Enneagram: Defense Strategy of Type 9
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- Опубликовано: 9 фев 2025
- Are you a type nine on the Enneagram? Do you tend to avoid conflict and seek comfort in order to maintain your sense of peace? Join Dr. Tom as he delves into the defense mechanism known as narcotization, exploring how it may impact your life and relationships. Subscribe for more insightful discussions on Enneagram types and defense strategies!
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Dr. Tom LaHue is a graduate of Florida Christian College. He holds 3 Master's Degrees including an MDiv from Liberty Univ. His Doctoral degree is from Grace College and Seminary. He is also a certified Marriage Coach. He and his wife Traci have been married since 1991. They are the proud parents of 5 children and 5 grandchildren.
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As a 9, I laughed when you said, “often will laugh at my jokes when no one else will.” 😂
True
9w1 here and yep, I laughed out loud too 😂 Thanks Dr. LaHue
9w1… same😊!
Same 😂
9w1: your jokes (and sense of humor) is awesome!
Not me loosing myself in learning about my enneagram. It is so pleasant to sit for almost an hour and listening about my problems that won't go away by themselves 😊 But hey, I need this information. It will help me solve my problems... Somewhere in the future.
Well said!
That's a great video. I'm 9w1, when I'm in a conflict, I feel like I'm not in control of myself. My voice starts to shake, my throat tight, tears about drop, and my whole body is shaking. And I don't feel comfortable when people see me like that. So that's why I often avoid conflicts.
However I truly believe constructive conflicts are necessary to build up our characters and maybe going to the 9w8.
Right
Oh I feel this totally
Literally the most real thing I've read all day
I find myself retreating from my conflicted marriage because my boundaries aren't respected. When I hear blame, guilt, shame, instant anger, false accusations I enforce my boundaries by checking out of the conversation. I don't see how to engage with this type of communication and maintain my mental health or not exhibit unhealthy communication of ky own.
This!! I ONLY (well mostly) exhibit these 9 characteristics when THIS happens! So if there isn't anyone trying to be this way, I don't "fall asleep" to anything. In fact, I feel I'm one of the only people, in my circle, who speaks their mind, compared to some others (at least initially). But receiving pushback so many times, I'm definitely going to shut down IF I can't get away from you for whatever reason (spouse fits this category)
This 9w1,had to go through a lot because of unconscious numbing.Got a hang of facing conflict and coming out from narc- partner.Feeling way better now.
Awesome
Brilliant as always! It always amazes me how insightful your lectures are. My husband is a very healthy 9w1. From my perspective as an 8w7, everything you've addressed is spot-on. It has worked for us well for over 30 years because it allows me to be the 'rocket to the moon' without my husband clipping my wings while allowing him to do what he came as a 9 to this planet to do. Enneagram rocks, and your Tom takes on it are my most favorite. Thank you for taking over Richard Rohr who's teachings were the reason for initiating my fascination with the Enneagram.
WOW...Thanks so much! Glad you are on the TEAM.
Brilliant nuance in peace maker vs keeper. That really struck home Tom! At my best that's definitely what I do.
PS I was lost for a whole minute after you said you want to CHALLENGE me 😱😂
Awesome
11:21 and the subsequent 40 seconds or so are spot on and described me to a T.
I'm glad you found that part relatable! It's always interesting to see how our experiences can connect us.
Thank you for the work that you do, ESPECIALLY given it's not behind a pay-wall!!! Your videos have helped me tremendously.
You are so welcome!
9w1 here: what helps me tremendously is hanging out with 3s. Their drive to accomplish and be successful has a way of nurturing that sleeping energy within me. They seem to be more excited about me accomplishing my dreams than I am…
I'm going to need more ice packs for all these burns...growing enneagram 9 speaking.
Hurts so good
Tom, i am a 9-1. I have never understood myself as much as when I hear your commentary on the 9 type. It was like this person understands me and there are other 9’s out there and I’m not alone in my crazy idiosyncrasies. Thank you.
Awesome
9w8 here. I really appreciate this motivation, thanks! 😁
You're so welcome!
Spot on. Thank you from a 9
You’re welcome 😊
I can totally relate I always have an underlying urge to “run away”.
Woah. The narcotizing you described really hit home. There's a song by Noah Kahan called "Growing Sideways." The chorus sums up everything you described about us 9s:
"But I ignore things, and I move sideways. Until I forget what I felt in the first place. At the end of the day I know there are worse ways to stay alive. If my engine works perfect on empty
I guess I'll drive."
It's easy to become stagnant if it means avoiding problems. I know I've become accustomed to growing sideways rather than moving forward 😕
Thanks for sharing this.
If I could trust that I will not be emotionally threatened or punished (silent treatment for example) I would take on the fear and start speaking up. The problem is that I’m surrounded by people who will not appreciate my strength and then I will be alone.
It's tough when you feel like you can't speak up without facing consequences. Remember, your voice matters.
So glad I found your channel. I've watched a couple videos and I've felt anger, "ouch", and sadness. I also realized that I use my "9" as an excuse to not make decisions, speak up, etc. Yet in the back of my mind I always hear, "If others can speak up, why can't I?" I can. It just takes a whole lot of energy. And practice. Looking forward to watching more of your videos!
I'm really glad you found the channel! It’s amazing how self-reflection can lead to powerful changes. Keep practicing, and remember, every little step counts!
Thank you so much!! I finally figured out that I’m a social 9. Your videos are the best. Easy to understand and I love your honest and loving energy.
You are so welcome!
Fantastic comment "You may be very content with your life. But should you be?" That one really hit hard. But so true..
And so many of my friends, colleagues etc who constantly push me and seem to think I am destined for something greater.
They even feel a bit frustrated about me not reaching for the stars and starting my own company.
But I'm now finally taking baby steps towards that. Finally.
This hurt. Alot. It was a punch to the stomach. Appreciate it. Hope I am motivated enough to do something about it.
Awesome
I'm a 9w8 and was married for 32 years to a drama wife and kept the peace in my house the best I could, I fulfilled my husband duty. Now that I left I cherish my peace. I still help when I'm needed, but I do appreciate my own hobbies and my privacy! Glad to hear this channel
It sounds like you've been through a lot, but it's great to hear that you're finding peace and enjoying your hobbies now!
9w8 here. I love your videos Tom. I really need change right now but I’m stuck in avoidance, very slothy. So much so that although I can watch videos about other types, lately I can’t manage to focus on any videos about 9s.
You can do it!
🎉 9w8.
Narcotizzation through the gym and overeating. 8:48 😢😢😢 The struggle is real. I mean with the overeat part. Used to take drugs and alcohol.
So, I guess the change is for better.
Thank you for your videos. Gonna move on to the motivation part now. 🎉
Thanks for sharing this.
Excellent. Thank you.
You are welcome!
Sitting! 🥰❤️
YES
Hi! Dr Tom~ Thank you for your videos. I just recently was introduced to the Enneagram and find your videos very helpful and informative.
You are very welcome
Thank you for the freebie. 😃 I love this series.
You are so welcome!
It's true. I really need to deal with the dishes that's been sitting in the sink for the last week or so, but I would rather just work on my novel.
It's always a struggle to choose between chores and passion projects!
Thank you Tom! Always such great teaching from you. I’m a 9 w/1
When you gave the example of, “hey I’m just gonna leave for the circus”. First of all that was hysterical and I laughed out loud. I will be listening to that part again 😂 I have a question about the different E. types and how they fit in with “doers and thinkers”. I, being a 9 and a thinking, would never decide to make such a big decision like that. Hey I think I’m going to pick up and join the circus or move to another state or start a business. A mentor of mine once said he believes there are two types of people in this world- doers and thinkers. So I’m wondering if I’m not only a 9-slothful AND a thinker, making it even worse 😭 Sometimes opportunities arise and I have to think about it so long to make sure it’s the right decision that the opportunity might pass before I decide “yes”.
9w1 "The Dreamer"
Never heard of the word narcotization…
Yes... The struggle is real.
If I’m going to speak up I automatically assume the relationship is over and even if it’s not I will make it be over
WOW
Hi, I have a question. In the begining maybe a year ago, when I discovered the enneagram because of your videos I though I was a 9. After a while and searching more about it, then I started to feel that I was a 6, and now I feel like a 9 again. Is it possible to enneagram number to change, or it is always the same number forever. Maybe I just don't know enough about it still. I like to watch your videos alot. You helped through some of the most hard times in my life. Thank you :3
Wow, thanks... My guess a 9 under pressure.
Did any other nines watch all 9 videos at the same time? Is that just me? Wait, I want to see what the 2 video is like... But im only half way done with this one..
COOL
Or it’s meditative …
Brilliant as always! It always amazes me how insightful your lectures are. My husband is a very healthy 9w1. From my perspective as an 8w7, everything you've addressed is spot-on. It has worked for us well for over 30 years because it allows me to be the 'rocket to the moon' without my husband clipping my wings while allowing him to do what he came as a 9 to this planet to do. Enneagram rocks, and your Tom takes on it are my most favorite. Thank you for taking over Richard Rohr who's teachings were the reason for initiating my fascination with the Enneagram.
WOW...Thanks so much! Glad you are on the TEAM.