7 Things EVERYONE with BPD Should Know
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- Опубликовано: 8 май 2024
- Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:
shorturl.at/bxB05
Order The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook by Dr. Fox:
In English: goo.gl/LQEgy1
In Spanish: tinyurl.com/55f8tz86
In Polish: tinyurl.com/npzs9f98
In this video, I discuss 7 things everyone with BPD should know. These questions will help clarify not only where you are but where you may be going and what to expect. This will help not only you, but others in your life as well.
Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 15 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:
Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:
rb.gy/hdyqyy
Antisocial, Narcissistic, and Borderline Personality Disorders: A New Conceptualization of Development, Reinforcement, Expression, and Treatment. Available at: tinyurl.com/2anv8dww
The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD. Available at: goo.gl/LQEgy1
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Silver Award Winner):: goo.gl/sZYhym
The Clinician’s Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment of Personality Disorders: goo.gl/ZAVe9v
Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
RUclips: / drdanielfox
Dr. Fox’s website: www.drdfox.com/
Dr. Fox’s Blog: www.psychologytoday.com/us/bl...
Facebook: / appliedpsychservices
Twitter: / drdanieljfox1
LinkedIn: / drdfox
Instagram: / drdfox
Amazon Author’s Page: amazon.com/author/drfox
Videos edited by Emil Christopher: emilchristopheredits@gmail.com
Animation by sirak @sirakoart (IG)
Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful and subscribe. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.
bpd bpd wellness 7 things everyone with BPD should know everyone with BPD
Thank you Dr Fox. This morning I was very sad because I feel lonely every day, but recently i have been trying to teach myself guitar. Doing my finger scales and exercises, focusing on my guitar cleanliness and playing technique, it brings me so much more peace than chasing unfulfilling relationships with impatient people. I will keep on doing my best. And to anybody reading I hope you do your best too in your own endeavors!!
Thank You Am Going through the same here! Blessings To All Of Us!
This is fantastic and keep up the great adaptive strategy!
I am also trying to stay away from romantic relationships/obsessive relationships. And I've started looking for creative outlets like learning to play the guitar. I know that ultimately it will help me feel better, I just struggle with consistency and staying disciplined.
Good luck to you!
Wow, your reply invites me to pick up my guitar too! I am very good at it, at least I was. I actually liked practicing scales, it is calming!
Stop stressing about people and have fun.
GOT IT, THANKS!
What a synchronicity I was just looking for a piano. Just scared to buy everything for a hobby I never start 😂
I learned you never "cure" from BPD, you learn how to manage it with the tools you are given. And I agree 😁😁😁.
You're 100% correct.
Me too... I feel like this is something that I am going to be working on this for the rest of my life.
I just received your workbook. I'm 58 and you are the one that's finally helping me. Thank you.
I am fond of your username
His workbook is terrific!
Didn’t know he had one
When I saw the question "when do you end treatment", I fell to the floor. I was told by a psychiatrist that there was no treatment for bpd (now perhaps she was just referring to medication). Two weeks after she told me this, now 4 years ago, she dropped me as a patient. I, luckily, initiated treatment on my own with EMDR for PTSD which I graduated, 4 years in, into post traumatic growth 6 months ago. As well, I keep educating myself in and practice CBT and DBT. Sometimes I think I'm lucky she said that, because I had to self treat; all she could do, apparently, is medicate. I think I learned a lot more and progressed a lot more, choosing not to listen to "there is no treatment for bpd". For me treatment will be done when I've practiced my coping skills enough that they have become natural. I KNOW I WILL GET THERE, because look at how far I've come when I was told "there is no treatment for BPD. Had my psychiatrist said the opposite, perhaps I might not have done as well. So, thanks! Hmmm!
There's several highly prominent Drs. researchers and authors on RUclips who don't think it can be treated also! Thank God for Dr. Fox, Marsha Linehan, The Sashbear Foundation, Dr. Aguirre and Dr. Yeoman's to name a few. Your progress shows with hard work people get more able to be high functioning. Dr. Fox's workbook is my Bible.
You're awesome for your post.( and I'm sure a lot more than that, 😅) Thank you
I’ve been in remission but recently relapsed, splitting and fighting off depression. These videos offer hope and a good reminder to practice what I need to do to stay stable. So tedious 🙄
I been self aware for over a year now and I’ve watched a lot of videos on bpd and I could honestly say that my symptoms ain’t as bad anymore. A lot of things that used to bother me a lot don’t anymore, I have a lot more patience. There’s still things I need to work on but over all I feel like I’ve improved so much. Thank you thank god
That’s great news
I just discovered your websites that have helpful worksheets. I cannot appreciate you enough for what you do for the community. Not only decreasing the stigma, more importantly you're not doing this for money. You genuinely want to keep learning about and understanding people with borderline personality. Not only that but you dedicate yourself to the research. Thank you
Thank you for all the help you've given me on my journey through my transformation. Finding out I had BPD and watching your vids started me on this path. To see who I am now (64F), able to make decisions, able to identify when I'm emotionally disregulated, learning how to communicate my needs to others in a language understood by others...WOW!
I remember, vividly, the day I thought, "OMG, I FEEL the love from my brother, from my friends! I FEEL IT!"
Everyday since had been a gift, even when I get disregulated and can't stand being "Back there," again. It, too, shall pass.
I'm in charge of my life for the first time in my life!
Thank you. 🥰
Happy for you! You give others hope!
11:50 that's me. Over the years I've built up a "good" facade to everyone out there - except one special friend who really knows ke to the core. Not even my own husband of 27 years has got a clue of how I feel deep inside. My coping strategy over all those years has been hoping for betterment, patience, every now and then a lashing out (=breaking stuff) at whatever was near me when I'm just by myself. But the phantom inside is ever alive and controlling me.
Positive affirmations.... I can't even get myself to believe that this would work.
Wishing everyone well!
Ufff... Feels so sad , I know. Still holding on to hope no matter what!
Wishing all the best as well 🙏❤
My Dr. Fox treatment is EVERYDAY on RUclips. 😇 This channel is always available for me.
I’m glad that you find it helpful! I wish you all the best.
Thank you. I've been doing monthly check ins with my mental health provider for a while now in regards to my BPD. We found for a while there we didn't have too much to work through. Then we find sometimes we need to increase frequency for periods of time. Therapy is one of the best things I've gifted myself (and my daughter) in my entire life. When I first started reaching out in regards to my mental health, I never wanted to take any medication having been brought up in a substance abuse household, I villainized all drugs. To think back now if I hadn't have started my antidepressants I may not have had the improvement needed in order to seek out the right therapist. Back then it was hard for me to even commit to an appointment. I would pull out last minute or do a no show. It was hard for me to hold down stability in multiple areas of life, if I was holding down a job I couldnt give myself to my child enough. If I was there for my child and my partner I couldn't hold down a job. Now to think I am holding down two jobs, managing to be an adequate loving mother and engage in regular therapy, as well as holding down platonic relationships with coworkers and acquaintances. I never would have thought I could be a consistently social person ever in my life. I am so proud. Writing this down is reminding me of how far I've come althought I've noticed old maladaptive patterns creeping in over the last week. I can't wait to speak to my therapist about it tomorrow. Sorry for the long comment. Thanks always doctor fox.
Your comment is wonderful. It gives people hope. Very happy for you!
Dr Fox thanks for your help, I’ve been working on the workbook for the past few weeks. I can’t bring myself to read it every day admittedly but I’m glad that it’s there when I need it. I even use it just to journal my thoughts especially during an episode and it helps so much. To anyone reading this who goes through or thinks they have something related to BPD symptoms do not hesitate to purchase his workbook!! It may not ‘save you’ but you can use it as a valuable tool along your journey and can give you some valuable insight as to how you suffer and what you can do about it.
Thanks again !!!
I got the workbook too and I find the explanations to be very helpful!
I’m so glad you find my material helpful.
@Cj Johnson Me too, bought it but have been fearful.
I have to take a break too because I can watch BPD videos obsessively, like a lifeline. I have to take a break and absorb the info. That hour in therapy is where powerful work starts but our brains incorporate the information for an entire week+practice...I remind myself of this. Best wishes!!!!
Desculpa,não falo inglês,mas onde consigo esse livro de exercícios?
Must record Dr Fox saying "....and that's okay!" so I can play it when I need to hear it :-)
Be well 🦊
What a blessing it must be to work with Dr Fox. Thankful for the workbooks and sheets. Thanks for all you do Dr Fox
IKR
I finished therapy nearly 10 years ago after spending 4 years straight in therapy but I was determined to put an end to acting out with the 8 out of 9 traits I had with BPD.
Life does get better if the work is put in with my experience as I live a great life happily married with 3 children.
Things that I've found that don't agree with my mind and over the years and so I gave them up were, alcohol, cigarettes, processed foods, sweets, going to bed late.
I'm genuinely happy within which I thought was just not for me years ago.
Similar position. It is profound. Bloody intense but do able for those commited to that process, well done
Blessings!💞🙏
Thanks for sharing, happy for you I hope I can achieve the same !!!
@@aurora-un2km we are different, that's all, just zebra's in a field full of horse's
@@Blinkybottom congratulations!
Thank you. I’m currently in search of a new therapist (I have some initial appointments set up with a few different ones) to begin BPD treatment with. It’s been really hard finding the right person… many therapists I’ve noticed don’t have a real plan on how to treat it or help me manage it. We talk sporadically about issues that are going on and they listen, but hardly ever is there a challenge or solution proposed for the issue or confusion that I experience. Your workbook helped me for a bit but I lost hope when I destroyed a relationship and haven’t been able to pick it up since.
I left therapy early because.... At the start, I said to my therapist "I'm a very clearcut, to the point kinda person. I dont like beating around the bush, Please treat me the same way. If I'm contradicting myself or if you think I'm lying or making something up, call me on it! Your not going to push me over the edge! most of the time i need to be "beaten" with something for it to sink in." and she said "sure" But alas, no.... she spent several sessions speaking to me like im made of glass or talking to me like I'm a child! It was so condasending and unhelpful!
Unfortunately, a lot of therapists aren't well-trained and many are fearful of people with BPD
@@ZoeMagnes You can say that again, I maybe completly wrong... that's the only therapist I've seen.. But for example... Wanting me to make myself Hyperventilate until it induces a panic attack, So she can try to calm me down, so that over time.... I will become desenitized to it, so over time... so if my anxiety makes me start to Hyperventilate I wont have a panic attack.... Because, apparently... Anxiety is the root cause of BPD! That just seems completly wrong if you ask me..
Also, why are they fearful of people with BPD?
I commend you on certainly being outspoken about your expectations and what you want. I hope that this will not prevent you from working to find a therapist that is more direct. I wish you all the best.
@@DrDanielFox Thank you, But that's one of the biggest problems I face with the NHS in Britain Unless your a babbling fool and you can't function... There's the help you need! But if you've survived long enough without help, developed your own skills for coping day to day, but need further help... When you finally get there and present yourself as, This is what I want, this is what I need... Well, your alright then. You've got it covered. You know how to cope. You don't need help! It does make you feel like giving up.. because the only way to get help is to... "play the game" and i really cant be arsed with that! But watching your video is a great source of insperation and help. So thank you.
im so tired of everything i dont know what to do i lost everything and put everyone away im a unfixable mess and im so scared of therapy i just have no will power
I think this is really good insight, even though it is painful. I hope that you’ll use this as a catalyst to start therapy or pick up some workbooks or material that can help you tap in to some energy to push back on some of these beliefs and behaviors that cause you to feel isolated and alone. Be well.
I also feel lonely everyday having a resection of an Occipital Parasagittal Maningioma grade 2 maybe 3. Otherwise known as a Brain tumour on top I have borderline personality disorder and on lithium. Some days I want to give up but hanging in there and love your talks. Thankyou Dr Fox ❤
Hi. As a person who is in therapy for quite some time i am saying this from a somewhat informed position. The method of having more sessions in the beginning is a great thing. I didn't have that. Looking back at myself i think that it would help me and people around me alot! Sounds obvious yet it's the first time i ever heard about it. When you mentioned ending the therapy etc. Immiedietly my fear of abandonment, self hatered, hate for the world as a whole jumped way high. But nope! I have my adult part that knows better and i am going to stick to it.
Thank you Dr. Fox. Have a good sunday.
Thank you Dr Fox! Your videos are so amazing for me , I finally feel like I’m not totally alone with this I’ve been suffering very bad Bpd I served 14 years in prison and was abused physically and mentally as a child ! Thank you so much for all you do!
Last week I saw my new talk therapist for the second time. During our session I mentioned learning a little bit about wise mind while I was in an intensive DBT/CBT day therapy program. She asked what wise mind was....because she didn't know. She said she was learning about DBT and I just thought, how the hell are you going to help me learn coping skills if you don't know anything about DBT? I wonder if she even knows anything about BPD lol. Behavior Health Dept assigned her to me....wish me luck.
god bless what you do, i watch your videos when i spiral and it always helps bring in critical thinking and give me new ways to be more mindful about situations before thinking of the worst. critical psychological advice like this shouldnt have to be paid extreme amounts for, its life saving knowledge. forever grateful for you
Yesterday i pushed myself and went to the christmas market with a bunch of new people. I'm an introvert with bpd and sometimes i overstep my boundaries and my social battery is empty. But i'm glad i did go. Someone wants to be my friend!!!! 😍😊 She wants to be my friend. No one ever wanted to be my friend, or they didnt say it like that. Of caurse bpd kicked in and i got panic and anxiety and started crying, because no one ever wanted to be my friend. And of caurse i'm scared if she finds out that i have bpd and ptbs. But i push those thoughts away. Everytime i'm in crisis i watch Dr. Foxes videos and i get myself together again. ♥️ Thats nice. But i'm still so scared. Also she is an extrovert and i have poor boundaries. Damn. Dont know how to deal. But i told myself, If i meet up with an extrovert i will stay for 90 minutes. Not longer. So that i dont exhaust myself. Yesterday after the christmas market i was dead for exhaustion. Not so good. But i'm learning.
I love your verifies dr. Fox. Thank you for sharing your practice online.
Very helpful. Thank you 🙏🏼
Can you do a video on how often women with C-PTSD or neurodivergence are misdiagnosed with Borderline?
I have videos on complex PTSD and BPD and I think you might find those helpful.
I've learned so much from your videos. Thank you! Have you thought about doing a video on adult children estrangement?
Amazing as always! Missed you doctor! 🤗
I've got BPD and am desperate to know why I struggle to spend more than a few days with a partner. I begin to hate myself and they start to annoy me. I go into self destruction and get exhausted. Believing I'm not good enough and feeling like screaming. I'd really appreciate any information on this please 🙏 😊 💕
Oh my god! Someone that feels the same as me. And then I ruin everything and miss them so much when they leave
This was a great video Dr Fox-insightful, helpful, and very well structured and executed. I’m really enjoying the longer format videos.
I’m so glad you liked it. Be well.
I am undiagnosed but the way he describes me to a perfect T lol. Understanding BPD has changed my life, thank you.
You are so welcome!
Self condemnation. Damn. It's there all the time. Appreciate your understanding. Tnx dr Fox
Thanks. Really appreciate your essence & presence.💗
You’re welcome.
Thank you Dr. Fox !! Your videos have helped me so much!!
I’m so glad you found the videos helpful and I wish you all the best
Thank you for your work 👏🏼
You are very welcome!
Thank you for this channel Dr Fox! My favorite person called me out on my BPD tendencies which prompted me to start DBT. My therapist suggested DBT before but I always brushed it off. The workbook really helped me finally reach a breakthrough. I've never felt better and healthier mentally. I no longer always feel like my favorite person is going to leave me. If I do, I know how to manage these negative thoughts now. I wish I knew about this channel sooner!
What is DBT,,?
Thanks for another great video Dr Fox. Can you make one on how to reconnect with family after they’ve abandoned you? Prior to knowing it was BPD and not just bad behavior
Ive been in therapy for BPD for 6 years. Diagnosed at 19. And I still go see my same therapist. I cant function without venting and having someone listen to me and be able to handle it. But I do convince myself Im cured or not have enough money randomly and will drop her for a few weeks/month and then come back.
Thank you Doctor. I have been seeing a psychiatrist+psychologist for the last 6 years now. I have been diagnosed with bpd + clinical anxiety and depression. Your videos really speak to me.
I have one question - when to stop medicines - I feel I have sort of become dependent on some of my medicines and cannot function without them at all.
My disorder continues to wreak havoc on my life. Lost the woman I love due to my inability to keep my words and emotions under control. Ive lost so many people for that very reason. I really hate this hell
Thank you Dr Fox for this informative and helpful video. Many therapist try to force people into a therapy schedule that doesn't work for them. Flexibility is the best approach
You’re very welcome.
Many from the live chat are struggling with DBT ...
Many of us have addiction issues. Honestly, DBT only works if you have a better place to go to. 12 step programs are amazing places to find the light and there are so many cooccurring groups nationally.
I agree I think DBT is really helpful with ways to cope but it doesn’t really get at the root. I’m looking into IFS in combination with EMDR. I think treatments like that help get to the core trauma and DBT is a really nice complement to learn coping skills not so much healing and recovery.
@@TranscendingTrauma yes! I think that there is a basic understanding of emotion and it's impact on instinct... Being able to distinguish between the two is something that can't be spoken about... The reason it takes so many so long to recover is being able to understand the concept of how it works past the language... To the actual feeling behind it
@@Coldnfallen For sure! And then emotions are also wisdom! So we want to be able to pull that from them but not be completely reactive and compelled by them. Be able to stay grounded and ask what they’re telling us. And also to keep the height of them within a reasonable range. I’ve worked a lot at emotional regulation and well that has definitely helped me my body still holds trauma. It’s beyond cognitive.
Very helpful.
If you try one MHP and it's not working, try another one until until you feel comfortable.
Tysm, Dr Fox!
You’re welcome
Dr. Fox, would you ever consider making a video series for partners/family members of those struggling with BPD? Giving them tools to help better understand what the person with BPD is going through, how to cope as a partner, best ways to support us, etc?
I have videos on this. Check the BPD relationships playlist. Be well.
Thank you so much!
My treatment lasted 6 months because that's as long as our healthcare covers it. That's it. I did two rounds. Now I'm at a "fuck it" mindset. I'm tired of re-starting with new people and seeing the exact same thing. I can't move forward unless I have money. Which I don't, I'm disable and can't work. Plus I'm tired of therapist that don't understand a thing. So no more therapy for me, fuck that.
Finally getting your workbook after realizing this is pervasive and will flare up.
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
12:06…. Hit the nail on the head. I have my personality I take out into the world, but it’s not me.
I WISH I could see my psychologist 3-4 times a week! Unfortunately, I can't afford the $200 fee per session, so only go once a week, or even every 2 weeks. It's SO FRUSTRATING!
Also, I feel like my duration of therapy would be at least 2-3 years, but once again, due to financial constraints, I just can't do this. It's very upsetting.
$200 for a psychologist per session is an awful lot.
@@attheranch873 I know! It's standard here in Australia.
Hello, Dr. Fox. Thank you for your videos! I just have a question, at around 10:48, you mentioned that crisis-only relationships can be destructive; can you please elaborate how so? Thanks so much!
Thanks💌
I'm in UK and though I've been under mental health since age 17, diagnosed with bpd in 1979 but at times I skipped appointments because I'd feel fixed after first app. It's only recently I've begun to find out about myself etc.
Now I have cptsd along with the diagnosed by psyche bpd.
My CPN has been off 6 weeks and I'm feeling rejected, it was going so well 😪.....yes I do that yes self hatred etc and this is when I go when i'm imploding, I didn't know that was wrong... wow interesting!
My ex partner, father of my youngest daughter committed suicide 4 months ago and even though we hadn't been together for years I still think it's my fault 😪
Thanks for this you always make me feel better 😊
I'm starting talking therapies on Monday
#Drfox can you please make a video about building and mentaining friendships? Thankyou. 🙏
Thank you for the comment. Be well and take care.
Hello Dr fox 🦊 I have BPD and sometimes I even change towards my medication I say to myself I don't need this fibromyalgia meds no more then I end up suffering in pain .it's like this with all in my life realationships Iove u I hate you etc crazy thos disorder
what can i do if i cant afford one on one professional therapy? i feel so trapped
It may be an unpopular opinion, but did you look into medication as an option? (Beside DBT, etc self-help)
I only see a therapist every 3 weeks. Cannot afford once a week. Wish I could!
@@Kif_Lee ive tried several meds and none seem to work :(( getting desperate
Dr.Fox, how could I get to see you please?
Greetings! I have got questions regarding autism spectrum disorder and borderline personality disorder - how can we differentiate between the two? what makes them similar and/or different to each other? As I have done my research on autism and found that some of the borderline traits I have are symptoms in autism as well. I have been diagnosed with borderline pd, but I am now starting to think that it is commorbid with autism, which explains many of the factors and challenging situations I have encountered. I am convinced that there are many undiagnosed and misdiagnosed autism in adults, many psychiatrists/mental-health professionals may frequently mistake autism for bpd and it could possibly be vice versa as well.
Or it can be both. But I hear you and it's a great question. I see he has a book on complex bpd, with comorbidities. Maybe this is addressed.
Totally off topic but has anyone with BPD have any improvement with dietary changes? Thanks for any input at all on this topic. ❤️
All I noticed is that keeping my blood sugar in check makes me feel more stable.
Stop sugar.
Supplement with half cup portions of nutritional yeast.
90% better!
Eating healthy, substantial food most of the time and minimizing junk food has been an important step for me to reduce the mood fluctuations. But it's not a miracle cure.
I have all 9 symptoms aggressively I have depression anxiety social anxiety anger outbursts countless attempts destructive outbursts abandonment issues compulsivity I destroy every relationship I've ever had my marriage is about to fail how do I find the right help nothing has helped. Your videos are all explaining me to the t
I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time. It's important to reach out to a mental health professional who can provide you with the right support and guidance. Hang in there, things will get better.
Isn't it an axis 2 diag, therapy not typically covered by ins
What would U recommend a parent of an adult w/bpd does to continue supporting my adult son, because I’m so emotionally broken & never know what I am doing is ever helpful. Can you please advise so I can feel like I’m atleast helping as best as I can.
I was going to therapy twice a week but anything I learn I never do outside of the office. So there was no point in going more than once a week because it's basically all on me to...I don't know, try harder or want recovery more? 😅
I struggle with boredom then that leads to depression
Okay I'm not sure you're going to respond to this comment but it's worth a try I seem to have layers upon layers of mental health issues whether it's depression anxiety PTSD pure o OCD bipolar disorder possible BPD autism and hepophobia is this possible I have symptoms of all of these except for auditory or visual hallucination
What can you do if you love a family member with bpd and they refuse help
Ive been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, ptsd,cptsd,adhd and bpd. Where do i start to heal, which one is the most core oriented?
You need to explore this for yourself and find your core. You can do it.
I need your help
I have a Question…do you think that religion can heal BPD for some? I feel as though it’s working for me. I also make sure that I don’t get too lost in it all because I get a dopamine high from the worship 😂
I, found myself a bpd. But doctors and psychologists don't believe that. Because I can manage my psycho side most of times. 🤪. What drug you think it's beneficial for that times for me? It's hard to bearing this mental suffocation !
Medication isn’t going to control issues related to BPD, core Contant, you need to identify that core Contant in develop those adaptive strategies in order to better manage those issues when stress increases when problems arise. I wish you all the best.
Can you list in the title comment what the seven things are? I've been trying to watch, but it's not very clear.
Sorry about that.
@@DrDanielFox Thank you for replying. I really love your videos and your shorts. Usually you are more succinct. Or maybe I'm having a hard day. Hard to say.
Wish I could afford a mental health provider
I come here when my thoughts are too much.
Glad my material is helpful.
Dang that’s a lot 3 times a week.. how can one even afford that?? Honest question.
What do you charge a patient Dr Fox? There is no affordable treatment in my city. Psychologists chargec$200/hr and $3000 for their DBT programs. Shrinks won't touch BPD patientsxafter they've medicated them to the eyeballs. I had one tell me to get lost, I quote her hee "I don't do talk therapy &
He doesn't say anything about how much all that costs.
Subscribed, thank you for all that you do and helping others 🤍
So basically you only want to help clients when it’s most convenient for you? Then why charge so much? People tend to want to handle their issues as much as they can on their own. When they finally snap and also are reaching out for help. Which is rare, you want them to what? Call a helpline? I never thought of you in this way until that statement. 9 minutes 3o seconds in
Sorry you feel that way, but it also sounds like you took this video out of context. I wish you all the best.
@@DrDanielFox I didn’t intend to come off harshly it just felt like you meant you wont help people in dire need but want to help those before hand. I’m one of 12 kids and struggle feeling worthy enough if h to even receive help
Can you maybe make a video about people who don't improve and what happens with them I'm in that position over my life I've tried five antidepressants now on antipsychotics during COVID had online DBT during COVID it didn't work I couldn't take it in and retain it I'm going to go back to your book but it's me I know but couldn't retain the info I've got to be honest its my friends that keep me going but it's hard I often feel a failure because you only hear about people improving in info so I feel an oddball
DBT should be pushed….
No WAY I will be getting a "diagnosis" saying I must be on toxic psych meds UNTIL THEY SAY I can stop the drugs.
I do not have three days / a week to be going out meeting with my puppet master.
I personally dont like the word "personality disorder" or the idea that DBT treats Borderline.
Borderline very very very often occurs due to actual or perceived prolonged inter relational preverbal trauma by the individual suffering. The only difference in personality could be due to sensitivity and being overly sensitive isnt a disorder. DBT is fine for crisis aversion for the ones who have extremely destructive urges but for people who are overcontrolled and have trouble with emotional regulation and a lack of sense identity, constant dissociation related symptoms, depression, anxiety etc.. someone should focus on developmental trauma and attachment through a modality such as sensorimotor psychotherapy, schema therapy / trauma therapies focused on attachment particuratly disorganized attachment. Its not a coincidence that C-PTSD and BPD share 90% of the same symptoms and the fact that C-PTSD and Developmental Trauma also share a huge majority of symptoms.
I will definately say that people with borderline often also lack emotional intelligence when it comes to hurting others around them but that is because we are actually emotionally stuck at the age of trauma in many implicit ways. It also is common for other "personality disorder" traits to be present such as narcissistic tendencies because if you were to put a toddler in a body of a grown up, the world for that creature would be in black/white, they would see others as people who need to take care of them, would have little to offer / ways to understand others as their emotional development is that of a toddler. Whether its narcissism or bpd, its a defence mechanism for an underdeveloped ego that tries to compensate in its own maladaptive way and the way it chooses to compensate for its early life traumatic experiences is what determines the type of "personality disorder" that ends up coming out. That also depends on environmental factors and primary caregiver models.
Bottom line is, its not the individual's fault. Its a trauma response / insanely strong defense mechanism that works at the level of implicit memories. People like us need extended help for those early attachment and relational wounds that occured during the stage at which the human personality and the sense of self develops, not ways to minimize the symptoms while we still suffer on the inside to make others and our surroundings content with putting the issue under the rug. I long chose to not act out and all that ended happening was severely dissociating all my life, isolating from everyone, binge eating, trying to fix the issue with medication that would give me a false sense of happiness and ended up somatisizing all my symptoms and now have severe chronic gut and breathing issues at 26. Did I ever act out or harm anyone outside in public? Nope all my life it was as if I wasnt even there and have suffered and been neglected since as long as I can remember. Am I negative and pessimistic and complaining? Yes but literally anyone would be in a situation where you feel like a soul stiched decades in the past while your body and mind grows. What makes me even more sad is that I realize the negative outcomes on a surface to medium level and the cycle of toxic shame and anger turned inward becomes deeper as I try to not use the maladaptive responses that I have little to no control over unless I conciously try to do other things that people manage to do unconciously.
Amazing comment. Thank you for writing what for so long I have tried to express but have not been able to communicate adequately.
I also think you have a lot of insight.
Thank you for sharing. Don't give up on yourself.
I'll share my story here in case it also helps others.
I just recently woke up to the fact that I have BPD, after I had a favorite person abandon me. I was so blind and avoidant to my own self destructive tendencies that it took that last destructive obsessive relationship blowing up in my face to wake me up. I never want to have a FP again.
I started going to therapy for the first time 5 months ago. My therapist doesn't know any trauma therapy techniques and it took me many months for me to convince him that I have BPD. But I did. He eventually agreed.
It was hard for him and myself and others to notice though because I have Quiet BPD. I'm high functioning. I express most of my destruction towards myself.
Then I realized that I really do relate to Complex PTSD. I told my therapist I think I have both. It doesn't matter that CPTSD isn't in the DSM.
Having both comorbid affects the severity of the symptoms.
I have disorganized attachment style. I relate to experiencing 3 out of the 4 trauma responses in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn (everything but fight). Pete walker goes into depth in his web page:
pete-walker.com/fourFs_TraumaTypologyComplexPTSD.htm
My mother has CPTSD and she displays all the qualities of a narcissist/fight response. I didn't realize she was like that until about a year ago when she abandoned me. I was hiding it from myself.
I bought Dr. FOX'S workbook and a workbook on CPTSD called, A Practical Guide to Complex PTSD: Compassionate Strategies to Begin Healing from Childhood Trauma by Arielle Schwartz. And I've started working through both. I'm educating my therapist on the topic.
I'm thankful I have insurance that covers my therapy and that he's able to see me twice a week. He said he would do three if he had the availability. And even though all we do is talk therapy, and he doesn't have the trauma techniques that I really need.....his talk therapy is helping me stabilize myself more. And I'm so glad to have him as a resource.
I even went to a shaman and did 2 different soul retrieval sessions after I read the book:
Soul Retrieval: Mending the Fragmented Self by Sandra Ingerman.
The sessions did help me get more in touch with my emotions that had been cut off from long term dissociation after childhood abuse/trauma.
The book: The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel Van Der Kolk, is also an excellent resource.
I am really just beginning on my healing journey. But after spending so many years avoiding, dissociating, and taking care of my toxic parents .....I'm glad I'm finally fighting to help myself
And it is hellish. And it is long. But I won't give up. All of us with BPD and Complex trauma deserve love, compassion, help and support.
So many important points!
Grey_blue... thank you for this really deeply thoughtful comment. I read it yesterday already which made me think about your view and came back to it now.
What you wrote really makes sense to me. I dont know about the therapies you mentioned but will look them up.
The analogy of someone with BPD to a toddler's emotional state in a grown up body is terrific and helped me look at myself from a different angle.
A couple of weeks ago in someone's comment I came across the term "echoism" to which I can clearly see myself in it. Dr Fox I think has got somewhere a video of why BPD sufferers are attracted to narcissists.
As a 'quiet borderliner' I turned as well my negativity inwards. And like you very correctly wrote at the end, it's only me having to actively think of how not to act which would be normal and a subconscious matter for others.
I live in a part of the world where basic healthcare is many times hard to come by. Mental healthcare is a complete different topic considering there still being a stigma in society around the topic.
It's only thru channels like this one and web links here and there plus esp esp valuable comments likes yours which help me and for sure many others even if only baby steps.
May I ask you- if you don't want to answer it's perfectly ok - how is your dissociation, like in what form?
Finally, I liked the idea of not calling it "disorder".
It's stunted emotional growth being stuck back in time where we should have developed emotionally and the self .
English is not my native language (German backgroud) but I hope I made myself understood.
I wish you all the best, and to all those reading....
@Cj Johnson very down to earth comment! I came across a saying which always crosses my mind...
Some memories never leave your bones.
Like salt in the sea, they become part of you
- and you carry them.
So, it's about being able to carry them in the best possible way....
Thumbs up for your complementary comment to above!
Noone in this industry cares 2 hoots
ONLY your maker Jesus can heal your broken heart/psyche ---------
I especially like the part at the end about crisis help. This was something my therapist brought up when we talked openly about BPD for the first time. Sometimes all that is needed for everyone involved is simply: awareness. I definitely do not want to disrupt the life of someone who's helping me survive, and she definitely wants to help me with all the professional tools that she has at her disposal. We haven't really stated it out loud like I'm doing now, but I just want to assure you and everyone interested in understanding the BPD mind that there is hope inside our brains. All we need is someone kind enough and motivated enough to help us shine some light on it 🪻
Dr. You had a video where you said if were going through hell we just had to keep going to get out from it.I though about it do much reapting it on my head over and over. I did it dr. Went through hell. My mom passed in the hospital yesterday. But i kept going like you said. Hell is over now imma seek more help to cope with my los and my cbpd