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A Young Man's Dilemma
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- Опубликовано: 18 авг 2024
- We often ignore the strangely bizarre and non-functional nuts and bolts are relationships, particularly as they apply to young men...
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I was at a friends wedding 2 years ago and when the bride and groom said their vows the groom listed personal attributes about her saying things like - she has a kind heart, she is generous, caring, a good mother and is intelligent and strong. When the bride said her vows she said absolutely nothing about his personal characteristics in return, she only said - i love how you make me feel, how I can tell you anything and how I can be myself around you.
It fascinated me how when the bride was told her turn to say in front of all her friends and family what she loved about the man she was marrying she said absolutely nothing about him. It was all about herself.
This is what I love about being red pill, I was likely the only person there who clicked on to this.
Yup. Men think outwards, women think inwards. Once you see that everything is clear.
Oddly enough I would make an excuse to avoid the normies in these types of situations the lack of introspection and basic bro / bitch thinking is enough to drive one insane
@@nashthrashington9749 you mean selfish and unselfish?
@@RKO1988 It could you an aneurysm.
are they still together?
One, perhaps the only benefit of getting older is Little Head no longer rules Big Head.
This comment makes me feel better. Thanks.
Amen
Not to mention every cavern is covered with the graffiti:
Kilroy was here
Where men and women are concerned, even absent the current social and legal climate, it seems that a "deep, meaningful, and lasting" relationship is the actual unicorn.
I think that feminism has overly raised men's expectations of women and their relationship with them. It used to be that women cranked out babies, nursed them, and fed the family. Then cleaned up after everyone. The women took care of the house and loved the husband. If he wanted to have a deep conversation, he'd spend time with another man. To this day, at family parties, often the women go off in one room and the men go off in another. Wander into the women's room and the conversation in there is way different than in the men's room. The problem I see her is in expectations. If you can have intelectual conversations with your woman, you are lucky.
A great point. And try to explain the meta of this to your girlfriend or wife. Try explaining WHY this matters to you and she will become very uncomfortable with the point you are making.
You can't have a deep conversation with most people, regardless of gender. People don't want to talk about the truth and reality. It's too upsetting. There is nothing to talk about with anyone. Also, talking about deep subjects is a turn off if you want to score. Women don't want to hear about reality. It dries the vag.
What feminism ? I have those expectations because I am a rational entity, and as such, wish to share my life with an equally rational entity.
@@ROForeverMan Good luck with that.
Pay attention fellas. Stardusk has been painting the picture of human relations and ever so meticulously has been adding new brush strokes to the grand perspective.
Dunston In this current age, I have to stare at the beginning that I hope this is no troll or way to get a rise out of me. With that said, have you watched his “fisherian runaway” video, “chimeras of meaning,” “evolutionary autopilot”? I mean most of Stardusk’s channel is devoted to macro, micro, and even what he refers to “meso” relations between human beings. Even his perspectives videos are various discussions about different parts of the world delving into certain cultural, social, biological, and historical processes in said country. He obviously uses his own experiences as anecdotal proof, insomuch as he’s buttressing this with empirical evidence or some other abstract or bigger idea.
@@Mister.P. the issue being as is often the case that meta narratives such as the one that stardusk precludes himself to can encapsulate other meta narratives. His skepticism towards his own findings is the only thing that has separated him from other pervayers of the manosphere orwhatever else you would categorize this part of youtube.
@@johnmichaelcornett3598 His skepticisms of his own ideas has reduced his potential earnings. All the rich men are remarkable liars.
A man should not destroy himself engaging with the modern-day female if he so chooses not to deal with them on a personal level. There is no point in forcing ones self as a man to try and fit into what is perceived to be normal by a society that does nothing but beat that man down and constantly tries to destroy him.
It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
-Jiddu Krishnamurti
I've been told she was "looking for someone who makes more money than she does." most girls don't search for "love" or a connection because that would require self sacrifice and consideration; along with the possibility of missing out on some hypergamous pursuit.
Men are more honest about their baser desires than women are. Women have this incessant need to believe everything they do is good and virtuous; hence, their rejection of an unwealthy-but-otherwise-suitable man gets recontextualized as something like "We just didn't connect." Instead of the more honest "I wanted to stop working a couple of years into the marriage but he doesn't make enough money to enable that."
G Spawn the only question is how aware or conscious they are of their actions and motives. They either completely lack self awareness or they’re cunning, manipulative sociopaths. Females that marry average men in the West are one of the two. Women are intentionally marrying men they know they’re not attracted to (for his resources, security) or they’re finding out during the relationship (after the honeymoon period) that they have no real attraction to their partners. Either way, marriage is just the cutting floor for men.
Billy G. She had also said in the conversation “I have a purpose” pretending like she would help anyone other than herself with any money she stole from a man. An older man covered in tats once told me “I felt like a walking paycheck” I’ve learned a lot from him telling me about how he has to pay 3 child support
This has been the common factor in many of my own past breakups... I realised there was just no interesting conversation anymore... In fact, I realised that the initial conversations were primarily led by myself - so in reality - I enjoyed MY OWN company 'through' the person, but not the person themselves. Instead of writing on paper, or making a video, i was expressing myself through another medium. Her... A little self-serving on my part, but this is what i came to notice.
Good point brother...love your channel btw.
I have experienced that as well.
Women in general are boring and unable to lead any interesting conversations.
@@hockeymasktime1918 They are in it to get pregnant and get money from you for 20 years. Don't expect anything else. If you are not interested in that then you are wasting both her time and yours. You can get away with this for a few years, but then they run out of time.
As a young man I'm 24. I'm pretty happy with using escorts it's time efficient and cheaper than having a wife or girlfriend and she leaves
@Levels Of Rage everyone has hobbies, if he wants to spend money on whores its ok that's his choice.
What if I paraphrase what you said, but changed whore to car modifications? No self respecting man gives hard-earned money to auto body part stores, a heroin addict spends 20$ for hours of physical fun, yet some are willing to pay hundreds for a minor modification on a car that doesn't change its performance.
I'd redirect my lower intestines into my urethra so when I cum I can shit into them too
@@GatorMilk LOL, your comment is seriously hilarious.
What site
Yes, the few short-term relationships I have had did not make me happier or more fulfilled at all.
C. W. I bet the first 8-12 months were where you got to know each other, participate in activities in your local town (cinema, restaurants, etc) and everything was fresh and “new”. And then things got boring once you realized you two didn’t share any common interests. That’s likely because women have no interests. They don’t need them because men worship them just for their looks and being. That’s why women don’t really develop interests/a personality until their 30s. So sad the world we live in.
You probably weren't Alpha enough. Just gotta be more Alpha bro Hit the gym. Take a shower. Manscape your eyebrows.
Yeah, but you had snu-snu.
This explains my exact situation. Understanding the nature of relations has caused me to sorta just disregard this pursuit. Hormones are more of a burden to me rather than a primary driver
This video came at right time. I've been going out with this chick for a bit but at the end of the day I always feel so empty and unfulfilled. I feel better when I'm working on my own projects and hobbies but my hormones still want to pursue women but I know I'll just feel empty it sucks no one around me can understand this and I have to go online to vent my truths.
Can relate dude. I want to want, but I also don't want to want. I know things, not just women, but traveling, wealth, a family of my own, etc. I know all these things will just be a disappointment. Sometimes I wish to want these things so I can be motivated, but other times I see the truth and just become lazy and unmotivated to do anything. It sucks, because it's incomprehensible to everyone. Who wouldn't want girls and money right?
"Because of the way you make me feel" could also be said about any pleasure-inducing substance or phenomenon.
Yeah. Like how I felt when Stardust said "The way you make me feel" in his sexy voice. XD
Good shit Stardusk. I'm also in my late teens, and in college. I'm sort of on the edge of attractive, so I'm able to see and recognize what it looks like when a female is interested in you or not. When they're interested, everything is just so easy. They're nice, kind, useful, and practically force their way upon you however they can. That said, no matter how many women I've talked too, they all have this peculiar habit of separating their work (and anything they use their brain with) and social interaction. As in, there's this girl I've met that is attending some high level aerospace degree at a college halfway across the country (US), yet she seems entirely incapable at having a rudimentary intellectual conversation, outside of me drawing out literal math equations. I hate to say it but it really does seem that that group is the majority, maybe in men but especially in women.
@ETB man you said it so well... yes women have the only biological imperative to mate with the highest status male possible.. i think that is what keeps then unequipped for long term meaningful relationships.. or disucssions , well explained.. btw
therefore I always tell my friends no matter what how much you love your woman you will always crave to hang around with your male friends..
i have few friends with whom i can spend hours discussing on one topic - one argument after another .. like a dance of creative energy.. but can that happen with woman? No! Not at all!
@Tiger MGTOW I think it's mainly because women don't face the same pressures that men do. Average looking females can get by pretty easily in most western countries. Plus, most, if not all of the sorting mechanisms that west use to have when it came to relationships and marriage are gone now. Women are the buyers in a buyers market. It would interesting to see how things would change if women faced pressures that men did, like through sci fi tech of gynoid companions and artificial wombs would they have to step up their game?
@Tiger MGTOW Hmm, it is very interesting to speculate about the automation revolution. Of course, men have to get there without blowing themselves up and regressing into older medieval ways. I'm in agreement with you in what you said. I think that the women folk would try to cry to big daddy to ban the competition and I thinks it's going to go the same way prohibition or the current drug war is going, a waste of men time and resources on trying to enforce the female monopoly on sex.
Though, I have the occasional musings over what families would look like in those situations. Would it be like A Brave New World only with gynoids with the pleasure drugs?
Personally, I would like to break things up to families and individuals while keeping over arching government powers to simply policing actual fair behavior. Basically, maintaining or expanding the family holdings while 'horse trading' genetic material with other families in the marketplace. Granted, I do have a bias to family since I was raised in pretty function one.
One last musing though, could you imagine a gynoid that is looks real as typical female but had all those romantic notions that men like built in? Like the whole to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, 'til death do us part type deal built in. Jesus, it really makes your typical bio women look like a giant assholes in comparison.
Dang that got long better save this thread for the old memory. ;)
They are getting the degrees but best be sure some man is helping them behind the scenes-don't be fooled
@ETB "It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual instinct that could give that stunted, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race the name of the fair sex; for the entire beauty of the sex is based on this instinct. *One would be more justified in calling them the unaesthetic sex than the beautiful. Neither for music, nor for poetry, nor for fine art have they any real or true sense and susceptibility, and it is mere mockery on their part, in their desire to please,* if they affect any such thing.
This makes them incapable of taking a purely objective interest in anything, and the reason for it is, I fancy, as follows. *A man strives to get direct mastery over things either by understanding them or by compulsion. But a woman is always and everywhere driven to indirect mastery, namely through a man; all her direct mastery being limited to him alone. Therefore it lies in woman’s nature to look upon everything only as a means for winning man, and her interest in anything else is always a simulated one, a mere roundabout way to gain her ends, consisting of coquetry and pretence.* Hence Rousseau said, 'Women, in general, do not like any art, don't care about any and have no genius' (Lettre à d’Alembert, note xx.). Every one who can see through a sham must have found this to be the case. One need only watch the way they behave at a concert, the opera, or the play; the childish simplicity, for instance, with which they keep on chattering during the finest passages in the greatest masterpieces. If it is true that the Greeks forbade women to go to the play, they acted in a right way; for they would at any rate be able to hear something. In our day it would be more appropriate to substitute taceat mulier in theatro for taceat mulier in ecclesia; and this might perhaps be put up in big letters on the curtain."
-Schopenhauer, Studies in Pessimism
I think people are wanting the Idea , not the actual reality ..... When I was young , I saw a Beer. The beer was highlighted by the light . It was a hot day , the beer was in an Ice Cold glass . It glowed with a Golden Gold . My idea of what it would taste like was unexplainable .... In my head , it was the taste of all tastes ........ I was just a kid , and I never had a beer . I just saw how many people liked beer ...... So I grabbed the Light filled , Golden Juice of The Gods , and took a big , huge gulp ....... It tasted like crap ...... If I never tried it , then I could have kept the idea , { which is what I really wanted } , in my head ......... some stones are best left unturned
Beer tastes way better in real life than my younger self would've ever believed. Just my 2 cents. 🍻
Most beers should have been left in the sickly horses bladder it was caught from.
Yup this is also a good way not to be envious of others or distraught that you don't have something. The idea may be more pleasant than the real thing. Not letting an idealistic world sour your actual life.
Fine writing style. Good work.
True. When I was young, I had a naive view of women. I was in love with the idea of romance. I was brainwashed by the old romantic poets.
Had a great day in the forests here in Minsk yesterday, on my own journey, taking in Stardusk videos on the headphones, awesome material and insight I'm using to build my own channel, always appreciate this content provided.
Living the Good life
Okay, fair enough. But what if we, theoretically, approached all this from the other direction?
No, women are not "our equal" or "just like us." But they don't have to be, if we base relationships on simple things. Animal relationship are not based on equality or intellectual discussion, and our relationship needs are animalistic, so... if women stopped believing that men should be their talky girlfriends, and men stopped expecting thrilling insights, we could get down to making them feel taken cared of, and us getting a hug and a sandwich. And if they wanted to talk an hour and a half about their day, they could call their friends, and if we wanted philosophical discourse, we could go online.
Yes, but that only works if you get her pregnant and give her money. Otherwise, she feels like you are wasting her time. Why is she getting you a sandwich? You didn't give her a family. They are made for that. There really is no reason to be with a woman if you don't want kids. I know some people do this, but what's the point? So you can have someone in your personal space all the time? What are you doing?
Many quotes from Esther Vilar would be relevant here. Here is one :
"When a man, believing woman his equal, realizes the futility of her way of life, he naturally tends to think that it must be his fault, that he must be suppressing her. But in our time women are no longer subject to the will of men. Quite the contrary. They have been given every opportunity to win their independence and if, after all this time, they have not liberated themselves and thrown off their shackles, we can only arrive at one conclusion: there are no shackles to throw off.
It is true that men love women, but they also despise them. Anyone who gets up in the morning fresh and ready to conquer new worlds (with infrequent success, admittedly, because he has to earn a living) is bound to despise someone who simply isn't interested in such pursuits. Contempt may even be one of the main reasons for his efforts to further the mental development of a woman. He feels ashamed of her and assumes that she, too, must be ashamed of herself. So, being a gentleman, he tries to help.
Men seem incapable of realizing that women entirely lack ambition, desire for knowledge, and need to prove themselves, all things which, to him, are a matter of course. They allow men to live in a world apart because they do not want to join them. Why should they? The sort of independence men have means nothing to women, because women don't feel dependent. They are not even embarrassed by the intellectual superiority of men because they have no ambition in that direction."
It's just natures cruelty on display. Have you seen the insect eating plants in the forest? They emit a pheromone that attracts insects and they have lovely colours. Once the insects comes to the vicinity of these plants they lose their minds and they jump into the plant and its game over. Same with the humans. There is no such thing as "attraction" its your mind getting tricked into seeing that. As much the insects seeing the plant as "beautiful" was not for the insect's benefit, so is the human female. Their so called "beauty" is not for the benefit of the man. Its complete delusion from Start to finish.
Too bad women's single criteria for choosing men, when it comes down to it, is how you make them feel 🤦♂️ Also, differences between men and women mattered less in the past when women relied on men and followed their leadership. Now relationships are just 2 opinionated people with different ideas, fighting for power
Women sleep around with good looking guys. And they marry the ones with good jobs or money.
‘’..relationships are just 2 opinionated people with different ideas, fighting for power’’ - Its so true. And it’s tragic that our culture has trained most women to believe that anyone who wants to avoid that situation is a subhuman, menace to Good. Totally bizarre.
If we require more than looks for a stable relationship - how can this be reconciled with females "chameleon" nature? I would say in the past, interests didn't matter as we had to survive day to day, but now we can afford luxuries. Now without families to raise and the government taking over the male "role" in womens eyes, having similar desires outside family planning has tilted the scale too much and really just gives women the green light to leave you the moment any minor inconvenience pokes its head into hers with things like "You've changed" or "I just don't love him anymore".
Personality doesn't matter because women don't have one - she will merely adopt what you desire - so long as she has to.
I just broke up with my first girlfriend a couple days ago we were together for about 1.5 years. I'm 20 now. It totally drained me I don't feel at all like the same person anymore. My joy in life is gone right now. She would get very drunk and then do disrespectful things such as flirt openly in front of me... Totally fucking destroyed me because she used to get drunk and then be all over me lol (I don't drink). She would wake up the next day and frantically apologize and say all of these things... and then do it again next time. We went on lots of trips together and I got to know her family really well. I've always been sort of an outsider so she was one of the only people who I really cared about also because we were best friends before dating. Probably me being so in love is what caused it all to go bad because at that point I needed her to love me also and when I could tell she didn't I had no idea what to do. Weird because I never needed anyone before the relationship but now I'm missing it really bad. Probably my brain just got too connected to her like a drug and now I have to rid of it. It doesn't help that now that I broke up with me she comes crying to me and says she feels suicidal. Logically I kind of realize that I had to break up because it was only going to cause more pain. In the end, it was all worth it I suppose for the experience and lessons learned, although it doesn't feel like that right now. Idk how I will approach women in the future. I guess once I get myself back I will have to approach with sort of a detached mindset and be careful not to get too close? It's sad to me that this could be the only time in my life where I truly believed in love and that the other person loved me. Guess ill get over it.
Had a similar experience. Flirting in front of you is a dead giveaway she doesn't care about you. It can make you feel worthless until you realize that your worth isn't dependant on women's validation. Now I can't believe I was ever in that situation. Seems comical to me now.
Yeah man. Glad I finally stood up for myself. I was really clueless and listened to her words and not her actions.
Best thing you can do is move on. Show her you dont need her in your life.
@@nerychristian going pretty good so far man thanks. original comment was kind of pathetic I must say haha
You're a legend Stardusk
there is no dilemma
by now every man with an internetconnection must know the risk
all that is left is the question how bad do you want it
I get mocked for this, but I have an anime girl body pillow and I'm in a more emotionally reciprocating relationship then any guy I know.
I have seen quite a few relationships where the couple get along well and chat easily about many things. I think one of the main keys is to have your own lives; as you do spend a lot of time together.
Problem arises is that woman tend to want more from you than you want from them. This particularly increases after marriage.
Over 40 years ago I was this young mans age and had the same experience. I would have gone mgtow right then but the pull of sex kept making me weaken. Over and over I'd tell myself maybe this girl will have something, anything interesting to say.I longed for one that had more to offer than tits and a vagina. It never happened. When I was in my early forties I finally quit them for good.
Well, all I can say is thank you to you. I think that I really needed this video today.
Ah yes you said it at the end. Relationships are a social organism evolved for childbirth. Expecting much more from it is asking for disappointment. If you want kids then find someone that wants to raise them in a similar way you do and that you don't have certain irrevocably opposed values.
The children will be the thing you have in common as they'll be part of you both and in general are something y'all started at the same time. As it grows you'll have a stronger bond as you have shared memories. And you'll each have more experience with a valuable thing than anyone else.
Understand your hormones gentlemen, and understand that biology is driving you toward the female and her body. Be mindful of the gap of relation.
Become aware and then you can move with clarity.
So true. I love it when women say they're attracted to a man with intellect, and then themselves are completely incapable interacting on any meaningful intellectual level LOL. So your relationship is one of monologue. Like Ginger & The Professor on Gilligan's Island
Of course it's no different than a fat, lazy ugly dude saying he's *attracted* to fitness models. He can't interact with that quality in her but he can be attracted to it. Sigh!
A woman doesn't need to be all things, just like a man doesn't need to be. For a good portion of the more meaningful stuff, meet up with some friends down the bar, shoot some pool & chat there. Most couples don't have a ton in common. As long as they're a good person, pleasant & easy enough to get on with, that'll do.
This is so true I tried to explain how bitcoin works to my girl and how a crash is now on its way she had a dear in the headlights look and wanted to put her head back in the sand...
@@David-nx6zq no I am talking about the stock market crash is on its way big time
David the US fed gave 75 million to the banks recently. An indicator that there’s liquidity issues with lending. It looks like there’s a lot of people are afraid to lend money when a recession is getting near. And also the short term bond yield curve inverted twice recently.
That image is cozy af, could do without the woman though.
Traffic & listening vs comfort time at home & self development
Yeah
pfffff lmfao traffic and listening lol
If the woman finds you attractive, then there is no real need for talking.
What if you dont find her attractive?
@@escrementodimmerda7609 Then don't get involved. Duh.
Instincts support the success of the species not the individual
Thinking ape should have a soundcloud.
Stardusk thank you and hope this finds you well. Compromise, a lack of goal alignment, divorce incentives, as well as differing rates of personal growth/development over time, are the poison pills of long-term relationships. Think with your larger heads gentlemen.
If males and females cant get along and make compromises with their feelings...humanity is doomed.
It was doomed from the start.
I follow since your voice makes me FEEL good. I am a woman, feeling is very important.
Only one thing to say: read " the polygamous sex" Esther Vilar
Excellent discussion Stardusk, I will recommend to my friends.
Very good video and a very accurate/relatable one too!
Maybe I've been listening to Terrence Popp too much but did you say "Relationshit" a couple of times?
Great and thoughtful video as usual, however, the statement about the fountains is actually a lot more profound when I think about it. In a way forcing water upward shows the Western view of life whether it be monotheism, whether it be architecture, absolutism,. While on the other hand water flowing downward in the Eastern tradition might be more about taoism, pantheism, multi theism, Buddhism, etc. Etc. Etc
You really can't get along with a girl the same way you can get along with your best male friend
The moon edge not lining up on both sides of the couple is driving me crazy
Jesus Christ! You are one quiet fella! No listening to you on a road trip with earphones
Absolutely relatable
I love that Stardusk introduction.
This is beautiful
Words of wisdom
Great video stardust I learned much more about women from listening to this video. Plus I have been watching for at least 1 to 2 years of mgtow content.
i didnt even watch the video i just read the comments.
What if one finds a connection but no physical attraction? Even that is doomed to fail.
A connection/relationship without physical attraction is called friendship
Do you have a video on getting ghosted by a girl you had a relationship with...because this hurts
He is a INFJ !
The waterfall thing, expressed as a test is one that most women, including degree educated, would fail. Statistically I venture to say that actually "WOW" is correct.
I've been binging on your videos for about a month. Good stuff, and I would be interested in collaborating on something. I hope you are well.
I love when people use "peepee" as a durogitory word 😂
The virgin doomer
Vs
The CHAD Coomer
10/10
there is no dilemma
by now every man with an internetconnection must know the risk
all that is left is the question how bad do you want it