This is such a great video, I felt as it was so relatable. Definitely got some good pointers with how I interact with other as an Infj. I’m working really hard on socializing and getting out of my upbringing of being anti-social. It’s a great Adventure and I’m enjoying the self discovery I’m embarking on! Thank you for this video! :D
Very well said. The biggest INFJ quirk that I've been working on recently is learning how to speak as fluidly as I type. I can be a good speaker in front of a crowd, but speaking to people 1-on-1 when I'm not feeling "on" or fully comfortable can be a...messy experience. 😅
Great stuff, listened to the whole thing. Yes, a few others have referenced the overlays of infj, autism spectrum, hsp, etc. Good call there : ) We infj are multi faceted for sure. As for social interactions I'm usually silently calibrating how self aware others are, so I can guage the level of potential mutual alignment. And almost no eye contact while I talk and think, the eyes just go wherever, on their own. Then "care-bear-stare" while in listen mode, ha. As for small talk, I'm actually ok but I can't hang out there. I do like the little awkwardness at the grocery store checkout, and usually make a couple jokes, to make somebody's day a little brighter. It is quite isolating though when so few seem to be able to see the layers and patterns of behaviors and life in general. Also, yes written vs. spoken, ugh! I speak like someone who learned English as a second language, as a first language, ha! . . . glitch . . glitch. . . : ) Wouldn't trade it for any other type, even with all the challenges that go with it.
Wowwwwww! Just wow! Spoken like a true INFJ! You worded it so well. Others have called it being a “social chameleon” but silently calibrating others is such a good way of putting it too! It’s so important for us to know how others are feeling and what wavelength they’re on so that we can meet them where they are and maintain the harmony… so do you find that you have insecurities in social situations? And what in particular brings it about? I.e., for me, I fear I’m really unopinionated and people find me bland and uninteresting.
Just wanted to jump in here real quick if I can.. hey ya’ll 🤗 & shout-out to you Steve for the spot on description of our INFJ tendencies.. it’s so crazy to me that we’re all the same person omg lol. And to hear that you’ve come to enjoy the awkwardness of the grocery store checkout is awesome seeing as how it can be awfully dreadful and awkward when you’re not “on” and either are completely blank or just even more awkward than usual. Interactions of all kind are the bane of my existence as an INFJ tbh because of this very social skills thing. But making peace with my awkwardness by learning to not take myself seriously is a journey you seem to be on already and starting on mine surely but slowly over here too 😅🙌🏾
@@ketsial5669 Was Steve not just 💯??? I love that INFJ’s know we are awkward but our need to be nice and uplift people surpasses our fear of our awkwardness so we will muster the strength to put ourselves out there and interact… INFJ’s are so amazing!
We come into our FE later. It takes a while. We actually are very shy and socially awkward, internally, when we are young. We are not autistic, it simply takes time to develop the FE for the INFJ. It is completely normal, we are late bloomers. I never raised my hand in class, not even once, until I was 17. I blew up in college, and was so popular, It was totally surreal, and a bit of a mind-fuk. Eventually I found my balance. I became a professor, and was also, the most highly evaluated faculty in my department, at every school where I taught. But I was never comfortable in assuming this would be the case. Never. I always remembered how isolated and alone I felt as a kid, and as a teen, and so, I never take it for granted. We are great speakers, actually, and rather charming.
Glad you found it relatable! As far as improving social skills, it’s hard to say because I’m not great at social skills myself… but I just try to remember that not everyone is compatible with me socially and that’s okay… but what is more important than social skills and what I must always remember is that we must always speak kindly, respectfully and genuinely… and then regardless of if we have the perfect social skills or not, we will draw in the right people. I hope that’s helpful?
I’m glad my videos are insightful! As far as INFJ’s being gifted, I think everyone is gifted in their own way and it doesn’t have anything to do with our MBTI type. I think everyone should find themselves special and identify themselves apart from their MBTI.
This is such a great video, I felt as it was so relatable. Definitely got some good pointers with how I interact with other as an Infj. I’m working really hard on socializing and getting out of my upbringing of being anti-social. It’s a great Adventure and I’m enjoying the self discovery I’m embarking on! Thank you for this video! :D
Very well said. The biggest INFJ quirk that I've been working on recently is learning how to speak as fluidly as I type. I can be a good speaker in front of a crowd, but speaking to people 1-on-1 when I'm not feeling "on" or fully comfortable can be a...messy experience. 😅
Yes!!!!! Exactly what you said! INFJ’s can do well in monologue but if only we were that good in dialogue as well.
Great stuff, listened to the whole thing. Yes, a few others have referenced the overlays of infj, autism spectrum, hsp, etc. Good call there : ) We infj are multi faceted for sure. As for social interactions I'm usually silently calibrating how self aware others are, so I can guage the level of potential mutual alignment. And almost no eye contact while I talk and think, the eyes just go wherever, on their own. Then "care-bear-stare" while in listen mode, ha.
As for small talk, I'm actually ok but I can't hang out there. I do like the little awkwardness at the grocery store checkout, and usually make a couple jokes, to make somebody's day a little brighter. It is quite isolating though when so few seem to be able to see the layers and patterns of behaviors and life in general. Also, yes written vs. spoken, ugh! I speak like someone who learned English as a second language, as a first language, ha! . . . glitch . . glitch. . . : )
Wouldn't trade it for any other type, even with all the challenges that go with it.
Wowwwwww! Just wow! Spoken like a true INFJ! You worded it so well. Others have called it being a “social chameleon” but silently calibrating others is such a good way of putting it too! It’s so important for us to know how others are feeling and what wavelength they’re on so that we can meet them where they are and maintain the harmony… so do you find that you have insecurities in social situations? And what in particular brings it about? I.e., for me, I fear I’m really unopinionated and people find me bland and uninteresting.
Just wanted to jump in here real quick if I can.. hey ya’ll 🤗 & shout-out to you Steve for the spot on description of our INFJ tendencies.. it’s so crazy to me that we’re all the same person omg lol. And to hear that you’ve come to enjoy the awkwardness of the grocery store checkout is awesome seeing as how it can be awfully dreadful and awkward when you’re not “on” and either are completely blank or just even more awkward than usual. Interactions of all kind are the bane of my existence as an INFJ tbh because of this very social skills thing. But making peace with my awkwardness by learning to not take myself seriously is a journey you seem to be on already and starting on mine surely but slowly over here too 😅🙌🏾
@@ketsial5669 Was Steve not just 💯??? I love that INFJ’s know we are awkward but our need to be nice and uplift people surpasses our fear of our awkwardness so we will muster the strength to put ourselves out there and interact… INFJ’s are so amazing!
We come into our FE later. It takes a while. We actually are very shy and socially awkward, internally, when we are young. We are not autistic, it simply takes time to develop the FE for the INFJ. It is completely normal, we are late bloomers. I never raised my hand in class, not even once, until I was 17. I blew up in college, and was so popular, It was totally surreal, and a bit of a mind-fuk. Eventually I found my balance. I became a professor, and was also, the most highly evaluated faculty in my department, at every school where I taught. But I was never comfortable in assuming this would be the case. Never. I always remembered how isolated and alone I felt as a kid, and as a teen, and so, I never take it for granted. We are great speakers, actually, and rather charming.
I relate so much to what you said in this video. Any idea how to improve social skills as an INFJ?
Glad you found it relatable! As far as improving social skills, it’s hard to say because I’m not great at social skills myself… but I just try to remember that not everyone is compatible with me socially and that’s okay… but what is more important than social skills and what I must always remember is that we must always speak kindly, respectfully and genuinely… and then regardless of if we have the perfect social skills or not, we will draw in the right people. I hope that’s helpful?
I learn a lot from your video's about myself. Do you think infj's could also be highly gifted?
I’m glad my videos are insightful! As far as INFJ’s being gifted, I think everyone is gifted in their own way and it doesn’t have anything to do with our MBTI type. I think everyone should find themselves special and identify themselves apart from their MBTI.
All I see is the words (Blue Hawaii.)