also failed me, both parents failed me. you would never hear from me again as a child, god forbid i’m your only child cause you will be on your own in old age, go have your partner come save you.
A mother that got pregnant with her child, 9 months or more. Your child comes to you and tells you that her father, your husband has been assaulting her and the first thing you’ll ask her is ‘is it true?’
That woman wearing orange… wherever her children are, I hope they are healing.
Best comment lol
As in I can't even imagine what her children must have gone through living through trauma just because Auntie wants to keep her "Mrs" title... Pathetic.
Like fr
What is wrong with you?
Why would she lie about that?
Alvin is so loud and wrong it’s insane.
😆facts
Empty barrels make the most noise
The problem with educated fools
Alvin is forming dissident to be on camera. He never answered any of the questions posed. Never addressed divorce in abusive marriages. He was ONLY focused on marriages due to a lack of commitment, and that was NEVER the topic.
Alvin 🤮
Mama in orange is just ancient and she REFUSES to change her way of thinking
That guy with the hat lied that he has experienced abuse, he was definitely the abuser, probably still is! Mxm
Those men in anti divorce should be closely monitored. The amount of times I was shocked at the nonsense coming out of their mouth
I pity the ladies that will get married to them 😢
I got married at 26. I was a victim of domestic abuse and divorced at 30. As a Nigerian woman this was really hard to watch because I remember the anti divorce brigade advising me. I almost lost an eye and my ex beat me 8 weeks post c-section. I got full custody of my children and my ex cannot be alone with the children. My kids are one of the happiest around and they have never lacked anything. I really would like to connect with the older woman in green as this is a topic I am very passionate about.
If a man hits you, you feel pain. If a man loves you, he will never want to see you hurt.
Exactly 👏
SIMPLE
“Remember the good times”. Crazy arse people.
@@Idkchangethislater what!?🤣🤣🤣
@@Idkchangethislaterlike?? That was wild
The fact that people can hear stories of abuse and still say they should not divorce but stay is insanity to me. I hope Nigerians can be freed of this mentality one day.
They didn’t say stay. They said get separated but not divorced.
Auntie Jane is scary. Please young women don’t die in marriage. Empower yourselves. Work hard . Don’t stay with a monster because of financial support. If you’re with a mentally unstable person, it won’t get better. Bro America doesn’t have an idea of toxic relationships.
@@honestfriend767 why not get divorced?? I don’t understand
@@honestfriend767 please if the reason has to do with Christianity I beg you do not twist the bible because it is not a sin to divorce if your spouse is abusive, or has engaged in sexual immorality. God is not evil, He does not want His people to suffer, so why are our people enforcing this suffering in God’s name? That is sinful! The twisted teaching that in any case divorce is a sin is wrong. Read your bible please. 🙏🏾
@@jessicamarie6448Amen.
That American guy needs to know that being the loudest in the room doesn’t make you the most intelligent
Bro is 19 at best. The lack of exposure is screaming. Didn’t make up to 2 sentences that made sense.
I wish they allowed the guy on green t-shirt to speak more.
The guy spews nonsense. I am actually scared for him and his future wife....
Wrong and strong 💀💀💀
Ikr 😊😅😅😂😂
That boy is too young to there sef
When I was six years old, I begged my mother to leave my father. There was more trauma staying with him. My mother never left him, and now I'm scarred from all the fighting and violence that went on in my home. Both of my parents ended up abusive. I never want to get married, and I don't even have the desire. That's how bad it was. If you have to separate from a person for many years, what is the difference between that and divorce?
Dear Alvin's future wife, I pray you watch this video and run
Screaming!!!!😂😂😂😂
Amen
Dead😭😭😂
I hope she sees this video before she even decides to marry him 😰
Real bro needs mental evaluation
that woman is sharing her traumatic experiences and being vulnerable and this two people , Alvin and Lady in orange were heavily invalidating her experiences. my heart broke every time her voice broke. I would have defended her if I was there.
Lady in orange reminds me of the barrister who burned her house maid with iron
When her voice was breaking when she said ‘can’t someone hear me’ because they all shouted over her. Wicked people
@@AfrogirrlI think that’s how she also felt when people kept coming to tell her to remain in the marriage. She felt trappped in that marriage again. I’m so angry for her
What! Let me guess , for cheating??😭😭
@@Afrogirrlvery wicked people , Its more than ignorance .
Not that woman in orange saying “he hits me yet he loves me” LOL 💀
Trauma bond
😂😂😂
Crazy right?
delulu...
😂@@laifakumo8183
Dead ass like wtf
Mama in green is a true mother survivor and role model. We love you for standing up for yourself 🥺🤍
Many are mad...few are roaming.
We need more more conversations like this to expose how deficient people can be in their thinking.
Mummy Green, Guy in Green and the Lawyer...God bless and keep you all.
Amen!!!❤
Alvin isn't making any sense , "prioritising" your child's future by keeping them in the same traumatising environment where they should have felt the safest at the expense of their mental health and wellness? Please crack another joke. This isn't so funny. 🙄
😂😂😂he is just using accent with no brain 🧠
Oh well they’ve already been traumatised - Alvin’s logic
Happy the lawyer cleared him on that. Hopefully he learned.
@@Idkchangethislateryup, that’s basically what he’s saying
@@enne2106 thank God for that lawyer oh. The way they (orange lady, Alvin and hat guy) were saying help the man as if r@pe isn't an actual crime 🙆🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️. Thank God he was there, he was even anti- divorce and yet.
To the lady in the green that marriage didn’t fail because she got married at a young age, not at all. The marriage failed because the Husband FAILED to keep his promise and his vow. Marriage is a covenant and it’s between, 2 people and God. The husband absolutely did not fear God to have something so sacred and beat on another Child of God. God is a God of love and grace and to be honest I feel that He understands this sister and He is not condemning her. If she is alive today, it is because God has a plan for her. Had she stayed in that marriage it could have also altered her relationship with God because a lot of people feel like God has forsaken them when going through something like that. She chose solitude and got away and for her children too. She’s selfless and a warrior. A survivor and God loves her. All she can do now is pray for the exhusband and build that relationship with God trusting Him in all things
dq0yee0000
Thank you!!! 🙏🏾
I really hope the lady in green reads this! Please Please Please know YOU DID THE RIGHT THING- Your ex-husband Failed, NOT YOU!!! If you are religious, you know God cares for ALL of His children and what does He say about those that harm them? He says it would be better that a milestone would be wrapped around their neck and they be thrown into the sea! It is never okay to beat on your spouse- NEVER! God is also very clear about the grounds for divorce in the Bible and you were well within that right! 25 years was a lot, too much- you are a Gracious WARRIOR! I am SO SO SORRY about the people on this panel that were totally disrespectful towards you, shutting your voice down and talking over you!!! They should have been listening at your feet to the wisdom of this Matriarch. I am SO Sorry, seriously I couldn’t watch any more after that disrespect!!!! I am SOOO Sorry for your sorrow, I truly believe like the above commenter stated that if you will serve God He will crown you with Glory and protect and preserve and heal your children. We come from different cultures, and I know divorce is more stigmatized where you are from, but please hold your head high- You Deserve to!!!
@@saigesummers7pathstopeace487 THIS 👏🏾 very well said and so true!! I hope she sees this 🤍
Thanks for sharing
This video shows why kids don’t speak up when being sexually abused in African homes
The woman who said she won't divorce her husband, especially after hearing that, the situation is sexual molestation of her children is EVIL.
Yes! And she had the audacity to talk about Christ. 😂. So wrong.
- Somebody should help us and deck that Alvin dude. It is like that accent is clouding his judgement. Shuooooooo.
- Uncle with the hat lacks empathy; he is giving, "I have been abused, and I survived, you too, you should survive".
- Aunty in orange and black, God will preserve your children, especially your daughter. Please say Amen.
- Mummy in green, you are badass and brave. We are so proud of you! We love you! God bless you! God preserve you! God bless the works of your hands, ma!❤❤
- Oga Fisayooooo🙌🙌🙌🙌 It is God that will bless you ehn!🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
- Our able young man who is asking the hard questions, THANK YOU!!!!! Because that question you asked early on helped us to see the kind of people we are talking to here.
💯
The guy in the hut gives me an abuser vibe, the way he was talking about being separated from his wife. And when Alvin was talking about abuse he was like “it’s not everyday” like abuse is not okay anyday. It should never happen.
much love to the woman in green❤️i cannot believe they blamed her for getting married at a young age and implying that’s why she got abused. WTF??? also the other woman said “he hits me but he loves me” GIRL BYEE😭
Typical of narcissists. A bunch of ignorant and foolish people
Yes they say we are too old when we are single till 30,we marry early they blame us still
Funny thing is the woman in orange also got abused even though she got married at 30. It really doesn’t make sense.
I love the fact that a lawyer is part of this conversation. He brings balance to the conversation on both sides
30:55 these goats are gaslighting this woman even after she almost died. Marriage at a young age isn't the cause of abuse. An abuser does his/her thing no matter who the victim is.
Yeah, that was sad to watch. Talking about she shouldn't have married at 19. That is the problem. You were too young to know not to talk back. Bunch of cave like minds. What! How the people that put this conversation together didn't think to have someone there to make sure they are listening, empathizing, making sense, etc is what I'm trying to understand. What is even the goal here?
An abuser is more likely to target younger people with less experience.
That part made me really sad
@@nata7536girls especially in Nigeria are less likely to date others and have experience in general
They are so wrong for this
What a disturbing episode. For people to make excuses for pedophiles is absurd.
That’s Africa for you. They will sometime use sorcelery to excuse it sometime accuse the abused the child. Some women may even know what they husband is doing to their child and start hating the child. Because they husband finds the child attractive not them.instead of protecting the child and denouncing the predator.
And inc@st 🤮🤮
I'm telling you 😢
very
It's vile
Mama in green. I apologise for this entire experience that you had to go through.
Yet she sounds like the least desirable for marriage.
Alvin's perspective is so scary!
I hope he gets the help he needs.
This! I feel he has probably been a victim of a divorced parent and that affected him and has clouded his view. I hope he heals cossss this take is concerning
Let's first define marriage.......when did being beaten,marital rape,pedophile acts, lack of reasoning and verbal abuse,psychological torture also define marriage???
This happens when a society raises a generation that believes marriage is the only goal for a woman. The only catch to completely define one as a complete adult😢.
Am definitely pro good marriage but not the nonsense going on these days.
Most people see red flags but staying hoping the partner will change.
SAD.
Well said sis
These things happened too much in these mariages and relationships. Women just need to decenter men. Men are not my God is not the most important thing in the world.
Facts.
I agree but it’s not even a these days problem. Infact it is even better now than in the past, things were even more quite and normalised.
Who’s this guy on green that is pro divorce - Your parents should be proud of you! Oga Lawyer- your wife should be proud of you. Mummy green - you’re brave and strong and thank you for standing your ground!!! God bless you all
Awwwn…His name is Fisayo
AMEN FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK TO HEAR
yesss! I know the lawyer's wife is living peacefully. He is very level headed and wise!
@@pelumiadepoju217 you are really a child from a home
@@barbarambanugo5676 I don’t understand
“ If I’m the child, I will arrest you and my father”😂😂😂
I shouted YESS with him😂😂😂
Fact😂
This one got me🤣🤣🤣🤣@@ibukunoluwaadeoye
👏👏👏he was sensible 😂
He’s amazing 😂
This was an extremely difficult watch, I almost didn’t finish the video. Trivialising sexual abuse, gaslighting a lady who has been in a coma three times due to physical abuse 😮unfortunately this mindset is far too common in Nigeria….
Having parents that have sense is a very underated blessing shu!!!🙌
I swear
💯💯💯
26:40 i love how someone finally told Alvin to reference the "data" that he has been basing his argument on😭😭😭
The dark woman in glasses was obviously talking from a place of great pain and bad experiences but at the same time she wasn't talking as a victim to invoke pity from the rest, she was speaking as a survivor as a victor, her kids should be so proud of the mother they have, that's a strong woman right there.
I love that she was also trying to advice. She explained show she tried it and though it would be fixed. Her saying she would have left after year 1 was so depressing since she stayed for 25 years. But it helps others understand that once you know it’s unsafe you need to get away.
i swear standing ovation for her
Dear parents, your kids will rather have you alive, happy and divorced than slowly dying in a marriage, inorder to "protect" them.
So well said 👏🏾👏🏾 this should be pinned even!
Mama in green, you’re a star. I love you, your children are lucky to have you. You prioritised your children’s mental health and overall well-being. Mr Fisayo, your reasoning is amazing, you know what you’re talking about. Olatubosun, you’re a man and I commend your honesty and bravery in speaking the truth. Alvin must just be a real life chipmunk, because he’s spewing venom.
E say na real chipmunk..
Rubbish personnn😢
Chipmunk 😂😂
So glad there was an actual legal practitioner to quell the rubbish.
Yeah
With so much wisdom
True
Not them gaslighting the mama on green … that she married too young… ridiculous… as if it wasn’t a norm then ….
As in when they started doing that I felt like jumping into the screen 😂😂. I would not have stood for it at all!!!
And the other woman married at 30 and was being abused too
And also, even if we say it’s her mistake (for the sake of the argument) so what now? “You shouldn’t marry a wrong person” yeah, everyone would agree with that, but you can’t go back in time, you can only correct the decision NOW.
I am so happy to listen to Fisayo, the lawyer. I love the legal pov from him. A breath of fresh air linked with common sense and reality.
Yessss 👏👏👏
I got married at the age of 26 to a man 5 years older than me.
I was severely abused for 7 years till I chose life over death and left
I’m proud of you ❤.
I'm so happy you chose to leave. I'm sorry you went through that, no one deserves that. I'm wishing the best for you ❤
I’m sorry you went through that. Don’t ever allow someone to shame you because what you did was the right thing.
Good for you. I think when people realize that till death do us part doesn’t apply to people who abuse them and abuse their children the world would have way more divorces as it should.
Sorry for what you’ve been through,i wish you happiness!! I also got married to a man when i was 21 years and him 33 years,left naija and moved to new country with nobody i know,i was abused(emotionally) for 6 years,i went through hell,i was like a living dead,till i got divorced 2 years ago,best decision i ever made in my life,am so happy now,never know life could be this good Alhamdulillah
The anti-divorce side is vexing me
I think they're intentionally sthupeeed for content cuz no sane person can say what they said.
@@joeadeleke you would be suprised
@@joeadelekeive heard people say such in normal conversations
Honestly insane
you would be surprised lol, many older nigerian women think like this, its so sad .@@joeadeleke
They are lying to push their own narrative. Some children beg their parents to divorce because they’re tired of seeing the fights.
Not only that, many abuse partners are abusive parents.
@@immaculatepeter5529 THANK YOU!!!! like protect your children
My current situation🗣 moving out soon
i begged my mom since i was 9 yrs, i am now 24yrs and they're still together
THIS!!
I’m from a home where my parents fought physically since I was old enough to know what fighting is and I can tell you that I prayed everyday for them to divorce when I was older!! It only got worse as I grew older and experiencing such trauma only complicated their children’s lives so yeah I SUPPORT DIVORCE!!!
Btw, Alvin and the lady in orange are not who they think they are. Is receiving beating from a man a competition ma???
KUDOS TO THE LAWYER , DUDE IN GREEN AND THE WOMAN IN GREEN! Y’all spoke nothing but facts♥️
The lawyer is the voice of reason.... such a balanced perspective
She - " ooh yes he hits me yet he loves me" .
Sent me in another dimension.
Don't let her fool you if he hits you or abuse you leave IMMEDIATELY ASAP
REMEMBER LOVE IS GENTLE AND KIND NOT ABUSIVE IF IT IS ABUSIVE THAN IT AIN'T LOVE BABY GIRL.
The sense was knocked from her head
Now if he almost kills her I hope she wont be saying that. The green girl story was so scary.
No love is greater than respect. If someone truly loves you they respect and hold you in high esteem. No man that loves a woman would want to see her drop a tear let alone beat her. I don’t know what this people think love is. Her mindset is sick and disgusting.
My god. None of the anti-divorce people should have children. How foul.
These are abusers hiding behind abusive parts of religious culture.
Honestly 😢😢
People have different opinions and views, you might not agree with them but you have no right to judge them or castigate them.
@@ay1ismi will proudly judge and castigate anyone who will standby and watch someone rape an innocent child in the name of “anti-divorce”. You people are mad.
@@caramelgumdrop393 Where does she say she would wait and watch innocent children being raped in the name of anti divorce? You see the reason why it is important to argue with the head instead of emotions. She even clearly said she would separate from the person and have him dealt with by the law. But then, one shouldn't expect any better from a dvmb insecure person with fragile emotions like you who cannot make any constructive argument but to throw insults.
My mouth was just wide up from hearing the rubbish these anti divorce are saying
8:20 the most traumatic thing you can do to your child who was sexually abused by her father is have them both in the same household and force her to relive the trauma by seeing his face each day. He did it once he will most certainly do it again. He already crossed that boundary.
The fact that when that lady was asked if she would remain in the instance that her child is sexually assaulted by their partner and her first response was “is it true?” Told me everything I need to know. Those kind of people are on the same boat as the child abusers because they are willing to hide it
My problem is if I came on this show I’ll insult somebody 😭
Na that Alvin I go insult 😂
No literally idk how they’re so calm 😂
I swearrrr😂, that Alvin guy is so irritating. The loudest in the room, but he is an empty head
Me, in fact, I will fight 😂
Fr i swear, cos nobody on the outside world would tell you how foolish you are
I'm afraid I have to disagree with Mrs. Jane, I got married at 31 and ended up divorced. So for Mrs. Elizabeth getting married at the of 19 is not the cause of her divorce or failed marriage.
My mouth was open from 0:01. My tears go to those that are so traumatised they have began to justify the actions of the abusers. I cry for you
I am glad my mother is not that lady in Orange/red outfit. She's toxic.
Bro she married at 30, she feels her husband did her a privilege to marry her.
She was probably mocked for being 30 and unmarried before she married.
My concern is her sons who have seen their father abuse their mother, and their mother has normalised it.
They will grow up to believe it is normal to beat a woman and she should sit down and tolerate it.
I hope she doesn’t have daughters omg😢
She seems to be in a healthy marriage, hence her inability to understand the reason/need for divorce in some marriages.
Ignorance comes from lack of experience/knowledge. If faced with such situations in her marriage, she will definitely be in great shock.
@@neosjournal_I hope she doesn’t have kids period!
@@ms.Waldorf She said she has a daughter and a son, I pity her daughter the most. She said she wouldn't divorce her husband if he assaulted her daughter.
I grew up seeing my mum and my step sister being beat up. F that shit. If you have commom sense, leave. There are people that stay and die. It traumatises the kids, it traumatises the woman. Leave a physically abusive marriage. Dont negotiate. Leave.
The American boy accent is just inexperienced, and i understand he's speaking from a place of ignorance
To the 29 year old guy who is in a 3 years narriage with numerous separations, I'm not surprised; I'm sure that woman would have left earlier if she had the chance to with this kind of mentality in that head of his
The woman who married at 30 does not love herself, and is speaking from a place of religious beliefs that has been imbibed in her since childhood, and obviously does not have the best interest of her kids (in that hypothetical situation used)
I sympathise with the woman who managed a marriage of 25 years; I wish you strength to keep glowing
Mr Lawyer, you're such a breath of fresh air
To the other pro-divorce defender, you're doing well, andthe society surely needs more of you
Shalom