Great reaction! I love that the comments don't seem to be focusing on the deli scene. It's very cool, but not so important that it should be the center of everything When Harry Met Sally. I also love what you said about the importance of having platonic friendships with members of the opposite sex and how not all men just want to screw every attractive woman possible. We all know that everyone is an individual, but sometimes we push that knowledge to the side and focus on generalities way too much. You gave us so many good points and really made me think. Thanks for the awesome video!
I didn’t watch this movie for the longest time because I hated that it pushed the “men and women can’t be friends” narrative. But honestly, it’s a lot more complex than that. Some people can’t be friends with the opposite sex (I have been very unsuccessful with hetero male friendships due to me being boy-crazy and one of my longest friends is male and gay) and others can. I’ve met so many girls who had mostly guy friends and I…just couldn’t understand. Mostly because guys thought I was “weird” and honestly, they still do, so I naturally have had many more fulfilling friendships with other women. Anyway, I do think concepts like this do corrupt the possibility of opposite sex friendships, but I do know that there are men out there that can be just friends with women. My husband is one of those men- he has a couple of female friends and they all know we’re together and married and there are no issues there. Another guy I know in grad school always talked about his wife and had female friends that also knew his wife and even hung out with her. So it really just depends on personality and how men think about relationships and their views on women.
"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." My favorite line of the movie.
You mentioned the double date where Jess and Marie hit it off, one of my favorite things about that scene is that the first opportunity they have to be together they take it. Like it's natural, they are two people that see what they want and go for it. Contrast that with Harry and Sally sort of living in denial over whether their relationship should be romantic. I always thought that was a clever aspect to the scene.
I am the type of guy who has had several close female friends in my lifetime. One of these asked me to accompany her and her lady friend to see Second City one time (I think they just needed the ride). This was in October of 1986. I honestly thought nothing of it; we laughed, and everyone had a good time. A few days later this friend phoned me to say that her friend "really liked me" and I should call her. "Really?" was my honest response. I was clueless. Long story short: I did call her. Four months later, on Valentine's Day, I proposed to her. One year and one month from the day we met, we were married. That Valentine's Day was 37 years ago yesterday, and we have two wonderful adult daughters and four precocious grandchildren. We love this movie, especially the little couples' vignettes. Keep up the good work, KL.
Carrie Fisher had begun her second career, side hustle by this time as a novelist and Hollywood script ghost writer and punch up scribe. Her wit and unique sardonic, castic voice is so very Fisher. She has said her proudest contribution to this film was in the scene where Sally asks if Harry is seeing anyone and Fisher just matter of factly cuts to the chase of it all and gives Sally the cliff-notes version: 'Yeah. Her name's Glenda. Statuesque. Beautiful. Big tits. Your basic nightmare.' I'm a guy and find the universal truth of that line relatable. Brilliant woman
In my not-so-humble opinion, the Greatest Rom-Com in Cinematic History and the movie that made Meg Ryan "America's Sweettheart" for several years. Cheers and Happy Wednesday Kaiielle. 🥃☮❤
21:35 R.I.P. to both Carrie Fisher and Bruno Kirby. Kirby was a fine character actor and very funny. Fisher will always be My Princess.🤩😍😢 24:33 The knowing look from Kai here... 🤣
I am NOT into romance movies what so ever, but I REALLY enjoyed watching this for the first time along side with you! Because of some of your commentary, I had to pause the movie because I just couldn't stop laughing haha. Their chemistry and story just seems so realistic and believable. I def want to watch this again!
This is my absolute favorite rom com. The great writing by Nora Ephron and the direction from Rob Reiner are perfect. I watch this movie at least once a year if not more, and I quote it all the time.
Billy was ad libbing the "we are going to talk like this" scene. When you see Meg glance to the side, she is looking at Rob Reiner like "What do I do now?" and Rob is saying "Just go with it!"
Bruno Kirby (RIP) was in City Slickers with Crystal, and also in Good Morning, Vietnam with Robin Williams, which is EXCELLENT if you havent seen it yet.
Great reaction. I absolutely love this movie. Not only are the conversations deep and thought provoking, but the humor is perfectly timed to lift us out of the heavy moments. People always ask what's your favorite movie, and I've always found it impossible to answer. So instead I took the old stranded on a desert island question and tweaked it to "If you could only watch 5 movies for the rest of your life what would they be?" This movie makes my list. I've have seen it so many times I can run it line for line and it has never gotten old.
This has got to be the most universally relatable rom com. Annie Hall with Woody Allen and Diane Keaton is great also, but not everyone can relate to Woody’s Neurotic humor. I totally do, but it’s not for everyone:)
When Harry Met Sally was a collaborative effort from director Rob Reiner, screenwriter Nora Ephron, and Billy Crystal. Reiner was going through a divorce and he would spend his evenings talking with Crystal on the phone, just like Harry and Sally watching Casablanca, and he shared those stories with Ephron, who took details from them and put them in the movie. Reiner was with Ephron when she placed an order like Sally does and he told her to put it in the movie. Years later, Ephron was on a plane and ordered a drink like that, and the woman sitting next to her asked her, "Have you ever seen When Harry Met Sally?" I think Carrie Fisher also did some uncredited script doctoring work on the movie, something she did on quite a few movies. Meg Ryan also contributed to the script in one of the movie's most memorable scenes. If I remember correctly, it was Reiner's suggestion for them to talk about fake Os, it was Ryan's suggestion that she act one out right in front of Harry, and then it was Crystal who came up with the line "I'll have what she's having." The woman who delivers the line is Reiner's mom and she got to watch as he, in his capacity as director, acted out what he wanted from Ryan before shooting the scene. The deli they're in is a real, legendary New York deli called Katz and you can sit at the table from the movie, which has a sign over it identifying it as the place where they filmed the scene. The interstitials with the couples were all based on real stories from real couples. They then took the stories and hired actors to perform them for the movie. When they're in the museum and Crystal is doing his "pecan pieee" voice, he was improvising that on the spot. Meg Ryan laughs at it and looks off to the side for a second. In the film, you think she's just looking to see if anyone is watching, but in reality she's looking at Reiner off camera, who waved at her to keep going with the improv. The scene with the two simultaneous phone calls was filmed "live" with Crystal and Ryan on phones off on separate areas of the stage that were really connected to the ones that Fisher and Kirby were talking on, and so the timing had to be perfect. They had already done quite a few takes (I think 30-something) when they got it all right up until after they'd hung up the phones and Kirby forgot one of his last lines. You're sort of correct that the movie could've ended either way. In the original screenplay, Ephron had them simply remaining friends, but after they tested it, ultimately she, Reiner, Crystal, and Ryan all agreed that while that ending might be more "realistic," in this case, the audience wanted the happy ending, so they changed it to what it is now. Can't wait until you do get to Casablanca. Honestly, even though this shows the ending, I don't think it will affect your enjoyment of that film; they actually cut out quite a bit and so I don't think it's actually that easy to understand what's going on just from this movie. Also, as the eternal champion of the underdog, I will also say that this is one of several famous Meg Ryan and/or Nora Ephron rom-coms -- Ryan later starred in Ephron's Sleepless in Seattle and You've Got Mail with Tom Hanks (and in fact the role of Harry was offered to Hanks) -- but I will also suggest Joe Versus the Volcano, an underrated movie by writer John Patrick Shanley, with Ryan in a role that stands out from the rest of her filmography in ways I won't spoil. Shanley also wrote the more famous, Oscar-winning Moonstruck (1987), directed by Norman Jewison, who recently passed away. If you end up wanting another love movie for February, that's worth a look, if just as a tribute to Jewison.
Thanks for all the info Tyler! I went back and watched the pecan pie moment in the movie and it's so obvious now. But I love how that kind of thing just blends right into a movie. And yes, the last few lines of Casablanca does not put me off from watching the whole thing. I'll def get to that someday! To your note of Hanks being offered this role, I can't see it! So I'm glad that didn't happen. Billy Crystal played this type of personality too well.
If memory serves me right, Hanks turned it down, because, incidentally, he himself had gone through a divorce from his first wife (in 1987) and was- albeit, briefly- content with single life. Not too long after, he married Rita Wilson, and, well, I guess you could say the rest is history - they're still happily married (at least I'd like to think so).
Rob Reiner has said in interviews that when he and Ephron wrote the screenplay, he had just divorced Penny Marshall and in a place in his life where he was resigned to the fact men and women really should stay friends and just let the human race die off. (to his credit, he always jokes right after: 'But, at least I wasn't bitter.') Reiner was convinced long term romantic love wasn't in the cards for him. And then, during the principle photography of the film, he met his future wife. He said if she hadn't restored his faith in love and hadn't met her when he did, the movie would still have the original ending (he had final cut). But, now in the bloom of love, Reiner was a believer again so didn't think a happy ending rang disingenuous and false anymore. For him and Nora, it was always about truth and, serendipitously, the truth lined up with the Hollywood ending. This film has actually gotten better with age. At the time, it was beloved out the gate, but originally considered diet Woody Allen. Interestingly, Woody's opus Annie Hall (still brilliant) feels dated despite its universal themes and the film When Harry Met Sally most gets compared to. But, now it feels like the more profound, contemporary statement on relationships that is in line with today's audiences than Hall is. Reiner, Ephron, Crystal and Ryan's Quadra-head singular voice still seems to have its finger on the modern pulse of the zeighest which is kind of amazing and miraculous that anything can leap frog across time; thirty plus years and still speak to an entire different generation and new world order yet remain oddly relevant. Y'know, I think those two crazy kids just might make it.
This is one of my favorites and I watch it at least once a year… I always find something interesting each time. I absolutely love the exploration of relationships and how people change over time. The way that Harry comes off as shallow in the beginning and develops by the end is satisfying. Meg Ryan is at her absolute best in this as well. Thank you for the reaction and honest comments. You seemed very genuine in how you relate to the material. Another great reaction!
One of the comedy romance classics. I love their chemistry in this movie and their back and forth playful banter. Another comedy/romance movie that gives me the same chemistry vibes as these two is As Good as It Gets with Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt. The other one is is Silver Linings Playbook 2012 (nommed best film) with Bradley Cooper (nommed best actor) and Jennifer Lawrence (Won Best Actress Oscar). 8 Total noms for that movie. It's such a different type of movie though with some interesting subject matter. Anyway, you've probably been seeing a lot of my comments pop up on your videos these last few days. Found you through Popcorn In Bed and going through some of your catalog! I like your commentary, things you add after the watch because you do some research after the fact and just more thought-provoking than a lot of other reactors. Edit: Saw you in the Hook reaction with her and never checked out your stuff, then YT randomly suggested you a couple days ago.
Oh yeah. Me and my theatre rat crew always had one thing about the movie that seemed like a missed opportunity. Tell me if you agree or not. But, the film's narrative structure of having the wonderful Greek chorus of elderly long wedded couples giving their two cents of how they met and fell in love was a great entire running time set up for the movie's very final scene showing Harry and Sally as the last talking heads married couple sharing their love story. But, what we talked about immediately as we were leaving the theatre then and maintained is: why did they have Crystal and Ryan play it as still young people? The set up of nothing but elderly long term married people throughout the movie seemed a natural pay off of having both actors in elderly make up playing Harry and Sally decades older recounting their complicated road to married bliss. Crystal had just done amazing prosthetics make up work in his bit part from Reiner's previous film two years earlier The Princess Bride so hilariously and effortlessly brilliant. He also played various elderly characters in heavy make up from his years on SNL. Ryan showed she was up for anything and could match Crystal beat for beat in improv. Its odd we always thought the payoff didn't have them like the rest of the presented couples in the twilight of their years. I've looked and never have found any explanation by Reiner why this was and nobody else seems to notice and we just come off as crazy. Which is besides the point. The scene obviously is still great and works. But, it's just ... it was. right. there.
My thoughts too, when I first saw I was about 18 too and my only critique was why weren’t they old. I think I’ve heard the reasoning was people might not realize it was them 🤦🏻♀️Such a silly reason. Definitely a top 10 movie for me🧡🖤🧡
28:57 You've got to appreciate those quiet moments, that give you a chance to breathe - Something you can remember fondly and hang on to, when everything comes at you full tilt.
The one couple in there, one of the interviews, reminded me of my parents. They were married and divorced 3 times. From each other. Speaking as a guy that’s always had female friends, like real friends, one since we were kids, often causes issues in relationships. Many women can’t handle it, they try to compete or get jealous, though the same can be true for men, but for me it’s been women. I won’t sacrifice my friends, they’ve gotten me through life and marriages ending, not gonna bail on them, and yes, some of them are women.
I really hope the men in these comments who are telling me "Yes, it's ALL MEN who want to have sex with all the women they know in their lives" see your comment because they're trying to tell me that all the male friends in my life have been lying to me our whole friendship. 😅 Thank you for sharing.
This was heavy influenced by what was going on in Nora Ephron and Rob Reiner’s lives at that time. Rob Reiner’s mother was the “I’ll have what she’s having” lady in the iconic deli scene. The pecan pie scene was improvised by Billy Crystal. You can see Meg Ryan laugh and look off-camera to seek direction, where she was urged to roll with it. I think you’re right, this movie is about so much more than just a love story, it’s about sexual tensions and roles in the 80s, it’s an evolution from just women and men dating to this movie really being about their friendships at the core of it. There is a reason why this movie has been iconic for 35 years and is so beloved today. It’s well written, acted superbly and was so different at the time it was released. Sadly, we’ve since lost Carrie Fisher and Bruno Kirby, but they were just as important to the story as Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal.
15:39, I've always been of the opinion if you feel the need to fake you don't respect the person you are with. But not only you that you are cheating yourself. Mature people are able to communicate their needs and wants.
This is one of the very VERY few movies that can make me tear up and it does it every time, even just watching this reaction I had tears start at "When you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with someone..." so great to see you enjoy it so much and also relate to sections made this a fun watch Another one that gets me and you would likely enjoy is The American President
Great Reaction..... All the old Couples sprinkled through the movie, are converations told to Nora Ephron, But were shot with actors.... "I'll have what she's having" is the director Rob Reiner Mother.... (I pretty sure someone else mentioned this).... The 4 way phone converstion is one long shot, It only took them over 60 takes to get the one for the movie.....
If you want to watch another Billy Crystal movie where he has this much great banter and chemistry with another actor. Gregory Hines is that actor. The 2 of them together in "Running Scared"(1986). One of the best buddy cop movies. Another great classic Rom-Com "The Goodbye Girl"(1977). The first Rom-Com to make $100 Million.
Sally's method of ordering was actually something writer Nora Ephron did when she and director Rob Reiner were out eating. He said this HAS to go in the movie. I can't remember the interview he said this in, but it's on RUclips somewhere.
An article in the October 1989 issue of Premier magazine explains why this is one of my favorite deja vu films: At least 16 story elements in this film had already appeared in Woody Allen’s ANNIE HALL and MANHATTAN.
I really enjoyed this reaction. Great points made like I said, it definitely feels like a real conversation. I won't bore you with details lol but I've been in the friends with feelings thing and the uhm complications of it. I'll watch what she s watching.
You have no idea how long and how hard the audience was laughing when I saw this opening weekend and the "I'll have what she's having"'line dropped. Popcorn went flying all over the theater.
For another great movie with Billy Crystal and Bruno Kirby, check out City Slickers. Heartwarming and funny, and it also features some great conversations and life lessons. 🤠
One of the few romcoms of that time that I actually like to rewatch every now and then, cause even though not everything aged well, it doesn't feel as toxic as so many others, especially those that came later and should know better. Probably the main reason tho is that my face lights up every time Carrie is in a scene :D
When Harry Met Sally is definitely a top favorite of mine that I'm looking forward to watching. I like older Romcom movies like this. Hope you're having a realistic but solid start to your day Kaiielle
Great reaction vid. This came up in my RUclips and I had to click since When Harry Met Sally is one of my favorite movies of all time. Can you do a reaction video to Call Me By Your Name?
For me, this movie is a great example of good filmmaking. The mundane dialogs and yet really interesting slices of life. The chronology and the awesome characters. The sutil jokes and comic little things here and there. I felt as if the recipe for this movie was on point in every single aspect. I love this movie since I was a teenager and I'm a guy that rarely whatches this kind of movie.
You'd really enjoy the Before trilogy! I've reacted to them here on the channel, but they're so dialogue heavy that I had to cut out so much of the conversations. Def recommend giving them a watch.
23:40 She should be thanking her lucky stars they didn't get married and THEN found out they didn't want the same things out of the relationship. But I guess that's not always easy to see when you get news like that.
Your reaction to this iconic romance was very nostalgic. This is probably my favorite romcom of all time. I agree with your assessment. It’s so much more than the question, does sex always ruin a friendship. It’s just a very well told story of two people who fall in love.
Bless you for posting this today. It's been one of "those" days. I'm going to watch this and then moan myself to sleep. "Hmmm... Hmmm... Hmmm... Hmmm... Hmmm... "
Great movie choice for the holiday! 💘 Ok I’ve been so curious and have to ask…what is the light wall decor behind you?! I love it! Even cuter that you can add a design. 😊
Hey there! The light wall is the 600pc string lights product by the brand Twinkly! It comes with an app and is completely customizable. I'm actually considering moving that light wall to another room in my house and buying one of Twinkly's newer light products that wasn't out at the time that I bought the 600pc lights.
@@kaiielle Oh sweet! It’s always caught my eye when watching your videos. It gives a cozy feel. I love twinkle lights and have a couple strings in my home as accents. Def checking out Twinkly’s. ✌️
I remember thinking that Meg Ryan was a lock for an Oscar nomination with this role. It was the perfect "Meg Ryan" performance (even more obviously appealing and award-worthy than Diane Keaton's in "Annie Hall" or Cher's in "Moonstruck"). She didn't make the cut, though she did get a Golden Globe nomination. Nora Ephron's script was the only Oscar nomination. Meg Ryan was such a star through the late '80s and into the '90s but then seemed to fade out without really peaking, possibly because she did something to alter her baby-faced looks a bit. She never found her groove again though she's continued to work.
imo, this is the movie that killed romantic comedies. this was it. that's all that was needed. nothing else can compare. "you were going to be a gymnast." lmfao - i don't buy that men are telling me they don't want to have sex with me = women have never faked it with me. and yes, times have changed but that just means dudes have to bury it deeper. but i do disagree with harry that all men want to bang chicks they're not attracted to... like wtf is THAT? lol. imo, that's just a joke with no basis in reality. so there ARE circumstances where they can be friends. - bruno kirby - you gotta watch city slickers. continues the pairing with billy crystal and it's another classic. - meg ryan - joe vs. the volcano - peak tom hanks and it's not a classic for most but it is for me.... really super weirdo movie that's amazing if you're in the right mood.
The older that I get, the more I'm convinced that men and women are almost "better" just always being friends. Sexual attraction always seems to have some degree of selfishness inherent to it, and the moment that two friends start wanting, expecting, or feeling entitled to something from each other seems to be when the friendship starts to sour. This is still a classic movie that I love, and I certainly wish that friendship-to-romance as portrayed in this movie was the norm instead of the exception.
Honestly Nick, I really agree with you on this. Romantic and sexual desire will always exist in a lot of us, but there is something so rewarding about a friendship and friendships dissolving can often be more emotionally devastating than a relationship ending.
I notice how everybody notices Harry's statement about men and women not being able to be friends, and yet their minds seem to brush over his earlier statement : "can't a man say that a woman is attractive without it being a come on?" The two statements seem at odds with each other, and I think this was deliberate by the brilliant Nora Ephron in her script.
So Harry was right - the Sex Thing DID get in the way. And he's right that we straight guys WANT to have sex with the women we know. Now, most of us are capable of accepting that it's not ever happening and not being jerks about it. But all things considered, we would absolutely get it on. Ultimately, i I no longer believe in love or friendship - at least not for me. I could come up with lots of reasons but the truth is that I will never, ever risk the kind of pain that came with my Divorce. For me, It's just not worth it. Those friends of yours absolutely wanted to sleep with you. They were just good enough friends that the never tried.
You've really wanted to sleep with every woman you've known? You believe that the quality of a good male friend for a woman is someone who simply doesn't try to sleep with her? 🫠🫠 Well, I'm not surprised to hear that you're divorced!
@@kaiielle obviously I didn't attempt to sleep with every woman I've ever known. I've only slept with one woman. Unfortunately, she can say the same thing - she's only slept with one woman. And since I believe we're only allowed one sex partner per lifetime, I'm retired from relationships - including friendships of any gender. I refuse to risk any more pain.
I don't think it's impossible for a man and woman to be friends. I DO think that it's impossible for most men and most women to be friends. The only way it works is if you have an actual foundation of friendship. Pretty simple. Ask yourself, "would I be friends with this man/woman if they were a woman/man?" (Bisexuals, do your own thing.) And you gotta have The Talk. It's unreasonable to expect a person to be attracted to you and just keep it to him or herself if you are truly friends. If you are truly friends, the attractor should be able to communicate his or her feelings to the attractee, and the attractee should be able to handle it, communicate her or his side, and then both should be able to respect the other's feeling and boundaries going forward. If you can't, be honest about that too. The sad fact is that most people are just not great communicators.
I hate to burst your bubble. But all men think or have thought like this this on some level. Btw, men and women can't be purely friends. No man or woman should maintain an independent friendship with a person of the opposite sex, when they are in a committed relationship with someone else.
@kaiielle doesn't make it less true. Now, the men in your life may not admit it. Most likely it isn't relevant to your relationship. Maybe they love their spouse/girlfriend and don't want to think about risking it. That doesn't mean the assessment, which is almost entirely automatic, didn't occur. Btw, I think most women do this as well. Likely it could be more subconscious. But we assess everyone we meet. All of that goes in to what we think of them. Including whether they are worthy of becoming a mate. What we do with that information is the questions lie.
We're not talking about initial assessments of people. I agree with what you've said, but that's not the focus here. We are discussing straight men and women and you're telling me that men will always be sexually motivated by women and that's why a friendship can never be "true" or "pure" or whatever we want to call it. Hearing "All men are like this, sorry." about sex is interesting when us women have been hearing for years now, "Not all men! Don't paint us with the same brush!" about a different version of sex. The latter is about sexual coercion and assault and is a much more serious issue. But how are we supposed to believe that not all men are capable of sexually harming us when supposedly all of them want to have sex with us and can't stop thinking about it and that's why we supposedly can't be friends? Basically I am "Not all men" with this situation because I know that to be true and I don't want to paint all men with the same brush. I am so grateful to have known and continue to know men who can control their thoughts like they control their actions, who have emotional regulation and intelligence, who may *initially* assess women sexually upon first meeting them (as you mentioned humans do), but don't stay on those thoughts continuously as the friendship between them progresses, who don't always have it in the back of their mind. This is how I define a strong man. The men that are capable of this actually see us as people and not just something to get sexual pleasure from.
Has anyone mentioned that Billy was improvising the whole 'pecan pie' conversation ? Watch again and you'll see Meg genuinely started to laugh and turn to Rob Reiner expecting him to call a cut but he was loving it and gestured to keep it going. Genius directing, genius acting and a genius film. In my top 10 for Billy's final monologue to Meg about wanting to start your life with someone straight away. Love it.
I was 18 when this came out (so adult-ish?) and it was clear that men and women could be friends. And sure, some women I've been friends with I've also been attracted to, but part of being a functioning adult in society is not necessarily acting on every emotion you feel. And often friendship trumps romance. Romantic relationships fail quite often and they can take out the friendship too. I'm friends with nearly all my ex's but it does strain friendships. Several times I've decided that I just wanted the friendship more.
You should know that all of those other couples in the movie were actors; HOWEVER, the stories are 100% genuine. The woman who says "I'll have what she's having" is the director, Rob Reiner's, mother and was married to Carl Reiner (if you know who that was).
Moonstruck, 1987! You won't regret it. It's like a Rom-Com crossed with an opera crossed with big Italian family, and even though it won Oscars it's still underrated.
One of my all time favorite movies. I read that the scene right after they have sex and both call their friends on the phone took 63 takes to get right.
Great reaction! I love that the comments don't seem to be focusing on the deli scene. It's very cool, but not so important that it should be the center of everything When Harry Met Sally. I also love what you said about the importance of having platonic friendships with members of the opposite sex and how not all men just want to screw every attractive woman possible. We all know that everyone is an individual, but sometimes we push that knowledge to the side and focus on generalities way too much. You gave us so many good points and really made me think. Thanks for the awesome video!
Thanks for this comment! Appreciate it.
Oh the great Carrie Fisher in this movie so good
@@kaiielleYou might try _The Year of Living Dangerously_ with Sigourney Weaver and Mel Gibson. It's exactly your kind of film.
I didn’t watch this movie for the longest time because I hated that it pushed the “men and women can’t be friends” narrative. But honestly, it’s a lot more complex than that. Some people can’t be friends with the opposite sex (I have been very unsuccessful with hetero male friendships due to me being boy-crazy and one of my longest friends is male and gay) and others can. I’ve met so many girls who had mostly guy friends and I…just couldn’t understand. Mostly because guys thought I was “weird” and honestly, they still do, so I naturally have had many more fulfilling friendships with other women.
Anyway, I do think concepts like this do corrupt the possibility of opposite sex friendships, but I do know that there are men out there that can be just friends with women. My husband is one of those men- he has a couple of female friends and they all know we’re together and married and there are no issues there. Another guy I know in grad school always talked about his wife and had female friends that also knew his wife and even hung out with her. So it really just depends on personality and how men think about relationships and their views on women.
"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." My favorite line of the movie.
It's SUCH A GOOD ONE AHHHH!! Love it.
@@denanebergall5514 mine too
You mentioned the double date where Jess and Marie hit it off, one of my favorite things about that scene is that the first opportunity they have to be together they take it. Like it's natural, they are two people that see what they want and go for it. Contrast that with Harry and Sally sort of living in denial over whether their relationship should be romantic. I always thought that was a clever aspect to the scene.
Oh yes, thank you for pointing that out!!! I didn't piece that together myself fully.
I am the type of guy who has had several close female friends in my lifetime. One of these asked me to accompany her and her lady friend to see Second City one time (I think they just needed the ride). This was in October of 1986. I honestly thought nothing of it; we laughed, and everyone had a good time. A few days later this friend phoned me to say that her friend "really liked me" and I should call her. "Really?" was my honest response. I was clueless. Long story short: I did call her. Four months later, on Valentine's Day, I proposed to her. One year and one month from the day we met, we were married. That Valentine's Day was 37 years ago yesterday, and we have two wonderful adult daughters and four precocious grandchildren. We love this movie, especially the little couples' vignettes. Keep up the good work, KL.
Thanks for sharing, that's awesome!
Carrie Fisher had begun her second career, side hustle by this time as a novelist and Hollywood script ghost writer and punch up scribe. Her wit and unique sardonic, castic voice is so very Fisher. She has said her proudest contribution to this film was in the scene where Sally asks if Harry is seeing anyone and Fisher just matter of factly cuts to the chase of it all and gives Sally the cliff-notes version: 'Yeah. Her name's Glenda. Statuesque. Beautiful. Big tits. Your basic nightmare.'
I'm a guy and find the universal truth of that line relatable.
Brilliant woman
Brilliant
Love the outfits, too, but I really want every single APARTMENT in this movie😂
Not just the apartments but the price of them from back then 🤣
In my not-so-humble opinion, the Greatest Rom-Com in Cinematic History and the movie that made Meg Ryan "America's Sweettheart" for several years.
Cheers and Happy Wednesday Kaiielle. 🥃☮❤
21:35 R.I.P. to both Carrie Fisher and Bruno Kirby. Kirby was a fine character actor and very funny. Fisher will always be My Princess.🤩😍😢
24:33 The knowing look from Kai here... 🤣
Great script , perfectly cast , the two leads work well and Carrie Fisher is great .
I am NOT into romance movies what so ever, but I REALLY enjoyed watching this for the first time along side with you! Because of some of your commentary, I had to pause the movie because I just couldn't stop laughing haha. Their chemistry and story just seems so realistic and believable. I def want to watch this again!
I love the quick lines back and forth.
This is my absolute favorite rom com. The great writing by Nora Ephron and the direction from Rob Reiner are perfect. I watch this movie at least once a year if not more, and I quote it all the time.
Billy was ad libbing the "we are going to talk like this" scene. When you see Meg glance to the side, she is looking at Rob Reiner like "What do I do now?" and Rob is saying "Just go with it!"
Bruno Kirby (RIP) was in City Slickers with Crystal, and also in Good Morning, Vietnam with Robin Williams, which is EXCELLENT if you havent seen it yet.
Also, Kirby played young Clemenza in The Godfather Part II
Great reaction. I absolutely love this movie. Not only are the conversations deep and thought provoking, but the humor is perfectly timed to lift us out of the heavy moments. People always ask what's your favorite movie, and I've always found it impossible to answer. So instead I took the old stranded on a desert island question and tweaked it to "If you could only watch 5 movies for the rest of your life what would they be?" This movie makes my list. I've have seen it so many times I can run it line for line and it has never gotten old.
I love that! Thanks for sharing.
The Rom-Com that set the standard for every Rom-Com ever made. Great reaction!!
This movie is the "Godfather" of rom-coms. Great reaction
This has got to be the most universally relatable rom com. Annie Hall with Woody Allen and Diane Keaton is great also, but not everyone can relate to Woody’s Neurotic humor. I totally do, but it’s not for everyone:)
When Harry Met Sally was a collaborative effort from director Rob Reiner, screenwriter Nora Ephron, and Billy Crystal. Reiner was going through a divorce and he would spend his evenings talking with Crystal on the phone, just like Harry and Sally watching Casablanca, and he shared those stories with Ephron, who took details from them and put them in the movie. Reiner was with Ephron when she placed an order like Sally does and he told her to put it in the movie. Years later, Ephron was on a plane and ordered a drink like that, and the woman sitting next to her asked her, "Have you ever seen When Harry Met Sally?" I think Carrie Fisher also did some uncredited script doctoring work on the movie, something she did on quite a few movies.
Meg Ryan also contributed to the script in one of the movie's most memorable scenes. If I remember correctly, it was Reiner's suggestion for them to talk about fake Os, it was Ryan's suggestion that she act one out right in front of Harry, and then it was Crystal who came up with the line "I'll have what she's having." The woman who delivers the line is Reiner's mom and she got to watch as he, in his capacity as director, acted out what he wanted from Ryan before shooting the scene. The deli they're in is a real, legendary New York deli called Katz and you can sit at the table from the movie, which has a sign over it identifying it as the place where they filmed the scene.
The interstitials with the couples were all based on real stories from real couples. They then took the stories and hired actors to perform them for the movie.
When they're in the museum and Crystal is doing his "pecan pieee" voice, he was improvising that on the spot. Meg Ryan laughs at it and looks off to the side for a second. In the film, you think she's just looking to see if anyone is watching, but in reality she's looking at Reiner off camera, who waved at her to keep going with the improv.
The scene with the two simultaneous phone calls was filmed "live" with Crystal and Ryan on phones off on separate areas of the stage that were really connected to the ones that Fisher and Kirby were talking on, and so the timing had to be perfect. They had already done quite a few takes (I think 30-something) when they got it all right up until after they'd hung up the phones and Kirby forgot one of his last lines.
You're sort of correct that the movie could've ended either way. In the original screenplay, Ephron had them simply remaining friends, but after they tested it, ultimately she, Reiner, Crystal, and Ryan all agreed that while that ending might be more "realistic," in this case, the audience wanted the happy ending, so they changed it to what it is now.
Can't wait until you do get to Casablanca. Honestly, even though this shows the ending, I don't think it will affect your enjoyment of that film; they actually cut out quite a bit and so I don't think it's actually that easy to understand what's going on just from this movie. Also, as the eternal champion of the underdog, I will also say that this is one of several famous Meg Ryan and/or Nora Ephron rom-coms -- Ryan later starred in Ephron's Sleepless in Seattle and You've Got Mail with Tom Hanks (and in fact the role of Harry was offered to Hanks) -- but I will also suggest Joe Versus the Volcano, an underrated movie by writer John Patrick Shanley, with Ryan in a role that stands out from the rest of her filmography in ways I won't spoil. Shanley also wrote the more famous, Oscar-winning Moonstruck (1987), directed by Norman Jewison, who recently passed away. If you end up wanting another love movie for February, that's worth a look, if just as a tribute to Jewison.
Thanks for all the info Tyler! I went back and watched the pecan pie moment in the movie and it's so obvious now. But I love how that kind of thing just blends right into a movie. And yes, the last few lines of Casablanca does not put me off from watching the whole thing. I'll def get to that someday! To your note of Hanks being offered this role, I can't see it! So I'm glad that didn't happen. Billy Crystal played this type of personality too well.
If memory serves me right, Hanks turned it down, because, incidentally, he himself had gone through a divorce from his first wife (in 1987) and was- albeit, briefly- content with single life. Not too long after, he married Rita Wilson, and, well, I guess you could say the rest is history - they're still happily married (at least I'd like to think so).
Rob Reiner has said in interviews that when he and Ephron wrote the screenplay, he had just divorced Penny Marshall and in a place in his life where he was resigned to the fact men and women really should stay friends and just let the human race die off. (to his credit, he always jokes right after: 'But, at least I wasn't bitter.') Reiner was convinced long term romantic love wasn't in the cards for him. And then, during the principle photography of the film, he met his future wife. He said if she hadn't restored his faith in love and hadn't met her when he did, the movie would still have the original ending (he had final cut). But, now in the bloom of love, Reiner was a believer again so didn't think a happy ending rang disingenuous and false anymore. For him and Nora, it was always about truth and, serendipitously, the truth lined up with the Hollywood ending.
This film has actually gotten better with age. At the time, it was beloved out the gate, but originally considered diet Woody Allen. Interestingly, Woody's opus Annie Hall (still brilliant) feels dated despite its universal themes and the film When Harry Met Sally most gets compared to. But, now it feels like the more profound, contemporary statement on relationships that is in line with today's audiences than Hall is. Reiner, Ephron, Crystal and Ryan's Quadra-head singular voice still seems to have its finger on the modern pulse of the zeighest which is kind of amazing and miraculous that anything can leap frog across time; thirty plus years and still speak to an entire different generation and new world order yet remain oddly relevant.
Y'know, I think those two crazy kids just might make it.
This is one of my favorites and I watch it at least once a year… I always find something interesting each time. I absolutely love the exploration of relationships and how people change over time. The way that Harry comes off as shallow in the beginning and develops by the end is satisfying. Meg Ryan is at her absolute best in this as well. Thank you for the reaction and honest comments. You seemed very genuine in how you relate to the material. Another great reaction!
The way she was talking about ruining friendships with sex and how complicated it gets, I was just laughing cuz I'm like "this sounds personal."
You'd be right!
Rob Reiner's mom has a cameo in the scene where she says, "I'll have what she's having."
One of the comedy romance classics. I love their chemistry in this movie and their back and forth playful banter. Another comedy/romance movie that gives me the same chemistry vibes as these two is As Good as It Gets with Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt. The other one is is Silver Linings Playbook 2012 (nommed best film) with Bradley Cooper (nommed best actor) and Jennifer Lawrence (Won Best Actress Oscar). 8 Total noms for that movie. It's such a different type of movie though with some interesting subject matter. Anyway, you've probably been seeing a lot of my comments pop up on your videos these last few days. Found you through Popcorn In Bed and going through some of your catalog! I like your commentary, things you add after the watch because you do some research after the fact and just more thought-provoking than a lot of other reactors.
Edit: Saw you in the Hook reaction with her and never checked out your stuff, then YT randomly suggested you a couple days ago.
Oh yeah. Me and my theatre rat crew always had one thing about the movie that seemed like a missed opportunity. Tell me if you agree or not. But, the film's narrative structure of having the wonderful Greek chorus of elderly long wedded couples giving their two cents of how they met and fell in love was a great entire running time set up for the movie's very final scene showing Harry and Sally as the last talking heads married couple sharing their love story.
But, what we talked about immediately as we were leaving the theatre then and maintained is: why did they have Crystal and Ryan play it as still young people? The set up of nothing but elderly long term married people throughout the movie seemed a natural pay off of having both actors in elderly make up playing Harry and Sally decades older recounting their complicated road to married bliss. Crystal had just done amazing prosthetics make up work in his bit part from Reiner's previous film two years earlier The Princess Bride so hilariously and effortlessly brilliant. He also played various elderly characters in heavy make up from his years on SNL. Ryan showed she was up for anything and could match Crystal beat for beat in improv. Its odd we always thought the payoff didn't have them like the rest of the presented couples in the twilight of their years. I've looked and never have found any explanation by Reiner why this was and nobody else seems to notice and we just come off as crazy. Which is besides the point. The scene obviously is still great and works. But, it's just ... it was. right. there.
My thoughts too, when I first saw I was about 18 too and my only critique was why weren’t they old. I think I’ve heard the reasoning was people might not realize it was them 🤦🏻♀️Such a silly reason. Definitely a top 10 movie for me🧡🖤🧡
28:57 You've got to appreciate those quiet moments, that give you a chance to breathe - Something you can remember fondly and hang on to, when everything comes at you full tilt.
Easily my favorite rom com. For better or worse it shaped how I view relationships. I'm a sucker for good banter...
This one is a good one for that!
The one couple in there, one of the interviews, reminded me of my parents. They were married and divorced 3 times. From each other.
Speaking as a guy that’s always had female friends, like real friends, one since we were kids, often causes issues in relationships. Many women can’t handle it, they try to compete or get jealous, though the same can be true for men, but for me it’s been women. I won’t sacrifice my friends, they’ve gotten me through life and marriages ending, not gonna bail on them, and yes, some of them are women.
I really hope the men in these comments who are telling me "Yes, it's ALL MEN who want to have sex with all the women they know in their lives" see your comment because they're trying to tell me that all the male friends in my life have been lying to me our whole friendship. 😅 Thank you for sharing.
The Quick back and forth banter between Billy Crystal & meg Ryan is priceless
"I haven't seen the movie they're watching". I'm old, but when you say that about "Casablanca" I feel REALLY old. 😂
I'm sorry!!! 😂
The dialogue in this film is just excellent, and never gets old on rewatches. Thanks for this one, KL.
Late actor Bruno Kirby played a young Clemenza in Godfather 2.
the soundtrack is great too
This was heavy influenced by what was going on in Nora Ephron and Rob Reiner’s lives at that time. Rob Reiner’s mother was the “I’ll have what she’s having” lady in the iconic deli scene. The pecan pie scene was improvised by Billy Crystal. You can see Meg Ryan laugh and look off-camera to seek direction, where she was urged to roll with it. I think you’re right, this movie is about so much more than just a love story, it’s about sexual tensions and roles in the 80s, it’s an evolution from just women and men dating to this movie really being about their friendships at the core of it. There is a reason why this movie has been iconic for 35 years and is so beloved today. It’s well written, acted superbly and was so different at the time it was released. Sadly, we’ve since lost Carrie Fisher and Bruno Kirby, but they were just as important to the story as Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal.
One of my favorite rom coms. Love this movie.
Oh this came at the perfect time when I had just made myself a plate of food 😂
A movie "kinda like" this one, but with College students: *"The Sure Thing"* _(1985),_ with John Cusack and Daphne Zuniga.
My favorite rom-com of all time. Great one liners, courtesy of Rob Reiner's humor. Nice review. You're better than most. Good amount of interjection.
I'm guilty of the White Man overbite, on many a dance floor until I saw this movie..😂
15:39, I've always been of the opinion if you feel the need to fake you don't respect the person you are with. But not only you that you are cheating yourself. Mature people are able to communicate their needs and wants.
This is one of the very VERY few movies that can make me tear up and it does it every time, even just watching this reaction I had tears start at "When you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with someone..." so great to see you enjoy it so much and also relate to sections made this a fun watch
Another one that gets me and you would likely enjoy is The American President
One of the rare chicj flicks that guys liked to.
Great Reaction.....
All the old Couples sprinkled through the movie, are converations told to Nora Ephron, But were shot with actors....
"I'll have what she's having" is the director Rob Reiner Mother.... (I pretty sure someone else mentioned this)....
The 4 way phone converstion is one long shot, It only took them over 60 takes to get the one for the movie.....
Great choice for Valentines. My favorite Billy Crystal movie is City Slickers. Hopefully that will someday make it to the channel.
24:06 Love that line - That's so her character:)
The woman in the café that said I’ll have what she’s having is Rob Reiner‘s mom
If you want to watch another Billy Crystal movie where he has this much great banter and chemistry with another actor. Gregory Hines is that actor. The 2 of them together in "Running Scared"(1986). One of the best buddy cop movies. Another great classic Rom-Com "The Goodbye Girl"(1977). The first Rom-Com to make $100 Million.
Sally's method of ordering was actually something writer Nora Ephron did when she and director Rob Reiner were out eating. He said this HAS to go in the movie. I can't remember the interview he said this in, but it's on RUclips somewhere.
Perfect reaction, perfect editing. Saved to library.
Thank you so much!
An article in the October 1989 issue of Premier magazine explains why this is one of my favorite deja vu films: At least 16 story elements in this film had already appeared in Woody Allen’s ANNIE HALL and MANHATTAN.
I really enjoyed this reaction. Great points made like I said, it definitely feels like a real conversation. I won't bore you with details lol but I've been in the friends with feelings thing and the uhm complications of it. I'll watch what she s watching.
You have no idea how long and how hard the audience was laughing when I saw this opening weekend and the "I'll have what she's having"'line dropped. Popcorn went flying all over the theater.
I bet!! I can imagine how hilarious that would have been to experience.
Your reaction was great, on the side! 😃😃
Yes, you should definitely react to "Casablanca!".
For another great movie with Billy Crystal and Bruno Kirby, check out City Slickers. Heartwarming and funny, and it also features some great conversations and life lessons. 🤠
One of the few romcoms of that time that I actually like to rewatch every now and then, cause even though not everything aged well, it doesn't feel as toxic as so many others, especially those that came later and should know better.
Probably the main reason tho is that my face lights up every time Carrie is in a scene :D
When Harry Met Sally is definitely a top favorite of mine that I'm looking forward to watching. I like older Romcom movies like this. Hope you're having a realistic but solid start to your day Kaiielle
This and Serendipity (2001) are my favorite Romance movies. You will love it.
Say, for another delightful film with a virtual rainbow of Meg Ryan hair, please check out "Joe Versus The Volcano".
You HAVE to watch Casablanca - I think you'll love it. The writing is next level.
Time for my favorite of the Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan movies: Joe vs the Volcano.
I don't know if KL does premiers of her uploads. I watch her reactions for her incredible smile and her incredible heart..That is why I watch them.
Yes, I do premieres! You left this comment shortly after it ended.
Great reaction vid. This came up in my RUclips and I had to click since When Harry Met Sally is one of my favorite movies of all time. Can you do a reaction video to Call Me By Your Name?
For me, this movie is a great example of good filmmaking. The mundane dialogs and yet really interesting slices of life. The chronology and the awesome characters. The sutil jokes and comic little things here and there. I felt as if the recipe for this movie was on point in every single aspect. I love this movie since I was a teenager and I'm a guy that rarely whatches this kind of movie.
You'd really enjoy the Before trilogy! I've reacted to them here on the channel, but they're so dialogue heavy that I had to cut out so much of the conversations. Def recommend giving them a watch.
@@kaiielle I will! Thx!
It’s a crime that you have not watched Casablanca!!! Please please pleaseeeee watch it for the channel!!!!
I will! Just not sure when, but I'll schedule it sometime this year.
Please, please watch Casablanca as well. Although this is my Favorite, An Affair to Remember and Sleepless in Seattle are great.
23:40 She should be thanking her lucky stars they didn't get married and THEN found out they didn't want the same things out of the relationship. But I guess that's not always easy to see when you get news like that.
Love this movie!
Your reaction to this iconic romance was very nostalgic. This is probably my favorite romcom of all time. I agree with your assessment. It’s so much more than the question, does sex always ruin a friendship. It’s just a very well told story of two people who fall in love.
Watch Casablanca soon!
Bless you for posting this today. It's been one of "those" days. I'm going to watch this and then moan myself to sleep. "Hmmm... Hmmm... Hmmm... Hmmm... Hmmm... "
I think you'd like another Meg Ryan movie that isn't reviewed too often, French Kiss with Kevin Kline.
Nora Ephron was a genius.
Please react to Undrrated Movie starring *Billy Crystal*
★ - *Analyze This* (1999) _/starring _*_Robert De Niro_*_ & _*_Billy Crystal_*
★ - *Analyze That* (2002) /sequel Even Better!
BONUS TRACK (black comedy)
✦ *Throw Momma from the Train* (1987)
starrring *Danny DeVito* & *Billy Crystal*
Directed by *Danny DeVito*
Great movie choice for the holiday! 💘 Ok I’ve been so curious and have to ask…what is the light wall decor behind you?! I love it! Even cuter that you can add a design. 😊
Hey there! The light wall is the 600pc string lights product by the brand Twinkly! It comes with an app and is completely customizable. I'm actually considering moving that light wall to another room in my house and buying one of Twinkly's newer light products that wasn't out at the time that I bought the 600pc lights.
@@kaiielle Oh sweet! It’s always caught my eye when watching your videos. It gives a cozy feel. I love twinkle lights and have a couple strings in my home as accents. Def checking out Twinkly’s. ✌️
One of my top 3 movies of all time. (Along with Forrest Gump and Shawshank Redemption)
Love those two movies!
@@kaiielle agreed. Those 3 movies are complete movies. Dialogue, love, disruption, and humor. And all, leave you crying at the end. *sigh*
Speaking of Rob Reiner. I feel like Kaiielle might really enjoy Flipped from 2010.
Seven... seven... Seven, seven, SEVEN! SEVEN!
Loved your reaction; so astute! Now you Must react to Billy & Bruno Kirby in City Slickers. You'll thank me later.✌️❤️😉
I liked your reaction so I subscribed. Hopefully we can be friends. 😂
23:08 Yeah, I wouldn't call that unpacking - Imploding is more like it. Sometimes soldering on will simply end up giving you PTSD.
Watched your reaction again with my wife and tho it's ok, Rob Squad is much better.
Okay
When Hairy met Smelly. I always get this film mixed up with Four Weddings and a Funeral.
Is there a Victorian settee in your background (in your home)? I want to see it!
No it's not
@@kaiielle Oh, sorry. It looked like one in the background.
Don't fuk with Mr. Zero. Love that line.
I remember thinking that Meg Ryan was a lock for an Oscar nomination with this role. It was the perfect "Meg Ryan" performance (even more obviously appealing and award-worthy than Diane Keaton's in "Annie Hall" or Cher's in "Moonstruck"). She didn't make the cut, though she did get a Golden Globe nomination. Nora Ephron's script was the only Oscar nomination. Meg Ryan was such a star through the late '80s and into the '90s but then seemed to fade out without really peaking, possibly because she did something to alter her baby-faced looks a bit. She never found her groove again though she's continued to work.
imo, this is the movie that killed romantic comedies. this was it. that's all that was needed. nothing else can compare. "you were going to be a gymnast."
lmfao - i don't buy that men are telling me they don't want to have sex with me = women have never faked it with me. and yes, times have changed but that just means dudes have to bury it deeper. but i do disagree with harry that all men want to bang chicks they're not attracted to... like wtf is THAT? lol. imo, that's just a joke with no basis in reality. so there ARE circumstances where they can be friends.
- bruno kirby - you gotta watch city slickers. continues the pairing with billy crystal and it's another classic.
- meg ryan - joe vs. the volcano - peak tom hanks and it's not a classic for most but it is for me.... really super weirdo movie that's amazing if you're in the right mood.
The older that I get, the more I'm convinced that men and women are almost "better" just always being friends.
Sexual attraction always seems to have some degree of selfishness inherent to it, and the moment that two friends start wanting, expecting, or feeling entitled to something from each other seems to be when the friendship starts to sour.
This is still a classic movie that I love, and I certainly wish that friendship-to-romance as portrayed in this movie was the norm instead of the exception.
Honestly Nick, I really agree with you on this. Romantic and sexual desire will always exist in a lot of us, but there is something so rewarding about a friendship and friendships dissolving can often be more emotionally devastating than a relationship ending.
I notice how everybody notices Harry's statement about men and women not being able to be friends, and yet their minds seem to brush over his earlier statement : "can't a man say that a woman is attractive without it being a come on?"
The two statements seem at odds with each other, and I think this was deliberate by the brilliant Nora Ephron in her script.
So Harry was right - the Sex Thing DID get in the way. And he's right that we straight guys WANT to have sex with the women we know. Now, most of us are capable of accepting that it's not ever happening and not being jerks about it. But all things considered, we would absolutely get it on. Ultimately, i
I no longer believe in love or friendship - at least not for me. I could come up with lots of reasons but the truth is that I will never, ever risk the kind of pain that came with my Divorce. For me, It's just not worth it.
Those friends of yours absolutely wanted to sleep with you. They were just good enough friends that the never tried.
You've really wanted to sleep with every woman you've known? You believe that the quality of a good male friend for a woman is someone who simply doesn't try to sleep with her? 🫠🫠 Well, I'm not surprised to hear that you're divorced!
@@kaiielle obviously I didn't attempt to sleep with every woman I've ever known. I've only slept with one woman. Unfortunately, she can say the same thing - she's only slept with one woman. And since I believe we're only allowed one sex partner per lifetime, I'm retired from relationships - including friendships of any gender. I refuse to risk any more pain.
TAGLINE FOR THE MOVIE ON '89 POSTER:
Can a man and woman sleep together and still be friends in the morning?
I don't think it's impossible for a man and woman to be friends. I DO think that it's impossible for most men and most women to be friends. The only way it works is if you have an actual foundation of friendship. Pretty simple. Ask yourself, "would I be friends with this man/woman if they were a woman/man?" (Bisexuals, do your own thing.)
And you gotta have The Talk. It's unreasonable to expect a person to be attracted to you and just keep it to him or herself if you are truly friends. If you are truly friends, the attractor should be able to communicate his or her feelings to the attractee, and the attractee should be able to handle it, communicate her or his side, and then both should be able to respect the other's feeling and boundaries going forward. If you can't, be honest about that too.
The sad fact is that most people are just not great communicators.
Amen to your last sentence.
I hate to burst your bubble. But all men think or have thought like this this on some level.
Btw, men and women can't be purely friends. No man or woman should maintain an independent friendship with a person of the opposite sex, when they are in a committed relationship with someone else.
You're just repeating what's in the movie, which I already responded to.
@kaiielle doesn't make it less true.
Now, the men in your life may not admit it. Most likely it isn't relevant to your relationship. Maybe they love their spouse/girlfriend and don't want to think about risking it.
That doesn't mean the assessment, which is almost entirely automatic, didn't occur. Btw, I think most women do this as well. Likely it could be more subconscious.
But we assess everyone we meet. All of that goes in to what we think of them. Including whether they are worthy of becoming a mate.
What we do with that information is the questions lie.
We're not talking about initial assessments of people. I agree with what you've said, but that's not the focus here. We are discussing straight men and women and you're telling me that men will always be sexually motivated by women and that's why a friendship can never be "true" or "pure" or whatever we want to call it.
Hearing "All men are like this, sorry." about sex is interesting when us women have been hearing for years now, "Not all men! Don't paint us with the same brush!" about a different version of sex. The latter is about sexual coercion and assault and is a much more serious issue. But how are we supposed to believe that not all men are capable of sexually harming us when supposedly all of them want to have sex with us and can't stop thinking about it and that's why we supposedly can't be friends?
Basically I am "Not all men" with this situation because I know that to be true and I don't want to paint all men with the same brush. I am so grateful to have known and continue to know men who can control their thoughts like they control their actions, who have emotional regulation and intelligence, who may *initially* assess women sexually upon first meeting them (as you mentioned humans do), but don't stay on those thoughts continuously as the friendship between them progresses, who don't always have it in the back of their mind. This is how I define a strong man. The men that are capable of this actually see us as people and not just something to get sexual pleasure from.
Um I’ve got male friends. I’m a married woman.
Has anyone mentioned that Billy was improvising the whole 'pecan pie' conversation ? Watch again and you'll see Meg genuinely started to laugh and turn to Rob Reiner expecting him to call a cut but he was loving it and gestured to keep it going. Genius directing, genius acting and a genius film. In my top 10 for Billy's final monologue to Meg about wanting to start your life with someone straight away. Love it.
Yes! I had to rewatch the scene when I found out. So fun!! Thanks for telling me too!
Yes, that improv is terrific!
I was 18 when this came out (so adult-ish?) and it was clear that men and women could be friends. And sure, some women I've been friends with I've also been attracted to, but part of being a functioning adult in society is not necessarily acting on every emotion you feel.
And often friendship trumps romance. Romantic relationships fail quite often and they can take out the friendship too. I'm friends with nearly all my ex's but it does strain friendships. Several times I've decided that I just wanted the friendship more.
COMPLETELY AGREED WITH ALL OF THIS! Thank you for sharing. 😊
You should know that all of those other couples in the movie were actors; HOWEVER, the stories are 100% genuine. The woman who says "I'll have what she's having" is the director, Rob Reiner's, mother and was married to Carl Reiner (if you know who that was).
Moonstruck, 1987! You won't regret it. It's like a Rom-Com crossed with an opera crossed with big Italian family, and even though it won Oscars it's still underrated.
Loved your reaction.its a definite favourite of mine
I've watched this every year since 1999 and I never get tired of it. Love it❤
Your reaction to this makes me think you're a pretty rad person. I was already a subscriber, but now I'm a fan.
Thank you so much!
I think the moral of the story and big take away from the film is pretty clear and obvious: Don't f*ck with Mr. Zero.
😂😂😂
One of my all time favorite movies. I read that the scene right after they have sex and both call their friends on the phone took 63 takes to get right.
There's a comment on this video from a guy named Tyler (it's a long comment) and he provides the details on this! If you're interested.
Faking it is so dumb. If it doesn't happen fine but don't lie about it. Maybe you can change it up or try again later. It happens to all of us.