A close friend would be one to whom, there's a definite bond and understanding. Someone who would definitely drop what they're doing to see you in the hospital, for example.
No close friends here. Gilbert, a guy I've worked very well with for 8 years, died of a stroke last Monday. When working with him, it wasn't work. Damn good bloke.
A lot of people are friendly but are really acquaintances. A few years ago I heard from someone that they have about 5 friends. Didn't understand at first but later I found that many of those I thought were my friends were fake. Friends should have a similar maturity level (rather than age). Similar level of responsibility. Must respect each other's boundaries. Must be happy for the achievements of others.
It's all in good fun, but I'm at the age where the people who were "real friends" 15-20 years ago are now either people with too much to lose if I involved them with something like that, and got caught; or we have out reasons not to ber friends anymore. I think I may also not be the friend my friends would like people to make inferences about them from.
I think a real friend is actually one who would confront you about why you are moving a body, or turn you into the police. It would show that they care about you enough that they are grieved you are doing something wrong (presuming here that the body resulted from your actions). True friends want your best, and that does not include helping you cary out something evil.
The rise of cloud, iPhone, and social media directly correlates to a decline in my friendships. I love my friends from afar. But generally find it difficult to be in their physical presence.
In the 1970s the average american had 7 friends and nobody had 0. Today the average american has 3 friends and 16% have 0. I wonder if the internet dying to deep fakes will rejuvinate IRL relationships.
@@baltulielkungsgunarsmiezis9714 there is also the thing that people nowadays have friends and "friends". How many of your facebook "friends" are what you would really consider friends? And how many would be close friends?
@@Likexner The path to 1984 leads from the right not the left. Woke just means you understand others have been oppressed. But I bet you want to oppress those who are different then you and see any attempts to stop that as authoritarian.
A close friend is one of those people that comes over whenever they want, raids your fridge without asking, hangs around like part of the furniture, and you don’t mind. You are that close you might as well be related. What we used to call “mates”. Unfortunately all mine are long gone.
Lindy, I got into your lovely content when I was a boy of 11 for the history and thought that was the thing that kept me watching. Now as a boy of 20 I appreciate just listening to someone who approaches life with such an open mind and is unashamedly up for any topic or activity which peaks his interest, I think more people should look at life this way ❤
Wouldn't it be quite a situation if you had ended up marrying your close female friend? Person: "So, how did you two meet?" You: "Well, I was 3 years old and she was 2... I don't know if it was love at first sight because the hippocampus stores long-term memories when you are 4-5 years old." I dunno, in my mind this sounds like the nerdy trolling Lindy would say :)
I've a strong memory, its quite shocking to me my wife can remember precious little before the age of 6, whereas the longer I spend thinking about it the more I remember from very young. Originally it was 3.5 but that's simply when I was temporally aware and properly can time allocate my memories reasonably. I'm fairly sure I'm memory complete at least to a few months old, maybe earlier. However, I think a language thinker may remember but simply not comprehend before they can speak, whereas i believe memories are collections of emotions assigned values. I can remember being at a party on my mums chest and the sounds made my vision wobble-which is extremely young. It is tricky because it takes the couple hours it was to 'play' it back, and i was yet to learn to index memories properly. Either i'm some kind of savant, i suppose its possible as my dad is autistic and mum dark triad, but my feeling is that it's simply the skill of remembering that holds you back. I can remember so many days of nursery age 3 that I have to assume it was all of them, every saturday like it was yesterday, every minute of every unpleasant thing that's ever happened to me. But when you have a quarter of a million hours of disordered content I understand why most can't find anything. Even now i'm flashed with years of random events i've not thought about since that bare resemblance to the topic, my emotional state and physical status. My point being, if he's 3 he probably reasonably has memories of said event. If you can't, most of your early memories are probably involving your mouth and having a child will likely bring them back for me. It's only seeing that I revised my memory estimates as memories i attributed to older were much younger.
@@mandowarrior123 I swear to god, when I saw the long memoir you typed under my comment, I instantly went "Yep... autistic." Don't get me wrong, I am the embodiment of ADHD, I am chugging (tonic) dopamine agonist drugs all day, and I know the challenges one can face, I come in peace my misunderstood friend. I also know that you most probably used this opportunity to reflect on your own by writing these down, rather than actually intending to share them with a complete stranger. I don't know much about the "dark triad" but I strongly believe my father is also a narcissist and probably a sociopath, to the point where I asked him to get professional help so that our relationship can survive. I am glad I have none of his traits. I am drowning in empathy and cute kittens and puppies can make my day, no matter what, yknow? My first childhood memory is of my overly-dramatic mom making noises like she found a dead animal under her pillow... I almost shat myself btw. Petrified. She turned to me and said "Today is your birthday! I forgot!". That was my 4th birthday. Thanks mom, for kickstarting my hippocampus. You freak.
@@mandowarrior123 There's also the issue of how memory is stored to consider: Human memory storage is very lossy, and works largely based on connections Between memories. Every time you remember something, your brain is reconstructing a lot of the details from associated other memories (prioritising the more recent because they're the ones that exist)... and it's not perfect, so errors build up over time... among a number of other issues. The more often you think about/remember something, the stronger your memory of that thing will be... but the more errors will have accumulated as your brain stores the most recent reconstruction of the memory rather than the original every time you do.
I'm so glad you clarified you were camping with your family, I was just about to congratulate you both for knowing how to put up a tent at ages 2 and 3!
I realize now that all my close friends are disagreeable and argumentative. The fact that i enjoy their company and conversation would probably point to me being disagreeable and argumentative as well.
I think I have an idea about who he’s referring to at the end. But I agree. Disavowing people for pretty commonly held beliefs to yours is a little too much if those beliefs don’t particularly harm anyone in any real way
i've got an idea too and might have unsubscribed that person because i don't want to support this behaviour. stay friends, have fun together, don't care about differences.
I think I also know who Lindy is talking about. I personally believe that, for example, conflating LGBT people with groomers and p***philes does in fact harm people in a very real way and I can't fault anyone for not wanting to associate with a person holding such views. No one is entitled to anyone's friendship after all. (censored for youtube)
I figured that's what he was talking about as well. We as a society should be working to accept others, not thinking up reasons to hate on them. If someone is kind and respectful to me, I'll be kind and respectful to them, even if I disagree with their views.
@@Sepultra012 That's all well and good until your friend goes off the handle about a movie you like, yells about "woke garbage", and then you realise that you either have to put up with it or just avoid certain topics to keep the peace. Even ignoring his politics, it just wouldn't be a fun conversation. If that alt channel is meant to represent his personal views, his views are embarrassing.
@@Br-Al-De I haven't seen his second channel, but I also strongly disagree with "Woke" garbage. I don't think there are any (Or, very few) genuinely good "Woke" films, almost all are terrible, many are offensive and exclusionary. But that's not the point. The point is, people's personal views are their own. As long as shad confines his personal views to his channel, that's fine, he's not forcing them on anyone, you can just not watch the channel if you dont like it. Starting arguments and yelling to you about your favourite movie is a different, that's obnoxious behaviour, but has shad done that? I mean, other than a youtube channel where he discusses his views, has he done anything to inconvenience anyone? As far as I am aware, he hasn't.
@@Sepultra012 I think its fine to not want to associate profesionally with someone who makes alt-right ragebait content. Its a shame the collab will never be published, but thats because of the other collaborators in it for me. Personal opinions are one thing, but a youtube colab is a business move to combine both creator's brands. Its a business decison as well as a personal distancing. Its not about still being friends with someone even when they vote a different way, or believes social progress is best done by wealth distribution rather than enabling sucess, its about distancing yourself and your brand from someone who makes hateful videos. Its also about the degree of difference. And as for his personal opinions are his own. True, until your business is making videos about said views. Sure I can just not watch and I'm fine. But again, that doesnt oblige me to ignore them if I were to combine our brands in a colab video. I'd also say the videos of him railing against woke media is obnoxious. Videos raging about changing the ethnicity/sexuality of a character that are longer than the episode counts as obnoxious to me. Inconvenienced anyone? No, they just unsubscribe, which theyre doing in their thousands.
Broadly speaking, the "closeness" of friends is more to do with how comfortable you are losing some level of politeness or reservation around them than any level of physical proximity or frequency of meeting. Obviously you don't need to be crude or ill-mannered to them (or any more crude or ill-mannered than you might already be, not judging) for it to count, just that their presence is almost an act of trust, and that any outsider joining in with you might feel a bit left out of in terms of context to inside jokes or events that you and these "close" friends have gone through together. Seems a bit exclusive and cliquey at first, but I tend to find persistent familiarity tends to help give opportunities for these social threads to be untangled by the sufficiently determined.
I recognise that situation Lloyd describes at the end of the video, I remember that I was really confused when it happend, it left a bit of a bitter taste im my mouth.
@@DerPinguim Well I really don't want to bring the drama up. But basically couple of years ago RUclipsrs from community of the sword met up in Britain had a fun day and filmed some content. After that day one of them posted a photo of them together and under that photo was quite a bit of really negative comments about one person in said company. And in reaction to this comments person who posted the photo basically disowned the person that was criticised and distanced themselves to avoid any more angry coments. That's basically it. I do apologise for being unclear but as I said I want to avoid drama
Whilst I think its good to have a personal relationship with people with other views than your own, the youtuber Lloyds talking about has said some frankly awful things and is falling down the alt right grifttube ragebait pop-media review spiral, theres a whole subreddit dedicated to documenting it. His channel is tanking in subs because people down want to listen or associate with those opinions and style of content. I think its fine to distance yourself professionally from that.
Pretty clear to everyone who has been keeping up with what's been up who and what and who you are talking about, it's really a shame that it ended up going the way that it did as I feel sure we all would have loved to see all the events held. Either way I always love your videos and hope you are well, cheers.
Care to drop a hint or point in a direction for those of us that haven't been keeping up? I'm an appreciator of Lindybeige's content, but unfortunately don't have the hours in the day to call myself a devoted fan.
@@paulk5670 all I can say since he didn't want to be more specific himself and I'm going to respect his wishes to do so is it involves a group of RUclipsrs and some drama. If you like this gentleman's channel you probably follow some other channels that already have the information available but I'm going to respect Lindy's wishes to not put it on blast.
@@paulk5670 some others already dropped the names. basically the person posting the image has a certain political view and a rather political community. the other person has an opposing political view. as you probably know, in the internet that is a major offence. so the mob gathered and the person posting the image gave in rather willingly and joined that mob instead of pleading for getting along with each other like lindy does.
@@BayWa4eva "Certain political views" is a very charitable way to put it. Shame that those political views happen to be about spewing hate and bigotry towards certain groups of people. How are you supposed to "get along" with such a person if they themself are not willing to compromise?
@@UngodlyFreakthe same way I can be friends with an unironic communist. We disagree on very basic things but i cannot talk frankly about taboo or politically incorrect things with anyone else.
Oh wow. I haven't followed either of those two for a long time (in the former's case, because the content was too dry and not in a period I was interested in, in the latter's case because it was too sensationalistic and poorly-researched-and later because I found out how much of a bigot he is), so I had no idea this had gone down. If that's what Lloyd is talking about here, it's very disappointing (if not exactly surprising) to see him try to downplay Brooks' bigotry as "some time passed said something that was in some way wrong". No, that's not it at all. It's an ongoing and repetitive sharing of hateful drivel and of platforming people whose entire goal is to spread hate.
@@JimCullenjudging from the way you talk you sound actually insufferable. Disowning a friend who had your back because they believe something controversial means you suck. I find communist sympathy to be moronic on the verge of lunacy but it won’t prevent me from keeping one of my oldest friends around, loyalty begets loyalty.
A close friend, to me, is someone who I can not see for an extended period of time, but there’s still a mutual understanding that you’re still close, and when you see them again it’s like no time has passed at all.
“A principaled stand!” Is now being added to my daily lexicon 😂 another great video! Would love to be a guest at one of your parties, I’m sure the dancing and conversation is top notch
I have a number of "acquaintances", but actual "friends"? I can count them on one hand and none live anywhere near me. They are either old high school friends, or old Army buddies.
What I really enjoy about this channel is that you are confident in speaking what you think, very very politely, which is a rare thing to see nowadays (in my experience, at least)
I've been let down by people who I considered a friend; I've been unpleasantly surprised by them too. My mentality means I find it difficult to have close friends, but they are closer than acquaintances.
Also things like wargamming, role playing, morris dancing etc. are not mainstream actvities, so if you do them you'll meet a fairly eclectic group of often eccentric people. Eccentric people tend to be eccentric in their own ways but the kind of low-energy people you describe are all quite alike.
I defintely would call some friends of mine close and others not. Even after a decade or more of friendship, some just never became close friends. There's always some hint of platonic distance. There's just some topics you wouldn't talk to them about and you wouldn't go on a 6 week trip together where you sleep in the same room. But then there's actual close friends. Those you can talk to about anything and you feel special connection to.
I have friends I've met in high school. we talk and we play games online together, and just about every other week, when our busy schedules allow it, we would get together to eat, watch a movie, and play board games. Amongst this group, which is about 9 people, I would count 3 of them as my best friends, whom I talk to and share thoughts, troubles, and memories with the most. We all have different careers, professions, and hobbies. So yes, I would say i have close friends, and even best friends.
You can't really define "close friend" you just know. It's like stepping on a lego in the dark. You don't know what colour it is or which set it is from but you know damn well that it's a lego 🙂
@@DepakoteMeisterAh come on. Unless you work for them, why do you have an interest in protecting their trademark? It's practically genericized at this point. We all know what the OP meant.
A close friend is someone you might not see often, but you trust them implicitly with personal information. I'm 39, female and count maybe 4 like this. I find it easy to connect socially and collect people like books, but the good ones, like books, stay on the obvious shelf, whether I put them there or not, if that makes sense. Anyhoo! Thanks for another great listen. Weird side note, my baby loves your videos. He's 7 months old and it must be your voice, but he listens and watches intently when we send you up to the telly 😂
@@jimbomacroth3400 Me too. I have family, family in law, and work aquantances, many of which I am friendly with, but I don't have friends. And I am quite happy with that.
Believe I might know what you were referring to with the last point and can confirm I found it equally bizarre. Firmly agree, also reminded of your "Make statues of heroes" video, which argues a very similar point I think.
At this point, I am the only one of my circle of friends that is still alive. Which I suppose has made me rather hesitant to make new ones. Obviously I have acquaintances etc but it's not the same really. (Though the public cancelling behaviour exhibited by folks like mr easton & others doesn't make too excited to either lol)
Purity is hard, but people willing to uphold some basic standards would be nice. If im your friend I keep your secrets, try to act in your interests as well as mine, put in the effort to include you, respect you but will also hold you accountable, make the effort to help you out if you're in a tough situation, and am willing to lend a hand when needed. These are some of the bare minimum things I put into a friendship; in turn, my bare minimums are someone trustworthy who includes me and doesnt treat me like a burden whenever we hang out, doesnt treat me like crap when I'm around them. I've had good friends before who seemed to embody everything I listed and more, then in time those things slowly changed. The erosion of trust has always been the final straw for me.
I know of a guy who had a great variety of friends of varying age groups, nationalities and stuff like that. Used to fly them all out to his private island for visits. He must be a great guy to be friendly with so many people. Wish he was still alive RIP❤
Too me a close friend is someone that becomes your family as the older you get, the less people you can confide in and trust to share personal and private information and vis versa.
I feel you. We’ve all been teleported into one of those uncomfortable social situations-The single personality group-Invariably uptight-what those Zodiac folks call Virgos and Capricorns (just a convenient label!) They disapprove of us while we can’t quite wrap our heads around them. Perhaps the take home is that neither group is capable of amending their personality. Just one’s nature. I recoil at the thought of an uptight prime minister. Yet, do we really want one of our sort doing our personal taxes or surgery? Takes all types. Fascinating topic-one of your personality traits!
I’d guess that little book has limited utility-I could certainly be wrong-but doubt it-It would take a panel of Jordan Peterson types to hash this out-whatever profession that is.
Depends on your emotional range. Some people are more limited in their emotional connections and may not compute the typical good close friend behaviours.
I have many people that I would consider my friends, but I have a core group of 4 very close friends. We talk in our group chat every day, we hangout whenever work schedules allow, play video games online together. We plan adventures, camping trips, all kinds of things
My way of rating things is: Someone I would chat to in the pub or if I bumped into them in town = acquaintance. Someone I'd invite to my house = friend. Someone whose house I could invite myself to = close friend. My best friend died, but she and I both knew we could ask the other if we could temporarily move in with them if we ever needed it.
It's not about the frequency of interaction when it comes to a close friend. It's the ease with which you can pick things back up when time and life permits that is a good indicator.
I don't have active friends. They're more like family, haven't spoken to them in years at times. Pretty sure a real friend is like that, but if you ever need them they're there for you.
@@jaeger2278 Sounds like you don't have a relationship like that, if you dont know you dont know. I have a lot of dudes who i haven't spoken to in years, but if they ever needed somthin, i'd drop whatever and help. Same the other way too.
A close friend is someone that you are "comfortable" with both sharing your true (shamefull?) secrets as well as receiving honest critique for them. Those are the people you can turn to when you screwed up majorly, and who can help you work out where to go from there.
IMO getting on with a wide variety of people speaks more about a person's lack of conviction than interpersonal skills. everyone with an opinion about anything ends up having enemies - having no enemies doesn't make you a wise anime character, it just makes you a universal non-variable that'll go along with anything, wrong or right.
My one close friend, I don't tend to spend a lot of time with; however, they've been the only constant thing in my life and are able to tell when I'm not being myself.
Richard is probably a much more interesting person than the other people around who wouldn't laugh unless Richard approved. In fact I wonder how he managed to control them in such a way. I wish you interviewed him one day.
The friends of mine who are the same age as me fall into the same category as my younger friends. I can much more easily confide in those who are older than me, and I tend to have a more conversation-based friendship with them. Same age, or younger friendships are more based on activities for me. I have both, but they serve very different purposes.
I have friends who I immediatelly lose the friendship once we don't frequent the same place, and maybe one close friend? even close friends can some times be temporary
The particular kinds of activities you participate in each tend to be the sorts which attract wide cross-sections of demographics. Dancing, RPGs, historical reenactment, and so on all are excellent networking venues for this precise reason. This would result in you having a far broader network variation than most people, who tend to get stuck in silos.
In regards to friends. Strength through unity. I do not need any other friends than the ones i allready have, we have a familial bond, we think very similarly because we are all closely related, triblalists.
I definitely have a set of close friends. We've known one another for 16 or more years. I've watched them have kids and those kids growing up. We talk regularly, we have lots of similar interests, and as I found in the past year, they were there for me in the darkest period of my life so far. They are all of a similar age, one is slightly younger. We're all societally functioning nerds, well mostly. What we do is nerdy (mainly RPGs and other table top gaming). They bring out the the child in me, let me escape the adult responsibilities of the world, at least for a time.
A close friend is someone you both go out of your way to be/stay in contact with, i.e you track them down to just spend time together and vice versa. Whereas a friend is someone you enjoy their company when you are both in the same place, but wouldn't necessarily call on their birthday (or even remember it). Imho
3:40 I feel he, kind of proved his own point wrong. About making friends your own age, like yeah, those people are what and who, you’re going to end up spending the most time and have most in common with. Even when you’re old, being stuck in an old folk’s home anyone. 😅
My guess is Lloyd might be alluding to a recent event at the end there. Involving Scholagladiatoria and Shadiversity. That bit of drama was a real shame, I've got to say. Very unnecessary.
I'm out of the loop. What happened? I'm still subbed to Scola but didn't watch any videos lately and unsubbed from Shadiversity a while ago (his new content isn't my cup of tea)
Sure, but for Matt Easton, as a left leaning person, hanging around with a right wing person would be like Lloyd was hanging around with a french person. But I think also that the youtube drama about it was propably unnecessary. It was in essence Matt Easton wanting to distance himself anyway of the guy, as efficiently as possible, as it seemed to me he didn't fundamentally like the guy, and I do understand why. Shadiversity is an annoying person. That I think is his primary character trait.
I watch them both, and enjoy each for their strengths. The kerfuffle rather disappointed me, it seemed altogether more childish than i would expect from someone like Matt.
@@puliturchannel7225 Seemed to me that they were getting along fine UNTIL Matt Eastons fans pointed out shad's (admittedly controversian) views, and then he immediately ditched shad. It seems like Easton was just trying to save his image (At least, from the facebook post that he made, it seemed that way) but had no issue with him personally. It's another case of unnecessary political drama ruining a good thing, it's happening way too much today. We, as a society, need to learn to disagree without hating, and we are getting further and furhter away from that.
I'm exactly like this being friends with everyone, my wife is the same but she also has the "principled stance" so I often have to convince her not to drop her friends.... so Annoying.
I've come to a point in life where most of my friends are either significantly older or younger than me except the few friends I still know from elementary school. I'm actively looking for people my own age, but I really don't know where they've gone.
"this is a bit of a sidetrack" typical Lindybeige video. Great stuff
How old are your friends?
So there was this thing called Zlarg Quest
Let's be honest. We watch this channel because of the sidetracks
A close friend would be one to whom, there's a definite bond and understanding. Someone who would definitely drop what they're doing to see you in the hospital, for example.
Yeah, a close friend would often just drop what they're doing for you.
Depending on the circumstances ofcourse.
Unless they are a brain surgeon..mid surgery
Lol
@@RamblesBramblesUnless the surgery is on you!
Also applies to mortal enemies.
Ah, Lindy the social chameleon, a friend to all....apart from 'Richard'
Does my cat 🐈⬛ count?
Richard sounds like more of a Dick
what of the French?
@@TankFan-yn6kg Napoleon specifically. He was a git.
@@TankFan-yn6kg hey i'm french ! you tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms!
No close friends here. Gilbert, a guy I've worked very well with for 8 years, died of a stroke last Monday. When working with him, it wasn't work. Damn good bloke.
I was going to hit like but that seems a bit inappropriate. People like Gilbert make life that bit easier so I'm sorry for your loss
Friend: Someone that I enjoy to be with.
Close Friend: Someone that I trust.
A lot of people are friendly but are really acquaintances. A few years ago I heard from someone that they have about 5 friends. Didn't understand at first but later I found that many of those I thought were my friends were fake.
Friends should have a similar maturity level (rather than age). Similar level of responsibility. Must respect each other's boundaries. Must be happy for the achievements of others.
A friend is someone who would help you move a sofa.
A real friend is someone who would help you move a body.
It's all in good fun, but I'm at the age where the people who were "real friends" 15-20 years ago are now either people with too much to lose if I involved them with something like that, and got caught; or we have out reasons not to ber friends anymore.
I think I may also not be the friend my friends would like people to make inferences about them from.
True. Bros before ho-riffic discoveries by the LAPD.
I think a real friend is actually one who would confront you about why you are moving a body, or turn you into the police. It would show that they care about you enough that they are grieved you are doing something wrong (presuming here that the body resulted from your actions). True friends want your best, and that does not include helping you cary out something evil.
@@fellfields2143 He said move a body, not fuck it.
@@f0rth3l0v30fchr15t ah, yes. But if you are moving it, doesn't that imply you killed someone?
The rise of cloud, iPhone, and social media directly correlates to a decline in my friendships. I love my friends from afar. But generally find it difficult to be in their physical presence.
In the 1970s the average american had 7 friends and nobody had 0. Today the average american has 3 friends and 16% have 0. I wonder if the internet dying to deep fakes will rejuvinate IRL relationships.
@@baltulielkungsgunarsmiezis9714 I legitimately have only 1 friend who I'd consider a real friend. Everyone else is an acquaintance at this point
@@baltulielkungsgunarsmiezis9714 there is also the thing that people nowadays have friends and "friends". How many of your facebook "friends" are what you would really consider friends? And how many would be close friends?
It says whatever The Party says it says, Winston.
Double-plus good
Thats very woke of you.
@@Likexner The path to 1984 leads from the right not the left. Woke just means you understand others have been oppressed. But I bet you want to oppress those who are different then you and see any attempts to stop that as authoritarian.
@@Likexner That's okay, he recited If recently. Over a century and a quarter old and the alt/right crowd would declare it woke.
A close friend is someone you'll let stay at your house while you aren't around.
idk about that. That's a trustworthy friend but not necessarily close
And a number of strangers have let me stay at their home unattended
The average person only has two and 1/2 friends. Sad, especially for the one in half.
Why? That person can ge friend with 2 people, all teh other firends only with one!
A close friend is like a sibling you love, not a biological one, but one you have chosen. And it goes both ways.
I've heard genetic designers make the best friends.
Why?
A close friend is one of those people that comes over whenever they want, raids your fridge without asking, hangs around like part of the furniture, and you don’t mind. You are that close you might as well be related. What we used to call “mates”.
Unfortunately all mine are long gone.
Lindy, I got into your lovely content when I was a boy of 11 for the history and thought that was the thing that kept me watching. Now as a boy of 20 I appreciate just listening to someone who approaches life with such an open mind and is unashamedly up for any topic or activity which peaks his interest, I think more people should look at life this way ❤
Wouldn't it be quite a situation if you had ended up marrying your close female friend?
Person: "So, how did you two meet?"
You: "Well, I was 3 years old and she was 2... I don't know if it was love at first sight because the hippocampus stores long-term memories when you are 4-5 years old."
I dunno, in my mind this sounds like the nerdy trolling Lindy would say :)
I've a strong memory, its quite shocking to me my wife can remember precious little before the age of 6, whereas the longer I spend thinking about it the more I remember from very young. Originally it was 3.5 but that's simply when I was temporally aware and properly can time allocate my memories reasonably. I'm fairly sure I'm memory complete at least to a few months old, maybe earlier.
However, I think a language thinker may remember but simply not comprehend before they can speak, whereas i believe memories are collections of emotions assigned values. I can remember being at a party on my mums chest and the sounds made my vision wobble-which is extremely young. It is tricky because it takes the couple hours it was to 'play' it back, and i was yet to learn to index memories properly.
Either i'm some kind of savant, i suppose its possible as my dad is autistic and mum dark triad, but my feeling is that it's simply the skill of remembering that holds you back.
I can remember so many days of nursery age 3 that I have to assume it was all of them, every saturday like it was yesterday, every minute of every unpleasant thing that's ever happened to me.
But when you have a quarter of a million hours of disordered content I understand why most can't find anything. Even now i'm flashed with years of random events i've not thought about since that bare resemblance to the topic, my emotional state and physical status.
My point being, if he's 3 he probably reasonably has memories of said event. If you can't, most of your early memories are probably involving your mouth and having a child will likely bring them back for me. It's only seeing that I revised my memory estimates as memories i attributed to older were much younger.
@@mandowarrior123 I swear to god, when I saw the long memoir you typed under my comment, I instantly went "Yep... autistic."
Don't get me wrong, I am the embodiment of ADHD, I am chugging (tonic) dopamine agonist drugs all day, and I know the challenges one can face, I come in peace my misunderstood friend. I also know that you most probably used this opportunity to reflect on your own by writing these down, rather than actually intending to share them with a complete stranger.
I don't know much about the "dark triad" but I strongly believe my father is also a narcissist and probably a sociopath, to the point where I asked him to get professional help so that our relationship can survive. I am glad I have none of his traits. I am drowning in empathy and cute kittens and puppies can make my day, no matter what, yknow?
My first childhood memory is of my overly-dramatic mom making noises like she found a dead animal under her pillow...
I almost shat myself btw. Petrified.
She turned to me and said "Today is your birthday! I forgot!".
That was my 4th birthday. Thanks mom, for kickstarting my hippocampus. You freak.
@@mandowarrior123 There's also the issue of how memory is stored to consider: Human memory storage is very lossy, and works largely based on connections Between memories. Every time you remember something, your brain is reconstructing a lot of the details from associated other memories (prioritising the more recent because they're the ones that exist)... and it's not perfect, so errors build up over time... among a number of other issues.
The more often you think about/remember something, the stronger your memory of that thing will be... but the more errors will have accumulated as your brain stores the most recent reconstruction of the memory rather than the original every time you do.
If your spouse wasn't your close friend first, you probably fucked up.
I'm so glad you clarified you were camping with your family, I was just about to congratulate you both for knowing how to put up a tent at ages 2 and 3!
14:30 😂 great personal twist on that classic phrase .. 👍
My whirling thing is dirty!
I realize now that all my close friends are disagreeable and argumentative.
The fact that i enjoy their company and conversation would probably point to me being disagreeable and argumentative as well.
I disagree. When's gaming night?
@@mandowarrior123he’s literally me
I think I have an idea about who he’s referring to at the end. But I agree. Disavowing people for pretty commonly held beliefs to yours is a little too much if those beliefs don’t particularly harm anyone in any real way
i've got an idea too and might have unsubscribed that person because i don't want to support this behaviour.
stay friends, have fun together, don't care about differences.
That particular know-it-all (doesn't know anything).
doesn't just have nasty opinions, he also is a straight up toxic human being... And a crybaby.
I think I also know who Lindy is talking about. I personally believe that, for example, conflating LGBT people with groomers and p***philes does in fact harm people in a very real way and I can't fault anyone for not wanting to associate with a person holding such views. No one is entitled to anyone's friendship after all. (censored for youtube)
Thank you for not turning on Shad. I enjoy both of your channels and I hate when people try to make you take sides. Cheers 🍻
I figured that's what he was talking about as well. We as a society should be working to accept others, not thinking up reasons to hate on them. If someone is kind and respectful to me, I'll be kind and respectful to them, even if I disagree with their views.
@@Sepultra012 That's all well and good until your friend goes off the handle about a movie you like, yells about "woke garbage", and then you realise that you either have to put up with it or just avoid certain topics to keep the peace. Even ignoring his politics, it just wouldn't be a fun conversation.
If that alt channel is meant to represent his personal views, his views are embarrassing.
@@Br-Al-De I haven't seen his second channel, but I also strongly disagree with "Woke" garbage. I don't think there are any (Or, very few) genuinely good "Woke" films, almost all are terrible, many are offensive and exclusionary.
But that's not the point. The point is, people's personal views are their own. As long as shad confines his personal views to his channel, that's fine, he's not forcing them on anyone, you can just not watch the channel if you dont like it.
Starting arguments and yelling to you about your favourite movie is a different, that's obnoxious behaviour, but has shad done that? I mean, other than a youtube channel where he discusses his views, has he done anything to inconvenience anyone? As far as I am aware, he hasn't.
@@Br-Al-Deif that’s all it takes for you to disown a friend, then you were never a friend to begin with.
@@Sepultra012 I think its fine to not want to associate profesionally with someone who makes alt-right ragebait content. Its a shame the collab will never be published, but thats because of the other collaborators in it for me.
Personal opinions are one thing, but a youtube colab is a business move to combine both creator's brands. Its a business decison as well as a personal distancing.
Its not about still being friends with someone even when they vote a different way, or believes social progress is best done by wealth distribution rather than enabling sucess, its about distancing yourself and your brand from someone who makes hateful videos. Its also about the degree of difference.
And as for his personal opinions are his own. True, until your business is making videos about said views. Sure I can just not watch and I'm fine. But again, that doesnt oblige me to ignore them if I were to combine our brands in a colab video.
I'd also say the videos of him railing against woke media is obnoxious. Videos raging about changing the ethnicity/sexuality of a character that are longer than the episode counts as obnoxious to me.
Inconvenienced anyone? No, they just unsubscribe, which theyre doing in their thousands.
Broadly speaking, the "closeness" of friends is more to do with how comfortable you are losing some level of politeness or reservation around them than any level of physical proximity or frequency of meeting.
Obviously you don't need to be crude or ill-mannered to them (or any more crude or ill-mannered than you might already be, not judging) for it to count, just that their presence is almost an act of trust, and that any outsider joining in with you might feel a bit left out of in terms of context to inside jokes or events that you and these "close" friends have gone through together.
Seems a bit exclusive and cliquey at first, but I tend to find persistent familiarity tends to help give opportunities for these social threads to be untangled by the sufficiently determined.
Mate tone down the verbosity.
@@bramlinssen6940It's his business to write long comments, why's it yours to comment on them? Don't be a Richard!
@@bramlinssen6940 Nay, for I rather enjoyed the soliloquy of Darth-OP.
I recognise that situation Lloyd describes at the end of the video, I remember that I was really confused when it happend, it left a bit of a bitter taste im my mouth.
Same here. I feel the rest of us were robbed of some wonderful content because of it.
Care to enlighten us on the situation? I don't know that to which he's referring
@@DerPinguim Well I really don't want to bring the drama up. But basically couple of years ago RUclipsrs from community of the sword met up in Britain had a fun day and filmed some content. After that day one of them posted a photo of them together and under that photo was quite a bit of really negative comments about one person in said company. And in reaction to this comments person who posted the photo basically disowned the person that was criticised and distanced themselves to avoid any more angry coments.
That's basically it. I do apologise for being unclear but as I said I want to avoid drama
Whilst I think its good to have a personal relationship with people with other views than your own, the youtuber Lloyds talking about has said some frankly awful things and is falling down the alt right grifttube ragebait pop-media review spiral, theres a whole subreddit dedicated to documenting it. His channel is tanking in subs because people down want to listen or associate with those opinions and style of content. I think its fine to distance yourself professionally from that.
Pretty clear to everyone who has been keeping up with what's been up who and what and who you are talking about, it's really a shame that it ended up going the way that it did as I feel sure we all would have loved to see all the events held.
Either way I always love your videos and hope you are well, cheers.
Care to drop a hint or point in a direction for those of us that haven't been keeping up? I'm an appreciator of Lindybeige's content, but unfortunately don't have the hours in the day to call myself a devoted fan.
@@paulk5670 all I can say since he didn't want to be more specific himself and I'm going to respect his wishes to do so is it involves a group of RUclipsrs and some drama. If you like this gentleman's channel you probably follow some other channels that already have the information available but I'm going to respect Lindy's wishes to not put it on blast.
@@paulk5670 some others already dropped the names.
basically the person posting the image has a certain political view and a rather political community. the other person has an opposing political view. as you probably know, in the internet that is a major offence. so the mob gathered and the person posting the image gave in rather willingly and joined that mob instead of pleading for getting along with each other like lindy does.
@@BayWa4eva "Certain political views" is a very charitable way to put it. Shame that those political views happen to be about spewing hate and bigotry towards certain groups of people. How are you supposed to "get along" with such a person if they themself are not willing to compromise?
@@UngodlyFreakthe same way I can be friends with an unironic communist. We disagree on very basic things but i cannot talk frankly about taboo or politically incorrect things with anyone else.
Remember, you can’t make new old friends. Value them
You can, it just takes a long time.
I didn't think I would hear Lloyd's take on Easton vs Brooks fallout in this particular video, but here we are.
Now come on; nobody here was in any doubt, but it's not very gentlemanly to name names.
Oh wow. I haven't followed either of those two for a long time (in the former's case, because the content was too dry and not in a period I was interested in, in the latter's case because it was too sensationalistic and poorly-researched-and later because I found out how much of a bigot he is), so I had no idea this had gone down. If that's what Lloyd is talking about here, it's very disappointing (if not exactly surprising) to see him try to downplay Brooks' bigotry as "some time passed said something that was in some way wrong". No, that's not it at all. It's an ongoing and repetitive sharing of hateful drivel and of platforming people whose entire goal is to spread hate.
You're a zombie.
@@JimCullenjudging from the way you talk you sound actually insufferable. Disowning a friend who had your back because they believe something controversial means you suck. I find communist sympathy to be moronic on the verge of lunacy but it won’t prevent me from keeping one of my oldest friends around, loyalty begets loyalty.
A real friend is someone you can go camping/fishing/hunting with for two weeks and still be laughing on the drive home!
Hmm, close friends? For me it's the people who know my struggles, the people that actually know the things I'm NOT good at.
A close friend, to me, is someone who I can not see for an extended period of time, but there’s still a mutual understanding that you’re still close, and when you see them again it’s like no time has passed at all.
This event at the end sounds like the story between Shadyversity and scholagladiatora.
friends, they say many things about me, (they're just voices in my head)
“A principaled stand!” Is now being added to my daily lexicon 😂 another great video! Would love to be a guest at one of your parties, I’m sure the dancing and conversation is top notch
I have a number of "acquaintances", but actual "friends"? I can count them on one hand and none live anywhere near me. They are either old high school friends, or old Army buddies.
What I really enjoy about this channel is that you are confident in speaking what you think, very very politely, which is a rare thing to see nowadays (in my experience, at least)
I've been let down by people who I considered a friend; I've been unpleasantly surprised by them too.
My mentality means I find it difficult to have close friends, but they are closer than acquaintances.
He never buys the beer!
Of course since I don’t drink… 😂😂😂
Also things like wargamming, role playing, morris dancing etc. are not mainstream actvities, so if you do them you'll meet a fairly eclectic group of often eccentric people. Eccentric people tend to be eccentric in their own ways but the kind of low-energy people you describe are all quite alike.
eccentric friends can be a double edged sword: Great when it works out but I can go south very dramatically.
4:59 “When you go to a Swing Dance camp, yes, there’s the dancing, but there is usually something else happening as well.”
🤭
Oh my!
I defintely would call some friends of mine close and others not.
Even after a decade or more of friendship, some just never became close friends. There's always some hint of platonic distance. There's just some topics you wouldn't talk to them about and you wouldn't go on a 6 week trip together where you sleep in the same room.
But then there's actual close friends. Those you can talk to about anything and you feel special connection to.
I have friends I've met in high school. we talk and we play games online together, and just about every other week, when our busy schedules allow it, we would get together to eat, watch a movie, and play board games. Amongst this group, which is about 9 people, I would count 3 of them as my best friends, whom I talk to and share thoughts, troubles, and memories with the most. We all have different careers, professions, and hobbies. So yes, I would say i have close friends, and even best friends.
Thank you for your statement at the end! Very important in these times of division 👍
You can't really define "close friend" you just know.
It's like stepping on a lego in the dark.
You don't know what colour it is or which set it is from but you know damn well that it's a lego 🙂
Stepping on Lego, not 'a Lego'. A Lego brick maybe.
@@DepakoteMeisterAh come on. Unless you work for them, why do you have an interest in protecting their trademark? It's practically genericized at this point. We all know what the OP meant.
A close friend is someone you might not see often, but you trust them implicitly with personal information. I'm 39, female and count maybe 4 like this. I find it easy to connect socially and collect people like books, but the good ones, like books, stay on the obvious shelf, whether I put them there or not, if that makes sense. Anyhoo! Thanks for another great listen. Weird side note, my baby loves your videos. He's 7 months old and it must be your voice, but he listens and watches intently when we send you up to the telly 😂
I don’t have friends they say nothing about me
I'm the same. Therefore, your distant, silent friend.
@@jimbomacroth3400 Me too. I have family, family in law, and work aquantances, many of which I am friendly with, but I don't have friends. And I am quite happy with that.
@@DepakoteMeister Yep, same here and think its the same for a lot of people.
I am your friend and I think you are pretty cool
I have my wife’s friends
I don't think I have any friends man, but hey, its a great video as always!
Believe I might know what you were referring to with the last point and can confirm I found it equally bizarre.
Firmly agree, also reminded of your "Make statues of heroes" video, which argues a very similar point I think.
At this point, I am the only one of my circle of friends that is still alive. Which I suppose has made me rather hesitant to make new ones. Obviously I have acquaintances etc but it's not the same really. (Though the public cancelling behaviour exhibited by folks like mr easton & others doesn't make too excited to either lol)
friends? whoah, what a concept!
Well you see Lindy, the reason you've such a varied group of friends is, you seem like such a personable person.
Very interesting thoughts about friends. I appreciate the different viewpoints.
Lindy make more daily videos pleaseee.
The fecal matter collided sharply with the rotary oscillator 😁
Insisting on purity from others only tends to end up with being completely alone.
Source: I am completely alone, but have at least learned from it.
Purity is hard, but people willing to uphold some basic standards would be nice.
If im your friend I keep your secrets, try to act in your interests as well as mine, put in the effort to include you, respect you but will also hold you accountable, make the effort to help you out if you're in a tough situation, and am willing to lend a hand when needed.
These are some of the bare minimum things I put into a friendship; in turn, my bare minimums are someone trustworthy who includes me and doesnt treat me like a burden whenever we hang out, doesnt treat me like crap when I'm around them. I've had good friends before who seemed to embody everything I listed and more, then in time those things slowly changed. The erosion of trust has always been the final straw for me.
You are one of the only people who when they say “ I said something undeniably funny” I actually believe you lol.
I know of a guy who had a great variety of friends of varying age groups, nationalities and stuff like that. Used to fly them all out to his private island for visits. He must be a great guy to be friendly with so many people. Wish he was still alive RIP❤
I would think a close friend is one you're intimate with.
A friend can be defined as: someone whom you know all of their faults, but like them anyway.
A close friend is someone you seek out spending time with
Too me a close friend is someone that becomes your family as the older you get, the less people you can confide in and trust to share personal and private information and vis versa.
“This is not the funniest joke in the world, this is just a tribute”
I love these questions videos! On a side note, when is the next long video dropping?
It's really about learning the difference between an acquaintance and a friend.
id love a podcast of you talking about these things, maybe just daisy chain a couple and upload them? :)
Close friend is one you break bread with, live your daily life with. Everyone else is an acquaintance!
I feel you. We’ve all been teleported into one of those uncomfortable social situations-The single personality group-Invariably uptight-what those Zodiac folks call Virgos and Capricorns (just a convenient label!) They disapprove of us while we can’t quite wrap our heads around them. Perhaps the take home is that neither group is capable of amending their personality. Just one’s nature. I recoil at the thought of an uptight prime minister. Yet, do we really want one of our sort doing our personal taxes or surgery? Takes all types. Fascinating topic-one of your personality traits!
I’d guess that little book has limited utility-I could certainly be wrong-but doubt it-It would take a panel of Jordan Peterson types to hash this out-whatever profession that is.
Friends? What are those?
Omg this is just too good, all too relatable!
If you judge people, it doesn’t define them, it defines you.
If you don't know what a close friend is then you don't have any.
Depends on your emotional range. Some people are more limited in their emotional connections and may not compute the typical good close friend behaviours.
I have many people that I would consider my friends, but I have a core group of 4 very close friends. We talk in our group chat every day, we hangout whenever work schedules allow, play video games online together. We plan adventures, camping trips, all kinds of things
My way of rating things is: Someone I would chat to in the pub or if I bumped into them in town = acquaintance. Someone I'd invite to my house = friend. Someone whose house I could invite myself to = close friend. My best friend died, but she and I both knew we could ask the other if we could temporarily move in with them if we ever needed it.
It's not about the frequency of interaction when it comes to a close friend. It's the ease with which you can pick things back up when time and life permits that is a good indicator.
Seems like it is rare to have close friends who will be there when times are bad and good.
So I am luckier than I thought.
Lindy beige, the definition of "ive started, so ill finnish..."
my friends never speak ill of each other, at least when they're with me
i only keep close friends, everything else is an acquaintance
I don't have active friends. They're more like family, haven't spoken to them in years at times. Pretty sure a real friend is like that, but if you ever need them they're there for you.
That's more of a tool than a friend
I never liked this sort of thing. Maybe because i spent so much time alone.
@@jaeger2278 Sounds like you don't have a relationship like that, if you dont know you dont know. I have a lot of dudes who i haven't spoken to in years, but if they ever needed somthin, i'd drop whatever and help. Same the other way too.
Agreed friends are people who you can speak to and have a connection with no matter how long apart you are
A close friend is someone that you are "comfortable" with both sharing your true (shamefull?) secrets as well as receiving honest critique for them. Those are the people you can turn to when you screwed up majorly, and who can help you work out where to go from there.
I quite elegantly avoid this dilemma by having no friends.
I think we’ve all had a Richard in our lives at some point. Glad to know you found the amulet of Zlorg in order to defeat him.
IMO getting on with a wide variety of people speaks more about a person's lack of conviction than interpersonal skills. everyone with an opinion about anything ends up having enemies - having no enemies doesn't make you a wise anime character, it just makes you a universal non-variable that'll go along with anything, wrong or right.
My one close friend, I don't tend to spend a lot of time with; however, they've been the only constant thing in my life and are able to tell when I'm not being myself.
Oh, and vice versa.
Core questions answer: Yes!
Richard is probably a much more interesting person than the other people around who wouldn't laugh unless Richard approved. In fact I wonder how he managed to control them in such a way. I wish you interviewed him one day.
Close friend = someone I've known long enough and well enough to be 99% certain they're not a psychopath.
The friends of mine who are the same age as me fall into the same category as my younger friends. I can much more easily confide in those who are older than me, and I tend to have a more conversation-based friendship with them.
Same age, or younger friendships are more based on activities for me.
I have both, but they serve very different purposes.
My friends tend to be the opposite of me while still being compatible. Around my age and generally stoic emotionally but they're all softies deep down
I have friends who I immediatelly lose the friendship once we don't frequent the same place, and maybe one close friend? even close friends can some times be temporary
The particular kinds of activities you participate in each tend to be the sorts which attract wide cross-sections of demographics. Dancing, RPGs, historical reenactment, and so on all are excellent networking venues for this precise reason. This would result in you having a far broader network variation than most people, who tend to get stuck in silos.
In regards to friends.
Strength through unity.
I do not need any other friends than the ones i allready have, we have a familial bond, we think very similarly because we are all closely related, triblalists.
4:23 It seems like you are talking about my parents here, never knew you met them.
I definitely have a set of close friends. We've known one another for 16 or more years. I've watched them have kids and those kids growing up. We talk regularly, we have lots of similar interests, and as I found in the past year, they were there for me in the darkest period of my life so far. They are all of a similar age, one is slightly younger.
We're all societally functioning nerds, well mostly. What we do is nerdy (mainly RPGs and other table top gaming). They bring out the the child in me, let me escape the adult responsibilities of the world, at least for a time.
A close friend is someone you both go out of your way to be/stay in contact with, i.e you track them down to just spend time together and vice versa. Whereas a friend is someone you enjoy their company when you are both in the same place, but wouldn't necessarily call on their birthday (or even remember it). Imho
And I would add, you share deep personal details of each other's lives
Great video.
3:40 I feel he, kind of proved his own point wrong. About making friends your own age, like yeah, those people are what and who, you’re going to end up spending the most time and have most in common with. Even when you’re old, being stuck in an old folk’s home anyone. 😅
I'm not sure I could answer any of these, having no friends that I know of.
Fantastic video
My guess is Lloyd might be alluding to a recent event at the end there. Involving Scholagladiatoria and Shadiversity.
That bit of drama was a real shame, I've got to say. Very unnecessary.
I'm out of the loop. What happened? I'm still subbed to Scola but didn't watch any videos lately and unsubbed from Shadiversity a while ago (his new content isn't my cup of tea)
Sure, but for Matt Easton, as a left leaning person, hanging around with a right wing person would be like Lloyd was hanging around with a french person.
But I think also that the youtube drama about it was propably unnecessary.
It was in essence Matt Easton wanting to distance himself anyway of the guy, as efficiently as possible, as it seemed to me he didn't fundamentally like the guy, and I do understand why. Shadiversity is an annoying person. That I think is his primary character trait.
That drama is the perfect encapsulation of current day ridiculousness.
I watch them both, and enjoy each for their strengths. The kerfuffle rather disappointed me, it seemed altogether more childish than i would expect from someone like Matt.
@@puliturchannel7225 Seemed to me that they were getting along fine UNTIL Matt Eastons fans pointed out shad's (admittedly controversian) views, and then he immediately ditched shad. It seems like Easton was just trying to save his image (At least, from the facebook post that he made, it seemed that way) but had no issue with him personally.
It's another case of unnecessary political drama ruining a good thing, it's happening way too much today.
We, as a society, need to learn to disagree without hating, and we are getting further and furhter away from that.
You can have close friends that you only see a few times a year.
I'm exactly like this being friends with everyone, my wife is the same but she also has the "principled stance" so I often have to convince her not to drop her friends.... so Annoying.
I've come to a point in life where most of my friends are either significantly older or younger than me except the few friends I still know from elementary school. I'm actively looking for people my own age, but I really don't know where they've gone.