This is so real! I feel like as INFPs have access to their introverted feelings Fi as opposed to us INFJs. Therefore they have such inner clarity from the beginning of life. This kind of makes me envy them🙃 this video cuts to the core of this issue!
I’m glad it did just that for you! That was my hope! My sister is a classic INFP. She’s super woke about all these issues going on around the world, knows exactly how she feels about each issue, knows her stance, will debate you on it… while I’m just like “please!!! Can we just get along?!” I enjoy talking to her because she teaches me a lot and inspires me to be more grounded in my sense of self and my likes/dislikes.
I used to feel it was just me too. People would say it was bad to “stereotype” others but I almost kind of wished I just fit into a stereotype because at least then I could know a little bit more about myself… then BAAM! I found out I was an INFJ and part of the identity is that we don’t have a solid identity and then I was like……….. ooooooooh….. 👽 All good though! It’s just part of who we are.
#4 Is why I left my church. Our pastor died, 2 kids of fellow members committed suicide. Feeling everyone's grief. 1 person wouldn't speak to me when we were friends prior. A child was bullying mine and parents allowed dark things to be around her and allowed her cruelty. I tried to stay in class to observe. I felt alienated for trying to protect my child. All was just too much for my infj self and codependent aspect. Working on that now.
I haven't spent a lot of time studying the Myers Briggs system but from everything I've heard about the INFJ personality I would say that it describes me better than the other types. It's like... while other people are busy talking, I tend to sink into a state of mind where I stop the world and peer into the nonverbal, profound essence of everything... searching for the truth behind it all. Then when I return to the word-based reality of the conversation, I realize that other people are more drawn to the superficial side of existence and dread any acknowledgment of their essential selves. I would be happy to share some of my pearls of wisdom gleaned from the deep end if I thought they were interested, but I keep it all a secret out of sympathy for others, because I realize if they had to see things from my perspective, it would challenge their belief systems, and I'm afraid it might cause their heads to explode or something. Like you said in one of your other videos, it would be like describing the color blue to someone who's color-blind. The people who have known me for years don't really know me at all... They don't even know themselves as far as that goes.
You are absolutely right. I remember reading a book a long time ago called “The Giver.” It was about a secret society utopia where everyone was assigned a spouse, a job, a family, and no one knew about sex, birth, death, etc. The only person who knew was “the giver” of the society and he was the keeper of all the secrets of the society… so the story follows a boy who was chosen to become the next “giver” of the society and he now sees the society on an entirely different level and sees just how blind and blissfully ignores the everyone is… and unfortunately life as an INFJ is kind of like that… not saying everyone is blind and INFJ’s are so special and only we know it all… but we definitely experience life in a way that others could never even begin to fathom.
I’ve always had a hard time understanding my ‘sense of self’ because there’s not really a point to identifying myself… Like anyone else I could never see myself from the outside looking in, and trying to describe a guess of what that would be from the inside looking out doesn’t make sense. The best answer would be a cheat answer like, “I wanna consistently be seen in *this* way since by using *this* as a reference point I am able to gauge internal progress by contrasting my behaviors/feelings with *this* image/idea I ‘want’ for myself… Therefore I should allow myself to believe I’m *this* subjective opinion of myself because it logically makes sense by ignoring half the information (outside perspective) that I know I’m literally unable to process!” xD To say the same thing over but in ‘Non Ni-Ti looping INFJ’ language, a quote from Allen Watts “Your idea of how you are is often based on what others tell you that you are, and let me tell you, you aren’t that.” Hear me out… Our sense of self is literally our ego, and our ego is literally just a social convention so we have a sense of identity to do people stuff lol… identity is most simply put, a self perceived set of behavior patterns that an individual adopts so other people are capable of recognizing and communicating to them. Basically ‘ego’ the brain’s self-perceiving mechanism that allows us to do people stuff xD Quick example. Think of a gangster having to maintain his image for the steets, right? A person like that needs a strong sense of self because of how dangerous the street life can be. Honestly it’s strange to me that most people really believe that the image they project is who they are, when it’s NOT. People living the street life either choose to be or choose to stay in that life, and not talking about homeless people in that specific example. The general use of ‘street people/gangsters’ is just a basic and easy-to-convey example… People who can’t see the true depth of existing like some INFJs (and a lot of eastern cultured people) do can’t entirely separate their environment as an external influence. They think they have *become or *have to be - a certain way to maintain their life in that environment . Street example again, “if I’m not hard then people will rob me”. But… No. That’s not really it. People project an image suitable to the environment because the environment is influencing them, and if they changed their environment they wouldn’t need that particular projection. So then the excuse to rationalize the idea that they even had to be that person, we must add a layer of meaning… “If Im not hard then people will rob me… +in this environment because I’m unwilling or unable to change it”. Obviously not everyone can change their environment and can get stuck in one projection of their ‘self’, which then gives a permanent impression of that projection. ONLY in that way does someone matching up to their projected ego somewhat makes sense. But thing is. Why is there even an inherent difference between the person m and their sense of self in the first place? Oh finally, an question that’s easy to answer… “Because whatever you think you are, you aren’t that.” - Allen Watts. No one is truly their sense of self and again, your sense of self is just the first layer, your ‘ego’. As an INFJ I’m sure you’ll understand because we see the real depth of life… But what really matters is how others see you seeing yourself, because externally, that’s the actually reality of your ‘ego’ - how others see you seeing yourself. And that only matters superficially because… UNLESS a person is directly prevalent in your life, such as your boss or parents, then, how others see you and how they think you view yourself DOESN’T MATTER. Last street person example, “If (other people in this environment think) I’m not hard then (they) PEOPLE will rob me” It should be normal for some people to be honest with themselves in saying we can’t fully understand ourselves, and that we think other people only understand themselves on a first layer of ego… Because we can be aware that it’s ever changing, that there is a difference between who a person is, who a person projects themselves as, how a person perceives themselves to be through others, and even how their ego is perceived by others. in contrast to people to see them. Anyways, so yeah lol I have no idea what my sense of self is because I don’t even bother projecting anything, I mean I know I still project an image but I don’t make an idea out of it because it won’t match me, the thing projecting the image… it doesn’t make sense or matter xD people gonna see me in their own perspective so that perspective might as well be true, since that’s an actual reality to whomever it concerns Sorry for editing this so many times lmao probably pinged or notifications AF NI-TI loop af lmao
I love this so much! I’ve never thought of it this way before, that a lot of people may just be projecting but that this “poor sense of self” may be true of a lot of people. Maybe INFJ’s know this deep down and that’s why we always look for things deeper than surface level and always try to see what everyone is all about, not just what they’re projecting.
But at the same time, I’m not against the notion that one can be in tune with themselves right? Especially sensing types that don’t think too deeply, probably literally can be like, I like this I am this and I project this therefore I am whatever. Idk however that works xD sometimes it does kinda suck not really having your own opinion outside of ‘I see many opinions’ kinda logic. Especially with simple things. Maybe not all INFJs. But simple stuff is hard to grasp sometimes like. I like milk. Simple. Am I someone who likes milk? Yes. Sometimes I don’t tho… like if I don’t have Oreos & *rabbit hole* lmao lmao lmao right tho? Anyways I love your channel you’re sweet
I just love you. Wanting world peace. How do I get myself back and keep a minimalist home? I was beat down over clutter and rebelled. I have a hard time getting back to who I am, stuff overwhelms me.
This is so real! I feel like as INFPs have access to their introverted feelings Fi as opposed to us INFJs. Therefore they have such inner clarity from the beginning of life. This kind of makes me envy them🙃 this video cuts to the core of this issue!
I’m glad it did just that for you! That was my hope! My sister is a classic INFP. She’s super woke about all these issues going on around the world, knows exactly how she feels about each issue, knows her stance, will debate you on it… while I’m just like “please!!! Can we just get along?!” I enjoy talking to her because she teaches me a lot and inspires me to be more grounded in my sense of self and my likes/dislikes.
the intro (well the whole thing) weirded me out like thats how i feel lots of the time. 👽
I used to feel it was just me too. People would say it was bad to “stereotype” others but I almost kind of wished I just fit into a stereotype because at least then I could know a little bit more about myself… then BAAM! I found out I was an INFJ and part of the identity is that we don’t have a solid identity and then I was like……….. ooooooooh….. 👽 All good though! It’s just part of who we are.
#4 Is why I left my church. Our pastor died, 2 kids of fellow members committed suicide. Feeling everyone's grief. 1 person wouldn't speak to me when we were friends prior. A child was bullying mine and parents allowed dark things to be around her and allowed her cruelty. I tried to stay in class to observe. I felt alienated for trying to protect my child. All was just too much for my infj self and codependent aspect. Working on that now.
I wanted to ease grief and was pushed away.
I haven't spent a lot of time studying the Myers Briggs system but from everything I've heard about the INFJ personality I would say that it describes me better than the other types. It's like... while other people are busy talking, I tend to sink into a state of mind where I stop the world and peer into the nonverbal, profound essence of everything... searching for the truth behind it all. Then when I return to the word-based reality of the conversation, I realize that other people are more drawn to the superficial side of existence and dread any acknowledgment of their essential selves. I would be happy to share some of my pearls of wisdom gleaned from the deep end if I thought they were interested, but I keep it all a secret out of sympathy for others, because I realize if they had to see things from my perspective, it would challenge their belief systems, and I'm afraid it might cause their heads to explode or something. Like you said in one of your other videos, it would be like describing the color blue to someone who's color-blind. The people who have known me for years don't really know me at all... They don't even know themselves as far as that goes.
You are absolutely right. I remember reading a book a long time ago called “The Giver.” It was about a secret society utopia where everyone was assigned a spouse, a job, a family, and no one knew about sex, birth, death, etc. The only person who knew was “the giver” of the society and he was the keeper of all the secrets of the society… so the story follows a boy who was chosen to become the next “giver” of the society and he now sees the society on an entirely different level and sees just how blind and blissfully ignores the everyone is… and unfortunately life as an INFJ is kind of like that… not saying everyone is blind and INFJ’s are so special and only we know it all… but we definitely experience life in a way that others could never even begin to fathom.
I’ve always had a hard time understanding my ‘sense of self’ because there’s not really a point to identifying myself… Like anyone else I could never see myself from the outside looking in, and trying to describe a guess of what that would be from the inside looking out doesn’t make sense. The best answer would be a cheat answer like,
“I wanna consistently be seen in *this* way since by using *this* as a reference point I am able to gauge internal progress by contrasting my behaviors/feelings with *this* image/idea I ‘want’ for myself… Therefore I should allow myself to believe I’m *this* subjective opinion of myself because it logically makes sense by ignoring half the information (outside perspective) that I know I’m literally unable to process!” xD
To say the same thing over but in ‘Non Ni-Ti looping INFJ’ language, a quote from Allen Watts
“Your idea of how you are is often based on what others tell you that you are, and let me tell you, you aren’t that.”
Hear me out…
Our sense of self is literally our ego, and our ego is literally just a social convention so we have a sense of identity to do people stuff lol… identity is most simply put, a self perceived set of behavior patterns that an individual adopts so other people are capable of recognizing and communicating to them. Basically ‘ego’ the brain’s self-perceiving mechanism that allows us to do people stuff xD
Quick example. Think of a gangster having to maintain his image for the steets, right? A person like that needs a strong sense of self because of how dangerous the street life can be. Honestly it’s strange to me that most people really believe that the image they project is who they are, when it’s NOT. People living the street life either choose to be or choose to stay in that life, and not talking about homeless people in that specific example. The general use of ‘street people/gangsters’ is just a basic and easy-to-convey example…
People who can’t see the true depth of existing like some INFJs (and a lot of eastern cultured people) do can’t entirely separate their environment as an external influence. They think they have *become or *have to be - a certain way to maintain their life in that environment . Street example again, “if I’m not hard then people will rob me”.
But… No. That’s not really it. People project an image suitable to the environment because the environment is influencing them, and if they changed their environment they wouldn’t need that particular projection. So then the excuse to rationalize the idea that they even had to be that person, we must add a layer of meaning…
“If Im not hard then people will rob me… +in this environment because I’m unwilling or unable to change it”.
Obviously not everyone can change their environment and can get stuck in one projection of their ‘self’, which then gives a permanent impression of that projection. ONLY in that way does someone matching up to their projected ego somewhat makes sense. But thing is. Why is there even an inherent difference between the person m and their sense of self in the first place? Oh finally, an question that’s easy to answer…
“Because whatever you think you are, you aren’t that.” - Allen Watts.
No one is truly their sense of self and again, your sense of self is just the first layer, your ‘ego’. As an INFJ I’m sure you’ll understand because we see the real depth of life… But what really matters is how others see you seeing yourself, because externally, that’s the actually reality of your ‘ego’ - how others see you seeing yourself. And that only matters superficially because… UNLESS a person is directly prevalent in your life, such as your boss or parents, then, how others see you and how they think you view yourself DOESN’T MATTER.
Last street person example,
“If (other people in this environment think) I’m not hard then (they) PEOPLE will rob me”
It should be normal for some people to be honest with themselves in saying we can’t fully understand ourselves, and that we think other people only understand themselves on a first layer of ego… Because we can be aware that it’s ever changing, that there is a difference between who a person is, who a person projects themselves as, how a person perceives themselves to be through others, and even how their ego is perceived by others. in contrast to people to see them.
Anyways, so yeah lol I have no idea what my sense of self is because I don’t even bother projecting anything, I mean I know I still project an image but I don’t make an idea out of it because it won’t match me, the thing projecting the image… it doesn’t make sense or matter xD people gonna see me in their own perspective so that perspective might as well be true, since that’s an actual reality to whomever it concerns
Sorry for editing this so many times lmao probably pinged or notifications AF
NI-TI loop af lmao
I love this so much! I’ve never thought of it this way before, that a lot of people may just be projecting but that this “poor sense of self” may be true of a lot of people. Maybe INFJ’s know this deep down and that’s why we always look for things deeper than surface level and always try to see what everyone is all about, not just what they’re projecting.
But at the same time, I’m not against the notion that one can be in tune with themselves right? Especially sensing types that don’t think too deeply, probably literally can be like, I like this I am this and I project this therefore I am whatever. Idk however that works xD sometimes it does kinda suck not really having your own opinion outside of ‘I see many opinions’ kinda logic. Especially with simple things. Maybe not all INFJs. But simple stuff is hard to grasp sometimes like. I like milk. Simple. Am I someone who likes milk? Yes. Sometimes I don’t tho… like if I don’t have Oreos & *rabbit hole* lmao lmao lmao right tho? Anyways I love your channel you’re sweet
I just love you. Wanting world peace. How do I get myself back and keep a minimalist home? I was beat down over clutter and rebelled. I have a hard time getting back to who I am, stuff overwhelms me.