Social anxiety feels like a mental prison even though the prison doors are open and we are free to walk out The mental barrier feels so real and terrifying.
Omggggg the amount of times ive told myself how im in a prison yet the door is open to leave yet im stuck! Wow great minds think alike!! Its the best way to describe the struggle!!!!
So true, I found that even when trying to fight it, it manifest itself through other weird behaviors, like if I force myself to maintain eye contact when I want to look away, my eye will start twitching, or my mouth will shake uncontrollably. I want to fight it, I want to beat this, I pray about it daily. Praying for all of you too🙏🏿
@@anitha_kannan Am 36 and Still locked in this mental prison..I have so much dreams but I cant seem to mustard up the right mindset to take on the task.. The sad thing about is everybody thinks I am cool or I am crazy..lol
Omgg im so sorry you are experiencing both SA and having a low self esteem!! It can be a nightmare! I really hope that your situation gradually does get better and one day you will be able to have a beautifiul relatiomship without SA affecting it or the partner maybe able to completely support you💚
@subhuman africancel you only get a low self esteem when you try and tell yourself you're uglier than you actually are. if you keep it real, you're in good hands.
I feel like it’s easier for a woman with social anxiety to be in a relationship with a man because a man that displays charisma & confidence attracts them & the man would have no problem to keep the interest alive but when it’s a man with social anxiety it’s even harder because us as men we are expected to be confident & know how to make a move. I too have to pretend I don’t have social anxiety & it worked (for a while) then my insecurities kick in & I start to overthink whether im too boring or im not good enough & then I sabotage myself & ruin it. It’s a turn off for women & it’s really hard for me to date. People tell me im handsome but once they meet me they get turned off cause of my shyness & they look at me & expect me to be a confident smooth talker. I sometimes smoke weed or take shots of alcohol before going on a date to let myself loosen up but it’s bad that I have to depend on it to even socialize. I’ve honestly been single since 2017. It’s sad. I also want to add that I deal with a lot of insecurities & I also have low self esteem issues. Kind of relieving to see there are beautiful girls like you that deal with SA 🙂
A girl can literally say nothing in a relationship and the man won't care. Social anxiety will have little to no affect on a woman's ability to date. It's definitely not the other way around. A woman can stand there get approached and no matter what they say or don't say they'll still be desired. Actually, I would say a silent woman is more desirable to men than an outgoing woman. I certainly favor it. A man would much rather a woman just talk to him than socialize with a bunch of guys.
communist rat stfu this isn’t an issue that only applies to women, he just wanted to share his experience/opinion and he literally said it was relieving to see that there are beautiful girls like her who deal with social anxiety too.
@@angelina-aisha im sure he didnt mean to be invalidating but a lot of men that struggle with SAD share his opinion and it needs to stop women do not have it easier than men when it comes to dating with anxiety I would contend that anxious women often attract manipulative men and are at much higher risk to end up in a toxic relationship. Insecure girls are in general much more likely to be targeted by predators. in social situations its acceptable for men to be silent and seemingly stoic on the surface while women are expected to always be warm and bubbly ive just seen the opinion that women with social issues somehow have it easier compared to men dominating on every related forum and girls saying "hey actually it doesnt matter how many guys i attract i still cant date them because of anxiety etc" being shut down just hope guys realize that men and women with social anxiety all have their unique struggles when it comes to existing in this world also this is mostly @Bane
Something I learned from my speech teacher in college is that we are all really good actors. We are able to hide our feelings in situations where we feel we need to. Part of breaking through social anxiety is pushing yourself to face your fears. Sometimes you have to fake it till you make it. Overtime certain things will become easier if you just push yourself and try your best to practice confidence. I know it’s hard, but it is so freeing to overcome the little fears that flood your mind with anxiety.
I feel like she's just brutally honest though...Why push yourself? Why act? Why fake it? Why hide? Why pretend? Her view of the world is REAL, not bad nor beautiful. Life comes with the ugly truth, inconveniences, natural discomfort...LOL!
I have completely stopped dating also. It's just too stressful. It's a constant worry. I think you are so brave to do these videos. I stopped making mine because my anxiety and then depression has been so high lately. But your strength gives me motivation to at least try. You are beautiful by the way.
Hey hun!! Youre in a similiar sitch as me... i feeel you!! It can be quite stressful tbh!! And your so brave to just tell me your side of things, i really appreciate the openness🧡 i would love to see your videos, that would be amazing!! Im so sorry youre going through a tough time, you are a warrior KEEP STAYING STRONG!! Im here for you if u ever need ❤️ god bless you carrie!
Hi. I'm the girl that has all the anxiety but still wants to make RUclips videos to get the awareness out there of anxiety and depression and the effects of it. I really like you and I respect you greatly for making these videos. Would you mind being friends via email? If you want to my email address is Celica_622@yahoo.com. I would like to have someone that is dealing with the same stuff to talk about what kind of videos I should do and video ideas. Let me know.
It's so refreshing to hear someone my age say they also have no friends. I feel like a complete freak! I sent you an email a while ago btw but never got a reply
Hey georgous!! 🥰 You arent a freak at all, youre an inspiration especially after reading your articles ❤️ I have just replied, my fault!!!! Hope to hear from u soon xxxooxox
This is so sad. You’re such a beautiful and well spoken girl, you have such a sweet disposition. I’m sorry you have to go through that. I experience social anxiety and insecurities too so I can definitely relate, especially hiding the belly part :(
I’ve suffered with severe social anxiety all my life. It got worse when I turned 13 and started blushing. Before that I could at least act like I was more confident but when you blush then everybody knows. I got offered an interview for my dream job and couldn’t go for fear of blushing. As for dating it’s one of my biggest fears- I always have to get half drunk before I go on the date but when I get there I literally can’t speak, I will basically just be mute. I also hate eating in front of people as I’m so self conscious so dinner is a no no and ordering the food is just an ordeal in itself. Ive had 2 relationships but I can never be myself fully around those people and always end up being reserved and feel like I have nothing interesting to say because I don’t do much and then just constantly wonder why this person is with me because I have nothing to offer them apart from my love. I constantly feel inferior to everybody and apologetic for being alive. I can only be my true self around my family and a few friends. It really is soul destroying. I have to watch everybody living out their lives doing all the things I wish I could but I’m just stuck. I know you won’t believe me but you are incredibly naturally beautiful and seem like such a sweet and genuine person. Thank you for making me feel not so alone.
Girl, I'm exactly like you, literally, it's like you wrote about me and not yourself. Blushing (I'm always covering myself up with loads of concealer before the date), getting tipsy before, not being able to talk, because I can't think of anything to say.. plus the minute I open my mouth I just say some stupid shallow shi*, cause my brain stops working so I can't talk about more serious stuff (and I cry whenever I talk about my feelings so I don't even wanna take that risk on a date..). It's exactly what you've written - I feel like I have nothing to offer apart from love. Literally NOTHING. To the point that when I see someone's taking interest in me I'm starting to wonder what's wrong with them. Cause I believe that no normal guy would've ever want to be with someone like me. It's tough as hell, I gave up on dating few years ago and haven't done it ever since.. And now I'm watching all those videos about SA, because I met someone online and he wants to meet. And I'm terrified. I thought those videos could help but I'm not so sure about that anymore :P
uneFemme Sorry to hear that girl! Being like me is tough! I feel you with the not being able to think of anything to say, and then when you do your voice sounds alien to you and you over analyse everything thinking how stupid you sounded. I think it’s just a major fear of someone thinking something negative about you. It’s the worst, like being a prisoner in York own body. It’s great that you met someone! You should 100% meet them! Think of some things to say and ask in advance and just remember if they are truly nice person they will understand! It wouldn’t put me off someone if they were shy! You go girl, you got this!
@@meganimal8 aw thank you, that's so sweet! Yeah, it feels exactly like being a prisoner in your own body. It's the most frustrating thing not being able to just be yourself in front of others. But oh well, just to let you know I took your advice and met the guy, fortunately he's very easy-going and talkative, so there wasn't any awkward silence.. So yeah, it wasn't a disaster like I imagined it to be!
i also feel sorry for other people because I'm plain boring and uninteresting. I literally don't do anything but stay in my room studying and watching videos. Others have fun stories to tell, jokes, secrets and i have none of that so i feel like people talk to me out of pity. 😟
Im so sorry youre experiencing SA!! I hope you are coping okay, its definitely a struggle, i know you will get through this, it wont be perfect, but gradually it will improve! Youre a warrior 🧡
The candidness you display on youtube is always a massive encouragement for ppl like us. It makes me feel less lonely, more understood and connected :'D. Not making generalizations here, but sometimes I feel that ppl like us may be more introspective and self-evaluating than the masses. I.e we examine our flaws profoundly and repeatedly and share them with ppl whom we are comfortable with being vulnerable. Therefore, in regards to friendship, I feel like putting it this way: it's so much harder for us to make friends because we know so much more about ourselves and the human nature (hence many of us suffer a bit from misanthropy as well). Quite often, I see human hubris priding itself for having the potential for greatness and innovation that surpasses every other species. However, while I do acknowledge our unlimited capacity for good, I am also familiar with the other end of the spectrum, the one where we display the capacity for being the worst and the most destructive. As such we might not be the best of all species but the most extreme. So sometimes I think all of this is about balance: while too much self-esteem can lead to the aforementioned hubris, too little paves the way for diffidence, which might be what leads to social anxiety and low self-esteem. It's interesting to mention how both of these extremes are tunnel-visioned: in extreme ends, the former sees its unlimited potential without its flaws, whereas the latter may be mired down by flaws that do or do not exist. Naturally, it's mostly the former's voices & ambitions that are roaming about the globe as they are boisterous and reverberating, while the latter either tends to be rather timid or sometimes even deliberately muffling themselves up. With the increase of psychological illnesses, metabolic diseases, and sociopathy, I tend to see these new-age aberrations as symptoms of the progressively polarizing nature of the aforementioned tunnel-visions. However, I do not see things always been this way, quite evidently speaking. Thus I'd like to conjecture how technology and its development immensely contributes to this anomaly. Note that this is not a propagation of Luddite philosophy but simply a criticism towards the lack of proper scrutiny over technological development. To put it simply, humans have always idolized convenience, security, comfort and perpetuity, so much so that we've been and still are in constant development to further the effects of these aspects in life. And because it works, though at many costs, we, too, idolize the tool which realized these "dreams". And this tool might not be so much technology in general but science per see - the observation, duplication and exploitation of reproducible patterns. We cannot deny how much we've enjoyed our technologies thus far. Nonetheless, amidst these godlike conveniences and etc. we tend to overlook how incredibly overwhelmed we are by these contraptions of ours, as technology doesn't only augment/speed up our desires but it speeds up everything - everything that is good or bad, and of course the bad predominates its counterpart. It can render something as small as a harmless gossip/private matter that would normally be buffered in a slow/naturally-paced society(thanks to human forgetfulness and with them being preoccupied with real-life matters off the internet) into becoming distorted, megaphoned, meme-ed, accentuated, and even stored in the cyber-abyss. That was only one and very minor example. Here's another one, how the expectations that arise from the speed, convenience and instantaneousness of communication can lead to the unintended stress of people in one or all social-circles. Albeit many are already starting to talk about it, and even Elon Musk is in fear of the development of AI tech, its overwhelmingness is still too underrated and unfathomed. Our capacity to handle information as humans have always been the same, and the only difference between today's humans and our ancestral homo sapiens is the type of information that we handle. Our ancestors handled info that helped them live in the wild while ours help us survive in today's "wild". In other words, we are not technically "smarter", we just possess a different set of info/tools that is required in a different environment. With this in mind, we can now understand how we are overwhelmed by today's deluge of information. In layman terms, we handle information with both rationality and emotionality at all times, sometimes one more than the other(e.g mathematics) but in no instances is either one ever totally excluded. It's also important to point out that rationality and emotionality may be how info is registered in our brain, but the medium via which this info is stored involves all of our senses e.g touch, taste, hearing, smelling, sight, proprioception and many others that are still not fully understood by scientists. One can also imagine info being partially stored in these senses.(Ofc, there are also mediums like "habits" but we'll not get into that) Now, in order to manage more info than we can handle by default, we use tools in the same way our ancestors have always done. In the past, they use tablets, knots, paintings, symbols, calendars and etc. yet today we aren't too different either...except having our analogues receiving a digital(or even a quantum) boost. From a glance, not only is it not a problem but a sign of superiority. But on a closer look, there are many costs to these info-storage-proxies, one particular one is that they rarely if ever incorporate our senses, hence today's downplay on our senses' potential usage unless predisposing factors are involved such as a handicap. Another cost is that they are not really good at storing the emotionality-half of the information. Sure, reading a letter/diary or even watching a video can bring out tears of sorrow or joy, but its authenticity is still far from being comparable to the interaction with the actual person/people/thing/place that invoked the reminiscence. I know that was a relatively poor analogy but the point I am trying to make here is that the emotionality and sensual aspect of info is always compromised when being stored in our info-storing-tools. In other words, a significant part of reality is lost in this translation and this is a problem because it actually affects our tether with reality. Indeed, the loss of a small amount is actually still manageable due to our spectacular capacity for imagination and creativity hence the importance of reading books, writing stuff down, and getting ourselves involved with artistic things. However, if lost in bulk on a daily basis, then it can lead to what people describe as "reality-crisis". If that doesn't happen, a person can become robotic and lacklustre as seen in many first-world countries with impending/existing psychological issues and relationship problems. The adage "everything in moderation" is definitely something that we need to take heed to solve this shebang on an individual scale. Fortunately, we can already observe this phenomenon with the niche but popularizing lifestyles that value simplicity over the obsessions of technological conveniences: minimalism, tiny houses, off-the-grid living, boathouses, permaculture and etc. Intriguingly, many of these lifestyles take a course towards the natural "wild" where our ancestors once lived in and having to adopt many of their forgotten "knowledge". It is almost like we are wired to heal ourselves in a certain way(maybe we are). I believe there is a part of us that craves balance but lacks the courage to realize it To wrap it up, I would opine that technology(i.e propaganda) actually polarizes our differences in personality whereas under natural circumstances, where things are slower-paced and interactions more real-life oriented, our predilections can actually keep each other in check: the recklessly ambitious not too ambitious, but more caring of their surroundings, with the timid and anxious being more heard and appreciated for their sharp observation and candidness. Hopefully, more humility, in general, will be at play. And with fewer ppl overloaded with info, ppl may be less tunnel-visioned and more open-minded. Sorry for the tl;dr but your video inspired me to...share this :'D (I guess I thought it'd be helpful) All in all, I really admire your bravery for sharing your stories with us :) It's truly a sign of hope, keep it up!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW! I SERIOUSLY do not have any words to describe how AMAZING this is.... oh my goodness this is exactly the kind of messages I want to be reading, ive learnt so much from what you just said and it gives me goosebumps knowing someone else is able to see through all the "brainwash" and society cr**!! You, my friend, are something else. Im so curious to know what kind of experiences you went through to be able to realise all of what you wrote! I actually read this a few times, because each time I read it i found myself connecting more and more to what you were saying.... Im so grateful for you, and that you found my video!! You are truly amazing, wow, im speechless! THANKYOUU a billion times 🙌 people like you give me hope, that there are deep, wise incredible souls out there who actually think differently, what a blessing! I hope you are doing well, god bless you 💜💜💜💜💜
You are insanely beautiful. I am going through this right now, it's awful. Hope you are feeling better, putting love and positive vibes out there in the universe for you :-)
My version of dating was opening an app, getting a decent amount of matches, apologizing and then deleting the profile as to avoid a physical interaction.
Honestly i'm in highschool and I have no friends...and everything you say makes me feel like I'm not so "lonely" i guess but you give me hope lol and I thank you for that, I relate to you on a SPIRITUAL LEVEL, i relate to everything it's crazy lol
Thank you for having the courage to start making videos! Knowing that someone as beautiful and humble as you is going through similar things as me is so comforting and encouraging 💚💛
Hey love!! 🥰 It was such a weird phase in my life, Ive come very far with inner work/growth! Theres so many things that destroys a person's self esteem, but im so glad I just ignore all the negative cr**! Hope youre well, and thankyou for taking the time to watch this love 💜 xx
Yeah, like Audrey Hepburn! She’s about the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in MY LIFE, and I am pretty straight! But she never believed she was attractive.
I think I have this too. Others tell me I'm incredibly attractive but I genuinely believe I'm SO ugly and unattractive. I'm 23 and never had a serious relationship and just feel like there is something severely wrong with my appearance and no one will ever fall in love with me.
Thanks for sharing your experience! Everything you mentioned was very relatable to me and I appreciate knowing I am not the only one who struggles with these problems. also you are beautiful! A bit about my experience- The last boyfriend I had was 6 years ago (I am 23), and I am just now acknowledging how my SA and low self-esteem really played a major role in our relationship. I had the same thoughts of thinking he thought every girl was prettier or smarter than me and that I was never enough. I worried and stressed about it constantly every day yet I kept it to myself. I couldn't speak up about those inner feelings because of the SA. ...I have been single since, trying to date. But the ones I see myself liking I always ruin with my anxiety. also the fact that my ex broke up with me over text for HIS ex probably didn't help with my self-esteem and trust now. but here's too trying to heal & better ourselves
Hey beautiful!! I am so glad you were able to relate to the struggles mentioned here, makes me feel less alone and understood :') Oh wow I'm also 23 and my last relationship was 5 years ago (very similar)! But I completely understand how you must have felt especially because you couldnt be completely open with him because of your SA. Im so sorry you had to experience so much worry! Im sure you will definitely find someone soon (and i pray he will be a gentleman and understanding)! And your ex broke up with you over TEXT?! thats pathetic of him, as if! That would have broke you :/ YOU deserve to be treated like the queen you are hun
Interesting, I’ve gotten into a few relationships with severe social anxiety. And my social anxiety definitely affected my lack of closeness with my partners because I always had social anxiety around my boyfriends. But mainly the reason I got into these relationships wasn’t because I was remotely ready, in fact I was terrified of getting close with a man, but for the reason of trying to improve myself and learn something from the experience because oftentimes social anxiety shelters us by default or makes us go to another extreme of being a party animal to overcompensate.
Its so good to read your experience being in relationships!! Its so interesting to see how SA can affect everyone different with relationships! But its awesome that you put yourself out there and gave the whole “relationship” thing a shot! So much courage!! 💪🏽😍❤️
That's exactly what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of having social anxiety around my future partner. If I can't be comfortable around my own boyfriend in the future, what's the point of getting into a relationship in the first place? I'm 21 so I feel like I need to start thinking about going on dates at least, but sometimes I just can't get myself to go out the house, let alone talk to a guy. At the moment I'm having a friend stay over, due to her difficult circumstances, and I can't even get myself to be fully comfortable around her. The only people I feel comfortable with is my immediate family whom I live with. I don't see myself living with a partner anytime soon :(
Yeah but that's because since you're a woman, you don't have to do anything in terms of making a relationship happen or start because you don't have to do the pursuing or courting
Its tough having SA in a relationship....I used to take shots of liquor while my girl would be in the shower before we went out for a night....to calm me down...smh...SA makes everything difficult Btw you have nothing to be self conscious about...your beautiful and I'm sure your stomach and backside are great too! Its always worse in our own mind.
Oh man, that sounds horrible but i can completely understand why you had to take shots!! I remember i had a phase where i was trying to improve SA by going to social events and did the same thing- so sorry u had to go through that :/ hope youre okay!! And thanks so much, yeah i agree the mind can be so evil !! Thanks for sharing 🧡☺️
Lol been there pretending that I am “normal” and don’t have social anxiety on dates. I’m working on self love because I’ve realized that I don’t like me and I’m projecting it on other people.
you are so courageous for making this video and being open - you are already making such amazing steps to become a more confident version of yourself. and you are gorgeous. you have absolutely nothing to worry about and you're stunning
How can a gorgeous model like you think she’s unattractive? There is nothing ugly about you! And I’m not just saying it to make you feel better, I genuinely mean it. You are a true beauty 😍
OMG😊you made me blush a bit, im definitely no model, but wow THANKYOU- youre an absolute sweetheart! I hope you are doing well, definitely will not forget this comment 💜
Wow Kaizo..Your comment is upsetting and disappointing! It doesnt hurt me at all, but so disheartening to see you cant see my geniuine pain and struggles that Im trying to express. Your words dont phase me, but Im not here to argue or explain anything to someone who thinks what you think and will never understand what I feel! God bless you still...
I dated a girl that had similar issues. It was tough. She was gorgeous too but there's no amount of reassurance you can give to someone that lacks that self-esteem. I hope you are someday able to be free of those things holding you back.
It's refreshing to hear your brutal honesty...Why fluff things up or push yourself? Why act? Why fake it? Why hide? Why pretend? Your view of the world is REAL, not bad nor beautiful. Life comes with the ugly truth, inconveniences, natural discomfort, etc...LOL! You call it how it is. It's just not socially acceptable to be this honest and view it as a norm. I like that you just don't bother with the inconveniences and say no.
I came across your video after seeing your story featured on BBC and how you met your Partner after he responded to your video. I am really touched by your story. Social anxiety is an affliction that affects many people from time to time, some more than others. How often do people get tongue-tied and are unable to respond to small talk or sarcasm until after the event when it occurs to them exactly how they should have responded. But it is not a mental disorder, just something to be aware of and to work ourselves slowly out of the tunnel and into the light by deliberately putting ourselves out of our comfort zones as much as possible. In the end, we have to realise that people don’t really care that much about other people’s worries about their bodies. As a matter of fact, like in your case, you may see your tummy as ugly and gross but others may see you as a well rounded woman and very admirable!! And in the end, it does not really matter what other people think given that there will always be people on both sides:- heavy admirers and heavy haters. So, learn to leave all alone and live your life understanding that people have got so many of their problems that they don’t really have time to care about yours as much as you might think they do. And just to say, there is nothing you said in the video that was disturbing, even the very personal part on sex was just marvellously honest, open and inspiring. Thank you Anitha.
Man it's so strange what the brain can do, like I can't believe you look at yourself in a different way from what I see when I look at you. You're really beautiful. I'm a girl and I also have a low self esteem but not to this point I guess. Since a lot of people agree with me in that you're beautiful I hope it changes a little bit the way you view yourself. You have such beauty and genuineness. You can do a lot of things, I hope you get to model, to travel, to meet new people, to love yourself, to not be self conscious and to learn to forget (because that's one of the primary reasons we get low self esteem). And I hope this RUclips thing helps you! It's a great step forward!
your theory isn't destroyed. There are exceptions in everything. Being beautiful has a high correlation with high self esteem. Your argument if true would mean no theory is correct since there are exceptions in everything.
My conclusion is that having low self-esteem is more psychological than it is dependent on beauty , wealth or status. Just like body dysmorphism , beautiful people suffer too.
@@bo_gee5390 that doesn't even make sense. Everything is psychological, beauty wealth etc is what determines your psychological profile. Your point is wrong. A person that is beautiful from childhood will be treated with perks, given free things let off for doing bad things and generally they develop the halo effect (generally meaning most people there are always exceptions), this girl in particular is an exception not a rule... hence these attributes such as wealth especially if they have had it since childhood during the years before 7 years old is when your ego, and other attributes of your brain develops then affects your psychological profile into adulthood.
@@bo_gee5390 no it's not on your upbringing. It's dependent on everything, the parents (upbringing, ) the environment, how everyone else treats you in response to your person and how you feel and introspect about how the world think about you. Also you are wrong. Statistically, do you know what that term means? it means 90 out of 100 beautiful people compared to 100 so called ugly people, most of the good looking people will not be as insecure about themselves. lol. SO NO YOU ARE WRONG.
Thank you for having the courage to be open and honest. I am a man, and can relate to a lot of what you say. I am able to be social, but I've become more and more reclusive. I know that's not the same as what you're saying, but your honesty gives me strength. I way prefer to be alone these days. I hope that you are able to protect your energy. And I think it's good to only do what you are ok with doing. Not to force your self bc of what may or may not be 'normal'
For any men dealing with social anxiety. The first thing you need to do is retain your seed !. Practice semen retention and watch what happens to your anxiety.
Technically storing testosterone this way is only a bandaid for the real issue. There are other ways to boost testosterone naturally and gain the same outcome. Retaining semen to long is not natural and has been proven to be detrimental to your health. It is a life-source of energy within the male body. You need to cleanse and restore this source of energy by releasing it and restoring it again. Think of it kinda like changing the oil on a car to keep it running strong. The real issue is in your mind not your sack. Stay Strong my friend!
It's amazing how our thoughts can drag us down sometimes. Keep in mind that you are NOT your thoughts. Just from this video alone I see absolutely nothing wrong with you what so ever. The key is training yourself to not attach/believe/identify with those negative thoughts so strongly. Also, training yourself to accept and let go of whatever "flaws" or "imperfections" you have. Lastly, always remember that there is someone out there in the world who is in a much worst situation, and be grateful for yourself.
Been lonely for a while... just me and my fiancé. He’s the sweetest, but being with him so much made my social anxiety sky rocket when I am with anyone else but him. It’s so ironic to be in the happiest relationship ever but be so lonely at the same time... glad I found your channel. Most relatable content so far❤️
Omg, I am so sorry you feel this way. Low self esteem is really crippling for an individual's personal growth and career development too. And relationships can be really daunting too. I have experienced this as well, and I really liked the girl i was dating, but she was just not confident in her own complexion, her body and her individuality. I felt she was gorgeous and I was attracted to her physically and mentally; she had a great smile, and I always complemented her. We went on 3 dates, for meals and movies, but she always stayed quiet and didn't really talk much. The dating lasted over a period of 1.5 months but after that, she started to feel distant. I had several heart to heart talks with her, and she started opening up, but I guess she knew that I could never truly relate to her struggle, despite me assuring her that we could work through this together. But she didn't want to continue this, and I accepted that. I just wish her all the best, and hope she grows to love herself and believe in her abilities. You have been very brave to share this, and I really hope you find someone who deserves to be with you, Anitha.
I know my comment doesn’t really help you because you have to believe it yourself, but you are seriously gorgeous and seem like such a sweet person. Anxiety can really feel suffocating and cause one to miss so many opportunities. I suffer from anxiety as well. Good luck on your healing journey, you are strong ❤️
Omg eveything you’ve said in this video was 100% relateable its so crazy. I thought I was alone. My last relationship was 4 years ago, and my low self asteem and social anxiety was part of the many problems. I have gotten somewhat better but I’m still very shy and my confidence is still low. I’ve dated about 2 people since my relationship but none have worked out. I really dont put myself out there into the dating scene because I tend to like to be alone most of the time and I like my personal space. My ex Bf would always make comments about my shyness because he on the other hand was the complete opposite he is very social and outgoing. At a point his family thought I was just being rude or didnt like me because I was quiet all the time, but that wasn’t the case at all, I was just extremely shy and it was just my personality. I have had friends in the past but I’ve still always been to myself because I haven’t been able to trust too many people, never had any Real friends. I wish I could have a group of close friends though. I really could go on and on, But I just want to let you know that I Love these videos you are doing because it lets me know there are other ppl out there like me, so please dont ever stop making videos. Your so pretty btw, wish we could be friends ❤️
girl, thankyou so much for writing this first of all! for you to understand, relate and appreciate this video means a HELLL of a lot to me, so thankYOU for your time and telling me some of what you feel! ❤️❤️ im so sorry it affected you as well! its so frustrating ey! i admire that you still put yourself out there and gave dating ago with the 2 guys, that takes courage, so go you
Your situation sounds similar to mine, if you want you can follow me on social media etc I’m here if you need a friend..it’s hard and I honestly don’t see myself dating for a while I’m too scared I’ll mess it up
Its really respectable youre so open about it! I was so surprised when people were/are so nice about it. I openly mention having a bit of social anxiety now & *gasp!* No One cares! People actually get it & i think find relief in that; i think many people have it & hide it & that is what makes it so terrible! Friends call it out when they see me stuck in my head-it’s very helpful. Theres this weird moralistic view of SA, wen its literally just a skill for some of us we can work on. I think because many people w/sa are Mean about/to others as a result, versus more empathetic, which is how Many of us are! Joking about it helps. I imagine it as the little gremlin in the back of my brain telling me mean things. Something on Cheerful Nihilism was helpful: picturing the voice as the equivalent of a troll locked away in his parents basement saying means things about strangers in the dark-like what a loser! Get a job, troll! Found that image helpful & funny. :P Talking back to it is helpful for me. Literally saying “shut up, you dick” or “dont touch the doorknob again, that wont do anything, youre just stressed & thats just your anxiety talking.”
You are such an honest person, please remember that this anxiety and low esteem are not your fault, this is just the way it makes you feel and see yourself, it can effect everything in your relationships and life in general, but you don't need to worry about your looks, really. Need to feel better about yourself and try to meet people, you will meet people you 'll get on with, be determined to enjoy life and believe these people believe in you in every way, you may help to get use to meeting people the more you go out.
Have you had trauma as a child? Have you tried psychedelics? I have similar feelings as you and I am trying to overcome them. I think the root cause of my “negative” emotions are child trauma, which I am trying to heal. I hope you all the best in life’s journey.
A covenant with you, your soul mate and the Creator. You don’t need these narcissists in your life, Father created you perfect in His eyes and He does not make mistakes. He lead you to me to show you the light so you can join the kingdom and suffer no more pain, sorrow ever again. This world is falling apart day by day. Bless your soul.
You're so brave to share your experience. I really admire you. And thank you for sharing your personal feelings as I'm with someone who's like you. Your story really helps me better understand that mind of the person I'm with. I have tears in my eyes now because your story really touched me. I hope you can find your way out of the "prison" you feel trapped in.
I’m about 5 minutes in and you addressed my biggest worry about being in a relationship as a social anxious guy. Oh lord I can’t imagine the what the girl if i was in a relationship Wild be thinking. Thankfully I already pre-assessed this would happen therefore never got into a relationship. Still waiting for the right girl who understands me as I am and accepts me as I am. It’s darn hard! Edit 1: Holy hell I just finished watching the whole video and I couldn’t even fathom low self esteem does to a woman’s brain. I mean I have low self esteem and social anxiety but I never thought this movie actresses thing would affect a girl so much lol. Feels like I’m better off alone, I’m trapped in both sides either if I get a recovery girl or social anxious low self esteem girl like me. Being in a relationship sounds like a pain when you can’t enjoy the company of another person.
I can relate. I was in similar situation like you that kept me from even starting a relationship. As a guy who should initiate I never did. I overcame social anxiety, I just don't care about other people but I still have very low self esteem. Usually people don't compare themselves to others because they feel bad but I actually feel better that way. I am hard working and trying to improve every day on pretty high level and pretty much nobody does it in my age. Trying to eat healthy, work on my physical and mental health, constantly learning about psychology, now slowly learning 3rd language, playing guitar, building my car, working on my businesses and investing so I can be self employed. But to myself I am still not good enough, I always feel like I am not worthy and if I'm going to commit fully into relationship it'll fail and I will get hurt. 26, never had a relationship. I'm not shy and I can talk to people but have little common with them because of what I do. If I'd commit into relationship I feel like I'd have to tell the truth, what I think about myself. It's like I'm a failure if I consider myself one. Nobody wants to be around person like that. If I saw someone else do what I do I'd consider them successful but to myself I'm not. I don't know why I think that way. But writing about it actually helps a bit. If you read this please respond. I'd love to know that someone cares.
I always figured people with SA were like me and on the uglier side of the spectrum. But you’re seriously stunning as hell. Like the rare kind of woman I’d force myself to break out of shell to talk to. I did that with a coworker recently and after becoming friends I found out that she has SA as well. I was shocked. She has a boyfriend but hardly any other friends despite being extremely sweet, intelligent, adventurous, and beautiful. The mind is a strange thing.
1.Gratitude. 2. Connect with allah,god. 3. See people who are less than you. you have eye, nose, ear everything. Show gratitdue. 4. Journaling. 5. Forgiveness. and all these need practice, practice and repetation constantly for month.
Completely agree with this! Connection to Allah made me actually feel like my social anxiety (which has gotten way better now at 23) was a blessing in disguise. Sometimes we think something is bad, when it’s actually good. Life is testing and even when you’re in tremendous pain, say alhumdulliah. It makes u so grateful and appreciate life more and then it helps u feel happier. Best of luck to u, girl. You’re so naturally stunning by the way. And yr very likeable and pleasant so don’t doubt yourself. 💜
I also don't really think about being in a relationship too much. But when I occasionally do, I get mixed emotions. It really upsets me to see someone so seemingly honest and also gorgeous be so embarrassed about their body. I would definitely be your friend, thanks for the openness in your videos!
hey thomas :) i completely get you with the mixed emotions, i cant just say i feel one emotion!!! oh wow, thankyou so much for saying that, it means alot to me :') you seem like such a kind hearted person, which makes me so happy!!! i hope you are doing okay, sending you lots of love
@@thomasrichards460 hahha yess I got rid of my bed a few months ago, then transitioned to just a mattress and then the floor.. it feels right to me :) thankyou for watching love :D take care of urself with the whole virus!
I have social anxiety and honestly it’s the worse, I’m reading the comments and feel so good to know that I’m not alone. It’s hard to even explain what goes on in my head at times , I find that being in relationships is hard for me. I’ve only had one serious one and I self sabotage and although he did his best and I did too, for some reason I felt I wasn’t good enough for him. It’s hard to explain but now I’m truly working and being myself. I redid my room I got some plants and I feel good to be in my own company, for me it’s the worst at family gatherings and being in groups of people I barley know it’s so hard. But knowing that I have myself is so refreshing but social anxiety is heartbreaking at times
It's helpful to understand where your fear of meeting new people ends, and your disinterest in meeting new people begins. I say this as someone who has suffered 'shyness' my whole life, or what people perceive as shyness. Sometimes it just comes down to not giving a shit. I also commend you for making these videos as I can see it's a strategy for surmounting your social anxiety. Bless.
The reason I have low self esteem is because I got called ugly all the time by everybody at school. And it’s wierd because I feel like I changed completely. To the point where some ppl didn’t even know it was me. The same ppl that bullied me calling me ugly buck tooth four eyes are the ones trying to date me now. Which low self esteem ruins it because I never feel good enough, even thought I physically changed I still feel like the person before. So when ppl compliment me I feel like they’re lying or just saying that to be nice . Totally sucks self esteem really comes from within and I just have to realize I wasn’t ugly to begin with, those ppl were
Hi Anitha! I love your content so much and I appreciate you being vulnerable with us. I completely relate to your experience. I hope it will get better for all of us struggling with social anxiety. It is a daily battle, everyday I have to choose to face this issue that has been negatively affecting my life, and people usually do not understand how hard it can be. I hope we can all overcome this and become the best version of ourselves.
Hey again Liberta 🥰 Wow i really appreciate the time you took to not only write comments but for watching my videos!! Thankyou so much for sharing your side of things to me, I really really understood everything you wrote especially when you said people dont really get how hard it is..... it does tremendously impact the quality of our lives! Yesss, I very much hope everyone suffering will find a way to overcome their struggles including YOU girl, sending you nothing but love precious girl xx✨💙
I'm finally trying to dig deep and figure out why I am the way I am and listening to you made me feel that I'm not alone. Thank you for your sharing your story. It is me almost exactly. I would love to have a friend like you that could totally understand me. I thought I was the only person that felt a lot of these ways
I've definitely had that same experience of overanalyzing other people's words like that and trying to change all those little things about myself too. It is nice to hear someone else who has the same experiences as me talking about it, I think it makes it feel more real. Thank you for making these videos and I'm glad you look more comfortable in this video, hope you're doing well.
I feel exactly the same when people say theyve experienced the same sort of thing- thankyou so much for being open 🧡 and yess was definitely more comfortable, probably because no one was at home unlike last time i was recording and had to make sure no one would hear 😂😂 hope you are well as well! 🧡🧡 xx
That's insane. I can't imagine you having social anxiety tbh...like what? You're beautiful. I can't understand why you would ever feel like this. You're in top half in terms of looks. Personality idk but you're beautiful remember that. Greetings from Germany ^^
You have eyes noses ears and everything else that another person has so what you’re going through someone could have gone through at one point in time. Don’t be so afraid to talk to someone about your problems it could really be a positive life changing experience. Keep strong keep positive keep motivating and keep the almighty with you.
Social anxiety does ruin your not only your life ..but hinders possible relationships to anitha . Best advice - take comfort in what you enjoy and try not to worry about pleasing people. I know it's easier said than done though. .. focus on youself and your strengths. .. all your negative feelings. .. write them down ...it helps with coping
I have only just discovered this video I just want to say @ AnithaKannan thank you for sharing your experience. Major respect to you for being so honest and candid.
I've went through all of this in my current relationship as well! We're still together, and he's really supportive, but I've definitely ruined many plans because I couldn't get myself to go places. He's also the type of person who loves going out with friends. I remember one time I literally ran away in the middle of a date because a group of his friends came up and I was so unprepared for the encounter that I completely froze and went into panic mode. I was like "uhhh, i have to get home because *insert excuse here*" and all of his friends were very confused why i left so suddenly haha. I've definitely been getting better with just trying to stay in situations and not run, but he always tells me im so tense, and I can never relax and enjoy things when we go out. It's definitely a mental block, and isn't easy at all. A big trigger for me is crowded places, like malls. I cannot stay inside a mall for long with feeling like im starting to get dizzy. I think it's because I hyper-focus on myself and how I appear in social situations so much that any normal thing that a human would do starts to feel foreign to me. He always tries to help me not overthink things and stay in the present moment. He says that I'm always in my own head when in social situations, which is true. Intimacy was a problem also because of the hyper-focusing on myself part, which I guess is in part anxiety and in part insecurity. He definitely had to convince me that I look alright because I did not feel that way at all. It's a vulnerable place to be, I think it takes a while to start feeling comfortable with the other person, especially if you aren't comfortable with yourself to begin with. I'm really happy to have come across this video, it makes me feel understood, which I don't really feel around many people. People can empathize with you having issues, but many don't understand what it's actually like to battle this every day. They dont understand how real this fear is, and how bad you want to be able to enjoy the company of others, but you just can't. I wish you good luck on your journey, it's definitely not easy dealing with this, but I think that we are strong for not giving up hope and continuing to try and get better! Sending so much love your way!!!
I understand this, I went years without dating, without beneficial interactions, social or otherwise. Every relationship just fell apart within a few months, either due to military deployments or an inability to fulfill the needs of my other half. Long story short, I married a girl Ive known since I was in my late teens, we both had rough upbringing, and understood eachother to a degree that feels almost wrong. After years of mental health and physical therapy I've learned you have to meet someone else's needs to get your needs met, and if your needs aren't being met, cut ties. Its to difficult giving some of yourself away when you have no clue who YOU are!
Thank you so much for sharing this Anitha. My heart feels for you. I can relate on some very painful levels and this helps a lot. Believe me. Thank you for being so brave. Also I know I don't know you personally, but I can easily tell that you are beautiful on the inside and out and I hope you have taken some of these burdens and lies off of yourself.
I totally admire your honesty and your authenticity. We all have self doubts and insecurities - but not many of us would have the courage you have to be able to open up in a video like you did. Thanks for sharing your experience ❤💜❤
Going out and pretending you do not have Social anxiety is so relatable. My new boyfriend is a social butterfly and I struggle to stay afloat. He is always so social and is very popular 😩. Also his family gathers a lot and they like me so I feel pressured. Whew! It’s a lot. Lol
wow you must be going through a lot of anxiety. i hope your social anxiety has improved girl. i know that personally must have been hard to deal with. I hope that everything changes for you
I never had a boyfriend because of my social anxiety, low self esteem, and being very paranoid and picky. I feel like I’m being constantly judged and never good enough for guys I like. When they leave me hanging after a date, I feel like all my self esteem issues are magnified. It’s a struggle to overcome and very lonely. Like I don’t even want to go on dates anymore because I don’t want to see the disappointment in them or feel disappointed either. It’s also really hard for me to talk when they just talk over me. I try to listen and be nice but my anxiety makes me forget everything I wanna say. then they are uncomfortable and so am I because I can sense their discomfort over me being so awkward and quiet. 😣😞
You have a lot of courage to share this story. I impressed that you can talk about these things. I don't have social anxiety, but I have had trouble dating because of lack of communication skills I guess. I sort of gave up, but I will try again after Covid is over. Anyway, thank you for sharing your story! You talked for 11 minutes and it wasn't boring at all, it was very interesting. Keep the videos coming!
This randomly came across my recommended for whatever reason, but I totally relate to your situation. I had the "luxury" of being with someone who ended up being unfaithful in the end and that entirely catapaulted me into a treacherous journey with myself where my self confidence and self esteem plummeted to the ground. My social anxiety popped into my life out of nowhere again (I've had it really bad before; was expected after such an incident in my life) to the point where I wouldn't leave my home. And the relationship I had with my body took stage front and center, and has to be one of the worst, torturous and agonizing times of my life ever. I started questioning everything. I started questioning everyone. And this lasted for months, which felt like eons. Eventually I got professional help, which I really advocate taking when you're in a place like that or even going through a situation like this in general. It helps a lot. I also happen to be a spiritual person, and during this time I really dived into my spiritual side and discovered a lot about myself. I recommend perhaps trying that part out in your life during testing times. But anyway, the tunnel I was making myself through, that had collapsed into itself, had eventually taught me (more like forced, but taught nonetheless) to find another exit through which I came out with a better sense of reality and of myself. It was NOT easy. It was not an overnight process. I still have walls up around me and now my facade detecting skills are top notch, but some part of me decided to keep on going and trying. And I guess that's what matters in the end? That you tried and persevered. It can be an arduous journey, but boy oh boy can it be so rewarding if you choose to take it. And I also think that with all the reasons to not trust people nowadays with how many take human connections for granted and what not, I think if we try to find the ones who will choose us in the end through thick and thin, the journey is totally worth it. But, we gotta try I guess? A big hug to you and I hope one day you find the confidence again to trust people. (ʘᴗʘ✿)
like others mentioned in the comments dating with social anxiety can be extremely hard for men. Women have their challenges buts it's nothing compared to what a man goes through. An insecure man with low self-esteem is nothing in this world. I am 24 and I have already begun feeling suicidal cuz of this and it's very serious. My advice to anyone who goes through this is to temporarily forget about dating and try to work on themselves.Give yourself time and take small steps forward. Yes, every1 says this but actually it's the best way. In my opinion, we must learn to live with it and train ourselves to ignore it instead of trying to cure it. But by far the worst thing is that almost no1 understands us...
I think this video was very powerful and it helped me understand my current girlfriend a little bit more. Thank you for this amazing video! And I hope you post more about feelings and relationship stuff in the future!
I’m remember feeling locked in a prison that I made, heart palpating, not wanting to go outside, me watching myself watching myself, constant shaking, hating leaving my bed, me wanting to disappear. Then sometime pretending that I’m alright while at the same feeling like I almost tripped constantly
I am 27 and I could never approach a girl due to low self-esteem and social anxiety. This leads me to imagine a relationship in my head to become happy.
Anitha my dear, you don´t need to be sorry for sharing your experiences, it was just great. To my mind, in order to star a new relationship with someone we always need to be humble and honest in so doing, all you will get are good result. And please look at you. YOU ARE SO SMART, HANDSOME, BEAUTIFUL from inside out. Please do not be worried about your belly or your bum that for sure doesn´t has any problem at all. Thanks for sharing, and take care!!!
Everyone goes through different battles in life. I’ve noticed anxiety can take on so many forms, and for the people that have it the worst we treat it as if we are sick. I’ve come to realize we are not sick, it is simply an emotion. Everyone has anxiety, if you are alive you have anxiety. It’s what reminds you to feed the dogs, to get to that meeting on time, etc. instead of seeing it as our enemy it’s actually a tool. Repeat it: Anxiety is NOT the enemy. I’ve had chronic anxiety my whole life. Every week I have panic attacks where I can’t breathe, I feel cold all over, my heart is beating far faster than it should and I honestly feel like I’m dying. I’m constantly concerned about it happening that I avoid going places and miss out on life. Miss out on actually living. I made the choice that I need to accept that I get anxious, I’m not sick or dying, Im just feeling an emotion. I’ve started my journey of accepting that anxiety doesn’t just go away. Instead we need to be kind to ourselves and to the voice inside your head that rings the alarm whenever something triggers you. Don’t get angry or upset that you feel this way, talk to yourself in a positive way: you WILL get through this, this feeling WILL pass, and at the end of the day it is just your brain trying to help you. In my relationships I used to get overwhelmed and my flight system would kick in. Overtime I found that it wasn’t just patience with others that mattered, but patience with myself. Believing in myself. And most importantly, loving myself.
Your a champion Anita !! Ive never been able to relate to someone so much. People like us have to get out more because with you doing videos like this makes me & others feel a bit better :) Btw ur beautiful 😍 🇨🇦
I can relate to a lot of the things you have said. Anxiety can be so horrible and crippling. You seem very nice and genuine. I hope you can slowly over come it. I'm trying to beat it as well 🙂
I'm glad to hear that you at least you got the chance to have a relationship, to experience love, i dont know if i ever will, this social anxiety makes things 10x harder, just thinking about talking to a girl makes my heart pound hard like crazy, i used to go out în the past but as time pass i dont know its like the anxiety build up or something i dont know how to put it în words, i had a friend that i used to go out with but now he is in other town, since he moved i went out a few Times and then i just didnt, just work and home and know its been years since i saw those People that i use to în real life, i only see them în social media. I dont know its just this constant tension and fear being around people, i dont know why some of us are created this way, maybe we have some kind of different purpose. Another thing is that i am very kind hearted and emmotionally weak, so other people consider you a loser and a reason to laugh because you cant fit in especially în school, i dont know maybe you are suppose to wear this mask as a tough guy to gain respect i guess, wich is something that i just cant do, i cant pretend, everyone would notice. Now i am alone most of the time with my toughts and the only people i speak to are my parents a friend and my cousins wich i see i few times a year wich i think its sad. I have all these feelings and i dont know how to exppress myself, i watch all these TV shows and movies and listen to a lot of music, the only things that bring me Joy. Ok so i just felt like leaving this comment here because i dont talk to anybody about this stuff,I wish you the best of luck and i hope one day we will cure this SA at least to some degree.Also i will leave 2 of my fav songs here ruclips.net/video/mWRsgZuwf_8/видео.html ruclips.net/video/vQ3XgMKAgxc/видео.html
Heyyyy 🤗 i just want to say you expressing your feelings on this is AMAZING and im so so appreciative ❤️ and i can relate to so much of what youre saying and cant believe how much we have in common in terms of our situation! When you said you have so much feelings but you dont know how to express it- i could relate so much. I know youre in pain, i can feel it when reading your words! Keep fighting, im going to do whatever i can to show support and will show videos on my update in fighting SA, because im not giving up and letting this control my life, so i will keep u updated with my efforts in fighting this frustrating thing!! ❤️ youre such an inspiration in my eyes for continuing to stay strong! And last night there was a comment on my other video which was really inspiring and seemed like the most realistic way to move forward - its from Marilyn, if you read it, im sure it will help you ☀️ and i love those 2 songs, theyre so good to hear when feeling bummed. What about these? m.ruclips.net/video/SFGvmrJ5rjM/видео.html And this song on loud cheers me up (temporarily) but really works 🥰 m.ruclips.net/video/l6GGu55CjZA/видео.html Gos bless you, you are the best 👊🏽
@@anitha_kannan Thank you for answering, It means a lot, l saw the comment left by Marilyn and its the thing you should do if you have SA to push yourself în awkard situations, but its so hard it's like going to war, every start is difficult but social anxiety makes it so much harder. Next month i have to move to another country so its so hard because i have to step out of my comfort zone because i have to go do the papers and all and there meeting new people at work, It will be incredible hard for me. I hope some people will notice the problem i have and take me easier, It happened before, People noticing and being kinder, but only a few Times, I hope everything goes well. As for the music you recommended I am a big fan of Sia and never heard of the song, its beautiful. Thank you I'll leave here some songs în my language that i like, i dont think you will understand but still they are pleasent to listen to, we have some amazing artists ruclips.net/video/UmZtZqsUQXc/видео.html ruclips.net/video/JOZdYD-fp0M/видео.html ruclips.net/video/ZvIDyL2Wnho/видео.html ruclips.net/video/pptgMvp9uf8/видео.html ruclips.net/video/UWDRn0soLQI/видео.html
Shes a pretty girl so getting a boyfriend is 10000000x easier then us men who has to chase and do all the dirty work. Im 31 and never had a girlfriend. Ive actually tried to get a GF but failed everytime. They must sense the anxiety in me
I blame my social anxiety to basically being in social isolation almost my entire life. 😔 my parents never had a lot of money so they weren’t able to take me to places I wanted to go and I lived at a ranch with barely any people. So my only way to hang out with anybody is at school, but even then I couldn’t figure out how to interact with anybody and being in elementary, I got teased/bullied because of that. And that pulled me more into myself and I got really scared of social situations in general. Since then, I made some good friends along the way, had relationships, but it’s still a long road ahead trying to improve myself. My advice is that to accept that you do have social anxiety. It then becomes easier to start becoming the person you always wanted to be
You don’t necessarily need a partner, but it does help. Watching your videos, you seem to be comfortable with yourself. I hope eventually life gets better for you, because as the comments have indicated, your so beautiful, inside and out.
Hey Chris! 🥰 I never thought I would be this comfortable in front of the video camera, but it's because no one is around, which allows me to talk openly and freely and I really wanted to see if other people like me existed! Thankyou for your lovely words, I appreciate it, I hope you are also doing well! God bless you sweetheart 💙
Anitha Kannan - Considering what you are going thru, I think it is incredibly brave, to put yourself out there, to help yourself and especially others. It cannot be easy to deal with the trolls and detractors. But, for such a simple message, I cannot quite see, what there is to be negative about? I really hope, some day, that one person comes along, in your life, and you get that ‘butterflies’ effect, a number of us were lucky to experience. And your whole life, unexpectedly changes. Until then, stay as positive as you can, and keep creating those wonderful videos.
I am so happy to find someone how has been tru the same experience as me. i also have been in a relationship with a guy but it was so defficult like you said, i hated watching movies with him, i was always in mind thinking about other things so i could pretend to enjoy the movie. He told me that he likes blond hair, but i have long brown hair like yours and i dye it bond just because i feeld i had to. he loves my brown hair but something in my head told me no he hated... and worse thing about all of this is loving someone but being with them is so exausting because you are always overthinking things in your mind. Its hard to find someone to understand you bcs i hear al the time that i am goodlooking en handsome but i cant see that... Ps. Sorry for my bad english bcs normaly i speak dutch.
Heyyy love!! Okay first of all your English is perfect (no where near bad hun) 🤗 I am so so happy you were able to relate to this video, it makes me feel understood! Wow, I really understand what you are saying, especially how you said it is exhausting.... its like the mind just wants to continuously think negatively.... im so sorry you had to feel like this, and i know you have tried to change your hair colour, but trust me dark hair is GORGEOUSSSS, never change your hair beautiful!!! I hope you are okay, I know one day you will realise how beautiful you are, and your future partner will love every single feature of yours and will never make you feel like you need to change your perfect face, hair or body ❤️ you got this ❤️
I’m unemployed because of it. I was clinically diagnosed with social anxiety depressive disorder. It’s tough. I have low self esteem and think I’m too broken for relationships and that I don’t deserve happiness.
Your openness is to be commended Well done to you 👏 What will it take for you to realise you are absolutely gorgeous. It pains me to see you put yourself down like that. You beautiful on the outside but clearly beautiful on the inside too. Keep your head up, smile to world and remember you are beautiful despite what you are telling yourself remember its only you who is thinking like this, we all seemingly agree that youe beautiful inside and out. Stay safe, stay beautiful and most importantly, stay true ro yourself God bless you ❤
I also never really had friends that were too attached so it made me attached a lot more to my ex, was the only person I truly felt comfortable around and getting over that is easier said than done.
Social anxiety feels like a mental prison even though the prison doors are open and we are free to walk out
The mental barrier feels so real and terrifying.
Omggggg the amount of times ive told myself how im in a prison yet the door is open to leave yet im stuck! Wow great minds think alike!! Its the best way to describe the struggle!!!!
So true, I found that even when trying to fight it, it manifest itself through other weird behaviors, like if I force myself to maintain eye contact when I want to look away, my eye will start twitching, or my mouth will shake uncontrollably. I want to fight it, I want to beat this, I pray about it daily. Praying for all of you too🙏🏿
I put it even that way: The society and the modern social "culture" IS the Prison !! But we as Beings are FREE.
Put ppppp
@@anitha_kannan Am 36 and Still locked in this mental prison..I have so much dreams but I cant seem to mustard up the right mindset to take on the task..
The sad thing about is everybody thinks I am cool or I am crazy..lol
Honestly, you’re so incredibly pretty.
yeah she really is
Exactly man I was like well dang who the heck is this. Seems like a pretty cool chick tho I like her
Yes! I was thinking the same!
literally
Yeah because that had to do with the video
You could honestly be a model.
omg wow thats SUPER sweet of you to say :O Thankyou so much love 🧡 I hope youre doing okay!! Sending lots of love your way xx
facts, shes gorgeous for real
She is what you call BEAUTIFUL
I agree, you are very beautiful and blessed. You are also great at communicating.
No kidding. She’s stunning.
I could totally relate, I'm 25 and I'm sooo scared of committing myself to a relationship cuz of my social anxiety and low self esteem
Omgg im so sorry you are experiencing both SA and having a low self esteem!! It can be a nightmare! I really hope that your situation gradually does get better and one day you will be able to have a beautifiul relatiomship without SA affecting it or the partner maybe able to completely support you💚
@subhuman africancel you only get a low self esteem when you try and tell yourself you're uglier than you actually are.
if you keep it real, you're in good hands.
subhuman africancel That is so rude. You should be ashamed of yourself. Take a look in the mirror and don’t put others down because you are insecure.
@subhuman africancel bruh youre such a troll
@subhuman africancel Is that what your mom told you while you growing up? Aww poor baby lol
I have extreme social anxiety and I would love to have a friend that understands!
hey joanna
I want to be your friend.
hi 👉🏽👈🏽
Girl lets link
hey guys🙃
I feel like it’s easier for a woman with social anxiety to be in a relationship with a man because a man that displays charisma & confidence attracts them & the man would have no problem to keep the interest alive but when it’s a man with social anxiety it’s even harder because us as men we are expected to be confident & know how to make a move. I too have to pretend I don’t have social anxiety & it worked (for a while) then my insecurities kick in & I start to overthink whether im too boring or im not good enough & then I sabotage myself & ruin it. It’s a turn off for women & it’s really hard for me to date. People tell me im handsome but once they meet me they get turned off cause of my shyness & they look at me & expect me to be a confident smooth talker. I sometimes smoke weed or take shots of alcohol before going on a date to let myself loosen up but it’s bad that I have to depend on it to even socialize. I’ve honestly been single since 2017. It’s sad. I also want to add that I deal with a lot of insecurities & I also have low self esteem issues. Kind of relieving to see there are beautiful girls like you that deal with SA 🙂
A girl can literally say nothing in a relationship and the man won't care. Social anxiety will have little to no affect on a woman's ability to date. It's definitely not the other way around. A woman can stand there get approached and no matter what they say or don't say they'll still be desired. Actually, I would say a silent woman is more desirable to men than an outgoing woman. I certainly favor it. A man would much rather a woman just talk to him than socialize with a bunch of guys.
Bane facts bro and for some reason girls love an outgoing charismatic guy
we love men invalidating womens struggles :))
communist rat stfu this isn’t an issue that only applies to women, he just wanted to share his experience/opinion and he literally said it was relieving to see that there are beautiful girls like her who deal with social anxiety too.
@@angelina-aisha im sure he didnt mean to be invalidating but a lot of men that struggle with SAD share his opinion and it needs to stop
women do not have it easier than men when it comes to dating with anxiety
I would contend that anxious women often attract manipulative men and are at much higher risk to end up in a toxic relationship. Insecure girls are in general much more likely to be targeted by predators.
in social situations its acceptable for men to be silent and seemingly stoic on the surface while women are expected to always be warm and bubbly
ive just seen the opinion that women with social issues somehow have it easier compared to men dominating on every related forum and girls saying "hey actually it doesnt matter how many guys i attract i still cant date them because of anxiety etc" being shut down
just hope guys realize that men and women with social anxiety all have their unique struggles when it comes to existing in this world
also this is mostly @Bane
Something I learned from my speech teacher in college is that we are all really good actors. We are able to hide our feelings in situations where we feel we need to. Part of breaking through social anxiety is pushing yourself to face your fears. Sometimes you have to fake it till you make it. Overtime certain things will become easier if you just push yourself and try your best to practice confidence. I know it’s hard, but it is so freeing to overcome the little fears that flood your mind with anxiety.
I feel like she's just brutally honest though...Why push yourself? Why act? Why fake it? Why hide? Why pretend? Her view of the world is REAL, not bad nor beautiful. Life comes with the ugly truth, inconveniences, natural discomfort...LOL!
I have completely stopped dating also. It's just too stressful. It's a constant worry. I think you are so brave to do these videos. I stopped making mine because my anxiety and then depression has been so high lately. But your strength gives me motivation to at least try. You are beautiful by the way.
Hey hun!! Youre in a similiar sitch as me... i feeel you!! It can be quite stressful tbh!! And your so brave to just tell me your side of things, i really appreciate the openness🧡 i would love to see your videos, that would be amazing!! Im so sorry youre going through a tough time, you are a warrior KEEP STAYING STRONG!! Im here for you if u ever need ❤️ god bless you carrie!
Hi. I'm the girl that has all the anxiety but still wants to make RUclips videos to get the awareness out there of anxiety and depression and the effects of it. I really like you and I respect you greatly for making these videos. Would you mind being friends via email? If you want to my email address is Celica_622@yahoo.com. I would like to have someone that is dealing with the same stuff to talk about what kind of videos I should do and video ideas. Let me know.
Hey Carrie! Yesss absolutely id LOVE to, ill email you right away ☺️ appreciate you giving me your email ☀️
It's so refreshing to hear someone my age say they also have no friends. I feel like a complete freak! I sent you an email a while ago btw but never got a reply
Hey georgous!! 🥰 You arent a freak at all, youre an inspiration especially after reading your articles ❤️ I have just replied, my fault!!!! Hope to hear from u soon xxxooxox
This is so sad.
You’re such a beautiful and well spoken girl, you have such a sweet disposition. I’m sorry you have to go through that.
I experience social anxiety and insecurities too so I can definitely relate, especially hiding the belly part :(
I’ve suffered with severe social anxiety all my life. It got worse when I turned 13 and started blushing. Before that I could at least act like I was more confident but when you blush then everybody knows. I got offered an interview for my dream job and couldn’t go for fear of blushing. As for dating it’s one of my biggest fears- I always have to get half drunk before I go on the date but when I get there I literally can’t speak, I will basically just be mute. I also hate eating in front of people as I’m so self conscious so dinner is a no no and ordering the food is just an ordeal in itself. Ive had 2 relationships but I can never be myself fully around those people and always end up being reserved and feel like I have nothing interesting to say because I don’t do much and then just constantly wonder why this person is with me because I have nothing to offer them apart from my love. I constantly feel inferior to everybody and apologetic for being alive. I can only be my true self around my family and a few friends. It really is soul destroying. I have to watch everybody living out their lives doing all the things I wish I could but I’m just stuck. I know you won’t believe me but you are incredibly naturally beautiful and seem like such a sweet and genuine person. Thank you for making me feel not so alone.
Girl, I'm exactly like you, literally, it's like you wrote about me and not yourself. Blushing (I'm always covering myself up with loads of concealer before the date), getting tipsy before, not being able to talk, because I can't think of anything to say.. plus the minute I open my mouth I just say some stupid shallow shi*, cause my brain stops working so I can't talk about more serious stuff (and I cry whenever I talk about my feelings so I don't even wanna take that risk on a date..). It's exactly what you've written - I feel like I have nothing to offer apart from love. Literally NOTHING. To the point that when I see someone's taking interest in me I'm starting to wonder what's wrong with them. Cause I believe that no normal guy would've ever want to be with someone like me. It's tough as hell, I gave up on dating few years ago and haven't done it ever since.. And now I'm watching all those videos about SA, because I met someone online and he wants to meet. And I'm terrified. I thought those videos could help but I'm not so sure about that anymore :P
uneFemme Sorry to hear that girl! Being like me is tough! I feel you with the not being able to think of anything to say, and then when you do your voice sounds alien to you and you over analyse everything thinking how stupid you sounded. I think it’s just a major fear of someone thinking something negative about you. It’s the worst, like being a prisoner in York own body. It’s great that you met someone! You should 100% meet them! Think of some things to say and ask in advance and just remember if they are truly nice person they will understand! It wouldn’t put me off someone if they were shy! You go girl, you got this!
@@meganimal8 aw thank you, that's so sweet! Yeah, it feels exactly like being a prisoner in your own body. It's the most frustrating thing not being able to just be yourself in front of others. But oh well, just to let you know I took your advice and met the guy, fortunately he's very easy-going and talkative, so there wasn't any awkward silence.. So yeah, it wasn't a disaster like I imagined it to be!
@@meganimal8 i would like to get to know you :)
i also feel sorry for other people because I'm plain boring and uninteresting. I literally don't do anything but stay in my room studying and watching videos. Others have fun stories to tell, jokes, secrets and i have none of that so i feel like people talk to me out of pity. 😟
I have social anxiety and i feel the same way u do. Dating is the worse of them all and your not alone
Im so sorry youre experiencing SA!! I hope you are coping okay, its definitely a struggle, i know you will get through this, it wont be perfect, but gradually it will improve! Youre a warrior 🧡
Thank you so much anitha your a beautiful person inside and out❤
You look genuine and amazing, you don't seem like someone with anxiety.
Ive had a few people say this, but I definitely have had social anxiety since I was 12! I appreciate your kind words, hope youre doing well
The candidness you display on youtube is always a massive encouragement for ppl like us. It makes me feel less lonely, more understood and connected :'D. Not making generalizations here, but sometimes I feel that ppl like us may be more introspective and self-evaluating than the masses. I.e we examine our flaws profoundly and repeatedly and share them with ppl whom we are comfortable with being vulnerable. Therefore, in regards to friendship, I feel like putting it this way: it's so much harder for us to make friends because we know so much more about ourselves and the human nature (hence many of us suffer a bit from misanthropy as well).
Quite often, I see human hubris priding itself for having the potential for greatness and innovation that surpasses every other species. However, while I do acknowledge our unlimited capacity for good, I am also familiar with the other end of the spectrum, the one where we display the capacity for being the worst and the most destructive. As such we might not be the best of all species but the most extreme.
So sometimes I think all of this is about balance: while too much self-esteem can lead to the aforementioned hubris, too little paves the way for diffidence, which might be what leads to social anxiety and low self-esteem. It's interesting to mention how both of these extremes are tunnel-visioned: in extreme ends, the former sees its unlimited potential without its flaws, whereas the latter may be mired down by flaws that do or do not exist. Naturally, it's mostly the former's voices & ambitions that are roaming about the globe as they are boisterous and reverberating, while the latter either tends to be rather timid or sometimes even deliberately muffling themselves up.
With the increase of psychological illnesses, metabolic diseases, and sociopathy, I tend to see these new-age aberrations as symptoms of the progressively polarizing nature of the aforementioned tunnel-visions.
However, I do not see things always been this way, quite evidently speaking. Thus I'd like to conjecture how technology and its development immensely contributes to this anomaly. Note that this is not a propagation of Luddite philosophy but simply a criticism towards the lack of proper scrutiny over technological development. To put it simply, humans have always idolized convenience, security, comfort and perpetuity, so much so that we've been and still are in constant development to further the effects of these aspects in life. And because it works, though at many costs, we, too, idolize the tool which realized these "dreams". And this tool might not be so much technology in general but science per see - the observation, duplication and exploitation of reproducible patterns.
We cannot deny how much we've enjoyed our technologies thus far. Nonetheless, amidst these godlike conveniences and etc. we tend to overlook how incredibly overwhelmed we are by these contraptions of ours, as technology doesn't only augment/speed up our desires but it speeds up everything - everything that is good or bad, and of course the bad predominates its counterpart. It can render something as small as a harmless gossip/private matter that would normally be buffered in a slow/naturally-paced society(thanks to human forgetfulness and with them being preoccupied with real-life matters off the internet) into becoming distorted, megaphoned, meme-ed, accentuated, and even stored in the cyber-abyss. That was only one and very minor example. Here's another one, how the expectations that arise from the speed, convenience and instantaneousness of communication can lead to the unintended stress of people in one or all social-circles. Albeit many are already starting to talk about it, and even Elon Musk is in fear of the development of AI tech, its overwhelmingness is still too underrated and unfathomed.
Our capacity to handle information as humans have always been the same, and the only difference between today's humans and our ancestral homo sapiens is the type of information that we handle. Our ancestors handled info that helped them live in the wild while ours help us survive in today's "wild". In other words, we are not technically "smarter", we just possess a different set of info/tools that is required in a different environment. With this in mind, we can now understand how we are overwhelmed by today's deluge of information. In layman terms, we handle information with both rationality and emotionality at all times, sometimes one more than the other(e.g mathematics) but in no instances is either one ever totally excluded. It's also important to point out that rationality and emotionality may be how info is registered in our brain, but the medium via which this info is stored involves all of our senses e.g touch, taste, hearing, smelling, sight, proprioception and many others that are still not fully understood by scientists. One can also imagine info being partially stored in these senses.(Ofc, there are also mediums like "habits" but we'll not get into that)
Now, in order to manage more info than we can handle by default, we use tools in the same way our ancestors have always done. In the past, they use tablets, knots, paintings, symbols, calendars and etc. yet today we aren't too different either...except having our analogues receiving a digital(or even a quantum) boost. From a glance, not only is it not a problem but a sign of superiority. But on a closer look, there are many costs to these info-storage-proxies, one particular one is that they rarely if ever incorporate our senses, hence today's downplay on our senses' potential usage unless predisposing factors are involved such as a handicap. Another cost is that they are not really good at storing the emotionality-half of the information. Sure, reading a letter/diary or even watching a video can bring out tears of sorrow or joy, but its authenticity is still far from being comparable to the interaction with the actual person/people/thing/place that invoked the reminiscence. I know that was a relatively poor analogy but the point I am trying to make here is that the emotionality and sensual aspect of info is always compromised when being stored in our info-storing-tools. In other words, a significant part of reality is lost in this translation and this is a problem because it actually affects our tether with reality. Indeed, the loss of a small amount is actually still manageable due to our spectacular capacity for imagination and creativity hence the importance of reading books, writing stuff down, and getting ourselves involved with artistic things. However, if lost in bulk on a daily basis, then it can lead to what people describe as "reality-crisis". If that doesn't happen, a person can become robotic and lacklustre as seen in many first-world countries with impending/existing psychological issues and relationship problems.
The adage "everything in moderation" is definitely something that we need to take heed to solve this shebang on an individual scale. Fortunately, we can already observe this phenomenon with the niche but popularizing lifestyles that value simplicity over the obsessions of technological conveniences: minimalism, tiny houses, off-the-grid living, boathouses, permaculture and etc. Intriguingly, many of these lifestyles take a course towards the natural "wild" where our ancestors once lived in and having to adopt many of their forgotten "knowledge". It is almost like we are wired to heal ourselves in a certain way(maybe we are).
I believe there is a part of us that craves balance but lacks the courage to realize it
To wrap it up, I would opine that technology(i.e propaganda) actually polarizes our differences in personality whereas under natural circumstances, where things are slower-paced and interactions more real-life oriented, our predilections can actually keep each other in check: the recklessly ambitious not too ambitious, but more caring of their surroundings, with the timid and anxious being more heard and appreciated for their sharp observation and candidness. Hopefully, more humility, in general, will be at play. And with fewer ppl overloaded with info, ppl may be less tunnel-visioned and more open-minded.
Sorry for the tl;dr but your video inspired me to...share this :'D (I guess I thought it'd be helpful)
All in all, I really admire your bravery for sharing your stories with us :) It's truly a sign of hope, keep it up!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW! I SERIOUSLY do not have any words to describe how AMAZING this is.... oh my goodness this is exactly the kind of messages I want to be reading, ive learnt so much from what you just said and it gives me goosebumps knowing someone else is able to see through all the "brainwash" and society cr**!! You, my friend, are something else. Im so curious to know what kind of experiences you went through to be able to realise all of what you wrote! I actually read this a few times, because each time I read it i found myself connecting more and more to what you were saying.... Im so grateful for you, and that you found my video!! You are truly amazing, wow, im speechless! THANKYOUU a billion times 🙌 people like you give me hope, that there are deep, wise incredible souls out there who actually think differently, what a blessing! I hope you are doing well, god bless you 💜💜💜💜💜
It doesn’t matter how attractive, successful or nice you are. If you don’t value yourself, you don’t value yourself.
You are insanely beautiful. I am going through this right now, it's awful. Hope you are feeling better, putting love and positive vibes out there in the universe for you :-)
OMGGG! thankyou so much for saying that, means so much love!
My version of dating was opening an app, getting a decent amount of matches, apologizing and then deleting the profile as to avoid a physical interaction.
Maksim Blagojevic social anxiety, it was really bad dude.
That was me too
@@kittyakumu - Haha really?
@Maksim Blagojevic - I'd rather not go into it man.
@Maksim Blagojevic I did, it helped tremendously.
Honestly i'm in highschool and I have no friends...and everything you say makes me feel like I'm not so "lonely" i guess but you give me hope lol and I thank you for that, I relate to you on a SPIRITUAL LEVEL, i relate to everything it's crazy lol
Thank you for having the courage to start making videos! Knowing that someone as beautiful and humble as you is going through similar things as me is so comforting and encouraging 💚💛
Its always the prettiest people who feel the ugliest at least in my experiences with woman
Hey love!! 🥰 It was such a weird phase in my life, Ive come very far with inner work/growth! Theres so many things that destroys a person's self esteem, but im so glad I just ignore all the negative cr**! Hope youre well, and thankyou for taking the time to watch this love 💜 xx
Yeah, like Audrey Hepburn! She’s about the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in MY LIFE, and I am pretty straight! But she never believed she was attractive.
I think I have this too. Others tell me I'm incredibly attractive but I genuinely believe I'm SO ugly and unattractive. I'm 23 and never had a serious relationship and just feel like there is something severely wrong with my appearance and no one will ever fall in love with me.
Thanks for sharing your experience! Everything you mentioned was very relatable to me and I appreciate knowing I am not the only one who struggles with these problems. also you are beautiful!
A bit about my experience- The last boyfriend I had was 6 years ago (I am 23), and I am just now acknowledging how my SA and low self-esteem really played a major role in our relationship. I had the same thoughts of thinking he thought every girl was prettier or smarter than me and that I was never enough. I worried and stressed about it constantly every day yet I kept it to myself. I couldn't speak up about those inner feelings because of the SA. ...I have been single since, trying to date. But the ones I see myself liking I always ruin with my anxiety. also the fact that my ex broke up with me over text for HIS ex probably didn't help with my self-esteem and trust now.
but here's too trying to heal & better ourselves
Hey beautiful!! I am so glad you were able to relate to the struggles mentioned here, makes me feel less alone and understood :') Oh wow I'm also 23 and my last relationship was 5 years ago (very similar)! But I completely understand how you must have felt especially because you couldnt be completely open with him because of your SA. Im so sorry you had to experience so much worry! Im sure you will definitely find someone soon (and i pray he will be a gentleman and understanding)! And your ex broke up with you over TEXT?! thats pathetic of him, as if! That would have broke you :/ YOU deserve to be treated like the queen you are hun
Interesting, I’ve gotten into a few relationships with severe social anxiety. And my social anxiety definitely affected my lack of closeness with my partners because I always had social anxiety around my boyfriends.
But mainly the reason I got into these relationships wasn’t because I was remotely ready, in fact I was terrified of getting close with a man, but for the reason of trying to improve myself and learn something from the experience because oftentimes social anxiety shelters us by default or makes us go to another extreme of being a party animal to overcompensate.
Its so good to read your experience being in relationships!! Its so interesting to see how SA can affect everyone different with relationships! But its awesome that you put yourself out there and gave the whole “relationship” thing a shot! So much courage!! 💪🏽😍❤️
That's exactly what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of having social anxiety around my future partner. If I can't be comfortable around my own boyfriend in the future, what's the point of getting into a relationship in the first place? I'm 21 so I feel like I need to start thinking about going on dates at least, but sometimes I just can't get myself to go out the house, let alone talk to a guy. At the moment I'm having a friend stay over, due to her difficult circumstances, and I can't even get myself to be fully comfortable around her. The only people I feel comfortable with is my immediate family whom I live with. I don't see myself living with a partner anytime soon :(
Yeah but that's because since you're a woman, you don't have to do anything in terms of making a relationship happen or start because you don't have to do the pursuing or courting
Its tough having SA in a relationship....I used to take shots of liquor while my girl would be in the shower before we went out for a night....to calm me down...smh...SA makes everything difficult
Btw you have nothing to be self conscious about...your beautiful and I'm sure your stomach and backside are great too! Its always worse in our own mind.
Oh man, that sounds horrible but i can completely understand why you had to take shots!! I remember i had a phase where i was trying to improve SA by going to social events and did the same thing- so sorry u had to go through that :/ hope youre okay!!
And thanks so much, yeah i agree the mind can be so evil !! Thanks for sharing 🧡☺️
I used to drink before i go out on a date too it does calm me down for the moment but beware the anxiety was worst the next day because of the alcohol
i used to pop pills (benzodiazepines) everyday to do the most regular things and now i sniff amfetamine so yea it escalated
Lol been there pretending that I am “normal” and don’t have social anxiety on dates. I’m working on self love because I’ve realized that I don’t like me and I’m projecting it on other people.
you are so courageous for making this video and being open - you are already making such amazing steps to become a more confident version of yourself. and you are gorgeous. you have absolutely nothing to worry about and you're stunning
How can a gorgeous model like you think she’s unattractive? There is nothing ugly about you! And I’m not just saying it to make you feel better, I genuinely mean it. You are a true beauty 😍
OMG😊you made me blush a bit, im definitely no model, but wow THANKYOU- youre an absolute sweetheart! I hope you are doing well, definitely will not forget this comment 💜
KAIZO POLYMATH Makes sense, thank you for sharing your opinion.
Wow Kaizo..Your comment is upsetting and disappointing! It doesnt hurt me at all, but so disheartening to see you cant see my geniuine pain and struggles that Im trying to express. Your words dont phase me, but Im not here to argue or explain anything to someone who thinks what you think and will never understand what I feel! God bless you still...
I dated a girl that had similar issues. It was tough. She was gorgeous too but there's no amount of reassurance you can give to someone that lacks that self-esteem. I hope you are someday able to be free of those things holding you back.
It's refreshing to hear your brutal honesty...Why fluff things up or push yourself? Why act? Why fake it? Why hide? Why pretend? Your view of the world is REAL, not bad nor beautiful. Life comes with the ugly truth, inconveniences, natural discomfort, etc...LOL! You call it how it is. It's just not socially acceptable to be this honest and view it as a norm.
I like that you just don't bother with the inconveniences and say no.
I came across your video after seeing your story featured on BBC and how you met your Partner after he responded to your video. I am really touched by your story. Social anxiety is an affliction that affects many people from time to time, some more than others. How often do people get tongue-tied and are unable to respond to small talk or sarcasm until after the event when it occurs to them exactly how they should have responded. But it is not a mental disorder, just something to be aware of and to work ourselves slowly out of the tunnel and into the light by deliberately putting ourselves out of our comfort zones as much as possible. In the end, we have to realise that people don’t really care that much about other people’s worries about their bodies. As a matter of fact, like in your case, you may see your tummy as ugly and gross but others may see you as a well rounded woman and very admirable!! And in the end, it does not really matter what other people think given that there will always be people on both sides:- heavy admirers and heavy haters. So, learn to leave all alone and live your life understanding that people have got so many of their problems that they don’t really have time to care about yours as much as you might think they do. And just to say, there is nothing you said in the video that was disturbing, even the very personal part on sex was just marvellously honest, open and inspiring. Thank you Anitha.
Man it's so strange what the brain can do, like I can't believe you look at yourself in a different way from what I see when I look at you. You're really beautiful. I'm a girl and I also have a low self esteem but not to this point I guess. Since a lot of people agree with me in that you're beautiful I hope it changes a little bit the way you view yourself. You have such beauty and genuineness. You can do a lot of things, I hope you get to model, to travel, to meet new people, to love yourself, to not be self conscious and to learn to forget (because that's one of the primary reasons we get low self esteem). And I hope this RUclips thing helps you! It's a great step forward!
I always thought being pretty was directly related to a good self-esteem, because you are pretty and you destroyed my theory.
your theory isn't destroyed. There are exceptions in everything. Being beautiful has a high correlation with high self esteem. Your argument if true would mean no theory is correct since there are exceptions in everything.
My conclusion is that having low self-esteem is more psychological than it is dependent on beauty , wealth or status. Just like body dysmorphism , beautiful people suffer too.
I think this way of thinking is majorly dependent on your upbringing as a child.
@@bo_gee5390 that doesn't even make sense. Everything is psychological, beauty wealth etc is what determines your psychological profile. Your point is wrong. A person that is beautiful from childhood will be treated with perks, given free things let off for doing bad things and generally they develop the halo effect (generally meaning most people there are always exceptions), this girl in particular is an exception not a rule... hence these attributes such as wealth especially if they have had it since childhood during the years before 7 years old is when your ego, and other attributes of your brain develops then affects your psychological profile into adulthood.
@@bo_gee5390 no it's not on your upbringing. It's dependent on everything, the parents (upbringing, ) the environment, how everyone else treats you in response to your person and how you feel and introspect about how the world think about you. Also you are wrong. Statistically, do you know what that term means? it means 90 out of 100 beautiful people compared to 100 so called ugly people, most of the good looking people will not be as insecure about themselves. lol. SO NO YOU ARE WRONG.
That sounds so difficult to deal with. My heart goes out to you. You’re so pretty. Please don’t think you’re ugly because you’re not!
The valuable lesson from her strength. Us with social anxiety should tell our partners honestly and just try our best in your limits
Thank you for having the courage to be open and honest. I am a man, and can relate to a lot of what you say. I am able to be social, but I've become more and more reclusive. I know that's not the same as what you're saying, but your honesty gives me strength. I way prefer to be alone these days. I hope that you are able to protect your energy. And I think it's good to only do what you are ok with doing. Not to force your self bc of what may or may not be 'normal'
For any men dealing with social anxiety. The first thing you need to do is retain your seed !. Practice semen retention and watch what happens to your anxiety.
What does that mean?
Technically storing testosterone this way is only a bandaid for the real issue. There are other ways to boost testosterone naturally and gain the same outcome. Retaining semen to long is not natural and has been proven to be detrimental to your health. It is a life-source of energy within the male body. You need to cleanse and restore this source of energy by releasing it and restoring it again. Think of it kinda like changing the oil on a car to keep it running strong. The real issue is in your mind not your sack.
Stay Strong my friend!
It's amazing how our thoughts can drag us down sometimes. Keep in mind that you are NOT your thoughts. Just from this video alone I see absolutely nothing wrong with you what so ever. The key is training yourself to not attach/believe/identify with those negative thoughts so strongly. Also, training yourself to accept and let go of whatever "flaws" or "imperfections" you have. Lastly, always remember that there is someone out there in the world who is in a much worst situation, and be grateful for yourself.
Been lonely for a while... just me and my fiancé. He’s the sweetest, but being with him so much made my social anxiety sky rocket when I am with anyone else but him. It’s so ironic to be in the happiest relationship ever but be so lonely at the same time... glad I found your channel. Most relatable content so far❤️
Omg, I am so sorry you feel this way. Low self esteem is really crippling for an individual's personal growth and career development too. And relationships can be really daunting too. I have experienced this as well, and I really liked the girl i was dating, but she was just not confident in her own complexion, her body and her individuality. I felt she was gorgeous and I was attracted to her physically and mentally; she had a great smile, and I always complemented her. We went on 3 dates, for meals and movies, but she always stayed quiet and didn't really talk much. The dating lasted over a period of 1.5 months but after that, she started to feel distant. I had several heart to heart talks with her, and she started opening up, but I guess she knew that I could never truly relate to her struggle, despite me assuring her that we could work through this together. But she didn't want to continue this, and I accepted that. I just wish her all the best, and hope she grows to love herself and believe in her abilities. You have been very brave to share this, and I really hope you find someone who deserves to be with you, Anitha.
I know my comment doesn’t really help you because you have to believe it yourself, but you are seriously gorgeous and seem like such a sweet person. Anxiety can really feel suffocating and cause one to miss so many opportunities. I suffer from anxiety as well. Good luck on your healing journey, you are strong ❤️
Omg eveything you’ve said in this video was 100% relateable its so crazy. I thought I was alone. My last relationship was 4 years ago, and my low self asteem and social anxiety was part of the many problems. I have gotten somewhat better but I’m still very shy and my confidence is still low. I’ve dated about 2 people since my relationship but none have worked out. I really dont put myself out there into the dating scene because I tend to like to be alone most of the time and I like my personal space. My ex Bf would always make comments about my shyness because he on the other hand was the complete opposite he is very social and outgoing. At a point his family thought I was just being rude or didnt like me because I was quiet all the time, but that wasn’t the case at all, I was just extremely shy and it was just my personality. I have had friends in the past but I’ve still always been to myself because I haven’t been able to trust too many people, never had any Real friends. I wish I could have a group of close friends though. I really could go on and on, But I just want to let you know that I Love these videos you are doing because it lets me know there are other ppl out there like me, so please dont ever stop making videos. Your so pretty btw, wish we could be friends ❤️
girl, thankyou so much for writing this first of all! for you to understand, relate and appreciate this video means a HELLL of a lot to me, so thankYOU for your time and telling me some of what you feel! ❤️❤️ im so sorry it affected you as well! its so frustrating ey! i admire that you still put yourself out there and gave dating ago with the 2 guys, that takes courage, so go you
Your situation sounds similar to mine, if you want you can follow me on social media etc I’m here if you need a friend..it’s hard and I honestly don’t see myself dating for a while I’m too scared I’ll mess it up
Its really respectable youre so open about it!
I was so surprised when people were/are so nice about it. I openly mention having a bit of social anxiety now & *gasp!* No One cares! People actually get it & i think find relief in that; i think many people have it & hide it & that is what makes it so terrible! Friends call it out when they see me stuck in my head-it’s very helpful.
Theres this weird moralistic view of SA, wen its literally just a skill for some of us we can work on. I think because many people w/sa are Mean about/to others as a result, versus more empathetic, which is how Many of us are!
Joking about it helps. I imagine it as the little gremlin in the back of my brain telling me mean things. Something on Cheerful Nihilism was helpful: picturing the voice as the equivalent of a troll locked away in his parents basement saying means things about strangers in the dark-like what a loser! Get a job, troll!
Found that image helpful & funny. :P Talking back to it is helpful for me. Literally saying “shut up, you dick” or “dont touch the doorknob again, that wont do anything, youre just stressed & thats just your anxiety talking.”
You are such an honest person, please remember that this anxiety and low esteem are not your fault, this is just the way it makes you feel and see yourself, it can effect everything in your relationships and life in general, but you don't need to worry about your looks, really. Need to feel better about yourself and try to meet people, you will meet people you 'll get on with, be determined to enjoy life and believe these people believe in you in every way, you may help to get use to meeting people the more you go out.
“The only position we could do was militar....no missionary. 😭😭😭. That was so funny
I ALWAYS mix up both those words hahaha!!! 😂
Have you had trauma as a child? Have you tried psychedelics? I have similar feelings as you and I am trying to overcome them. I think the root cause of my “negative” emotions are child trauma, which I am trying to heal. I hope you all the best in life’s journey.
A covenant with you, your soul mate and the Creator. You don’t need these narcissists in your life, Father created you perfect in His eyes and He does not make mistakes. He lead you to me to show you the light so you can join the kingdom and suffer no more pain, sorrow ever again. This world is falling apart day by day. Bless your soul.
You're so brave to share your experience. I really admire you. And thank you for sharing your personal feelings as I'm with someone who's like you. Your story really helps me better understand that mind of the person I'm with. I have tears in my eyes now because your story really touched me. I hope you can find your way out of the "prison" you feel trapped in.
You're lucky you had a guy put up with you for this long. I only tried dating once, and it only lasted a week 😭
How did it only last a week?
Me too 💀
I’m about 5 minutes in and you addressed my biggest worry about being in a relationship as a social anxious guy. Oh lord I can’t imagine the what the girl if i was in a relationship Wild be thinking. Thankfully I already pre-assessed this would happen therefore never got into a relationship. Still waiting for the right girl who understands me as I am and accepts me as I am. It’s darn hard!
Edit 1: Holy hell I just finished watching the whole video and I couldn’t even fathom low self esteem does to a woman’s brain. I mean I have low self esteem and social anxiety but I never thought this movie actresses thing would affect a girl so much lol.
Feels like I’m better off alone, I’m trapped in both sides either if I get a recovery girl or social anxious low self esteem girl like me. Being in a relationship sounds like a pain when you can’t enjoy the company of another person.
Me, looking at the thumbnail: surely SHE’S not going to give me advice on social anxiety looking like that lol
Social anxiety is beyond looks
I can relate. I was in similar situation like you that kept me from even starting a relationship. As a guy who should initiate I never did. I overcame social anxiety, I just don't care about other people but I still have very low self esteem. Usually people don't compare themselves to others because they feel bad but I actually feel better that way. I am hard working and trying to improve every day on pretty high level and pretty much nobody does it in my age. Trying to eat healthy, work on my physical and mental health, constantly learning about psychology, now slowly learning 3rd language, playing guitar, building my car, working on my businesses and investing so I can be self employed. But to myself I am still not good enough, I always feel like I am not worthy and if I'm going to commit fully into relationship it'll fail and I will get hurt. 26, never had a relationship. I'm not shy and I can talk to people but have little common with them because of what I do. If I'd commit into relationship I feel like I'd have to tell the truth, what I think about myself. It's like I'm a failure if I consider myself one. Nobody wants to be around person like that. If I saw someone else do what I do I'd consider them successful but to myself I'm not. I don't know why I think that way. But writing about it actually helps a bit. If you read this please respond. I'd love to know that someone cares.
AND I realy think you are doing amazing and everything is going to be just fine one day
You are so beautiful! It is hard to imagine that you struggle with social anxiety. You are strikingly beautiful!
I always figured people with SA were like me and on the uglier side of the spectrum. But you’re seriously stunning as hell. Like the rare kind of woman I’d force myself to break out of shell to talk to. I did that with a coworker recently and after becoming friends I found out that she has SA as well. I was shocked. She has a boyfriend but hardly any other friends despite being extremely sweet, intelligent, adventurous, and beautiful. The mind is a strange thing.
1.Gratitude.
2. Connect with allah,god.
3. See people who are less than you. you have eye, nose, ear everything. Show gratitdue.
4. Journaling.
5. Forgiveness.
and all these need practice, practice and repetation constantly for month.
Amazing ! Thankyou for sharing these 5 beautiful points- it truly does help! 🙏🏽💎
Completely agree with this! Connection to Allah made me actually feel like my social anxiety (which has gotten way better now at 23) was a blessing in disguise. Sometimes we think something is bad, when it’s actually good. Life is testing and even when you’re in tremendous pain, say alhumdulliah. It makes u so grateful and appreciate life more and then it helps u feel happier. Best of luck to u, girl. You’re so naturally stunning by the way. And yr very likeable and pleasant so don’t doubt yourself. 💜
You’re so brave for making this video. Thank you for being so honest.
I also don't really think about being in a relationship too much. But when I occasionally do, I get mixed emotions. It really upsets me to see someone so seemingly honest and also gorgeous be so embarrassed about their body. I would definitely be your friend, thanks for the openness in your videos!
hey thomas :) i completely get you with the mixed emotions, i cant just say i feel one emotion!!! oh wow, thankyou so much for saying that, it means alot to me :') you seem like such a kind hearted person, which makes me so happy!!! i hope you are doing okay, sending you lots of love
@@anitha_kannan thank you! I watched your video on your daily routine, u really sleep on the floor? Really interesting video though!
@@thomasrichards460 hahha yess I got rid of my bed a few months ago, then transitioned to just a mattress and then the floor.. it feels right to me :) thankyou for watching love :D take care of urself with the whole virus!
@@anitha_kannan you too! Keep up the good videos!
I have social anxiety and honestly it’s the worse, I’m reading the comments and feel so good to know that I’m not alone. It’s hard to even explain what goes on in my head at times , I find that being in relationships is hard for me. I’ve only had one serious one and I self sabotage and although he did his best and I did too, for some reason I felt I wasn’t good enough for him. It’s hard to explain but now I’m truly working and being myself. I redid my room I got some plants and I feel good to be in my own company, for me it’s the worst at family gatherings and being in groups of people I barley know it’s so hard. But knowing that I have myself is so refreshing but social anxiety is heartbreaking at times
Im only 14 but I’m always worried that I’m never going to be in a relationship because of my social anxiety
Ask your parents for help or you can get depressed because of it pretty soon
God bless you Anitha!!!!
It's helpful to understand where your fear of meeting new people ends, and your disinterest in meeting new people begins. I say this as someone who has suffered 'shyness' my whole life, or what people perceive as shyness. Sometimes it just comes down to not giving a shit. I also commend you for making these videos as I can see it's a strategy for surmounting your social anxiety. Bless.
The reason I have low self esteem is because I got called ugly all the time by everybody at school. And it’s wierd because I feel like I changed completely. To the point where some ppl didn’t even know it was me. The same ppl that bullied me calling me ugly buck tooth four eyes are the ones trying to date me now. Which low self esteem ruins it because I never feel good enough, even thought I physically changed I still feel like the person before. So when ppl compliment me I feel like they’re lying or just saying that to be nice . Totally sucks self esteem really comes from within and I just have to realize I wasn’t ugly to begin with, those ppl were
Yes that's very true it comes from within not from outside
Hi Anitha! I love your content so much and I appreciate you being vulnerable with us. I completely relate to your experience. I hope it will get better for all of us struggling with social anxiety. It is a daily battle, everyday I have to choose to face this issue that has been negatively affecting my life, and people usually do not understand how hard it can be. I hope we can all overcome this and become the best version of ourselves.
Hey again Liberta 🥰 Wow i really appreciate the time you took to not only write comments but for watching my videos!! Thankyou so much for sharing your side of things to me, I really really understood everything you wrote especially when you said people dont really get how hard it is..... it does tremendously impact the quality of our lives! Yesss, I very much hope everyone suffering will find a way to overcome their struggles including YOU girl, sending you nothing but love precious girl xx✨💙
I'm finally trying to dig deep and figure out why I am the way I am and listening to you made me feel that I'm not alone. Thank you for your sharing your story. It is me almost exactly. I would love to have a friend like you that could totally understand me. I thought I was the only person that felt a lot of these ways
I've definitely had that same experience of overanalyzing other people's words like that and trying to change all those little things about myself too. It is nice to hear someone else who has the same experiences as me talking about it, I think it makes it feel more real. Thank you for making these videos and I'm glad you look more comfortable in this video, hope you're doing well.
I feel exactly the same when people say theyve experienced the same sort of thing- thankyou so much for being open 🧡 and yess was definitely more comfortable, probably because no one was at home unlike last time i was recording and had to make sure no one would hear 😂😂 hope you are well as well! 🧡🧡 xx
That's insane. I can't imagine you having social anxiety tbh...like what? You're beautiful. I can't understand why you would ever feel like this. You're in top half in terms of looks. Personality idk but you're beautiful remember that. Greetings from Germany ^^
I can relateeeeeeee af. I’ve been going to the psychiatrist and psychologist for years but I just hate taking pills and they’re so damn expensive
Try nootropics for anxiety. I take L Theanine & omega 3. Ashwaganda, lions mane are some. But ofc do your research on nootropics
You have eyes noses ears and everything else that another person has so what you’re going through someone could have gone through at one point in time. Don’t be so afraid to talk to someone about your problems it could really be a positive life changing experience. Keep strong keep positive keep motivating and keep the almighty with you.
Social anxiety does ruin your not only your life ..but hinders possible relationships to anitha . Best advice - take comfort in what you enjoy and try not to worry about pleasing people. I know it's easier said than done though. .. focus on youself and your strengths. .. all your negative feelings. .. write them down ...it helps with coping
I have only just discovered this video I just want to say @
AnithaKannan thank you for sharing your experience. Major respect to you for being so honest and candid.
I've went through all of this in my current relationship as well!
We're still together, and he's really supportive, but I've definitely ruined many plans because I couldn't get myself to go places.
He's also the type of person who loves going out with friends. I remember one time I literally ran away in the middle of a date because a group of his friends came up and I was so unprepared for the encounter that I completely froze and went into panic mode. I was like "uhhh, i have to get home because *insert excuse here*" and all of his friends were very confused why i left so suddenly haha.
I've definitely been getting better with just trying to stay in situations and not run, but he always tells me im so tense, and I can never relax and enjoy things when we go out. It's definitely a mental block, and isn't easy at all. A big trigger for me is crowded places, like malls. I cannot stay inside a mall for long with feeling like im starting to get dizzy. I think it's because I hyper-focus on myself and how I appear in social situations so much that any normal thing that a human would do starts to feel foreign to me.
He always tries to help me not overthink things and stay in the present moment. He says that I'm always in my own head when in social situations, which is true. Intimacy was a problem also because of the hyper-focusing on myself part, which I guess is in part anxiety and in part insecurity. He definitely had to convince me that I look alright because I did not feel that way at all. It's a vulnerable place to be, I think it takes a while to start feeling comfortable with the other person, especially if you aren't comfortable with yourself to begin with.
I'm really happy to have come across this video, it makes me feel understood, which I don't really feel around many people. People can empathize with you having issues, but many don't understand what it's actually like to battle this every day. They dont understand how real this fear is, and how bad you want to be able to enjoy the company of others, but you just can't.
I wish you good luck on your journey, it's definitely not easy dealing with this, but I think that we are strong for not giving up hope and continuing to try and get better! Sending so much love your way!!!
I understand this, I went years without dating, without beneficial interactions, social or otherwise.
Every relationship just fell apart within a few months, either due to military deployments or an inability to fulfill the needs of my other half.
Long story short, I married a girl Ive known since I was in my late teens, we both had rough upbringing, and understood eachother to a degree that feels almost wrong.
After years of mental health and physical therapy I've learned you have to meet someone else's needs to get your needs met, and if your needs aren't being met, cut ties. Its to difficult giving some of yourself away when you have no clue who YOU are!
Thank you so much for sharing this Anitha. My heart feels for you. I can relate on some very painful levels and this helps a lot. Believe me. Thank you for being so brave. Also I know I don't know you personally, but I can easily tell that you are beautiful on the inside and out and I hope you have taken some of these burdens and lies off of yourself.
I totally admire your honesty and your authenticity. We all have self doubts and insecurities - but not many of us would have the courage you have to be able to open up in a video like you did. Thanks for sharing your experience ❤💜❤
aw thankyou so so much for the lovely message
Going out and pretending you do not have Social anxiety is so relatable. My new boyfriend is a social butterfly and I struggle to stay afloat. He is always so social and is very popular 😩. Also his family gathers a lot and they like me so I feel pressured. Whew! It’s a lot. Lol
wow you must be going through a lot of anxiety. i hope your social anxiety has improved girl. i know that personally must have been hard to deal with. I hope that everything changes for you
Aw thankyou so much hun! 🧡 thanks for understanding, hope you are doing okay xxx
@@anitha_kannan no problem girl. yes i am doing okay
Making this video is a step out of it, yes girl🌸
I never had a boyfriend because of my social anxiety, low self esteem, and being very paranoid and picky. I feel like I’m being constantly judged and never good enough for guys I like. When they leave me hanging after a date, I feel like all my self esteem issues are magnified. It’s a struggle to overcome and very lonely. Like I don’t even want to go on dates anymore because I don’t want to see the disappointment in them or feel disappointed either. It’s also really hard for me to talk when they just talk over me. I try to listen and be nice but my anxiety makes me forget everything I wanna say. then they are uncomfortable and so am I because I can sense their discomfort over me being so awkward and quiet. 😣😞
You have a lot of courage to share this story. I impressed that you can talk about these things. I don't have social anxiety, but I have had trouble dating because of lack of communication skills I guess. I sort of gave up, but I will try again after Covid is over. Anyway, thank you for sharing your story! You talked for 11 minutes and it wasn't boring at all, it was very interesting. Keep the videos coming!
This randomly came across my recommended for whatever reason, but I totally relate to your situation.
I had the "luxury" of being with someone who ended up being unfaithful in the end and that entirely catapaulted me into a treacherous journey with myself where my self confidence and self esteem plummeted to the ground. My social anxiety popped into my life out of nowhere again (I've had it really bad before; was expected after such an incident in my life) to the point where I wouldn't leave my home. And the relationship I had with my body took stage front and center, and has to be one of the worst, torturous and agonizing times of my life ever. I started questioning everything. I started questioning everyone. And this lasted for months, which felt like eons.
Eventually I got professional help, which I really advocate taking when you're in a place like that or even going through a situation like this in general. It helps a lot. I also happen to be a spiritual person, and during this time I really dived into my spiritual side and discovered a lot about myself. I recommend perhaps trying that part out in your life during testing times.
But anyway, the tunnel I was making myself through, that had collapsed into itself, had eventually taught me (more like forced, but taught nonetheless) to find another exit through which I came out with a better sense of reality and of myself. It was NOT easy. It was not an overnight process. I still have walls up around me and now my facade detecting skills are top notch, but some part of me decided to keep on going and trying.
And I guess that's what matters in the end? That you tried and persevered. It can be an arduous journey, but boy oh boy can it be so rewarding if you choose to take it.
And I also think that with all the reasons to not trust people nowadays with how many take human connections for granted and what not, I think if we try to find the ones who will choose us in the end through thick and thin, the journey is totally worth it. But, we gotta try I guess?
A big hug to you and I hope one day you find the confidence again to trust people. (ʘᴗʘ✿)
I love when ppl honestly speak about themselves and what they feel
like others mentioned in the comments dating with social anxiety can be extremely hard for men. Women have their challenges buts it's nothing compared to what a man goes through. An insecure man with low self-esteem is nothing in this world. I am 24 and I have already begun feeling suicidal cuz of this and it's very serious. My advice to anyone who goes through this is to temporarily forget about dating and try to work on themselves.Give yourself time and take small steps forward. Yes, every1 says this but actually it's the best way. In my opinion, we must learn to live with it and train ourselves to ignore it instead of trying to cure it. But by far the worst thing is that almost no1 understands us...
I think this video was very powerful and it helped me understand my current girlfriend a little bit more. Thank you for this amazing video! And I hope you post more about feelings and relationship stuff in the future!
I’m remember feeling locked in a prison that I made, heart palpating, not wanting to go outside, me watching myself watching myself, constant shaking, hating leaving my bed, me wanting to disappear. Then sometime pretending that I’m alright while at the same feeling like I almost tripped constantly
I am 27 and I could never approach a girl due to low self-esteem and social anxiety. This leads me to imagine a relationship in my head to become happy.
Anitha my dear, you don´t need to be sorry for sharing your experiences, it was just great. To my mind, in order to star a new relationship with someone we always need to be humble and honest in so doing, all you will get are good result. And please look at you. YOU ARE SO SMART, HANDSOME, BEAUTIFUL from inside out. Please do not be worried about your belly or your bum that for sure doesn´t has any problem at all. Thanks for sharing, and take care!!!
This entire video made me breakdown and cry. I found this because this is all happening to me right now. I hate myself.
Everyone goes through different battles in life. I’ve noticed anxiety can take on so many forms, and for the people that have it the worst we treat it as if we are sick. I’ve come to realize we are not sick, it is simply an emotion. Everyone has anxiety, if you are alive you have anxiety. It’s what reminds you to feed the dogs, to get to that meeting on time, etc. instead of seeing it as our enemy it’s actually a tool. Repeat it: Anxiety is NOT the enemy. I’ve had chronic anxiety my whole life. Every week I have panic attacks where I can’t breathe, I feel cold all over, my heart is beating far faster than it should and I honestly feel like I’m dying. I’m constantly concerned about it happening that I avoid going places and miss out on life. Miss out on actually living. I made the choice that I need to accept that I get anxious, I’m not sick or dying, Im just feeling an emotion. I’ve started my journey of accepting that anxiety doesn’t just go away. Instead we need to be kind to ourselves and to the voice inside your head that rings the alarm whenever something triggers you. Don’t get angry or upset that you feel this way, talk to yourself in a positive way: you WILL get through this, this feeling WILL pass, and at the end of the day it is just your brain trying to help you. In my relationships I used to get overwhelmed and my flight system would kick in. Overtime I found that it wasn’t just patience with others that mattered, but patience with myself. Believing in myself. And most importantly, loving myself.
Your a champion Anita !!
Ive never been able to relate to someone so much. People like us have to get out more because with you doing videos like this makes me & others feel a bit better :)
Btw ur beautiful 😍
🇨🇦
I can relate to a lot of the things you have said. Anxiety can be so horrible and crippling. You seem very nice and genuine. I hope you can slowly over come it. I'm trying to beat it as well 🙂
I'm glad to hear that you at least you got the chance to have a relationship, to experience love, i dont know if i ever will, this social anxiety makes things 10x harder, just thinking about talking to a girl makes my heart pound hard like crazy, i used to go out în the past but as time pass i dont know its like the anxiety build up or something i dont know how to put it în words, i had a friend that i used to go out with but now he is in other town, since he moved i went out a few Times and then i just didnt, just work and home and know its been years since i saw those People that i use to în real life, i only see them în social media. I dont know its just this constant tension and fear being around people, i dont know why some of us are created this way, maybe we have some kind of different purpose. Another thing is that i am very kind hearted and emmotionally weak, so other people consider you a loser and a reason to laugh because you cant fit in especially în school, i dont know maybe you are suppose to wear this mask as a tough guy to gain respect i guess, wich is something that i just cant do, i cant pretend, everyone would notice. Now i am alone most of the time with my toughts and the only people i speak to are my parents a friend and my cousins wich i see i few times a year wich i think its sad. I have all these feelings and i dont know how to exppress myself, i watch all these TV shows and movies and listen to a lot of music, the only things that bring me Joy. Ok so i just felt like leaving this comment here because i dont talk to anybody about this stuff,I wish you the best of luck and i hope one day we will cure this SA at least to some degree.Also i will leave 2 of my fav songs here
ruclips.net/video/mWRsgZuwf_8/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/vQ3XgMKAgxc/видео.html
Heyyyy 🤗 i just want to say you expressing your feelings on this is AMAZING and im so so appreciative ❤️ and i can relate to so much of what youre saying and cant believe how much we have in common in terms of our situation! When you said you have so much feelings but you dont know how to express it- i could relate so much. I know youre in pain, i can feel it when reading your words! Keep fighting, im going to do whatever i can to show support and will show videos on my update in fighting SA, because im not giving up and letting this control my life, so i will keep u updated with my efforts in fighting this frustrating thing!! ❤️ youre such an inspiration in my eyes for continuing to stay strong! And last night there was a comment on my other video which was really inspiring and seemed like the most realistic way to move forward - its from Marilyn, if you read it, im sure it will help you ☀️ and i love those 2 songs, theyre so good to hear when feeling bummed.
What about these?
m.ruclips.net/video/SFGvmrJ5rjM/видео.html
And this song on loud cheers me up (temporarily) but really works 🥰
m.ruclips.net/video/l6GGu55CjZA/видео.html
Gos bless you, you are the best 👊🏽
@@anitha_kannan Thank you for answering, It means a lot, l saw the comment left by Marilyn and its the thing you should do if you have SA to push yourself în awkard situations, but its so hard it's like going to war, every start is difficult but social anxiety makes it so much harder. Next month i have to move to another country so its so hard because i have to step out of my comfort zone because i have to go do the papers and all and there meeting new people at work, It will be incredible hard for me. I hope some people will notice the problem i have and take me easier, It happened before, People noticing and being kinder, but only a few Times, I hope everything goes well. As for the music you recommended I am a big fan of Sia and never heard of the song, its beautiful. Thank you
I'll leave here some songs în my language that i like, i dont think you will understand but still they are pleasent to listen to, we have some amazing artists
ruclips.net/video/UmZtZqsUQXc/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/JOZdYD-fp0M/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/ZvIDyL2Wnho/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/pptgMvp9uf8/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/UWDRn0soLQI/видео.html
Shes a pretty girl so getting a boyfriend is 10000000x easier then us men who has to chase and do all the dirty work. Im 31 and never had a girlfriend. Ive actually tried to get a GF but failed everytime. They must sense the anxiety in me
I blame my social anxiety to basically being in social isolation almost my entire life. 😔 my parents never had a lot of money so they weren’t able to take me to places I wanted to go and I lived at a ranch with barely any people. So my only way to hang out with anybody is at school, but even then I couldn’t figure out how to interact with anybody and being in elementary, I got teased/bullied because of that. And that pulled me more into myself and I got really scared of social situations in general.
Since then, I made some good friends along the way, had relationships, but it’s still a long road ahead trying to improve myself. My advice is that to accept that you do have social anxiety. It then becomes easier to start becoming the person you always wanted to be
You don’t necessarily need a partner, but it does help. Watching your videos, you seem to be comfortable with yourself. I hope eventually life gets better for you, because as the comments have indicated, your so beautiful, inside and out.
Hey Chris! 🥰 I never thought I would be this comfortable in front of the video camera, but it's because no one is around, which allows me to talk openly and freely and I really wanted to see if other people like me existed! Thankyou for your lovely words, I appreciate it, I hope you are also doing well! God bless you sweetheart 💙
Anitha Kannan - Considering what you are going thru, I think it is incredibly brave, to put yourself out there, to help yourself and especially others. It cannot be easy to deal with the trolls and detractors. But, for such a simple message, I cannot quite see, what there is to be negative about? I really hope, some day, that one person comes along, in your life, and you get that ‘butterflies’ effect, a number of us were lucky to experience. And your whole life, unexpectedly changes. Until then, stay as positive as you can, and keep creating those wonderful videos.
I am so happy to find someone how has been tru the same experience as me. i also have been in a relationship with a guy but it was so defficult like you said, i hated watching movies with him, i was always in mind thinking about other things so i could pretend to enjoy the movie. He told me that he likes blond hair, but i have long brown hair like yours and i dye it bond just because i feeld i had to. he loves my brown hair but something in my head told me no he hated... and worse thing about all of this is loving someone but being with them is so exausting because you are always overthinking things in your mind. Its hard to find someone to understand you bcs i hear al the time that i am goodlooking en handsome but i cant see that...
Ps. Sorry for my bad english bcs normaly i speak dutch.
Heyyy love!! Okay first of all your English is perfect (no where near bad hun) 🤗 I am so so happy you were able to relate to this video, it makes me feel understood! Wow, I really understand what you are saying, especially how you said it is exhausting.... its like the mind just wants to continuously think negatively.... im so sorry you had to feel like this, and i know you have tried to change your hair colour, but trust me dark hair is GORGEOUSSSS, never change your hair beautiful!!! I hope you are okay, I know one day you will realise how beautiful you are, and your future partner will love every single feature of yours and will never make you feel like you need to change your perfect face, hair or body ❤️ you got this ❤️
@@anitha_kannan thanks a lot, i feel like you are a sister to me❤. You to Anitha i wish you al the best in life 🌹 you have a beautiful soul!!
I’m unemployed because of it. I was clinically diagnosed with social anxiety depressive disorder. It’s tough. I have low self esteem and think I’m too broken for relationships and that I don’t deserve happiness.
Damn.. I can definitely relate. This has effected my relationship/dating life. . Crazy how the mind works
I'm simply flabbergasted that you don't realize that you are better than beautiful....!!!!🌻
Hey Kel! 🥰 Omg youre seriously too kind! Thankyou so much for saying such lovely words, I hope youre doing well and having an awesome week 💙
@@anitha_kannan you're welcome Ms. Kannan besides it was my pleasure to tell you that and I hope you also have a beautiful & blessed week 😊🖤💙
Your openness is to be commended
Well done to you 👏
What will it take for you to realise you are absolutely gorgeous. It pains me to see you put yourself down like that.
You beautiful on the outside but clearly beautiful on the inside too.
Keep your head up, smile to world and remember you are beautiful despite what you are telling yourself remember its only you who is thinking like this, we all seemingly agree that youe beautiful inside and out.
Stay safe, stay beautiful and most importantly, stay true ro yourself
God bless you ❤
I also never really had friends that were too attached so it made me attached a lot more to my ex, was the only person I truly felt comfortable around and getting over that is easier said than done.
You are so so truly and naturally beautiful 🥺
I wanna cry right now because I don’t take photos as well
Everyone has come to this world for purpose dont worry about your self ...❤