Why You Should Stop Reading Self-Help Books | Rich Roll Podcast
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- Опубликовано: 6 окт 2024
- The ultimate life hack? Stop trying to hack your life. So put the self-help book down and start doing.
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it’s kinda crazy how nobody’s talking about Antozent, they are selling 250 self help books for the price of one
I've consumed around 70 self help books of all sorts and although I did learn so much, I'm realizing now it mainly just made me FEEL like I was progressing. I just don't know how to push myself to execute. I've tried so many different things but I never stick to my goals or do the things I know I NEED to do in order to be successful/happy.
I feel you buddy.
I gave all my self-help books away to people that I didn't like.
Lmao
Why did you do that ? And what’s you’re doing now for your self improvement?
@@mamadoumountaghabalde5114 I did that because I realized that I am unable to, and don't need to improve who I am. That doesn't mean that I don't need to act with integrity. It simply means that who I am is perfectly ok, and incidentally, so are you.
@@johnfausett3335 What if who I am is leading me nowhere in terms of my dreams? Then the choice becomes losing my dreams, vs changing who I am.
@@gokulhemanthkumar4556 Your dreams are an expression of who you are. No need to change either, rather refine and focus on your path.
Reading without taking action is just entertainment
Best comment ever in 2023
Steps to being successful in self-help:
Step 1) Publish regular self-help content
Step 2) Trash talk self-help to make it appear as though your regular self-help content is somehow above other self-help
Exactly.
No-one gives their secrets away. They only tell you half the story. Many "Hard Working" "80hr./week worker" millionaires never tell you they inherited the starting million that coupled with luck, made the next 5M.
Mark Manson left the chat.
@@fromthepeanutgallery1084 Yep. If there was a secret, they wouldn't be telling you it.
Yea, I picked up on that too
It’s a fine line between “Self Help” and “Self Absorption”
It's not really - self-help isn't always helpful, but most people using those books are trying to process pain or improve their flaws. They recognise that they need improving or healing and they'd like to improve/heal themselves - that's admirable and if they succeed, it ultimately benefits society, which is the opposite of self-absorption.
Also, this very podcast often veers into the realm of self-help, so are the listeners self-absorbed for listening to it?
Thats a good one Lisa
Please explain.
@@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559 She may be projecting.
@@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559 Good perspective you have taken there.🙏🏽
The best thing about self help is when you finally get rid of it and realize you have never needed it. You're fine the way you are. Always have been and always will be.
Very well said, i also started feeling same.
When I started moving away from self help.I used to have fear of missing out some important advice, but I am coming over it.
@@VamsiKrishna-pp4fy same i had fear of missing out i evaluated my life and i thought i had made very little so i came up with dozens or things to learn so that i can be mature and knowledgeable man
😂🎉😂🎉😂😂😂🎉🎉😂🎉🎉🎉🎉😂🎉😂😂😂😂🎉🎉🎉🎉😂😂🎉😂🎉😂🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😂😂😂😂😂🎉😂🎉🎉🎉😂😂🎉🎉😂🎉🎉🎉🎉😂🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😂🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😂🎉😂🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😂🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 0:38 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
To me, self help is learning from others experiences and utilizing what I can from it to grow. It’s simply pulling from someone else’s perspective. We can learn a lot from each other. However, what we learned must be applied. Self held can become the pursuit of the next best concept without ever applying any of it to life.
@@VamsiKrishna-pp4fy Good for you. Self help has the knack of forcing one to change themselves when in actuality, we ought to be more accepting of ourselves, which leads to accepting others with ease. This makes life much simple.
Guys, guys, guys! I’m consuming this podcast the same way I consume books. I digest the content and mull over it, taking in what resonates and throwing out what doesn’t. The first self-help book I read in ‘95 helped me reclaim confidence in a body which which brought me cancer. The books I went on to read opened my eyes to a new reality and life has just got better and better since then. Don’t denigrate books or those of us who seek so much insight into all facets of our lives. I’ve become a therapist and helped hundreds of beautiful beings and the wisdom I’ve gleaned from books has got me there. PS love your work Rich Roll..
That's awesome
You are so right. But I think they mean that just consuming and no action is bad. Your life examples imply that you took actions with new wisdom. Good for you, it's inspiring to read a good story:) Greetings from Ukraine.
They arent saying reading self help books or consuming knowledge from them are bad for you.
They are saying reading a self help book can become a coping mechanism for some people and in order for them to work effectively you need to actually take the information and put it into action.
As a therapist, you should resonate with their message even more because, as they teach in therapy school, most wounding happens RELATIONALLY and needs to be healed RELATIONALLY and to think that we can do that healing on our own is part of the same "I can do it all myself" attitude that literally is the result of relational wounding.
@@SW-jg7yh interesting. What source would you recommend for someone who wants to learn more about that idea?
I find, coming from a troubled background, that self-help material has been a kind of mentor in my life, when I had no other. For 20 years I continued to plow and plant these seeds in my mind. I traded junk content for content that pointed me in the right direction. There were many periods of failure and inaction. I'm glad that I continued consuming this sort of content. Those seeds eventually came to fruition. Without this programming of my mind, I would be lost in the world or worse. The knowledge I gathered helped me to trust the process and deal with the obstacles. It was cemented into my consciousness. I became too aware of the consequences of each choice we make, both large and small. The right material can call you to action. I understand that if you are Rich Roll or his guest, maybe you shouldn't be reading self-help. A lot of us out here need to keep stuffing it into our being. Self-help is so much better than self-harm. It's a shame that self-harm is such a big part of many people's lives these days. If you're in the dark, don't give up! Read the book, gather the knowledge, and act act ACT! When you fall down (and you will), get back up. Just keep getting up and eventually getting up will become a habit. We're all on different levels and paths. All needing different tools.
I totally agree with you
Such a great comment and totally agree. That's how I view self help books. Planting seeds, taking what works, doing away with what doesn't and taking action. But I can also see how people who don't want to take action can be stuck in only reading and looking for the next best thing and never getting anywhere.
@@Shortana
Well said! This is what I wanted to say but you said it! :)
I completely agree with you. I finally got the courage to start my on youtube channel and start being vulnerable because self help people and motivational speakers saved my life.
"Self esteem comes from esteemable acts." Rich Roll just cured societies ills with that statement.
Well that hit me hard. I read so much that thinking im growing but im actually Not... its honestly just a cover up to make me seem that im doing something.
Thanks Rich for pointing that out
Its called Mental Masturbation...........
"its in the doing that the path is revealed". Absolutely.
My parents had left me. I had no mentors, and my friends were addicts. Keith Harrell, got me to adjust my attitude. Jim Rohn helped me to set goals, robert green (33 strategies of war) helped me walk away from toxic people, Jordan Peterson reconnected me intellectually to the Bible, the Bible gave me a relationship with God, God gave me a Wife and Son. Myles Munroe has made me a Good father and husband.
I did consume too much self help. If i could go back, i would pick a few books and just re-read them and imbed their principles and not read so broadly.
Like all good things, you can overdo it which can be just as dangerous as inaction.
Good luck to everyone on their journey!
People confuse consuming content as an act of progress. The key is to consume content with the intent and commitment to apply the strategies it has but it is no substitute for doing the work.
Well said!!!
🎯
This is so freeing to me. I'm struggling to get through a very revered book on spiritual growth, it's just not speaking to me. I felt like to be committed to my growth, I have to make myself read it. But I keep avoiding it, resulting in not keeping up with establishing a daily reading habit. This made me realize, if I was actually reading something that I wanted to read, self help or not, I'd be far better off.
I think this is bad advice. I find trading to be the best analogy in this case: you can read about hundreds of different strategies every day, but you'll only see profits if you commit yourself to *just one* for a long period of time. I learned this lesson the hard way.
What I did, and most people probably do, is reading about new strategies of self development, get excited, try it out for a few days, forget about it, read about a new thing, repeat.
This is me also 😅😂
You can't think your way into right action, you have to act your way into right thinking...
I think it's good to have different perspectives, but you have to take action and let things evolve but when you feel it's not benefiting you then you have to course-correct.
So true. I call this False Positivity as without ACTION there is no point reading.
People get a rush when they read a book or attend session and then it dies then they pick another
I always enjoy Rich! Great podcaster, ultra-athlete and recovery community member. One of my favorite expressions applies here: "It's not what you know, it's what you DO with with what you know."
I was getting semi-addicted to them. Now broken the cycle and putting in 8+hrs work a day. I just listen to the motivation youtube clips (especially Goggins!) when I'm doing other stuff to make me want to get back to work asap.
The real problem, necessarily, is not that people conflate reading self-help books or watching (excellent) podcasts such as Rich Roll's with the action, rather that people do take the advice to heart and apply it and perhaps much of advice works to improve their lives, but then they have a 'new normal' which then isn't enough. The truth is, we have to recognize, we will NEVER arrive. Unconditional self-acceptance has to be part of 'the program'. Without it, we are as Fitzgerald mentions near the end of The Great Gatsby anxiously chancing a sunset. (Note: I have not read The Great Gatsby in decades...) Keep on rock'n Rich Roll.
I'm an avid reader and I read 90% of the time, non-fiction literature. Reading a lot of the self-books will not help you at all, be honest with yourself you're just procrastinating. From every book, you can learn something. But the problem is the following, you are reading too much hence too much input, but the output is none. Are you really thinking about what you read? are you implementing anything that is written, and sticking to it for a longer time. Only one sentence is enough to change your mindset, to motivate you. But firstly that must come from inside, stop seeking external approval or help. You can do it. Start small, improve a little bit day by day.
Self help books can only be helpful if you take action and implement their advice. Take personal responsibility for your actions. Don't just consume self help literature. Take action.
*I wouldn’t completely stop it since it CAN give you different perspective of life, but rather you should take action more than just relying on information because at the end of the day, YOU are unique* 🙏
*insert type* yes, you make a very good point there. I also fell into the trap of just reading and reading and reading one book after the other, but then I realized that I would be better off just reading one AWESOME book on a certain topic, execute that and when I see I can’t get any further then I look for another one, but I approach it another way. I keep on educating myself (gaining different perspectives) while taking action.
@*insert type* really good points
completely grateful for these higher consciousness podcasts.. genuinely pushing the species forward in a positive manner..
Same. It makes the human feel okay to just be human and do what feels right at the moment. And to sum up our actions of the day to get that "accomplished" feeling we seek every day. Right? Would you agree or disagree?
La mejor frase de esta platica es: “it’s in the DOING that the path is revealed”......totalmente cierto!!
Do it, just do it! Don’t let your dreams be dreams. Yesterday you said tomorrow. So just do it! Make your dreams come true. Just do it. Some people dream of success, while you’re going to wake up and work hard at it. Nothing is impossible… you should get to the point where anyone else would quit and you’re not going to stop there. NO! What are you waiting for?! DO IT! JUST DO IT! YES YOU CAN! JUST DO IT! If you’re tired of starting over, stop giving up.
1. Progress is outside the comfort zone. Everything you want is on the other side of Fear.
2. Life is not easy. We don't grow when things are easy, we grow when we face challenges. Failure is a part of Success. Work harder on yourself than you do on your job.
3. Health is more important than Wealth. Happiness comes from Self Love. Make yourself the most important person in your life while respecting others.
4. Faith is stronger than Hope. Hope walks through the fire, Faith leaps over the fire.
5. Be thankful with what you have now. You will never get enough of what you don't have.
6. You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.
7. There is no meaning in life. There's no point in asking that question when you are the answer.
8. Forgiveness is about choosing not to live with hatred.
9. A leader is the one who speaks last and acts first.
10. It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.
This is a summary of the major ideas of self help books??
I don't agree with Rich, personal development is a life long skill that must be always nurtured. If you don't take action, you'll never improve your life, but you're more likely to take action the more personal development you consume.
Good comment.
I had been pondering this for a while now, as this accurately describes me. My antidote to follow through is give away or put out of sight the books of these nature on my shelf, and get back to some good old fashioned fiction reading for long while. And anything that has actually sank in might settle and embed because the inflow of info has greatly reduced.
Self-help is not to become it's own chore. It has become a chore for this person. Self-help has become it's own distraction preventing them from dealing with issues they could be facing were they not so busy with their self-help habit.
Often, people weaponize their endless consumption of self-help, delusionally convincing themselves they're the arbiter of everything they've read. Without the anchors, it seriously doesn't work like that.
However, self-help does offer readers, or sufferers of certain forms of abuse, the vocabulary to initiate conversation with themselves, others and overcome toxic personal patterns.
Read self-help, mindfully, but make sure you're actioning whatever it is you want to transcend.
When he said realizing that I am speck I had a huge relief in thinking that translates into things aren't such a big deal, laugh, take life lightly.
Usually I think of the words small or insignificant, so it's cool to feel that little evolution. 🥰
Just start, even if you don't have everything figured out. I've lost this message along the way, thanks for the reminder!
Most of you guys gave up and didn’t enjoy the process.
All these negative thoughts and comments show you did not take it seriously enough.
Action and don’t give up.
The secret was my first self help book, and it’s still relevant today.
It always surprises me when i hear people talking about how self help is trash and then continue the conversation by discussing how people can improve their lives. They say reading a self help book is counter productive because it makes you passive and prevents you taking action whilst making a podcast that is designed to be passively listened to and does the exact same thing. Self help is so ingrained in our culture everyone is doing their own version of it completely unaware. It all stems from the false assumption that free will exists and that you can meaningfully change your life through acts of will.
Also everyone wants to be a hero. That's why these awful super hero movies are so popular. And the modern way of being a hero (whilst making yourself rich and exerting minimal effort) is to advise other people on how to improve their lives.
How about podcasts? I think this one was the last one I will watch. It's the same thing as obsessively reading self help books. We think someone has found the magic key to illumination, high productivity, maximum performance, spiritual bliss, blah blah blah. But then you start to notice how many so called "teachers" are quite full of themselves. At some point we have to just trust ourselves to know what we need.
Hmmm, I listen to so many podcasts with the hope of improving myself and learning. However implementing them into my life is always very difficult. Be it what I learned from the neuroscience or the gut health and fasting guys, or some of the exercise and lifestyle podcasts. I understand that behaviour should come first and that's probably where I'm going wrong. However im left with all this knowledge but it turns into shame when I don't take action as a result of such knowledge. I dont want to stop listening to them but I find myself in a position some days where I'm like how can I fit the wim hof method, stretching, exercising, studying, working, being creative and planning/cooking healthy meals all whilst maintaining good personal and work relationships whilst managing my bipolar. There seems like endless choice and possibility to improve that it almost becomes an existential crisis, often leaving me feeling paralysed and lethargic, more driven towards doing nothing. I only have one life on this planet but so many potential paths and outcomes.
Bert Smith hey buddy I feel like you just described my life and I resonate with what you’re saying very strongly. Would love to connect with you outside the RUclips comment section haha! Shoot me a mail at adityakapooor11@gmail.com
I’ve been thinking about creating a community of sorts as I’m sure there are tons of more people out there who are exactly like us! Tired of this 1 way communication with all these podcast hosts
It's ok to read them--just as long as you are actually using the advice. The problem with the self help industry is that too many people believe that simple participation will fix their lives. IE "I read a Tony Robbins book and all will improve." Robbins gives excellent advice at times. And I'm sure that if one had thousands of dollars to throw away his seminars would be a positive experience. But the root of self help as I tell my own subscribers is this. Self. Most intuitively know that they have to have a positive mindset, have to have good strategy to advance and have to use massive effort. The self help gurus may be helpful in some aspects of turning your life around. Some strategical methods. But if you are spending all of your time reading book after book and chasing these gurus all the time on YT or around the country (including me) then you will never be focused on the actual advancement part. I'm only small time but this is my constant advice--take what works and discard what doesn't. You shouldn't be spending thousands of dollars when the real origin of change is in the mirror. Hope that helps someone out there--Charles.
Definitely life is luck and timing I always say. But you have to “do” also. IMO
I read somewhere. „Luck is when preparation meets opportunity“ which is very true i think
Yeah, its all mostly luck. Even just being able to be prepared was because you were lucky enough to have that genetics, be alive, have that information etc. If freewill doesnt exist then its even more just pure luck.
Luck i.e uncertainty is very alive everywhere. Doing and dedication is one thing . Life is too complicated to generalise.
@@sigma8112 True. But if u had to generalise, luck is the most important.
I think the message here is to just do it and don't be stuck with paralysis by analysis. But still, I think you should not take this message to the extreme.
The thing about reading is that, reading gives us better solutions than just going at it alone. Take for instance, me personally, I have a weaker emotional blindspot , have I not read about it, I wouldn't know how to comfort someone properly for my dear life or if I had not read about managing my emotions, I wouldn't know how to get out of an emotional rut quickly, which also really improved my life by a whole lot.
So I guess the thing is to make something concrete out of what you've read and not just keep reading the next thing and the next thing. But reading self help is still very much important and just need to balance it with creating tangible results.
If David Goggins read self help, you have no idea what he would do. Maybe he'd be carrying two boats by now.
Whatever. I read AND do. I like it. It works for me.
It’s tricky eg find one set of “gear” and go with it. OTOH a piece of advice that I heard on a video last night sounds like it make a big difference and I think there needs to be balance eg spend 80% doing and if you wish 20% time reading about better ways to do. FYI: advice was to set aside a place for eg reading/studying.
MMM totally love where you said optimization cuts out the Spirituality of the situation. Our "inadequacy" is often a form of resistance that can surprisingly serve us in the end. P.S. love your beard :)
The most important books i ever read on self-improvment are :
1:The game by Neil Strauss
2:the rules of the game :by Neil Strauss
3:The 48 laws of power :by Robert Greene
4: The art of seduction :by Robert Greene
5:The miracle morning :by Hal Elrod
6:The War of Art by :Steven Pressfield
7:The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up :by Marie Kondo
8:Goodbye things :by Fumio Sasaki
9:A Munks guide to a clean house and a clean mind :by Shoukei Matsumoto.
10:Rich dad poor dad: by Robert Kiyosaki
11: The Little Book of Common Sense Investing: by Jack Boogle.
12: Cant hurt me: by David Goggins. 11:
13: 12 rules of life, An antidote to chaos: By Jorden B Peterson.
14: Easy way to controll alcohol: By Allen Carr
15: Easy way to stopp smoking: By Allen Carr
16: Easy way to lose weight: By Allen Carr
17: How to Win Friends and Influence People: By Dale Carnegie
18: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People : By Stephen R. Covey
19: 7 things that change everything: by Jody Lamb
20: The life changeing magic of not giving a fuck: By Sara Knight
21: Don`t feed the monkey mind: by Jennifer Shannon
All of these books are important and have had a significant importans in my life and i am greatfull to all of the authors. I Am specially greatfull to the authors who have helped me to controll anxiety. The wisdom in them is complex and i have read and reread all of them all several times. At this point in life i have decluttered 98% of my books ( given them away). At some point there is just you and resistance/procrastination/monkey mind and the DAYLY battle against it. A skill is worth nothing if you dont grind and practise OVER TIME. The grind and the art of learning to love dicipline for its own sake and not to get external " resultes" is fucking important. The disipline IS the reward. And it is important at some point to see that you dont need to read more or to have more mentors and that you need to be your own " Hero", and see that we are in the end just humans. Great video and have a good day to all of you out there grinding ;-)
Did you not Listen to the points made?
I had been reading, listening to self help books and videos since 2015 and this is describing my efforts exactly.. 😊.. Lesson from this talk: jdi! Just do it!
Do it, just do it! Don’t let your dreams be dreams. Yesterday you said tomorrow. So just do it! Make your dreams come true. Just do it. Some people dream of success, while you’re going to wake up and work hard at it. Nothing is impossible… you should get to the point where anyone else would quit and you’re not going to stop there. NO! What are you waiting for?! DO IT! JUST DO IT! YES YOU CAN! JUST DO IT! If you’re tired of starting over, stop giving up.
Perhaps you have to read a few self help books to find the right path? I think they help a lot of people 😊
Agree!
Not one self help book helped me. They motivated me for a while, but for people like me who have other underlying problems, we only need a therapist and our meds (if applicable) lol I ended up beating myself up way too much on that "extreme self accountability" and spiraled more.
when it comes down to it all self help comes down to the same things: eat well, sleep enough and exercise, be organised and get things done, relax when you feel you need to. i feel like most people know these things, self help books just want your money
I think a self help resource should help get you out of the dark place in your life. Not be a reliable source for a career road map.
Shut up
@@manjitkapri1816 hahahah 🤣😂
Rich underestimates readers here - most people understand that self-improvement comes from putting the advice into practice after reading the book. For the readers that do this, good self-help can be a really helpful, cost-effective way of healing or improving themselves. The problem is that a lot of people lack the strength and application to take action after reading. In fact, most self-help books are started but never finished by readers. Sometimes 'going it alone' is not the solution - it's too difficult for some, or they don't want to change enough to actually do it.
Ironically, it's funny that they mention David Goggins, because he could actually DO with a good self-help book on compassion and true strength - maybe something on Buddhist tradition, because he ostensibly said in a podcast that he thinks smiling at strangers is a sign of weakness, poor guy! He actually took pride in saying he doesn't smile at them because he thinks a strong person doesn't cave to society's pressure to 'be nice', that a strong person doesn't care what people think of them. Nice try, Higgins, but you're obviously still at 'Level 1' for confidence (and still self-obsessed), because a TRULY strong person doesn't do that - unless a person seems like a threat, they smile, not because they care about being liked, because they want to put others at ease. They recognise that a smile (as long as it's not creepy or sinister) can change someone's day for the better. A truly strong and confident person has done enough work on themselves that they can focus on others. A self-help book is a fast-track way of learning this, because he may never learn this just being out in the world and doing what he's always done.
Well said gentlemen this is very true! It's in the action !
I might be misunderstanding what exactly a Self Help book is. But I enjoy listening to earl Nightingale or thinking grow ridge I typically lean more towards sales or marketing books. I think it's a great way to take in positive information and set your mind right 1st thing in the morning. Same reason I'm watching your Podcast at 7am
Love the Goggins comment Rich! 😁😂
Ironic considering that 90% of the time this channel is basically self-help
I've learned that no one has it figured out.
@wulfgar3000 1011000000000⁰00000000000⁰0
Right.....but the key is to not watch video after video or read millions of self help books, but to get out there in the real world and Do things........make a difference......
Well do u follow any self destruction channels on RUclips that u could give recommendations on? cause I don't.
Knowledge isn’t power until it is applied - Dale Carnegie
and OVER TIME
I've read so many self-help books. None of them worked.
The only that has ever worked was taking action. Failing and getting back up. That is worth 10 self-help books.
Books never did anything for me wither. Sadly, neither did taking action or anything else. Its all mostly luck tbh.
@@someonesomeone25 You get lucky by taking action. At least that is what my experience has taught me thus far.
@@thomasaraneta6061 I think that helps increase the odds in your favour, both for good and bad, yes. But some are doomed by every move being a check mate.
That advice is self help
This video was very impactful and has a lot of truths to it. Would recommend to anyone reading self help books, having read many myself.
I agree with implementing the wisdom after you read, as well as making a morning habit out of one, daily- this one seems very impactful and simple/actionable!
Thank you for the effort put into this video/the topic!
self help is like one of those fractal videos where you keep going in and in and it just keeps going inwards and inwards but doesn't get to an end point
Adam seems like a normal a cool dude. Cheers guys!
COVID quarantine is revealing just how much self-help literature I’ve used as a distraction and an illusion for myself.
same
@@loremipsum928 Me too 😭😭 I read worth of 230 books last year.
Why i should stop listening to these videos?
step 1 is overcoming the denial lolololol
Self-help is useful, we learn so much from the life experiences of others! Rich Roll for instance, I appreciate how Karno influenced u, how u transformed your life...
Analysis paralysis is the problem.
Self-help helped me a lot on the beginning....but several years later i become addicted to self-help and unable to live in real world. Such a mess :D
After all, all you need is books from Carnegie, and ignore all the people on YT who are just trying to sell you something.
I do agree there is nothing formulaic about how things ultimately work. For example there's a pretentious notion that we can have a handle on 'Karma' . It's utterly mysterious and has become a way to cast aspersions and to judge... And truly no one can really fathom its depths. There are consequences for certain actions so I'm sticking with the term consequences rather than to simply define Karma as A+B=C
This message was an eyeopener, me myself was already thinking about this subject for a while.
I mean why are we reading those self-help books right, i finaly know now.
For me personally it is to overcome a very ingrained physical health issue that i want to overcome, so by reading lots of books on health and optimalisation i thought i could fix this.. let me tell you no book wil literaly fix this for you by reading the health instructions and try to remind Them and trying them out, it's Just the great feeling you get when you're reading the book that it gives you strength and some power to overcome your own issues/problems in life... Just use it for an overal inspiration or discipline but never be a slave of the book.
paralysis by analysis.
The first step to change is awareness. The doing part is never done, never finished.
it is like saying: social media is bad in a facebook post !
Totally agree. It reminded me of the concept called “Spiritual Bypass”. Great episode!
Congratulations for 500k subscribers.
I think self help and personal development work is great taken in context.
Once there was a well known philosopher and scholar who devoted himself to the study of Zen for many years. On the day that he finally attained enlightenment he took all of his books out into the yard and burned them all.
Zen Buddhism Stories
I bought some books from guests on your podcast, but start with the one from James Clear, to form habits. And indeed in light of Huberman podcast and his recommended book molecule of more. Weirdly to listen to this now from you, but true.
A real step up for this podcast I think would be to get someone like Kevin Hart on. He's well-known to be one of the _most_ positive, can-do, motivated celebrities of the decade. It would be insightful to get a 1on1 between Rich and Kevin in this signature podcast style. We know Joe Rogan did it not too long ago, but Rich has a unique way of digging into the aspects of people that drive their self growth and spirituality.
What bout "can't hurt me?" By David goggins...I always wanted to read it but I wanna stay away from self help thing
Everyone should read Can't hurt me because that book is not about 5 steps to become successful bullshit..Its a pragmatic book based on Author's life experience.. Can't hurt me was my last self help book..never gonna read any other self help book..After reading that book I understood only action and mindset matters 🔥🔥
I had my cat listen to Can't Hurt Me and now he's a tiger.
I like your sarcasm :).
It's not a self help book. It's his story, and his thoughts and philosophies. It's very inspiring and makes you think about how you handle things in your life, which is useful. But I wouldn't call it a "do these things and stop sucking at life" book.
Everyone could use a little inspo and all these non-guru gurus like Roll or Ferriss or whoever tap into these needs, based on their own needs and help people find their own paths...
My sister is already $30K in 1 year buying self-help and personal growth courses and mentorships. Today she just bought another $10K course on self-image that they plugged during one of her ongoing mentorships, she doesn’t have all the money so she asked my mom to sell her car to pay for it.
Knowledge is fear. We feel we need to know before we start. This is a perfectionist mindset. Rather than being prepared we need to be willing
There is a false notion of fake it till you make it which doesn’t work for perfectionists. It’s pervasive because the current model of treating perfectionism is to eradicate it. And the idea of doing something in a mediocre way to get going doesn’t work for perfectionists
The analysis paralysis or procrastination that happens is because of fear. Being jacked up with emotion and too afraid to start. Procrastination is an emotional regulation issue and it won’t be helped with discipline
While action helps, the intention needs to be to learn, and that means getting the ego out of the way. Reframing negative thoughts helps because it gets you to a mindset where the brain can let go and you can focus on the action
Again, it’s emotional. But it’s also cognitive. The thought loop has to stop. Because emotions won’t stop. But we can disengage from constant thinking. When we break the loop the thoughts no longer feed the emotions and we can start to regulate them. This is usually the first step - stop thinking!
I really appreciate this noticing of the optimizing process being a representation of the tech of the ages, and therefore sort of unnatural.
I resonate with this deeply, Rich.
But i love self help books lol. It helped me evolved tbh.
Totally accept the point where action needs to be taken, rather than just consumption of self-help books. However, your taking action to create the podcast was probably founded on a lot of confidence you gained over the years and your name already being known- there was a high chance of it being successful. Many of us lack confidence and role models and are reluctant to take the first step, so reading about others’ experience where they have gained success can be very helpful. Also, Goggins may not have read a self help book, but he has written a very successful one. And your own book, Rich, could be looked on as self-help, as could your podcast.
You sound like you are making a lot of excuses.
Put goggins on, thats all u need
Hell yeah, that's the spirit. Unlocking Goggins is the way to go.
Self help advice for self help addicts. Brilliant!
The crime isn't the self-help book, the crime is not taking action.
Exactly. Its like reading all those "pick up" books and not picking up women. Learning how to draw but not drawing and more...
I have stopped consuming self help content and instead taking taking action and generally been more present. I stopped wasting so much time watching youtube videos.
Reading and learning are two different things. Reading without learning is a waste of time. Never stop learning.
Self help: Just start whatever you want to do, keep on, keep on, keep on... Rest a bit... keep on... done. Now start the next one.
Really interesting podcast. I personally find with clients that they are taking in information, but subconsciously there may be a pattern or deeper belief that prevents them from the doing. Also, you do not want to just do, but it needs to be intentional, you want to have some level of focus and understanding as to why you are doing something.
"The gratification comes in the doing, not in the results"- James Dean
Ever notice that the very people telling you to just follow your heart are either extremely-gifted, good-looking or charismatic and have already made it? Just my two cents.
No shit. Good looking people are most likely to be successful but is this true for Jeff Bezos? Bill Gates? Mike Tyson? Zuckerberg?. Also, obviously only the people who "made it" will say these things. Because they are taking huge risks by chasing after one single thing (music, art, etc). You have to be passionate (following your heart) in order to succeed and not burn out doing whatever you do.
STOP MAKING EXCUSES.
As always, love the content. A weird observation about the ending music, it feels like it gets under my fingernails... Like twisted forks or nails on a chalkboard. Very unsettling. Could be just me, or maybe there are others. Like how cilantro tastes different to some people? - Anyway Rich, much love & Namasté. KKJ
oh my! I've been thinking about this about my sister for a couple of years, I didn't realize it was a recognized thinG!
Why read when you could just fast your problems away?
So by relying on a self help book you're still not relying on yourself. I think that's what they're getting at.
Self-help is better than self-sabotage!
Thanks for the honesty
Damn Rich is looking dope!