Things Teachers Say That Aren't Said in Any Other Profession
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 28 авг 2024
- Subscribe for more awesome videos & don't forget to hit the bell!
► Follow us on Instagram: / bored_teachers
► Follow us on Facebook: / boredteachers
► Follow us on Pinterest: / boredteachers
► Follow us on Twitter: / boredteachers
Yup - when you realize you spent 6 years in college getting your bachelors and masters degrees along with your teaching credential just to say things like, "Who smeared their cream cheese into the carpet?"
Yes! 😂
Oh, and that's probably the least problem you've dealt with! That's a really GOOD day when cream cheese is the worst substance you've encountered.
Yep, went to a Top 10 school for my BA and an Ivy for my MA just so I can sit down for 10 minutes a day, sigh, then say, "Who keeps sticking their used tissues on the divider wall......No, when you take it off, don't hand it to me, put it in the garbage can!" I had a great education at one point....now, if it's not the first 200 sight words, I don't know it
Classrooms with washable hard floors are so much better than carpet! My classroom has wall to wall carpet and they can't get the vomit and urine odor out. It is 20 year old carpet. Ewwwwww
When I retired from teaching, the first thing I had to unlearn was using "we" for most sentences. 30+ years in an elementary school will do that to you!
I really never thought about how many sentences my teachers say that have the word we in them ❤️
Left teaching years ago but I'm still singing the Backwards Alphabet. Hey, that's a skill 'we" don't want to lose.
I'm a permanent Substitute. I float classrooms between 4th - 8th grades. I've said *we* several thousand times.
OMG!!! I have tried to figure out for the past few years when I began speaking plural. Even asked my therapist. Never realized it was from being a teacher. Lol!
Me too
We don't need to use the Royal we any more! 😁
I’m a high school teacher, and I’ve said more of these than I’d like to admit.
I'm sorry
I am totally making assumptions as to which ones you have said to high school students lol
You don't want to know lol
The fact that you said High School mortifies me
So true!! It's 🤪
I had a kindergartener crying, at lunch, because his pets died...
His pets: 3 caterpillars he had shoved in the pocket of his jeans, during morning recess. Truly CAN NOT unsee the handful of mashed mess he pulled out 😵🤮
Haha I've had a 4 year old girl once put woodlice in her school bag and it was all over her school snacks 🤢😅😅 x
"Why are we licking each other's knees "? took me out. Hilarious
I so want to know the backstory!
I feel like I would have to say that to my 7th graders 🤦♀️
Just saw a group of 7th graders today ripping apart a mask & wrapping the strings around their hands
me too🤣🤣
TWIST: She teaches at a high school.
Lol yep I teach grades 10-12! 😂
Lol my dad is the plumbing shop theacher at my technical high school and he says the freshman are better behaved and more mature than the seniors
Twist? I never doubted it. This sounds just like my high schoolers.
What...😮...😂🤣
🤣😂🤣
I asked my kids' teacher how she does what she does all day. She laughed and said, "At the end of the day, I get to go home!" Over the years, she's taught all 5 of my kids. She's still my favorite!
Oh we had a teacher that stretched through the kids. They were charmed with my oldest, had very high expectations for my second who likes to do things like staple herself… She retired after my third. I try real hard not to believe that was personal but since the boy tripped 12 times on the same backpack on the way up to her desk… I’m not holding my breath. At the end of the year, she told me she thought my son was the reincarnation of Benny Hill… She did not look amused when she said it.
Amen!! Yesterday, two second graders, real conversation… “One day, we’re going to be drinking buddies!” Ummm… Hello, parents! Let’s set the bar a little higher! (Pun intended) 🤓
True friends 🤣 _ Edit my Sister & I started with chocolate milk 🥛and now, it's wine 🍷 for her and beer 🍺 for me.
That is funny though
How can they set the bar higher than they apply to their own lives??
Bar is high enough. They can’t reach it which is why they said one day! 😂😂
“We don’t throw teeth at our friends! Idc if you’re mad at him!”. 👈🏻👈🏻 True Tales of a 4th Grade Teacher.
No, we wait until we're in the old folks home for that.
Trust me, I've taught school and worked in an assistant living facility and that really does happen there. These elders are always losing their false teeth, as well as act like kids.
Lol YESTERDAY a one of my students showed me a tooth in her hand. It wasn't hers. She had found it during break. She genuinely thought she'd struck gold and was taking it home for the tooth fairy. I still don't know which child at school that tooth belonged to.
My son came home from kindergarten one day, and when I asked him what happened at school he told me they were going over the rules: no jumping on the furniture, no running in class, no cutting hair with paper-cutting scissors....
Did he come home with an unfinished haircut?
@@shepardren8006 He didn't - but I suspect one of his classmates did :)
I'm worried for the mental health of all these teachers now...and yet somehow I don't think this is the most stressful part of their job.
My mom is a daycare teacher (works with literal babies) and I work at a DOGGY daycare. The fact I can tell her about picking up poop and vomit and she's just like "yeah, same" is just the funniest thing.
"What do you have in your mouth???" Is something we both ask daily 🤣
I stopped at the store on the way home from work one day, and checked my pockets for a few dollars I had put in there earlier in the day. Instead of cash, I pulled out a lil piece of poop surrounded by a big wad of dog hair. The look on the cashier's face was priceless! 😆
Let's play "Babies or Critters"!
"What are you eating?Don't eat that!WHY are you eating that??Drop it!" (all in one breath)
"I'll be right back, I've got to grab that poop before Princess rolls in it."
"Would you PLEASE stop running around me in circles, you're making me dizzy"
"Divot, please don't stand on Bruiser's head."
"No Biting!"
"What do you have stuck in your hair this time?"
"Did anyone check you for fleas today?"
"Who's vomit is this, and why is it bright blue?"
"Don't pee on Phydeaux's head!"
"How did you get that door open?"
"Please don't eat your jacket, I don't want to have to explain that to your mom."
"That was MY lunch!"
"Why are you scooting your butt across the floor? Let me look..."
"What in the actual he...?"
"Why are you licking Molly's ears? Move so that I can smell them..."
"How did you get that out/down/over/under/away?"
And my personal fav- "Who's blood is this?!" 😆
My daughter was a daycare teacher for babies for five years. She no longer does that. I told her that I gave her do much credit be for being able to handle that as long as she did. Some of the stories she would tell me. OMG!
As a PreK educator....I deal with half of this nonsense....I asked if we were working at a school or a zoo LAST WEEK!
I said it today, but instead of zoo i said circus. Ayayaayy 🤦🏻♀️🤣to 5th graders!
One time during preschool jungle theme week a child was hitting his friend with a stuffed monkey and I took it away and out of my mouth came “we do not hit our friends with monkeys. Ever. I don’t care what they did to us.” 😂 I suppose that’s a life lesson no matter what age we are 😂🙈
I worked at a school that had a giant stuffed equine in the hallway and the words “We do not slap ponies in the face!” came out of my mouth one day during a transition… 🙃
😂🤣😂
@@theotherleonaygirl 😂
Omg! That's the funniest thing ever!!
@@theotherleonaygirl I. AM. CRYING. WITH. LAUGHTER… and cannot stop… “We do not slap ponies in the face!” 😂😂😂
I once had a student put a binder ring on his nose because he wanted a nose ring. Well that and his friend said it would work. He was surprised it hurt.
One of my favorite repeats is: “The bathroom is the grossest choice for a playground. Every surface is covered in urine. Please just get in and out…”
Yes! I said that 8 times yesterday. Never, not even as a child did I walk in a bathroom and say " I bet I could climb up on top of that." But I could forget the playground at recess and just take my kids to play in the nasty bathroom and they would be happy as larks.
Yep, have to say this every day of the school week. One year a student (not one of mine) decided to climb in the sink and jump. Eventually the sink fell.
My high school kids did the whole is water wet thing a couple years ago. Went on for like 2 weeks.
Were they Freshmen?
OMG, as a nurse, I was wondering, but this sounds so true! God bless teachers. Nurses have our own issues.
A presentation is only good if the presenter is good, and this teacher is a A+
"We do NOT remove our shoes and socks and chew on our toenails in class!" (This was in a high school class!)
Every single one has happened; this year!! At this point I am already DONE and it’s just October 🤪
So glad to hear that I'm not ALONE with being DONE!!!
Oh gosh I feel the same way. It's like the kids are in Kindergarten again and have to be reminded second by second how to behave in the classroom - and this is 5th grade!
Kindergarteners, me to them:
"We do not lick our friends tongues!!" Yes even in the age of masks and social distancing! Don't ask me how.
*faints*
Me to 5 year olds: Why'd you have beads in your mouth? You'll choke in it.
Oh, you poop in your pants on purpose because it's fun? Do you do that at home too?
No you don't get the glitters. Remember what happened last time when you opened the whole jar at once?
What do you mean: you painted a dinosaur on your friends clothes? You wear an apron for a reason.
No, we don't kick eachother in the face.
Take that plastic back of your head!
Wow
I was born at night...but it wasn't LAST night, c'mon!
My favorite thing I’ve said to 2nd graders: “why are you coloring your teeth with one of our markers?”
THIS hits home. I feel like the statement, “Markers are for colouring on PAPER, not --” has come out of my mouth with SO many endings… skin, our friends, the white board, the shelves, our faces, our fingernails, our hair… the list goes ON and ON!
Im surprised that as an art teacher i havent gotten this one yet
As a Mom and Grandma, I've said this more times than I care to admit. 🙄🤣
Because the crayon didn't work. LOL
@@bethanykennedy812 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Last year after came back after to the classroom we had plexiglass shields on the desks. During the first week back I turned around a one point and had to ask a student to please stop licking the plexiglass.
My all time, actually-had-to-say moment, was "We do not lick the walls" followed within 30 seconds by "And we never lick the bottoms of our shoes!!"
😳😬🤭🤢🤮‼️
lol sounds like something the two year old teachers have to say at the daycare I work at lol 😂🤢
Omg, even though I have encountered children who did this, somehow reading the words made me repulsed all over again! Damn disgusting!!! 👎
@@Alexandra-bp6cu as a twos teacher at a daycare I can testify that this is true
Every year when I had recess duty: “We don’t eat the wild onions on the playground!”
Oh that's safer than mushrooms. Double duty on playground last spring. I thought the quiet girls standing by a shade tree were OK until I hear " Taj... is eating Mushrooms" Kindergartener ate mushrooms growing on the side of the tree. Didn't leave enough to ID it for the substitute nurse who just gave parents the poison control phone number. "Don't eat things off the tree trunks" wasn't one of my playground directions.
@@kathleenkirchoff9223 …WOW! 😳😂
@@kathleenkirchoff9223 no, not safer than mushrooms. Death camas looks exactly like wild onions. Will kill quickly.
This is why a friend chose to teach in a juvenile detention center, instead of my high school. He said he didn’t have to deal with these behaviors in the center.
What? but don't crazier things happen there? Because he's basically working with young inmates, so how is teaching in juvie better than teaching at a regular school? Because don't most people just want to teach at a regular school?
@@laurent.9968 because....there's more authority in place. Think about it. Their movements are highly regimented and any foolishness is going to be dealt with from a punitive standpoint versus school that tends to coddle more.
Really ??!😉🙄😂😂
Interesting my father works at one of the juvenile halls he actually likes working with the young men there.... I would assume it be easier to work with kids there because in a regular setting it can be a mess... I remember when I was in 6th grade one of the kids would disrespect our teacher bad and I think because they were the same height(the kid was huge) even then I knew I wouldn't want to work with kids... Because I saw first hand how bad they could be
I was a member of the school executive and we were invited to the school inside a juvenile justice detention centre in Sydney, Australia to see how it operated. The principal showed us around. There was 1 teacher per 10 students. Each teacher wore head sets so they could communicate with the principal or security at any time. There was a panic button on the wall for emergencies in each class room. We had lunch there catered by six students undertaking a vocational cookery class. Knives were counted out and back in again. A teacher from a technical college came in to teach them. There were also two teachers aides in the room. Students had access to computers but not the internet.
😂The best part about this is how NOT surprised any teachers are, by any of these statements!
Yes, we’ve all been there 😂
True dat.
Exactly!
You just crack me up. Being a retired teacher I feel your pain. Keep them coming girl. You are too funny.
"If one more person farts in here you're getting detention."
😆🤣🥴‼️
I had to discourage a 6th grader from asking the rest of the class if they're annoying.... That's a setup to get your feelings hurt friend
I have these conversations with kids in High School, now let that sit in for a min.
Wow
From my class today: " why are you throwing a football near my laptop!!!??? What in the...where did you even get that football? It's INDOOR recess. Please put that football away." Also, a kid apparently put his finger in a pencil sharpener on the bus.
Why is there a pencil sharpener on the bus?
And yes, kids don't yet have fully cooked brains 🤷♀️
'Why' was the first question I learned to stop asking as a teacher. Sometimes, there isn't an answer. Just save your breath because rationality and common sense left that chat a long time ago.
“Untie your ankles, and sit down!”
I said that & the kid sits on the floor! Which I had to say - You sit in a chair not on the floor!
Over the years, I’ve said, “We don’t put ______________ up our nose!” The blank changes every year!
Ooh! I bet "pencils" was early on that list.
"Vanna, do we have 'pencils'?"
@@heatherm2140 😂😂😂
The 5-year-old singing me his favorite song. Baby Shark? Oh, heck no. Murder on My Mind.
I can literally see this being said in any grade pre-12th😂😂
I can see some of these being said in 12th grade
I have actually had to say...
"Only food goes in your mouth. We do not eat staples."
Yes, we had a 5th grader eat Staples a few weeks ago. 😡
Then they can retort what about drinks 😖
I had 5th grader eating his binder..
Sadly, all these things probably happened in the same day. 😆
Same hour most likely 😂
Simultaneously😂😂😂😂
😂. Sadly Doris is probably right!
The nose piercing this happened to me!!! Then the student said don't worry miss, I used hand sanitizer!!! 🤦♀️
I live in fear waiting for the first student that asks to use the bathroom. It is like yawning, very contagious.
I'm mean. I set a timer and as many minutes as they are gone they pay back at recess. So if they choose to go, they can but it is about being responsible. Now kids only go when really necessary and most seem to go before school and during recess. Notice it is about student choice. Yes all students can choose to go to the toilet anytime. However to be responsible they must work back the time. I've had no parent complaints. I've used this policy 1st grade to 12th grade.
Ever wonder why your whole class cracks up shortly after one kid goes to the washroom?
Son used to do back flips in the hallway 🤪 such that the kids could see but the teachers wouldn't see him.
"Why do you have a stick? You can't bring that stick into the classroom!" 7th grader
I just love your videos and I LOVE YOU!!! 💕😘
Of course I am not a teacher (pediatric occupational therapist) or a parent, but I hàve had some of these zingers too, along with getting bit, spat on, yelled at and just repulsed.
I SALUTE YOU!!! YOU ARE THE BEST!💕!💕!💕
STAY SAFE! 👍
I love puns. Whenever my students misbehave, I always devise some 100% appropriate type of dad joke pun based on their misbehavior. My students usually hate when I do that, so I say "Don't like the bad dad jokes? Don't misbehave! Get it?" Sometimes they do get it; sometimes they don't.
Brilliant and devious.... I love it! 🤣🤣🤣
@@heatherm2140 Thank you!
I do the same thing. A form of "dressing down"
I saw two fourth graders passing what I thought was a note during a test. I told him to give me what he had in his hand. It was bacon. A handful of bacon.
I hope you gave it back.
Just last week to one of my 6th graders…as I’m on the phone with the Registrar…”why are you oinking?! Please stop oinking!” lol I bumped into the Registrar later that day and she thought it was the FUNNIEST thing 😩😂
Me to my high schoolers. Had to stop a couple senior boys not long ago from spraying each other with the disinfectant bottle they'd swiped.
Elementary school children were definitely easier to teach than middle schoolers.
I retired from being a police officer in a large city - --and now teach 6-8th graders. That was the best training I could have ever had to be a middle school teacher.
Working at a daycare, I say these things all day every day. Funny one is saying "We do not sit on our friends faces"
Absolutely every teacher has said, “we don’t fart in anyone’s face in this classroom!” Truth!
This sounds like my class...
And I teach 7th grade
I left teaching after 8 years but watching videos like this make me laugh so hard. Almost makes me want to go back to teaching just for the funny material. Almost. Don't hold your breath or anything.
Halloween 2019: one of my ASD high school students came dressed as the cutest 6’2” penguin EVER.
Around lunchtime, for no apparent reason, he ran to the other side of the room and stuck his beak in the paper shredder.
I’ve never seen a para move faster. We still had to send a note home about his modified costume.
What's a para?
@@minagica Sorry. Paraprofessional
@@llamasugar5478 thank you! It just learned something new ^_^
Paraprofessionals are modern day Teacher Assistants who work full time with main Teacher.
Here in Ontario they are called EAs, Educational Assistants. They are assigned on a “student-need” basis. So sometimes they shadow a child all day, or sometimes just during certain classes, helping several students around the school at different times (depending on each eligible child’s needs). Think: grade 4 student still non-verbal, still not completely toilet trained, prone to wandering off. They may repeat instructions, redirect the student to the task at hand, or do something COMPLETELY different with them, because they are still struggling to hold a pencil, but the rest of the class is writing postcards to veterans. An under appreciated VITAL job in classrooms today!!
I swear every time I thought shit couldn't get weirder and crazier. I was so wrong. I didn't know it was this tough out here for teachers..
OMG, I love you. I shouldn't laugh, but you make my day worth it. I'm the director of a dietary department at a hospital, so I can relate to "I rather hold my breath and pass out because it's better than dealing with this..." 🤪
I’ve taught every grade K-7 and I will testify that grade level matters not… the things some kids do 🤦🏼♀️
In my eighth-grade ELA class a student took off their shoes, rubbed their feet on somebody else's legs and yelled "dog attack"! ... It's a week before Christmas vacation and I just can't wait
I had 2nd grade boys biting each other. I felt like I was working with toddlers. 😵💫
As a elementary librarian, I’ve seen all kinds of nasty stuff come back on library books. 🤢
I had a student to tell me that one of his classmates pass gas in the trash can and everyone started to smell it and another student sprayed Lysol and made it worse. Lol 🤣 I was like who does this
I am a retired teacher and you bring me so much joy. LOL
"We wear PANTS in this class. Put on your pants!"
Looking serious but cracking up on the inside seems to happen 50% of my day.
Love this. I like to write these things down so I can read them and laugh later. One of my favorites: "Henry, get out of the recycling bin."
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣….oh the joys of teaching! Never ever a dull moment. These things really happen guys 🤨!
I had to tell a student to stop coloring his teeth with a green marker! AND….This actually came out of my mouth….Please unstaple the roach from the carpet! No! You may not use my staple biter!!!🤦🏻♀️
She is so good I press thumbs up even before I watch!
i wish i had you as a teacher for every grade!
Well, as a childless person that is not a teacher, that was terrifying. Funny, but terrifying.
Actual event in my 7th grade classroom:
Kid: Miss, do you have a can opener?
Me: ... Why?
Kid: I need to open my corn. *Pulls a whole can of corn out of his desk*
“Please stop licking my window!” I said this when I taught third grade!”
I said this to a high school student.
🤣🤣🤣
I had to say that to a middle schooler
Yesterday I said to my Pre-K class if you see my hand go into the air it is because I am holding up an imaginary sign that says, "please put your mask on", because I can't say it aloud anymore. I had said "mask on" about 10 times to a child who was using his face shield as a hat & chewing on the ear pieces.
Also, this week I said, "please do not put your fingers into your friend's eyes".
My daughter (has her Masters degree in epidemics & health issues) works diligently to inform and persuade others to follow CDC guidelines during this pandemic. Her grade school daughter is constantly hearing her mom say “Your mask is not a chin warmer!”.
Definitely a phrase shared between teachers worldwide. I‘ve now offered to record it for my mum, so she can just play it in regular intervals. 😂
Teachers do have it Hard 😂😂
One of my favorites: to a child galloping around the classroom…”if you ‘moo’ one more time I’m calling your mother”!
The 'why are you doing that to him/ her and why are you letting him/ her do that to you' although its more often boys i don't know if it's genetic or social but boys do tend to bond over gross things.
We don't microwave ice cream its supposed to be cold..... things I never thought I would say.....
But I love it microwaved. Seriously I do. Lol
🤣🤣🤣 My students dissect dead body parts, and I still don't have the level of grossness in this video.
“We don’t put bugs in our pants” lmao
I. Can't. Stop. Laughing!
Thank you for the laughs. I used to be a Para for a Special Needs classroom in Middle School... most times my "kids" were great examples of good examples. They mostly were respectful, kind and loving. Except when they wanted to rip the clothes off my body, or bite me or smack me in the face. Okay only a few, most were kind and amazing kids. My issue is when I got scratched or had clothes ripped off of me... administration NEVER did anything. But, I loved my kids anyway.
Crazy thing is I’ve said half of these!!! I started a journal. I think we can write comedy books 😆
I absolutely love your videos!!!😂
Lol i saw a kid eating takis today at 8am 😂😂
I'm coughing from laughing so hard. Thank you for your amazing content!
"Don't pick at that scab on your... And, no! Don't eat it!
😳🤭🥴🤢‼️
I teach Pre-K and I thought I've heard/seen it all but some of what she said really takes the cake lol 😂😂😂
Love your videos! You nail it every time!
LMAO-- I was the kid that told my teacher a pearl accidentally fell into my ear and got stuck 😂😂😂
My then four yo son blamed his then three yo brother for sticking a popcorn kernel up his nose. Uh, no.
To be honest, doctors sometimes have some of these situations too.
I recognized a many of them from my conversations with doctors.
Doctors deal with these issues with people of all ages and similar issues to boot. Even doctors treating adults see this stuff occurs.
This cracks me up! I was an Instructional Aid (fancy way of saying teacher’s assistant) in a special needs classroom where 8 out of 10 of our kids spoke Spanish more fluently than English… I learned a lot of Spanish in those 4 years… but none of it really transferable for adult conversations. If I find myself having to tell an adult to wash their hands, or no hitting, I’m just walking away! 😂😂😂
A phrase I had to learn 20+ years ago and still sticks with me.. "No escribe en el piso". Ha ha
@@mollyferriter5640 or the walls… or your friend’s face… 😂😂😂 Kids, gotta love ‘em! Because we sure don’t do these jobs (teaching/IA) for the pay! 😀
Things said in a Foods Classroom…”Who thought it would be a good idea to put a dirty wet towel in the clean towel basket?…When the dirty basket is right nearby?” “How come you’re out of dish-soap already? How much are you using?” As opposed to “You need to use soap _and_ hot water to clean those dishes…?” “You can’t clean the counter tops/stove tops with a dry cloth. You need to have water and soap on the cloth or you are just trying to sand the dirt off.” “Please don’t throw food outside the window. We don’t want to feed the ants.” “Who swept the floor and thought you should leave the sweepings in the microwave?” Said in any class… “Why is your mother phoning you in class? Doesn’t she know what times classes are in session?” “The word “cocky” does not mean what you think it means.” Said in Career and Personal Planning (CAPP) 11/12 class… “Are you writing the assignment in crayon?” (It was a _wax_ crayon!)
Love, love this 🤣
The takis and pickles for breakfast killed me 🤣
🤣🤣 you are so good!! On point!
So funny! You have another subscriber! It's crazy how much of this is real!
Once in college we had a whole class dedicated to debating whether or not a hotdog was a sandwich 😂
Like its fun to kill time on dumb topics the same way it was is water wet or does water make things wet 😂
I once had to tell students to "put the lotion in the basket"
You are my absolute favorite on this channel.
“What possessed you to sniff the oxi clean? No you cannot sniff the meat tenderizer.”
Home Ec teacher 👉🏻stain cleaning activity
Hmm so an Australian teacher here- not so different to here to be honest. Love your vids- they bring a little sanity to my working life lol.
I could only laugh because I have had to say so many things like this. I had to laugh at “I was born at night, but not last night.” I just told some of mine the other day that I honestly think that they think I was born yesterday.