Do you want to know more why the narcissist loves then hates you all of a sudden? Join me in my free webinar and I'll tell you why! Sign up here: slay.rebeccazung.com/
1.) PUT YOU DOWN IN PUBLIC & PRIVATE 2.) USE YOUR WEAKNESSES 3.) REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS 4.) REGULARLY IGNORE YOUR NEEDS 5.) MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR DOING SOMETHING WRONG 6.) WILL GIVE YOU THE SILENT TREATMENT
And Are DELUSIONAL about my feelings and about my reactive abuse toward abusers. Yuri and all of my electronic abusers over the many years. Their sick 🤮 to try destroy little girls or women and 🔥 will more than likely be theirs
] didn't even realize what a narcissist was until just the last year or so, and now I see that the world is filled with lots of them and how damaging they can be to others AND HOW DAMAGED THEY TRULY ARE! Thanks for helping me take the blinders off and seeing these people for who they really are.
There are many people with narcissistic tendencies but that doesn't mean they are all narcissists. I am married to a narcissist and sociopath and he is definitely one, not just tendencies.
Ignoring the red flags, and not admitting these things exist is truly not reality. You can't fix a cheater, a psychopath, or a narcissist, it's as simple as you can't take blood from stone. these smart phone devices in people's hands have taken them away from real individuality, not until I got closure on my husband I was in the dark. We create our reality and the consciousness of the planet is accelerating. This means people have to become more aware of who they are. When one experiences abuse, you first become aware of the abuse, then realizing you are a victim, With healing and processing comes strong boundaries built by confidence in your worth. After this comes a realization that the experience made you stronger and more of who you are and that the narcissist was simply a vehicle for your growth. Ultimately you then realize we are all a creation of our energetic spiritual energy and the narcissist was and is a part of us. In the end, we become accepting of the experience and knowing we would never go back to the previous unawakened and unenlightened version of ourselves. It is not by any means an easy journey and is filled with pain especially when we incarnate into a family with a parent of such characteristics. There is a plan and it is ultimately to drive us. You would love an awakened version of you. My husband was a deceptive narcissist and sociopath, he would never apologize, I was always made to feel little on the inside, it was pure psychological warfare at its lowest, I suspected infidelity on his path, not until with the help of the developer of an app code name rat9 for accessing his device without having to physically touch it, with a functionality to view deleted chats and messages as well as call logs and in-app chats, I was completely in the dark. There was a Conversation I read on his Instagram Account where he did address me as 'beauty with no brains'. I'm finally going through a divorce with evidences too overwhelming. His device contained secrets that I could never have imagined. If in need of such help, write directly to the developer on email ' ethandavydova at gmail dot com '.
Great you are aware of narcissism. Be grateful it’s knowledge not experience. Trust me, a narcissist in one’s life is a sentence to hell. And for a married man, it’s worse. The law secures a narcissist’s control and there’s no escape without ruin.
My sister is my narcissist. For decades I could never understand her behavior towards me. Love then hate, rage, tirades,up and down, belittling, jealousy. All the fits of rage privately.... never in front of anyone else. If another person entered the room, she was an actress changing character. For a long time I doubted my sanity. I actually went to a doctor for depression and went on medication. My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's so I moved in and became her caregiver during her last three years. After her death, while settling her estate, my sister's behavior escalated. It was hell being around her. The screaming tirades, put downs, not one thing was off limits. I started looking online for answers and found your videos. Bingo! There it is, every single trait matches her. I decided I will take NO MORE ABUSE.... DONE!!! When I sent her the final check from my mother's estate, I removed all her contacts from my phone. She has called and emailed me repeatedly. I don't answer. It's been a one and a half years now and I finally have peace. She still tries to contact me.....I ignore her. I no longer take antidepressants and I feel good! I don't hate her or have ill will for her. I does hurt to know she has such hate towards me and I don't know why. I'm not going to waste anymore time trying to make it work. Her misery is destructive and I can't be exposed to it anymore
It's actually really sinister that narcissists in public pretend to be our most loving & genuine supporter, but behind closed doors they're like our worst enemies, because when we have to sever all ties with them, which inevitably we have to, they're the ones that then make themselves out to be the victim & to the people looking from outside inwards they believe the narcissist when we're made out to be an ungrateful toxic one. We have to stop caring what people think of us so that the manipulation & mind games don't put us in a dark place & keep our no contact boundaries as strong as those at Fort Knox
Kay, I have the exact same situation. It’s been a long, hard journey. My sister has broken my heart and although we are on speaking terms, I feel that I will never be the same with her again. I feel for you. We have aging parents now and I fear for what that is going to turn into. She will try to bully me through this I’m sure. Just gonna pray my way through. Prayers for you too🙏🏼
Oh heck Kay, I know your pain all too well... I ended up with a narc husband I'm certain, because my sister is one. She's a genius IQ with multiple degrees, but has spent most of her life not working, her husband (a soft, gentle, lovely man) is a professor at Boulder University, I can only imagine his immersionin work keeps him going. My sister moved to the US when I was 10 yrs old (50 yrs ago), but has always tried to run my, and my brother's lives, from afar... My trips to visit her were hell, needless to say. Intellectually I can't compete, always belittled, to the point of crying and feeling worthless. My beloved brother (10 yrs my senior) and I were very close and in truth, she was out of our lives for so long, she really didn't know us - but knew all about us in her mind. He was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer (neuroendocrine) in late 2015, fought it bravely to the end, in April 2018. I was there for him, my last hours with him I treasure more than anything. My sister had ample time to travel to attend his memorial, she chose not to, much to the disgust of my few remaining family, and the significant number of people who loved my brother dearly and made the effort to be there, to say farewell. When it came to his estate, she started sending me bizarre emails & calls - she hardly needed money, her husband is very wealthy! She was not in his will... She gaslighted me by emailing my brother's stepdaughter to ask for his will, saying I was mentally unwell and I wasn't going to give her the rightful share of his will!! Not wanting to get involved, his stepdaughter sent the email to my estate lawyer! Who drafted a suitability scathing legal reply, sent it to her and copied in my late brother's stepdaughter and me. For once, it took my sister about a week to respond, with a short sentence to say "she meant no harm to anyone". Yeah right!! That was when I cut her out of my life. She tried to call me some months later, I wouldn't take the calls. Luckily we are separated by vast physical distance..... Due to my current health issues my therapists have advised "use" my husband until I can make a clean break. It's a shame that so many of us get attracted to narcs as partners, as we've been exposed to them in our families.... But we must never give up hope, supporting each other, know we have so much expertise to draw from and change is inevitable - life's only constant! Stay safe above all.
@@jenamirgholi6004 wow I've had projective electronic stalkers gathering information to reabuse m n destroy my life and others around me for waaaay to long. 🔥 is their end
WE didn't CAUSE IT, WE can't CURE IT, WE can't CONTROL IT. FREEDOM WHEN THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN ADVERSELY AFFECTED BY THESE HALFLING narcissist 's. LOVE & HEALINGS ❣️ ❣️❣️
My narc mom verbally “professes” her love for me, but doesn’t ACCEPT anything about me. This constant rejection and oppositional defiance is purely irrational, from her bossy nitpicking to the outright sabotaging of any of my efforts or initiatives. She even “admitted” once (just to placate me) that she gets “annoyed about silly things that don’t matter.” She definitely checks all the boxes of this video. Thank you for calling it what it is: downright hatred.
I know this all too well. You explained my mother too. While I don't want anyone else to go through this with a mother (of all people), I really appreciate you sharing bc it helps others-me- not feel so alone in this.
Totally if you are sick cannot stand it! But their wellbeing is paramount. Oh thi sis so spot on. I never understood this for years. Silent treatment like a punishment. Horrible people do this. These people are the.most vile.
The saddest part about all of this is that they are like starving vampires. No matter how much blood you give them, it will never be enough to fill them up. The only way you can survive is to get away. It’s really hard when it’s your family. Especially when it’s multiple members of your family. It’s like trying to escape in a horror movie. Even when you do escape the panic attacks and memories won’t let you go. It feels like you are dying. You are definitely in a Spiritual war. Is there any hope for humanity?!?!
totally!!! I had cancer, as I was going through chemotherapy he would constantly say” ohh what are you just going to pay in bed again all day??? After treatments I got a perforated intestine and was in extreme pain not only was he annoyed but he made fun of me 8 hours later when I broke down and went to the ER taunting and imitating my moans of pain, while I was getting prepared for emergency surgery at 11 pm on a Sunday night he left me there to go hang out with his friends and do drugs. Today I am FINALLY going to file for a TRO and divorce!! Thank you for all your work, I had no idea what I was dealing with, couldn’t understand how or why anyone could behave this way, he went through every asset I’ve worked my whole life to build, I’m just devastated and these are the more mild of his egregious abuses
Absolutely SPOT ON! Its all projection. They hate themselves and are not happy with themselves deep down inside so they can never love u or be happy for u when good comes your way. I had the misfortune of coming across and dating a female covert narc and she would do the hot cold be nice and loving then 20 minutes later come out and insult me and project on me whats wrong with her and vice versa. IT WAS A TERRIBLE EXPERIENCE!!! She would call me fat but she was insecure about her weight. Then she would come out and put herself down and say she needed to lose weight. I was actually more offended that she put herself down. I can take a person trying to insult me but im more offended the woman i care for is putting herself down. I would be offended if anybody else or her did that. these types are a HOT MESS! They are all over the place. They are constantly projecting their self hatred and insecurities onto people around them. TOX IC!
I always knew my mother hated me. I was born in 1955. It's a cliche to some people, to hear someone say that, but I simply knew it, from about age 4 on. I didn't know why, but I realized from that tender age, that she was indeed and in fact my mortal enemy. Our house burned down in 1959. She told the firemen, her husband and reporters that "a mouse had chewed on the cord of the heater" and that sparks from that had caused the fire. I would certainly have died in that fire, along with my father, if he had not awakened and rescued me through the window of my nursery. She told the mouse story for over 20 years, and we all believed it. I always felt odd about it though, and in my early 20s started having nightmares about that time in my life. I confronted her quite by accident, seeking only to understand the source of my awful dreams... but I unmasked her. I had learned through my research that there is no statute of limitations on arson, murder or attempted murder. She also knew this. Her shock made a white frozen mask of her open mouthed face... an uglier, more grotesque and repulsive thing I've never seen. I had her... finally! absolutely trapped. I've never seen a human being in white-faced shock like that, with eyes rolling back into her head, and speechless and gagging! It was horrendous but also thrilling to watch.... After all her lies, abuse, denial of opportunity, relationship destruction, and manipulations, I had her. That was the single most satisfying moment of my life. To this day, after 30+ years of no contact, she knows that there's a sworn affidavit on file with an attorney in her town, 3000 miles away from where I live now. If she makes a move in my direction, if she calls, sends a message or flying monkey my way, etc., all it will take is a phone call to ruin her life. I don't have to see she's convicted... but the evidence in that affidavit will get her arrested, in jail for at least one night, and then all the neighbors will see her destroyed reputation.... She's 96 and counting. Can't be long now, regardless. Now, that's security. 🎉
God Bless your heart, and your ordeal, a doctor told me once we cannot control who our parents are, we can only distance ourselves from their actions, and move on. Find new friends, loved one and realize it was not our fault.
Feel much for you brother. My Mom too is an utter Narcissist. Had much of a hell life growing getting the bare essentials some school clothes and a plate of food. She wouldn't even buy me a pair of soccer boots. I was 13 years young for God's sake. Was I supposed to go out to work to buy them. And I was good at soccer. My coach said he couldnt put me in the A Team as I never had boots.! The following year I had enough and went at 14 years old to get a part time job as a packer for picknpay after school. I eventually bought my own soccer boots with my own saved up money. She has never ever told me she loves me. I could never understand why when I hugged her that she never hugged back. Both her arms hanging by her sides never ever around me. She has destroyed my character. Runs me down in front of people and has never thanked me for anything I did for her. She lies and changes the subject when confronted and then threatens me. I try to correct her bulshit but then she goes into a rage and fit and starts shouting telling me to F off. The other day she punched me full blast with her fist in my face so hard that she fell on the floor. I'm 57 years now and only realized about 4 months ago that my beloved mother is a full blown Narcissist. I love her but hate who she is. The hurt just grows and all the crap memories of my younger days are surfacing and making me hate her more, so much so, that bad thoughts run through me wishing that God will take her soon.
I made the dangerous mistake of ever allowing the malignant narcissist I divorced to be around my family and friends. Throughout the marriage He was on a campaign to systematically destroy my reputation by spreading false narratives and smear campaigning.. projecting and blame shifting all of his guilt and shame onto me. Whenever there was an illness with my children and I, a crisis in our family , times when the going gets tough and you needed the most support and comfort, you could always count on him doing the complete opposite. He’d attack and punish, invalidate , belittle, berate, and dismiss. Then to top it off stonewall and abandon Kicking you further down.
Yes, yes, yes! It’s horrifying. I’m in a 7 yr empty relationship. It’s debilitating. He moves out in July, then I can start the grieving process and healing my broken❤️🩹 to realize the truth of them and this relationship,he never had my back, yep when the going got tough, I was hospitalized he didn’t once come to see me. I traveled abroad for 3 months. When I returned I found every letter I had written to him unopened shoved in a nightstand drawer. I was stunned… This has been the most brutal fight for my life
My ex narc did the same to me ,telling my family and friends I was lazy and she did everything around the house.It was a total fabrication, the worst was, it had been going on for years ,I was completely unaware of her behaviour.She was always the martyr .
No more greyrocking, ONLY COMPLETE BLOCKING OF EVERY TYPE OF COMMUNICATION NECESSARY. My malignant, coersive and destructive Mother called 911 Police and Paramedics on me this morning in an attempt to destroy my life. COMPLETE SILENCE IS THE ONLY WAY. Also collecting and documenting the barrage of incidents will help when you may have to defend yourself in Court. Thank you!
I used to feel sad and powerless about this - he made me feel like I was a bad person in the whole wide world, esp towards him. Can't wait.. 4 the premiere .. thanks Rebecca
Ignoring the red flags, and not admitting these things exist is truly not reality. You can't fix a cheater, a psychopath, or a narcissist, it's as simple as you can't take blood from stone. these smart phone devices in people's hands have taken them away from real individuality, not until I got closure on my husband I was in the dark. We create our reality and the consciousness of the planet is accelerating. This means people have to become more aware of who they are. When one experiences abuse, you first become aware of the abuse, then realizing you are a victim, With healing and processing comes strong boundaries built by confidence in your worth. After this comes a realization that the experience made you stronger and more of who you are and that the narcissist was simply a vehicle for your growth. Ultimately you then realize we are all a creation of our energetic spiritual energy and the narcissist was and is a part of us. In the end, we become accepting of the experience and knowing we would never go back to the previous unawakened and unenlightened version of ourselves. It is not by any means an easy journey and is filled with pain especially when we incarnate into a family with a parent of such characteristics. There is a plan and it is ultimately to drive us. You would love an awakened version of you. My husband was a deceptive narcissist and sociopath, he would never apologize, I was always made to feel little on the inside, it was pure psychological warfare at its lowest, I suspected infidelity on his path, not until with the help of the developer of an app code name rat9 for accessing his device without having to physically touch it, with a functionality to view deleted chats and messages as well as call logs and in-app chats, I was completely in the dark. There was a Conversation I read on his Instagram Account where he did address me as 'beauty with no brains'. I'm finally going through a divorce with evidences too overwhelming. His device contained secrets that I could never have imagined. If in need of such help, write directly to the developer on email ' ethandavydova at gmail dot com '.
Totally. Narcissists take it as a personal vendetta against them if you get too sick to cook their meals; clean up after them and wait on them literally hand and foot, even though they are a grown adult, fully capable of doing those things for themselves. Forget about a Narcissist helping you if you get sick, unless it directly affects your ability to cook, clean and wait on them hand and foot, then they may do the bare minimum to help you get back up to resume your slave duties.
and yes its so true that how people treat others is a direct reflection of how they feel about themself deep down inside. I always treated people good cause I love myself, like myself am content with myself and happy with myself. They dont cause they are not. I have never felt the need to try and just devalue, insult and put people down out of the blue who havent done anything to me personally. They simply dont deserve that…
Also my mom always manages when she comes out of the house or if I see her let's say 3 times a day when she is desperate for supply she is always wearing different clothes she is always changing her clothes to impress me and everybody who could possibly see her even if she taking out the trash or walking down the sidewalk or raking the leaves in the front yard its all about the clothes and the perfection that people see them for crazy
I feel it is a control for these center of attention, seeking always. And by being this makes themselves able to ,manipulate, gaslight, and get attention. Time and money resources from all who dare play in the web of lies they spin.
@@kgmoney7530 the description is 100% accurate! Crazy that this is an a actual person we're describing. Most will never know until they've dealt with one or suffered a lost dealing with one.
TOTALLY 💯💯💯 Constantly badgering me about my weight, house is a mess, not a good parent... etc Refuse to talk to me in person. Damn, they hate me definitely. 👍🏼💯🔥 BOOOOM - They HATE Themselves!!!That is Solice to me, THANK YOU Rebecca 🤗💞🌺
Stop wondering if you are good enough for them. If they don’t value you, they are not for you. 💙RUclipsr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
I’m dealing with a malignant narcissist as I type this. He’s making vile comments and since I’m not playing into it here comes the threats. Threatening my life, his freedom and my livelihood as a single mom. Says he’s going to teach me a hard lesson and my life is about to drastically change.
Oh no! If you are in an unsafe environment or relationship, please utilize the resources and support that you deserve by calling The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Take care Natalie!
You are right! My vehicle was leaking gas and my narcissist started working on it over a year ago it's still not repaired so I have to walk everywhere I go, he also was cutting down a tree and I saw that the limb was going to fall on the power line to my house over a year ago so I have been without electricity for over a year also. It's starting to get cold here in Oklahoma and he moved out 3 weeks ago knowing that I have no money, no heat, no electricity yet he's living in a house with all the conveniences. I have to walk 2 and a half blocks to charge my phone and 3 miles to the grocery store. He's driving a jeep that I paid for the insurance the tags plus he has 3 other vehicles that I paid all of the same things, I'm a dog groomer and I supported him for 7 years I paid everything gas, electric, water and trash pick up, groceries, his cell phone bill which was always $378 a month because all he did was lay in bed all day on his phone talking to other women. I asked him if he thought it was okay to treat me like this after everything I have done for him and his response was nobody cares if a stupid ass coo coo bitch freezes to death.
Rebecca you are TOTALLY RIGHT as I learned from experience and she used her own children to get her way at any cost. She has Destroyed two children so far and she has worked overtime to destroy the two youngest ones.
All so true, Totally Right!!! I've endured a hellish year of 3 major back surgeries.... just out of hospital again today. My covert narcissistic spouse has put me through completr nastiness, hell on top of hell! Yet your advice has helped me recognize his triggers & I cope better. Thanks so much Rebecca!
TOTALLY! Growing up, when I would get sick, my dad would yell at me to get better and go back to school. My mother would ignore me. Nobody, gave me anything to get better. No medicine, no water, no chicken noodle soup, etc. I ended spending time in the sick room in High School because at least nobody yelled at me there. Also, there's no doubt in my mind that the emotional abuse from them is one of the reasons why I was frequently sick. Another reason, my mother purposely left wet clothes in the wash machine for days to mildew, and when she would do dishes she would leave water at the bottom of cups and bowls with them right side up so that there would be stinky growth in there too.
@@violet18 ... Yes. she was insanely jealous even of her own family. She didn't want me to have friends. My clothes stunk and only a few people that understood or had a dull nose were my friends. She also didn't want me to do well in school. My parents would never admit to this, but after awhile I figured it out.
Thank you Rebecca for all of your videos which I believe is helping so many people from all over the earth 🌍. From what I have encountered, most narcissists have injuries / wounds while growing up. Thus they create an alter ego which is a “false self” as a coping mechanism. When left unhealed : emotionally / socially / mentally/ psychologically… these persons allow the spirit of Jezebel to enter them. Which is a spirit that - manipulates / control / entice / torment / torture and makes your life miserable. When I was delivered from such a person… I prayed alot and God revealed that He has delivered me from a “stronghold”. That’s why it is not easy to leave a narcissist right away. They have learnt to “mind control and mind condition” you for some time through their love 💕 bombing / silent treatment / gas lighting / deceptions / lies etc. I thank GOD for saving me from such a person with narcissistic traits. The words given me was : “ I, The Lord have delivered you from a stronghold . It could have totally destroyed your life. You have done the right thing and I have heard your prayers and seen your tears. “ May God who delivered me, also deliver you from this stronghold and free you from all their clutches in JESUS name. Amen 🙏 I don’t think you can rescue / save a narcissist. They are like an empty shelf of a person who is infested with demonic spirits. Run ))))) and ask GOD to deliver you.
You are absolutely right when my Ex Toxic Narc got sick or wasn't feeling well. No matter what it was I was always always there for her. Just before I Dumped last year. I had gotten sick stomach troubles whatever I phone in the really morning to let her know. Did not ask me if I needed anything I never heard from her till 6:30 that evening. Now she can be someone eles PROBLEM.
I wish I had seen this years ago. You ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT ALL OF THIS. I lived through this for years and finally I can let this go and this covert narcissist can go to you know where.
Totally! Thank you for all you do for us, Rebecca. I recently moved out of a covert narc roommate situation - - Yes!! She often mentioned how others were playing a victim role. Can you tell me why she did this? I am guessing it was because she saw herself as a victim. Love and support to you and all here, Jo
Totally! We could compare ankle injuries here, but I was the one having to drive him to all his appointments for months! I merely sprained mine & suddenly had /0/ value anymore.
I am married to a narcissist who is also a sociopath. The abuse has gone on since I met him. Of course I didn't know he was one until the last year. We've been married for 36 years. The abuse is relentless. I want out but can't leave due to financial abuse 😕 and I can't afford an attorney to fight him for half of everything. I've stopped doing anything for him and we sleep in separate bedrooms for about 3 years now. But the abuse has gotten worse since I stopped doing things for him. But I hate him so much now I can't and won't go back to kissing his ass even if it meant he would stop. Which he wont.
Totally! Significant other almost always sides with the other person against me, when this person has absolutely no knowledge of the situation being discussed. For instance, tries to make me look foolish in front of the tax accountant when I’m the one who spent months gathering and organizing our documents while the narc did nothing to help. She agreed with the carpet installer when I’m the one who has taken courses on home building (woodworking and electrical and metal work, and so on) and does all the maintenance in and around the house while she does next to nothing. Had to warn her, like a small child, before any business-type meeting to basically let me do the talking. Sorry if it sounds Chauvinistic, but to me it's just setting a boundary with this mentally ill person. Boundaries have actually put a stop to her public putdowns - doing this plus discussing matters with her beforehand to have her input. Sometimes, lately, I’ve been handling such business related matters without her being present. Rebecca knows exactly what she’s talking about!
TOTALLY. Rebecca, Your spot on. I Love you= I HATE AND USE YOU! 16 months Narc free after over 33 years with one. I use to say `You do not love yourself, `You take no Responsability,`. Etc...I had no idea what this was. That Silent treatment, The Physical , Emotional, Mental and Spiritual abuse was nonstop. Finally I let go Emotionally in 2018. Oh how bad it got. He Threatened to kill me and strangled me twice. I Finally got The Courage to call The Police and kicked him out. It is not easy as My Shoulders are still quite tense. Breathing Exercises help a lot! It´s so much Better now. I have my Purpose and peace back. I Divorced him and have My Boundaries up. I had to lose him to find me. I hope My story helped someone reading this. It feels like you will never recover.You will and You got this Survivors! Education on this matter is key. Thank you again Rebecca! You have helped me Immensely!
I am glad you’re making this video I didn’t know what Narcissist is i thought he was just a very rude person , heartless…I stopped talking to him blocked him in social media but uses our common friends to know what im up to will post pictures, I was really hurt , I sometimes think of the good times even wandered if he really loved me
U know what so sick about a narc they do secretly HATE US BUT WILL USE US IF I DON'T LIKE SOMEONE I CAN'T PLAY PRETEND THEY R DISGUSTING PPL TO THE CORE
The corrosive and evil repercussions of jealousy in narcissists is akin to this and you should do a segment on it. I am not jealous of you, nor am I of narcissists who may possibly be. But I have other issues..like living in fear of spontaneous human combustion.
Totally. When I was sick. I wasn't even able to walk from a spinal injury and never took me to the ER. Waited 2 whole days. His mama finally took me to the ER. He didn't even go with me. I see it all now. Divorce almost final.
Oh yeah my dad came to the hospital when I was in for 10 days, and put some guult trips on me like I was just acting up. Theres so many layers to all of this. Ive lived in guilt and so psychologically hurt and my self image damaged growing up with a parent like this. I cant tell him when Im hurt or he gets angry me that I dared to be hurt. As if hes ibsulted and I have no right to feel hurt. Its mind boggling that someone who is supposed to love you, who you look up to, is continually threatened by you and competitive. Ive been undercut all my life. He does alot of loving things dads are supposed to do and i get lovebombed sometimes, but shocked and surprised at the way I get treated around. Not sure why Ive been such a threat when he is is own different person with his own accomplishments. Never got mixed up with one of these guys in dating until my 40s and didnt see it coming. I may be single forever after that. Its been 2 years and not sure Ill ever heal.
Yes. My covert AND overt narc brother, whom I was unfortunately living with due to circumstances, took over what food came in to the house and cooking it .. he’s awful and extremely particular at it but I let it slide. But one of these ‘dinners’ had some meat in the salad that didn’t taste right but nothing obvious . Well I got sick as a dog and it took 2 days to recover from the illness. I even threw up outside at 3 AM as I tried to get fresh air from not being able to sleep well .. when I told him I got so sick and showed him my puke in the garden . All he said was “well I didn’t get sick”. that’s it . I immediately stopped eating with him or anything he ‘cooked’ and had to go out for dinner as all the food in the house was controlled by him .. keep in mind he is no pauper with regard to money .. plenty of it. I was able to move out 2 - 3 weeks later and 6 weeks out at peace around ppl who are kind and loving type people and friends. I do believe my brother tried to poison me though I know a thousand excuses would be tossed up for plausible deniability .. he had rat poison around as I guess the rats know where the devil lives and don’t mind the evil .. no offense to rats.
@@RebeccaZungEsq yes, thank you. 3.5 months later got a great job with nice ppl. I’m still there and still like it though quite complex. I think getting away from the toxicity and finding peace made all the difference in getting a good new job .. emotional state was, and is, so much better .. also realized my other 5 siblings aren’t particularly functional either, same parents .. some were favored over others and being the blacksheep and youngest made it the worst
I know my malignant mother hates me she just told me yesterday im smart enough to get that out of her and I still deal with her every day because I sleep on the side of the house on the ground with my dogs every day
@@jeanettecook1088 that's an interesting question I dont think I can since I seem to be able to manage this relationship with Rebecca help she has opened my eyes for sure; I could go live on the streets in California which is far more dangerous and knowing that I have a 14 year old dog and the other 3 I've had for 12 years I don't see any way out also my mother she said just last week she wants to poison my dogs just last week so I cannot trust anybody they depend on me and im will give up my life for them to defend them I've had some close calls in the last 12 years already.
*Everything I did was wrong* when it suited him... *his way of ignoring me was to block me on whatsapp and banish me to emails only* I now realise this was to hide that he was chatting to other women on there.. The ex narc used to make me feel like I had to explain myself all the time, such as explain why I was upset over the bad thing they did and then I's be 'in trouble' for doing so... *Yes they do hate you* they only "love" you when you do and say everything in the way they want you to including accepting the terrible way they treat you.. *Thank you Rebecca*
TOTALLY ! All so true completely ! Thank you Rebecca for you being here with all your videos and everyone comments here & may you all have a wonderful blessed night 🙏
¹ they put you down in public or private ² they use your weaknesses against you ³ they refuse to acknowledge your accomplishments ⁴ they regularly ignore your needs ⁵ you always feel like you're doing something wrong (messed up) ⁶ often get the silent treatment from them *they hate everybody because they hate themselves*
I totally agree with everything you pointed out in this video Rebecca! Except the last one, I believe that some of the narcissists I encountered in my life actually adore themselves. They would put others down in a heartbeat or sacrifice everyone for their own benefits and agenda WITHOUT the slightest hesitation or remorse whatsoever. Some of the narcissists are the most avid fans of themselves in my opinion. That is one of the reasons they can constantly keep the act of a perfect person/victim - no matter who fake it is. They are their own fuel.
I have this one person that's always bragging and making things a competition. He basically talked about how he and his new wife are looking at 850k+ houses. I said, well I think that's a little excessive. He went off on me. I did it because I was tired of the constant bragging. Was I being an asshole or a narcissist by saying that? Now, we haven't spoken in over six months.
It is true. People teach me how to assert my standing, be strong, be firm and he assertive. Often it pushes me to be beyond my old self. Yet to have these elements, I have learned what arguments I need to push or for me to be silent. To be direct, they have pushed me to have value for myself. It is a very humble journey to see the light and to be free. Freedom for me is pure bliss. I don't need to answer their needy f*lippy questions. Yes, they have their instant frustrated tantrums. But all you have to do is to watch them go into a nutty frenzy. Be strong to those who need to know how best to deal with them. 😊
i truely do not comprehend that there so many people who are underdeveloped because of intention. their are so many adults who should not have been born because they are hazardous in the mind.
Totally.. they you asking what we going to do so they can point the finger at you when it go wrong. When it is to good they let it go wrong. Silent treatment when you on coffee, eat you're dinner, nice to have a mobile so you can see you tube and let them hear Rebecca.😁
You're soooo right!!! "The Reverend " never allowed me to get sick... I simply wasn't allowed to. I actually broke down and cried on front of her when I was sick, running around the house for her, answering her phone calls... and she looks down on me and said "I was about to compliment you for how strong you are, but now you're just choosing to be weak!" She will very exposed for everything she did!!!
We used to get sent home from school because we'd been sent in too sick and used to beg to be able to stay because it was easier to have to stay at school than deal with a narc when you're sick. If there was a physical injury then you'd get it a little easier because it would make them look bad if they were seen to be nasty about it or it painted a picture of them as "caring" but you still had to be careful behind closed doors.
![Kodak Black - Catch Fire [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/A4ch-olIuZo/mqdefault.jpg)
Do you want to know more why the narcissist loves then hates you all of a sudden? Join me in my free webinar and I'll tell you why! Sign up here: slay.rebeccazung.com/
See you all there! 🙂🙌❤
@@RebeccaZungEsqyou’re my best friend I really like you Rebecca ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@@RebeccaZungEsqyou’re very pretty
1.) PUT YOU DOWN IN PUBLIC & PRIVATE
2.) USE YOUR WEAKNESSES
3.) REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS
4.) REGULARLY IGNORE YOUR NEEDS
5.) MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR DOING SOMETHING WRONG
6.) WILL GIVE YOU THE SILENT TREATMENT
Yep, yep & more yeps!
So true my friend, they are possessed with some wicked spirits
And Are DELUSIONAL about my feelings and about my reactive abuse toward abusers. Yuri and all of my electronic abusers over the many years. Their sick 🤮 to try destroy little girls or women and 🔥 will more than likely be theirs
All checks 😢
They don't want other people to like you!
So very true! They will tell malicious lies about others to anyone that will listen. Stay away from them!!!!!!
Jealous little miserable people.
You are 100% right. I could tell some nice stories!
] didn't even realize what a narcissist was until just the last year or so, and now I see that the world is filled with lots of them and how damaging they can be to others AND HOW DAMAGED THEY TRULY ARE! Thanks for helping me take the blinders off and seeing these people for who they really are.
There are many people with narcissistic tendencies but that doesn't mean they are all narcissists. I am married to a narcissist and sociopath and he is definitely one, not just tendencies.
Same here
Me too!
Ignoring the red flags, and not admitting these things exist is truly not reality. You can't fix a cheater, a psychopath, or a narcissist, it's as simple as you can't take blood from stone. these smart phone devices in people's hands have taken them away from real individuality, not until I got closure on my husband I was in the dark. We create our reality and the consciousness of the planet is accelerating. This means people have to become more aware of who they are. When one experiences abuse, you first become aware of the abuse, then realizing you are a victim, With healing and processing comes strong boundaries built by confidence in your worth.
After this comes a realization that the experience made you stronger and more of who you are and that the narcissist was simply a vehicle for your growth. Ultimately you then realize we are all a creation of our energetic spiritual energy and the narcissist was and is a part of us. In the end, we become accepting of the experience and knowing we would never go back to the previous unawakened and unenlightened version of ourselves. It is not by any means an easy journey and is filled with pain especially when we incarnate into a family with a parent of such characteristics. There is a plan and it is ultimately to drive us. You would love an awakened version of you.
My husband was a deceptive narcissist and sociopath, he would never apologize, I was always made to feel little on the inside, it was pure psychological warfare at its lowest, I suspected infidelity on his path, not until with the help of the developer of an app code name rat9 for accessing his device without having to physically touch it, with a functionality to view deleted chats and messages as well as call logs and in-app chats, I was completely in the dark. There was a Conversation I read on his Instagram Account where he did address me as 'beauty with no brains'. I'm finally going through a divorce with evidences too overwhelming. His device contained secrets that I could never have imagined. If in need of such help, write directly to the developer on email ' ethandavydova at gmail dot com '.
Great you are aware of narcissism. Be grateful it’s knowledge not experience. Trust me, a narcissist in one’s life is a sentence to hell. And for a married man, it’s worse. The law secures a narcissist’s control and there’s no escape without ruin.
They treat other people much better than their significant other.
If a narcissist can get something from other people, they will surely treat them well. Stay strong! 💪
@@RebeccaZungEsq A relationship with a Narc is like a long con game.
@@RebeccaZungEsq Supply!
"They hate everyone because they harbor self-hate".
I never thought of it this way exactly. I did not realize they hated everyone.
My sister is my narcissist. For decades I could never understand her behavior towards me. Love then hate, rage, tirades,up and down, belittling, jealousy. All the fits of rage privately.... never in front of anyone else. If another person entered the room, she was an actress changing character. For a long time I doubted my sanity. I actually went to a doctor for depression and went on medication.
My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's so I moved in and became her caregiver during her last three years. After her death, while settling her estate, my sister's behavior escalated. It was hell being around her. The screaming tirades, put downs, not one thing was off limits. I started looking online for answers and found your videos. Bingo! There it is, every single trait matches her. I decided I will take NO MORE ABUSE.... DONE!!! When I sent her the final check from my mother's estate, I removed all her contacts from my phone. She has called and emailed me repeatedly. I don't answer. It's been a one and a half years now and I finally have peace. She still tries to contact me.....I ignore her. I no longer take antidepressants and I feel good! I don't hate her or have ill will for her. I does hurt to know she has such hate towards me and I don't know why. I'm not going to waste anymore time trying to make it work. Her misery is destructive and I can't be exposed to it anymore
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾GOOD FOR YOU KAY!
It's actually really sinister that narcissists in public pretend to be our most loving & genuine supporter, but behind closed doors they're like our worst enemies,
because when we have to sever all ties with them, which inevitably we have to, they're the ones that then make themselves out to be the victim & to the people looking from outside inwards they believe the narcissist when we're made out to be an ungrateful toxic one.
We have to stop caring what people think of us so that the manipulation & mind games don't put us in a dark place & keep our no contact boundaries as strong as those at Fort Knox
My brother is my narcissist, and I can relate to this so much. A sibling narcissist is so hard to deal with but I’m glad I’m on the road to healing!
Kay, I have the exact same situation. It’s been a long, hard journey. My sister has broken my heart and although we are on speaking terms, I feel that I will never be the same with her again. I feel for you. We have aging parents now and I fear for what that is going to turn into. She will try to bully me through this I’m sure. Just gonna pray my way through. Prayers for you too🙏🏼
Oh heck Kay, I know your pain all too well... I ended up with a narc husband I'm certain, because my sister is one.
She's a genius IQ with multiple degrees, but has spent most of her life not working, her husband (a soft, gentle, lovely man) is a professor at Boulder University, I can only imagine his immersionin work keeps him going.
My sister moved to the US when I was 10 yrs old (50 yrs ago), but has always tried to run my, and my brother's lives, from afar...
My trips to visit her were hell, needless to say. Intellectually I can't compete, always belittled, to the point of crying and feeling worthless.
My beloved brother (10 yrs my senior) and I were very close and in truth, she was out of our lives for so long, she really didn't know us - but knew all about us in her mind.
He was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer (neuroendocrine) in late 2015, fought it bravely to the end, in April 2018.
I was there for him, my last hours with him I treasure more than anything.
My sister had ample time to travel to attend his memorial, she chose not to, much to the disgust of my few remaining family, and the significant number of people who loved my brother dearly and made the effort to be there, to say farewell.
When it came to his estate, she started sending me bizarre emails & calls - she hardly needed money, her husband is very wealthy! She was not in his will...
She gaslighted me by emailing my brother's stepdaughter to ask for his will, saying I was mentally unwell and I wasn't going to give her the rightful share of his will!!
Not wanting to get involved, his stepdaughter sent the email to my estate lawyer! Who drafted a suitability scathing legal reply, sent it to her and copied in my late brother's stepdaughter and me.
For once, it took my sister about a week to respond, with a short sentence to say "she meant no harm to anyone". Yeah right!!
That was when I cut her out of my life. She tried to call me some months later, I wouldn't take the calls.
Luckily we are separated by vast physical distance.....
Due to my current health issues my therapists have advised "use" my husband until I can make a clean break.
It's a shame that so many of us get attracted to narcs as partners, as we've been exposed to them in our families....
But we must never give up hope, supporting each other, know we have so much expertise to draw from and change is inevitable - life's only constant!
Stay safe above all.
Why will the courts not recognize psychological, emotional, financial abuse??
Because they themselves pioneer these wonderful qualities.
@@jenamirgholi6004 wow I've had projective electronic stalkers gathering information to reabuse m n destroy my life and others around me for waaaay to long. 🔥 is their end
WE didn't CAUSE IT,
WE can't CURE IT,
WE can't CONTROL IT.
FREEDOM WHEN THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN ADVERSELY AFFECTED BY THESE HALFLING narcissist 's.
LOVE & HEALINGS ❣️ ❣️❣️
Hugs and healing to you! ❤
Thank you, Vicki 🙏🏻💞
My narc mom verbally “professes” her love for me, but doesn’t ACCEPT anything about me. This constant rejection and oppositional defiance is purely irrational, from her bossy nitpicking to the outright sabotaging of any of my efforts or initiatives. She even “admitted” once (just to placate me) that she gets “annoyed about silly things that don’t matter.” She definitely checks all the boxes of this video. Thank you for calling it what it is: downright hatred.
Sorry that you have to go through that! Please stay strong and if you need extra support, feel free to email support@rebeccazung.com.
@@RebeccaZungEsq Thank you for offering the additional support and building awareness around this insidious form of abuse. 🌺
This is the comment right here!
My “mother” is a Narc too. The best thing to do is go No contact it burns them to their dark soul.
I know this all too well. You explained my mother too. While I don't want anyone else to go through this with a mother (of all people), I really appreciate you sharing bc it helps others-me- not feel so alone in this.
I'm glad you got to the part of how they hate themselves.. it's like they're just stuck in putting a negative spin on everything 🤷♂️
Totally if you are sick cannot stand it! But their wellbeing is paramount. Oh thi sis so spot on. I never understood this for years. Silent treatment like a punishment. Horrible people do this. These people are the.most vile.
The saddest part about all of this is that they are like starving vampires. No matter how much blood you give them, it will never be enough to fill them up. The only way you can survive is to get away. It’s really hard when it’s your family. Especially when it’s multiple members of your family. It’s like trying to escape in a horror movie. Even when you do escape the panic attacks and memories won’t let you go. It feels like you are dying. You are definitely in a Spiritual war. Is there any hope for humanity?!?!
totally!!! I had cancer, as I was going through chemotherapy he would constantly say” ohh what are you just going to pay in bed again all day??? After treatments I got a perforated intestine and was in extreme pain not only was he annoyed but he made fun of me 8 hours later when I broke down and went to the ER taunting and imitating my moans of pain, while I was getting prepared for emergency surgery at 11 pm on a Sunday night he left me there to go hang out with his friends and do drugs. Today I am FINALLY going to file for a TRO and divorce!! Thank you for all your work, I had no idea what I was dealing with, couldn’t understand how or why anyone could behave this way, he went through every asset I’ve worked my whole life to build, I’m just devastated and these are the more mild of his egregious abuses
And then they ask you "Why do you hate me so much?"
Absolutely SPOT ON! Its all projection. They hate themselves and are not happy with themselves deep down inside so they can never love u or be happy for u when good comes your way. I had the misfortune of coming across and dating a female covert narc and she would do the hot cold be nice and loving then 20 minutes later come out and insult me and project on me whats wrong with her and vice versa. IT WAS A TERRIBLE EXPERIENCE!!! She would call me fat but she was insecure about her weight. Then she would come out and put herself down and say she needed to lose weight. I was actually more offended that she put herself down. I can take a person trying to insult me but im more offended the woman i care for is putting herself down. I would be offended if anybody else or her did that. these types are a HOT MESS! They are all over the place. They are constantly projecting their self hatred and insecurities onto people around them. TOX IC!
Totally. Spot on. Pay attention to their words and behaviors objectively...DO NOT INTERNALIZE THEIR WORDS and take it personally.
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
I always knew my mother hated me. I was born in 1955. It's a cliche to some people, to hear someone say that, but I simply knew it, from about age 4 on.
I didn't know why, but I realized from that tender age, that she was indeed and in fact my mortal enemy. Our house burned down in 1959. She told the firemen, her husband and reporters that "a mouse had chewed on the cord of the heater" and that sparks from that had caused the fire. I would certainly have died in that fire, along with my father, if he had not awakened and rescued me through the window of my nursery.
She told the mouse story for over 20 years, and we all believed it. I always felt odd about it though, and in my early 20s started having nightmares about that time in my life. I confronted her quite by accident, seeking only to understand the source of my awful dreams... but I unmasked her. I had learned through my research that there is no statute of limitations on arson, murder or attempted murder. She also knew this. Her shock made a white frozen mask of her open mouthed face... an uglier, more grotesque and repulsive thing I've never seen. I had her... finally! absolutely trapped. I've never seen a human being in white-faced shock like that, with eyes rolling back into her head, and speechless and gagging! It was horrendous but also thrilling to watch....
After all her lies, abuse, denial of opportunity, relationship destruction, and manipulations, I had her.
That was the single most satisfying moment of my life.
To this day, after 30+ years of no contact, she knows that there's a sworn affidavit on file with an attorney in her town, 3000 miles away from where I live now. If she makes a move in my direction, if she calls, sends a message or flying monkey my way, etc., all it will take is a phone call to ruin her life. I don't have to see she's convicted... but the evidence in that affidavit will get her arrested, in jail for at least one night, and then all the neighbors will see her destroyed reputation.... She's 96 and counting. Can't be long now, regardless.
Now, that's security.
🎉
Thanks for sharing
God Bless your heart, and your ordeal, a doctor told me once we cannot control who our parents are, we can only distance ourselves from their actions, and move on. Find new friends, loved one and realize it was not our fault.
Amazing and very sad story. God bless your heart.
WOW! So sorry you went through that. Glad you found out the truth. Glad you're still with us.
Feel much for you brother. My Mom too is an utter Narcissist. Had much of a hell life growing getting the bare essentials some school clothes and a plate of food. She wouldn't even buy me a pair of soccer boots. I was 13 years young for God's sake. Was I supposed to go out to work to buy them. And I was good at soccer. My coach said he couldnt put me in the A Team as I never had boots.!
The following year I had enough and went at 14 years old to get a part time job as a packer for picknpay after school. I eventually bought my own soccer boots with my own saved up money.
She has never ever told me she loves me. I could never understand why when I hugged her that she never hugged back. Both her arms hanging by her sides never ever around me.
She has destroyed my character. Runs me down in front of people and has never thanked me for anything I did for her. She lies and changes the subject when confronted and then threatens me. I try to correct her bulshit but then she goes into a rage and fit and starts shouting telling me to F off. The other day she punched me full blast with her fist in my face so hard that she fell on the floor.
I'm 57 years now and only realized about 4 months ago that my beloved mother is a full blown Narcissist.
I love her but hate who she is.
The hurt just grows and all the crap memories of my younger days are surfacing and making me hate her more, so much so, that bad thoughts run through me wishing that God will take her soon.
Totally you are correct I'm feeling so sick of my stomach right now is just amazing
Oh my god I am living with this person 30 years
I made the dangerous mistake of ever allowing the malignant narcissist I divorced to be around my family and friends. Throughout the marriage He was on a campaign to systematically destroy my reputation by spreading false narratives and smear campaigning.. projecting and blame shifting all of his guilt and shame onto me.
Whenever there was an illness with my children and I, a crisis in our family , times when the going gets tough and you needed the most support and comfort, you could always count on him doing the complete opposite.
He’d attack and punish, invalidate , belittle, berate, and dismiss.
Then to top it off stonewall and abandon
Kicking you further down.
Yes, yes, yes! It’s horrifying. I’m in a 7 yr empty relationship. It’s debilitating. He moves out in July, then I can start the grieving process and healing my broken❤️🩹 to realize the truth of them and this relationship,he never had my back, yep when the going got tough, I was hospitalized he didn’t once come to see me. I traveled abroad for 3 months. When I returned I found every letter I had written to him unopened shoved in a nightstand drawer. I was stunned…
This has been the most brutal fight for my life
My ex narc did the same to me ,telling my family and friends I was lazy and she did everything around the house.It was a total fabrication, the worst was, it had been going on for years ,I was completely unaware of her behaviour.She was always the martyr .
Exactly!
No more greyrocking, ONLY COMPLETE BLOCKING OF EVERY TYPE OF COMMUNICATION NECESSARY. My malignant, coersive and destructive Mother called 911 Police and Paramedics on me this morning in an attempt to destroy my life. COMPLETE SILENCE IS THE ONLY WAY. Also collecting and documenting the barrage of incidents will help when you may have to defend yourself in Court. Thank you!
I used to feel sad and powerless about this - he made me feel like I was a bad person in the whole wide world, esp towards him.
Can't wait.. 4 the premiere .. thanks Rebecca
Narcissists will always make you out as the bad person. Believe in yourself and stay strong! You got this!
You are totally right! Thank you, Rebecca, for all you do!
They never talk to me personally. They never show up. Constantly moving the Goalposts & Future Faking💯💯💯
Ugh! That can be very frustrating but nothing you can't beat. You got this! Email support@rebeccazung.com in case you need extra support.
@@RebeccaZungEsq 🤗💞👍🏼💯🌺
Ignoring the red flags, and not admitting these things exist is truly not reality. You can't fix a cheater, a psychopath, or a narcissist, it's as simple as you can't take blood from stone. these smart phone devices in people's hands have taken them away from real individuality, not until I got closure on my husband I was in the dark. We create our reality and the consciousness of the planet is accelerating. This means people have to become more aware of who they are. When one experiences abuse, you first become aware of the abuse, then realizing you are a victim, With healing and processing comes strong boundaries built by confidence in your worth.
After this comes a realization that the experience made you stronger and more of who you are and that the narcissist was simply a vehicle for your growth. Ultimately you then realize we are all a creation of our energetic spiritual energy and the narcissist was and is a part of us. In the end, we become accepting of the experience and knowing we would never go back to the previous unawakened and unenlightened version of ourselves. It is not by any means an easy journey and is filled with pain especially when we incarnate into a family with a parent of such characteristics. There is a plan and it is ultimately to drive us. You would love an awakened version of you.
My husband was a deceptive narcissist and sociopath, he would never apologize, I was always made to feel little on the inside, it was pure psychological warfare at its lowest, I suspected infidelity on his path, not until with the help of the developer of an app code name rat9 for accessing his device without having to physically touch it, with a functionality to view deleted chats and messages as well as call logs and in-app chats, I was completely in the dark. There was a Conversation I read on his Instagram Account where he did address me as 'beauty with no brains'. I'm finally going through a divorce with evidences too overwhelming. His device contained secrets that I could never have imagined. If in need of such help, write directly to the developer on email ' ethandavydova at gmail dot com '.
Totally. Narcissists take it as a personal vendetta against them if you get too sick to cook their meals; clean up after them and wait on them literally hand and foot, even though they are a grown adult, fully capable of doing those things for themselves. Forget about a Narcissist helping you if you get sick, unless it directly affects your ability to cook, clean and wait on them hand and foot, then they may do the bare minimum to help you get back up to resume your slave duties.
and yes its so true that how people treat others is a direct reflection of how they feel about themself deep down inside. I always treated people good cause I love myself, like myself am content with myself and happy with myself. They dont cause they are not. I have never felt the need to try and just devalue, insult and put people down out of the blue who havent done anything to me personally. They simply dont deserve that…
Also my mom always manages when she comes out of the house or if I see her let's say 3 times a day when she is desperate for supply she is always wearing different clothes she is always changing her clothes to impress me and everybody who could possibly see her even if she taking out the trash or walking down the sidewalk or raking the leaves in the front yard its all about the clothes and the perfection that people see them for crazy
I feel it is a control for these center of attention, seeking always. And by being this makes themselves able to ,manipulate, gaslight, and get attention. Time and money resources from all who dare play in the web of lies they spin.
@@kgmoney7530 the description is 100% accurate! Crazy that this is an a actual person we're describing. Most will never know until they've dealt with one or suffered a lost dealing with one.
TOTALLY 💯💯💯
Constantly badgering me about my weight, house is a mess, not a good parent... etc Refuse to talk to me in person. Damn, they hate me definitely. 👍🏼💯🔥 BOOOOM - They HATE Themselves!!!That is Solice to me, THANK YOU Rebecca 🤗💞🌺
They definitely will do anything to make you feel bad. You're great and stay strong! You got this! 💪
My same scenario
@@RebeccaZungEsq 💞🙏🏼🌺Heaven Bless you Rebecca! Bless you!!! 🌺🙏🏼💞
Amen it's not me or my fault!
Alot of the time it seems like he's jealous. He sees the world as the have and have not. It's against him, and he's the eternal victim.
Stop wondering if you are good enough for them. If they don’t value you, they are not for you.
💙RUclipsr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Rebecca Zung, thank you for your videos . . . very helpful.
Wow. This completely hits home for me. I can think of a few people who have been in my life (past and present) that are like this.
R. You are simply the best!❤ Keeping us real!
I’m dealing with a malignant narcissist as I type this. He’s making vile comments and since I’m not playing into it here comes the threats. Threatening my life, his freedom and my livelihood as a single mom. Says he’s going to teach me a hard lesson and my life is about to drastically change.
Oh no! If you are in an unsafe environment or relationship, please utilize the resources and support that you deserve by calling The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
Take care Natalie!
Seen it as they resent you because they need your supply. That is also the key to dealing with them.
You are right! My vehicle was leaking gas and my narcissist started working on it over a year ago it's still not repaired so I have to walk everywhere I go, he also was cutting down a tree and I saw that the limb was going to fall on the power line to my house over a year ago so I have been without electricity for over a year also. It's starting to get cold here in Oklahoma and he moved out 3 weeks ago knowing that I have no money, no heat, no electricity yet he's living in a house with all the conveniences. I have to walk 2 and a half blocks to charge my phone and 3 miles to the grocery store. He's driving a jeep that I paid for the insurance the tags plus he has 3 other vehicles that I paid all of the same things, I'm a dog groomer and I supported him for 7 years I paid everything gas, electric, water and trash pick up, groceries, his cell phone bill which was always $378 a month because all he did was lay in bed all day on his phone talking to other women. I asked him if he thought it was okay to treat me like this after everything I have done for him and his response was nobody cares if a stupid ass coo coo bitch freezes to death.
Right, they think you are faking illness.
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
Rebecca you are TOTALLY RIGHT as I learned from experience and she used her own children to get her way at any cost. She has Destroyed two children so far and she has worked overtime to destroy the two youngest ones.
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
All so true, Totally Right!!! I've endured a hellish year of 3 major back surgeries.... just out of hospital again today. My covert narcissistic spouse has put me through completr nastiness, hell on top of hell! Yet your advice has helped me recognize his triggers & I cope better. Thanks so much Rebecca!
I pray that when you get better you will divorce him!!!
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
TOTALLY! Growing up, when I would get sick, my dad would yell at me to get better and go back to school. My mother would ignore me. Nobody, gave me anything to get better. No medicine, no water, no chicken noodle soup, etc. I ended spending time in the sick room in High School because at least nobody yelled at me there. Also, there's no doubt in my mind that the emotional abuse from them is one of the reasons why I was frequently sick. Another reason, my mother purposely left wet clothes in the wash machine for days to mildew, and when she would do dishes she would leave water at the bottom of cups and bowls with them right side up so that there would be stinky growth in there too.
What in the world is up with the mold thing. Could it be about control?
@@violet18 ... Yes. she was insanely jealous even of her own family. She didn't want me to have friends. My clothes stunk and only a few people that understood or had a dull nose were my friends. She also didn't want me to do well in school. My parents would never admit to this, but after awhile I figured it out.
Thank you Rebecca for all of your videos which I believe is helping so many people from all over the earth 🌍.
From what I have encountered, most narcissists have injuries / wounds while growing up.
Thus they create an alter ego which is a “false self” as a coping mechanism.
When left unhealed : emotionally / socially / mentally/ psychologically… these persons allow the spirit of Jezebel to enter them. Which is a spirit that - manipulates / control / entice / torment / torture and makes your life miserable.
When I was delivered from such a person… I prayed alot and God revealed that He has delivered me from a “stronghold”.
That’s why it is not easy to leave a narcissist right away.
They have learnt to “mind control and mind condition” you for some time through their love 💕 bombing / silent treatment / gas lighting / deceptions / lies etc.
I thank GOD for saving me from such a person with narcissistic traits.
The words given me was : “
I, The Lord have delivered you from a stronghold . It could have totally destroyed your life.
You have done the right thing and I have heard your prayers and seen your tears. “
May God who delivered me, also deliver you from this stronghold and free you from all their clutches in JESUS name. Amen 🙏
I don’t think you can rescue / save a narcissist.
They are like an empty shelf of a person who is infested with demonic spirits.
Run ))))) and ask GOD to deliver you.
They hate themselves!!🤷🏽♀️.....truth
You are absolutely right when my Ex Toxic Narc got sick or wasn't feeling well. No matter what it was I was always always there for her. Just before I Dumped last year. I had gotten sick stomach troubles whatever I phone in the really morning to let her know. Did not ask me if I needed anything I never heard from her till 6:30 that evening. Now she can be someone eles PROBLEM.
Good one. Sorry about your past experiences.
I wish I had seen this years ago. You ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT ALL OF THIS. I lived through this for years and finally I can let this go and this covert narcissist can go to you know where.
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They will
Totally! Thank you for all you do for us, Rebecca. I recently moved out of a covert narc roommate situation - - Yes!! She often mentioned how others were playing a victim role. Can you tell me why she did this? I am guessing it was because she saw herself as a victim. Love and support to you and all here, Jo
Glad you got out of that situation with the narcissist! Narcissists will say anything to devalue and put someone else down. Sending you virtual hugs!
Totally! Wow. This is exactly my experience with my 2 sisters. I've gone no contact.
Totally! We could compare ankle injuries here, but I was the one having to drive him to all his appointments for months! I merely sprained mine & suddenly had /0/ value anymore.
That's so typical of a narcissist! I do hope your ankle is healed. Stay strong! 💪
YES!!!! YOURE RIGHT!!!!!!
I am married to a narcissist who is also a sociopath. The abuse has gone on since I met him. Of course I didn't know he was one until the last year. We've been married for 36 years. The abuse is relentless. I want out but can't leave due to financial abuse 😕 and I can't afford an attorney to fight him for half of everything. I've stopped doing anything for him and we sleep in separate bedrooms for about 3 years now. But the abuse has gotten worse since I stopped doing things for him. But I hate him so much now I can't and won't go back to kissing his ass even if it meant he would stop. Which he wont.
So spot on... totally ...exactly what was happening..
Totally! Significant other almost always sides with the other person against me, when this person has absolutely no knowledge of the situation being discussed. For instance, tries to make me look foolish in front of the tax accountant when I’m the one who spent months gathering and organizing our documents while the narc did nothing to help. She agreed with the carpet installer when I’m the one who has taken courses on home building (woodworking and electrical and metal work, and so on) and does all the maintenance in and around the house while she does next to nothing. Had to warn her, like a small child, before any business-type meeting to basically let me do the talking. Sorry if it sounds Chauvinistic, but to me it's just setting a boundary with this mentally ill person. Boundaries have actually put a stop to her public putdowns - doing this plus discussing matters with her beforehand to have her input. Sometimes, lately, I’ve been handling such business related matters without her being present. Rebecca knows exactly what she’s talking about!
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
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TOTALLY. Rebecca, Your spot on. I Love you= I HATE AND USE YOU! 16 months Narc free after over 33 years with one. I use to say `You do not love yourself, `You take no Responsability,`. Etc...I had no idea what this was. That Silent treatment, The Physical , Emotional, Mental and Spiritual abuse was nonstop. Finally I let go Emotionally in 2018. Oh how bad it got.
He Threatened to kill me and strangled me twice. I Finally got The Courage to call The Police and kicked him out. It is not easy as My Shoulders are still quite tense. Breathing Exercises help a lot! It´s so much Better now. I have my Purpose and peace back. I Divorced him and have My Boundaries up. I had to lose him to find me. I hope My story helped someone reading this. It feels like you will never recover.You will and You got this Survivors! Education on this matter is key. Thank you again Rebecca! You have helped me Immensely!
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
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I am glad you’re making this video I didn’t know what Narcissist is i thought he was just a very rude person , heartless…I stopped talking to him blocked him in social media but uses our common friends to know what im up to will post pictures, I was really hurt , I sometimes think of the good times even wandered if he really loved me
Totally! She hated it when I was sick
U know what so sick about a narc they do secretly HATE US BUT WILL USE US IF I DON'T LIKE SOMEONE I CAN'T PLAY PRETEND THEY R DISGUSTING PPL TO THE CORE
I have a daughter with a narc, she has spent her time turning our daughter against me and our family.
That's what they do!
Keep it up. Thank you for all the info… you dont know how much what your doing means to me, and im sure othes too.
Enjoyed your show, thanks for sharing!
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Thank you again for great information!
The corrosive and evil repercussions of jealousy in narcissists is akin to this and you should do a segment on it. I am not jealous of you, nor am I of narcissists who may possibly be. But I have other issues..like living in fear of spontaneous human combustion.
Totally. When I was sick. I wasn't even able to walk from a spinal injury and never took me to the ER. Waited 2 whole days. His mama finally took me to the ER. He didn't even go with me. I see it all now. Divorce almost final.
Hey Rebecca!
Let's not forget that narcissists hate you because they are jealous of you!
Fantastic video!
God bless you!
Be well and all the best!!
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Oh yeah my dad came to the hospital when I was in for 10 days, and put some guult trips on me like I was just acting up. Theres so many layers to all of this. Ive lived in guilt and so psychologically hurt and my self image damaged growing up with a parent like this. I cant tell him when Im hurt or he gets angry me that I dared to be hurt. As if hes ibsulted and I have no right to feel hurt. Its mind boggling that someone who is supposed to love you, who you look up to, is continually threatened by you and competitive. Ive been undercut all my life. He does alot of loving things dads are supposed to do and i get lovebombed sometimes, but shocked and surprised at the way I get treated around. Not sure why Ive been such a threat when he is is own different person with his own accomplishments. Never got mixed up with one of these guys in dating until my 40s and didnt see it coming. I may be single forever after that. Its been 2 years and not sure Ill ever heal.
So sorry to hear you had to go through that with your own father. Sending you virtual hugs and hoping for your healing. You'll get there. Stay strong!
Keep waking them up Rebecca
You are right on, Lady!
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Thank you for a clear video on the subject of hate. I didn't disagree with a bit of it.
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
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Your so true.
Rebecca thanks for the GREAT VIDEOS ALWAYS KILLER VIDEOS have Great Weekend. David
YOU ARE RIGHT!
Yes. My covert AND overt narc brother, whom I was unfortunately living with due to circumstances, took over what food came in to the house and cooking it .. he’s awful and extremely particular at it but I let it slide.
But one of these ‘dinners’ had some meat in the salad that didn’t taste right but nothing obvious . Well I got sick as a dog and it took 2 days to recover from the illness. I even threw up outside at 3 AM as I tried to get fresh air from not being able to sleep well .. when I told him I got so sick and showed him my puke in the garden . All he said was “well I didn’t get sick”. that’s it .
I immediately stopped eating with him or anything he ‘cooked’ and had to go out for dinner as all the food in the house was controlled by him .. keep in mind he is no pauper with regard to money .. plenty of it.
I was able to move out 2 - 3 weeks later and 6 weeks out at peace around ppl who are kind and loving type people and friends. I do believe my brother tried to poison me though I know a thousand excuses would be tossed up for plausible deniability .. he had rat poison around as I guess the rats know where the devil lives and don’t mind the evil .. no offense to rats.
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
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@@RebeccaZungEsq yes, thank you. 3.5 months later got a great job with nice ppl. I’m still there and still like it though quite complex. I think getting away from the toxicity and finding peace made all the difference in getting a good new job .. emotional state was, and is, so much better .. also realized my other 5 siblings aren’t particularly functional either, same parents .. some were favored over others and being the blacksheep and youngest made it the worst
I know my malignant mother hates me she just told me yesterday im smart enough to get that out of her and I still deal with her every day because I sleep on the side of the house on the ground with my dogs every day
I know everyone's in a different situation, but I'm curious whether you can see your way to no contact..?
@@jeanettecook1088 that's an interesting question I dont think I can since I seem to be able to manage this relationship with Rebecca help she has opened my eyes for sure; I could go live on the streets in California which is far more dangerous and knowing that I have a 14 year old dog and the other 3 I've had for 12 years I don't see any way out also my mother she said just last week she wants to poison my dogs just last week so I cannot trust anybody they depend on me and im will give up my life for them to defend them I've had some close calls in the last 12 years already.
*Everything I did was wrong* when it suited him... *his way of ignoring me was to block me on whatsapp and banish me to emails only* I now realise this was to hide that he was chatting to other women on there.. The ex narc used to make me feel like I had to explain myself all the time, such as explain why I was upset over the bad thing they did and then I's be 'in trouble' for doing so... *Yes they do hate you* they only "love" you when you do and say everything in the way they want you to including accepting the terrible way they treat you.. *Thank you Rebecca*
This ladies videos have helped me so much! I thought I was going crazy 😔
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TOTALLY ! All so true completely ! Thank you Rebecca for you being here with all your videos and everyone comments here & may you all have a wonderful blessed night 🙏
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Totally and thank you Rebecca.
¹ they put you down in public or private
² they use your weaknesses against you
³ they refuse to acknowledge your accomplishments
⁴ they regularly ignore your needs
⁵ you always feel like you're doing something wrong (messed up)
⁶ often get the silent treatment from them
*they hate everybody because they hate themselves*
Yes I had Covid and I can't even describe the looks I had received from her. It really felt evil.
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I totally agree with everything you pointed out in this video Rebecca! Except the last one, I believe that some of the narcissists I encountered in my life actually adore themselves. They would put others down in a heartbeat or sacrifice everyone for their own benefits and agenda WITHOUT the slightest hesitation or remorse whatsoever. Some of the narcissists are the most avid fans of themselves in my opinion. That is one of the reasons they can constantly keep the act of a perfect person/victim - no matter who fake it is. They are their own fuel.
...un-fillable emptiness...is even our compassion wasted on them...?
Totally right on 👍👍👍
Dr. Spiegel threw em all for a loop . Notice he wasn't capable of dislike or hatred.
TY Rebecca 🤗 You just answered a LOT of questions i have!!! BOOOOM! 🔥🔥🔥
Totally! If you have more questions, feel free to email support@rebeccazung.com. The SLAY team will be there for you!
@@RebeccaZungEsq i definitely will! Thank you!!! 🌹💞❤️
I have this one person that's always bragging and making things a competition. He basically talked about how he and his new wife are looking at 850k+ houses. I said, well I think that's a little excessive. He went off on me. I did it because I was tired of the constant bragging. Was I being an asshole or a narcissist by saying that? Now, we haven't spoken in over six months.
Totally right on Rebecca!
Totally! 🙌
@@RebeccaZungEsq Today is Narcissistic Awareness Day and Johnny has won 15 mil from the witch!
The double standards they use is a proof of their hatred towards you
You are spot on 💯💯💯
Is a narcissist ever ‘normal’ with their other kids, but only a narc to just one of their kids..? 🤔🤔🤔
It is true. People teach me how to assert my standing, be strong, be firm and he assertive. Often it pushes me to be beyond my old self. Yet to have these elements, I have learned what arguments I need to push or for me to be silent. To be direct, they have pushed me to have value for myself. It is a very humble journey to see the light and to be free.
Freedom for me is pure bliss. I don't need to answer their needy f*lippy questions. Yes, they have their instant frustrated tantrums. But all you have to do is to watch them go into a nutty frenzy. Be strong to those who need to know how best to deal with them. 😊
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i truely do not comprehend that there so many people who are underdeveloped because of intention. their are so many adults who should not have been born because they are hazardous in the mind.
Well rounded reasoning answers with it intertwined with the type of a Covert which is affecting my relationship 😵💫. Thank you for the obvious .....
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Totally agree!
Totally spot on
Totally.. they you asking what we going to do so they can point the finger at you when it go wrong. When it is to good they let it go wrong.
Silent treatment when you on coffee, eat you're dinner, nice to have a mobile so you can see you tube and let them hear Rebecca.😁
Totally Right!!
My narc sister-in-law and her daughters do this to my daughter and me.They ignore us both and do ghosting on us. It's true they hate everybody.
TOTALLY!!! You are describing my sister to a ´T’ !!! Narc relationships come in all shapes and forms.
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You're soooo right!!! "The Reverend " never allowed me to get sick... I simply wasn't allowed to. I actually broke down and cried on front of her when I was sick, running around the house for her, answering her phone calls... and she looks down on me and said "I was about to compliment you for how strong you are, but now you're just choosing to be weak!" She will very exposed for everything she did!!!
We used to get sent home from school because we'd been sent in too sick and used to beg to be able to stay because it was easier to have to stay at school than deal with a narc when you're sick. If there was a physical injury then you'd get it a little easier because it would make them look bad if they were seen to be nasty about it or it painted a picture of them as "caring" but you still had to be careful behind closed doors.
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
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