I Got Plastic Surgery And I Regret It | Surgeon Reacts
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- Опубликовано: 27 июл 2024
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Surgeon Reacts to I Got Plastic Surgery And I Regret It by @BuzzFeedVideo Dr. Gary Linkov is a double-board certified facial plastic and hair restoration surgeon. In today’s video, he takes a look at Cherry’s regretful plastic surgery experience.
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Wow thank you Dr. Gary Linkov for responding to my video! I never though a personal story of mine can get this much attention.
To be honest, I decided to open up and share this story for just one reason: If my story can help just one person out there, it serves its purpose. Growing up I've always been insecure with my looks and I definitely decided to get plastic surgery for the wrong reasons. Just remember this. No matter what, safety is always #1. I can't believe how naive I was to get surgery on my own in a shady hospital. Thank god I didn't develop worse side effect from it.
Thank you so much for sharing your story Cherry.
You’re a hero.
I want you both to know that I think so highly of you, and consider you to be exceptionally pure, intelligent people. I have so much respect for you, Dr. Linkov and Cherry. Thank you for your vulnerability and thoughtfulness.
Cherry Thank you for sharing and You are so beautiful!
Cherry you are very pretty!!! I know sometimes comments like that aren’t even affective because even if others find you attractive, that doesn’t mean you find yourself attractive. People expect you to see what they see, but it’s not like that when its YOUR self.
My mom used to make comments about my body sometimes. Nothing crazy that traumatized me but still not ok. She was always "just being honest". One time she told me I had a flat butt. I told her "well everyone says I look just like you". She stopped being so "honest" after that lol
Is she Dutch? Lol
@@e.g.4483 Haha XD no but she was a middle child who acted as a parent to her 6 other siblings and she's from LA. She got to know a lot of celebrities and hang out with people of different economical and social backgrounds (like the Jacksons, Joan Jett, red hot chilli peppers and she had rich bougie friends who could probablyafford procedures she wasnt aware of) so I think she got this idea that the elite are average and average isn't good enough. She's like 5ft 5 maybe 140 and thinks she's super tall and chunky and she's always been remarkably slim and fit.
I'm sorry.
@@drewyflynn6778 the classic mom with body dysmorphia who then takes out her body dysmorphia on her child. im sorry you had to deal with that bullshit
@@drewyflynn6778 Ah ok. It makes sense but it's still not ok. I am sorry you went through that :( I asked becuase the Dutch will bully other people and just respond with "Well I'm just being honest!" when half the time what they said isn't even true, and they're just being abusive and gaslighting. Either way. Don't listen, it's just projecting insecurities. Also, your comeback was *chef's kiss* lol!
Don't forget to tell your daughters that they're also smart and strong ❤ because too often little girls are only told how pretty or beautiful they are.
Amen! I have a ton of issues at age 40.....I can't remember either of my parent's EVER saying that I was beautiful or smart or funny or talented. You kind of give up on everything after 40 years of being invisible to your own parent's.
@@kemeee5407 That reply broke my heart, I am the same - hardly ever heard anything nice about myself from my parents.. unfortunately we think if even my parents don't think I am that great, then maybe I am not.
Even though now I understand that not everyone has an easy time verbally expressing things and maybe they were brought up similarly, it's still messed up my confidence a lot.
Yesss, exactly
I never compliment people on their looks - don't care how old they are. There are tons of other things to compliment on.
Don't make it about the physical appearance 🙏
Yes!!!!!
My mom always called me her pretty girl. I'm average but I always felt pretty and have never considered plastic surgery for anything. Thank you mom!
Me, too! So did my Dad, and today, at almost 72, I see the reflections of them, in the mirror! I guess I look alright for my age? Thanks to Mama and Dad! 💖❤️
Never heard from mine 🤘
When did you realise that you were average? Did someone tell you that? How did you feel?
I know what you‘re trying to say, but I don‘t like saying stuff like that, it gives „people only do plastic surgery if they didn‘t get enough love as a child or weren‘t complimented by their parents“
Average compared to what? to whom?
I'm a grandma. I can't begin to imagine telling any of my grandchildren they are the "ugliest." What grandparent even THINKS that? I don't care the culture. What happened to, "If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all."
Exactly
agreed. we make too many excuses for "culture" sometimes. people shouldn't be allowed to hurt others.
Narcissist families.
My grandma said i was ugly because i was too dark 💀 she was a very sweet lady tho but colorism is strong in my country
@@depressinggen 💀💀💀
If my grandma told me I'm ugly, I would tell her my mom got it from her.
Solid burn
but what if its from your grandpa.
This👏👏👏
I have pretty large pouches under my eyes. When my Mom asks me if I’m tired I say ‘No, it’s genetic’🙂
😂😂😂💯💯💯
Imagine a plastic surgeon that spreads natural body positivity and to be comfortable in the skin you're in publicly.
You're a good dude Dr. Gary
Thank you! 🙏
agree
I thought that's the norm. I once talked to a surgeon who specialised in noses, and had a very funny discussion on how he even got to the point where he studied medicine to then become the man that was so fascinated with noses, like how does that present on a date when a woman hears you're a surgeon and she thinks of a heart surgeon or something, and he goes "I specialised in noses". Not to play his title down, he was just a very funny guy, he said his trainride every morning was just him observing people and how he would tweek a nose to harmonise better with their given face. So what I gather from this is that it's not about achieving perfection, but to stick to what you've been given and still help create something that harmonises with the rest of the face. I'm really just saying this because your comment kinda implies that a majority of surgeons want to make money from changing people, but I was under the impression that these surgeons are there to help you and find a way to appreciate the impression your face makes while also adressing and understanding that you want to change something. Also I'm not someone who got a nosejob, I was seeing the surgeon for a different reason
If your plastic surgeon doesn’t do that, RUN!!
That's actually how it should be. From an ethical standpoint. So he's the real deal 😁
My mother was a narcissist and as an only daughter I suffered a huge amount of emotional abuse. One of the nicest things she ever told me was that it was lucky I was intelligent because I was so ugly no man would ever want me. It was a constant drip of negativity. In the end, it WAS my intelligence that saved me - it made me question my mother's mental health. It also taught me that looks were very irrelevant.
big hugs for you
Thats honestly terrible. No kid deserves to go through that.
My mother sayed: "When you cut your hair, no boy will like you anymore." Of course I got my hair cut the next day and colored orange and peroxy-blond.
My dad two weeks later... looked at me: "Is there something different with your hair?"
Me: "Mum! The boys still like me. Maybe because they did not even notice yet!"
Looks are irrelevant. Beauty is fleeting and anybody that depends on it is in for a surprise as they age. Good for you to realize this.
My mother is a narcissist and is now 96 years old and living in a nursing home. I have one sister. She looks a lot like my mom and so my mom has always talked about how pretty she is. I ended up looking like my Dad. He had a really big, homely nose. I got his nose. She would often say to me, "Well, he sure put his stamp on you". After I got married, she said, "If I had your money, I'd have had a nose job a long time ago". (We were just an average family raising our little boys). There's a lot I could say about growing up with that nose but I'll save it. What I want to say is: It's been a bizarre experience watching my narcissistic mother age. Everything is about her and everything is about what she looks like, what she's wearing, what her hair looks like, and so on. That was, and remains number one, in her life. While I wish I didn't have my nose, I can say that at least my heart was, and is, in the right place. I am nearly 65 years old. No one likes my mom.
I have a high and thin nose. I absolutely hated it. People called me "shark fin" nose. I promised myself that when I get a good paying job that I would get surgery. When I moved to South Korea, I got only compliments about my nose and people were telling me how beautiful it was and that they would pay to have a nose like mine. It made me sad for them because I knew exactly how they felt, but it also taught me to appreciate the mose I was born with. I told them that I always wanted a nose like theirs and that we somehow always want what we don't have. I'm happy I never got the surgery and when I look in the mirror I don't cringe at it anymore.
I’m glad you went to Korea!!!
I think Patrician noses are beautiful 😘 my own nose has these wide flanks that appear as shadows on pictures, which looks weird.
I agree. I am a performer and grew up with ppl commenting on my looks. Because I always had my own style, I received both very postive and negative comments. I do not know if I would ever undergo surgery or even fillers though I am Gen X. It would have to do with my aesthetic sense rather than anything.
I have a very thin high nose bridge. I never liked it, not least because finding glasses that fit is a nightmare.
I’ve developed an interest in kpop fairly recently, and it was hearing about how Koreans praise my type of nose (and the amount of people that get surgery to achieve it!) that made me realise that everyone is attractive to someone.
Quite like my nose now, knowing people on the other side of the world like it, haha.
@@caz5624 That is great Caz!💜
When I was young, I saw my nose from the profile and found it disturbing. I vowed to get a rhinoplasty when I was old enough.
In HS my sweet bff shared her insecurities, and when I shared my disgust for my nose, she gave me the best compliment which changed my perspective...
She said:
Never change your nose because it's beautiful and suits your personality. It's elegant and graceful, like a dancer (I was a dancer). No other nose would match you.
I never forgot that, and started falling in love with my flaws. Instead of seeing them as apart from me- problems that needed fixing, my "imperfections" give me more character. I love interesting noses, imperfections and asymmetry in others now as well! Diversity is beautiful!
Wow a single kind comment affected your self image and outlook. That is beautiful.
@@ririimari yes, she was a beautiful person inside and out ❤
Yes!
I had a simular experience. I always hated my nose. I dont have that ski slope Instagram nose. IT is not big. I Just didnt like the shape. My current boyfriend told me when we started dating that one of the things he thought was the most attractive about me was my nose. I thought it was a joke tbh. But he tells me all the time that he loves it. And it has made me look at it in a different way. I have fixed my nose in apps and asked him what he thinks. And he is like!! Nonono that takes away your whole perosnality. 😊 And i do agree i do love different looking noses. I dont think there is only one type of beauty 💖
I understand what you mean. I find my protruding upper jaw and smaller chin disgusting as fuck, but at the same time it makes me ME. I don't see myself shaving and modifying it to fit society's standards. that's the ultimate YIKES to me. Too much danger and unknown to do so
Her grandmother calling her ugly caused devastating damage to her self-concept and self-esteem. It's one thing to be called that by classmates or others unrelated to you, but by a family member, the effect is profound.
I live in China and they all tend to do this: they say that the baby is too black, that their heads are too big, noses too wide. And they do it so transparently without any guilt or empathy. As a foreigner who is expecting a baby with a Chinese man, I hope my child doesn’t hear this, otherwise some in-laws might be scolded.
Alot of asian families do this. My vietnamese one did haha
@@Esoteraeon Sad. Any idea what’s behind it?
@@gabe-po9yi older generation of asians are extremely blunt and honest with their opinions 😅 you just gotta grow thick skin to withstand it honestly
@@Esoteraeon I see. Thanks for the info, I like learning about other cultures and generations.
My dad handled my teenage angst so well. I was super self conscious about my body, I was never fat, but I felt fat and ugly. Whenever he complimented me, he'd say stuff like "you look so strong, you're so creative, you're so elegant, you're such a lady" my mom really fed my disordered eating because she would say stuff like "you're looking thin" "wow you've lost weight" stuff like that. It's amazing how a slight difference in terms can affect a sensitive teenage girl
Stop defaming Mothers!
I can relate to that. My grand mother told me when I was a child, they are 2 types of women, the pretty ones who get everything in life, and the ugly ones who have to work hard. Then she said to me, and you my dear will have to work very hard. This stayed with me.
Yep. Being pretty is truly winning the lottery.
She surely forgot to add "also those pretty ones are mostly silver spoons btw, or just happen to live connected to fresh natural environment."
I'm sorry that happened to you!!! I hope you have people in your life now, who see how beautiful you are and that they tell you that ❤️
@@zuzanazuscinova5209Life has many lotteries and no one can win them all!
@@zuzanazuscinova5209 No it’s not winning the lottery. I’m 68 and still told I’m pretty/beautiful. But one has people (men and women) come at you for all the wrong reasons. It’s not the gift you think it is. I also know plenty of women who were plain that were grifters looking for a free ride. Everything I have I worked for. Also have been around men who weren’t comfortable having a beautiful woman. Nothing is so thin it doesn’t have two sides.
“No one is born ugly. Just born into a judgmental world.” ❤️
Well said!
That’s deeper than most people realise ❤️
Or family
RM?
@@rayazarias4098 Yes 🌚💖
I used to hate the side profile of my nose and the width of it. I was telling a close friend of mine about it and her boyfriend came in and said, “No, don’t get a nose job. Your nose and your cheekbones show your native roots. Be proud of it.” And it just blew my mind. Now I love my nose lol
I struggle with this but I have my great grandmothers nose 😅
I also hated my nose and my ex (and my current bf too) always told me that my nose was cute and pretty. I'm no longer self conscious about it but i still do think im ugly at times
He was right.
Same, I always remind myself of that and it helps so much
That's a good man😊
''With the insecurities that she had, she made it *her* problem''. That's legitimately so true in any scenario, with any insecurity. If you have an insecurity you automatically assume that every interaction you have, anything that others do, is based on that one thing alone. It's all down to perception
I hear ya, Kai
So true.
It's especially awful knowing she is absolutely gorgeous and was lied to for her whole life. She's so pretty. I know so many pretty friends who hate themselves just because of verbal abuse at home from a young age. One friend in particular hates herself and i just wanna cry because she can't see that she's beautiful.
Yes. I was constantly receiving positive comments from my family, so I grew up super confident. When I get into college, I realized that maybe I wasn’t the cutest of the room, but my confidence was already there thanks to my parents❤️
Yes!
Tbf, your parents probably fully think you are the most beautiful thing they ever saw. I feel that way about my 4 y/o son, I know rationally that he’s not actually a fallen angel, but to me I just see the most adorable creature on earth 🤷♀️
No need to flex your amazing parents ;-;
Jkjk, I’m really happy for you!
@@edanagorham6757 AWWWWWWW that is so adorable!!!😇
@Mensanaincorporesano I think I achieved a lot by learning how to dress, make up and I stopped being so shy. I feel I am not naturally a pretty person, but with all the things I learned, I got prettier. Also, I have to say that now at my 30s, I am prettier than when I was a teen :/
My mother told me at 13 I could get the bump on my nose fixed when I was older. Me.. what bump.. what's wrong with my nose? Words are more powerful than anything. Never fixed my nose and don't care now.
And my mom used to tell me, as she'd push up the tip of my nose "You know, if you had a different nose you'd be really pretty." In my teens and well into adulthood due to the many comments on the size of my nose,I've dreamed of having a "nose job" However in my twenties I saw a plastic surgeon on a talk show say "Many women have died under the knife for a face lift". If that didn't put an end for my desire for surgery, I watched a video of rhinoplasty being performed. The visual of breaking the bone, sealed the deal for me. Thanks but no thanks. Now I dream of the day when a permanent non invasive rhinoplasty becomes reality.; not holding my breath.
Same thing.
I couldn't imagine saying that to my daughter, im in awe of her every time I look at her. So sorry you had that growing up but I'm glad you didn't allow it to tear you down
@@bridgettstephens5582 oh get over it I’ve had a nose job it was so easy and I didn’t die
@@Mybabycase Your opinion is of no interest me; move along.
My parents complimented me a lot growing up and still do -- looks and other traits. I think it definitely gave me good self-esteem even during tough times.
When I confided my appearance insecurities to my mom, she told me I was a plain, ordinary looking girl, that there was nothing exceptional about me and there never would be; that I wasn't a model, covergirl or movie star type so deal with it. Then, people started telling her she had a beautiful daughter. The first time this happened, she came up to me with her mouth agape and told me someone had just told her her daugher was beautiful. She looked me right in the eye and said she was shocked to hear that. I thanked her for sharing and said I was glad she was so shocked that someone thought I was attractive. She got mad and said I had misinterpreted her words, but I reminded her of prior statements about my looks. Now she tells me she can't understand why I have a problem with my looks, that people are always sayingI am attractive. I seriously feel like strangling her sometimes.
"I seriously feel like strangling her sometimes." Can I be next?
@@blanchequizno7306 Yes, Blanche, you have my permission. :o)
@@IVant2BAlone sorry but I think she’s jealous of you.
My mother told me she was much prettier at my age than I was. I was 16. Narcissism at it’s best. She passed last summer at 92. Such a relief she’s gone.
My dad said the same crap growing up; it's not true. They're trapt in ideals the world has taught them. He always said "you'd be perfect if you lost a little in the middle" or "you know, you're pretty and all but your sister is DROP DEAD" meaning I wasn't.
I remember my parents telling me I had more of a Greek nose (not really Greek, but I have a bump on my nose) and then turning around to my sister, saying she had a “cute ski slope nose”, and just something as small as them saying hers was cute, and not saying if mine was is still something I remember. Even tho they didn’t directly say anything mean, nor mean anything by it. Can’t imagine straight up being told I was ugly
I know you probably don't care about my opinion at all, but plenty of people think those types of noses are attractive & powerful & bold. I am sure you are beautiful!
I'll agree with the comment up. I adore greek noses, very attractive on both guys and girls. I'm sure your nose is beautiful on you.
Aww ur both really sweet - thanks 🥰🥰
I've always heard that a Greek profile is considered attractive and desirable.
I had a similar experience. It also happens continuosly with my small breasts. People automatically assume I want them bigger or say they're cute even if they're small, as if 'small' for boobs or 'big' for a nose is inherently bad. You need to realise your nose is fine regardless (some will find it beautiful, some other won't) and that it suits your face perfectly, not the standards but YOUR face. You exist beyond your beauty and, although beauty standards exist, it is subjective). Btw, I love both my aquiline nose and my breasts, I don't find plastic surgery appealing at all.
Super normal for Asian grandparents and even parents to criticize and insult your looks. ESPECIALLY if you are a female. I would be lying if I said it didn’t effect me to this day. So I understand her struggle.
Why do they do it?
You have a very comforting and calm energy. I've been binge watching your videos today as someone who just likes to learn new things, but also because your demeanor eases my general anxiety. (I'm not looking to get any type of plastic surgery, I'm just an anxious person lol)
With that kind of super power it's great that you're in the field of patient care. Thank you for taking the time to educate the rest of us!
same lol! much love to u
I like how you explained the bone structure in different races....that's what one wants in a doctor..someone who is aware and acknowledges the differences.
yes!!! My plastic surgeon made a point to keep the "ethnicity" in my nose as he said lol. I remember him teaching a resident surgeon in training and mentioning that he focuses on keeping the persons ethnicity when doing corrections like a septoplasty etc and i am so so grateful for that. Not only can i breath but my nose shape is still essentially the same
Exactly. Also surgeons who deal with the body too! A good doctor will NOT give a woman a huge booty when she has no hips or thighs, or giant boobs that look unnatural. They will tell u that it doesn't look natural with their body type and shape and that it should look evenly proportioned. A good doctor will refuse to do anything that he knows is not going to look right.
My abusive ex _DESTROYED_ my self esteem by telling me I was the reason for his Erectile Dysfunction. Turns out he was on so many drugs, there was no way that shriveled thing was coming out to play. Repairing the damage he did is STILL a work in progress, even 12 years later. Ladies, if a guy tells you that lie, don't you dare believe it.
Why would he be with you if he thinks youre ‘like that ‘ in the first place?
A sick individual..
I'm sorry that happened to you. So happy you left and I hope you are in a better place now. I wish you all the luck for the future.
I dated a guy who said that. It turned out he was gay. I was angry for awhile, but then I just felt sorry for him. He was 32 when he came out.
Clearly a man like him had no balls to admit his own faults so thats why he degraded you as such
On a serious note tho I'm glad you left him, he's such a toxic person
My mum calls me "the prettiest girl in the world" and it means the world to me.
That's great!
My maternal grandmother and my aunt used to call me ugly , especially pointing to my nose. They'd say I look like a boy and i dont belong here. I was only 5 at that time and i still get tears by the thought of it. I grew up with insecurities because of them and to their eyes, still I'll never be beautiful but they cant stop raving about the beauty of my aunts daughters. They (aunt and her daughters) are jealous of me for no reason. All i wanted was a good sisterhood and a family bond.
I asked my grandma if I was beautiful when I was young, she said "you're not a beautiful girl, but you're a pretty girl"...I remember it vividly years later, and it had a huge impact on my self esteem. Being told you're pretty obviously isn't a bad thing, but the way she said it made it sound like I wasn't good enough. How hard would it have been for her to just say I was beautiful?
I'm so sorry you experienced this.
Ive had people before say I was pretty when I asked if I was beautiful..And they did more mental abuse to me. It's never a good sign when they say "pretty" in place of "beautiful".
@@amberbest6942 it's just easier to say pretty tho
@@amberbest6942 mental abuse because someone called you pretty instead of beautiful? that's quite the stretch. if you ask someone for their honest opinion, don't get upset if they give it to you. it's not a 'good' or bad sign that they said that, it's just their opinion. it's worse IMO to tell people they're beautiful when you don't mean it.
No offense, but what do you expect? You asked her, and she gave you her honest answer-you are pretty, but just not beautiful. Maybe you didn’t like the answer, but don’t ask for truths you can’t handle
I like Doctor Gary. He knows his stuff, and he has that touch of humanity.
Just a touch ;)
@@drgarylinkov 😂😂 dude almost feels like a human being sometimes
You can't get more likeable.
@@luxeford547 Dr Youn is pretty likable too
@@drgarylinkov Hey doc, how skillful are you at rhinoplasty?
Wow… I was heavily bullied for my big nose I’m school but around age 15 I started to direct all of that sadness and frustration outwards. I made a point of being top of my class and started to really resent the people who made fun of me and started to look down on them. Probably not the best way to deal with the situation but at least I never felt that need to have surgery ever again. I‘m happy with the way I look and over time (early 20s) my face had much more even proportions than in my teens. So whoever is giving you a hard time for the way you look: it’s their problem. Not yours.
Hey Dr. Gary - just before you said about the off-topic coments that you get (i'm sorry for that) - I thought to myself that I actually watch your videos not for the actual content but for the absolutely non-judgemental tone of your voice in all of the stories. It is so soothing / needed in this world and I simply adore it with every single video. You are informative, understanding, most of all - professional, honest, carying, not-telling-people-what-to-do.. Just LOVE it.
Please continue. and yes - the haters' comments are for trash.
Cheers from Poland.
Thanks so much!!!
I’m so confused. Seeing her before picture, how could anyone even think to call her ugly? She still a beautiful woman now but there was nothing wrong with her before
I’m not saying she’s unattractive and I’m sad she felt that way but keep in mind she was wearing a lot of makeup in her before too. I think she looked better before also plus she went into surgery for others not for herself
I agree!!
her family and the people around her probably either loved putting her down or the standard of beauty there was unreasonably high
The thing with Asian families is that they often make those comments because they want to take you down a notch to keep you “humble.” It’s almost as if self confidence is viewed as a negative trait; like you’re full of yourself. That’s the older generation. But they don’t realize the pain it causes to their children. They were probably raised the same way. It’s just tons of generational trauma. I hope she can break the cycle and make sure she raises her children if she has any to be confident people.
@@mooncake4371 💯 being Asian I totally get it. They see confidence as egotistical and cocky. The good thing is the new generations are teaching their children to be humble and confident without the backwards thinking.
My god, I'm an asian too, I think that her before was so beautiful and authentic... I dont know why her family told her that she was ugly, she wasnt at all!
Her family might have body dis-morphia.
@@joanlynch5271 i dont think body dismorphia works like that
Agree 💯 Angie, absolutely!
@@1Hawting maybe they have body dysmorphia and jealous of how beautiful she us
Asian conformism. Hyper conformism.
I love this doctor, he’s patient and seems kind and honest
Dear dr Gary, before you commented about viewers criticizing your appearance I was thinking while watching your video how unique and beautiful eyes you have. Your personality is also something that shines bright in your videos. Based on your videos I consider you a beautiful human being both on the inside and outside.
Just have to say Dr. Linkov, I think you're very handsome and what adds to your physical attractiveness is your demeanor. You're extremely intelligent, insightful, and relaxed in that. You're not pushy, or impolite. You share needed information respectfully and thoughtfully. Don't change a thing.😊👍 And keep up the good work.
Thank you!
I think he’s handsome, too, and so did his beautiful wife! Ugly men can’t get women that beautiful!
@@kimberlyperrotis8962 Oh they definitely can lol, especially if they’re rich enough. I see wayyyy too many women that are together with an ugly man 😔
I also think he's beautiful , especially the way his lips are shaped , very interesting ! Some people have some unique features that just stand out, and he's one of them in my humble opinion , makes me wanna pick my pen and draw lol.
Besides that , I absolutely enjoyed this vid , it was very insightful and professional .
I agree, demeanor goes a long way and I love his eyes, also the way he looks at the camera. I like it if someone looks different and stands out!
Trust me the older you get, the less you care about what others are saying about you. Usually if someone says something offensive about the way you look, it’s really not about your looks. It’s about them trying to make you feel bad about yourself. People who love and respect you look past your outer image and accept you the way you are. They don’t expect you to change.
Is that really true? Then why do older members of families constantly compain about their child/nephew/niece appearance?
Absolutely!! I’m 41,& all my life I’ve heard the phrase “If I knew then what I know now”. Never understood it till my late 20s/early 30s. Looks r superficial, but personality & character are truly what matters,& what gets u thru life. If u can get to a point in your life where u are ok with who u r as a person- it’s all up from there! 😊
@RN RN it depends on each person and mentality. I believe It doesnt matter how old you are, you can still be superficial and judge others the older you get bc some of my older family members complain about physical appearance of younger members. Especially considering height and weight and clothing. This is especially more so in some east/southeast asian cultures
@@yelloe You're absolutely right, older age doesn't equate with wisdom or serenity/acceptance. In some cultures and families/communities, there can be undue pressure for the younger members to look good, as if to carry on the pride of the older generations, to save face, etc. In tight-knit communities, it's not so surprising that all members would be expected to fit a certain bill (look alike) in features, clothing, jewellery, or even tattoos and body modifications.
What might be truer is that as we age, and if we're not restrained by serious responsibilities etc., we tend to gravitate towards people would share similar values to ourselves and-incidentally-look like us. Those into a posh aesthetic will seek out people of similar status and aesthetics to hang out with; those who don't care too much and prefer to extoll the merits of seeing the beauty within...will hang out with similar-minded folks, who won't pay as much attention to looks.
However, if you find yourself in some circles (family, coworkers, friends...) that make you feel less-than because of your appearance, it may be those people assess themselves through the image projected by their peers, basically in a "birds of a same feather" manner: so if they find the people around them not very attractive, to them it reflects badly on themself. With family it can be even worse, because often resemblance is belonging, and older folks yearn to see a bit of themselves in the young ones-and of course that bit should be flattering. It's not about you, it's all about how to make themselves shine better. At that stage, either they'll force you into glowing up (priding themselves on their advice and good taste) or kick you down (to distance themselves and prop themselves up).
But not all people are like that; or at least we all have different metrics for judging the crowd we choose to hang out with. It's up to each of us to find people who match with our own lifestyle and values; otherwise we choose to cram ourselves into shoes that were never meant for us. Luckily, I do believe that *most* people come to care *less* about looks as they age, and that when they make insensitive comments it's without the intention to hurt or change the other.
Just my theory, but would you concord?
Exactly
Dr. Gary is a warm hearted doctor that I have not seen for a long time. Great positive vibes! 👍
I was teased terribly as a child/youth, not for being ugly but for having super thick glasses, which equated to the same thing in my mind. Self esteem was sooo low. Never wanted plastic surgery but instead eye surgery. Wasn't a candidate then or now. Thank goodness for hard contacts! 😉🤓 Plus I had to learn to accept myself as I am.
My dad once told me I was pretty, but that our family friend's green eyed, pale skin and blonde daughter was beautiful. I remember it till this day how shitty it made me feel abt myself.
Wow, that's a shitty move by your dad.
You should’ve said you got your looks from him
Your dad sounds weird
I'm so sorry.
@@TheHilikus89 👀👀 Yeah… I would be watching him after that.
My Dad called me ugly once and it made me cry. Those words really affected me as I already thought it about myself.
I bet your not ugly
My dad once left the gate open and my dog got lost. I started crying and he told me stop crying, you're ugly when you cry. He's just a bad father all around. I don't even pay attention to what he says anymore. He did the same to my mother over the years and she's beautiful. Just knocked her confidence. Some people shouldn't be parents.
My dad told me that, I just laugh tho lol
@@STI.Ricardito terrible thing for a dad to say
@@graeme1744 I’m not insecure and my dad is joking around so idc, and if he wasn’t either way is he supposed to say I’m a beautiful man? That’s gay lol
So brave of you, Cherry. Thank you for sharing your story. I am sure it will help a lot of people to accept themselves and warn them of the possible dangers. Bless You.
Growing up I hated my nose. I used to look at pictures of my grandma (who resembles me the most) and wished I had her nose. I looked at the same pictures a couple of months ago and was baffled when I saw we indeed had the same nose all along! My other features just had to mature for me to see it. Now I don't mind my face at all, and I'm so glad I didn't talk my parents into letting me have a rhinoplasty in my teens. A lot of people don't realize how much your features can change, my face just fell into place during my mid twenties.
One’s nose grows first and then the rest of the face catches up.
You look nice bald without your hat. Cute as a button. Nice look on you. And you give compassionate perspective here.
Thanks!
Agree!
I know it might seem odd to comment this, but his skin looks so smooth and flawless. He looks very well hydrated I'm legit jelly sittin' here with my dry-ass flaky skin
@@MiotaLee LMAOO ME TOO😭😭
This is really sad and it’s sad so many young women and young men are suffering so much insecurity. However, her family cultivated this insecurity and she was with the wrong guy.
absolutely and social media in 2021 doesn't help but i think a lot of people tend to think they're uglier than they are bc a lot of how you feel about yourself is psychological not necessarily though you can still love yourself and want to change something that kinda bothrs you but to change for someone else or be called ugly by someone like she was is totally nonsense
We don't know if the guy was a bad boyfriend. He could have just had ED and she blamed herself for it.
@@BrieCheese True…she has some serious issues and needed therapy and not plastic surgery.
@@LexaTerrestrialx Agreed! It’s this whole Kardashianization of our country. Young women see whatever her name Jenner getting plastic surgery and literally making a billion dollars, so that’s the new sick standard.
Many women are insecure about the way they look and many are total egomaniacs about their looks and can’t stop looking at themselves and sharing it on social media. They hit the genetic lottery and that’s not an accomplishment.
Tik Tok, Instagram and RUclips is a hotbed of freaking egomaniac men and women.
I absolutely agree with you. I have heard of the shaming based on looks from parents in some cultures. It's getting worse and worse, and some people do desperate and very scary things to themselves. And these girls are absolutely beautiful!! It breaks my heart.
I can relate to her. I’ve been alone for years and rejected a few times even by someone I felt a connection with. Believe me, it’s taken a toll on me. I won’t go into specifics but some thoughts I’ve had about myself aren’t very nice. I’m sorry she went through that.
Dr Gary you are super easy to watch, so interesting, and love your videos. You bring authenticity and steer people away from shallowness which is a remarkable move toward balance. Keep up the great work!
Growing up in Asia, I feel her.. I got bullied too wide smile, too high forehead, too skinny, too big nose etc.. My American husband, in fact, the one who builds my confidence.. He disapproved when I told him I wanted rhinoplasty.. I'm glad I dont do any plastic surgery .. our son says "You are beautiful mommy and I love you" .. my husband and son love me who I'm and I love them so much.
Why should a wide smile be bad?
You're married and off the dating market , you shouldn't give a Dahm about what ppl outside your immediate family think of your looks
Aww what a beautiful story, u have an amazing family :)
Aw you are so sweet. Your husband chose you because he loves the way you look as you are - and that is beautiful and so are you
I had a nose job at 37. I wanted it from 14 or 15 years old, but I waited looooong time until I had confidence, a good career, a loving husband. Because I can have all this and still have concerns about my nose, then it really is not fitting. Now I'm 42 and love my nose, it suits me. It's not a trendy or celebrity nose. It's just a natural normal looking nose, just like other people from my family, and nobody can tell I had it done. So please be patient and wait for the right time, find a good specialist, be comfortable with the possibility of changing something on your face forever. Don't do it for the likes.
I have the same idea but U haven't found the right time nor the right surgeon yet. Hopefully one day I will because it's not just for a better look but because it's deviated and I can't breathe properly.
Even tho I’m not into plastic surgery, this was very insightful and I found that your voice was comforting actually. Thank you for this reaction. I thought the video was well made with the illustration inserts. It kept my attention and like I said I’m not into plastic surgery, never have I ever wanted to reconstruct anything. But I understand the culture around it tho. I also love how you affirm your daughter every day. That’s important in this day and world we live in.
Thank you again for this video.
You're one of the most entertaining and logical person on RUclips today, thank you so much for sharing great factual knowledge please keep up the great work you're amazing
I was shocked that anyone would say this young lady was ugly, especially her grandmother. Ugly as compared to her cousins? I don't get it...she's beautiful.
How sad she thought she was ugly. :(
Decades ago, I caught part of an episode of some talk show that had two sets of identical quadruplets on - two sets of children, 4 boys around age 9 and 4 girls perhaps 5 years old. All identical. The little girls were quite fair and redheaded - and giggly - and they were all agreed as to which of them was the prettiest. So who knows??
It's not that shocking, it's the eternal 'beauty pageant' of judging and ranking women openly based on their appearance. I understand it's something established in society, but it needs to stop. People may never stop doing it, but they need to be told to keep it to themselves.
Tygerstripes, good point.
I watched other videos from Japan and it's usually there that if you got fat, your family will tell you that in first minute of meeting. Good looking is so important there that telling someone things like that isn't rude. You want him/her to know that he/she should change to fit and be success in life. Rude in my culture but standard in other 🤷♀️
She is gorgeous and she was absolutely gorgeous before the surgery. Nothing wrong at all. A beautiful face with beautiful natural features that gave her great character.
I can’t stand families that bully the kids in their family. They must have self esteem issues of their own if they feel the need to put her down. Even if she were considered not attractive; even though I think she’s pretty, no one should be telling some one that they look ugly.
Some people don't feel that way themselves. Like you can tell them *you* think they're pretty, but that may not change how they feel about themselves. Smarter people will research procedures like this or find ways to fix their insecurity. But just telling them they're pretty or that there's "nothing wrong" won't help all the time.
@@funkywunkywunker I totally relate, yet I think it might help a lot of people, but only in extremes. One or two people telling me my nose is good would never satisfy me. Now if all of a sudden hundreds of people told me? I'd start to believe them again.
@@maschaorsomething exactly. I'm pretty logic based. That's why it's harder to gain the confidence without doing something to change what bothers me!
Dr. Linkov, thank you for this video! It was really therapeutic to know that others are affected by people’s comments.
For the record, Cherry is beautiful and Dr. Linkov is a total babe-being articulate and intelligent and vulnerable make someone such an attractive human!😊❤
My grandmother told me I was fat. I realized later, I was curvier than my sisters and wasn't pencil thin like them, but certainly NOT fat. I kept telling myself that she is elderly and I won't have to hear it all my life. She lived to be 96, smh. She never changed her view and never stopped telling me I was fat. I'm not happy with myself but I eat health and stay active. That is me living my best life and that's better than hating on others. :)
Calling someone pencil thin isn’t nice either and it makes you sound jealous and bitter.
@@chrismarcello7690 it’s an idiom. She wasn’t being mean.
@@chrismarcello7690 as a pencil thin person I disagree. She was clearly just explaining her sisters were naturally on the lanky lean side. Ive had plenty of bitter people describe my body type in unflattering ways and this woman isnt one of them lol
Whaaat ? I never thought people were saying bad things about your appearance doc
You’re handsome and hella smart, them haters just can’t compete ! Never
🙏
They're jealous he's a doctor who could also slay high fashion runways.
@@yesterdaydream agreed!
Dr. Gary rocks in my book! 💟
How does this guy have no hair, yet still looks so handsome? I dont think I've ever seen anyone pull that off like he does.
Its his charm 🤩 so handsome.
His head looks so clean and shiny like he was built for doing surgeries. No hair to have to pull back or cover up. 10/10 practical
Intelligence is a powerful aphrodisiac!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Dr. Gary, You're my favorite Doctor on RUclips...you're just so real - never change!
🙏
Just wanted to say that I love watching your videos, Dr Gary. Your caring nature and compassion def come through on your commentaries. Thank you for sharing all the good info!
It's really hard in East Asian families, I would say all Asians but I know for me the plastic surgery pressure is real as a Korean. They constantly talk about my nose and overall face shape. My face is really round and flat and my nose wide. I actually really like my face but I know it gets discussed by Koreans here a lot.
It's sad how it is. I feel the natural Korean face is beautiful and unique, and there's something beautiful about things that are just natural.
LIving in Korea I rarely meet young women who don't have eye surgery, but when I do meet them I think they're so beautiful
You are beautiful as you are… you don’t need surgery and I hope they don’t make you thinkyou do. The only people who comment on someone’s looks are insecure in their own.
yup 😐
even if you actually had the face they envisioned , they'll still find flaws 😐
better let in it one ear and out the other ear
Scorpios are cool and they're too good for the rest of the Zodiak. Tell them, "It sucks to be you because you're not a Scorp."
My mom was amazing and always boosted my confidence in my appearance but she always said “Being pretty is nice, but being pretty isn’t something you earned. It’s a nice bonus, but it’s not something to be proud of.” I think this always helped me weight the importance of my achievements against my appearance. That being said we’ve always believed that you should do what makes you feel beautiful - be that skincare, hair dye, tattoos, piercings, injectables or plastic surgery!
Thank you this is a great thing to say to a child
Lmlkmm
Yeah my mom was amazing too in her ways she would always boost my confidence and used to tell me how intelligent, expressive I am but since she was genuine with her compliments she would end it with but you're not a hard working person and without hard work intelligence is useless lol
What if your appearance causes you to not have achievements
I love Dr. Gary! His videos are so well reasoned, neatly produced, and informative.
Such great words in a few minutes of the video, it’s so true. It really doesn’t matter what you look like if you feel good, that is all that matters and that is powerful. That’s so sweet that you are such a great parent to your daughter. Some people are very beautiful and they’re horrible people on the inside and frankly they become less beautiful on the outside because of it. If you ever known someone like this, you know what I mean.
Let's see.....my mother told me I had cellulite on the back of my thighs....my son told me my nose was wide....my (ex) husband told me I was going bald because I had such a high forehead....oh, he also wanted to see me with no makeup, then when I didn't wear makeup for a few days, he told me to put it back on! God, relatives can be so mean!!
WoH what an ass ex
Life isnt easy but whoever reads bible, prsys (best on knees shows respect) & has faith in God has peace & joy beyond underdtsnding. In my twenties I was told on my job you're always pleasant & happy but I lived by myself, didnt make much $, but it just came out that I was ok, happy inside, even though I didn't have anybody to come home to for a long time. Understand, the lord can be ur husbsnd, wife. Mother, fsther, brother or sister & ur never alone.
@@GetReady4LiftOff Pray the ugly away.
her before picture was perfect. it's really sad that anyone would tell her that she's ugly.
Right! It's crazy because she was still so beautiful I can't believe her family or anyone else for that matter would call her ugly
thats all makeup tho
@@rellifyz it’s not lol stop it with the male cope. most women are naturally pretty while the same can’t be said for men 🤢
@@lg7855 nah ive seen hella ugly women
@@rellifyz lol.... Word bro
I have always hated my masculine hooked nose. There were many times I considered a nose job. My husband loves my nose and changing it would have made him very unhappy. At 39 I made a move towards self acceptance and got a nose piercing. Instead of hiding it I just put something sparkly on it :)
Thank you Dr. for your videos. As a 22 years old woman, you helped and keep helping a lot of us by making the plastic surgery thème more accessible and less taboo. Thank you for sharing your experience and vulnerability too at the end of the video
As an asian girl who was adopted by a white family and grew up in white communities with no knowledge of asian culture - I'm glad that I wasn't raised in a situation where I would be held to strict asian beauty standards. I know of another adoptee who went to their bio country for the first time and was criticized for her appearance and called ugly by people she hoped would welcome her.
Wow I feel so bad for her ! That's AWFUL
It is hard there, I am Scandinavian and loved in China for 3 years, one day my boss came to my desk and told me that I was looking fat, made a joke about, and the. Said that it was bad for the image of the company. I was told by a female colleague that that behavior is normal in China, and not considered rude…
@metteK. It is horribly, horribly rude and uncalled for. Don’t listen to them, next time you can say that by Chinese standards, which are impossible for you because you’re not Chinese, it may be true. But by Scandinavian standards, you are considered beautiful. It’s a good thing THEY are not in Scandinavia. Either way, at least you are a sensitive enough person to know it’s unkind to criticize others.
It's interesting you mentioned this. I wont name anyone but I know someone who grew up with both Asian parents, but one parent had several generations in the United States, the other was an immigrant from China. This person told me that their parenting styles were night and day despite being both Asian. The Asian American parent didnt care about how handsome or beautiful she and her family looked. She focused more on other aspects like teaching her children arts and crafts, and individuality and how that is okay. Whereas the parent who grew up in China would often tell their children that they could work on their acne, maybe if they got a nose job, they could find someone to marry, etc. It just illustrates how Chinese and American values are vastly different. And frankly I agree Chinese culture can be toxic and often results in children who end up very insecure about themselves.
It’s not always like that, I grew up with parents and relatives telling me how pretty I was every day
I feel for her the way she was treated and told she was ugly. I have a very wide and large nose. People have been making fun of me for it my whole life. I had always been hurt when people would comment harshly about my looks, but with time I've come to start accepting myself. I see my mother and father in my face and that now means more to me than what other people think I should look like. Someone called me ugly and my reply was, "And? Why does everyone have to be beautiful?" I don't have to look the way other people would prefer to see me. Everyone would have a varying opinion about the way they think I should look. I'm not on this planet to please nasty strangers who think it's okay to put someone down just because of their appearance. Thank you for the video. :)
Beautifully said!
I had the same issue and obtained rhinoplasty while in my 20s. Over the decades since, I have suffered sinus, allergy and breathing issues. Scar tissue was removed about twenty years ago but it has reformed again. No more nose surgeries for me.
I was told it’s the Chinese culture, older people believe praising a child beautiful will make her ugly, so that they say opposite, and it’s also being humble. My friend’s mom introduced my friend as ‘beggar’ daughter to her friends in China … it’s funny but she cried.
Great comment why on earth do we need to be beautiful what kind of life purpose is that just being good to look at according to some stupid standards
the sign of a person with a very easy life and with no real problems-- a desire to get plastic surgery. Fools!
I was with a guy who couldn't get up for me; years later he came out as asexual. The very next guy I found (my husband) can't get enough of me. People are different and their thoughts about you don't define you or have much to do with you. I promise.
I got a nose job when I was 23 and even though I had to put it on a credit card because I couldn't afford it I am SO GLAD I did. I did it for myself. I had a prominent native American nose, and I never hated my nose because i love my culture but it was just tooo big for my tiny face. I actually had to get many teeth pulled too because my jaw was so narrow that my upper canines and my wisdom teeth were all impacted. But I went to the best surgeon in my area and I love the result. No one ever made me insecure about my nose either so it was purely just for my own aesthetic taste
I was called ugly, too. So I went to college, joined the military, and my relatives who belittled me paid for my masters degrees (via the GI Bill) 😂🤣 HAPPINESS AND SUCCESS ARE THE BEST REVENGE
💪💪💪🤩 ah yeah man!!!
Being happy and successful is THE BEST that you can do as silent revenge to those who ever doubted you. I salute, stay cool always ✊✊
You know what? Girls come to realize fairly young , that they don’t get the attention prettier girls get. I knew for sure in high school that boys barely gave me a glance. I had facial plastic surgeries later that helped my self esteem immensely.
So true!!
Same reason me as a man is looking into jaw surgery lol
@@__-wm9lu I totally get it. Best of luck in your journey.
@Pixxel many women experience that too. I am surprised you assume otherwise. Self absorbed much?
@Pixxel wow. If that is your experience.
Gary, you have such a reassuring aura, I would totally trust you doing a great job if I was out there looking for a surgeon 😊
You’re daughter is adorable and you and your wife are doing the right thing Dr Gary!
I just have to say that I have literally zero interest in plastic surgery but I have been binge watching your videos since I found your channel for three reasons: 1. Your voice is very soothing, 2. You come across as a genuine & compassionate person, & 3. Because I honestly enjoy looking at you 😅
You are very handsome in a way that is unique & it makes you all the more attractive to me!
Your wife is an extremely lucky woman, & your daughter is absolutely blessed to be raised by, what I assume are two very thoughtful parents. 💕
Tell her how smart she is, how strong she is, how smart she is, how independent she is. Even reinforcement about looks just brings it down to all about looks.
But we can’t run from people judging us based partially on looks. So the least we can do is raise our kids with the most positivity possible, looks and everything else of course.
@PK Blondie It's all well and good to raise a kid like that, but unfortunately we live in a world that is hyper focused on youth and beauty... which are both fleeting, but.. yeah. I think most people have physical insecurities which makes me wish that diverse bodies were more celebrated.
But what if she's not smart? What if you tell her how smart, strong and independent she is all of her life and then any sign that she isn't as smart, strong, and independent as you've told her she is causes her to feel terrible about herself and feel like she's let you down? The point is, there is not any exact perfect option. Positivity is the best that any parent can do, and the most important thing is to be supportive of your children and help guide them through the insecurities as they come.
@@harperblankenship3017 is that the same as telling her she's attractive or pretty when she isn't? On a positive note her dads a plastic surgeon so everything can be fixed.
@@harperblankenship3017 There are lots of other traits we can recognize and reinforce in children: kindness, resourcefulness, creativity, persistence, empathy, emotional intelligence. Though at the end of the day, verbal praise is less important than focused attention and emotional attunement that kids need in order to feel seen and loved as they are, and to learn that they are indeed lovable.
Ty for your videos Dr Linkov! I love your honesty and the way you make this information easy to understand!! And regarding any negative comments made to you…I think it’s funny how people can be so “brave” behind a screen but would never have the guts to say anything in person! Glad you choose to be the bigger person and continue posting!! Much much appreciated!! Love your channel!!
That's insane, the irony is she's beautiful and the fact that she couldn't see that and that her Gma didn't think so was just sad! Also now that u mention it, I like the way your voice sounds, how calm you are etc.
Can I just emphasize, that, yes, of course telling your child they are beautiful is not a bad thing, but it is important to not only point out theri looks but also, and maybe first and foremost, give them positive feedback about being smart, being empathetic, warm and caring, resilient, amd problem solving. Telling someone "You are beautiful" and nothing else isn't a good thing. Because when you only compliment their beauty, a child may end up believing, that their outward physical appearance is their only relevant quality, everything they are liked for respected for, everything that is important.
Yes of course that’s true. This video was about beauty standards and that’s why I pointed out telling our daughter she’s beautiful. We tell her all the other things too ;).
I was raised like this and always got told "at least you're pretty" and that I don't have any other value. I developed huge complexes with my appearance, 2 decades of anorexia and low self esteem. It's very tiring to try to heal my heart in therapy.
Best advise I every received if you want the "hottest girl" so does every other male.......looks fad you better like the personality of that person....had a buddy truck driver on road all time retired and found his wife was "crasy" at home talking to the dogs.....3 months in he says to the boys I think she's crazy.......we all knew
@@anneong4350 A certain level of baseline praise should exist
Yes a good mix of praise. I was a pretty bright kid. Always told I'm SO smart. Which I kinda was. Started school a year early. Always the youngest in my class. And can remember having melt downs in grade school if I didn't understand a question or problem right away. It's a delicate balance to reach. I don't know if anyone gets it "exactly" right because we're all different. Just focus on the positives. All of them. Hair line is jacked? Not gonna mention it. But you have a beautiful cupids bow/lips. Dumb as a box of rocks? Don't focus on "well at least you're pretty" .... As a teen I'd hate my body cause it didn't look like the magazine images. But as an adult I realize I'm hot in my own way and unique style and I'm not the smartest person in the room but far from the dumbest. And I'm super ok with that now. Our quirks make us cuter than anything. Wish I realized this earlier in life. Glad I'm pretty ok now. It is also about maturing in your mind. I was book smart real young and got street smarts as a late teen. Balance, folks. I know doctors who can't pick up a line for a call placed on hold lol.... It's the ONLY blinky button lit up ... but they can out-doctor any other eye doctor I've met. We all have our strengths. Nobody has the total package. Or very few. Don't hold yourself to someone else's standards. Just be you ❤ love you guys
Edit: also the reason I tell my cat (I have no kids, I'm 37 and she is 18 and has been my baby cat all these years) that she is just as sweet as she is beautiful. And I realize she doesn't understand the words as much as the sentiment. But it just seems like the right thing to do! Cause she is really so sweet and loving and gorgeous! And she doesn't seem to mind the extra encouragement! Meow!
I love the way you look. I also love listening to your voice. It’s calming. You’re doing a great job!
Thanks!
I had a catastrophic accident and had years of reconstructive facial surgery. I’d always wanted to fix a broken nose, but this accident was too much. It was not on purpose. I know my self image after the accident were horrific, to the point the hospital covered up any reflective surface. My mind must have blocked out my old face, as I don’t even recognize myself in photos. I laugh when strangers say my children look like me. Even 30 years later, I only recall the months of pain. When my doctors “suggest” to fix bits as I age, I run away.
Her results were great. Many people have bad results. I hope she gets use to her nose. I'm glad the issue she had with the implant appears corrected.
Dr. Gary, if you get down from people's mean comments, just remind yourself; your a freakin' doctor! You win at life!
Aww thanks.
She is such a beautiful girl. You are so right Dr Gary…it is most likely her boyfriend who has issues and she put it on herself especially after the traumatic words her grandma told her. All of us grow up with hurting words spoken over us. That sucks. Yup, whatever i do for myself is for myself, never for anyone else because if our hope is placed on any other humans, it will crash. Hope she heals from the emotional and physical pains.
Dr. Gary thank you for being open and honest about plastic surgery. How refreshing!
You are a truly wise, kind and genuinely healing doctor.
I'm at a point in my life that 2 autoimmune diseases have taken a toll on me & I feel more unattractive on the outside than I ever have but it's also a time that I've never felt more beautiful on the inside because I've learned to appreciate life & love with my whole heart.
Go queen!!!
You've hit the nail on the head here with self esteem. I can tell you now that I'm 47 years young and it took me until 40 to realize that the starting point is self acceptance. If you don't accept yourself you are setting up for failure, because, it's simply impossible to be anything other than the best version of you..... True self confidence brings out the unique beauty of any feature. As a young woman I worked in nursing homes and was always captivated by the beauty that remains in the eye, no matter how old a person is.
Great video. You have such a good pulse on human nature and such a calm and soothing way of speaking. Very good insight on this young lady's journey to self acceptance. Wish there were more doctor's out there with your level of compassion and understanding.
Thank you so much for posting this video. It really is an important conversation about self-worth and self-confidence. Cherry was beautiful before, as she is now. I am so sorry that she is unhappy.
I understand her. My 10 years older sister called me ugly and fat. My relatives also kept pushing this narration that I'm not the prettier sibling. And that sticks with me to this day. I still feel like a younger, uglier sister and have huge insecurities because of that
I am sorry this is your experience. It is not ok and must be hard for you.
It only shows that your family system is not functioning well. If a family assigns such a role to you, that shows their ugly and weak sides of the heart. I am not saying that to be rude. But it is a choice to put somebody down or to fight your own demons a
Ppt 2 and be kind. If you already told them how that makes you feel, I hope you can get help elsewhere. Please talk to friends to get support, you deserve to be apprrciated
:( that's so mean. Why? 💞 I'm sure you are lovely inside and out.
My brother always called me fat growing up
I went through the same thing....36 years old now and still in the process of overcoming and uprooting the lies...reprogramming my soul with a new narrative
I watched Cherry's video a while ago and commented there, but I think I should also point out that sex is not about attractiveness, it is about connection. Interestingly, some men can only perform when they feel a deep connection, while others can only perform when there isn't. Go figure.
I have an ex that had ED, it started when he was with his ex before me. He realized that once he cared about a woman he just stopped thinking of her sexually. We broke up because of this and a few years later I ran into him again and he said it’s still an issue, he only has interests in one night stands.
@@anditspaganpoetry that's clearly a psychological issue...he might want to get some professional help for that.
Not to mention that a lot of men nowadays have disfunctions as very young. If they aren't open about it, and their partners aren't too emotionally involved, it's the best to part ways without making it their problem. In most cases, a healthy relationship should involve a healthy sex life.
@@anditspaganpoetry Thats weird. I'm the opposite.
Of course it's about attractiveness or rather, being attracted to the other person. Maybe the guy had an impotency problem, maybe HE was insecure but it's also possible that HER feeling unattractive caused her to act in a way that made the situation awkward and destroyed "the mood".
You have such a wise and broad perspective on things. Also your videos are very relaxing to watch.
Your voice and demeanour is so calm and peaceful.
Just at the end of this video and I CANNOT BELIEVE that people would make comments on your appearance! Dude! You freaking rock! I love your channel and your input!
Thanks!
Body shaming is never okay.
I learned the hard way that words matter.
When my daughter was in her teens she was physically gorgeous, but said to me once that she thought she was ugly because of what I had said to her when she was growing up. You see, when she needed some course correction for her behavior when she was little, I would tell her what my mother told me, “Don’t be ugly”, meaning your behavior was unattractive, not you are physically unattractive, which I understood implicitly but my daughter took literally. She actually thought I was telling her I thought she was ugly and it broke my heart to think I didn’t even realize what I was saying.
Watch your words.
Even if it’s not as obviously hurtful as likening someone’s appearance to a “zested lemon” [😳] it might still hurt.
A similar thing happened to me. People would say “God doesn’t like ugly” and to me I felt that meant oh I’m ugly and that means God doesn’t like me. I think media doesn’t help because they always make the villains ugly. I think this subconsciously makes people associate beauty with goodness and value and unattractiveness with worthlessness which isn’t fair.
This is a bit different but I used to say to my daughter about school work and tests “just do your best” meaning it’s not that important and you will be fine. Unfortunately she understood it to literally mean “be perfect” because that would be her best right? So for years she felt under so much pressure to always get top grades, that she ended up having to quit school because of anxieties.
I felt so bad when I found out about this misunderstanding 😣
@@mememe733 I totally understand. ❤️
THANK you for REVEALING and EXPOSING.... Your HONESTLY is appreciated dear. Bless you, keep up the great work!!!
I personally really appreciate your look Dr. Gary as well as your beautiful wife when you have her appear in your videos. I feel that there is a certain clean, fresh, and simple energy you and your wife give off that makes me feel at ease when watching your videos. :D Thank you for providing all the great content!