WATCH MORE - So terrible best friends can bring a lot of drama, but what's the behind-the-scenes drama of the "Gay Best Friend" trope? Here's our TAKE on an outdated concept: ruclips.net/video/c89Q6Y226y4/видео.html
Leslie Knope was well intentioned, but often a steam roller who didn’t listen to others. She thought she knew what was best. When Anne called her out on that behavior, it actually helped her fix her romantic relationship with Ben. Each person in a platonic or romantic relationship needs agency in that relationship.
Unfortunately having terrible best friends is accurate for so many people. I had a terrible best friend in highschool and college. She would shame me for having different interests than her, she talked crap about me and passed it off as “ jokes “, everything was about her and she expected all of her friends to drop everything for her, she stopped spending time with me when she got a new bf and a new friend, and she wasn’t there for her when I needed her most. My mom warned me about her but I didn’t listen. I didn’t want to give up the friendship because we were friends for years but my final straw is when she called me selfish for worrying about my family during a hurricane. That’s when I was done. Sometimes it’s really hard to leave a toxic friendship.
I had a friend in my circle who wanted to have sex with another friend in my circle but his GF dumped him a few months prior so he was still heartbroken so the original friend told him I was seeing/making a pass at his ex so he would have sex with her as revenge against his ex. Obviously it ruined our friendship because after it came out that made it up (I never even talked, texted, emailed, sent smoke signals, etc. with his ex) I was pissed that I was never confronted or asked about it. They just believed her with no evidence. This was 10+ years ago so I'm way over it by now, but some people are exceedingly self absorbed and selfish and that's what this video is about.
It doesn't help that films like these model bad friend behaviour for us. In good films the main character develops and becomes a good friend by the end. In contrast, Call The Midwife shows models of good friend and family behaviour. That's why it returns series after series when it was only supposed to last a few series. It can also be a vicious circle. I had a 'friend' who would always have the TV on when I visited to distract herself from my idle chit chat. But the TV ruined conversation as I often said strange things for effect to get her attention. It was difficult to hear each other properly against the noise from TV, so we were talking at each other rather than have a proper dialogue. Eventually, I told her to turn the TV off when I visited so we could have a proper conversation, but her reply was, "My flat, my rules." and then she wondered why I didn't visit her after that for months. Then she pleaded with me to visit her and I told her why so she then said "Why didn't you tell me that. I would have turned the TV off if you asked." I reminded her that I had, but she refused to listen. She denied that I had done that. Our 'friendship' was a cat and mouse game, and I always had to be looking behind me for the latest trick up her sleeve or insult from her. I thought at the time I was strong and could outwit her. She would play music in her car she assumed I hated and when I said I liked it and not to assume I hated a certain artist just because I had not mentioned them before she took the CD out to try and find music in her car I did hate but she couldn't. She would have bought metal albums to play in her car if she knew I didn't like it. I would try to call her on the phone, and she rarely answered. She claimed to have been cut off by her landline provider when she wasn't. She just refused to answer the phone when my name came up. Then she would always leave her mobile phone behind when visiting a son, but I now wonder if that was a lie. So I didn't bother again with her for months, then she sent me texts and emails asking me why I had not been in contact with her and saying how much she missed me. She got a new best friend Fran from MySpace and then I didn't see her for dust. They went on holiday to Spain together and I dodged a bullet there. She complained about Fran's behaviour on holiday on MySpace for Fran and mutual friends to see and Fran then dumped her as a friend complaining that the friendship had become more like a controlling relationship and that Fran was not allowed to speak to other people while on holiday. Then my 'friend' said that Fran was a drunk and flirt in Spain so I replied that even so Fran shouldn't have been complained about in MySpace. Fran said that the friendship with her had been suffocating as she had been expected to dump her other friends just as my 'friend' had dumped me. She was the one going on about what a toxic friend I was.
Princess, you just described everything that happened to me, my so called ex best friends, who I was friends with for years (they were twins) they treated me like crap and did everything that that u described in your coment. I ended up building up the confidence to cut ties with them after high school, I just regretted not doing it sooner or at least stuck up for my self. It was a horrible 1 sided toxic relationship. N we are both better off without that in our lives. And selfish for worrying about your family during a hurricane?! That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard in my life, and I don’t bloody blame u for cutting ties lv. Hope you are a lot happy now and you have a healthy and happy 2024 😊 take care lv xxxx
Jesus Christ that’s terrible. I also had a toxic friend in high school, even my mom didn’t like her and not only her, my other best friend’s mum too didn’t like that girl. So this girl used to sit behind me in class, we used to have limited conversations until the day she got into fight with her then best friend. She would cry everyday, so I would console her. Because she became entirely alone, I had her hangout with me and my best friend. My best friend hated having a third person, so initially both of them would get into lots of disagreements and fights but eventually we three became steady and it was fun. Like I love them and even though they loved each other too, I knew they gave me more preference except, this girl, she would like pick on me. There were little things, she thought she was being kind by being honest but honestly over the years whatever remarks she made has really scarred me and has fucked my head. So it started with saying casual things like, “oh you wear clothes like these on a trip?” I didn’t understand at all what she’s tryna say, she replied that she means they are way too simple. I was this middle schooler who just got into high school, even puberty hit me late, give me a break!! Slowly the remarks about my appearance and clothes became way too frequent like ‘oh your nose is too big’, ‘you always wear loose clothes?’, ‘lol, you are flat’. And you know a very fucked up thing? Whenever my best friend used to make fun of her, somehow she would direct everything to me!! Like ok, even if my friend would say something as insensitive as ‘you got no curves’ she would direct it to me, I’m the one with no curves. Like defend yourself without freaking dragging me!!! And I remember the time I got a new haircut, she was like, “oh maybe now you will get proposals” It’s such a fucked up thing to say and I can’t believe I got happy at that time like yeah validation from men is the only important thing. The worst thing she ever did, have me pit against my own best friend whom I loved very very much. I often felt I was competing against her in terms of beauty. Now I’m a college student and much happier, I’ve developed my own sense of style, I have tons of friends, I’ve got people complimenting me that I’m so pretty, I’m not kidding I’ve got admirers who find it difficult to take their eyes off me, the best compliment I ever received was from this drunk girl in public washroom who stopped me to compliment me, told me I should casually roam around, might give other girls a complex, drop your skincare routine, I was wearing a loose tshirt that day and had greasy hair. But still I struggle with my appearance, I remember going to this birthday party, refused to click pictures cause I thought my hair looked flat, came home and was crying and crying, I was crying for two days. I doubt if all those people who compliment me are being honest or just tryna being nice and I don’t fucking believe anyone until the validation is from that toxic friend.
Thirteen is one of the most raw depictions of the "toxic friend" trope. Or the "codependent friendship." You see the sudden changes in the main character's behavior when she hangs out with someone thats really bad for her. I think what makes this movie even better was learning that the girl who played Evie was also the screenwriter for the film.
In "Easy A", Olive and her initial best friend Rhiannon didn't seem to like each other, but seemed to have been friends since they were little kids, but simply hung out together out of habit. Olive didn't seem to respect Rhiannon, and Rhiannon couldn't tell when Olive was lying, repeatedly calling her a bitch.
I actually rewatched that today! On top of that Rhiannon never seemed to listen and tried to kick her out? Like even if you stop hanging out you'd have some decency
A lot of toxic friendships exist simply because they started in childhood but the friends have outgrown each other. They are proximity friendships gone rogue. Everything I Know About Love was about that. The main character and Birdy had been friends from school and had gone to the same university together and had always shared homes together since leaving school. They hadn't given each other a chance to live separately. But Birdy had outgrown her best friend and as soon as she got her first boyfriend spent most of her spare time with him to escape her and even moved in with him.
Hmm, not sure about you including Devil Wears Prada.. I always thought the friend group attacking Andi was so not right. She was going through something with her job, but she was still there for her friends. She just needed a little bit of support from her friends. Yeah they could tell her about her job, but in a way that is more supportive. They were so rude.
I am guessing bad best friends are the friends that are available. The good thing they do is save their friends from loneliness. Loneliness can be worse than having people like Carrie as friends. The bad friend can also help people tolerate everyday annoyances.
At school, we make proximity friends as it is social death to have no one to hang out with at school, so we make friends with anyone who would have us and then share all our interests with them. But what if you developed separate interests. You get mocked for them. I moved at the age of 12 and took my old interests with me such as ballet and nature but unfortunately found nobody to share those interests with so spent a lot of time alone. I joined Girl Guides to keep in with one set of friends but unfortunately we spent most of the sessions playing party games when I wanted to learn practical skills and outdoor activities so I left.
I still think it happened far less times than it should have, but it was SO satisfying whenever Carrie's friends called her out. My favorite time (in a way, because it's one of the moments her selfishness make kinda hard to watch) is when Stanford asks for her take on his new boyfriend and she says "He's nice" before going right back to whatever high-school drama she's preoccupied with that week. Stanford lets her have it in no uncertain terms, and if he ended the friendship right at that point he'd be entirely in the right. I do like that "...And Just Like That" shows her having matured a lot from that though, even before the major loss that kicks off the show.
it's real. I had a terrible friend in school. She would tell me i was stupid, make rude comments about my hair regina george style. I went to college and got away from her for the first time since kindergarten. summer came and my mom was like oh you should go to the mall and catch up, don't forget your old friends. Half way to the mall i wanted to dump her out of my car. 30 minutes "shopping" (window shopping) I was bored and no longer willing to listen to her BS. I made up some reason to go home early, dropped her off at her house and we haven't hung out since. We're in our 40s now. I have much better friends now. We're old so kids take the front seat and make it hard for folks to hang out, but when we do schedule something, it always feel like my batteries have been recharged, vs the draining hellscape that was my school friend.
We've all been there. I think it's most common when you're young because you don't know how to set boundaries yet. Also, you and your friends are still developing and it's not always clear how either of you will turn out.
I always felt that the ending of Ferris Bueller seemed more tragic than optimistic. Even though Cameron takes the blame for Ferris, he might not be able to completely escape his dad's wrath.
His story a lot more dark that I felt his character would've been more appropriate in The Breakfast Club, too, since that movie goes a bit more in-depth on how those kids became who they were
A fan theory makes Ferris Cameron's imaginary friend and most of the movie takes place in his head to deal with his bedridden sickness. That makes it a lot less tragic. Kids would have loved to fantasize about beating up Rooney.
Yeah I don’t think it should have been in this video, especially without talking about it, lol. Molly was a bad friend for one season, and the entire season was about exploring why she was feeling insecure in their friendship. Not surface level “bad friend” as described in this video (which basically just sounds like standard main character syndrome 😂)
@@ML-qh6dv Issa was growing into a more confident, independent person. Molly feared that this new version of Issa didn’t need her as much, or would outgrow her. Their friendship dynamic has always been “Issa screws up, Molly helps her get it together.” That dynamic was changing, and change can be scary when your sense of worth is tied to the old normal, and you don’t know where you fit into it the new normal. The show is called Insecure, and that doesn’t only refer to Issa’s insecurity. Molly was insecure too. Ultimately, it took losing Issa’s friendship and time to reflect for Molly to accept the new normal and go back to being a good friend. I think this is very different from what this video explores. Molly is not self-absorbed or suffering from main character syndrome. She was actually very focused on the friendship. She was just scared of losing it.
I would say that all of the relationships on Friends are (for the most part) good best friends, but I still really love the bromance between Chandler and Joey. Chandler is constantly paying for Joey's side of things, but never asks for the money back, and when Chandler steals Joey's girlfriend, he stays in the box (😅) to show how bad he feels. But Joey, himbo that he is, still has enough sense to see the things Chandler does for him and is appreciative.
Joey is a himbo, yes, but today we would say he has a lot of emotional intelligence, as does the character of Amy in Sex Education, initially portrayed as the "sweet but dumb" character and then involving into one with lots of intuition and emotional intelligence. Joey is like that, too.
Looking back on it now Ipersonally think that Cory Matthews on Boy Meets World would fit this trope perfectly because if you just look at the surface he seems like a genuinely caring person, a good friend, and a good brother but if you actually look at his actions he’s extremely controlling, he thinks he knows best in every situation, and he gets all pissy if people disagree with him or want to do things any way but his way. I actually have an entire list of things that he did to Shawn specifically that show some of his worst aspects and yet he’s the character we’re supposed to root for in the show.
One of my old bestie passed me today. And i dont regret her and me finishing. Even 15 years later and loads that have happened she still wont own up to how she treated me and even others. As you get older you release its the right thing to part ways.
I think it's easy to take your BF for granted. And sadly the longer you've been friends if not check it can be very toxic because they are practically you're family at a certain point and it's harder to see that they really don't like or use you to make themselves feel better about themselves of course that is the worst scenario. I have been the self-center friend and feel entitled to be upset when my friends didn't wouldn't answer my calls or text, but learned to chill out. You don't do it on purpose, but your so use to holding your feelings in you feel like you friends are the only ones that will have your back and you intentionally take advantage but if you truly care about the people in your life you will try to cut back on complaining and ask them how they are doing once in a while so the friendship isn't one sided.
Is it a message or a reflection of a lot of friendships? I think more than half the people in the comments section had a terrible best friend or good friend so it would more strange to not show it in media.
I think sometimes its the lack of follow up to certain behaviors that makes it difficult to judge if a friendship depicted in a movie/show is meant to be a representation or a message.
My best friend found a better friend, that’s why she was such a bad best friend to me. For years and years I wouldn’t admit it wasnt toxic. I would constantly compare myself to her better friend and end up feeling awful. Worst years of my life 😅
Howard was definitely a bad best friend to Raj in BBT. I love the storyline where raj realized a lot of his low self esteem came from his semi-toxic friendship with Howard. Howard constantly made fun of him and when Raj confronted him, Howard basically rolled his eyes and dismissed Raj’s feelings. I’m glad Raj distanced himself from Howard and changed his hair back to its natural curly state. Even though they reconciled, Howard still never truly took accountability for how he treated his best friend.
I think, in real life, the bad friends sneak into our lives and we have them there without realizing. So I like seeing this trope in movies/tv. Slay the bad friend!! lol Or at least get them to change their feathers.
Just watched Bottoms and holy moly is that an example of a terrible bestie. Like, the absolutely miserable toxic behaviour is just hand waved away. While that movie was pretty intentionally bonkers, other bad teen behaviour and tropes were skewered while the central friendship was played more sincerely and, wowzers, PJ is awful. Talk about main character syndrome.
And the thing is they are both young and have time to be better. I think "Candy" and "Love & Death" and "ACS Impeachment" serve as examples where adult best friends can ruin your life and perhaps the state of the nation and culture
Bridget Jones needed good friends and my fave Mel Hamlett said a bad friend can be as bad as a bad partner. But yeah sometimes some relationships hit speed bumps and can be fixed, others, better off getting an upgrade.
Absolutely, I wish that was included in this video. So many of Bridget's bad decisions are fueled by her friends giving her terrible advice. If she had even one good friend to reason with her, she would have been much better off, but alas, then I suppose we wouldn't have the movies.
I will defend one of the characters shown in this video. Ferris knows that his friend has issues. Throughout Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Cameron drops hints while they're out playing hooky from school. And Cameron stands up to Ferris when he offers to take the blame. A million things could have happened between Cameron and his dad.
I think the terrible best friend trope comes from the fantasy of having a relationship where the person you're with will never leave you no matter what you do or what you act like. It comes from the same place as the fantasy about having a romantic partner who wants you and you don't have to do anything to make yourself look appealing to them. Either wishing there was someone in your life who knows what's best for you even when you can't see what that is, and will bring you on fun adventures, OR wishing there was someone in your life that you could change for the better, and they'll always support you. But that's not everyone's fantasy and In real life any relationship (romantic or platonic) takes work, compromise and a give and take, and they can end when lines are crossed.
I believe that Buffy belongs on this list. Sure, she's the Slayer, and she's saved everyone's life over and over, but on a personal level, she is often so self-obsessed that she's a terrible friend and a terrible sister! Willow gets the worst of it, while being the most caring, supportive friend.
It really shocks me that people were so surprised to see Rory spiral in the last few seasons. Even from season one you can see her entitlement and main character syndrome.
I don't think they fit this trope, (nor did they live long enough for it to matter) but I can't help but think of the toxic relationship Beck and Peach had from the show You. They kind of explained why Peach was the way she was. They did a much better job of showing Beck's history. the death part aside, and all the other problems with Joe, he did manage to pull the veil from Beck's eyes about what Peach was after. I can only speculate how things could have played out in a different setting, that is, on a show they had more time to be their characters.
Although a story always has two sides. In Sex Education, for instance, I didn´t get the impression Otis was being a bad friend. He was always accepting of Eric and his needs and supportive, too. I felt like Eric was just making something else his identity (partying, having fun, embracing his queer persona) that just wasn´t compatible with Otis´ interests and then Eric kept blaming him for not making enough of an effort to connect and align with his interests while Otis simply had other issues going on. They drifted apart for a while and rather than any of them having to take the blame it´s simply a process a natural fluctuation within a friendship. On the other hand Eric, especially towards the end, wasn´t being too empathetic either with regard to Otis´ worries and, at least in my opinion, they both could have handled it better. We usually get the protagonist to be called out for being a bad friend but what about the one calling them out? We don´t see enough of them to evaluate whether that might not be the case on both sides. It´s easier to make a protagonist an extrovert and these kinds of people tend to share their worries/inner world which often makes them appear self-centered. While I aree with your analysis (to an extent), to me it is an oversimilification of a complex interpersonal question.
I remember seeing some theory with _Saved by the Bell_ that saod Zack and Screech stayed friends largely because they befriended each other while young. That seems to fit.
Barney on How l Met Your Mother should be on there. Very entertaining guy. Loved watching him. horrible selfish narcissistic friend. He wasn't the main guy, but in later seasons they made him the centre due to the higher ups liking him so much.
Rory is NOT a bad friend. Not even close. She’s just the main character so we see more of the other characters being there for her than the reverse but Rory is always there for Lane and Paris when she needs to be and if she’s ever not, it’s a storyline in the show and addressed. I will not stand for Rory/Lane friendship slander!
Ya, she has moments of being a bad friend, but we all do. And whenever her friends confront her about it, she feels guilty and tries better. I have a lot of problems with rory and how she treats people, but a bad-bestie is just not one of them
Hannah Horvath from Girls is who I immediately thought of when I saw the title of this video. She is the absolute worst while still having her moments. But booooooy, I was so furious with her for 80% of that series’ run.
Especialy back i the 80's and 90's the abused best friend was usually black or an ethnic character, talking about tokenism. The black girl in "Showgirls" did everything to help her friend to at the end put her in a dangerous situation. I think that this was horrible. specially "not another teen movie" calls out thos trope but more the black janitor than helps the main character win 🙄🙄🙄
I would defend Ferris. He wasn’t the world’s greatest friend but he did offer to take the fall for the destroyed car before Cameron decides to just come clean to his dad. Basically he wasn’t THAT bad. Besides considering Cameron’s line about Ferris saying that Cameron can find a new best friend since the 5th grade? It’s an empty threat by someone who wouldn’t actually dump him like that.
I was the terrible best friend. It wasn't that I purposefully trying to bring people down, I was very naive, immature, childish, and needed a desperate reality and attitude check and to grow the fuck up. The things I did I thought were just normal, average behavior. It wasn't until I started accepting that I'm neurodivergent, and did some intense introspection and soul searching that I was able to see myself different, and that I hurt others, even though I never meant to. I have reached out to people to apologize, and some have wanted nothing to do with me, which is understandable. I'm grateful for the ones that have given me another chance, though 💜
Honestly don't think people's view of Rory as a friend is fair. She is the main character so we see her story, there is no indication she is a bad friend in general, if she was it wouldn't have been a plot point when she was, she is focused on her own things but she isn't rude or abusive like some of the others here. Carrie literally gave out to her friend about not offering to sell their engagement ring so she could buy an apartment. Rory goes out of her way to facilitate Lane's relationship with her first boyfriend and goes to her band's shows in the middle of the night.
Carrie never asked Charlotte to sell her ring. Charlotte chose to do that on her own. Carrie was angry at Charlotte for judging her mistakes when she never judged Charlotte for hers. It was never about the money. If it had been about the money, Carrie would’ve accepted Big’s, Miranda’s, or Samantha’s money when they offered it.
@@karrihart1 I didn't say she asked her to sell her ring I said she gave out to her friend, and yes she doesn't technically say that Charlotte should sell her ring but she does say "why didn't you offer me the money" which would be find if she was short of paying for a meal but not an apartment.
I feel like one of the best examples of “bad friends” was in My Mad Fat Diary between Rae and Chloe. In order to explain that, spoilers below: We spend episodes and episodes hating Chloe because she is hot, kinda mean and condescending towards Rae. BUT through the episodes which we learn Chloe’s struggles we realise what a bad friend Rae actually was. She was so focused on her own problems and puts Chloe on such a pedestal that she never saw Chloe’s struggles. So I think it is about perspective and timing. We are all bad friends here and there. What matters is whether or not we are willing to face our faults and fix them.
Why are the kids on South Park best friends with Cartman anyway? We may never know... That and Angela and Rayanne from My So-Called Life comes to mind for me. Some of this is dealing more with "Main Character Syndrome" which yes, can be excusable (If writers want their protagonist's relationships to be interesting at all). But I think it was funny to show Booksmart, when the way better example of that bad bf scenario is in the movie it was often compared to: Superbad. Anyway, I'll shout out the videogame Life is Strange, which takes a really good, and complicated look at the Bad Best Friend issues between Max and Chloe.
Thank you for acknowledging that Ferris Bueller is a terrible person. I always feel like I'm alone in saying I can't stand movie for this exact reason. But Carrie wasn't trying to use Charlotte for money. She was calling Charlotte our on her hypocrisy and her condescending attitude towards her.
@@trinaq And yet we’re supposed to think Jeanie is the antagonist for calling Ferris’s bullshit out? This is another movie that should be called Gaslight.
I actually think Charlotte was in the right in that situation. Carrie had terrible spending habits throughout the series and never learned from her mistakes. Charlotte saw this and set a boundary. She didn't even say "no" initially; she just didn't offer at all and Carrie had the audacity to get mad at her for not offering. It's not Charlotte's responsibility to solve Carrie's financial problems when the latter has spent $40,000 on Manolo Blahniks alone, and the fact that Carrie was ready to sever their friendship over Charlotte not offering to bail her out shows that Carrie does, in some ways, view her as a source of money, even if only for emergencies.
yeah you haven’t watched in a long time otis is an awful friend for most of the show and it’s emphasized in the last season, don’t waist your time watching it tho it sucks
@@vilerat-m8t oh no, this one I watched a few months ago. Eric tries to put Otis down and mock him pretty much every episode. Also, he always trades Otis for the popular kids.
i wish you guys would’ve included Entourage friendship’s bc they were all (except turtle) kinda bad friends to Vince despite the fact that he basically put the food on their table and the roof over their head while they were bitching most of the time and asking for more. or maybe i’m biased bc vince was so hot and kind idk
My theory on Ferris Bueller's Day Off is that his friend is ultimately, sadly, murdered by his father. The father comes home to see his prize possesion trashed and he just loses it. It goes down as a crime of passion.
Carry standing up for her friends when someone wrongs them. Well first off, everyone needs to be able to take up for themselves. Secondly, what if the so called friend wronged someone else and that someone else is defending themselves against an attack. That's why you shouldn't concern yourself with others problems, because then your inviting yourself into a problem that's not your problem in the first place. I always thought that minding your own business was best. I guess some people don't understand that though.
I'm surprised you went back to Sex and the City...which was horrible...but not Seinfeld...?? No one would be friends with those people in real life. No wonder they all ended up in jail with each other.
im sorry but emily from emily in paris does take french class in the first season and yes she is a terrible friend but why not call out gabriel hes the one with the gf?? obviously that was her best friends boyfriend which is equally as bad but still
@@siddaye That wasn’t aimed at you. That was aimed at the Buzzfeed articles written by people who have clearly never watched the show/have no media literacy.
Well TheTake and MissMojo live to badger and criticise Carrie like it’s their destiny in life and that has equated for most of Carries new found hate on places like TikTok and Instagram. It’s annoying really, especially when she’s meant to be flawed and imperfect
Really? You’re falling in step with the trend of calling Rory from Gilmore Girls a bad best friend and acting like she was “entitled?” Sometimes The Take videos are awfully insightful, so sometimes I forget you make bad videos, too. Rory was a teenager who messed up sometimes. But being an imperfect friend doesn’t make you a bad friend. Your examples in this video of Rory’s transgressions with Lane are all just times when some specific teenage issue had arisen in their friendship. Rory recently started attending a demanding school and also got her first boyfriend, and then has trouble juggling that and giving Lane enough attention. Rory finds out Lane became a cheerleader without telling her, and she’s worried that Lane has changed and that they are growing apart and their friendship is deteriorating. Rory is annoyed that Lane (and everyone else) are disrespecting her by treating her with kid gloves in their attempts to avoid hurting her after her breakup with Dean. None of these examples make Rory “entitled.” Rory always ends up talking to Lane, apologizing when she went wrong, and making up - you know, like friends in real life do. Rory also came through for Lane many times and listened to her problems on lots of occasions. I don’t see why you think Rory treated Lane like Rory was the center of her universe. Then you have the nerve to suggest that she was a bad friend to PARIS?? But - you say - Paris stood up for herself better?! What have you been smoking? Rory had the patience of a saint when it came to Paris! Paris was definitely the bad friend in that relationship because of her deep-seated trust issues. How many times did she “end” her friendship with Rory and declare Rory an enemy over some perceived slight when Rory had actually done nothing wrong? Paris was a mean girl, a bully, who Rory made into a friend through her insane amount of compassion and understanding. It is downright stupid of you to act like Rory was the bad friend in that relationship. I had to stop watching the video there, and I may not be watching more Take videos, honestly.
I think I have figured out why I always think I’m going to like your content but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth in the end. So many of your videos seem to confuse drama and real life. The kind of behavior that makes watchable drama is about conflict. Comedy requires even more extreme behavior and more extreme conflict. It isn’t real life. And that’s the problem with the way you approach a lot of these tropes. You’re judging fictional characters by the standards of real people. So Carrie Bradshaw can’t be a compelling character with rich internal and external conflicts. She has to be a “bad friend.” A version of SitC where Carrie is a good friend would make her … Carrie Bradshaw in And Just Like That actually… a show that is way more boring.
Maybe more common is when the bad bestie is the sidekick instead of the main character. The person the main character has to put up with. Examples: Chuck Fishman on Early Edition, Roger Healy on I Dream of Jeannie, Barney Stinson on How I Met Your Mother, George Costanza on Seinfeld (though that one could also fit the Always Sunny scenario).
I don’t think Ferris Beuller is a bad friend. He’s mischievous. But he’s a great time. He’ll take you to a fancy restaurant, a museum, and lead a parade. If it means your rich dad’s car gets ruined in the process, so be it.
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WATCH MORE - So terrible best friends can bring a lot of drama, but what's the behind-the-scenes drama of the "Gay Best Friend" trope? Here's our TAKE on an outdated concept: ruclips.net/video/c89Q6Y226y4/видео.html
Leslie Knope was well intentioned, but often a steam roller who didn’t listen to others. She thought she knew what was best.
When Anne called her out on that behavior, it actually helped her fix her romantic relationship with Ben. Each person in a platonic or romantic relationship needs agency in that relationship.
Unfortunately having terrible best friends is accurate for so many people. I had a terrible best friend in highschool and college. She would shame me for having different interests than her, she talked crap about me and passed it off as “ jokes “, everything was about her and she expected all of her friends to drop everything for her, she stopped spending time with me when she got a new bf and a new friend, and she wasn’t there for her when I needed her most. My mom warned me about her but I didn’t listen. I didn’t want to give up the friendship because we were friends for years but my final straw is when she called me selfish for worrying about my family during a hurricane. That’s when I was done. Sometimes it’s really hard to leave a toxic friendship.
I had a friend in my circle who wanted to have sex with another friend in my circle but his GF dumped him a few months prior so he was still heartbroken so the original friend told him I was seeing/making a pass at his ex so he would have sex with her as revenge against his ex.
Obviously it ruined our friendship because after it came out that made it up (I never even talked, texted, emailed, sent smoke signals, etc. with his ex) I was pissed that I was never confronted or asked about it. They just believed her with no evidence.
This was 10+ years ago so I'm way over it by now, but some people are exceedingly self absorbed and selfish and that's what this video is about.
It doesn't help that films like these model bad friend behaviour for us. In good films the main character develops and becomes a good friend by the end. In contrast, Call The Midwife shows models of good friend and family behaviour. That's why it returns series after series when it was only supposed to last a few series.
It can also be a vicious circle. I had a 'friend' who would always have the TV on when I visited to distract herself from my idle chit chat. But the TV ruined conversation as I often said strange things for effect to get her attention. It was difficult to hear each other properly against the noise from TV, so we were talking at each other rather than have a proper dialogue. Eventually, I told her to turn the TV off when I visited so we could have a proper conversation, but her reply was, "My flat, my rules." and then she wondered why I didn't visit her after that for months. Then she pleaded with me to visit her and I told her why so she then said "Why didn't you tell me that. I would have turned the TV off if you asked." I reminded her that I had, but she refused to listen. She denied that I had done that.
Our 'friendship' was a cat and mouse game, and I always had to be looking behind me for the latest trick up her sleeve or insult from her. I thought at the time I was strong and could outwit her. She would play music in her car she assumed I hated and when I said I liked it and not to assume I hated a certain artist just because I had not mentioned them before she took the CD out to try and find music in her car I did hate but she couldn't. She would have bought metal albums to play in her car if she knew I didn't like it.
I would try to call her on the phone, and she rarely answered. She claimed to have been cut off by her landline provider when she wasn't. She just refused to answer the phone when my name came up. Then she would always leave her mobile phone behind when visiting a son, but I now wonder if that was a lie. So I didn't bother again with her for months, then she sent me texts and emails asking me why I had not been in contact with her and saying how much she missed me.
She got a new best friend Fran from MySpace and then I didn't see her for dust. They went on holiday to Spain together and I dodged a bullet there. She complained about Fran's behaviour on holiday on MySpace for Fran and mutual friends to see and Fran then dumped her as a friend complaining that the friendship had become more like a controlling relationship and that Fran was not allowed to speak to other people while on holiday. Then my 'friend' said that Fran was a drunk and flirt in Spain so I replied that even so Fran shouldn't have been complained about in MySpace. Fran said that the friendship with her had been suffocating as she had been expected to dump her other friends just as my 'friend' had dumped me.
She was the one going on about what a toxic friend I was.
Princess, you just described everything that happened to me, my so called ex best friends, who I was friends with for years (they were twins) they treated me like crap and did everything that that u described in your coment. I ended up building up the confidence to cut ties with them after high school, I just regretted not doing it sooner or at least stuck up for my self. It was a horrible 1 sided toxic relationship. N we are both better off without that in our lives. And selfish for worrying about your family during a hurricane?! That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard in my life, and I don’t bloody blame u for cutting ties lv. Hope you are a lot happy now and you have a healthy and happy 2024 😊 take care lv xxxx
Jesus Christ that’s terrible. I also had a toxic friend in high school, even my mom didn’t like her and not only her, my other best friend’s mum too didn’t like that girl. So this girl used to sit behind me in class, we used to have limited conversations until the day she got into fight with her then best friend. She would cry everyday, so I would console her. Because she became entirely alone, I had her hangout with me and my best friend. My best friend hated having a third person, so initially both of them would get into lots of disagreements and fights but eventually we three became steady and it was fun. Like I love them and even though they loved each other too, I knew they gave me more preference except, this girl, she would like pick on me. There were little things, she thought she was being kind by being honest but honestly over the years whatever remarks she made has really scarred me and has fucked my head. So it started with saying casual things like, “oh you wear clothes like these on a trip?” I didn’t understand at all what she’s tryna say, she replied that she means they are way too simple. I was this middle schooler who just got into high school, even puberty hit me late, give me a break!! Slowly the remarks about my appearance and clothes became way too frequent like ‘oh your nose is too big’, ‘you always wear loose clothes?’, ‘lol, you are flat’. And you know a very fucked up thing? Whenever my best friend used to make fun of her, somehow she would direct everything to me!! Like ok, even if my friend would say something as insensitive as ‘you got no curves’ she would direct it to me, I’m the one with no curves. Like defend yourself without freaking dragging me!!! And I remember the time I got a new haircut, she was like, “oh maybe now you will get proposals” It’s such a fucked up thing to say and I can’t believe I got happy at that time like yeah validation from men is the only important thing. The worst thing she ever did, have me pit against my own best friend whom I loved very very much. I often felt I was competing against her in terms of beauty. Now I’m a college student and much happier, I’ve developed my own sense of style, I have tons of friends, I’ve got people complimenting me that I’m so pretty, I’m not kidding I’ve got admirers who find it difficult to take their eyes off me, the best compliment I ever received was from this drunk girl in public washroom who stopped me to compliment me, told me I should casually roam around, might give other girls a complex, drop your skincare routine, I was wearing a loose tshirt that day and had greasy hair. But still I struggle with my appearance, I remember going to this birthday party, refused to click pictures cause I thought my hair looked flat, came home and was crying and crying, I was crying for two days. I doubt if all those people who compliment me are being honest or just tryna being nice and I don’t fucking believe anyone until the validation is from that toxic friend.
Thirteen is one of the most raw depictions of the "toxic friend" trope. Or the "codependent friendship." You see the sudden changes in the main character's behavior when she hangs out with someone thats really bad for her. I think what makes this movie even better was learning that the girl who played Evie was also the screenwriter for the film.
In "Easy A", Olive and her initial best friend Rhiannon didn't seem to like each other, but seemed to have been friends since they were little kids, but simply hung out together out of habit. Olive didn't seem to respect Rhiannon, and Rhiannon couldn't tell when Olive was lying, repeatedly calling her a bitch.
that’s so sad
I actually rewatched that today! On top of that Rhiannon never seemed to listen and tried to kick her out? Like even if you stop hanging out you'd have some decency
A lot of toxic friendships exist simply because they started in childhood but the friends have outgrown each other. They are proximity friendships gone rogue. Everything I Know About Love was about that. The main character and Birdy had been friends from school and had gone to the same university together and had always shared homes together since leaving school. They hadn't given each other a chance to live separately. But Birdy had outgrown her best friend and as soon as she got her first boyfriend spent most of her spare time with him to escape her and even moved in with him.
Hmm, not sure about you including Devil Wears Prada.. I always thought the friend group attacking Andi was so not right. She was going through something with her job, but she was still there for her friends. She just needed a little bit of support from her friends. Yeah they could tell her about her job, but in a way that is more supportive. They were so rude.
Yes true
Totally true, but I thought this is why they included them? It's very obvious that they were bad friends and very biased!
@@phoedrita i thought they were hinting that Andi was the bad friend. That's how I've seen it portrayed before as well. Poor thing. Lol
Mia’s friend from the Princess Diaries angered me so much.
Her only personality trait was “I’m a person who wears black”
@sparklefairy34 either way, that line was awful, just dull exposition
I am guessing bad best friends are the friends that are available. The good thing they do is save their friends from loneliness. Loneliness can be worse than having people like Carrie as friends. The bad friend can also help people tolerate everyday annoyances.
At school, we make proximity friends as it is social death to have no one to hang out with at school, so we make friends with anyone who would have us and then share all our interests with them. But what if you developed separate interests. You get mocked for them.
I moved at the age of 12 and took my old interests with me such as ballet and nature but unfortunately found nobody to share those interests with so spent a lot of time alone. I joined Girl Guides to keep in with one set of friends but unfortunately we spent most of the sessions playing party games when I wanted to learn practical skills and outdoor activities so I left.
I still think it happened far less times than it should have, but it was SO satisfying whenever Carrie's friends called her out. My favorite time (in a way, because it's one of the moments her selfishness make kinda hard to watch) is when Stanford asks for her take on his new boyfriend and she says "He's nice" before going right back to whatever high-school drama she's preoccupied with that week. Stanford lets her have it in no uncertain terms, and if he ended the friendship right at that point he'd be entirely in the right.
I do like that "...And Just Like That" shows her having matured a lot from that though, even before the major loss that kicks off the show.
it's real. I had a terrible friend in school. She would tell me i was stupid, make rude comments about my hair regina george style. I went to college and got away from her for the first time since kindergarten. summer came and my mom was like oh you should go to the mall and catch up, don't forget your old friends. Half way to the mall i wanted to dump her out of my car. 30 minutes "shopping" (window shopping) I was bored and no longer willing to listen to her BS. I made up some reason to go home early, dropped her off at her house and we haven't hung out since. We're in our 40s now. I have much better friends now. We're old so kids take the front seat and make it hard for folks to hang out, but when we do schedule something, it always feel like my batteries have been recharged, vs the draining hellscape that was my school friend.
Good for you for dumping this person. I made bad choices myself so I can relate.
Yessss! The trope that's never mentioned, but was a toxic example for so many of us!
We've all been there. I think it's most common when you're young because you don't know how to set boundaries yet. Also, you and your friends are still developing and it's not always clear how either of you will turn out.
I always felt that the ending of Ferris Bueller seemed more tragic than optimistic. Even though Cameron takes the blame for Ferris, he might not be able to completely escape his dad's wrath.
His story a lot more dark that I felt his character would've been more appropriate in The Breakfast Club, too, since that movie goes a bit more in-depth on how those kids became who they were
Cameron: Ferris I told my dad about the car and he beat the shit out of me.
Ferris:…..So what you’re saying is you can’t pick me up tonight?
A million things could have happened between Cameron and his dad.
A fan theory makes Ferris Cameron's imaginary friend and most of the movie takes place in his head to deal with his bedridden sickness. That makes it a lot less tragic. Kids would have loved to fantasize about beating up Rooney.
@@josefk7437 That would make sense. Cameron hates himself so of course he would fever dream a best friend who treats him like shit.
I would've liked more commentary on Molly and Issa from Insecure. Their friendship saw many changes
Yeah I don’t think it should have been in this video, especially without talking about it, lol. Molly was a bad friend for one season, and the entire season was about exploring why she was feeling insecure in their friendship. Not surface level “bad friend” as described in this video (which basically just sounds like standard main character syndrome 😂)
Same! Molly was a terrible friend and even the show never really explained it enough for me. I would have liked someone to shed some light on it!
@@ML-qh6dv Issa was growing into a more confident, independent person. Molly feared that this new version of Issa didn’t need her as much, or would outgrow her. Their friendship dynamic has always been “Issa screws up, Molly helps her get it together.” That dynamic was changing, and change can be scary when your sense of worth is tied to the old normal, and you don’t know where you fit into it the new normal.
The show is called Insecure, and that doesn’t only refer to Issa’s insecurity. Molly was insecure too. Ultimately, it took losing Issa’s friendship and time to reflect for Molly to accept the new normal and go back to being a good friend. I think this is very different from what this video explores. Molly is not self-absorbed or suffering from main character syndrome. She was actually very focused on the friendship. She was just scared of losing it.
I would say that all of the relationships on Friends are (for the most part) good best friends, but I still really love the bromance between Chandler and Joey.
Chandler is constantly paying for Joey's side of things, but never asks for the money back, and when Chandler steals Joey's girlfriend, he stays in the box (😅) to show how bad he feels.
But Joey, himbo that he is, still has enough sense to see the things Chandler does for him and is appreciative.
Joey is a himbo, yes, but today we would say he has a lot of emotional intelligence, as does the character of Amy in Sex Education, initially portrayed as the "sweet but dumb" character and then involving into one with lots of intuition and emotional intelligence. Joey is like that, too.
Looking back on it now Ipersonally think that Cory Matthews on Boy Meets World would fit this trope perfectly because if you just look at the surface he seems like a genuinely caring person, a good friend, and a good brother but if you actually look at his actions he’s extremely controlling, he thinks he knows best in every situation, and he gets all pissy if people disagree with him or want to do things any way but his way. I actually have an entire list of things that he did to Shawn specifically that show some of his worst aspects and yet he’s the character we’re supposed to root for in the show.
One of my old bestie passed me today. And i dont regret her and me finishing. Even 15 years later and loads that have happened she still wont own up to how she treated me and even others. As you get older you release its the right thing to part ways.
I think it's easy to take your BF for granted. And sadly the longer you've been friends if not check it can be very toxic because they are practically you're family at a certain point and it's harder to see that they really don't like or use you to make themselves feel better about themselves of course that is the worst scenario. I have been the self-center friend and feel entitled to be upset when my friends didn't wouldn't answer my calls or text, but learned to chill out.
You don't do it on purpose, but your so use to holding your feelings in you feel like you friends are the only ones that will have your back and you intentionally take advantage but if you truly care about the people in your life you will try to cut back on complaining and ask them how they are doing once in a while so the friendship isn't one sided.
Is it a message or a reflection of a lot of friendships?
I think more than half the people in the comments section had a terrible best friend or good friend so it would more strange to not show it in media.
I think sometimes its the lack of follow up to certain behaviors that makes it difficult to judge if a friendship depicted in a movie/show is meant to be a representation or a message.
My best friend found a better friend, that’s why she was such a bad best friend to me. For years and years I wouldn’t admit it wasnt toxic. I would constantly compare myself to her better friend and end up feeling awful. Worst years of my life 😅
Howard was definitely a bad best friend to Raj in BBT. I love the storyline where raj realized a lot of his low self esteem came from his semi-toxic friendship with Howard.
Howard constantly made fun of him and when Raj confronted him, Howard basically rolled his eyes and dismissed Raj’s feelings. I’m glad Raj distanced himself from Howard and changed his hair back to its natural curly state.
Even though they reconciled, Howard still never truly took accountability for how he treated his best friend.
I think, in real life, the bad friends sneak into our lives and we have them there without realizing. So I like seeing this trope in movies/tv. Slay the bad friend!! lol Or at least get them to change their feathers.
Just watched Bottoms and holy moly is that an example of a terrible bestie. Like, the absolutely miserable toxic behaviour is just hand waved away. While that movie was pretty intentionally bonkers, other bad teen behaviour and tropes were skewered while the central friendship was played more sincerely and, wowzers, PJ is awful. Talk about main character syndrome.
I would say that Dijonay Jones and Dodie Bishop are the worst BFFS so far
And the thing is they are both young and have time to be better. I think "Candy" and "Love & Death" and "ACS Impeachment" serve as examples where adult best friends can ruin your life and perhaps the state of the nation and culture
@@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 They've also had moments where they try to be better. Everyone tries to box them as always the bad one when they're not
Bridget Jones needed good friends and my fave Mel Hamlett said a bad friend can be as bad as a bad partner.
But yeah sometimes some relationships hit speed bumps and can be fixed, others, better off getting an upgrade.
Agreed, Shazzer, Jude and Tom all seemed to be great friends to Bridget, even though they all have their own quirks.
@@trinaq I actually have my critiques of them (especially Jude and the Smug Marrieds)
Your profile pic actually reminds me about how awful Dodie was to Ginger on As Told by Ginger
Absolutely, I wish that was included in this video. So many of Bridget's bad decisions are fueled by her friends giving her terrible advice. If she had even one good friend to reason with her, she would have been much better off, but alas, then I suppose we wouldn't have the movies.
@@lucydonohue4919 Plus my beef is there with the Smug Marrieds especially Magda. Why is Magda letting these people be rude to Bridget?
I will defend one of the characters shown in this video. Ferris knows that his friend has issues. Throughout Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Cameron drops hints while they're out playing hooky from school. And Cameron stands up to Ferris when he offers to take the blame. A million things could have happened between Cameron and his dad.
I agree. The entire point of the movie was to cheer Cameron up and he offered to take the blame.
I think the terrible best friend trope comes from the fantasy of having a relationship where the person you're with will never leave you no matter what you do or what you act like. It comes from the same place as the fantasy about having a romantic partner who wants you and you don't have to do anything to make yourself look appealing to them.
Either wishing there was someone in your life who knows what's best for you even when you can't see what that is, and will bring you on fun adventures, OR wishing there was someone in your life that you could change for the better, and they'll always support you.
But that's not everyone's fantasy and In real life any relationship (romantic or platonic) takes work, compromise and a give and take, and they can end when lines are crossed.
That's pretty insightful, and I think you're really on to something with that theory.
I believe that Buffy belongs on this list. Sure, she's the Slayer, and she's saved everyone's life over and over, but on a personal level, she is often so self-obsessed that she's a terrible friend and a terrible sister! Willow gets the worst of it, while being the most caring, supportive friend.
Expected to see Dawson in this from the thumbnail, only reason why I watched this video. Disappointed that he was nowhere in it.
I think after this video essay, we’re all going to check in on our friends.
Dodi from ‘As Told by Ginger’ is one of the worst best friends.
So I've been told lately. Same could be said of some of Penny Proud's friends.
Penny Proud's friends were horrible!!! @@CrimsonNineTail
This is why I didn’t watch Gilmore Girls. I watched a few episodes and wanted Rory to get over herself
It really shocks me that people were so surprised to see Rory spiral in the last few seasons. Even from season one you can see her entitlement and main character syndrome.
“This boy finna give me high blood pressure.” ~Cameron every time he sees Ferris
I like the "Fight Club" explanation of Ferris Buehler, where Cameron manifests a doppelganger because his ego is too weak to stand up to his father...
I like that theory
I don't think they fit this trope, (nor did they live long enough for it to matter) but I can't help but think of the toxic relationship Beck and Peach had from the show You. They kind of explained why Peach was the way she was. They did a much better job of showing Beck's history. the death part aside, and all the other problems with Joe, he did manage to pull the veil from Beck's eyes about what Peach was after. I can only speculate how things could have played out in a different setting, that is, on a show they had more time to be their characters.
"Real friends stab you in the front."
Although a story always has two sides.
In Sex Education, for instance, I didn´t get the impression Otis was being a bad friend. He was always accepting of Eric and his needs and supportive, too.
I felt like Eric was just making something else his identity (partying, having fun, embracing his queer persona) that just wasn´t compatible with Otis´ interests and then Eric kept blaming him for not making enough of an effort to connect and align with his interests while Otis simply had other issues going on.
They drifted apart for a while and rather than any of them having to take the blame it´s simply a process a natural fluctuation within a friendship.
On the other hand Eric, especially towards the end, wasn´t being too empathetic either with regard to Otis´ worries and, at least in my opinion, they both could have handled it better.
We usually get the protagonist to be called out for being a bad friend but what about the one calling them out?
We don´t see enough of them to evaluate whether that might not be the case on both sides.
It´s easier to make a protagonist an extrovert and these kinds of people tend to share their worries/inner world which often makes them appear self-centered.
While I aree with your analysis (to an extent), to me it is an oversimilification of a complex interpersonal question.
I remember seeing some theory with _Saved by the Bell_ that saod Zack and Screech stayed friends largely because they befriended each other while young. That seems to fit.
Just finally watched The Banshees Of Inisherin so watching this video is especially amusing
Barney on How l Met Your Mother should be on there. Very entertaining guy. Loved watching him. horrible selfish narcissistic friend. He wasn't the main guy, but in later seasons they made him the centre due to the higher ups liking him so much.
Dawson begins as hero, he finishes as best friend trope.
Rory is NOT a bad friend. Not even close. She’s just the main character so we see more of the other characters being there for her than the reverse but Rory is always there for Lane and Paris when she needs to be and if she’s ever not, it’s a storyline in the show and addressed. I will not stand for Rory/Lane friendship slander!
Ya, she has moments of being a bad friend, but we all do. And whenever her friends confront her about it, she feels guilty and tries better. I have a lot of problems with rory and how she treats people, but a bad-bestie is just not one of them
Lily Moskowitz was never there for Mia
Book Lily was so much worse. It took several books, but it is so satisfying when friendship finally ends
Oop, not ya'll doing a terrible best friend take and NOT including Zach Morris😂😂😂
Sing it with me: "Zach Morris is traaash!"
@@alyzu4755 😄😄😄😄
They need a betraying family, friends, class, and boy band tropes. That betrayed people that truly loved them. 😢😢😢😢😢
🎵 _Let my Cameron gooooo_ 🎵
One of the worst best friends on tv was Cece from shake it up.
Hannah Horvath from Girls is who I immediately thought of when I saw the title of this video. She is the absolute worst while still having her moments. But booooooy, I was so furious with her for 80% of that series’ run.
Especialy back i the 80's and 90's the abused best friend was usually black or an ethnic character, talking about tokenism. The black girl in "Showgirls" did everything to help her friend to at the end put her in a dangerous situation. I think that this was horrible. specially "not another teen movie" calls out thos trope but more the black janitor than helps the main character win 🙄🙄🙄
I loved Cameron’s character so much. His story is so deep
I would defend Ferris. He wasn’t the world’s greatest friend but he did offer to take the fall for the destroyed car before Cameron decides to just come clean to his dad.
Basically he wasn’t THAT bad. Besides considering Cameron’s line about Ferris saying that Cameron can find a new best friend since the 5th grade? It’s an empty threat by someone who wouldn’t actually dump him like that.
Save Ferris.
Doodie from As Told By Ginger was the worst best friend ever.
Suprised that Jennifer's Body isnt mentioned here.
Willow and Xander to Buffy from season 3 on. Xander was literally only friends with Buffy so he could get in her pant originally.
I was the terrible best friend. It wasn't that I purposefully trying to bring people down, I was very naive, immature, childish, and needed a desperate reality and attitude check and to grow the fuck up. The things I did I thought were just normal, average behavior. It wasn't until I started accepting that I'm neurodivergent, and did some intense introspection and soul searching that I was able to see myself different, and that I hurt others, even though I never meant to. I have reached out to people to apologize, and some have wanted nothing to do with me, which is understandable. I'm grateful for the ones that have given me another chance, though 💜
Honestly don't think people's view of Rory as a friend is fair. She is the main character so we see her story, there is no indication she is a bad friend in general, if she was it wouldn't have been a plot point when she was, she is focused on her own things but she isn't rude or abusive like some of the others here.
Carrie literally gave out to her friend about not offering to sell their engagement ring so she could buy an apartment.
Rory goes out of her way to facilitate Lane's relationship with her first boyfriend and goes to her band's shows in the middle of the night.
Carrie never asked Charlotte to sell her ring. Charlotte chose to do that on her own. Carrie was angry at Charlotte for judging her mistakes when she never judged Charlotte for hers. It was never about the money. If it had been about the money, Carrie would’ve accepted Big’s, Miranda’s, or Samantha’s money when they offered it.
Rory's no Ferris Bueller. That's for sure. It was a plot point like once.
@@karrihart1 I didn't say she asked her to sell her ring I said she gave out to her friend, and yes she doesn't technically say that Charlotte should sell her ring but she does say "why didn't you offer me the money" which would be find if she was short of paying for a meal but not an apartment.
I feel like one of the best examples of “bad friends” was in My Mad Fat Diary between Rae and Chloe. In order to explain that, spoilers below:
We spend episodes and episodes hating Chloe because she is hot, kinda mean and condescending towards Rae. BUT through the episodes which we learn Chloe’s struggles we realise what a bad friend Rae actually was. She was so focused on her own problems and puts Chloe on such a pedestal that she never saw Chloe’s struggles. So I think it is about perspective and timing. We are all bad friends here and there. What matters is whether or not we are willing to face our faults and fix them.
Why are the kids on South Park best friends with Cartman anyway? We may never know...
That and Angela and Rayanne from My So-Called Life comes to mind for me.
Some of this is dealing more with "Main Character Syndrome" which yes, can be excusable (If writers want their protagonist's relationships to be interesting at all). But I think it was funny to show Booksmart, when the way better example of that bad bf scenario is in the movie it was often compared to: Superbad.
Anyway, I'll shout out the videogame Life is Strange, which takes a really good, and complicated look at the Bad Best Friend issues between Max and Chloe.
I can think of tons Peter Griffin, Eric Cartman, Dijone Jones.
Anyone watch Drop Dead Diva? I believe Stacy disgusted me as a "best friend" at least a couple of times per season.
How is a bad bestie that gets called out different from an all-around toxic friend altogether?
Rory apologizes for this behavior, btw.
I'm still waiting for people to call out how terrible the other girls treated Chrissy in "Now and Then"
I haven’t heard that movie in 20+ years they did treat her badly
Thank you for acknowledging that Ferris Bueller is a terrible person. I always feel like I'm alone in saying I can't stand movie for this exact reason.
But Carrie wasn't trying to use Charlotte for money. She was calling Charlotte our on her hypocrisy and her condescending attitude towards her.
Agreed, Ferris was manipulative, and is implied to do more harm than good, and might get Cameron in more trouble with his dad.
@@trinaq And yet we’re supposed to think Jeanie is the antagonist for calling Ferris’s bullshit out? This is another movie that should be called Gaslight.
@@karrihart1Antagonist does not equal bad guy or villain. Antagonist is simply the one who obstructs the protagonist's goals.
@@JohnZ117 I repeat, the movie wants us to find Jeanie annoying or a “villain” because she calls out Ferris’s bullshit.
I actually think Charlotte was in the right in that situation. Carrie had terrible spending habits throughout the series and never learned from her mistakes. Charlotte saw this and set a boundary. She didn't even say "no" initially; she just didn't offer at all and Carrie had the audacity to get mad at her for not offering. It's not Charlotte's responsibility to solve Carrie's financial problems when the latter has spent $40,000 on Manolo Blahniks alone, and the fact that Carrie was ready to sever their friendship over Charlotte not offering to bail her out shows that Carrie does, in some ways, view her as a source of money, even if only for emergencies.
Eric is the bad best friend for Otis, not the opposite.
Also, maybe I haven't watched it in a long timr, but I love Ferris and Cameron.
yeah you haven’t watched in a long time otis is an awful friend for most of the show and it’s emphasized in the last season, don’t waist your time watching it tho it sucks
@@vilerat-m8t oh no, this one I watched a few months ago. Eric tries to put Otis down and mock him pretty much every episode. Also, he always trades Otis for the popular kids.
now that i think about you're pretty much right, i guess they deserved each other in this season @@vitor8048
6:15 wrong cutaway used. This scene was of Charlotte comforting Carrie when she finds out Big married Natasha
thought for sure that I'd see Frances Ha in this video when I clicked it. oh well~
justice for Lane my girl deserved better at every single level of her life
i wish you guys would’ve included Entourage friendship’s bc they were all (except turtle) kinda bad friends to Vince despite the fact that he basically put the food on their table and the roof over their head while they were bitching most of the time and asking for more. or maybe i’m biased bc vince was so hot and kind idk
My theory on Ferris Bueller's Day Off is that his friend is ultimately, sadly, murdered by his father. The father comes home to see his prize possesion trashed and he just loses it. It goes down as a crime of passion.
Ferris takes it in stride.....of course.
Although dated, I think this video should have mentioned Kelly Taylor from 90210, one of the worst best friends of the 90s.
Carry standing up for her friends when someone wrongs them.
Well first off, everyone needs to be able to take up for themselves. Secondly, what if the so called friend wronged someone else and that someone else is defending themselves against an attack.
That's why you shouldn't concern yourself with others problems, because then your inviting yourself into a problem that's not your problem in the first place. I always thought that minding your own business was best. I guess some people don't understand that though.
Bad take. Not caring about others is selfish and cowardly.
Jimmy and Kim from Better Call Saul better be on here.
I'm surprised you went back to Sex and the City...which was horrible...but not Seinfeld...?? No one would be friends with those people in real life. No wonder they all ended up in jail with each other.
I hated how cynical and sarcastic they were
im sorry but emily from emily in paris does take french class in the first season and yes she is a terrible friend but why not call out gabriel hes the one with the gf?? obviously that was her best friends boyfriend which is equally as bad but still
A lot of these bad friends are not bad friends. They just don't know
If you lie to me. That on you not me.
House is horrible friend to Wilson in House M.D yet they are best friends and House is willing to do everything for him
Rory wasn't a great friend, but she doesn't deserve how she gets treated. Guys keep breaking up with her in the worst ways.
Where is the strange message part?
Carrie doesnt constantly go to charlotte for money where did that come from
The writing on SATC was constantly aware of Carrie’s faults and her issues. Did the people who criticize the show even watch it?
@@karrihart1 i don't care about others I'm focusing on what I saw and watched and yes I did and still do watch the series hell i have the series
@@siddaye That wasn’t aimed at you. That was aimed at the Buzzfeed articles written by people who have clearly never watched the show/have no media literacy.
@@karrihart1 oh okay my apologies
Well TheTake and MissMojo live to badger and criticise Carrie like it’s their destiny in life and that has equated for most of Carries new found hate on places like TikTok and Instagram. It’s annoying really, especially when she’s meant to be flawed and imperfect
Devi from Never have I ever is a bad friend.
Why is Dawson in the thumbnail if you don't talk about him.... 🙄
Nobody gonna bring up Penny's friends from The Proud Family?
Really? You’re falling in step with the trend of calling Rory from Gilmore Girls a bad best friend and acting like she was “entitled?” Sometimes The Take videos are awfully insightful, so sometimes I forget you make bad videos, too.
Rory was a teenager who messed up sometimes. But being an imperfect friend doesn’t make you a bad friend. Your examples in this video of Rory’s transgressions with Lane are all just times when some specific teenage issue had arisen in their friendship. Rory recently started attending a demanding school and also got her first boyfriend, and then has trouble juggling that and giving Lane enough attention. Rory finds out Lane became a cheerleader without telling her, and she’s worried that Lane has changed and that they are growing apart and their friendship is deteriorating. Rory is annoyed that Lane (and everyone else) are disrespecting her by treating her with kid gloves in their attempts to avoid hurting her after her breakup with Dean. None of these examples make Rory “entitled.” Rory always ends up talking to Lane, apologizing when she went wrong, and making up - you know, like friends in real life do. Rory also came through for Lane many times and listened to her problems on lots of occasions. I don’t see why you think Rory treated Lane like Rory was the center of her universe.
Then you have the nerve to suggest that she was a bad friend to PARIS?? But - you say - Paris stood up for herself better?! What have you been smoking? Rory had the patience of a saint when it came to Paris! Paris was definitely the bad friend in that relationship because of her deep-seated trust issues. How many times did she “end” her friendship with Rory and declare Rory an enemy over some perceived slight when Rory had actually done nothing wrong? Paris was a mean girl, a bully, who Rory made into a friend through her insane amount of compassion and understanding. It is downright stupid of you to act like Rory was the bad friend in that relationship. I had to stop watching the video there, and I may not be watching more Take videos, honestly.
I think I have figured out why I always think I’m going to like your content but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth in the end. So many of your videos seem to confuse drama and real life. The kind of behavior that makes watchable drama is about conflict. Comedy requires even more extreme behavior and more extreme conflict. It isn’t real life. And that’s the problem with the way you approach a lot of these tropes.
You’re judging fictional characters by the standards of real people. So Carrie Bradshaw can’t be a compelling character with rich internal and external conflicts. She has to be a “bad friend.” A version of SitC where Carrie is a good friend would make her … Carrie Bradshaw in And Just Like That actually… a show that is way more boring.
Shepherd's Chapel Network !!!!!!! Do you know where America is mentioned in the Bible ???????
Maybe more common is when the bad bestie is the sidekick instead of the main character. The person the main character has to put up with. Examples: Chuck Fishman on Early Edition, Roger Healy on I Dream of Jeannie, Barney Stinson on How I Met Your Mother, George Costanza on Seinfeld (though that one could also fit the Always Sunny scenario).
The music is louder than the narrator at times
Cristina yang
I don’t think Ferris Beuller is a bad friend. He’s mischievous. But he’s a great time. He’ll take you to a fancy restaurant, a museum, and lead a parade. If it means your rich dad’s car gets ruined in the process, so be it.
first commet
At some point your “take”s need to grow out of the dull “good” and “bad” cliches. Stop using those words and you’ll see.
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