My Husband Hit Me For The First Time | Paul Friedman

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  • Опубликовано: 1 апр 2021
  • You have probably not been married very long or your husband has started drinking or using some other substance and he is losing his mind. I don't know how else to put it. Now I have to tell you that it is not our philosophy to condemn a spouse. This is very much outside of our normal box typically because we encourage working on the marriage to make it a positive experience. But in a case like this, you've got a serious problem. Your problem is that your husband is not acting like a protector and the subconscious mind which carries so much information but one of the things that the subconscious mind carries is information from the biology. Your psychology is affected by your Biology and men are designed so to speak to be protectors of the family. So when they use that strength that a man has because a man is obviously stronger physically than a woman, and if he uses that strength, he's doing the opposite of what he's supposed to do. I don't know how long you've been married. I don't know how hard he hit you and I don't know that it matters that much unless he hits you by mistake but you're really mad and so that's why you're searching these videos.
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Комментарии • 34

  • @TheMarriageFoundation
    @TheMarriageFoundation  3 года назад +4

    Sincere and determined people also need truthful information and a good plan to escape the cycle and hole you are in. Incredible marriages ARE possible. They are achieved by
    1. Learning about the mind and mastering it so your changes are permanent and you are always growing.
    2. Learning how to behave, and not behave in marriage friendly ways
    3. Making unconditional love and ever-expanding happiness your primary and constant missions.
    Go to our website and get the course(s) if you need them. Now is not the time to experiment. It is the time for positive action. themarriagefoundation.org/
    Please hit the like button above and comment for the algorithm. Also, see the links in the description. Thanks!

  • @gloriapatri5257
    @gloriapatri5257 Год назад +11

    You don’t know how much this video helped me. It probably saved my life. Thank you so much. I took your advise from this two years ago, and got out, and yes it happened in the first year. It was the best thing I could have done.

  • @gloriapatri5257
    @gloriapatri5257 3 года назад +11

    Thank you so much for this. Your correct on all points. It’s not right and a very bad sign for a man to hit a woman.

  • @saminamoynul9697
    @saminamoynul9697 2 года назад +14

    I like how you are so clear with your words. It was great to listen. First time when my partner hit me my mothers words were healing for me. We need to acknowledge the fact that the victim is traumatised by the incident for life but unfortunately so many people don't. They say if he hits you by mistake and says sorry you should forgive. Otherwise you will regret later. I even heard from people that they rather hit by their partner then he cheats. Yes I agree with you if your partner hit you once he most likely hit you again. And I did lost that sense of security from him. By the way I'm divorced and happy with my three kids now. Still healing but happy that I survived. Thank you so much for video.

  • @kathrynhardin2840
    @kathrynhardin2840 Год назад +3

    Thank you for this.

  • @madiashley42
    @madiashley42 Год назад +17

    I’m currently 8 months pregnant, on our way home from church I was playing around and poked his face, (which I’ve done before in the past, and used to do it to my brother to annoy him) he then with a closed fist, hit my stomach, not full force, but not light either. I told him not to do that, and he then poked my face, imitating what I did to him, but did it so hard that it left a bruise. I then cried the rest of the way home, and he never apologized. Idk what to do, I grew up being abused by my step father, and this was extremely triggering to me. I don’t want to tell family, or tell anyone close to us, because we’ve always had a great marriage. We communicate, we hardly ever fight, if we do it’s more of a discussion, he’s never shown any red flags when it comes to any type of abuse

    • @TheMarriageFoundation
      @TheMarriageFoundation  Год назад +7

      I never reply to complaint comments about a spouse but because you are pregnant I want you to look into the course for women. I will not explain why other than the course is for those marriages is heading toward disaster/divorce. themarriagefoundation.org/

    • @madiashley42
      @madiashley42 Год назад

      @@TheMarriageFoundation thank you, I will definitely look into this

    • @amitragjmv8677
      @amitragjmv8677 Год назад +1

      Sorry to hear this..same here my step father abused me ..now my husband abusing me and all my exs..I think men don't like me am leaving dem alone ..

    • @jdenino6022
      @jdenino6022 8 месяцев назад +7

      This is not normal for a man to hit his pregnant wife in the stomach.😢

    • @suzannawable
      @suzannawable 6 месяцев назад

      He's wrong to do that but you're not very right either to poke that way it ain't funny. And he obviously doesn't like it. Don't start a fight if you don't want to fight.

  • @kenroybailey1761
    @kenroybailey1761 2 года назад +4

    I agree with you 100% this I can learn from

  • @bakeandcookwithhabibaj5317
    @bakeandcookwithhabibaj5317 3 года назад +3

    Sorry for my English ,,I m just alone here with my kids

  • @ThisisaConspiracy
    @ThisisaConspiracy 2 месяца назад

    I don’t what to do my wife is verbally and physically abusive. She ripped the door off my room after I moved out of our bedroom. She started throwing the door fragments at me while I was holding my daughter and this isn’t the first time. I tried to set bounderies and express that we can’t fight infront of our kids , she can’t get physical or abusive to me and she got physical and I lashed out . To protect my daughter who was in my arms and defend myself. I don’t know why I have guilt for defending myself.

    • @TheMarriageFoundation
      @TheMarriageFoundation  2 месяца назад +1

      Your marriage is a mess! get the course for men. It will change everything for the better...some say "yea but this is extreme" . So, make extreme effort, but the right kind of effort, which is what I can teach you get the course!

  • @SummerJeanBee
    @SummerJeanBee Год назад +1

    thank you..

  • @analisbrady6207
    @analisbrady6207 2 месяца назад

    Thank you for this video. Not a lot of videos for victims to watch thank you a millions times.

    • @TheMarriageFoundation
      @TheMarriageFoundation  2 месяца назад

      You are welcome and I pray for you finding your way to happiness and love in your marriage 🙏

  • @hollymacdougall6970
    @hollymacdougall6970 8 месяцев назад +1

    Can you do a video for women who have hit their husband?

  • @TheThreekeys
    @TheThreekeys Месяц назад

    I’ve been married for 37 years. 12 yrs ago he beat me. He came from behind. I’d just had surgery-totally incapacitated to defend myself in any way. I now have PTSD. We’re still married, but we just went over divorce papers for the 3rd time. He got that first “taste of blood” and now he cannot control his off and on desire for it. It’s so so horribly sad. We used to be so happy.

    • @TheMarriageFoundation
      @TheMarriageFoundation  Месяц назад

      Get the courses and forget the divorces

    • @TheThreekeys
      @TheThreekeys Месяц назад

      @@TheMarriageFoundation Perhaps you did not read all of my post. He’s been hitting me, maligning me, lying to me for 12 years now. He’s been secretly abusive to our grandchildren. He’s a porn addict.
      When I say addict, I mean it. He can send me lovely responses to my messages containing photos of our beautiful grandchildren and when I see what time he was masturbating to porn on his laptop they’re within minutes of each other. He’s so sick. I’m only enabling him. He must hit rock bottom.

    • @TheMarriageFoundation
      @TheMarriageFoundation  Месяц назад

      I read your entire message and cannot help but feel badly for you but I also cannot help but know that you do not need me to condemn your husband, either. The course for women will help you heal within and find joy. It will not change your husband, only he can do that. But it WILL help you so much.

    • @TheThreekeys
      @TheThreekeys Месяц назад

      @@TheMarriageFoundationof course, it’s no help to me to have someone else say what I’ve most likely felt and said myself. I have contacted a place to get help for myself. Not only is he violent, he’s a porn addict. Literally. He cannot stop. He’s been attending, via zoom, SA group meetings (sex addict) meetings for 20 months. He’s only gotten worse. Even with the group’s recommended porn blocking software on his iPhone, iPad and desk-top. I hear him on these meetings lying to all of these men telling them how he’s “sober” and doing well-even encouraging the men younger than himself. It’s pretty disgusting. I was very hopeful a while back. I went to our office - we have a very lucrative professional business - to run a few things to him and to take him to get lunch. I even dressed up so I’d look nice for him. I opened his office door only to find him watching porn at his desk with his pants partially down, genitals exposed and masturbating. He didn’t even behave remorsefully. I just sat down in a chair and cried. I have rarely denied him sex. Maybe 5 times in 37 yrs of marriage. I used to be giddy in love with him. So happy and proud to be his wife. We have fantastic kids and several precious gorgeous grandchildren. I’ve arrived at a place where I cannot have peace in my life living with this toxic life he’s chosen over me. I told him last night he must leave. I told him I’m taking the porn blocking apps off of my phone and I will no longer be his “accountability partner” or “helpful guardian”; he can do whatever he wishes. I’ve given him to the Lord for which to deal.

    • @TheMarriageFoundation
      @TheMarriageFoundation  Месяц назад

      I agree that those "cures" are hotbeds for everything but a cure because of all my exposure to them through clients. It is sad. However, that being the case is not the point and even though you think you have loved him unconditionally, and may have indeed done so, the proof of that unconditional love does not show in your messages. Unconditional love does not show itself in giving sex or being giddy. It shows itself in soul manifestations, like compassion, understanding, tolerence, and loyalty, and without hesitation. This situation you are in is YOUR opportunity to cultivate love for your husband, not with expectations of him "coming around" but just because you love him and are committed to him.

  • @dancing0nthe3dge
    @dancing0nthe3dge 2 года назад +2

    Hi, my husband and I have been together for 10 years, married for six, we have a three and a half year old son and a few days ago he put his hands on you for the first time. I need advice?

    • @TheMarriageFoundation
      @TheMarriageFoundation  2 года назад +2

      For more than the general info I gave in the video we are hard presses to do anything other than suggest that you can choose to go to the authorities, or his parents. You can also write to our counselors if you think you can help matters with changes on your part. themarriagefoundation.org/free-marriage-help/

  • @dynagrant6203
    @dynagrant6203 2 года назад +5

    What if you hit him first?

    • @TheMarriageFoundation
      @TheMarriageFoundation  2 года назад +8

      Not that uncommon! Please, don't hit him again, ever. Learn to love him.

    • @tjc2824
      @tjc2824 11 месяцев назад +1

      Duh!! That's why he hit you!!!! Keep your damn hands to yourself!!!

  • @coachpetero312
    @coachpetero312 Год назад

    Thank you for this.