I WASTED MY 20s... ?| THINGS I WISH I KNEW - LESSONS, REGRETS & ADVICE
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- Опубликовано: 28 июн 2024
- Hey loves, In this video, I share some extremely important things that I wish I had known in my 20s
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Proverbs 31:25
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Kindness was what made me first notice my husband. How he goes out of his way to help. I am grateful for it everyday in our marriage
That’s a good man 💯👏🏽
It’s good if he’s still like that
At 25, the brain is just fully formed, and you are right, 25 is too young to get married. I have no regrets about having dedicated my twenties to myself. I wanted to get to know me first before hitching my life to someone else. Another thing: the worst thing we can do is compare ourselves to others. When the grass looks greener on the other side, it usually just an illusion.
You’re never too young to fulfill God’s plan for you
you cant tell you are too young with age but maturity
I get it’s your point of view but how is 25 too young? Our mothers and grandparents got married at teenage age and some the early 20s, I don’t get how this generation keeps infantilizing people in their 20s I’m actually stunned bec back in the days when you’re in your 20s one was considered an adult who knew right from wrong but these days when you’re in your 20s you’re considered a teenager na wa o.
Very wise
@@MissTracyyy223 High schoolers in the 1960s had more maturity and understanding about life than most recent college grads today. Entertainment, college, and the pushing of a cost intensive lifestyle on middle and working classes has delayed maturation. Recent grads/20-somethings never made much money. Our parents and grandparents almost never travelled out of the country, plenty moved out from Mom and Dad and in with spouse after a simple wedding, and careers got established the same way they always did--by showing up and exceeding expectations. The push by colleges and corporations to convince Boomers and Gen X'ers to give their kids what they never had has led to a less intelligent, less healthy, less resilient, less financially stable set of 20-somethings. But at least they saw Spain?
I'm 32 and I think these tips can translate into your early 30s as well. As women we tend to see 30 as the final hour of life where everything should be sorted and in place for the rest of your life, when in reality it is only your 2nd decade of adulthood.
Yessss I totally agree with you on this. Even when you are 50 as a woman, you'll still experience new things so at every stage of life certain principles apply
Exactly
That's fine to acknowledge that 30s and later can still teach you things. You can live your best life with a husband in your 20s. Still learn those same new things later in life. There is 0 downside to early marriage and yet there is rampant evidence that a larger % of women who "chase the bag" or "want to experience and travel" and use those as excuses to not get married and end up making regret videos. Btw the term settle down exists for a reason. Every generation acknowledges that you can't live like a 22 year old all thru your 20s and 30s without missing out and losing out on way more than you tkink you gain. Happy wife happy life only exists for women who choose the married life over the girl boss life.
@@nonope5414 u said it all dear. For myself I got married at 19 had 3 awesome kids. Living a peaceful and happy married life 14yrs and counting. I've got no regrets whatsoever 😍
❤❤
I can't understand why people think they wasted their 20s... There are certain things our parents should teach us but sometimes this don't happen for whatever reason. But generally our 20s are about finding out who you are and we are still growing , being more confident so at some point in ours 20s we are allowed to make certain mistakes
Social Media doesn’t help. I’m sorry but as stupid as it sounds, when you see all these rich 20 something year olds that you’ve been following for years & now you’re their age…you feel like you’re not doing enough. Comparison is the thief of joy but it’s a really good thief.
‘Money was just something I had to have and let it not move’ I felt that so hard. What I tell myself now is that life is for the living. Money will come back
Oh my! I so agree with you on this. Before I would starve myself of enjoyment in the present cuz I am saving but now, I still save though but I also try to live in the moment cuz like you said, life is actually for living
Profound 📌
You should still be smart and have savings though at any age, too many people spend money recklessly when they have it then fall on hard times and have no plan b.
Kindness is the reason why I am with my boyfriend.:. I figured this out in my thirties and honestly wished my parents had told me!!! I lost a lot in my twenties but I want to believe God has a plan
This tips is a life saver thank you for sharing
Yes, I can relate also because I’m a first daughter and first child. We are people pleasers to the extent that we neglect ourselves. May God help us👏♥️♥️♥️
Exactly
Honestly, it’s not easy being a first daughter. So much pressure to set a good example 😪
I don’t know 🤷♀️ why is always like that this first born and first daughter thing ehhhh we are so compassionate
Apt😢… I still pray for grace
Amen 🙌🙏
I'm in my late 30s, and I approve this message! So much wisdom.
Not me with less than 6 months to the end of my 20's watching this like it would save me.
Use it in your 30s ❤
Same. Just turned 30 😂
Dimma, you are right. Most of us Africans don’t have the knowledge on Narcissism. We need to.
Thank you so much dimma for putting out this constant. I am 27 turning 28 in a few months. Recently resigned from a job that had become mentally and emotionally draining. Its never too late to start again ..
Same here luv, makes us two 😂 we will be fine
@@TheBibiLeonards truely we will
@@georginaiyere5655 14:47
Same here... 27 turning 28 next month . Left a job about 2 weeks ago. 😂
This was me sometime last year. You will be fine💫
Kindness was the first thing I noticed about my husband and my very good friend who is like a sister to me now
Be kind to people in all walks of life because table turns so quickly,explaning yourself to people always gives people room to treat you a certain way. At this stage in life,I address issues immediately and not go behind the scene to reminisce on what I should I said to the person.
Early marriage is based on choice and learning in it is key👌👌👌it’s not by age but a clear understanding on what you want.
Wisdom packed and lots of impact too.
Love how you engage other people's videos.
Insightful
I’m 29 and I must say everything dimma said is the truth. I wish I knew better. And what she said about first daughters and first born is also true, amof I’m still struggling with pleasing people.
I turned 24 two months ago and i have been feeling a certain way, like I'm not doing enough and being a first daughter/child too just kinda of increased d pressure I'm mounting on myself. Thank you so much for this video @ Dimma 😊🥰
My prayer has always been to keep meeting kind and nice people 😊🥰 cus is definitely a life changer meeting such people and being one yourself.
Ahhh dimma I feel like you were talking to me directly. You completely hit the nail on the head when you talked about first born and first daughter I almost started crying cause you described me in every detail. I’m such a people pleaser and care so much what people think of me and I’m still struggling praying about it and hoping God changes me.
God will help you. Always ask yourself if the person/people that you value their thoughts feed you, cloth you or pay any of your bills. Do they add any sort of value to you other than trying to play God by judging you. Always remember to live for yourself because they will probably talk about you for 2 minutes tops and move on but you on the other might make life altering decisions to please people that do not have their lives together or care about you. The only difference between you and them is that they hide all their dirty laundry (bad acts) behinds closed doors. Trust me, they do the same things they judge you for if not worse, you just cannot see it. Also always please yourself first, if you are not well taken care of by yourself, you cannot take care of anyone else long term. You will burn out eventually, so take care of yourself.
Number 9 is something I can relate to. I'm turning 20, and I always feel if the money isn't in excess there is no need for me to spend it. And I always regret it! 😔Thank you for sharing this🙏❤️
People who tell you what you “could be” doesn’t meant that they don’t take you for who you are. Sometimes you see people for more than what they think they are and you telling them “could be” is just helping them to realize their potential. I wouldn’t say it’s a red flag.
Omg!! I literally turned 25 yesterday and I’m still so bambozzled because I definitely do not feel 25, if anything I feel 22. Thank you so much Dinma for this video🥰
😂 This was me 2months ago don't worry give it time it will hit
I am a first child and a first born... We are so wired to be the caretaker and thinking everyother person but ourselves 🥺
And worrying a lot about what people think or say about us and not falling short of expectations. It’s truly draining
This so true....of late I tell myself it's ok not to extend myself for others.In fact I cautiously assess whether to or not do certain things
Well said Dimma! I am with you on the fact that Kindness is so underrated. Watch how your friends treat / talk about their other friends. It says a whole lot about who they are.
-'Travel, the money will come back'. It's crazy how I have been able to train my mind to not be afraid to spend money, because I believe it will come back; it does one way or another.
I can really relate about that early marriage, I was so used financially and it is now that I have learned to stand up for myself. Well said" the quality of your friends is way more important than the quantity of your friends ".
Please, can you explained what you mean by 'used financially' it could be the same as what am going through.
I can’t believe someone I considered more than a friend said I was indecisive because I’m opened to changing my mind. I grew in the friendship and knew she wasn’t even suppose to be my friend so I genuinely let her go. Hearing Dinma validate that action of mine, I’m more glad again
Girl, I always feel like I'm the only one who had this kind of friend. Glad to know it is not a standalone experience
I had it before I cut him off all he did was bring drama and misery I had to let that miserable Individuals go because they were of no use to me in any form.
@@laughoncomedy2923 Great you did that 🙌🏻
I just turned 25 last week and honestly don't feel that age. Let us learn to grow at our pace, even though we need to have an open mind, we should not become something else because of pressure. Take your time, to learn who you are, because you are unique and you have your story to write.
Dimma! This is so good! I’m in my late 20s and I was literally just thinking about where I’m at in life… thank you for sharing💗💗
Thank you so much dimma, I really needed to hear this… I’m also an empath and people have stepped on my head a lot in the past…. I’m in my 20’s and your advice made me feel so much better❤️❤️❤️especially the “kindness part”
I loved every bit of this video. I am 23 and I am trying to change my mind on the kind of job I am doing. Thank you for reminding me that it is okay. ❤
I don't even have a job to begin with. It's really hard.
I think kindness is the basics, what’s unique is conscientiousness ie motivated kindness ❤ it’s a kindness that comes with understanding and compassion (love)
Thank you Dinma.
Some of the points that hit home were the ones about kindness, friendship, money and don't be afraid to change your mind. 💛
Dimma,I agree with you in so many ways most especially about finding and discovering yourself as a person before making a life-long decision like getting married. The way I see things right now isn't the way I saw them in the past and also I want you to know that your mistakes are lessons you have learned so you shouldn't have any regrets.
Loved every bit of it. The one taht resonates with me the most is "It is okay to change your mind" I always felt I have to stick to a particular school of thoughts or values but as time went on and I grew older I realized it is okay to change and not feel embarrased about it because people might see you differently.
You are right about not wanting to please people and sacrificing one's happiness.
I felt so seen and touched when you mentioned how your upbringing and where you are in your twenties makes a lot of sense, I’ve had this dialogue in my head that I should be doing more, getting more. I was raised to not have confidence/self esteem and I’m working to release it but I feel so behind my peers. You’re helping me come to the conclusion to see myself for what I am and having space for this period in my life
Dimma, I have no words for this episode. You have said it all. Thank you for the intentionality you put into this episode. I will share.
20 year old watching your videos, thank you so much Dinma! You’re inspiring ❤
Most definitely loved everything you talked about regarding the things you wish you would have known in your 20s! These are so important.. especially kindness & savings! 🙌🏽
‘There are times and seasons for everything,even in your career.’
I needed to hear every single thing you said in this video. Chai!! Can't remember the last time something resonated with me on this level!
I legit didn’t want this video to come to an end. I came to realise a lot of this things barely 2yrs ago and I am grateful for growth. I love love love love you Dims❤
Thank you so much Dimma, this was a very insightful video, especially that bit about putting kindness first when picking friends and lovers and partners. And that bit about spending money on certain experiences, I’ve recently being holding back on something’s don that bit reinforced my decision to go ahead with it because like you said time cannot be recovered but money can always be made again.
The kindness! yes it's so underrated! My now bf is so kind! Mo thoughtful & caring to me & my needs! And he NEVER bad mouths other people! idc what they may have done or what theyre situation may be! And im the same way! but used to be talk im being to nice etc. It's so refreshing having a partner that's so thoughtful and kind spirited!🤍
Thank you, Dinma.
I particularly liked the point of saving towards a goal.
I literally feel like I'm getting old and haven't really achieved alot and I just clocked 25, I really needed to hear this. Thanks 😊❤
My Dimma is back and it’s a banger!!!! I’m currently relieved 😅 and my evening is made ❤
Thank you Dimma, we love what you create
These tips are so true. Kindness is a compulsory quality to look out for.
This was so good Dimma!!! Very insightful
This video is so much valuable, I can't thank you enough Dimma!
The video I didn’t know I needed. Absolutely love it
These are one of my ultimate favorite videos, to watch on RUclips, because I just LOVE learning from other people's experiences & getting advice. So, thank you Dimma! This helped me loads!!!🥰💝
Dimma you literally just point out every thing here love
Dimma Thank you for these, every single point u made is so relevant to me.👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Yess! Kindness in all ramifications. Some people talk bad about others and you wonder what they'll say about you, if you have a fall out or not.
I had a friend in my early twenties that stayed with me for 2years. When we had a fall out, her other friends stopped talking to me. One of them saw me a few months later and told me he hated me for sometimes. i asked him why, he said it was a long story, so I told him not to bother, but I hope he had stop hating, if not he will keep on hurting because I wasn't aware that he hated me.
I am 25 years old and I'm glad you mentioned how your background has an effect on when you become successful.Thank you so much for that❤.
This is what I needed today, thank you Dimma for this.
oh girl the tips you gave I needed to here , I completely feel you 💕💖❤
Lately I've become more conscious about number three and six and nine. As a first daughter too, I have such similar experience with you and I'm so grateful for this video, because I learned a lot.
How can I like this video a million times 😩
The part you talked about first daughters hit so hard, thanks DimDim for this video ❤️
Thank you so much Dimma for this. I genuinely found this helpful.
Thank you, Dima! Exactly how I feel now that i'm turning 30 in a few weeks.
Thank you dinma for this. I really needed this talk. I started my exams and I am not exactly happy with the way one of them went and I have been beating myself up because I have this mindset that if my family friend of mine could bag a first class what’s stopping me from having a distinction in my masters. Thank you so much I feel so relieved. I am a first child and first daughter btw 😊
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We need more videos like this Dimdim🥰 You were born to enlighten people
Preach Dimma!!!! Thank you for sharing 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Super helpful. I’m 25 and the first child, this is so relatable.
Your videos are always worth watching ❤
This is a wholesome content. Thanks Dinnma I can relate to the first daughter. I still care of what people think about me, but I'm getting there😢.
And this 25 own ehhh. A guy literally told me when I was 26 that I won't be desirable to get married cos men prefer 25 and below. Thank God I know better. Married a year later sha. And the achievement my God 😢😢. God bless you so much
Honestly this is absolutely a wonderful advice and I just had to subscribe. Thank you so much Dimma. Sending you love ❤️❤️
Thanks for sharing Dimma!
I'm not done watching but I really liked how you touched on point no. 4 about narcissism/ narcissists. We have to learn to recognise them from a mile away and run in the opposite direction, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. Falling in their trap spells doom.
Thanks once again, many blessings!! Now, let me watch till the end : )
Very well said! I am learning to show grace to myself and act better as I know better ❤
This video was sooo needed. I'm sharing to every 20 something i know
You hit the nail on the head. Love you, Dimmah 🙂 these make total sense to me
Thank you so much Dimma. All you said is everything!!! Really grateful for you and this video ❤️
This helped me soooo much, i have been going through a rough patch recently thinking im not doing enough for my age because i just turned 25, and u saying this, just like put my whole mind at ease, thanks a lot, honestly sharing it to my whatsapp for ladies to watch, cuz the pressure on our heads these days ehnn.
Thank you so much Dinma. I'm in my 20s and I'm totally able to relate with these.
Thanks for this video Dimma!❤
Thanks for sharing this❤️ I'm walking out of my 20's soon and I can relate❤️
I appreciate how kindly you share those valuable advices!!!
Dims😭😭😭
You don't know what this video has done for me.
Thank you for filming it.
This is so amazing.
Thank you for this piece, Dinma. ❤
Thank you so much for sharing Dimma
This is so thoughtful of you.
I really learnt a lot from this video
Very good lessons to learn, Thank you so much Dimma❤. I really appreciate this.
You honestly spoke everything I am thinking about, i wish I knew this things early In my life
The best part is I wished the video never end. So many Key advice, part 2 please.
Thank you Dimma❤
Uche it's okay to change your mind on certain things!
The last lesson was for me
I hope I really learn it🤲🏽
Don't beat yourself up. We all learn lessons at different ages and you are going to continue learning new ones with time. I would argue that you appreciate kindness because you understand kindness sacrifice and choice. With youth there is little to sacrifice...right? The more you establish yourself financially, the more one appreciate the choice to be kind and the spirit behind that choice.😊
Thank you for this. I've been feeling guilty for withdrawing from a toxic friendship. I really appreciate this
Don’t feel guilty, I was also and got tempted, went back to Him within a week i almost died from he’s beatings. Never again
You shouldn’t I did the same narcissistic people are evil
Thank you dimma❤ I'm in my late 20s and I can really relate to every single word spoken today ❤
Dimma, you are such a blessing!
Let me repeat "Read up on Narcissism"
You are so so right Dimma. I am a first child girl and so much relate/agree with all you said. Thank you. Blessings
You just explained what I’m going through and I have learnt a lot I’m glad I watched this video
I saw navigating 20s and i quickly click.. Because this adulthood is showing a lot
In my 30s but this video resonates so much with me. I am an empath also and I wish I knew about narcissism a lot earlier. It would have saved me a ton of heartache from shitty people who I shouldn’t have been in relationships with whether platonic or romantic. Narcissism is real and it can mess you up real bad. Leave while you can.
Great nuggets! Kindness kindness kindness. Very important
So on point about first daughters being people pleasers. This is a trait i am really fighting to overcome. could literally injure myself just to please people and it sucks. Thanks for this.
Hi Dinma, thank you for this video. I am about to turn 26 in like 5 months time and a lot of the time it feels like I am racing time. A good bunch of the time I get afraid too. Hearing you say this assures me that as long as I am not complacent I will be fine and I thrive.
I love you so much for this video Dimma! Thank you🙏🏾🥹
God bless you for this video, just told my friend that kindness is the first thing in a relationship
I could watch this over and over! Nail on the head Dimma
Thank You Dinma ❤.. this episode is a full package. Thanks buddy for sharing ❤
Thank you so much Dimma...this was really insightful
this was such an amazing video!!!!💖