Two years ago I met a woman who was caught up in the feminist movement and had adopted that worldview/mindset. She hated the idea of submitting to a man and coming under male authority. I prayed for her a lot and eventually we watched a series on marriage by Dr. Vodie Baucham. Once she understood the level of responsibility that is placed on a man to lead his wife and family, she wasn't so inclined to fight against that structure anymore. More than that though, God opened her eyes to see the beauty of marriage as He created it to be. To see how marriage is a reflection of what Christ's relationship is to His bride, the church, whom He gave His life for. We have been married for almost a year now and everyday she strives more and more, to be a good and submissive wife. And everyday, with prayer and supplication I strive to be a Godly husband and spiritual leader. The power of God to change the hearts and minds of people never ceases to amaze me.
I too felt resentment towards a woman's role as laid out in the Bible. However, the Holy Spirit opened my eyes after being married and having children that motherhood is not a burden. The curse from the fall to woman says "your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you." This ongoing tension between the sexes reflects our broken world. In the garden Adam and Eve had different roles pre-fall. Only in our modern individualistic culture do we scoff at gender roles and think equality=fairness. If a Christian husband is leading Biblically, it is not a heavy handed "do what I say, slave" mentality. He in turn has to submit to God which means loving sacrificially. While there are cases where men exercise sinful authority over their families, that is not the example we are to follow.
"She hated the idea of submitting to a man and coming under male authority." No, she didn't. Did she ever have a male boss? Did she ever have a male teacher, or professor? Did she ever get pulled over by a male police officer? Did she ever obey a law written, voted on, and signed by male politicians, and enforced by male law enforcement agents? Women - especially feminists - have no problem submitting to a man, as long as that man is not their husband.
I was literally having this conversation with my son last night. There is great pressure/responsibility to be a man worth following, if someone has to die defending the family who does the responsibility fall on? If the family is destitute who is to blame? When someone was breaking into our car at 1:00am I got the elbow to wake up and deal with it. I didn’t turn to my wife and say ‘you got this’.
That's some bullshit, sorry that your wife can't take care of herself bit most women can and don't need their husband's to kill the spider or check for noises downstairs.
When I got married earlier this year - the Pastor wondered whether I would want "obey" in the vows to my husband, I said "Yeah, of course" haha they were shocked haha They put it in, I was very happy. I believe God didn't make a mistake when he made the gender roles, and the apostles, inspired by God, knew what they were saying. The advice I give to women is - find yourself a God-fearing husband, someone who is aligned with the word of GOD- this way when you obey them - you know they're leading you in the right direction. This is also why it's so important for fathers and mothers to ensure their daughters marry the right type of man, and their sons marry the right type of woman.
@@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485 I assume OP means the bride's vow in the Anglican "Solemnization of Matrimony" (borrowed by many other denominations): I N. take thee N. to my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and _to obey,_ till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.
This pointing out of the difference between the command for husband and wife that I've heard Doug make before is really something I found quite epiphanal. Why does it command husband's to love their wives? Because we're not good at it, and it takes conscious effort. Why does it command wives to be submissive? Because they're not good at it. And after being married for about 6 years now, I so very much understand this. And probably one of the main reasons we miss this simple truth/distinction when reading that section of Scripture is that just as with any other sin, we don't want to admit that we have that problem.
This is what happens when feminism gets into the Church. Been married 21 years happily. My wife truly adores me and we have a great marriage. We don’t follow the Biblical rules as we should but at the end of the day if it’s a serious issue she always submits after we have a discussion. It’s hard to be in charge when you have a smart wife and she’s usually right about things. But we love and follow the Lord and I do see myself as the spiritual leader, as she does also.
The fact that you respect her as a smart wife and actually discuss things is probably part of the reason it works. If more patriarchal men were like that patriarchy wouldn’t have such a bad reputation.
@@fujikokun it may sometimes mean that. Bad is a vague word. There are times we need to submit to authority figures even when it’s hard. There are other times we should not submit. Hopefully a group of elders would step in if a wife is with a husband who is too bad and rebuke him. She may have to draw boundaries at a certain point.
I’m not serious. A message like this would not be hear by anyone who thinks they are justified by the majority. She even has a pastor that supports her and gives her tips on how to argue with me. Needless to say we don’t go to church together.
@@treybarnes5549 that right there is a house divided. There’s much work to be done brother, you need to pray and fast and begin reforming so that she can follow where you pave the way. If you are more faithful to scripture than her pastors you will be the better man that she will hopefully follow
I was informed of a Facebook post, posted by someone I know, who claims Christianity, and believes Doug Wilson is in a cult. Her main reasoning being this topic of submission. I unfriended her. Thanks Doug for submitting to the authority of scripture.
“Submit therefore to one another.” Also a clear passage. There are several hard-hearted assumptions in this one-sided commentary. Some are Abigail’s - and praying for them would be far more helpful. 😬😔
A video on how to teach men who have been raised by their mothers who were hard hearted and not submissive, on how to actually lead as a man since they did not see their own fathers do it. Or when their fathers tried, they were railroaded into submission. I see this pattern often in my own life and relationships. Men afraid to lead, no idea what to do with the reins in their hands when it comes to relationships. Some are shaped by the world and feminism, but it often starts much younger and in the home where they see how their own father acted. Also of note, there are many wives who are being the "leader" not out of choice but because their husband is either unwilling or still learning how to fill the role. As always, a lovely video. The world needs more strong men, who are brave, unafraid to lead, as bold as Jesus speaking the truth and leading.
I’m noticing many of the comments in this section have leadership backwards. What I mean is they are staring at their wife judging her and wondering how to make her do what they want. That’s not leading. It’s managing. And nagging. But leading is facing your mission, not your wife. The man follows Christ. He feeds the poor. He serves the weak . He invited people over. And he invites his wife and children to follow. He picks up his cross and follows Christ. His wife helps him on the particular way he is doing that.
I want a No Quarter November T shirt… it’ll be a great witness opportunity if someone ask me what it meant. Obedience to God means . Don’t blaspheme him.
@@Zaloomination effectively it means that you won’t allow liars, crooks, thieves, or evil people in your midst that would do you harm. Providing “No Quarter” means prohibiting them around your proverbial campfire, putting them up with room and board, or allowing them a word edgewise in discussion.
For a long time I felt resentment towards a woman's role as laid out in the Bible. However, the Holy Spirit opened my eyes after being married and having children that being a wifr and mother is not a burden. The curse from the fall to woman says "your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you." This ongoing tension between the sexes reflects our broken world. In the garden Adam and Eve had different roles pre-fall. Only in our modern individualistic culture do we scoff at gender roles and think equality=fairness. If a Christian husband is leading Biblically, it is not a heavy handed "do what I say, slave" mentality. He in turn has to submit to God which means loving sacrificially. While there are cases where men exercise sinful authority over their families, that is not the example we are to follow.
You didn't clarify but since people are often confused, I'd like to point out that that curse is descriptive and not prescriptive. "You will attempt to usurp your husband's authority and browbeat him, but he will deal harshly with you to put you in your place." The desire spoken of is the same desire sin has for Cain in the following passage, the desire to conquer in a corrupting way, to dominate and destroy. The passage is not saying what women should do, or approving of the way men have a tendency to respond to it (which you can see some examples of in a few bitter comments in the main thread).
For 2000 year the church translated that verse a certain way and a woman named Susan Poh gave it a new meaning in the 80s. Her friend, Grudem was a translator for the ESV and changed the wording of the text. I’ll stick with the translation of Calvin and Luther and pretty much every other theologian in history.
Since there has been so much talk about how we are to defy and/or our governments if they are forcing us to violate God's law or if they are breaking God's law, do Christian wives have the same obligation when it comes to their husbands? I am not trying to endorse feminism, and I agree with the thrust of what is being said here, but I would like some biblical clarity here. Thanks.
U must have not been actually listening to what Doug Wilson was saying in the video, because he makes it clear he isnt talking about abusive husband's or husband's doing evil and wrong that is clearly defined as that in scripture.
Just like Christians are to submit to go governing authorities to the extent of their jurisdiction outlined by God, wives are only to submit to the extent of their husbands jurisdiction as outlined by God. See the story of Abigail and Nabal, and David.
No if your husband is in sin, it needs to be brought before the church, if he breaks the law, like beating you etc, you call the police and your pastor.
Adrien Kones, where in the video does he make it clear he isn’t talking about abuse? Not arguing. It’s just I watched it twice and couldn’t find it. I know he’s against abuse, just didn’t hear it in this video
You do not get a free pass to refuse to obey your husband because he's otherwise in sin. You may only refuse to obey sinful demands -- or flee violence
Just watched a tv show where a teenager vows to maintain an egalitarian relationship... And then referred to it as a dance. Uh... I've got two left feet, and even I know that dancing requires the man to lead.
Goodness sakes.....Lots of substance here... Good idea to obey God because He knows how things work best, being the Creator...but also, was wondering if the Sisters in Moscow have been cutting up rough lately?
Jesus forgive me, but if anyone needs to see a practical example of a woman submitting to a jerk, they have only to meet my wife. I'm a lot better than I was when we met 15+ years ago, but I still have a long way to go. Thank God, He provided me with a practical example to learn from!
From what I can see, this is where the chips have fallen. Three men on here are saying you can beat your wife. Others are saying women are below men in every way. That’s where the chips are falling.
To hear such Biblical truth plainly spoken is music to my ears and balm to my soul. I was beginning to think I was going mad in this crazy feministically led society (and that includes the so called Christian church). My wife left me after 27 years of marriage... I am apparently too impatient and have a short temper. She meanwhile is powering on in her new found church with full support from the pastor and his co pastor wife 🤮🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
@@michaellautermilch9185 I knoww, so unfortunate that women are departing from adverse situations - like long term relations with men who can't control their tempers.
When the older women are told to teach the younger women to submit to/obey their husbands in Titus, the word "hupotasso" is used. Paul also chooses that word when he is describing how Christians ought to relate to one another in his letter to the Ephesians (chapter 5). That little subheading in our Bibles between 5:21 and 5:22 didn't exist in Paul's original letter. The thought train was meant to continue uninterrupted. All Christians are to submit to one another. We are to esteem others as better than ourselves, putting their needs and preferences above our own. Yes, there are specific roles in marriage just as there are specific roles in the Church (1 Corinthians 12).
Ephesians 5 does not teach mutual submission in marriage. The heading may not have been in Paul's letter as originally written, but the change in context was. Surely you don't think the idea of mutual submission continues as Paul is talking about children submitting to parents, do you? And "hypotasso" is a military metaphor. That alone should nip any egalitarian interpretation in the bud.
@@adamwalker2377 The word used in Eph 5 is hupotasso, not to be confused with hypotasso. The word used in 6:1 (children obey your parents) is hupakouo. 3 different words, 3 different meanings. Submission does not equal obedience and I think that may be where you are getting hung up. There are times where a parent would like to do something, but the needs of their children require a different action on their part. Therefore, the parent must submit their desire to the child's needs. Do the children boss the parent around and dictate how their days are spent? Heavens, no! When the baby wakes in the middle of the night with a dirty diaper, does a godly (and exhausted) parent refuse to get up until morning to change them because they are the ones in power and God says they get to call the shots? Parents are not called to obey children, but they are called to voluntarily choose to submit their will to their child's needs (and sometimes wants) as love and grace warrant. Thus, not provoking their children to wrath, as Paul warns fathers against doing.
@@heathereads9594 and what word is used to describe how Sarah "obeyed" Abraham? I'll have to check on the difference between hupo and hypo. I always considered them to be interchangeable transliterations. You're equivocating on a technicality with the word "submit", but your argument is correct as far as it goes. There's still a hierarchy, even if the one at the top of that hierarchy bears responsibility for those beneath him. The parental/husbandly responsibility to look after the children/wife does not translate that hierarchy into egalitarianism.
@@adamwalker2377 Ephesians 5 *does* teach mutual submission and its in the original Greek. But that doesn't mean the submission is egalitarian. But it is mutual.
@@christian1172-z9e and that's why I consider you a feminist. Eph 5 only can mean mutual submission, only if you equivocate on the meaning of "submit" and stretch it way outside of it's intended meaning. Eph 5:21 is the end of a previous thought about Christian brotherhood. It's violence to Paul to atomize Eph 5:22 from the context which completely disagrees with the interpretation you're trying to create. No honest reader can conclude that Eph 5:22 is an argument about mutual submission in marriage any more that he can conclude that the parts that follow are talking about mutual submission between parents and children.
Again, the parallel with homosexuality is plain. "Paul couldn't have known about crappy husbands" sounds an awful lot like "Paul couldn't have possibly known about loving, monogamous, committed homosexual relationships". We either conform to Christian norms, or we do not.
I thought that at first, but only certain comments are being deleted. It seems human. I asked them why they were deleting my comments and they stopped. They’ve deleted my comments in their blog as well. The Wilson world is big into cancel culture even if they speak against it.
@@adamwalker2377 I know all analogies break down at a certain point, but I think it's important to point out where that analogy breaks down because many of the men in this comment section seem to think the two are completely analogous. I don't know how to speak clearly without taking a few paragraphs. Sorry! Here's how I'm understanding your analogy: Just as Paul knew about crappy husbands and still required wives to submit, in the same way he knew about committed homosexual relationships and expected them to repent and break up. Let me know if I'm misunderstanding. I agree that God's word doesn't disappear when things get tough. It doesn't cater to our comfort. Amen! Where I think your analogy breaks down: 1.) Homosexuality is *always* wrong. Breaking up is *always* the answer. A wife saying no to her husband is not *always* wrong. Submission is not *always* the answer. Sometimes, saying no to a husband is required. Think Saphirra or Abigail. If you're a reasonable man, you probably think this is obvious and doesn't need to be said. In these comments alone I've been told women should submit to abuse twice. I've seen one lady called a "snowflake" because she's concerned about her abused friend. And go back an listen to minute 6:00 in the video. How would an abused women hear that? 2.) In a homosexual relationship *two* people are sinning. One is not sinning *against* the other, thereby victimizing him. Matthew 18 tells us how to deal with people who victimize us. Comparing a victimizing relationship to a "committed, loving" relationship is not equivalent. We are to be just as concerned for the husband's obedience as the wife's. I know all husbands are sinners and wives are called to submit to their sinful husbands, but it is limited. The prohibition against homosexuality is not limited. Your second question, does gender matter? Yes, but this isn't about gender. I am called to submit to my husband because of my *role* as wife. One man in these comments rebuked me for not submitting to him. He thought that all women need to submit to all men - that submission is a female virtue. It is not. Submission is a role. Men and women submit to the elders and civil magistrates. I submit to my *own* husband. Eve was made to be Adam's helpmeet. She was not made to be Cain's helpmeet. Submission is role based. To me, a closer analogy would by, "Just like Paul knew the Roman government was often wrong, yet told Christians to submit, in the same way he knew Husbands were sinners and told the wives to submit."
@@christian1172-z9e I'll be honest, I don't know exactly what Pastor Doug means by "training" but if it's in reference to a woman trying to control headship, she'd be better off remaining single. At least, that's how I've understood it from Paul. :)
I'm a husband in the middle of trying to organize around the house everyday for an hour or so after I get home from work. I just started this week and choose the contents of the kitchen as it's the least organized. I'm going through and setting aside anything we haven't used in years, things that are expired, and things we have duplicates or multiple of FYI. My wife comes out of her office each evening on her breaks (she works from home) and begins to argue with every decision I have made. i.e. She thinks we need 50 years supply of vanilla butter and nut extract that expired 7 years ago and argues with me like this is a hill worth dieing on. QUESTION #1: How do I inform her that she needs to be obedient to me her husband especially given the fact that I'm trying to help? QUESTION #2: I know I haven't given a lot of info here but, am I wrong on how I'm doing things by this summary? I'm open to advice.
If your wife doesn't know that it is wrong to rebel against your authority, try your best to teach her right from wrong. You probably should have that talk separately from any ongoing arguments between you, because the goal isn't for you to win an argument. You want her to stop sinning and be godly. I'd suggest leading her in a Bible study on Ephesians 5 to bring the conversation up. Your goal is not to force her submission, but to teach her that she should willingly choose to submit. As the leader, it is your job to set the right path before her, and encourage her to walk in it.
If she wants to be in charge of the home she needs to do the work of the home. The home is her responsibility and your responsibility as the husband is to make sure her responsibilities get done when she fails at doing her responsibilities. You're doing exactly right. As far as authority, if she's not convinced that she has to SUPPORT every decision you make unless it's a) against God's express command b) illegal c) life threateningly harmful, then all you can do is tell her that ; she should've already been convicted of that as a prereq for getting engaged. Good luck to you, I don't envy you
Find a free copy of William Gouge's 1622 work "treatise on domestical duties." Read through it together. Pay special attention to where he explains that submission is shown in "indifferent things"
If you have a good idea, like cleaning the kitchen, convince her of it through loving compassionate discussion. Through persuasion, long suffering, gentleness, meekness and love unfeigned. You know, the opposite of how the government is forcing mandates on all of us. Christ is the light, the life, and truth. Even so, he didn’t force anyone to His way of thinking (speaking of His earthly ministry) Your wife, for whatever reason sees your cleaning of the kitchen as an act of aggression against her. If you can talk it out with her so she sees your point of view and sees that’s the changes you desire to make in the household are borne out of love, you’ll be alright. If not, you may end up like me. Divorced
Because hypotassō (submit), literally “station oneself under,” fits perfectly with the idea of the man and woman as one body, with the husband as the head and the woman as the body stationed under that head.
@@vanessaloy1049 It isn’t a matter of totality, since wifely submission is to be in all things (Eph 5:24), like children’s obedience (Col 3:20). I suspect it has to do with the difference of relationship and purpose. Children are part of the one family, but husband and wife are themselves to be one. In some sense, maybe “submission” suggests a narrowing hierarchical difference, whereas obedience is unbridgeable, because the children and slaves are to be strictly obedient and as long as they are children or slaves, their will is strictly subordinate, whereas the wives, by being submissive, are aligning themselves into ever closer unity with their husbands, who reciprocally are loving them and seeking to meet their needs, and so the husband-wife duo, in the limit, will share one will in total harmony, just as Christ and the church will one day share one will in eternity. I’m not totally sure, and you’re definitely asking a good question. The text itself seems to rule out some of the answers I might have reached for initially (submission does not involve practical obedience; submission is less absolute than obedience; etc.).
They are interchangeable most of the time. Submission is putting yourself under the authority of another, which naturally includes obedience. Obedience means you just do what you are told. So the former is a richer word that includes the latter. 1 Peter 3 also says "obey" for the woman, side by side with submit, confirming its meaning when it comes to marriage. Nearly every use of the word submission in the New Testament refers to submission to an authority over you, or being controlled by a more powerful force.
@@matOperaAccording to Ephesians 5:21, every believer should be hupotasso-ing. Husbands, wives, single men, single women. If we take this into context with other passages in Paul's other writings, such as Phillipians 2, we can see this is a theme and take it to its logical conclusion.
Yo dog, i just caught you in that other vid on a wicked nonsequitur about Christ's submission to the father somehow implying there is nothing intrinsic/metaphysical about the woman's (non?) subservient place in Biblical theology. So good luck with all this lol. Nonetheless thanks for all you do.
Wonder why God arranged things this way? It doesn't make much sense to me , He could have made any rule He wanted , why would He choose one that would be responsible for so much suffering. I was born and raised in a strong patriarchy kind of society and I can tell from experience that the abuse of women was beyond words. I strongly believe this is what caused the rise of feminism . Things got better , due to influence from the west and laws protecting women from abuse . My own husband is kind and doesn't play the 'submit card " openly , but I can tell you every major family decision he made against my better judgement and ignoring my wishes failed . Everyone of them ( and he did it repeatedly ), with negative consequences for us .
Your suspicion about the start of feminism is correct. The first wave feminist movement was strongly tied to the temperance movement because so many men were coming home drunk and beating their wives. Ladies wanted the domestic abuse laws changed to protect them, but couldn’t vote. This is part of the reason why the right to vote became such a big deal. God didn’t set it up this way.
Wanted to add, you might appreciate listening to Todd Bordow or Sam Powell. They are pastors who speak to these issues. They are orthodox Reformed men, but they are not Red Pilled misogynists like the guys in these comments. God loves both his sons and daughters and he cares for the vulnerable.
This is a really excellent overview, and gives deserved rebuke to the liberals who deny the biblical doctrine of male headship. Despite negative expectations though, men should know there are plenty of women out there just waiting for them to take charge. There are women looking for traditional husbands, or waiting for their rather passive husband to become a little more traditional and be a real leader. Don't buy the watered-down modern ministry version of headship either. Men have real authority by their position, and wives place themselves under that authority and obey. No amount of intellectual indoctrination can make a woman not a woman, for she is feminine by nature, and deeply fulfilled by that role. Having counseled many couples as well, I can't tell you how common it is for a woman raised to be independent, and who even has a bit of an attitude, to say she desires a strong man who will lead her. Then, despite the awkwardness she feels at first, she begins to learn to follow him. She learns to be gentler, to be silent, to obey commands. Women are waiting for you to start leading, guys. That includes many women who appear "strong" and independent from the outside. Do not doubt it.
Divorce only if the spouse commits adultery according to Christ himself. Since those are legitimate grounds for divorce I don’t see how remarriage in that case would be forbidden.
People will disagree on this. Many conservative churches believe there are two reasons, adultery and abandonment. Most think of physical abuse as being a type of abandonment since the husband is supposed to protect the wife and children.
@@christian1172-z9e Ah, but the question wasn't "What do many conservative churches believe" but rather "what is biblical." Matt 5:32 "but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery." This is repeated several times. (Mark 10, 1 Cor 7, Mat 19, etc.) Abandonment is divorce. The paperwork may be filed later, but it merely documents an event which has already taken place.
Of course. It doesn’t matter what you believe either. You are interpreting. You are not the Bible. But God gives us pastors who can study constantly and know the Greek and Hebrew. Most who have extensively studied the scripture believe the scripture allow for divorce for abandonment and adultery. They aren’t making it up. They are getting it from the scriptures. It would take more than a RUclips comment to unpack all they say, so I simply answered the question.
@@CornerTalker the 2 reasons seem to be extreme abuse and sexual immorality, there have been cases in scripture where people broke God's laws but it wasn't bad because it was a life or death scenario, God desires mercy not sacrifice principle, if a wife is getting punched in the head are you just going to tell her to stay until she dies from it? I think not
What are the biblical instructions for Christian women that dated Dr. Jekyll and married Mr. Hyde? Since you haven't mentioned a remedy, I'm inclined to think there isn't one. I'm sorry, but there is MASSIVE potential for abuse here.
Sure! RUclips won’t let me share a link. But there’s a blog called “Crying for Justice” run by a lady who gives info and resources to those in abusive situations, or who aren’t sure if they are. Also, Dr. Diane Langberg has a site named after herself. She’s a Christian psychologist who has worked with these issues for decades. She’s very level headed and Christ centered. She has a resource page with lots of helpful articles. Sam Powell, a Reformed pastor, has a blog called “My Only Comfort”. If you search for gender or marriage you’ll find his site is a gold mine. He talks about the theological misunderstandings that Reformed people sometimes have that make marriage harder than it needs to be. Hope these are helpful.
There is always potential for abuse. Wilson believes in church discipline, not to mention calling the cops, so he’s not abandoning the woman or her children to suffer.
Ha ha ha! Very disrespectful. I myself am tempted to trim my husband’s bushy eyebrows in his sleep 😆. There are bigger fish to fry and on balance he is a wonderful man.
W O M A N: ● changes her name. ● changes her home. ● leaves her family. ● moves in with you. ● builds a home with you. ● gets pregnant, the pregnancy changes her body. ● she gains weight ● almost gives up in the labour room due to the unbearable pain of child birth.. ● even the kids she delivers bear your name.. ------------------- Til the day she dies.. everything she does... cooking, cleaning your house, taking care of your parents, bringing up your children, earning, advising you, ensuring you can be relaxed, maintaining all family relations, everything that benefits you.. sometimes at the cost of her own health, hobbies and beauty. So who is really doing whom a favour? Dear men, appreciate the women in your lives always, because it is not easy to be a woman. Being a woman is priceless.
To afford a wife is one thing. To afford a divorce is another. Our legal system has done much damage to the institution of marriage. Proceed with extreme caution.
Don't wait for the right financial moment, as it will never come! Once you find the right godly woman, don't wait to ask her (and ask her fathers permission, following what the Bible teaches in Numbers 30).
5:00..Doug Wilson Quote of the Day: "....if your Pastor tells you that Jesus turned water 160 gallons of into grape juice...how can you trust anything he says?" 📖...🕎🎎🎊🏺🏺🏺🏺🏺🏺💦🔜🗜🍇𝟙𝟞𝟘 gal {🍼👶🏽🥤👧🏻}🍷‰ ℀☞ 😬🤥😖🤬😠🗯⁉️🚫🎉🍾🥂
The micro cycle(80 years): Hard times create strong men Strong men create good times Good times create baby boomers Baby boomers create hard times... The macro cycle(800-1200 years): Hard times create patriarchy(where rights are dependent on responsibilities, since men usually take more responsibilities than women this system is described as patriarchy) Patriarchy creates good times Good times creates feminism(equal rights independent of responsibilities) Feminism burns everything down, creating hard times... To Adam God said, "Because YOU LISTENED TO YOUR WIFE & ate from the tree about which I commanded you not to: Cursed is the ground because of you, through painful toil you will eat of it, all the days of your life." -Genesis 3:17 Man's hiearchy of needs: 1 Safety 2 Food & Water 3 Shelter & Sleep 4 Social & Sexual needs 5 Communal & self esteem needs 6 Self Actualization Women's hiearchy of needs: 1 Equality of Opportunity 2 Equality of Outcome 3 Equality of Authority 4 Equal Authority with no Responsibility 5 All the Authority with no Responsibility for the women, with all the Responsibilities & no Authority for the man or men(especially sexual Responsibilities & Authorities). A tyrant has 100% authority with 0% responsibility. A slave has 100% responsibility with 0% authority. Today marriage, as redefined by the female democratic majority and family court system, makes the man a slave to a tyrant wife, who can divorce him at will, stealing his children, his wealth, and his human dignity. All womens natural unregulated desire is to have sex with high status bad bad boys and get innocent men to pay for the responsibility consequences(abortions, kids ect.). That's why women, no matter how meritocratic, should never vote. Women want equal rights authority to make all the decisions in their own life when the alpha f*cks opportunity is there. Its when responsibility slowly comes knocking that women want to shift responsibility back over to innocent men. Women want to sit at the poker table of the socio-sexual market place & make bets & authorize promises in the hundreds of thousands in reproductive costs when they can only actually back up a few pennies worth of responsibility. If women CAN'T take responsibility for a authorization, then they CAN'T have equal authority/rights as the guy who can. Show me a man who takes by force what he wants from women and I'll show you 100 women who vote to take by force what they want from men. Show me a grave created by patriarchy and Ill show you an entire graveyard created by feminism/communism. "Any society that negates the role of the father in the voluntarily marriage contract from decent civilization building men and replaces it with a involuntary centralized welfare state will not remain civilized for long."
And I don’t hold to the Wayne Grudem new translated ESV. it’s not grammatically accurate. You are woke. Only In the right side of things. But same sloppy thinking.
With all due respect to your age, wisdom and life experience, might I suggest that the underlying problem here is that we have too many men without chests; feminized, soft, without any idea how to be a strong leader that women can respect. Granted, their lack of masculinity does not justify female rebellion to God's holy law; just that wimpy men, tend to create harridans.
But that’s just the equal and opposite problem that pastor Wilson brought up: Were there no wimpy husbands in the 1st century? Were all men worthy of respect back then? No. But women were called to obedience to their husbands regardless. Not because all men deserve to be respected but that God deserves to have us follow his commands.
@@quickattackfilms7923 Fair enough; there have always been wimpy men and that does not excuse them from obeying God. However, may I suggest that first century culture tended to create hard working, responsible men, simply because the technology of the time forced men, to be well, men! Look at the "herbivore" men of Japan; men who never grow out of adolescence, living at home, playing games and reading manga and watching anime, supported by their parents. Japan has a devastating birth rate that will lead to cultural suicide because technology allows men to remain children. The Japanese man of today, is not at all the same as his grandfather (and yes, that was a different kind of problem).
@@therealkillerb7643 Yeah, we no doubt have a whole new list of sins to fall into. Technology definitely makes it easy to coast through life. I’ve never heard of “herbivore men” but, from the sounds of it, I’m basically one of them lol. Laziness, stagnation, and gluttony are just more sinful tendencies people like me have to overcome. But that definitely wouldn’t give my wife, if I had one, license to sinfully defy me, and I’m sure you agree.
Absolutely. In all things except evil. The more biblical comparison is that she submits to her husband as the Church submits to Christ. But on a basic level it is comparable to submitting to other authorities.
Since this is “not quarter Nov,” I think Pastor Wilson didn’t qualify it but it’s understood? It seems to me that Doug Wilson is addressing rebellion on this video. Just a thought.
I am basing my response off of a comment he made. I dont know him personally so I'll take y'alls word for it. The comment just rubbed me the wrong way. (He mentioned the word abusive, and since I'm watching this as someone who doesnt follow often, I took it at face value) I agree with everything in the video. Women should submit to their own husbands. They should remain with their husbands unless their lives or their children's lives are in danger.
Let's go one step higher than brother Wilson. What does Jesus say about divorce? You only seek a divorce because of the HARDNESS of your heart. The only exception Jesus gave for divorce was sexual immorality. That's it, nothing else. If your heart and feelings supercede the heart of Christ and His word, then you might as well stop being a Christian.
I need to stop emotionally reacting to these titles. (1) They are obviously rhetorical devices, Clickbait, or both. (2) as such, getting angry when reading them makes me look like an idiot, especially if I know what’s going on. Anyway, let’s see what’s in this video.
Encouraging people to work for achievement as well as the satisfaction of their spouse does not contradict each other. The piece of obedience doesn't signify an absence of character, nor does it push for stagnation in one's social life. I still think that men having some upper hand in decision making is wise, and that women do let that happen in subtle ways and feel in ease with it. However, that wisdom will be missed if you think that what was meant was to preach against women who are economically productive. What's gonna happen when technology solves the issue of time? Will you still say that women cannot juggle both family and social life? Obedience is misunderstood just as much as god or worship is often misunderstood. How could women who knows the evil intention of her husband submit, in bed even, to his wishes? If he is not evil, then, at least he is as flawed as any other man? How naive do you think it is to let someone call the shots for you? Even if they are familiar to your needs, they would be robbing your opportunity to learn, grow, and correct your flaws. Thus, meeting god better then you were. Obedience is not what you make sound like. Marital life is about the details, man fail at the details, women excel, they carry it well. Yet, when it comes to acting as a couple in the world, how many wives feel the need to look for their husbands? Women have an emotional need for man in hardship, one that requires submission to be met. This is something we could sense, observe, and even measure. Except this, all calls for obedience are calls for degradation.
Op has been brainwashed by feminists info egalitarianism and seems unable to understand Biblical gender roles. You need to go back to basics. The Gospel
@@oussamasaci I'm exercising spiritual discernment and warning others about your error. My comment to you was that you need to understand the Gospel before Biblical gender roles make sense to you
The point is that Elder Women are to teach women. I'm tired of men thinking they have the Authority to teach women how to do these things. Too many Preachers from the pulpit thinking because they have a pupit it their place.
Men are to teach everyone. When woman teach it is to be to other woman (Titus 2). Men have full right to teach on woman’s specific areas, as Paul did in multiple epistles.
@@c.m.880 no they do not. He literally state Elder women to teach younget women on the things of marriage. See that the problem. People are so willing to point at what Women can't teach but you point out a Man can't in this area the Hypocrisy comes out.
What you see as obsession is only because you like the rest of the culture are so far off the rails that anything outside of your experience looks abnormal, when you are the outlier
@@waakow Are you admitting that such an obsession exists? For future reference, you will often step in poo by immediately appealing to the highest "good" by means of greatest power.
@@horrificpleasantry9474 What you see as an obsession (sin) is only because you like the rest of your cult are so far off the rails that anything outside of your tribe looks abnormal, when you are the outlier. Presupps are right though, perspective changes everything.
I was hoping that you'd provide interesting points to refute feminist and egalitarian arguments, but alas it was the usual strawmen and complaining I've come to expect from men of the faith. Sad
Today's FREE book is: "Reforming Marriage" by Douglas Wilson
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Thanks for making this free! I’m very excited to read through it.
Our premarital counseling used this book. Love it!
Thanks for this free gift, will begin reading this weekend...
This is an excellent book! Thank you!!
Is there a transcript? I need to check a few definitions
Two years ago I met a woman who was caught up in the feminist movement and had adopted that worldview/mindset. She hated the idea of submitting to a man and coming under male authority. I prayed for her a lot and eventually we watched a series on marriage by Dr. Vodie Baucham. Once she understood the level of responsibility that is placed on a man to lead his wife and family, she wasn't so inclined to fight against that structure anymore. More than that though, God opened her eyes to see the beauty of marriage as He created it to be. To see how marriage is a reflection of what Christ's relationship is to His bride, the church, whom He gave His life for. We have been married for almost a year now and everyday she strives more and more, to be a good and submissive wife. And everyday, with prayer and supplication I strive to be a Godly husband and spiritual leader. The power of God to change the hearts and minds of people never ceases to amaze me.
I too felt resentment towards a woman's role as laid out in the Bible. However, the Holy Spirit opened my eyes after being married and having children that motherhood is not a burden. The curse from the fall to woman says "your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you." This ongoing tension between the sexes reflects our broken world. In the garden Adam and Eve had different roles pre-fall. Only in our modern individualistic culture do we scoff at gender roles and think equality=fairness. If a Christian husband is leading Biblically, it is not a heavy handed "do what I say, slave" mentality. He in turn has to submit to God which means loving sacrificially. While there are cases where men exercise sinful authority over their families, that is not the example we are to follow.
Wow, that poor woman!
Praise God brother. :)
@@lorrainem.swartzentruber3077 good and important point that gender roles are not a product of the fall
"She hated the idea of submitting to a man and coming under male authority."
No, she didn't. Did she ever have a male boss? Did she ever have a male teacher, or professor? Did she ever get pulled over by a male police officer? Did she ever obey a law written, voted on, and signed by male politicians, and enforced by male law enforcement agents?
Women - especially feminists - have no problem submitting to a man, as long as that man is not their husband.
I was literally having this conversation with my son last night. There is great pressure/responsibility to be a man worth following, if someone has to die defending the family who does the responsibility fall on? If the family is destitute who is to blame? When someone was breaking into our car at 1:00am I got the elbow to wake up and deal with it. I didn’t turn to my wife and say ‘you got this’.
Amen
That's some bullshit, sorry that your wife can't take care of herself bit most women can and don't need their husband's to kill the spider or check for noises downstairs.
@@zacharythomas8538 watch your language brother. This is a Christian channel.
So Zachary does turn to his wife and...
"You got this." What a man!
I’ve personally scared the burgler away. But I still submit to my husband. 🙂
This is what hitting the bullseye looks like
This man's ministry is a breath of fresh air.
When I got married earlier this year - the Pastor wondered whether I would want "obey" in the vows to my husband, I said "Yeah, of course" haha they were shocked haha They put it in, I was very happy. I believe God didn't make a mistake when he made the gender roles, and the apostles, inspired by God, knew what they were saying. The advice I give to women is - find yourself a God-fearing husband, someone who is aligned with the word of GOD- this way when you obey them - you know they're leading you in the right direction. This is also why it's so important for fathers and mothers to ensure their daughters marry the right type of man, and their sons marry the right type of woman.
Good for you!
(And I hope that pastor isn’t your pastor; I wouldn’t trust that man to teach the whole counsel of the scriptures.)
I don't need any Christmas presents this year with all these free giveaways 😃💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾
I’m feeling the same way 🤣
Old school vows for our wedding day. My mom almost lost her lunch. She watched too much Oprah in the 90s.
Explain what those are?
Yes please share! Others might benefit from hearing godly wedding vows.
@@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485 I assume OP means the bride's vow in the Anglican "Solemnization of Matrimony" (borrowed by many other denominations):
I N. take thee N. to my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and _to obey,_ till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.
You shall know the truth and the truth shall hurt your feelings. That is a gold mine!
The parable was helpful. I find you give them often and I always appreciate them. Helps bring sharper focus. Thanks for taking the time.
This pointing out of the difference between the command for husband and wife that I've heard Doug make before is really something I found quite epiphanal. Why does it command husband's to love their wives? Because we're not good at it, and it takes conscious effort. Why does it command wives to be submissive? Because they're not good at it. And after being married for about 6 years now, I so very much understand this.
And probably one of the main reasons we miss this simple truth/distinction when reading that section of Scripture is that just as with any other sin, we don't want to admit that we have that problem.
Fantastic. So on point.
Refreshing to hear timeless scriptural truth. This is now an offensive theological position in many churches including mine. Rebellion is everywhere.
This is what happens when feminism gets into the Church. Been married 21 years happily. My wife truly adores me and we have a great marriage. We don’t follow the Biblical rules as we should but at the end of the day if it’s a serious issue she always submits after we have a discussion. It’s hard to be in charge when you have a smart wife and she’s usually right about things. But we love and follow the Lord and I do see myself as the spiritual leader, as she does also.
The fact that you respect her as a smart wife and actually discuss things is probably part of the reason it works. If more patriarchal men were like that patriarchy wouldn’t have such a bad reputation.
What Biblical rules are you referring to?
@@christian1172-z9e that’s how marriage is supposed to work, but being obedient to God means submitting to your husband even if he’s a bad husband.
@@fujikokun it may sometimes mean that. Bad is a vague word. There are times we need to submit to authority figures even when it’s hard. There are other times we should not submit. Hopefully a group of elders would step in if a wife is with a husband who is too bad and rebuke him. She may have to draw boundaries at a certain point.
Love the dig at IVP
The open palm toward the book was a great addition. Nice presentation.
This was a helpful and humorous video. Thank you.
I’m honestly thinking about sharing this with my wife. She is working really hard to make her Job an idle and her family a sacrifice
May God bless your conversation and make it fruitful 🙏🏾
I understand, believe me. Will pray for you, seriously.
Had to put my own foot down over issues at home got zero help from the local church best thing I ever did for my marriage. Just celebrated 22years.
I’m not serious. A message like this would not be hear by anyone who thinks they are justified by the majority. She even has a pastor that supports her and gives her tips on how to argue with me. Needless to say we don’t go to church together.
@@treybarnes5549 that right there is a house divided. There’s much work to be done brother, you need to pray and fast and begin reforming so that she can follow where you pave the way. If you are more faithful to scripture than her pastors you will be the better man that she will hopefully follow
I was informed of a Facebook post, posted by someone I know, who claims Christianity, and believes Doug Wilson is in a cult. Her main reasoning being this topic of submission. I unfriended her. Thanks Doug for submitting to the authority of scripture.
“Submit therefore to one another.” Also a clear passage. There are several hard-hearted assumptions in this one-sided commentary. Some are Abigail’s - and praying for them would be far more helpful. 😬😔
It isn’t one sided.
A video on how to teach men who have been raised by their mothers who were hard hearted and not submissive, on how to actually lead as a man since they did not see their own fathers do it. Or when their fathers tried, they were railroaded into submission. I see this pattern often in my own life and relationships. Men afraid to lead, no idea what to do with the reins in their hands when it comes to relationships. Some are shaped by the world and feminism, but it often starts much younger and in the home where they see how their own father acted. Also of note, there are many wives who are being the "leader" not out of choice but because their husband is either unwilling or still learning how to fill the role. As always, a lovely video. The world needs more strong men, who are brave, unafraid to lead, as bold as Jesus speaking the truth and leading.
I’m noticing many of the comments in this section have leadership backwards. What I mean is they are staring at their wife judging her and wondering how to make her do what they want.
That’s not leading. It’s managing. And nagging. But leading is facing your mission, not your wife.
The man follows Christ. He feeds the poor. He serves the weak . He invited people over. And he invites his wife and children to follow. He picks up his cross and follows Christ. His wife helps him on the particular way he is doing that.
His book “Future Men” is really good
@@meredithlawhorn7044 Ill check that one out, ty for the recommendation
Thanks Pastor Wilson, God bless...
The humor is awesome 😂✝️
So good.
absolutely on point
I want a No Quarter November T shirt… it’ll be a great witness opportunity if someone ask me what it meant. Obedience to God means . Don’t blaspheme him.
I’d order one and wear it to many of my churches functions just to trigger those who are woke amongst us…..
What does No Quarter mean?
@@Zaloomination effectively it means that you won’t allow liars, crooks, thieves, or evil people in your midst that would do you harm. Providing “No Quarter” means prohibiting them around your proverbial campfire, putting them up with room and board, or allowing them a word edgewise in discussion.
@@Zaloomination it is a conflict term... no mercy asked or given.
@@Zaloomination - it's a phrase that's been around in English for a long time. Led Zeppelin even wrote a song with that name!
For a long time I felt resentment towards a woman's role as laid out in the Bible. However, the Holy Spirit opened my eyes after being married and having children that being a wifr and mother is not a burden. The curse from the fall to woman says "your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you." This ongoing tension between the sexes reflects our broken world. In the garden Adam and Eve had different roles pre-fall. Only in our modern individualistic culture do we scoff at gender roles and think equality=fairness. If a Christian husband is leading Biblically, it is not a heavy handed "do what I say, slave" mentality. He in turn has to submit to God which means loving sacrificially. While there are cases where men exercise sinful authority over their families, that is not the example we are to follow.
You didn't clarify but since people are often confused, I'd like to point out that that curse is descriptive and not prescriptive. "You will attempt to usurp your husband's authority and browbeat him, but he will deal harshly with you to put you in your place." The desire spoken of is the same desire sin has for Cain in the following passage, the desire to conquer in a corrupting way, to dominate and destroy. The passage is not saying what women should do, or approving of the way men have a tendency to respond to it (which you can see some examples of in a few bitter comments in the main thread).
Just want to point out that is not the traditional reading or interpretation of that verse. It’s very new and not well proven.
For 2000 year the church translated that verse a certain way and a woman named Susan Poh gave it a new meaning in the 80s. Her friend, Grudem was a translator for the ESV and changed the wording of the text.
I’ll stick with the translation of Calvin and Luther and pretty much every other theologian in history.
But your are right. Prescriptive is not descriptive.
@@christian1172-z9e which is what?
Thank you! I needed this good word
Since there has been so much talk about how we are to defy and/or our governments if they are forcing us to violate God's law or if they are breaking God's law, do Christian wives have the same obligation when it comes to their husbands? I am not trying to endorse feminism, and I agree with the thrust of what is being said here, but I would like some biblical clarity here. Thanks.
U must have not been actually listening to what Doug Wilson was saying in the video, because he makes it clear he isnt talking about abusive husband's or husband's doing evil and wrong that is clearly defined as that in scripture.
Just like Christians are to submit to go governing authorities to the extent of their jurisdiction outlined by God, wives are only to submit to the extent of their husbands jurisdiction as outlined by God. See the story of Abigail and Nabal, and David.
No if your husband is in sin, it needs to be brought before the church, if he breaks the law, like beating you etc, you call the police and your pastor.
Adrien Kones, where in the video does he make it clear he isn’t talking about abuse? Not arguing. It’s just I watched it twice and couldn’t find it. I know he’s against abuse, just didn’t hear it in this video
You do not get a free pass to refuse to obey your husband because he's otherwise in sin. You may only refuse to obey sinful demands -- or flee violence
Just watched a tv show where a teenager vows to maintain an egalitarian relationship... And then referred to it as a dance.
Uh...
I've got two left feet, and even I know that dancing requires the man to lead.
Goodness sakes.....Lots of substance here... Good idea to obey God because He knows how things work best, being the Creator...but also, was wondering if the Sisters in Moscow have been cutting up rough lately?
Jesus forgive me, but if anyone needs to see a practical example of a woman submitting to a jerk, they have only to meet my wife. I'm a lot better than I was when we met 15+ years ago, but I still have a long way to go. Thank God, He provided me with a practical example to learn from!
A great resource is Chris Moles' Men of Peace workshop 💜
We men are fruitful and multiply, and love till death.. Forever
Tell it like it is and let the chips fall where they may.
Some serious wisdom there. 👍🏻
From what I can see, this is where the chips have fallen. Three men on here are saying you can beat your wife. Others are saying women are below men in every way. That’s where the chips are falling.
Fueling the alligator rhythm
🔥🔥🔥
To hear such Biblical truth plainly spoken is music to my ears and balm to my soul. I was beginning to think I was going mad in this crazy feministically led society (and that includes the so called Christian church). My wife left me after 27 years of marriage... I am apparently too impatient and have a short temper. She meanwhile is powering on in her new found church with full support from the pastor and his co pastor wife 🤮🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I am so sorry for your loss.
Dont make that mistake again.
Unfortunately such a common story today
@@michaellautermilch9185 I knoww, so unfortunate that women are departing from adverse situations - like long term relations with men who can't control their tempers.
@@aallen5256 that's not a Biblical qualification for divorce, just like nagging isn't for men. "For better or worse" 🤔
Great vid as always
When the older women are told to teach the younger women to submit to/obey their husbands in Titus, the word "hupotasso" is used. Paul also chooses that word when he is describing how Christians ought to relate to one another in his letter to the Ephesians (chapter 5). That little subheading in our Bibles between 5:21 and 5:22 didn't exist in Paul's original letter. The thought train was meant to continue uninterrupted. All Christians are to submit to one another. We are to esteem others as better than ourselves, putting their needs and preferences above our own. Yes, there are specific roles in marriage just as there are specific roles in the Church (1 Corinthians 12).
Ephesians 5 does not teach mutual submission in marriage. The heading may not have been in Paul's letter as originally written, but the change in context was.
Surely you don't think the idea of mutual submission continues as Paul is talking about children submitting to parents, do you?
And "hypotasso" is a military metaphor. That alone should nip any egalitarian interpretation in the bud.
@@adamwalker2377 The word used in Eph 5 is hupotasso, not to be confused with hypotasso. The word used in 6:1 (children obey your parents) is hupakouo. 3 different words, 3 different meanings.
Submission does not equal obedience and I think that may be where you are getting hung up.
There are times where a parent would like to do something, but the needs of their children require a different action on their part. Therefore, the parent must submit their desire to the child's needs. Do the children boss the parent around and dictate how their days are spent? Heavens, no!
When the baby wakes in the middle of the night with a dirty diaper, does a godly (and exhausted) parent refuse to get up until morning to change them because they are the ones in power and God says they get to call the shots?
Parents are not called to obey children, but they are called to voluntarily choose to submit their will to their child's needs (and sometimes wants) as love and grace warrant. Thus, not provoking their children to wrath, as Paul warns fathers against doing.
@@heathereads9594 and what word is used to describe how Sarah "obeyed" Abraham?
I'll have to check on the difference between hupo and hypo. I always considered them to be interchangeable transliterations.
You're equivocating on a technicality with the word "submit", but your argument is correct as far as it goes. There's still a hierarchy, even if the one at the top of that hierarchy bears responsibility for those beneath him.
The parental/husbandly responsibility to look after the children/wife does not translate that hierarchy into egalitarianism.
@@adamwalker2377 Ephesians 5 *does* teach mutual submission and its in the original Greek. But that doesn't mean the submission is egalitarian. But it is mutual.
@@christian1172-z9e and that's why I consider you a feminist.
Eph 5 only can mean mutual submission, only if you equivocate on the meaning of "submit" and stretch it way outside of it's intended meaning.
Eph 5:21 is the end of a previous thought about Christian brotherhood. It's violence to Paul to atomize Eph 5:22 from the context which completely disagrees with the interpretation you're trying to create.
No honest reader can conclude that Eph 5:22 is an argument about mutual submission in marriage any more that he can conclude that the parts that follow are talking about mutual submission between parents and children.
Again, the parallel with homosexuality is plain.
"Paul couldn't have known about crappy husbands" sounds an awful lot like "Paul couldn't have possibly known about loving, monogamous, committed homosexual relationships".
We either conform to Christian norms, or we do not.
Not a logical analogy.
@@christian1172-z9e you tripped some RUclips algorithm, I guess.
I thought that at first, but only certain comments are being deleted. It seems human. I asked them why they were deleting my comments and they stopped. They’ve deleted my comments in their blog as well. The Wilson world is big into cancel culture even if they speak against it.
@@christian1172-z9e why is it not a logical analogy? Gender is relevant, or it is not.
@@adamwalker2377 I know all analogies break down at a certain point, but I think it's important to point out where that analogy breaks down because many of the men in this comment section seem to think the two are completely analogous. I don't know how to speak clearly without taking a few paragraphs. Sorry!
Here's how I'm understanding your analogy:
Just as Paul knew about crappy husbands and still required wives to submit, in the same way he knew about committed homosexual relationships and expected them to repent and break up.
Let me know if I'm misunderstanding. I agree that God's word doesn't disappear when things get tough. It doesn't cater to our comfort. Amen!
Where I think your analogy breaks down:
1.) Homosexuality is *always* wrong. Breaking up is *always* the answer.
A wife saying no to her husband is not *always* wrong. Submission is not *always* the answer. Sometimes, saying no to a husband is required. Think Saphirra or Abigail.
If you're a reasonable man, you probably think this is obvious and doesn't need to be said. In these comments alone I've been told women should submit to abuse twice. I've seen one lady called a "snowflake" because she's concerned about her abused friend. And go back an listen to minute 6:00 in the video. How would an abused women hear that?
2.) In a homosexual relationship *two* people are sinning. One is not sinning *against* the other, thereby victimizing him.
Matthew 18 tells us how to deal with people who victimize us.
Comparing a victimizing relationship to a "committed, loving" relationship is not equivalent. We are to be just as concerned for the husband's obedience as the wife's.
I know all husbands are sinners and wives are called to submit to their sinful husbands, but it is limited. The prohibition against homosexuality is not limited.
Your second question, does gender matter? Yes, but this isn't about gender. I am called to submit to my husband because of my *role* as wife. One man in these comments rebuked me for not submitting to him. He thought that all women need to submit to all men - that submission is a female virtue.
It is not. Submission is a role. Men and women submit to the elders and civil magistrates. I submit to my *own* husband. Eve was made to be Adam's helpmeet. She was not made to be Cain's helpmeet. Submission is role based.
To me, a closer analogy would by, "Just like Paul knew the Roman government was often wrong, yet told Christians to submit, in the same way he knew Husbands were sinners and told the wives to submit."
I'm not married, but having observed some really shaky marriages, it seems like it'd be easier to obey than train a husband...
Obviously training is never good. Obedience can be difficult depending on the man.
@@christian1172-z9e I'll be honest, I don't know exactly what Pastor Doug means by "training" but if it's in reference to a woman trying to control headship, she'd be better off remaining single. At least, that's how I've understood it from Paul. :)
I was agreeing with you about the training. We train children. Spouses don’t train each other. Total mix up of roles!
Husbands teach their wives the Scripture though. And scripture is for "training in righteousness" among other things
@@horrificpleasantry9474 even as an unmarried woman, I'm to 'train/learn' in Scriptures' righteous. How would you flesh out the difference? :)
I'm a husband in the middle of trying to organize around the house everyday for an hour or so after I get home from work. I just started this week and choose the contents of the kitchen as it's the least organized. I'm going through and setting aside anything we haven't used in years, things that are expired, and things we have duplicates or multiple of FYI. My wife comes out of her office each evening on her breaks (she works from home) and begins to argue with every decision I have made. i.e. She thinks we need 50 years supply of vanilla butter and nut extract that expired 7 years ago and argues with me like this is a hill worth dieing on.
QUESTION #1: How do I inform her that she needs to be obedient to me her husband especially given the fact that I'm trying to help?
QUESTION #2: I know I haven't given a lot of info here but, am I wrong on how I'm doing things by this summary? I'm open to advice.
extracts dont expire.
If your wife doesn't know that it is wrong to rebel against your authority, try your best to teach her right from wrong. You probably should have that talk separately from any ongoing arguments between you, because the goal isn't for you to win an argument. You want her to stop sinning and be godly. I'd suggest leading her in a Bible study on Ephesians 5 to bring the conversation up.
Your goal is not to force her submission, but to teach her that she should willingly choose to submit. As the leader, it is your job to set the right path before her, and encourage her to walk in it.
If she wants to be in charge of the home she needs to do the work of the home. The home is her responsibility and your responsibility as the husband is to make sure her responsibilities get done when she fails at doing her responsibilities. You're doing exactly right. As far as authority, if she's not convinced that she has to SUPPORT every decision you make unless it's a) against God's express command b) illegal c) life threateningly harmful, then all you can do is tell her that ; she should've already been convicted of that as a prereq for getting engaged. Good luck to you, I don't envy you
Find a free copy of William Gouge's 1622 work "treatise on domestical duties." Read through it together. Pay special attention to where he explains that submission is shown in "indifferent things"
If you have a good idea, like cleaning the kitchen, convince her of it through loving compassionate discussion. Through persuasion, long suffering, gentleness, meekness and love unfeigned.
You know, the opposite of how the government is forcing mandates on all of us.
Christ is the light, the life, and truth. Even so, he didn’t force anyone to His way of thinking (speaking of His earthly ministry)
Your wife, for whatever reason sees your cleaning of the kitchen as an act of aggression against her. If you can talk it out with her so she sees your point of view and sees that’s the changes you desire to make in the household are borne out of love, you’ll be alright. If not, you may end up like me. Divorced
Nailed it! 🔨
Why does Ephesians say wives “submit” but children “obey”? Obviously submitting is not the same as obeying or the text would use the same words.
Because hypotassō (submit), literally “station oneself under,” fits perfectly with the idea of the man and woman as one body, with the husband as the head and the woman as the body stationed under that head.
@@matOpera How is that different from children obeying their parents?
@@vanessaloy1049 It isn’t a matter of totality, since wifely submission is to be in all things (Eph 5:24), like children’s obedience (Col 3:20). I suspect it has to do with the difference of relationship and purpose. Children are part of the one family, but husband and wife are themselves to be one. In some sense, maybe “submission” suggests a narrowing hierarchical difference, whereas obedience is unbridgeable, because the children and slaves are to be strictly obedient and as long as they are children or slaves, their will is strictly subordinate, whereas the wives, by being submissive, are aligning themselves into ever closer unity with their husbands, who reciprocally are loving them and seeking to meet their needs, and so the husband-wife duo, in the limit, will share one will in total harmony, just as Christ and the church will one day share one will in eternity.
I’m not totally sure, and you’re definitely asking a good question. The text itself seems to rule out some of the answers I might have reached for initially (submission does not involve practical obedience; submission is less absolute than obedience; etc.).
They are interchangeable most of the time. Submission is putting yourself under the authority of another, which naturally includes obedience. Obedience means you just do what you are told. So the former is a richer word that includes the latter. 1 Peter 3 also says "obey" for the woman, side by side with submit, confirming its meaning when it comes to marriage. Nearly every use of the word submission in the New Testament refers to submission to an authority over you, or being controlled by a more powerful force.
@@matOperaAccording to Ephesians 5:21, every believer should be hupotasso-ing. Husbands, wives, single men, single women. If we take this into context with other passages in Paul's other writings, such as Phillipians 2, we can see this is a theme and take it to its logical conclusion.
BASED.
Yo dog, i just caught you in that other vid on a wicked nonsequitur about Christ's submission to the father somehow implying there is nothing intrinsic/metaphysical about the woman's (non?) subservient place in Biblical theology. So good luck with all this lol.
Nonetheless thanks for all you do.
3:26
I see, amen.
6:23
AMEN.
Here is the real reason most people despise DW.
Wonder why God arranged things this way? It doesn't make much sense to me , He could have made any rule He wanted , why would He choose one that would be responsible for so much suffering. I was born and raised in a strong patriarchy kind of society and I can tell from experience that the abuse of women was beyond words. I strongly believe this is what caused the rise of feminism . Things got better , due to influence from the west and laws protecting women from abuse . My own husband is kind and doesn't play the 'submit card " openly , but I can tell you every major family decision he made against my better judgement and ignoring my wishes failed . Everyone of them ( and he did it repeatedly ), with negative consequences for us .
Your suspicion about the start of feminism is correct. The first wave feminist movement was strongly tied to the temperance movement because so many men were coming home drunk and beating their wives. Ladies wanted the domestic abuse laws changed to protect them, but couldn’t vote. This is part of the reason why the right to vote became such a big deal.
God didn’t set it up this way.
Wanted to add, you might appreciate listening to Todd Bordow or Sam Powell. They are pastors who speak to these issues. They are orthodox Reformed men, but they are not Red Pilled misogynists like the guys in these comments. God loves both his sons and daughters and he cares for the vulnerable.
This is a really excellent overview, and gives deserved rebuke to the liberals who deny the biblical doctrine of male headship. Despite negative expectations though, men should know there are plenty of women out there just waiting for them to take charge. There are women looking for traditional husbands, or waiting for their rather passive husband to become a little more traditional and be a real leader. Don't buy the watered-down modern ministry version of headship either. Men have real authority by their position, and wives place themselves under that authority and obey.
No amount of intellectual indoctrination can make a woman not a woman, for she is feminine by nature, and deeply fulfilled by that role. Having counseled many couples as well, I can't tell you how common it is for a woman raised to be independent, and who even has a bit of an attitude, to say she desires a strong man who will lead her. Then, despite the awkwardness she feels at first, she begins to learn to follow him. She learns to be gentler, to be silent, to obey commands.
Women are waiting for you to start leading, guys. That includes many women who appear "strong" and independent from the outside. Do not doubt it.
Why aren't older women teaching?
Because they dont know either.
What is the clear Biblical teaching about divorce and remarriage?
Divorce only if the spouse commits adultery according to Christ himself. Since those are legitimate grounds for divorce I don’t see how remarriage in that case would be forbidden.
People will disagree on this. Many conservative churches believe there are two reasons, adultery and abandonment. Most think of physical abuse as being a type of abandonment since the husband is supposed to protect the wife and children.
@@christian1172-z9e Ah, but the question wasn't "What do many conservative churches believe" but rather "what is biblical."
Matt 5:32 "but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery." This is repeated several times. (Mark 10, 1 Cor 7, Mat 19, etc.)
Abandonment is divorce. The paperwork may be filed later, but it merely documents an event which has already taken place.
Of course. It doesn’t matter what you believe either. You are interpreting. You are not the Bible.
But God gives us pastors who can study constantly and know the Greek and Hebrew. Most who have extensively studied the scripture believe the scripture allow for divorce for abandonment and adultery. They aren’t making it up. They are getting it from the scriptures. It would take more than a RUclips comment to unpack all they say, so I simply answered the question.
@@CornerTalker the 2 reasons seem to be extreme abuse and sexual immorality, there have been cases in scripture where people broke God's laws but it wasn't bad because it was a life or death scenario, God desires mercy not sacrifice principle, if a wife is getting punched in the head are you just going to tell her to stay until she dies from it? I think not
What are the biblical instructions for Christian women that dated Dr. Jekyll and married Mr. Hyde? Since you haven't mentioned a remedy, I'm inclined to think there isn't one.
I'm sorry, but there is MASSIVE potential for abuse here.
Sheila Gregoire, Diane Langberg
@@christian1172-z9e Can you please link to a specific video or blog that addresses this?
Sure! RUclips won’t let me share a link. But there’s a blog called “Crying for Justice” run by a lady who gives info and resources to those in abusive situations, or who aren’t sure if they are.
Also, Dr. Diane Langberg has a site named after herself. She’s a Christian psychologist who has worked with these issues for decades. She’s very level headed and Christ centered. She has a resource page with lots of helpful articles.
Sam Powell, a Reformed pastor, has a blog called “My Only Comfort”. If you search for gender or marriage you’ll find his site is a gold mine. He talks about the theological misunderstandings that Reformed people sometimes have that make marriage harder than it needs to be.
Hope these are helpful.
There is always potential for abuse. Wilson believes in church discipline, not to mention calling the cops, so he’s not abandoning the woman or her children to suffer.
@@matOpera Not historically - and church discipline is not appropriate for cases of pedophilia and other forms of abuse.
Is it wrong to snip my husband’s beard i his sleep?
If you do not, are you being forced to sin?
Ha ha ha! Very disrespectful. I myself am tempted to trim my husband’s bushy eyebrows in his sleep 😆. There are bigger fish to fry and on balance he is a wonderful man.
@@charlene5960 lol
W O M A N:
● changes her name.
● changes her home.
● leaves her family.
● moves in with you.
● builds a home with you.
● gets pregnant, the pregnancy changes her body.
● she gains weight
● almost gives up in the labour room due to the unbearable pain of child birth..
● even the kids she delivers bear your name.. -------------------
Til the day she dies.. everything she does... cooking, cleaning your house, taking care of your parents, bringing up your children, earning, advising you, ensuring you can be relaxed, maintaining all family relations, everything that benefits you.. sometimes at the cost of her own health, hobbies and beauty.
So who is really doing whom a favour?
Dear men, appreciate the women in your lives always, because it is not easy to be a woman.
Being a woman is priceless.
Now list what men do.
@@greenghost6416 men......NOT A GOD DAMN THING
Yes and amen.
The men do as much for the wife, and the family. Being a man is equally as priceless
What is exergy?
drop the mic
i can't wait til the day i find a job that pays enough that i can afford a wife
It's not what you make but what you save.
@Rubes Ruiz lol think poorer
To afford a wife is one thing. To afford a divorce is another. Our legal system has done much damage to the institution of marriage. Proceed with extreme caution.
Instead of worrying about getting a wife worry about building a good life for yourself.
Don't wait for the right financial moment, as it will never come! Once you find the right godly woman, don't wait to ask her (and ask her fathers permission, following what the Bible teaches in Numbers 30).
I hope you are not suggesting wives should stay with an abusive husband...
5:00..Doug Wilson Quote of the Day:
"....if your Pastor tells you that Jesus turned water 160 gallons of into grape juice...how can you trust anything he says?"
📖...🕎🎎🎊🏺🏺🏺🏺🏺🏺💦🔜🗜🍇𝟙𝟞𝟘 gal {🍼👶🏽🥤👧🏻}🍷‰ ℀☞ 😬🤥😖🤬😠🗯⁉️🚫🎉🍾🥂
Restore the patriarchy
@@1Whipperin Watch us! 💪💪💪
@@1Whipperin you can ignore the government you know
@@1Whipperin can't do that if you're not married
@@1Whipperin you have that freedom. Different people have different thought processes
Holy cow.
Rollo Tomassi on Man Rampant when?
Pretty sure the dude's not Christian
The micro cycle(80 years):
Hard times create strong men
Strong men create good times
Good times create baby boomers
Baby boomers create hard times...
The macro cycle(800-1200 years):
Hard times create patriarchy(where rights are dependent on responsibilities, since men usually take more responsibilities than women this system is described as patriarchy)
Patriarchy creates good times
Good times creates feminism(equal rights independent of responsibilities)
Feminism burns everything down, creating hard times...
To Adam God said, "Because YOU LISTENED TO YOUR WIFE & ate from the tree about which I commanded you not to:
Cursed is the ground because of you, through painful toil you will eat of it, all the days of your life."
-Genesis 3:17
Man's hiearchy of needs:
1 Safety
2 Food & Water
3 Shelter & Sleep
4 Social & Sexual needs
5 Communal & self esteem needs
6 Self Actualization
Women's hiearchy of needs:
1 Equality of Opportunity
2 Equality of Outcome
3 Equality of Authority
4 Equal Authority with no Responsibility
5 All the Authority with no Responsibility for the women, with all the Responsibilities & no Authority for the man or men(especially sexual Responsibilities & Authorities).
A tyrant has 100% authority with 0% responsibility.
A slave has 100% responsibility with 0% authority.
Today marriage, as redefined by the female democratic majority and family court system, makes the man a slave to a tyrant wife, who can divorce him at will, stealing his children, his wealth, and his human dignity.
All womens natural unregulated desire is to have sex with high status bad bad boys and get innocent men to pay for the responsibility consequences(abortions, kids ect.). That's why women, no matter how meritocratic, should never vote.
Women want equal rights authority to make all the decisions in their own life when the alpha f*cks opportunity is there. Its when responsibility slowly comes knocking that women want to shift responsibility back over to innocent men. Women want to sit at the poker table of the socio-sexual market place & make bets & authorize promises in the hundreds of thousands in reproductive costs when they can only actually back up a few pennies worth of responsibility. If women CAN'T take responsibility for a authorization, then they CAN'T have equal authority/rights as the guy who can.
Show me a man who takes by force what he wants from women and I'll show you 100 women who vote to take by force what they want from men. Show me a grave created by patriarchy and Ill show you an entire graveyard created by feminism/communism.
"Any society that negates the role of the father in the voluntarily marriage contract from decent civilization building men and replaces it with a involuntary centralized welfare state will not remain civilized for long."
This is not historically accurate. Reminds me of woke history where you change the facts to make the narrative.
@Solus Christus The first sin of Adam was listening to his wife.
My point was that it’s not historically accurate.
And I don’t hold to the Wayne Grudem new translated ESV. it’s not grammatically accurate.
You are woke. Only
In the right side of things. But same sloppy thinking.
@@christian1172-z9e How am i woke?
With all due respect to your age, wisdom and life experience, might I suggest that the underlying problem here is that we have too many men without chests; feminized, soft, without any idea how to be a strong leader that women can respect. Granted, their lack of masculinity does not justify female rebellion to God's holy law; just that wimpy men, tend to create harridans.
Chicken or the egg?
But that’s just the equal and opposite problem that pastor Wilson brought up: Were there no wimpy husbands in the 1st century? Were all men worthy of respect back then? No. But women were called to obedience to their husbands regardless. Not because all men deserve to be respected but that God deserves to have us follow his commands.
@@quickattackfilms7923 Fair enough; there have always been wimpy men and that does not excuse them from obeying God. However, may I suggest that first century culture tended to create hard working, responsible men, simply because the technology of the time forced men, to be well, men! Look at the "herbivore" men of Japan; men who never grow out of adolescence, living at home, playing games and reading manga and watching anime, supported by their parents. Japan has a devastating birth rate that will lead to cultural suicide because technology allows men to remain children. The Japanese man of today, is not at all the same as his grandfather (and yes, that was a different kind of problem).
@@therealkillerb7643 Yeah, we no doubt have a whole new list of sins to fall into. Technology definitely makes it easy to coast through life. I’ve never heard of “herbivore men” but, from the sounds of it, I’m basically one of them lol. Laziness, stagnation, and gluttony are just more sinful tendencies people like me have to overcome. But that definitely wouldn’t give my wife, if I had one, license to sinfully defy me, and I’m sure you agree.
@@therealkillerb7643 "look at the men who..."
No. This video was a call for women to obey.
*CORRECT USE OF MEME BY PASTOR??* The world must be ending.
Amen and amen! Wives should submit to their husbands just like Christians should submit to the magistrate! Right?
Absolutely. In all things except evil. The more biblical comparison is that she submits to her husband as the Church submits to Christ. But on a basic level it is comparable to submitting to other authorities.
I dont condone telling women who are being beaten to stay with their husbands. That's how you end up with dead wives and children.
Since this is “not quarter Nov,” I think Pastor Wilson didn’t qualify it but it’s understood? It seems to me that Doug Wilson is addressing rebellion on this video. Just a thought.
What in the world has that to do with the topic of this video?
I am basing my response off of a comment he made. I dont know him personally so I'll take y'alls word for it. The comment just rubbed me the wrong way. (He mentioned the word abusive, and since I'm watching this as someone who doesnt follow often, I took it at face value)
I agree with everything in the video. Women should submit to their own husbands. They should remain with their husbands unless their lives or their children's lives are in danger.
Let's go one step higher than brother Wilson. What does Jesus say about divorce? You only seek a divorce because of the HARDNESS of your heart. The only exception Jesus gave for divorce was sexual immorality. That's it, nothing else. If your heart and feelings supercede the heart of Christ and His word, then you might as well stop being a Christian.
@@samanthahoku4346 Go cry some more.
Yes! Wives, obey us! Also, how do we get our slaves to obey us better?
Well, I think step 1 would be to get some slaves. But, as a meaningful replacement you could just go oversees to manage an Apple manufacturing plant.
Pay them better. Biblical slaves received free food, housing, and a daily wage. Better than modern employment.
I need to stop emotionally reacting to these titles. (1) They are obviously rhetorical devices, Clickbait, or both. (2) as such, getting angry when reading them makes me look like an idiot, especially if I know what’s going on. Anyway, let’s see what’s in this video.
You're just TRYING to get kicked off You Tube aren't you?! smiley laughy face
Thank you Doug for perpetuating sexism, racism, hatred, holier than tho attitude, and a narrow view of the world.
Encouraging people to work for achievement as well as the satisfaction of their spouse does not contradict each other. The piece of obedience doesn't signify an absence of character, nor does it push for stagnation in one's social life. I still think that men having some upper hand in decision making is wise, and that women do let that happen in subtle ways and feel in ease with it. However, that wisdom will be missed if you think that what was meant was to preach against women who are economically productive. What's gonna happen when technology solves the issue of time? Will you still say that women cannot juggle both family and social life? Obedience is misunderstood just as much as god or worship is often misunderstood.
How could women who knows the evil intention of her husband submit, in bed even, to his wishes? If he is not evil, then, at least he is as flawed as any other man? How naive do you think it is to let someone call the shots for you? Even if they are familiar to your needs, they would be robbing your opportunity to learn, grow, and correct your flaws. Thus, meeting god better then you were. Obedience is not what you make sound like. Marital life is about the details, man fail at the details, women excel, they carry it well. Yet, when it comes to acting as a couple in the world, how many wives feel the need to look for their husbands? Women have an emotional need for man in hardship, one that requires submission to be met. This is something we could sense, observe, and even measure. Except this, all calls for obedience are calls for degradation.
huh
You need to read more scripture
Op has been brainwashed by feminists info egalitarianism and seems unable to understand Biblical gender roles. You need to go back to basics. The Gospel
@@horrificpleasantry9474 is it blind faith then? No argument or specific objections, just referring back to the whole bible, no verse, nothing.
@@oussamasaci I'm exercising spiritual discernment and warning others about your error. My comment to you was that you need to understand the Gospel before Biblical gender roles make sense to you
Real men don't run their face telling why women must obey them.
Sir, I think every contribution I’ve seen from you on this page has been a strong emotional reaction without an actual argument.
The point is that Elder Women are to teach women. I'm tired of men thinking they have the Authority to teach women how to do these things. Too many Preachers from the pulpit thinking because they have a pupit it their place.
Fair point.
Feminists don't listen to other feminists.
Men are to teach everyone. When woman teach it is to be to other woman (Titus 2). Men have full right to teach on woman’s specific areas, as Paul did in multiple epistles.
@@c.m.880 no they do not. He literally state Elder women to teach younget women on the things of marriage. See that the problem. People are so willing to point at what Women can't teach but you point out a Man can't in this area the Hypocrisy comes out.
@@labradorite8256 if you taking about the church there are no such thing as. I'm just point our a fact
Oh dougie.....that's the only way you can get a woman to stay with you
Husband is mentioned to man male and female, not you. Now the creator just might be it.
The quotes passages are about human males (husbands) and females (wife’s).
How do I know that Christianity is false?
By its followers' obsessive concern over earthly, male sexual dominance.
What you see as obsession is only because you like the rest of the culture are so far off the rails that anything outside of your experience looks abnormal, when you are the outlier
Why is this obsession wrong? Based on what? Your own opinion? Why should anyone care what you think then?
@@waakow Are you admitting that such an obsession exists?
For future reference, you will often step in poo by immediately appealing to the highest "good" by means of greatest power.
@@horrificpleasantry9474 What you see as an obsession (sin) is only because you like the rest of your cult are so far off the rails that anything outside of your tribe looks abnormal, when you are the outlier.
Presupps are right though, perspective changes everything.
@@R01202 You're dodging my question.
I was hoping that you'd provide interesting points to refute feminist and egalitarian arguments, but alas it was the usual strawmen and complaining I've come to expect from men of the faith. Sad
No better argument than the scripture?