As a type four married to a five… whew! You are spot on! We just had the exact fight you used as an example for the first defense mechanism fives use, so your insight really helps! My husband said this is great (but humbling) stuff!
I was in fits of laughter nearly all the way through that video. I am a 5 AND a middle school teacher and get home in the afternoon completely exhausted 😂😂😂 on the other hand those kids keep me alive and it is probably for good reasons that I chose this job 20 years ago. My tritype is 5-8-3 though, so that might help me get through my week ... 😄
Thank you so much for highlighting that subject in your video. Depending on my energy level, there are days when I drive to work in the morning horrified even after all those years, wondering how on earth I am going to cope with those bouncy, noisy, chaotic teenagers but then, in the midst of it, I usually find that life gives me the strength to face those challenges and that it can even be fun 🙏
The internal world where everything makes sense. Where building and improving the models is the priority. Where 2 + 2 always equals 4, not some hidden 0.5 added or subtracted. Systems thinking. Where you can focus on your own priorities and values. Other people are always to pull you into their priorities or solve their own problems.
Yes! Type 5 might have all the theoretical knowledge on how to survive a zombie apocalypse, but when push comes to shove, I'm 100% picking a Type 6 to help me survive, and I'm a 5 myself :P
Thank you for this video as always Tom. I look forward to your video on 9s on this subject. I feel very split between 5w6 and 9 as my type.- I need to learn more about Tri-Types - I suspect my answer lies there.
Yesss..yesss..yesss and biting- sarcastic black humor...😅😂🤣🤣😁😒🥴 biting the teacher down with words...🤭😏🤭🧐 Your integration line is 7-5-8-2.... no 1 is the stresspoint..due to infos from Riso & Hudson..😮😊😁 We are the true hsp 's...😂🎉😆😁😉
Me and a classmate, for a Russian history course, used to study together. The only thing we connected on was the information in this course. One time, a book unrelated to Russian history (it was The World's Religions by Huston Smith) fell out of my bag. I began explaining what this new book was (it's an incredible holistic view of the world's religions), and he showed discomfort, then betrayal in his face. I said "I'm not attempting to segway into a discussion about religious beliefs." He got up, walked away, and we haven't conversed since. I think it was a combination of the sudden change in material, and the emotional charge of that material (religion). I'm a 6w5 and I'm pretty sure he was a 5w6.
@@MeBe35 I think he misinterpreted my enthusiasm for Smith's book on religious history, as an attempt to convert him to a faith somehow. Honestly though, I'm not sure what I did either, but he was clearly bothered. He left right after, and we were not finished.
I did want to share that as a 5. Recently i have loved using grammarly's AI tool to understand how my message or emails are perceived and being able to use AI to tweak an email to sound more friendly and pleasing. At times, AI provides me with language that I wouldn't have considered.
Some of the negative 5 traits you talk about, like fives not wanting you to explain to them things they don't know, but 5's wanting to explain things to you, I only relate to insofar as it has to do with ADHD and audio processing disorder. I don't relate to it as a 5. And, probably also because of my adhd and audio processing disorder, I have a hard time being asked questions because it forces me to have to stop my mind, think about what they asked me, and then then about how to answer. I really think there must. be a huge range in how fives act and relate to others. I totally relate to the isolation tendencies, and the feeling completely depleted by the world and feeling like I have no inner resources, but when I am out in the world it matters to me very much to make others feel seen and cared about.
Yah, that's certainly true. I think it's helpful to consider enneagram and myers briggs together. For example, an enneagram 5/infj is going to have a lot of differences than and enneagram/istj. But I found a lot of this video helpful in just kind of validating my inner experiences that lead me to isolate. So thanks!
I think a lot of 5s escaping is because they are bored with most mundane things. They would rather direct their mind towards a more interesting thought, idea, or subject that feels more relevant and important to them in that moment
It seems like the disconnect is often that people in general misunderstand the reasons for actions or vibes. Fives aren't allowed to demand that others accommodate their feelings/emotions/energy, therefore, it's exhausting and frustrating to be expected to accommodate other people's feelings/emotions/energy. If you think about it, it's an illogical and asymmetrical expectation. And fives do it anyway and then have to catch slack as a thank you.
It’s not that we don’t want to hear about what we don’t know. If it’s something I’m interested in, I would love to hear an expert talk about it. What we hate is when people bore us with things we don’t care about like gossip, celebrity drama, their personal problems, etc.
I totally get what you're saying! It's all about sharing knowledge on topics that truly interest us. Engaging conversations can make all the difference!
As a type four married to a five… whew! You are spot on! We just had the exact fight you used as an example for the first defense mechanism fives use, so your insight really helps! My husband said this is great (but humbling) stuff!
Wow, thanks for the positive feedback...I really appreciate it.
I’m worn out by the time I get to work!
I was in fits of laughter nearly all the way through that video. I am a 5 AND a middle school teacher and get home in the afternoon completely exhausted 😂😂😂 on the other hand those kids keep me alive and it is probably for good reasons that I chose this job 20 years ago. My tritype is 5-8-3 though, so that might help me get through my week ... 😄
That is awesome!
Thank you so much for highlighting that subject in your video. Depending on my energy level, there are days when I drive to work in the morning horrified even after all those years, wondering how on earth I am going to cope with those bouncy, noisy, chaotic teenagers but then, in the midst of it, I usually find that life gives me the strength to face those challenges and that it can even be fun 🙏
You are a wise & kind man Dr Tom
Awe, Thanks
Tom’s tritype got updated!!!
Yes, I thought 714, but it is 712
I am a 5 and I think you nailed it on the head. You have a great understanding.
Awesome, thanks.
The internal world where everything makes sense. Where building and improving the models is the priority. Where 2 + 2 always equals 4, not some hidden 0.5 added or subtracted. Systems thinking.
Where you can focus on your own priorities and values. Other people are always to pull you into their priorities or solve their own problems.
In all seriousness, it is all about balance like you said. Just scheduling some bunker time for yourself and freeing yourself up to be with others.
Me personally, I think Type 6 is probably the most ideal type for a zombie apocalypse.
Not going to argue with that.
Yes! Type 5 might have all the theoretical knowledge on how to survive a zombie apocalypse, but when push comes to shove, I'm 100% picking a Type 6 to help me survive, and I'm a 5 myself :P
Thank you for this video. As a 5, I related much with it and also appreciated the practical points at the end
Glad you enjoyed it!
lol Boundaries. Mastering the awkward pause is game changer.
Awesome
Thank you for this video as always Tom. I look forward to your video on 9s on this subject. I feel very split between 5w6 and 9 as my type.- I need to learn more about Tri-Types - I suspect my answer lies there.
welcome
Again an amazing video with new insights. Thank you 🙏 ❤
Glad you enjoyed it!
Interesting thoughts shared in this. Thank you for sharing!
Glad it was helpful!
Yesss..yesss..yesss and biting- sarcastic black humor...😅😂🤣🤣😁😒🥴 biting the teacher down with words...🤭😏🤭🧐
Your integration line is 7-5-8-2.... no 1 is the stresspoint..due to infos from Riso & Hudson..😮😊😁
We are the true hsp 's...😂🎉😆😁😉
Yes
Me and a classmate, for a Russian history course, used to study together. The only thing we connected on was the information in this course. One time, a book unrelated to Russian history (it was The World's Religions by Huston Smith) fell out of my bag. I began explaining what this new book was (it's an incredible holistic view of the world's religions), and he showed discomfort, then betrayal in his face. I said "I'm not attempting to segway into a discussion about religious beliefs." He got up, walked away, and we haven't conversed since.
I think it was a combination of the sudden change in material, and the emotional charge of that material (religion). I'm a 6w5 and I'm pretty sure he was a 5w6.
That wouldn't make me uncomfortable at all. Are you sure you didn't insult him somehow? That's an odd situation
@@MeBe35 I think he misinterpreted my enthusiasm for Smith's book on religious history, as an attempt to convert him to a faith somehow. Honestly though, I'm not sure what I did either, but he was clearly bothered. He left right after, and we were not finished.
That was me, exactly... Tom. Thanks, man. Nerds rock!
Rock on!
I did want to share that as a 5. Recently i have loved using grammarly's AI tool to understand how my message or emails are perceived and being able to use AI to tweak an email to sound more friendly and pleasing. At times, AI provides me with language that I wouldn't have considered.
So, are you telling me that AI is now better at sounding friendly and pleasing than we are? Watch out, robots are taking over the world!
So glad I found your chennel and website!
Welcome aboard!
Some of the negative 5 traits you talk about, like fives not wanting you to explain to them things they don't know, but 5's wanting to explain things to you, I only relate to insofar as it has to do with ADHD and audio processing disorder. I don't relate to it as a 5. And, probably also because of my adhd and audio processing disorder, I have a hard time being asked questions because it forces me to have to stop my mind, think about what they asked me, and then then about how to answer. I really think there must. be a huge range in how fives act and relate to others. I totally relate to the isolation tendencies, and the feeling completely depleted by the world and feeling like I have no inner resources, but when I am out in the world it matters to me very much to make others feel seen and cared about.
Diverse experiences shape Fives, highlighting unique personal challenges.
Yah, that's certainly true. I think it's helpful to consider enneagram and myers briggs together. For example, an enneagram 5/infj is going to have a lot of differences than and enneagram/istj. But I found a lot of this video helpful in just kind of validating my inner experiences that lead me to isolate. So thanks!
I think a lot of 5s escaping is because they are bored with most mundane things. They would rather direct their mind towards a more interesting thought, idea, or subject that feels more relevant and important to them in that moment
Yes, that sounds right.
It seems like the disconnect is often that people in general misunderstand the reasons for actions or vibes. Fives aren't allowed to demand that others accommodate their feelings/emotions/energy, therefore, it's exhausting and frustrating to be expected to accommodate other people's feelings/emotions/energy. If you think about it, it's an illogical and asymmetrical expectation. And fives do it anyway and then have to catch slack as a thank you.
It's true that misunderstandings can lead to a lot of frustration. It's important to communicate openly to bridge the gap.
The thing is you paint some of these things as negatives and I am unconvinced. BTW super accurate.
I appreciate your perspective! It's always interesting to hear different interpretations. Thanks for watching!
Any other 5s out there make it through the whole 25 video playlist in one sitting??? Seems like something only a 5 would do😅
Awesome
When will you do the jobs for type 5s video?
Thanks for the reminder
It’s not that we don’t want to hear about what we don’t know. If it’s something I’m interested in, I would love to hear an expert talk about it. What we hate is when people bore us with things we don’t care about like gossip, celebrity drama, their personal problems, etc.
I totally get what you're saying! It's all about sharing knowledge on topics that truly interest us. Engaging conversations can make all the difference!
“More present to your wife, more present to your kids…”. As if 5’s have those energy vampires around (This has been a type 5 joke)
Haha, I feel you on that one! Gotta watch out for those energy vampires!
😂17:00 well thats why mostly they watching me at work even while eating
Is this a good time?
I just need 20 min of your time.
Do you have a video on how to help get a 5 out of there unhealthy state?
I will work on that...
You made this learning entertaining. Well done sir.
What's your MBTI?
ENFP
You're right. Too much conjecture and imagining. Actual anecdotes are more useful. But thank you!
For me it's not so much that I don't care it's more of I don't understand why my wife gets upset
Communication is key in any relationship, try to understand her perspective and talk things through.