I'm in addiction my whole life. At age of 14 i started with opiates(morphine, tramadol, codeine, heroin) and all other drugs. Been in rehab 4 times always relapse. My family saved my life always support me and help. I'm 36 now and last 5 years i didn't relapse once(on subutex maintenance since 2009)...this is my last chance and I'm 100% sure never go back to drugs again. Your videos are inspirational and people can learn a lot
@Chris LA yes, when abused it is. I used it very short term. When my pills were done i could feel the mild but crappy withdrawal. Similar to a hangover. Never refilled next prescription.....took 2 weeks to feel right again. No thanks. 1 minute, 1 hour, 1 day discomfort of anxiety is nothing compared to what drugs are causing someone. Poison.
The scariest thing to me as an addict is hearing someone say "I had five-six years of sobriety and then..."etc. Like I can be clean and doing good for five fucking years and then fall again in one day? Fuck this is no joke man
This is how I feel. I’m clean from Fentanyl for about 9 months now. And everyday is hard. I sit back and think like-I really gotta fight this for the rest of my entire being? Its daunting.
Hello. My name is Sonny. I'm 51 years young, and used drugs for close to half my life. I'm in recovery from powder and crack cocaine. I did most every drug, but Cocaine was my huge demon that almost killed me. They talk about having a monkey on your back, referring to a person having a very bad addiction to drugs. Shit, I felt like I had the Planet of Of The Apes on my back. Biggest and hardest battle that I ever fought in my life. In Early July 2013, I had a bad heart attack and stroke, that was very much needed and long overdue, because it Scared Me Straight. I lost many important years in my life, that I can't get back. I've seen people with 40 years clean and sober relapse. There is no cure for alcoholism and drug addiction. The best and smartest thing that any alcoholic or addict can do for themselves, is to stop living in active addiction, and get into recovery, to save their lives and get their life back. That can be done by dropping out of active addiction, and putting the disease in remission, back in it's ugly cage, by staying consistently clean and sober, no matter what happens in your life, regardless to how bad or upsetting a scenario is. . I'm coming up on 11 years clean, this upcoming July 18,,2024. Luckily for me, God gave me one last chance to redeem myself. No doubt it was my last chance, since God gave me so many chances already. To this day, almost 11 years ago, now, I can still vividly remember every second of that bad heart attack and stroke. All of my doctors and nurses tell me I'm a walking Miracle to be alive, and especially to not have become a permanent vegetable for life. Luckily for me, I, nor can anybody else tell that I had that bad heart attack and stroke. I'm fully convinced that God gave me my last chance, because I was willing to do something I never ever did before, in the many years that I did drugs, which was to throw the cocaine away, by flushing it down the toilet. I literally wore my body down, over the years, with cocaine. My body can no longer handle, even the smallest amount of cocaine. I will never ever do it again in my life. Sadly, alcoholics and addicts already have the odds stacked against them, with their being a very low success rste in recovery. If a person wants it bad enough though, and they fight for their life, it's doable. I was a bad chronic relapser for years. I would always fuck up and relapse at the 14th to 15th months mark. Recovery is for those that want it, not for those that need it, because every bad off alcoholic and addict Needs It. If they don't want it, or if they want to do it for any other reason, than to do it for themselves, the chance of it working, is slim to none. I would never relapse for short periods of time, when I would go back out. My last relapse was a 3 year run, until I was scared straight in early July 2013. I was very hard headed for years, always wanting to do things my way, and never wanting to listen to anybody, since I foolishly thought I knew everything. I had to almost die, to learn how to live again. The disease of addiction is more powerful than any one person. The only thing that is stronger than the Disease Of Addiction is God and Jesus Christ. Anybody can stop drinking, snd stop using at any moment. The hard part is Staying Consistently Stopped, no matter how hard or bad life gets. You don't drink and you don't use, no matter what. Anything bad or upsetting in life that happens, will only become that much worse, if a person drinks or uses again. God Will Always Help Somebody As Long As They Are Willing To Do The Footwork and Have The Willingness To Help Themselves. Take Care Brother. Much Love and Respect From Sonny in New Orleans, La.
Hello this is Billy I have an update. I am recently finished with fentanyl!!! I am deep into a new life which is about LOVE and a re connect with the prime creator. I hopefully will coming back to do an update for SWU. I will fill you in on specifics of my energy and hopefully I can fill in the gaps for you .
He’s grown and knows better! I don’t have a lot of sympathy for the ones who get clean for long periods and then deliberately make the choice to go back and then chooses a much stronger drug each time he Chooses to refuel his life up🤷♀️🤷♀️ on top of that he blames his choices on “Not having a choice” which he clearly had, along with every opportunity, which most addicts have never had! Spoiled rich kid
@@rhodamiller3031 your quite judgemental and self righteous. You are making a criticism without enough information and it's obvious you have a bitterness that permeates everything you say.
@@Thoughtripso happy to hear you’ve found a new path and enjoying life. Ignore any negativity and soak up the new joys of life. Wishing you all the best!
Man this is me all day. I'm 26 and just relapsed worse than ever. The only therapy I get is listening to other addicts. I'm on my way to a meeting now. This video came at the exact right time
I'm 100% addicted to SWU. I find it interesting how so many people that Mark interviews are very likeable. SWU is really helping me alot. And for that I thank you.
This guy was offered life on a silver platter. Addiction is blind people. It can happen to ANY OF US. Remember that. I'm almost 1 year clean from a 16 year addiction.
Still have to work for it. I was offered a place in an art academy, but i had to do the work. I also wonder how well he would have taken the fame, if any. Eta: And congratulations❤
28:15 "God, I could've, should've done something different, but I did what I did because I believed I didn't have a choice" As a 51 year-old recovering heroin addict, I REALLY relate. Great interview
I really enjoyed this interview. Lately I haven’t been able to finish watching a lot of them because they are just too sad. Billy is so self-aware and I believe that awareness is the first step to change. Keep on Truckin Billy. There is Hope in your story.
Im 18 months sober n clean im moving to a beautiful house and i got my licence and brand new car, im playing music live again, but most of all i actually like myself and enjoy life. Not all the time lifes like weather sometimes good sometimes bad, but i learned 2 things 2 grt somewhere youvr never been you have to do things youve never done and nothing grows in a comfort zone
Just found your channel about a week ago and it’s doing what it’s supposed to! I stopped and Took a man and woman food that had a sign that literally just said food on it. We own our own business and it was right down the road so I took them food from there. I thought “what would Mark do”? I’m not saying that to get a thank you just telling you that in my opinion if everyone in the comments did one nice thing today the world would be a much better place.
Your absolute right,if only everyone could do what u did &help one person,imagine what the world would be like,I live in Sheffield England& we get homeless people in residential areas sat outside supermarkets,I always ask them what they want 2 eat&drink that I'd like 2 buy them in the shop&also get a few more things that I hope they will like&give them a few £'s...I'm a functioning addict of 25yrs,but never been homeless or had 2 beg or sell my body,so watching allot of marks interviewes &hearing how awful some of their lives have been absolutely breaks my heart&makes me wish more people could watch marks channel&learn that humanity needs 2 change big-time &watching Mark's channel they can see how broken our society is&learn how 2 make it a better place,💜
Did you let them in your car? 😬 hopefully you kept yourself safe. Please don’t misconstrue my comment-what you did was awesome and while we def need more of that, folks like that can be dangerous. (I say that cause I used to be there 😔 the things I did to get my “needs met” i never would have imagined I’d do) Anyways, thank you for you kindness ✨ stay safe
Damn. Billy has been on a hamster wheel basically his whole life. Even tho he relapsed a bunch of times, I was honestly happy to hear that he maintained sobriety for an extended period of time each time so I hope he can do it for the rest of his life once he's able to detox. I think he can do it as long as he doesn't let his emotions about whatever he may go through derail his progress. Good luck, Billy!
I’m thirty three and sadly I’ve been using narcotics since age ten. This is not the life I would have chosen for myself but I’ve learned things no one else can learn unless they have the same history. I hope someday soon I can turn the chapter and begin a sober life
You most definitely can! Do you realise how hard you need to work to make addiction work for you. When you realise this it’s not so hard to break free. I wish you all the best in uncovering this. X
Fascinating. For an addict, the problem is that the drugs/alcohol DO work- for awhile. Billy is refreshing in his total lack of denial. His clear-eyed awareness should help him to accept that he cannot use booze/substances. And acceptance of this mysterious life-condition must run deep. Sobriety can be kind of a boring drag (I'm 37 years sober), but that's just how it is. He needs to be done with the nonsense.
Remarkable story. It is fascinating that Billy never seemed to end up on the streets. The lesson with this story is there are classes of addicts just like in society in general. He is from a privileged background and has never really left it.
Addiction truly can strike anyone, I too had a good upbringing and bu some peoples opinions had every opportunity in life, however a strong self destructive streak was always present and when I combined that with heroin and crack my life went on hold for the next 22 years, been in recovery 5 years now and anything you say about recovery can sound cliched but the message to anyone in addiction is you can achieve recovery when you are ready
Yeah i really liked the part where he talked about shooting up dope while beating the shit out of his gf to almost the point of unconsciousness. How captivating!
Billy is something else, stealing the family car at 14 and driving from New Jersey to Florida? Billy is extra special, he's craftier than he lets on. Good luck Billy!
*This Billy guy is really an interesting character. He could definitely get back into acting if he chose to, he has that "it" factor which makes him unique. Hope he succeeds in whatever he does. Would love to see an update video from him in the near future if possible.*
I love hearing people's stories, especially when they are honest. I admire your honesty Billy. You will make it. You have more than most, you just gotta believe in yourself.
I don't think you realize this guy is not telling the WHOLE truth. His honesty is a cover for your sympathy. Addiction is the devil in disguise. 16 years sober.
If he were lying for sympathy, in my opinion, he would have left out alot of the things that kinda make him look bad. I believe his story. Just because you are an addict doesn't automatically mean u lie.
Really enjoyed hearing your story Billy. We make the wrong choices sometimes but thats all in the past and matters only in so far as it affects the present
Thank you Mark for these interviews. Yes Billy you made some mistakes, we all have , but the important part is that you realize your mistakes and can now move forward having opened up and released your feelings. Good luck with your progress, you can do this!
It's great to hear somebody be honest about the possible benefits of drug use. Nothing is all evil or all good. Life isn't like that, but u get shot down at best if u say that out loud
This was a literal tsunami hitting me out of left field. The RUclips algorithm has truly out done itself. So glad to see you still not only alive but with such strong fortitude of mind after all these years. Despite what you had to endure you never let go of your respectful demeanor. Hats off to you Matey ,🏴☠️
Listening to this guy talk about how Crystal saved his life and heroin worked..makes one wonder..if mental health care was easier to obtain, carried less stigma, prescription psych drugs did not come with such debilitating side effect, and those seeking mental healthcare didn't feel judge..maybe these addicts would not be a burden on society as they are..Obviously this guy suffered with some kind of mental health issues at 12 that he immediately found relief from in Alcohol..
I believe something had to be going on. Some people start having difficulties due to a learning disability. If not dealt with can lead to problems later in life. Impulse control can really mess up a person's life.
Billy's story stirred up a bunch of memories of my own life choices and that of others around me. With all the help in the world, it's hard to get out of the rabbit hole when an individual's fallen in too deep. From a scientific standpoint, each and every person's brain is wired to react differently to substances. For some, they do nothing to hook them in, while for others it practically seals their fates. Only our personal agenda and resolve can keep us away from trouble, besides sheer luck or karma. I'm glad Billy's out of the worst and is getting better.
I was going to comment a harsh comment, myself being over 2 years abstinent. But when he said he was off of stuff for 2 years and he prepared for a relapse, man..Got a taste of distinction coming off the alcohol. The worst part about addicts like him, and maybe their most revered trait for dealers and the users who get around him, is that he can enjoy destroying himself, and can keep a straight face for that time. Truly unique, hope he can stand up against the demons of the rush, can move on with his life. I wish him the best!
It's so sad when a 12 year old destroys everything they've worked so hard to build. I remember building a fort from cardboard boxes that we could use while playing cowboys and Indians . One day I lost and got so frustrated I destroyed the fort out of anger . I took me hours to build but only seconds to destroy 😥
Perhaps because they are core memories. There's also a difference between long term and short term memories. Especially living in a haze if a person is using and abusing substance when they get older.
Man I love this guy. Billy, thank you for sharing and being genuine. You have a good heart and an interesting perspective. Mark, you are the absolute man for continuing to do these interviews and helping people. I’m always left feeling grateful for my own life and inspired to live the best I can. Thank you.
I think his flawed view on relapse as losing all you've worked for and having to start over is really hindering his ability to keep his sobriety under control.
I feel like I've been looking/talking into the mirror for 30 minutes. Excluding being accepted into the Actors Studio in NYC of course. Always interesting, thanks!
This is one of the most intriguing interviews ever. I’m currently taking two courses about addictions and drugs on the brain and this is so inspiring knowing how addiction can really mess you up. It’s such a love/hate thing with your brain and your body. Thank you for sharing your story Billy! ✨
I like this man, "I did not want to get sober at the time". Self awareness! Really hope he will succeed and get sober. For the rest of his life. God bless🤍
Something really doesn’t feel right about the story where he got those charges… if she was into all that stuff and did it for months, how did he end up in jail for so long?
I’ve been looking for someone to comment about that. I’m so confused. What were his charges? Why would she do that if he wasn’t guilty of something? I am just confused. Why is he a registered sex offender bc he pleaded guilty to what charges ?
I relate w this guy Similar story to me a bit. I would always self sabotage when I was starting to do good. Up and down life. I was a sloppy ass drunk. I got my depression under control with my Dr and one day woke up and said I'm done w this life. One day at a time. Grateful. God bless all and thanks for letting me share.
“Crystal meth cured my life”…now that truly shows the long term effect of years of substance abuse starting at a young age on the human brain. I pray for his sobriety. I pray he finds whatever it is he is looking for….
Almost any other drug is better than Alcohol... the withdrawals WILL kill you. And it's like your worst nightmare but real life look up delirium tremens.... if it weren't for meth honestly I'd still be drinking, and who knows I could've been dead cause I was _juuust_ starting to slip into full alcohol dependency....
@@9ckr716 it's because all microbiome is changing and fungus starts growing into more advances form and taking advantage on the liver. We are more microbes to than ourselves. It is fungus that makes human wants alcohol in the first place. Every person with alcohol dependency have some antibiotic story in their early life they don't even know cause not remember. You are right alcohol is the worst drug. Tobacco as well.
This is such a classic meth story. I understand him very much. The difference between him and I is that I realized I needed to completely surrender and he hasn't figured that out yet. He bought the lie that meth told him.
I also went to white deer run! Great facility! I wish I could’ve come across you billy! We could’ve been super helpful for each other! Much love my friends and much love to you mark!
Bro, this is insane I live in ny but I did live in New Jersey! And my ex was from winter park Florida and had a ton of family there so I was down there a few times! I feel like a lot of stuff is aligning the more I get into the video the more stuff keeps popping up!
White deer run, I’ve been there myself. I’d love to talk to Billy, I’m a Jersey guy myself with a somewhat similar story and was able to in the last 7 years clean up and build a successful life for myself.
Speaking as a person that has dealt with addiction my advice is to get help. 2 weeks of physical pain is better that a lifetime of pain or death. Mental health therapy is key to being successful with the cravings and the chase for the drug. It’s time. Stop with your excuses. Believe in yourself. If you can go though all the crap that you have it’s will be nothing to get sober.
It’s amazing how we can see in sobriety how much better life can be, yet that relapse is always RIGHTHERE. That’s why we need to be grateful everyday and try to remember.
Why not just do some drugs and quit when you need to? Lol I've never understood people who call themselves "addicts" or "drug addicted" 😅. It's like someone with a "food" addiction.... hilarious. Air addictions? Water addicted? Like to take a nice crap addicted..... everything is a choice
@@juan4realz942 because it doesn't just work like that for some people. For some people when they consume drugs and alcohol it taps into something and it's very hard to turn off.... well, it never gets turned off which is why they say the monkey never leaves its always on your back.
@@juan4realz942 personal choice yes, however by the time you even have the chance to make that choice, something has already made it for you. For a MAJORITY of the time. Obviously there are times where you can fight it off and be successful for a really long time. But the whole purpose of things like AA is to build a support group in your life so that when the 'monkey on your back' begins to take over (and believe me it always does) you have the people to distract you and pull you out to prevent you from slipping back 'off the wagon' so to speak.
I hope you find your way, Billy. I hope you realise you have the strength to deal with life and loss and pain without having to numb it out. You can do it. Give yourself the chance. Seems the last time you were yourself was a long time ago. Keep on dreaming ❤️
Brought back a lot of memories. Except for me there was no time out. Life at 100 mile an hour. Don't have a clue how I made it, but I did. Clean and sober over 30 years now.
Late nite Mark?or early morning? Billy White Deer Run? I am from PA..I can relate to ur story in many ways. I hope life treats you well! I am proud of you for getting your BA! I have my associates and it's a struggle but I know you can do so well, you have already. I really enjoy your story I hope that I can see a way out like you did in ur 30s. Billy be safe.
I became addicted to amphetamine and heroin in 1990. Been 5 times in long term treatment 5 times. . My 6th now. Been to acute rehab over 100 times. Was clean for 4 years with NA the first time. Relapsed. Last time I was clean 10 years with Subutex. Relapsed at the end of the pandemic due to loss of income, job and following depression. Never give up.
White Deer Run baby! And the mountains of Pennsylvania all right! Cove Forge! Williamsburg PA my life has been nothing love drugs and alcohol to thank you for your story Billy! Will open up another door of perception
I like the following of Miss Ivy’s perspective on it is what it is with this interview Mark. Clever indeed…..clearly this fella has thrown in the white towel. It is what it is
Imagine what he could have done had he gone ahead and researched how drugs affects our brains and found something to give his family hope at him being sober. I pray all of those addicted like I was finds a reason to get clean.
Researching for himself. Remember, he had so many pitfalls. There really hasn`t been a beginning or an end. That´s hard drugs in a nutshell, legal or illegal.
We know you can do it, do it for the animals, your mom, and ALL of the other people you can help that are in the situation you are in. Remember when you wished someone was there? You are very intelligent and were dealt these cards to help. One love from Tampa Bay Billy!
Because he’s gay, and gay culture for people his age introduced heavy drug use but also having to look good. So they would know how to party , take supplements and drink water. It’s the lack of sleep , dehydration and poor diet that makes you look like faces of meth.
I'm sorry this happened to you Mark. You don't deserve this. This makes me cry. I hope people can see through this & give you the respect you deserve Mark. God bless you!
14:05 strangely enough I have to agree. Meth saved my life as well. After 10yrs of heroin oxy coke and crack addiction within 1 day of meth use I completely forgot I was addicted to the rest! But the amazing thing was after maybe a year of meth use I was able to completely stop. Something I could never do with the opiates.. I believe I rewired my brain with the help of meth. 5yrs completely clean now.
@@glen.simpson they’re fine now but they did hurt a lot while using and I brushed them obsessively and constantly tried to keep my mouth from being dry while using but no matter if I smoked it or put it into capsules and took it orally my teeth did hurt and I lost one in the back (which was already giving me problems before meth) No such thing as a perfect drug 😥
@@rockydubois2418 just was wondering having seen a few examples.....seems like certain folks get their already nasty diets more messed up when they get on meth.... they are like guzzling soda, not eating real foods, then the calcium starts falling from the sky in their head..... so I bet it's the lifestyle, then when you add the meth it's like a punch to the head. Glad you found the good in something potentially dangerous, although not overly surprising, seeing how people find great pleasures from stimulants like adhd drugs and coke.....
This is great. I saw a true life crime show where it was stated that the interrogation of the murderer went for (I think it was) three hours. The woman being interrogated spoke non stop the whole time. The police later stated that they did not say a single word during the whole interrogation. This guy can TALK
once i read that pre desposition of addiction is already "written" in our genetical code. if this is true, it sure takes a lot of effort to beat the genetics. great videos Mark, i'm learning a lot. greetings from Croatia ✌🏻💜
Actually it’s not, it’s so called “addictive personality” and some of traits which lead to addiction are: Related to others who have developed addiction Experiencing other mental health disorders Adventurous and risk-taking Disconnected and cautious Obsessive and compulsive Apathetic Unable to self-regulate Having these traits ( some of them) and bad environment is a way to go into addiction
I'm not an addict, just been around them my entire life. I used my fair share of drugs but I don't have the mentality to become addicted. I don't want to live a lie. No offense, genuinely drugs & alcohol used to be very fun for me but I realized it's phony. It's a cheap way to escape & whatever you're feeling/thinking whilst high is an illusion. It's not really you or real life. I have to be present. Not saying sobriety is fun either, I just know seeing how it's ruined others it's never worth it. Maybe when you're at the end of your life but we have to be here for ourselves and others we love. Can't check out yet. Lost my mom to alcoholism, my ex fiance is alive but nearly soulless from meth... If you're going through it I'm sorry. It turns good people inside out. There's always hope, don't give up. God bless.
It's a guy who isn't meant to do substances. It could be anything. I've known guys like this where going out for a night of drinks could actually change their whole life. Most people just drink, pick up the next day and move on. He gets a taste of liquor and next thing you know he's moving to Boca Raton or whatever. I sympathize. I'm like this with gambling. Everyone takes a couple hundred to the casino, spends a few hours, and comes home. I'll go down some bunny-hole, be there for three days with no sleep, I'm doing blow by day two, selling blood for money, at a pawn shop, etc. So when that becomes clear that this is the case, it occurs to me I just can't do these things. Some people can do anything and come out on the other side unchanged. Others, these vices can really take over your mind.
@@thematriarchy2075 I don't know. I was out of school before that got really big and was never tested. I don't know if it's that, but I do have a certain mental hyperactivity.
@@thematriarchy2075 I can only speak for myself, but I don't think it was attention issues or mental hyperactivity that led me to the drugs. Maybe a little of the hyperactivity, which leads to a certain dash of adventurousness or in my case, the need to find a drug that takes the ten voices in my head and reduces it to a more manageable 2-3 voices. What it really came down to for me was a seemingly inborn need to get into monkey business, an almost innate naughtiness that was really organically-occurring within me. This is a bad topic for me because despite decades of this, I never went to treatment or really learned much about the science of addiction.
Billy, I pray that you can find that support system that you need to help carry you through detox and all that goes along with that. I'm so happy that you've come full circle with your faith. Let go, let God. I knowwww...easier said than done. Remember, you've got an amazing story to tell and think of all of the people you will be able to bless once you can put this all behind you.
Usually when a girl has you move in within 2 weeks of knowing them, they're not the best decision. That doesn't signal stable, intelligent woman. Rough sex usually doesn't involve going to unconsciousness, but with a longterm sober spouse you trust (not a move in after 2 weeker type of gal), not always a bad thing. After a hung jury or mistrial, not have they already invested all that money for naught, but to win after more time has passed, memories get less credible, has lower odds for them than the case they just failed to prove.
As an (ex) consistent pot user these videos and comments really made me think about my use. Decided to cut back on weed and am taking a month(ish) break now. Really made me realize the path I was walking, not necessarily for the potency of the drug I used, but I noticed how I was drifting away from my responsibilities and passions. Stay safe guys
@@alexrossi5227 Weed can be super addictive. Just has to be your drug of choice and it’s all downhill after that. Luckily, the downsides of a weed addiction are extremely minor in comparison to harder drugs.. but the addiction can be the same. Crazy stuff our brains can do!
Your whole channel should be shown to the world smh every video I have not seen. But I just know it's nothing but raw . And it gave me a new level of respect as sad as it is I'm very disgusted with my self for this but we are all just HUMAN.... I mean it's not that I forgot but it's just crazy and sad that the simplest of thiings can leave your mind and u move about your day judging people in your own head prior . Crazy how we can be as humans .
I'm in addiction my whole life. At age of 14 i started with opiates(morphine, tramadol, codeine, heroin) and all other drugs. Been in rehab 4 times always relapse. My family saved my life always support me and help. I'm 36 now and last 5 years i didn't relapse once(on subutex maintenance since 2009)...this is my last chance and I'm 100% sure never go back to drugs again. Your videos are inspirational and people can learn a lot
Sending you love and strength in your journey of healing ❤️🩹
YESS congrats. I went to rehab 13 times before I got clean and now have 3 years and am totally set free
Recovery comes in all different ways. It’s okay to get any help one needs. Congratulations!
@Chris LA yes, when abused it is. I used it very short term. When my pills were done i could feel the mild but crappy withdrawal. Similar to a hangover. Never refilled next prescription.....took 2 weeks to feel right again. No thanks. 1 minute, 1 hour, 1 day discomfort of anxiety is nothing compared to what drugs are causing someone. Poison.
@Chris LA ~ it definitely can be bad.
The scariest thing to me as an addict is hearing someone say "I had five-six years of sobriety and then..."etc. Like I can be clean and doing good for five fucking years and then fall again in one day? Fuck this is no joke man
This is how I feel. I’m clean from Fentanyl for about 9 months now. And everyday is hard. I sit back and think like-I really gotta fight this for the rest of my entire being? Its daunting.
@@0mfg0wnthope you're still doing well
Hello. My name is Sonny. I'm 51 years young, and used drugs for close to half my life. I'm in recovery from powder and crack cocaine. I did most every drug, but Cocaine was my huge demon that almost killed me. They talk about having a monkey on your back, referring to a person having a very bad addiction to drugs. Shit, I felt like I had the Planet of Of The Apes on my back. Biggest and hardest battle that I ever fought in my life. In Early July 2013, I had a bad heart attack and stroke, that was very much needed and long overdue, because it Scared Me Straight. I lost many important years in my life, that I can't get back. I've seen people with 40 years clean and sober relapse. There is no cure for alcoholism and drug addiction. The best and smartest thing that any alcoholic or addict can do for themselves, is to stop living in active addiction, and get into recovery, to save their lives and get their life back. That can be done by dropping out of active addiction, and putting the disease in remission, back in it's ugly cage, by staying consistently clean and sober, no matter what happens in your life, regardless to how bad or upsetting a scenario is. . I'm coming up on 11 years clean, this upcoming July 18,,2024. Luckily for me, God gave me one last chance to redeem myself. No doubt it was my last chance, since God gave me so many chances already. To this day, almost 11 years ago, now, I can still vividly remember every second of that bad heart attack and stroke. All of my doctors and nurses tell me I'm a walking Miracle to be alive, and especially to not have become a permanent vegetable for life. Luckily for me, I, nor can anybody else tell that I had that bad heart attack and stroke. I'm fully convinced that God gave me my last chance, because I was willing to do something I never ever did before, in the many years that I did drugs, which was to throw the cocaine away, by flushing it down the toilet. I literally wore my body down, over the years, with cocaine. My body can no longer handle, even the smallest amount of cocaine. I will never ever do it again in my life. Sadly, alcoholics and addicts already have the odds stacked against them, with their being a very low success rste in recovery. If a person wants it bad enough though, and they fight for their life, it's doable. I was a bad chronic relapser for years. I would always fuck up and relapse at the 14th to 15th months mark. Recovery is for those that want it, not for those that need it, because every bad off alcoholic and addict Needs It. If they don't want it, or if they want to do it for any other reason, than to do it for themselves, the chance of it working, is slim to none. I would never relapse for short periods of time, when I would go back out. My last relapse was a 3 year run, until I was scared straight in early July 2013. I was very hard headed for years, always wanting to do things my way, and never wanting to listen to anybody, since I foolishly thought I knew everything. I had to almost die, to learn how to live again. The disease of addiction is more powerful than any one person. The only thing that is stronger than the Disease Of Addiction is God and Jesus Christ. Anybody can stop drinking, snd stop using at any moment. The hard part is Staying Consistently Stopped, no matter how hard or bad life gets. You don't drink and you don't use, no matter what. Anything bad or upsetting in life that happens, will only become that much worse, if a person drinks or uses again. God Will Always Help Somebody As Long As They Are Willing To Do The Footwork and Have The Willingness To Help Themselves. Take Care Brother. Much Love and Respect From Sonny in New Orleans, La.
Yes, I've got 1 year, and I feel like the chains are broken, but " what if"😢
Same
Hello this is Billy I have an update. I am recently finished with fentanyl!!! I am deep into a new life which is about LOVE and a re connect with the prime creator. I hopefully will coming back to do an update for SWU. I will fill you in on specifics of my energy and hopefully I can fill in the gaps for you .
I’m always rootin’ for ya matey! You’ll always be a valued friend; respectful, generous, kind, and unintentionally hilarious. 🏴☠️
He’s grown and knows better! I don’t have a lot of sympathy for the ones who get clean for long periods and then deliberately make the choice to go back and then chooses a much stronger drug each time he Chooses to refuel his life up🤷♀️🤷♀️ on top of that he blames his choices on “Not having a choice” which he clearly had, along with every opportunity, which most addicts have never had! Spoiled rich kid
I am so proud of you, Billy!
@@rhodamiller3031 your quite judgemental and self righteous. You are making a criticism without enough information and it's obvious you have a bitterness that permeates everything you say.
@@Thoughtripso happy to hear you’ve found a new path and enjoying life. Ignore any negativity and soak up the new joys of life. Wishing you all the best!
Man this is me all day. I'm 26 and just relapsed worse than ever. The only therapy I get is listening to other addicts. I'm on my way to a meeting now. This video came at the exact right time
❤
How you going with it ?
@@Laayon19 9 months sober and in welding school now. Life Is great 👍👍
@@madisonbliss1528 that's awesome 🙂
@@madisonbliss1528 Good job buddy. Best thing to be addicted to a good job making good money, women and good food! haha
I'm 100% addicted to SWU. I find it interesting how so many people that Mark interviews are very likeable. SWU is really helping me alot. And for that I thank you.
Thats great..keep going and learning
Check out softwhiteundercasey
This guy was offered life on a silver platter. Addiction is blind people. It can happen to ANY OF US. Remember that. I'm almost 1 year clean from a 16 year addiction.
Still have to work for it.
I was offered a place in an art academy, but i had to do the work.
I also wonder how well he would have taken the fame, if any.
Eta: And congratulations❤
Godbless you, keep going
Hope you can stay clean. Good job so far!
Good shit bro 💯
@@thematriarchy2075 I wondered how far he would have gotten in his professional career before his life unraveled.
Hi, honey!🙋😘
28:15 "God, I could've, should've done something different, but I did what I did because I believed I didn't have a choice" As a 51 year-old recovering heroin addict, I REALLY relate. Great interview
❤
I really enjoyed this interview. Lately I haven’t been able to finish watching a lot of them because they are just too sad. Billy is so self-aware and I believe that awareness is the first step to change. Keep on Truckin Billy. There is Hope in your story.
I can’t finish them because bits they same old, same old….
“showing up and being responsible is one my biggest fears”
amen brother
He’s got insight. That’s a great quality. Thanks for sharing Billy and Mark.
Best of luck to getting sober!
Im 18 months sober n clean im moving to a beautiful house and i got my licence and brand new car, im playing music live again, but most of all i actually like myself and enjoy life. Not all the time lifes like weather sometimes good sometimes bad, but i learned 2 things 2 grt somewhere youvr never been you have to do things youve never done and nothing grows in a comfort zone
Alcohol is a drug. The fact that it is legal and other drugs are illegal is insane.
As I sit here drinking before work 😫 you ain’t lying
No doubt.
Totally agree. Especially now that they're having good results using psychedelics with serious mental health issues like PTSD.
Very true
It's one of the most destructive, most irresponsible drugs ever created.
This is exhausting just listening to it. I can't imagine living this.
well we r not all as perfect as you darln.
@@davechristian7543 yeah I'm far from perfect. 💗🙏
Just found your channel about a week ago and it’s doing what it’s supposed to! I stopped and Took a man and woman food that had a sign that literally just said food on it. We own our own business and it was right down the road so I took them food from there. I thought “what would Mark do”? I’m not saying that to get a thank you just telling you that in my opinion if everyone in the comments did one nice thing today the world would be a much better place.
Your absolute right,if only everyone could do what u did &help one person,imagine what the world would be like,I live in Sheffield England& we get homeless people in residential areas sat outside supermarkets,I always ask them what they want 2 eat&drink that I'd like 2 buy them in the shop&also get a few more things that I hope they will like&give them a few £'s...I'm a functioning addict of 25yrs,but never been homeless or had 2 beg or sell my body,so watching allot of marks interviewes &hearing how awful some of their lives have been absolutely breaks my heart&makes me wish more people could watch marks channel&learn that humanity needs 2 change big-time &watching Mark's channel they can see how broken our society is&learn how 2 make it a better place,💜
Exactly! Amen.😉💯👍👏👏👏❤️
Great comment!
Did you let them in your car? 😬 hopefully you kept yourself safe. Please don’t misconstrue my comment-what you did was awesome and while we def need more of that, folks like that can be dangerous. (I say that cause I used to be there 😔 the things I did to get my “needs met” i never would have imagined I’d do)
Anyways, thank you for you kindness ✨ stay safe
Look up Patrick he’s my FAVORITE I think you’ll like him but there’s SOOOOOOOI MANY other great others also!
Damn. Billy has been on a hamster wheel basically his whole life. Even tho he relapsed a bunch of times, I was honestly happy to hear that he maintained sobriety for an extended period of time each time so I hope he can do it for the rest of his life once he's able to detox. I think he can do it as long as he doesn't let his emotions about whatever he may go through derail his progress. Good luck, Billy!
I like your analysis 🧐
9o
O9
O9
Oooo
I’m thirty three and sadly I’ve been using narcotics since age ten. This is not the life I would have chosen for myself but I’ve learned things no one else can learn unless they have the same history. I hope someday soon I can turn the chapter and begin a sober life
You can!
I’m 33 also and I too am struggling with a nasty fentanyl addiction 😔 I’m trying real hard to get clean but it’s HARD. We can do this friend!
You can for sure
You most definitely can! Do
you realise how hard you need to work to make addiction work for you. When you realise this it’s not so hard to break free. I wish you all the best in uncovering this. X
@@ellamayoxoxo9510 Hope you are doing well ❤
Fascinating. For an addict, the problem is that the drugs/alcohol DO work- for awhile. Billy is refreshing in his total lack of denial. His clear-eyed awareness should help him to accept that he cannot use booze/substances. And acceptance of this mysterious life-condition must run deep. Sobriety can be kind of a boring drag (I'm 37 years sober), but that's just how it is. He needs to be done with the nonsense.
You need an alternative. He loves drugs more than anything.
@@perrypelican9476
Booze and drugs are lots of fun as they ruin your life...🤔
They lure you in...you feel great! Then they turn on you, demanding everything and giving misery in return. Like a narcissistic lover...
@@miapdx503 who hurt u
@@miapdx503 You make perfect sense. Well said.👍
Thank you for sharing your story Billy. I know you can do great things. Such a smart and well spoken man.
I hope you’re okay billy, you’ll do something amazing one day no doubt!❤️
Such an articulate , smart and handsome guy . Goes to show it could be any of us . I hope he gets better one day . He seems to have a lot to offer .
Articulate???? Lmao
@@jerryj2785 you're one to be speaking lol.
@@unknownpresences5627 you think?
take a look on craigslist, I'm sure you can meet up with him
Remarkable story. It is fascinating that Billy never seemed to end up on the streets. The lesson with this story is there are classes of addicts just like in society in general. He is from a privileged background and has never really left it.
You watched this entire video and that’s the main point you got out of it? Privilege?
Addiction truly can strike anyone, I too had a good upbringing and bu some peoples opinions had every opportunity in life, however a strong self destructive streak was always present and when I combined that with heroin and crack my life went on hold for the next 22 years, been in recovery 5 years now and anything you say about recovery can sound cliched but the message to anyone in addiction is you can achieve recovery when you are ready
Keep on that straight path to full recovery! Best of luck
❤
I could listen to him all day, there's something very captivating about his way of telling his story.
Yeah i really liked the part where he talked about shooting up dope while beating the shit out of his gf to almost the point of unconsciousness. How captivating!
Billy is something else, stealing the family car at 14 and driving from New Jersey to Florida? Billy is extra special, he's craftier than he lets on. Good luck Billy!
Indeed😳😆
I agree
*This Billy guy is really an interesting character. He could definitely get back into acting if he chose to, he has that "it" factor which makes him unique. Hope he succeeds in whatever he does. Would love to see an update video from him in the near future if possible.*
Why yo letters fat
I’ve watched many of these. This one was good. Thank you, to you both!
I love hearing people's stories, especially when they are honest. I admire your honesty Billy. You will make it. You have more than most, you just gotta believe in yourself.
I don't think you realize this guy is not telling the WHOLE truth. His honesty is a cover for your sympathy. Addiction is the devil in disguise. 16 years sober.
@@WayCoolJr27 How do you know if he is or is not telling the truth? I don’t think someone sharing their story is cover for sympathy. 4-2-17
If he were lying for sympathy, in my opinion, he would have left out alot of the things that kinda make him look bad. I believe his story. Just because you are an addict doesn't automatically mean u lie.
And good job on the 16 years sober. That's awesome.
@@nicolebabb8283 He didn’t share his story for sympathy. He was speaking from his heart for sure.
Really enjoyed hearing your story Billy. We make the wrong choices sometimes but thats all in the past and matters only in so far as it affects the present
Amen 🤗💚
Well said 👏🏻
Thank you Mark for these interviews. Yes Billy you made some mistakes, we all have , but the important part is that you realize your mistakes and can now move forward having opened up and released your feelings. Good luck with your progress, you can do this!
You definitely have the voice , personality and life experience to be a pod cast superstar! You can heal by helping. 💞
his craft enables him to be a great storyteller and i didn’t have to forward it at all. never too late billy. act ur way sober
Thank you
Nothing ever ends well when someone says “I ended up meeting a stripper”.
🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾
Former stripper here... that statement is about 98% accurate 😂
ever hear of a guy Joey Diaz
@@j416_1 pics or youre lying
@@ChauncyCharm I wish I was lying. Dancing for a decade isn't anything to brag about.
Billy, as an addict/alcoholic in recovery, I understand how difficult recovery is. Stay strong ♥️
It's great to hear somebody be honest about the possible benefits of drug use. Nothing is all evil or all good. Life isn't like that, but u get shot down at best if u say that out loud
All I hear from Billy is “I could of been a contender”. He has a lot of regret to overcome.
well at least he's trying not to mention feels it not like some ppl who don't give two f's about there past, good on him n i wish him well.
Drugs take you to hell, disguised as heaven.
A hari Krishna once said to me: drugs give you wings, but they take away your sky. It has stuck with me. He was right.
100% spot on. Never heard that one before.
This was a literal tsunami hitting me out of left field. The RUclips algorithm has truly out done itself. So glad to see you still not only alive but with such strong fortitude of mind after all these years. Despite what you had to endure you never let go of your respectful demeanor. Hats off to you Matey ,🏴☠️
"Literal"
@@Juliankb39 a literal tsunami from left field. I guess they were playing baseball?
Listening to this guy talk about how Crystal saved his life and heroin worked..makes one wonder..if mental health care was easier to obtain, carried less stigma, prescription psych drugs did not come with such debilitating side effect, and those seeking mental healthcare didn't feel judge..maybe these addicts would not be a burden on society as they are..Obviously this guy suffered with some kind of mental health issues at 12 that he immediately found relief from in Alcohol..
I believe something had to be going on.
Some people start having difficulties due to a learning disability. If not dealt with can lead to problems later in life. Impulse control can really mess up a person's life.
Billy's story stirred up a bunch of memories of my own life choices and that of others around me. With all the help in the world, it's hard to get out of the rabbit hole when an individual's fallen in too deep. From a scientific standpoint, each and every person's brain is wired to react differently to substances. For some, they do nothing to hook them in, while for others it practically seals their fates. Only our personal agenda and resolve can keep us away from trouble, besides sheer luck or karma. I'm glad Billy's out of the worst and is getting better.
Great insight good sir
I was going to comment a harsh comment, myself being over 2 years abstinent. But when he said he was off of stuff for 2 years and he prepared for a relapse, man..Got a taste of distinction coming off the alcohol. The worst part about addicts like him, and maybe their most revered trait for dealers and the users who get around him, is that he can enjoy destroying himself, and can keep a straight face for that time. Truly unique, hope he can stand up against the demons of the rush, can move on with his life. I wish him the best!
Really praying for Billy, that he can find the right program, the right path for him, and a peace filled existence……
It's so sad when a 12 year old destroys everything they've worked so hard to build. I remember building a fort from cardboard boxes that we could use while playing cowboys and Indians . One day I lost and got so frustrated I destroyed the fort out of anger . I took me hours to build but only seconds to destroy 😥
Sobriety in a nut shell......
I find it fascinating that these people remember so much of their childhood when I can’t remember what I had for breakfast yesterday
Same 'ere...
Perhaps because they are core memories. There's also a difference between long term and short term memories. Especially living in a haze if a person is using and abusing substance when they get older.
I been through a lot of stress I barely remember how I use to be years ago I think since I been doing drugs a lot and stress. Lol
It’s the trauma that sears it
Man I love this guy. Billy, thank you for sharing and being genuine. You have a good heart and an interesting perspective.
Mark, you are the absolute man for continuing to do these interviews and helping people. I’m always left feeling grateful for my own life and inspired to live the best I can. Thank you.
Thank you !!!
I think his flawed view on relapse as losing all you've worked for and having to start over is really hindering his ability to keep his sobriety under control.
Spoken with true honesty, I hope everything goes well for Billy.
I feel like I've been looking/talking into the mirror for 30 minutes. Excluding being accepted into the Actors Studio in NYC of course. Always interesting, thanks!
This is one of the most intriguing interviews ever. I’m currently taking two courses about addictions and drugs on the brain and this is so inspiring knowing how addiction can really mess you up. It’s such a love/hate thing with your brain and your body. Thank you for sharing your story Billy! ✨
You could do a thesis on all this content 👨🎓SWU is a valued channel😲
focus on diet and gut biome, not the brain...... first things first.
I was mixed up in drugs for close to 10 years - what a damn waste and a lot of troubles and problems.
“Sobriety is simple and joyous and gratifying.”… so FUCKING LIVE IT THAT WAY!
His story is extremely interesting. Fascinating. I hope he’s doing well now. Dude, you know you can do it. Life is so much fun.
I like this man, "I did not want to get sober at the time". Self awareness! Really hope he will succeed and get sober. For the rest of his life.
God bless🤍
Something really doesn’t feel right about the story where he got those charges… if she was into all that stuff and did it for months, how did he end up in jail for so long?
I’ve been looking for someone to comment about that. I’m so confused. What were his charges? Why would she do that if he wasn’t guilty of something? I am just confused. Why is he a registered sex offender bc he pleaded guilty to what charges ?
@@meganmoe917 I really wanted to root for him as I do with all the subjects of these videos, but my alarm bells are going off on this one..
I relate w this guy
Similar story to me a bit. I would always self sabotage when I was starting to do good. Up and down life. I was a sloppy ass drunk. I got my depression under control with my Dr and one day woke up and said I'm done w this life. One day at a time. Grateful. God bless all and thanks for letting me share.
“Crystal meth cured my life”…now that truly shows the long term effect of years of substance abuse starting at a young age on the human brain. I pray for his sobriety. I pray he finds whatever it is he is looking for….
From one substance to another..dad thing. Lost soul
Almost any other drug is better than Alcohol... the withdrawals WILL kill you. And it's like your worst nightmare but real life look up delirium tremens.... if it weren't for meth honestly I'd still be drinking, and who knows I could've been dead cause I was _juuust_ starting to slip into full alcohol dependency....
@@9ckr716 it's because all microbiome is changing and fungus starts growing into more advances form and taking advantage on the liver. We are more microbes to than ourselves. It is fungus that makes human wants alcohol in the first place. Every person with alcohol dependency have some antibiotic story in their early life they don't even know cause not remember. You are right alcohol is the worst drug. Tobacco as well.
@@sil_ent_o Have you heard of Joe Tippens?
He treated himself(cancer) with a de-worming pill for dogs. Very cheap pill.
@@thematriarchy2075 i have not heard. But actually checking and it is interesting. All bad bugs have cancerogenic properties. Bad bugs
Hope he recovers fully! Thankful for hearing a bit of his story.
This is such a classic meth story. I understand him very much. The difference between him and I is that I realized I needed to completely surrender and he hasn't figured that out yet. He bought the lie that meth told him.
I also went to white deer run! Great facility! I wish I could’ve come across you billy! We could’ve been super helpful for each other! Much love my friends and much love to you mark!
Bro, this is insane I live in ny but I did live in New Jersey! And my ex was from winter park Florida and had a ton of family there so I was down there a few times! I feel like a lot of stuff is aligning the more I get into the video the more stuff keeps popping up!
White deer run, I’ve been there myself. I’d love to talk to Billy, I’m a Jersey guy myself with a somewhat similar story and was able to in the last 7 years clean up and build a successful life for myself.
Hi Michael, yes white deer run. Beautiful. I'm from Ocean city.
Good luck to you Billy,it is never too late to start over
Wow. What a terrible battle some people have with themselves.
Speaking as a person that has dealt with addiction my advice is to get help. 2 weeks of physical pain is better that a lifetime of pain or death. Mental health therapy is key to being successful with the cravings and the chase for the drug. It’s time. Stop with your excuses. Believe in yourself. If you can go though all the crap that you have it’s will be nothing to get sober.
I’m so grateful that I can socialize and have a drink here and there!
I Wish the Best to His Life 🙏💕
It’s amazing how we can see in sobriety how much better life can be, yet that relapse is always RIGHTHERE. That’s why we need to be grateful everyday and try to remember.
Why not just do some drugs and quit when you need to? Lol I've never understood people who call themselves "addicts" or "drug addicted" 😅. It's like someone with a "food" addiction.... hilarious. Air addictions? Water addicted? Like to take a nice crap addicted..... everything is a choice
@@juan4realz942 because it doesn't just work like that for some people. For some people when they consume drugs and alcohol it taps into something and it's very hard to turn off.... well, it never gets turned off which is why they say the monkey never leaves its always on your back.
@@9ckr716 still a personal choice though....Is it not?
@@juan4realz942 no it’s not a choice, it’s trauma based mind control. Very hard to break
@@juan4realz942 personal choice yes, however by the time you even have the chance to make that choice, something has already made it for you. For a MAJORITY of the time. Obviously there are times where you can fight it off and be successful for a really long time. But the whole purpose of things like AA is to build a support group in your life so that when the 'monkey on your back' begins to take over (and believe me it always does) you have the people to distract you and pull you out to prevent you from slipping back 'off the wagon' so to speak.
Don’t.give.up. YOU have so much to offer! Thank you for sharing your journey!
Thank you!
I hope you find your way, Billy. I hope you realise you have the strength to deal with life and loss and pain without having to numb it out. You can do it. Give yourself the chance. Seems the last time you were yourself was a long time ago. Keep on dreaming ❤️
Brought back a lot of memories. Except for me there was no time out. Life at 100 mile an hour. Don't have a clue how I made it, but I did. Clean and sober over 30 years now.
Late nite Mark?or early morning? Billy White Deer Run? I am from PA..I can relate to ur story in many ways. I hope life treats you well! I am proud of you for getting your BA! I have my associates and it's a struggle but I know you can do so well, you have already. I really enjoy your story I hope that I can see a way out like you did in ur 30s. Billy be safe.
Yes white deer run! Was beautiful. Thank you for your kind words!
@@Thoughtrip I have family that attended White Deer. I live close to Williamsport. Williamsport is close to White Deer. God bless you. 🙌
For undiagnosed ADHD, meth is life saving. Problem is poison is in the dosage.
Nah street meth is dirty. Get a prescription or use caffeine & nicotine for adhd.
Buenos Días Mark, Ready To Learn, Stay Safe & Healthy!!!
I became addicted to amphetamine and heroin in 1990. Been 5 times in long term treatment 5 times. . My 6th now. Been to acute rehab over 100 times. Was clean for 4 years with NA the first time. Relapsed. Last time I was clean 10 years with Subutex. Relapsed at the end of the pandemic due to loss of income, job and following depression. Never give up.
Thanks you again Marrk!
All the best Billy you have so much to offer.
As a parole officer in western pa, I know white deer run very well.. always interesting seeing or hearing something or someone local on here.
Love you Billy...praying for you from South Jersey ❤
Oh boy. At 12 -14 years old all I was doing was playing ball all day. How can this happen??? Way too young...
White Deer Run baby! And the mountains of Pennsylvania all right! Cove Forge! Williamsburg PA my life has been nothing love drugs and alcohol to thank you for your story Billy! Will open up another door of perception
I like the following of Miss Ivy’s perspective on it is what it is with this interview Mark. Clever indeed…..clearly this fella has thrown in the white towel. It is what it is
Looked good until the end when he smiled at 30:10 . Get yourself straight now Billy!
Imagine what he could have done had he gone ahead and researched how drugs affects our brains and found something to give his family hope at him being sober. I pray all of those addicted like I was finds a reason to get clean.
Researching for himself. Remember, he had so many pitfalls. There really hasn`t been a beginning or an end. That´s hard drugs in a nutshell, legal or illegal.
We know you can do it, do it for the animals, your mom, and ALL of the other people you can help that are in the situation you are in. Remember when you wished someone was there? You are very intelligent and were dealt these cards to help. One love from Tampa Bay Billy!
For a life on drugs this guy actually looks good like if I just seen him I wouldn't think he's an addict.
Because he’s gay, and gay culture for people his age introduced heavy drug use but also having to look good. So they would know how to party , take supplements and drink water. It’s the lack of sleep , dehydration and poor diet that makes you look like faces of meth.
I'm sorry this happened to you Mark. You don't deserve this. This makes me cry. I hope people can see through this & give you the respect you deserve Mark. God bless you!
14:05 strangely enough I have to agree. Meth saved my life as well. After 10yrs of heroin oxy coke and crack addiction within 1 day of meth use I completely forgot I was addicted to the rest! But the amazing thing was after maybe a year of meth use I was able to completely stop. Something I could never do with the opiates.. I believe I rewired my brain with the help of meth. 5yrs completely clean now.
how;s your teeth?
@@glen.simpson they’re fine now but they did hurt a lot while using and I brushed them obsessively and constantly tried to keep my mouth from being dry while using but no matter if I smoked it or put it into capsules and took it orally my teeth did hurt and I lost one in the back (which was already giving me problems before meth) No such thing as a perfect drug 😥
@@rockydubois2418 just was wondering having seen a few examples.....seems like certain folks get their already nasty diets more messed up when they get on meth.... they are like guzzling soda, not eating real foods, then the calcium starts falling from the sky in their head..... so I bet it's the lifestyle, then when you add the meth it's like a punch to the head. Glad you found the good in something potentially dangerous, although not overly surprising, seeing how people find great pleasures from stimulants like adhd drugs and coke.....
With that label it is going to be extremely hard for him to find a job. Thank you for sharing your story billy.
Everyone is walking.
But you must see the way.
Have the courage to choose your path even if no one is walking on it! 💖🙏
This is great.
I saw a true life crime show where it was stated that the interrogation of the murderer went for (I think it was) three hours.
The woman being interrogated spoke non stop the whole time.
The police later stated that they did not say a single word during the whole interrogation.
This guy can TALK
once i read that pre desposition of addiction is already "written" in our genetical code.
if this is true, it sure takes a lot of effort to beat the genetics.
great videos Mark, i'm learning a lot.
greetings from Croatia ✌🏻💜
I told my kids, “We’re a family addicts. If you go down that road, it’s a long road back. Or a long road to death.”
Actually it’s not, it’s so called “addictive personality” and some of traits which lead to addiction are:
Related to others who have developed addiction
Experiencing other mental health disorders
Adventurous and risk-taking
Disconnected and cautious
Obsessive and compulsive
Apathetic
Unable to self-regulate
Having these traits ( some of them) and bad environment is a way to go into addiction
western dogma to sell pills.... focus on diet and gut biome for a healthy mind
@@indigomoon777 diet runs in families stronger than genes
@@glen.simpson I hear you! As a ND student & Black person, I don’t totally agree with you.
Billy should write a book. So many of these people should write books.
I'm not an addict, just been around them my entire life. I used my fair share of drugs but I don't have the mentality to become addicted. I don't want to live a lie. No offense, genuinely drugs & alcohol used to be very fun for me but I realized it's phony. It's a cheap way to escape & whatever you're feeling/thinking whilst high is an illusion. It's not really you or real life. I have to be present. Not saying sobriety is fun either, I just know seeing how it's ruined others it's never worth it. Maybe when you're at the end of your life but we have to be here for ourselves and others we love. Can't check out yet. Lost my mom to alcoholism, my ex fiance is alive but nearly soulless from meth... If you're going through it I'm sorry. It turns good people inside out. There's always hope, don't give up. God bless.
Great comment. Sobriety can be boring and mundane but its so much better than the alternative.
My favourite story so far
It's a guy who isn't meant to do substances. It could be anything. I've known guys like this where going out for a night of drinks could actually change their whole life. Most people just drink, pick up the next day and move on. He gets a taste of liquor and next thing you know he's moving to Boca Raton or whatever. I sympathize. I'm like this with gambling. Everyone takes a couple hundred to the casino, spends a few hours, and comes home. I'll go down some bunny-hole, be there for three days with no sleep, I'm doing blow by day two, selling blood for money, at a pawn shop, etc. So when that becomes clear that this is the case, it occurs to me I just can't do these things. Some people can do anything and come out on the other side unchanged. Others, these vices can really take over your mind.
Do you have ADD or ADHD?
@@thematriarchy2075 I don't know. I was out of school before that got really big and was never tested. I don't know if it's that, but I do have a certain mental hyperactivity.
@@bennylevine387 Ok. ADHD is 1 of the 4 traits that put children at risk for addiction, that's why i asked.
@@thematriarchy2075 I can only speak for myself, but I don't think it was attention issues or mental hyperactivity that led me to the drugs. Maybe a little of the hyperactivity, which leads to a certain dash of adventurousness or in my case, the need to find a drug that takes the ten voices in my head and reduces it to a more manageable 2-3 voices. What it really came down to for me was a seemingly inborn need to get into monkey business, an almost innate naughtiness that was really organically-occurring within me. This is a bad topic for me because despite decades of this, I never went to treatment or really learned much about the science of addiction.
@@bennylevine387 I hope you do read up about it, it is very interesting.
Billy, I pray that you can find that support system that you need to help carry you through detox and all that goes along with that. I'm so happy that you've come full circle with your faith. Let go, let God. I knowwww...easier said than done. Remember, you've got an amazing story to tell and think of all of the people you will be able to bless once you can put this all behind you.
Amen. I found that letting go and Letting God was alot easier than I thought it would be. Found that God is the only i can stay sober
I have a friend in LA with almost this exact same story. :(
Addiction is a long term healing process. If we run from our pain and trauma it will always come to the surface.
Usually when a girl has you move in within 2 weeks of knowing them, they're not the best decision. That doesn't signal stable, intelligent woman. Rough sex usually doesn't involve going to unconsciousness, but with a longterm sober spouse you trust (not a move in after 2 weeker type of gal), not always a bad thing. After a hung jury or mistrial, not have they already invested all that money for naught, but to win after more time has passed, memories get less credible, has lower odds for them than the case they just failed to prove.
Are you an attorney?
As an (ex) consistent pot user these videos and comments really made me think about my use. Decided to cut back on weed and am taking a month(ish) break now. Really made me realize the path I was walking, not necessarily for the potency of the drug I used, but I noticed how I was drifting away from my responsibilities and passions. Stay safe guys
Not even a week after this I fell right back into my old habits and addiction. I´m trying again now. Weed (as a coping mechanism) is really addictive.
@@alexrossi5227 Weed can be super addictive. Just has to be your drug of choice and it’s all downhill after that. Luckily, the downsides of a weed addiction are extremely minor in comparison to harder drugs.. but the addiction can be the same. Crazy stuff our brains can do!
Why did the police get called if she liked rough sex, that part is missing
Your whole channel should be shown to the world smh every video I have not seen. But I just know it's nothing but raw . And it gave me a new level of respect as sad as it is I'm very disgusted with my self for this but we are all just HUMAN.... I mean it's not that I forgot but it's just crazy and sad that the simplest of thiings can leave your mind and u move about your day judging people in your own head prior . Crazy how we can be as humans .