I was bullied in my late primary school & high school years because I was obese, quiet and from a working class background. Before it started I was a top notch student, extremely good at math and languages. When the bullying started and continued, my grades became worse and worse, I could not concentrate and was constantly re-living those traumatic experiences. This has permanently ruined my self-esteem, I feel sad and depressed quite often and I struggle every day.
I'm sorry to hear that :( Bullying is so underated in what it can do to us in the long-term. I still have depressive episodes, and eating disorder and zero self-esteem, and I finished school years ago. I had an abusive homelife, and I can honestly say that the damage done to me by fellow students was bad enough that going home to a violent alcoholic was less terrifying than being there. Zero tolerance policies are the only way forward, but when the teachers are often also bullies, I'm not hopeful.
I was taught by my parents that sex was disgusting & I should always be cautious of attraction to the opposite sex. At around 17, I found out my parents have very kinky sex lives and are also into swapping, have cheated on each other multiple times & much more. The hypocrisy of it all was so incredibly overwhelming for me that I was left with severe intimacy issues. I've pushed away so many girls in my life, and also been depressed about it. I just have no words for this fucked upness
so many parents, people are like this. extreme, polarizing and unnatural values (that always confuse and dements a childs perspective)... are almost always if not always being some sort of self defense, shame protection system of the parents life-choices + experiences (or in many times, lack of)
@sarahbeatty2419 your story breaks my heart. I wish I was there to protect you and kuro. I'm researching complex ptsd during development years because my best friend tried to commit suicide because of it. He opened up to me and told me what happened (sexually abused) and it crushed me because I could feel his pain as he opened up. And I want to be there to help any way that I can. Any advice about how I can help my friend is greatly appreciated. I wish you all the best while you heal and overcome your adversity!
I get the impression that 'regular' therapists who didn't specialise in trauma have very little awareness of the complex, more "invisible" forms of trauma.
@@fairyjuggalo8368 What about them? I went through trauma and I am now finishing a degree in psychology and plan to attend a masters program in order to become a licensed counselor. I think I will be more suited to assist those who've experienced trauma.
Typically children will experience trauma at some point, this is normal. However if you live in a home where you never feel safe, or you can't turn to either of you parents, and you live in dread every single day for them to come home because they will abuse you, it really damages a person.
I told a psychologist about my mother's uncontrollable fits of rage,verbal abuse and lashings with a belt as a kid as it has deeply effected me, he told me even though it wasn't right it was normal for kids to get that in the 70s and 80s and I just need to write a letter to her about it,but don't send it and that will fix the issue .One thing I have learnt from this is never trust a textbook psychologist with no experience of hardship or suffering, and never step into their office again.
They really dont understand, as i dont think you can unless youve been through it. Or else it would take a very high degree of empathy, as 'professsionals' they are trained not to become empathically attached to clients, as somewhat understandably if they developed that empathic connection with multiple clients they themselves would likely burn out/become depressed. I still go to a counsellor who is very kind and non-judgemental and it has value for me. Its just they can only understand so far. There is an excellent book you should read: CPTSD form surviving to thriving by Pete Walker. Its available on amazon. It was like the first time felt someone FULLY understood the difficulty. Be well!!
@@sawtoothiandi Hey thanks for replying. Yes I think you are definately right about shrinks lacking empathy and I guess the need to keep themselves sane at the same time.For me when I went there I felt extremely vulnerable and I'm highly sensitive to any perceived or real regection,and criticism or even their body language and tone of voice can throw me out.I felt like I couldn't tell him that as I was so anxious and had brain freeze ,and just felt I had get out and not go back.Id be best to find a councilor that has these difficulties and knows how to approach me.Im glad you have some good care where you are going as I know how painful and difficult it is just dragging yourself there.Thanks for the book suggestion and I think I will get a copy.Onwards and upwards to make sense, and get healing from this debilitating condition.I wish you well in your journey.
What really sucks is it’s hard to find a therapist that’s really good that fits you and your needs. It doesn’t even matter their credentials if they don’t align with you. Obviously it’s good to be challenged but there comes a point where the sessions are no longer productive and are not providing you the skills you need. I encourage anyone reading this to not be discouraged. Keep advocating for yourself because you matter and there is that right person/fit out there that will see your strengths and see you for who you are and help guide you. ❤️
Unfortunately when complex trauma is perpetrated by the parents ranging over the early years of the child’s life, their is no escape. The child’s old brain is working overtime to survive and the cortex is along for the ride. With many this pattern continues through adulthood with continuous fight or flight scenarios playing out day after day, year after year, for a lifetime. Just under the surface of these folks is a raging sea of stress hormones bathing the mind and body to the point where any perceived threat is acted upon. It’s a default setting. For the person with C-PTSD the best plans of mice and men remain just plans. The ability to implement the plans is missing from the equation. People around the c-ptsd individual can’t understand the barriers to executive function, which are like actual brick walls to the sufferer. Without insight (or a diagnosis), the person with c-ptsd has no idea why they feel like such a fuck-up. Chaos seems to be always at hand. In their minds there is no future, there is only now. Don’t expect this person to have a long term strategic plan, it’s not in their wheelhouse. Signed, a person with undiagnosed c-ptsd for 63 years. FUBAR!
Try RTT therapists, I haven’t tried it yet because it doesn’t feel like I’m ready but it might work for you because I’ve heard that it works for quite a lot of people, wishing you a lot of good luck !!
I completely understand all of this. Growing up, I never had a childhood nor any humanity to begin with. Not only bullied by my peers but rejected by the teachers, staff and even a principal. Almost all the schools in the town wanted nothing to do with me to the point where they would isolate me from the rest of the kids or even lock me away in a separate room alone. And worse, I had to come back home to a broken family. I grew up not knowing anything about love, comradery or friendship bc I was tricked by crooks over and over again so then I had trust issues. So I understand how it feels to feel stripped of humanity. I wanna be a kid again too to take it all back. But I'm not telling you all this for pitty or make anyone cry, what I'm saying is that we can't spend our lives chasing the past cuz it's gone. Overtime you can heal. When we moved into a new town it was my first experience of love. Heck it was really the strangest thing that has ever happened to me. But chin up. All pain and suffering has an end. AND NO I'M NOT ENCOURAGING SUICIDE. We just have to make the choice to move on and heal. Happiness is a choice.
Thank you for your message & I can completely relate. Pre School to highschool was hell to me, I was bullied and ostracized. My family and support there was none existing and still is tbh. My grades were poor and I stepped away with 0friends. Fast forward to me turning 26 this year and I've grown leaps and bounds but still am haunted by emotional trauma. It's a daily struggle because I'm always in survival mode and struggle to relate to others. Therapy has helped loads and moving out of my small town
@@dg-qn5mi im sorry to hear that..you re not alone..always in survival mode and can't relate or connect to others is result of trauma..trauma make disconnection, i even cant connect with mysef too, im isolated in the crowd..i just want to relax and laugh and be whole again but i cant
This is often the case - having a supportive social circle later in life compensates, the real work is selectively finding and taking on meaningful connections. My advice is to have have high standards for friends, not to settle with low or even toxic (counter-productive) energy that defeats the purpose of friends. Ah, but also a true friend that is usually quite supportive and uplifting may also be brave to point out any real issues we may really be missing - and the same from us to them.
Im there with u ,im 32 and have ptsd manly due to my father whom was abusive physically and emotionally and i was born with part cebral pasly and he thought i was weak due to that an my kind heart ,the man has a top secret secert clearance and got away of it,my suggesting is to have people in your life good people cuz postive energy brings postive feedback and sign up for some form of martial arts
Avoid them and be the best version you can be of yourself. You attract what you are and you need to attract higher beings to make up the damage. If you're lucky you will and you will learn to grow. But it's your job to work yourself out of there. The toxic cycle.
Seek therapy. Long term therapy where you can practice secure attachment. Also groups therapy and mentally practice creating friendships. Learn to feel your self respect and that you matter, ...not less than others, who have had the luck of secured parenting. It is very tough. But it helps over my past two years journey that spiked from grief. Grief your losses. Cry and attend to your emotions like your parents never had.
All the domestic abuse that was inflicted on my mother will never leave me. I have a really bad stamer and used to wet the bed often. She died two years ago 44 years old. The person that makes the pain stop is no longer hear to make me feel better anymore.
Your mom would be of my mom's age if she was alive which is so sad to think about like she died at such a young age, it's heartbreaking. I'm sorry for your loss 💔
The Trauma I have right now from my parents is when they fought a lot my mom cheated then she died to a organ pop and I still love her affected me by making me a lot more sensitive when people yell at kids I tear because it reminds me of my mom when she yelled at me for because when was drunk I felt alone scared with anxiety. I was younger than 7 when this happend I wasn't abused but those memories hit me just as hard as getting abused by emotional It gets so bad sometimes I just want to end it all
I can completely relate to your message. Emotional trauma leaves deep scars, I too have felt as if I can't go on with life but trust me seeing a psychologist was the best thing to happen! Please take care of yourself x
You are a really strong person, don’t give it up ever. You should live out your life, not every part of life is fear and sadness I promise that. Everything gets better especially suffering from trauma, you’ll be stronger once you get past this.
I am the youngest of three children with two older sisters. I was tormented for 10-12 years by my oldest sister. My middle sister was a coward who refused to stand up for herself or me (together we could have protected each other). Contstant humiliation and scorn, especially if I was interacting with other girls, by my oldest sister. Here I am 33 years old, still unable to form real intimacy with any women. I am trapped by my past and, for one reason or another, somehow, I cannot reverse this trauma. I would love human contact, intimacy, even just a hug. But I can't seem to undo the damage done to my psyche/spirit. I feel I will be alone until this life ends.
I understand your pain! I was in a similar situation and felt like there was no hope. There aren’t enough resources out there to help us with the trauma of our past but maybe I can help? I’ve overcome ALL the bs that came with being adopted into a terrible home and now I want to help others ❤️
It's all real. And it takes a serious toll on you. You have to work three times harder than everyone else because you're expending energy on crap emotions like fear and anxiety, which are counterproductive.
I don't necessarily agree with the last part of his response because some people suffering from PTSD are suffering due to the relational style of that parent who is either too-far gone, so caught up in their own issues, passed away or not located in the same location or simply emotionally unavailable for therapy. However, It is each individuals personal responsibility to work actively to heal their trauma and learn to cope with it because support for Childhood PTSD is far and few In between and geography plays a role even in the age of internet. My latest book is stemmed from my own childhood PTSD and seeing the collapse of my parents dysfunctional marriage due to my dad's issues. Him being a war veteran had a lot to do with it but as I researched and did self-therapy and explore different ways of healing, I managed to put it together in a book. Therapy for PTSD is all about self-love and that's what I preach in my book. If anyone wants to check it out and engage in healing, this is the link for my book: www.amazon.ca/dp/B081Y8DVTP
I was drowned as a child by my father, some people don't know how lucky they are. how good they have it that they grew up without child abuse. I just wanted a normal life but I was drowned
Psychiatrists and other mental health professionals in the United States are paid using diagnosis codes from the DSM-5 that lists each mental health disorder and the criteria to meet them. Currently, complex post-traumatic stress disorder is not in the DSM-5 so mental health professionals are left in a quandary, they cannot diagnose their patients with CPTSD and get paid for treating them. This leaves doctors and therapists no choice but to choose bipolar disorder or some other mental health challenge as their client’s diagnosis.
Im fucked up lol, i was abused pretty much every day for 17 years as a child, often people think I should just get over it, but it's not so easy, some days, hours, weeks are so can hard, it's like I'm walking through molasses but emotionally, i feel stunted, angry and don't trust anyone. Stop telling me to just move on, stop telling me to just forgive, I'm quite literally a very emotionally damaged individual
so I only just found out what was wrong with me after 9 years of suffering from my mother's death in 2013 when I was 11, I just had a real psychological exam, I am 18 now and just finding out that my brain is fragmented in away from the trauma and that EMDR is supposed to help me regain control of myself and get out of this 3rd person hazy feeling I've felt for years. if there are any self treatment videos or tips anyone could give me i would really appreciate it, i just want a little bit of peace.
for the people with the response of HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE: of course! we choose to be deeply traumatized and unhappy with our existence 100% ... happiness is only a choice when you have the power of knowledge and understanding. many do not realise this choice because they are stuck within the confines of a trauma-wired brain that doesn't reason logically or relax at all and is scared of EVERYTHING. its dismissive to whittle it down to happiness is a choice when the traumatized don't even KNOW they are traumatized. And don't even understand their unhappiness, its a default setting carried through life due to development and sometimes familiarity. They just think there is something intrinsically wrong with them and their existence because of the abuse. so the choice of happiness is not there if you don't even know that is A THING, and how you are living, thinking feeling and believing in is all wrong, but completely and utterly NOT YOUR FAULT. You cant mould clay into a vase and then once its come out the oven tell it no!! you should be a plate! then cast it aside and say but everyone else was made into a plate, you just gotta choose to be a plate my dude, you gotta choose harder. Happiness is taught. the same as trauma, pain, love, hate. we've learned to think the way we do through example Sometimes when others move on from the pain they turn around and say "its a choice guys!", I've seen it a couple times even in this very comment section. Those people have been shown how to be happy, and that they can be happy and are most probably immersed in love either from others or their own and have forgotten how powerful the shame, guilt, self hate, self sabotaging demons controlling your every thought every dream and waking life experience - the cloud of trauma and how hard it is to see reality through it. HAPPINESS IS NOT A CHOICE, IT IS A LESSON AND A RESULT OF LOVE AND HEALTH People need to be taught how to be happy and that comes with love, knowledge and understanding
So where do we find this kind of help? Qualified professionals are scant and hard to find. Is there a provider list somewhere of recommended people to reach out to?
My worst experience was to a girl of my classroom, making a mark on her forehead with a pen. After that it gave the feeling, that maybe I wanted to leave a scar on her. I liked her, it was a girl that I liked from my classroom.
I've believed that I'm worthless, a loser, an idiot, dipshit, clown, because my father called me these names my whole childhood. My "lens" is that everyone laughs at me because I'm a subhuman, not worthy of dignity or respect. There's no guidelines on what to do when your own parents are the trauma. With the lack of parental guidance I've gotten in my life, I feel helpless, trying to keep my head above water in a violent storm. I'm getting battered by the waves, and there's no one telling me where to swim.
when i was 4 months old i had a burn to the point my skin was peeling off and had to have a skin graph would that have potentially caused trauma as i feel anxiety permanently (every waking moment) and detachment from my body regularly
At 18 months old I had 40% of my body burned from taking a swim in a bath filled with boiling water. By the doctors accounts I wouldn't have survived the night but somehow I did. Now at 30 years of age It has been asked if this could cause any of the problems I have faced in life but the "professionals" on the NHS told me years previous that such experience wouldn't cause the list of troubles I have
Common with emotional neglect, sadly. It’s a pattern of being unable to meet a child’s emotional needs. I’ve witnessed this is my own family dynamics and was unintentionally repeating it with my children, since my emotional needs also weren’t met. You can’t change the other person, but if you’re aware of the problem, you can change you and your responses to others.
I don't want to sound vane, I'm definitely not but I was a good looking kid and got picked on a lot because of it. I developed this negative view on soiciety, became kind of a social outcast and can never figure out how to let go and just be.I have lost almost all interest in the things of the world except for art and music. I feel like I don't fit in to societies "norms" and feel like I have to sell myself out to fit in. Any advice? I am now almost 42 years old .
Im the same with the music. Its like my only truly understanding reliable friend. The book i recommend is CPTSD from surviving to thriving by Pete Walker. Available on amazon. It was like the first time i felt another human being fully understood my pain and situation. Be well!
When I was in the second grade, I think that I was 9. My Father called a family meeting, where my parents started to fight. Then Dad shot mom three times in the chest. Yes, today I have anxiety issues , did I mention that I have Epilepsy too. Did that or could that have come from the time when I was 9 ?
Trauma is stored in emotions and in body sensations. When something is too much to feel....it gets stored in the unconscious....it becomes a lense of consciousness. To heal unconscious must first bring to consciousness.
Me too, it’s called repressed memories. Basically the conscious forgets but the subconscious doesn’t which explains why you may get triggered/dissociated from places, people, etc
I am 53 and was in foster care 3 years at age 5 until 8. I have gone thru ptsd thru periods of if something tramatic happens and usually anxiety and have to get on meds. I believe in Jesus and he has helped me process a lot, but geez at 53 years old you thinks it would behind me but due to selfish family hiding the whole thing and sayng never talk about it made it worst. I urge you if your in foster care or have been talk about it it has to come out, the trauma thru counseling, crying, tear, anger. Yes it was wrong what happened why my own mother narcistic would of sent us there and hide it from my Dad and his family but I have to forgive her and to this day she will never be that mother I wanted but God has sent me spiritual mother.. Jesus is the only way and he will lead you to different places to get help he who the Son sets free is free indeed..
To the lady asking questions, I would have liked to see you ask questions about more relevant things to what he was talking about each time he answered. It seems like you had a list of questions to ask instead of asking questions spontaneously. That kind of killed my engagement to the video.
Psych student here, and someone with PTSD, behavioural and mood issues from a traumatic childhood. Therapy, research, and techniques to help reshape the traumatised areas of your brain and all the hormones and chemicals that are disregulated makes a big difference. Try reading The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van Der Kolk, it gives a relly good insight into the issues trauma causes, and ways to adress it. Anything by him is good, actually. I'm currently trying CBT, yoga and breathing exercises alongside a mood stabiliser to try and reverse/reduce some of the damage that I got. Things like breathing exercies (I like Box Breathing, breath in for four seconds, hold for four, out for four, wait for four seconds before breathing in again) sound silly, but there is a huge amount of science about them reducing cortisol levels, and cortisol is the stress hormone that beocmes constantly elevated from prolonged trauma and fear. Reducing it helps the mind and body and get you out of fight-flight-freeze mode, which plays a big role in pepetuating these issues.
@@BirdyMum HAHAHA 'Psyche Student' Got news for ya. None of that does a damned thing. Sounds good in the books tho right? 'There's so much science that says...." Lolz. It's all bullshit. But they gotta sell you something for the money you paid... The BEST drugs could do is band-aid it. The sad reality is that if you sustained long term infant-child-adolecent trauma, you're FUCKED.
Scholarly but quiet. The ideas here are worth hiring a technical adviser who knows that the recording volume of the interview should not require viewers to wear ear buds or raise their laptop volumes to maximum levels while placing their ears directly on the speaker. Of course, the producers of this video should be well aware of that.
Yeah....what if the parent(s) is/are the cause of much of the child's trauma and instability and doesn't think that they have anything that they have to change and are unwilling?...
Then that’s when you have to make the decision that’s best for you and your peace of mind. My adopted mother was very abusive and never acknowledged her actions. But I can’t do anything about it besides do what’s best for my life. She’s never going to change
You are very articulate for English being your 2nd language and for your age. Yes, that is a lot of trauma to experience for a child. I also lost my dad when I was very young. I wasn't even 3 when he died. I had two younger siblings so my mom had to raise us alone since she was too unstable to remarry. I had a lot of health issues in middle school and my mom spiraled out of control when I was in high school. You're not alone in this. I had to move far away from my family, but I turned out okay. Find people at your school who are supportive. Even if it's a teacher or a school counselor. Get involved in sports or theater or band or choir... invest yourself in a church community. Doing those things is what got me through.
Also, if I could give one piece of advice I wish I'd had it's this: the way people treat you is a projection of how they feel about themselves. Including parents and caretakers. You are worthy of love and valuable! If people treat you badly it's because they don't feel good about themselves.
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I was bullied in my late primary school & high school years because I was obese, quiet and from a working class background. Before it started I was a top notch student, extremely good at math and languages. When the bullying started and continued, my grades became worse and worse, I could not concentrate and was constantly re-living those traumatic experiences. This has permanently ruined my self-esteem, I feel sad and depressed quite often and I struggle every day.
Hang in there. It may feel permanent, and you've gone through a lot for this long, but with good resources and a support system, it DOES get better. 🙂
Youre perfect. Youre not the one that needs fixing. Those bullies do.
@@bread5275 Thank you for your kind words.
I'm sorry to hear that :( Bullying is so underated in what it can do to us in the long-term. I still have depressive episodes, and eating disorder and zero self-esteem, and I finished school years ago. I had an abusive homelife, and I can honestly say that the damage done to me by fellow students was bad enough that going home to a violent alcoholic was less terrifying than being there. Zero tolerance policies are the only way forward, but when the teachers are often also bullies, I'm not hopeful.
I'm so sorry. Bullying has badly affected my life as well. By the time I was in 3rd grade I was already diminished.
I was taught by my parents that sex was disgusting & I should always be cautious of attraction to the opposite sex.
At around 17, I found out my parents have very kinky sex lives and are also into swapping, have cheated on each other multiple times & much more.
The hypocrisy of it all was so incredibly overwhelming for me that I was left with severe intimacy issues. I've pushed away so many girls in my life, and also been depressed about it. I just have no words for this fucked upness
I can totally relate to what you're saying
To make it worse I was also molested by both parents
so many parents, people are like this. extreme, polarizing and unnatural values (that always confuse and dements a childs perspective)... are almost always if not always being some sort of self defense, shame protection system of the parents life-choices + experiences (or in many times, lack of)
Sounds like your parents are extremely narcissistic. They always say one thing and mean another!
@sarahbeatty2419 your story breaks my heart. I wish I was there to protect you and kuro. I'm researching complex ptsd during development years because my best friend tried to commit suicide because of it. He opened up to me and told me what happened (sexually abused) and it crushed me because I could feel his pain as he opened up. And I want to be there to help any way that I can.
Any advice about how I can help my friend is greatly appreciated. I wish you all the best while you heal and overcome your adversity!
I get the impression that 'regular' therapists who didn't specialise in trauma have very little awareness of the complex, more "invisible" forms of trauma.
Ditto
Yeah, annoying
They shouldnt be working with clients, if its not within their scope if this is the case.
What about the regular therapists who went trough trauma themselfes?
@@fairyjuggalo8368 What about them? I went through trauma and I am now finishing a degree in psychology and plan to attend a masters program in order to become a licensed counselor. I think I will be more suited to assist those who've experienced trauma.
CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL TRAUMA IS THE NUMBER 1 EPIDEMIC IN THE U.S.
ruclips.net/video/KalA5o8YG2k/видео.html
In my home too.
Typically children will experience trauma at some point, this is normal.
However if you live in a home where you never feel safe, or you can't turn to either of you parents, and you live in dread every single day for them to come home because they will abuse you, it really damages a person.
I told a psychologist about my mother's uncontrollable fits of rage,verbal abuse and lashings with a belt as a kid as it has deeply effected me, he told me even though it wasn't right it was normal for kids to get that in the 70s and 80s and I just need to write a letter to her about it,but don't send it and that will fix the issue .One thing I have learnt from this is never trust a textbook psychologist with no experience of hardship or suffering, and never step into their office again.
They really dont understand, as i dont think you can unless youve been through it. Or else it would take a very high degree of empathy, as 'professsionals' they are trained not to become empathically attached to clients, as somewhat understandably if they developed that empathic connection with multiple clients they themselves would likely burn out/become depressed. I still go to a counsellor who is very kind and non-judgemental and it has value for me. Its just they can only understand so far. There is an excellent book you should read: CPTSD form surviving to thriving by Pete Walker. Its available on amazon. It was like the first time felt someone FULLY understood the difficulty. Be well!!
@@sawtoothiandi Hey thanks for replying. Yes I think you are definately right about shrinks lacking empathy and I guess the need to keep themselves sane at the same time.For me when I went there I felt extremely vulnerable and I'm highly sensitive to any perceived or real regection,and criticism or even their body language and tone of voice can throw me out.I felt like I couldn't tell him that as I was so anxious and had brain freeze ,and just felt I had get out and not go back.Id be best to find a councilor that has these difficulties and knows how to approach me.Im glad you have some good care where you are going as I know how painful and difficult it is just dragging yourself there.Thanks for the book suggestion and I think I will get a copy.Onwards and upwards to make sense, and get healing from this debilitating condition.I wish you well in your journey.
@@Briangreen701 how are you?
What really sucks is it’s hard to find a therapist that’s really good that fits you and your needs. It doesn’t even matter their credentials if they don’t align with you. Obviously it’s good to be challenged but there comes a point where the sessions are no longer productive and are not providing you the skills you need. I encourage anyone reading this to not be discouraged. Keep advocating for yourself because you matter and there is that right person/fit out there that will see your strengths and see you for who you are and help guide you. ❤️
Unfortunately when complex trauma is perpetrated by the parents ranging over the early years of the child’s life, their is no escape. The child’s old brain is working overtime to survive and the cortex is along for the ride. With many this pattern continues through adulthood with continuous fight or flight scenarios playing out day after day, year after year, for a lifetime. Just under the surface of these folks is a raging sea of stress hormones bathing the mind and body to the point where any perceived threat is acted upon. It’s a default setting. For the person with C-PTSD the best plans of mice and men remain just plans. The ability to implement the plans is missing from the equation. People around the c-ptsd individual can’t understand the barriers to executive function, which are like actual brick walls to the sufferer. Without insight (or a diagnosis), the person with c-ptsd has no idea why they feel like such a fuck-up. Chaos seems to be always at hand. In their minds there is no future, there is only now. Don’t expect this person to have a long term strategic plan, it’s not in their wheelhouse. Signed, a person with undiagnosed c-ptsd for 63 years. FUBAR!
PERFECT!
Wow so im definitely not the first to feel this way, but continue to suffer after 25 years 😞
Mat Bodhi i know you will find peace, whether it be today or later, peace is naturally within you. sending you so much love
Try RTT therapists, I haven’t tried it yet because it doesn’t feel like I’m ready but it might work for you because I’ve heard that it works for quite a lot of people, wishing you a lot of good luck !!
so real unfortunately.
I completely understand all of this. Growing up, I never had a childhood nor any humanity to begin with. Not only bullied by my peers but rejected by the teachers, staff and even a principal. Almost all the schools in the town wanted nothing to do with me to the point where they would isolate me from the rest of the kids or even lock me away in a separate room alone. And worse, I had to come back home to a broken family. I grew up not knowing anything about love, comradery or friendship bc I was tricked by crooks over and over again so then I had trust issues. So I understand how it feels to feel stripped of humanity. I wanna be a kid again too to take it all back. But I'm not telling you all this for pitty or make anyone cry, what I'm saying is that we can't spend our lives chasing the past cuz it's gone. Overtime you can heal. When we moved into a new town it was my first experience of love. Heck it was really the strangest thing that has ever happened to me. But chin up. All pain and suffering has an end. AND NO I'M NOT ENCOURAGING SUICIDE. We just have to make the choice to move on and heal. Happiness is a choice.
Thank you for your message & I can completely relate. Pre School to highschool was hell to me, I was bullied and ostracized. My family and support there was none existing and still is tbh. My grades were poor and I stepped away with 0friends. Fast forward to me turning 26 this year and I've grown leaps and bounds but still am haunted by emotional trauma. It's a daily struggle because I'm always in survival mode and struggle to relate to others. Therapy has helped loads and moving out of my small town
@@dg-qn5mi im sorry to hear that..you re not alone..always in survival mode and can't relate or connect to others is result of trauma..trauma make disconnection, i even cant connect with mysef too, im isolated in the crowd..i just want to relax and laugh and be whole again but i cant
What if the parent is the source of trauma?
This is often the case - having a supportive social circle later in life compensates, the real work is selectively finding and taking on meaningful connections. My advice is to have have high standards for friends, not to settle with low or even toxic (counter-productive) energy that defeats the purpose of friends. Ah, but also a true friend that is usually quite supportive and uplifting may also be brave to point out any real issues we may really be missing - and the same from us to them.
Im there with u ,im 32 and have ptsd manly due to my father whom was abusive physically and emotionally and i was born with part cebral pasly and he thought i was weak due to that an my kind heart ,the man has a top secret secert clearance and got away of it,my suggesting is to have people in your life good people cuz postive energy brings postive feedback and sign up for some form of martial arts
Avoid them and be the best version you can be of yourself. You attract what you are and you need to attract higher beings to make up the damage. If you're lucky you will and you will learn to grow. But it's your job to work yourself out of there. The toxic cycle.
Seek therapy. Long term therapy where you can practice secure attachment. Also groups therapy and mentally practice creating friendships. Learn to feel your self respect and that you matter, ...not less than others, who have had the luck of secured parenting. It is very tough. But it helps over my past two years journey that spiked from grief. Grief your losses. Cry and attend to your emotions like your parents never had.
@@eh4235 that's wonderful. I'll take it to heart. Thank you for sharing
I hope everyone who is having issues in this comment section can heal and be at peace ✌️
All the domestic abuse that was inflicted on my mother will never leave me. I have a really bad stamer and used to wet the bed often. She died two years ago 44 years old. The person that makes the pain stop is no longer hear to make me feel better anymore.
corey michael 💕
Your mom would be of my mom's age if she was alive which is so sad to think about like she died at such a young age, it's heartbreaking. I'm sorry for your loss 💔
Hope you're ok♥️
I am sorry.
You’re doing great. I’m proud of you
The Trauma I have right now from my parents is when they fought a lot my mom cheated then she died to a organ pop and I still love her affected me by making me a lot more sensitive when people yell at kids I tear because it reminds me of my mom when she yelled at me for because when was drunk I felt alone scared with anxiety. I was younger than 7 when this happend I wasn't abused but those memories hit me just as hard as getting abused by emotional
It gets so bad sometimes I just want to end it all
I can completely relate to your message. Emotional trauma leaves deep scars, I too have felt as if I can't go on with life but trust me seeing a psychologist was the best thing to happen! Please take care of yourself x
You are a really strong person, don’t give it up ever. You should live out your life, not every part of life is fear and sadness I promise that. Everything gets better especially suffering from trauma, you’ll be stronger once you get past this.
I am the youngest of three children with two older sisters. I was tormented for 10-12 years by my oldest sister. My middle sister was a coward who refused to stand up for herself or me (together we could have protected each other). Contstant humiliation and scorn, especially if I was interacting with other girls, by my oldest sister.
Here I am 33 years old, still unable to form real intimacy with any women. I am trapped by my past and, for one reason or another, somehow, I cannot reverse this trauma.
I would love human contact, intimacy, even just a hug. But I can't seem to undo the damage done to my psyche/spirit.
I feel I will be alone until this life ends.
I understand your pain! I was in a similar situation and felt like there was no hope. There aren’t enough resources out there to help us with the trauma of our past but maybe I can help? I’ve overcome ALL the bs that came with being adopted into a terrible home and now I want to help others ❤️
I Fucking feel you it wad from all ma family only my Mom
God forbid. Do not say that. Dont give up hope..
It was your parents job to protect you, not your sister's. Why are you calling a child a coward?
this explains alot
Same
Ikr
It's all real. And it takes a serious toll on you. You have to work three times harder than everyone else because you're expending energy on crap emotions like fear and anxiety, which are counterproductive.
I am glad I found this because someone else understands what I'm going through.
Explains why I feel so tired a lot of the time
I don't necessarily agree with the last part of his response because some people suffering from PTSD are suffering due to the relational style of that parent who is either too-far gone, so caught up in their own issues, passed away or not located in the same location or simply emotionally unavailable for therapy. However, It is each individuals personal responsibility to work actively to heal their trauma and learn to cope with it because support for Childhood PTSD is far and few In between and geography plays a role even in the age of internet.
My latest book is stemmed from my own childhood PTSD and seeing the collapse of my parents dysfunctional marriage due to my dad's issues. Him being a war veteran had a lot to do with it but as I researched and did self-therapy and explore different ways of healing, I managed to put it together in a book. Therapy for PTSD is all about self-love and that's what I preach in my book. If anyone wants to check it out and engage in healing, this is the link for my book:
www.amazon.ca/dp/B081Y8DVTP
You do realize they are talking about "complex" ptsd?
I was drowned as a child by my father, some people don't know how lucky they are. how good they have it that they grew up without child abuse. I just wanted a normal life but I was drowned
Excellent! Validating to watch this program. Thank you for your time and effort.
Psychiatrists and other mental health professionals in the United States are paid using diagnosis codes from the DSM-5 that lists each mental health disorder and the criteria to meet them. Currently, complex post-traumatic stress disorder is not in the DSM-5 so mental health professionals are left in a quandary, they cannot diagnose their patients with CPTSD and get paid for treating them. This leaves doctors and therapists no choice but to choose bipolar disorder or some other mental health challenge as their client’s diagnosis.
Thank you, absolutely informative and caring.
Great talk ,but I thing it should be a longer video. There is so much more that can be said on this topic.Keep up the good work.
My brain is always on survival mode
Same, just want to relax
I’m not gonna lie My emotions died a long time ago I’m depressed and mentally fucked from my early childhood
CRUCIAL points. Thank you, friend, for sharing! -Teresa Yanaros
Good articulation of Dr.Bowlby's work from the 1950's .
Very very well explained! Thank you for this video and the thorough yet followable explanation.
Im fucked up lol, i was abused pretty much every day for 17 years as a child, often people think I should just get over it, but it's not so easy, some days, hours, weeks are so can hard, it's like I'm walking through molasses but emotionally, i feel stunted, angry and don't trust anyone. Stop telling me to just move on, stop telling me to just forgive, I'm quite literally a very emotionally damaged individual
This explains me 100 percent
I’ve been through some things in my life deaths of all grandparents and one of my friends killed himself
I'm sorry for your loss
Thanks
Prayers for you. I've also lost my grandparents and my dad. I know how tough it is
Sorry for your loss to Elizabeth
Randomgirl please elaborate
Do you buy all those books retail? Or do you send away for a shrink kit that comes with all those volumes included?
so I only just found out what was wrong with me after 9 years of suffering from my mother's death in 2013 when I was 11, I just had a real psychological exam, I am 18 now and just finding out that my brain is fragmented in away from the trauma and that EMDR is supposed to help me regain control of myself and get out of this 3rd person hazy feeling I've felt for years. if there are any self treatment videos or tips anyone could give me i would really appreciate it, i just want a little bit of peace.
for the people with the response of HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE: of course! we choose to be deeply traumatized and unhappy with our existence 100%
...
happiness is only a choice when you have the power of knowledge and understanding. many do not realise this choice because they are stuck within the confines of a trauma-wired brain that doesn't reason logically or relax at all and is scared of EVERYTHING. its dismissive to whittle it down to happiness is a choice when the traumatized don't even KNOW they are traumatized. And don't even understand their unhappiness, its a default setting carried through life due to development and sometimes familiarity.
They just think there is something intrinsically wrong with them and their existence because of the abuse. so the choice of happiness is not there if you don't even know that is A THING, and how you are living, thinking feeling and believing in is all wrong, but completely and utterly NOT YOUR FAULT.
You cant mould clay into a vase and then once its come out the oven tell it no!! you should be a plate! then cast it aside and say but everyone else was made into a plate, you just gotta choose to be a plate my dude, you gotta choose harder.
Happiness is taught. the same as trauma, pain, love, hate. we've learned to think the way we do through example
Sometimes when others move on from the pain they turn around and say "its a choice guys!", I've seen it a couple times even in this very comment section.
Those people have been shown how to be happy, and that they can be happy and are most probably immersed in love either from others or their own and have forgotten how powerful the shame, guilt, self hate, self sabotaging demons controlling your every thought every dream and waking life experience - the cloud of trauma and how hard it is to see reality through it.
HAPPINESS IS NOT A CHOICE, IT IS A LESSON AND A RESULT OF LOVE AND HEALTH
People need to be taught how to be happy and that comes with love, knowledge and understanding
So where do we find this kind of help? Qualified professionals are scant and hard to find. Is there a provider list somewhere of recommended people to reach out to?
This was a great video.
My worst experience was to a girl of my classroom, making a mark on her forehead with a pen. After that it gave the feeling, that maybe I wanted to leave a scar on her. I liked her, it was a girl that I liked from my classroom.
MY BIGGEST ENEMY AND THE MONSTER IN THE CLOSET WAS THE ONE PERSON WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO KEEP ME SAFE.
MY FATHER.
What if u hide something that causes the trauma from the parent
I've believed that I'm worthless, a loser, an idiot, dipshit, clown, because my father called me these names my whole childhood. My "lens" is that everyone laughs at me because I'm a subhuman, not worthy of dignity or respect.
There's no guidelines on what to do when your own parents are the trauma. With the lack of parental guidance I've gotten in my life, I feel helpless, trying to keep my head above water in a violent storm. I'm getting battered by the waves, and there's no one telling me where to swim.
when i was 4 months old i had a burn to the point my skin was peeling off and had to have a skin graph would that have potentially caused trauma as i feel anxiety permanently (every waking moment) and detachment from my body regularly
Same dude
At 18 months old I had 40% of my body burned from taking a swim in a bath filled with boiling water. By the doctors accounts I wouldn't have survived the night but somehow I did. Now at 30 years of age It has been asked if this could cause any of the problems I have faced in life but the "professionals" on the NHS told me years previous that such experience wouldn't cause the list of troubles I have
What if the parent is the source of the trauma but they don’t know it
Common with emotional neglect, sadly. It’s a pattern of being unable to meet a child’s emotional needs. I’ve witnessed this is my own family dynamics and was unintentionally repeating it with my children, since my emotional needs also weren’t met.
You can’t change the other person, but if you’re aware of the problem, you can change you and your responses to others.
May have this. Just not ready to say my story
❤️ there’s always an ear when you are 😊
The parents were the abusers regarding me
Mine too
Hard to hear
I don't want to sound vane, I'm definitely not but I was a good looking kid and got picked on a lot because of it. I developed this negative view on soiciety, became kind of a social outcast and can never figure out how to let go and just be.I have lost almost all interest in the things of the world except for art and music. I feel like I don't fit in to societies "norms" and feel like I have to sell myself out to fit in. Any advice? I am now almost 42 years old .
check out a book called "the way of the peaceful warrior"
@@joshua.edjida thank you
Im the same with the music. Its like my only truly understanding reliable friend. The book i recommend is CPTSD from surviving to thriving by Pete Walker. Available on amazon. It was like the first time i felt another human being fully understood my pain and situation. Be well!
When I was in the second grade, I think that I was 9. My Father called a family meeting, where my parents started to fight. Then Dad shot mom three times in the chest. Yes, today I have anxiety issues , did I mention that I have Epilepsy too. Did that or could that have come from the time when I was 9 ?
This trauma will be kill me one day
@@cultivatekindnessabodah788 ☺️
very good
2:30 IS what i came for! Thank you!
Kindly filiver your video in urdu
on child psychology
Who else is here after searching “how to get over emotional trauma” 😗✌️
ugh we upset
get a therapist that has training in EMDR
Trauma is stored in emotions and in body sensations. When something is too much to feel....it gets stored in the unconscious....it becomes a lense of consciousness. To heal unconscious must first bring to consciousness.
I got hurt. The thing is I can’t remember anything. Does anyone know how to remember things like this?
Me too, it’s called repressed memories. Basically the conscious forgets but the subconscious doesn’t which explains why you may get triggered/dissociated from places, people, etc
I am 53 and was in foster care 3 years at age 5 until 8. I have gone thru ptsd thru periods of if something tramatic happens and usually anxiety and have to get on meds. I believe in Jesus and he has helped me process a lot, but geez at 53 years old you thinks it would behind me but due to selfish family hiding the whole thing and sayng never talk about it made it worst. I urge you if your in foster care or have been talk about it it has to come out, the trauma thru counseling, crying, tear, anger. Yes it was wrong what happened why my own mother narcistic would of sent us there and hide it from my Dad and his family but I have to forgive her and to this day she will never be that mother I wanted but God has sent me spiritual mother.. Jesus is the only way and he will lead you to different places to get help he who the Son sets free is free indeed..
Never think negative but do things together with your c
It was my fault it will always be my fault
Mushrooms 🍄 DMT are the antidote. Don't forget It's all in the Set and Setting.
Doctors should start prescribing it. Everything is an illusion anyways....
Mushroom dmt ???
To the lady asking questions, I would have liked to see you ask questions about more relevant things to what he was talking about each time he answered. It seems like you had a list of questions to ask instead of asking questions spontaneously. That kind of killed my engagement to the video.
How do i break this behavior
ruclips.net/video/a9zJjxp-Rgs/видео.html
Psych student here, and someone with PTSD, behavioural and mood issues from a traumatic childhood. Therapy, research, and techniques to help reshape the traumatised areas of your brain and all the hormones and chemicals that are disregulated makes a big difference. Try reading The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van Der Kolk, it gives a relly good insight into the issues trauma causes, and ways to adress it. Anything by him is good, actually. I'm currently trying CBT, yoga and breathing exercises alongside a mood stabiliser to try and reverse/reduce some of the damage that I got. Things like breathing exercies (I like Box Breathing, breath in for four seconds, hold for four, out for four, wait for four seconds before breathing in again) sound silly, but there is a huge amount of science about them reducing cortisol levels, and cortisol is the stress hormone that beocmes constantly elevated from prolonged trauma and fear. Reducing it helps the mind and body and get you out of fight-flight-freeze mode, which plays a big role in pepetuating these issues.
@@eh4235 thank you! i will be checking it out much appreciate it
@@BirdyMum wow thank you so much! I'll be checking it out asap !
@@BirdyMum HAHAHA 'Psyche Student' Got news for ya. None of that does a damned thing. Sounds good in the books tho right? 'There's so much science that says...." Lolz. It's all bullshit. But they gotta sell you something for the money you paid... The BEST drugs could do is band-aid it. The sad reality is that if you sustained long term infant-child-adolecent trauma, you're FUCKED.
Scholarly but quiet. The ideas here are worth hiring a technical adviser who knows that the recording volume of the interview should not require viewers to wear ear buds or raise their laptop volumes to maximum levels while placing their ears directly on the speaker. Of course, the producers of this video should be well aware of that.
Meanwhile, I could barely hear a word that was said.
Shall we keep in mind that viewers can ALWAYS turn their volume DOWN!
No parents involved to retramatize the child. Abuser healing their own abuse on a child? No no no!
Yeah....what if the parent(s) is/are the cause of much of the child's trauma and instability and doesn't think that they have anything that they have to change and are unwilling?...
Then that’s when you have to make the decision that’s best for you and your peace of mind. My adopted mother was very abusive and never acknowledged her actions. But I can’t do anything about it besides do what’s best for my life. She’s never going to change
The shit was a mf 10 if 10 is maximum fuckin 10
I'm 13 and I am so happy I'm not like this
Jonaz Bermudez 👍
Jonaz, I am so happy you aren't either.🤗❤️
audio
?
Omg I forgot all about my trauma
To all of you looking for help please reach out to a MH training center near you! Try this resource www.aptc.org/?module=Members&event=Clinics
QwQ
You are very articulate for English being your 2nd language and for your age. Yes, that is a lot of trauma to experience for a child. I also lost my dad when I was very young. I wasn't even 3 when he died. I had two younger siblings so my mom had to raise us alone since she was too unstable to remarry. I had a lot of health issues in middle school and my mom spiraled out of control when I was in high school. You're not alone in this.
I had to move far away from my family, but I turned out okay. Find people at your school who are supportive. Even if it's a teacher or a school counselor. Get involved in sports or theater or band or choir... invest yourself in a church community. Doing those things is what got me through.
Also, if I could give one piece of advice I wish I'd had it's this: the way people treat you is a projection of how they feel about themselves. Including parents and caretakers.
You are worthy of love and valuable! If people treat you badly it's because they don't feel good about themselves.
dang Mrs. Joseph is fine
Lots of cannabis helps