I’ve known Tony for years - after 1 year of sobriety, he was a stud! A lot of people looked up to Tony in the program - I remember his wedding; his parents, siblings were so happy for him - It’s chilling to hear the pain and discomfort in your voice. We love you Tony, everyone from the SBRM is rooting for your success - when you’re ready, I hope you’re able to find a long term program.
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@@TheTabooRoomWithAaron let your show grow organically and humbled. It doesn't authentic when you go to a comment section and just blatantly talk about your self while the original post was something totally different. It's actually rude and un called for. I called you an idiot earlier on another post. Just stop it already and focus on your own materials in your own space
So strong of you to back out!!! Keep that same attitude, stay strong and have a relaxing birthday weekend..use the money you would’ve used on the drugs to take yourself out to eat or go buy you something new💕
I'm proud of you! That "one time" could be your last because it could kill you and if that one didn't, the one that would eventually would come! It isn't any better out there now man! If anything, it's WORSE! Good on you for deciding against relapsing! You made it 5 years! Don't throw that all away and risk your life!
To Tony. Not sure if you'll read this. We do the best we can with the knowledge we have at the time. It is bad luck to find substance to alleviate our pain. No one would choose this life. I see a light in you, and a goodness. Be kind to yourself. Thank you for your honesty.
Thats very nice written. Im hurt by my best friend bc he wount agree that addiction is illnes. Bc then is a choise and like you said it who on Earth would do this to him or herselfe. If ppl would understand just that, would help with stigma a lot. Abt a friend, he still helps a lot of ppl in trouble bc of his personal expirience with drugs, what I realy admire. There are still good ppl out there. So thank you, your words will touch a lot of those who need them ☀️🍀🧡
I had the same experience as this guy with fentanyl, I would only use 1 large amount every other day and not get sick. But because of that I was not able to use subtext or suboxone. That made it very hard to get away away from the opioids. I am very grateful to say that I am in complete Obioid remission and consider myself to be an ex-addict. My battle lasted 17 years with 2 ex-wifes many dead friends and a family that was emotionally damaged. Recovery is possible, this dude is telling my story, he's even the same age. I have so much empathy for him and I swear I would give him half my time if I could.
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The hate in these comments are unreal, thinking addicts are somehow not human.... You are all one car accident/ etc away from being just like this man!!! Be humble
People that haven't had that monkey on their back don't understand how it literally changes your brain and thought process, it really is like being taken over by a different entity.
@@wyattroberts3559 nope. That's a cop out for people that never really experienced addiction. People that suffer from the disease known as addiction forgo their values and dignity, they lose themselves, lose the ability to say no to that addiction. He doesn't wanna steal or boost. He has no choice cuz the addiction is pulling the strings. His brain has been rewired.
Like I said everyone is addicted to something! I've been on fentanyl 3 years, other opiates 15 years.....I still go to work every fucking day and pay my bills on time.. moderation is key!!
I really liked his interview. Very honest about what his addiction has done to him, that takes a lot of self-reflection. His dad really did a number on him, and that’s just heartbreaking. You can tell he just wants to be loved. I hope he overcomes his addiction, he deserves a good life.
My dad never liked me either. He was much loved as a community leader in our small community. Couldn't stand me. I ended up feeling alienated from whole community. Addict for decades. 30 or 40 years of binge drinking and or heroin. 52 now. On my last cycle of suboxone. One mg a day. Have a son of my own. I hope I am doing better as a dad.
With fentanyl, the physical withdrawal is often the biggest hurdle. There are tons of people out there that want out desperately but don't know how. Things can truly feel hopeless when you're trapped on that level.
@@TrillMurray absolutely, but that's why we have great medications like suboxone and methadone to help and they have excellent success rates. Ppl like to talk a lot but the facts are if you use these medications properly as prescribed and do the actual true work of recovery like therapy, developing new healthy coping skills, changing people places and things ppl will have just as a successful true recovery as being in recovery opiate free. Addicts are afraid of recovery because it's a lot of changes and a lot of work, they'll convince themselves of excuses and reasons to avoid the work of recovery. The addict brain LOVES playing up fear to the max. But if more addicts were taught properly and didn't have shame about medication assisted treatment, it solves the fear of withdrawal problem instantly. Theres nothing to fear cuz it wont happen! Especially with methadone cuz u dont have to worry about having to wait at all to start it. They truly save so many lives.
@@js3617 unless you have been through fentanyl dopesickness yourself, you can not understand how terrifying it can be. I have PTSD flashbacks occasionally from it. Suboxone can only be administered after you've been through days of the worst of it and can be even harder to quit. I get that it works for some, but I wouldn't touch it
This was a great share!! Thanks to homeboy for sharing!! As a recovering addict with over 5yrs in these types of vids always keeps it green for me . . . If and when i need to hear it hasn't gotten any better out there. . . That's all I need to hear is someone's story.
And that's a beautiful thing, I'm so happy for you...it also helps me to listen as well, these videos are one of the best AA/NA meetings you can attend! Stay strong out there, and know that you have support right here in the comment threads rooting you on! 💯💙💎🔥
Hey, we loved soft white underbelly's concept and are trying to capture the homeless and addiction problems/stories in a professional manner in London, England. Check us out!
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This man can get clean for good. He reminds me of so many of my former 'friends'. He mostly means well and knows the good life is good and sobriety is good, you can hear it in his voice. But they can't control their urges, emotions, and let the wind take them through life, to their detriment.
@@Veheloth don't pretend to tell me a single thing about my choices of who I associate with you moron. 'Friends' in apostrophes is meant to denote they weren't friends at all you complete idiot.
Wow this man has been thru so much. My heart hurts for the pain i hear in his voice. Seems like such a nice man .I hope he gets the help he needs and stay with a program so he can truly enjoy life
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Tony's dad really did a number on him. It seems as if things were set in motion by his father's inability to connect with him. He just wanted to be loved and accepted by his father.
his siblings didn't end up like him and they had the same father. it's all his choices that led him to this point, not his father choices... only thing responsible for his situation he got from his father are the genes leading to this behaviour. but his father inherited them too. so ... stop pointing fingers
@@gst9325--- The greatest advantage you'll ever get in life is being born to stable, loving parents who raise you to adulthood. So show compassion to those who weren't. Because it wasn't a result of your foresight or their lack of it.
@@gordon3186 I agree, and yet, there is millions of cases like this coming from loving stable families. again, it all goes down to your personal choices.
@@gst9325 --- *People get caught up in addiction and soon find they've crossed the line only AFTER they find themselves on the other side of it. Some never find their way back.* *Do alcoholics make a "personal choice" to become an alcoholic after drinking their first beer? Their 10th? Their 100th? No one EVER chooses to be an addict.* *On the flip side, that people occasionally defy the odds doesn't mean those odds don't exist. Being born drug addicted, to a drug addicted prostitute, who carried her pregnancy to term because she had no access to a safe and legal abortion, stacks the odds against you so greatly that you're certainly doomed to failure. Maybe not in this particular instance but in many others.*
"Back in the 80s when they thought being gay was a disease, and that it could be prayed away". Just like we've been treating addicts for the last century. If your rehab / treatment is following a 12 step model (which the vast majority of them are), it's the exact same thing.
Tony, I feel like with the right resources and support, you can succeed at sobriety....please don't give up, keep fighting for it....because on the other side of it, you Will find a different kind of peace and happiness 😊 that you're searching for now., esp with the pain of losing your wife.....you can do this, and do it well!! Rooting for you, beautiful soul ❤
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One of the worst thing about opiates is that you will reach a point where u want to get sober and not use but the withdrawal keeps u using, it's so painful most can't face it so they stay using, they end up stuck.
Best of luck dude. Next time your going through rehab, and after you get out stay single. Focus on your sobriety and no dating, its one of the main things that will make you relapse. Stay strong your whole life is ahead of you. Did deep!
Honest and interesting interview with Tony. He doesn't glorify any part of his life. This should be shown to kids who are looking for an escape from what they see as boring dead end lives.
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I wish people wouldn’t have children if they don’t want to be parents. Get fixed or use birth control. My heart breaks for this man and so many others who felt unloved and unwanted. The downward spiral. Some make good choices and others don’t but the damage to the psyches. I hope he will beat his demons and makes better choices. Selling drugs ruins lives, communities….let’s fortify our borders and implement other steps, so the flow of drugs is lessened.
@toxic avenger If people were responsible there wouldn't be any sizable need for abortion.. it absurdly reckless and careless to be so much of a degenerate that you resort to abortion. Obviously pregnancy resulting from abuse is rare and likewise the occurrence of birth control failing is considerably low.. the mass majority of abortions result from low quality people choosing to make atrociously poor decisions
Tony, best of luck to you my friend. You’re light has not diminished and I see hope and recovery in you. You can do this. Can only imagine how extremely difficult it is feeling sick while getting sober and I’m so sorry you almost lost your friend and you had to experience that traumatic event. Love to you, you can do this. xx
He needs a big hug and somones shoulder!!! what a shame i hope he finds a better path before its too late. drugs are evil and make people do horrible unforgivable things but there is still a heart and a decent human crying out on the inside.
This guy strikes me. I had worked in addiction for numerous years. I noticed that if the offending caregiver/parent/offender, admits fully that they hurt the addicted person, and are willing to work in the recovery in an open and honest way, it can help so much in recovery. Also, do not have a partner, relationship, marriage until you are recovered. Many believe that a relationship will get them through, but usually it makes everything much worse.
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I have female who has stalked me for 20 years that lives in Chico, CA and is from Baltimore. Meth and booze bad. She is delusional from my family lineage. She is typical and not fitting for Cali. It is back east drug use and way more violent.
He said something very true Most people have a lot of acquaintances but very few friends My dad told me that as a child The older I get the more I see his wisdom
I grew up with a lot of messed up kids whose parents (one or both) were psychologists. They came out mentally worse than us with "regular" parents. I have heard that psychologists unknowingly pursue their craft primarily to fix themselves...and ultimately fail.
Wow this guy has gone through so much. I wish him peace and love. I hope he gets better. He seems like a honest decent person. Addiction is a b- itc- h.
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Bright soul in there, Tony - god bless those 3.5 years of sobriety, some version of that will find you again soon. Find your light and stick with it. You are loved.
@@Big1nz yea thats all pretty accurate, however it will be very difficult and painful to ween/detox off eventually as well. Its a much lesser evil, but when the withdrawals set in you get back that crazy panicked dopesickness just the same as any junkie. Edit: ive been on subs for two years and weened down but am having a very hard time kicking it altogether.
@@brandnewsam94 I wish the withdrawal expect of addiction was more widely known. I learned about it all through these videos and a little additional research. It made me so much more sympathetic to recovering addicts
@@Big1nz ... YES !! I'm so happy to see suboxone as an option but he just said it doesn't help fentanyl ... I can truly attest to it helping my 30+ yr hydro habit
Damn.. these drugs. I haven't tried fentanyl but I had been in love with heroin for 35 yrs. I went thru fases. Times when I didn't want to quit, and times when I wanted to quit but couldn't. You try rehabs but nothing seemed to work. I was disciplined enough to always maintain long term jobs. But to the people who say ohh it's a choice I'd say:do you really think that a person as soon as he gets up wants to stick a needle in his arm and continue it every 8 hrs for fun? Having to struggle to come up with the money multiple times a day, not been able to do nor go anywhere knowing in the back of your mind the countdown has started until you'll get extremely sick? No birthdays, no funerals, no holidays, no weddings, no days out, no cinema, no concert, no nothing unless you'll get well first? Do this people really believe that's a choice?...
"Am I waiting for the next bag that's gonna kill me?" It breaks my heart.. I've been there. It was years ago... and you're right, Tony, it's better to be clean. Might be boring, tho honestly.. boring is more fun than the lonlies of addiction. Just sayin'. *hugs*
Very true, sometimes the boredom can fuel that itch to get high. I always just sit in the house and sometimes I'm like, "wow this is lame as hell, i need some excitement" but in reality this IS truly pure excitement. A warm bed, cozy blanket, fridge full of food and my family next to me on the couch is like heaven compared to any of those "best" days in the streets.
@@wesleyAlan9179 lol. I know.. I'm not that sensitive. I get tired of defending when people don't have a clue what they're saying. Thx for your comment. 🤩
I snorted Fent powder on a couple different occasions years ago. That shit burned my nose and made me feel really good and next thing I know my ass is waking up in the middle of the night because I done passed out and didn’t even know it. I use to do stupid shit but I havnt had any opiates whatsoever in years and don’t want any either.
Sad times, I lost 2 friends, many more that just aren't the same anymore, I was introduced to heroine before the fentanyl came into the picture I was just 16 when I smoked an oxy for the first time and then found that heroine was cheaper. Drugs were a part of my life from a very young age because it's all I seen around me. It was super hard to get away and I still have issues. But I have 3 kids and a wonderful wife and things get easier everyday. I hope to get into a job field where I can use my experience to help troubled youth to show people do change and recovery is possible. Keep your heads up people. Mad love my brothers and sisters!
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He sounds so lost. I hope he gets clean sounds like he really wants to. Tony you sound like a wonderful loving person. My brother was on drugs for over 20 years. We thought we would loose him. But he's now 10 years clean and a drug counselor.. Don't give up !!
Suboxone will work for Fentanyl but you have to wait 2 to 3 days after your last dose of fentanyl otherwise you will have precipitated withdrawal. I was addicted to fentanyl for 10 years...way before it was mainstream.
These stories help me out in more ways then one, I see that overcoming the struggle is a part of millions of people lives I’m not the only one fighting a battle! Stay strong and believe have faith that you can and will beat any battle made to destroy you
@@LoloO42 “Suggestions” are only for those who aren’t serious about sobriety.👍🏽 When you’re SERIOUS about it, you allow yourself to give up control to something bigger than oneself.
@@JamesDel Ask anyone in long term sobriety….not wanting to be told what to do is pure EGO. Long term sobriety requires a person to relinquish egotistical-stubborn power or control. To “get over” oneself is paramount. Being humble (humility) and saying “hey, maybe I DON’T know everything, I might as well try listening to someone who’s made it” takes a LOT of courage and strength.
My heart ❤️ goes out to him, Prayers for his healing from childhood trauma with Dad and recovery from fentanyl. Tony you can make it, you did it before, you can do it again.
Unfortunately that's the kind of tone you get with a long term use of opiates... That and a distinct vocal fry that some addicts keep for years after getting clean, it's actually really sad when you finally get clean but every time you talk you're reminded of your past
@@thestraydog oh really? Hmmm after a lifetime of drugs and knowing people far worse than myself I've never encountered this. I'd have to say he got high before the interview. Maybe a little ice because he looked tweeked out and had the nervous rasp along with lots and lots of talking . . . Hell Mark didn't even have to ask many questions. So I'll disagree with your answer to the question
I think that is the resonating voice of an anxious, nervous individual being interviewed about sensitive topics from his childhood until now. All the while, in the back of his mind, he is subconsciously aware that this will be put on the internet for millions to view if they want. Far more likely than his voice being slightly altered secondary to drug use. But hey, only he knows.
I'm surprised he's saying heroin is a shorter half-life than fentanyl. Cause for many people, it's the exact opposite. I guess it just depends on what's in the fentanyl mix.
I bet his dad's story would be deep too. Conversion therapy is unimaginably damaging, on a multi-generational level in Tony's case, it's incredibly sad, I hope he can come to terms with it and get clean again permanently.
I Pray Tony is doing better. Seems like a guy just down on his luck. But seems to want to get better & wants to overcome his addiction. Im truly praying for you Tony. Hopefully we can get an update on you one day. God bless you.
Dialog: oh man, I'm sick. I think i might have the flu. Response is dead air. No response. No one says "your dope sick". You go home , get better from the withdrawals thinking its the flu, and no one goes back to the drugs. Genius. Thank you Mark❤
This is the time that gets me that I don't know why because seeing their demons are just terrifying and they're always grinning it's terrifying I didn't have my grandmother I would be insane.
I would say to you, sir, don’t believe everything your mind is telling you. Stop harming your brain& reassess your reality - to what you want it to be. Be a mindful athlete. ✌️
This is a sad story Mark. I wish this man would get the chance again to start over. I am sure there is a woman who would love this man if he got clean and sober. His Mom would support him in his sobriety. I will keep Tony in my prayers. I hope he makes it out of the hell he has been living in. He is worth it.
I like to take the time with commercials and just tell mark how amazing of a person u are and that u deserve all the riches la has to offer!!! Lol. U deserve it more than anyone
I rarely watch full RUclips videos especially 30+ minutes ones but man, I wish nothing but the best for this guy, all it took was 1 fuck up to ruin those 3 1/2 years he was doing so well in. Hope he can one day find peace.
I always research these interviews. Can't think of one interview where they had a stable positive healthy upbringing. Its kinda clear, early input from parenting is so important.
This poses the question, is a bad father better than no father? I recently found out that I have a female cousin ( a child fathered by my father's brother) that was given up for adoption. She is two years younger than me. We look like sisters. She is college educated also. She always wanted a relationship with her father. He refused because his wife believes it is unacceptable. She was born many years prior to my uncles marriage and children with her. This has caused a rift between my uncle and myself.
I’ve known Tony for years - after 1 year of sobriety, he was a stud! A lot of people looked up to Tony in the program - I remember his wedding; his parents, siblings were so happy for him - It’s chilling to hear the pain and discomfort in your voice. We love you Tony, everyone from the SBRM is rooting for your success - when you’re ready, I hope you’re able to find a long term program.
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@@TheTabooRoomWithAaron off brand SWU
meetings, sponsorship, steps, and don't use no matter what. pretty simple. he can get back into recovery, all he has to do is make that decision.
@@TheTabooRoomWithAaron let your show grow organically and humbled. It doesn't authentic when you go to a comment section and just blatantly talk about your self while the original post was something totally different. It's actually rude and un called for. I called you an idiot earlier on another post. Just stop it already and focus on your own materials in your own space
@@TheTabooRoomWithAaron This spamming all the comments thing isn't a good look......
Been Sober for 5 years my birthday is coming up this weekend I canceled my order to pick up. Thank You. I needed this one Mark Thx Tony.
Hallelujah 🙏🏽
💚💚💚💚 stay strong!
So strong of you to back out!!! Keep that same attitude, stay strong and have a relaxing birthday weekend..use the money you would’ve used on the drugs to take yourself out to eat or go buy you something new💕
I'm proud of you! That "one time" could be your last because it could kill you and if that one didn't, the one that would eventually would come! It isn't any better out there now man! If anything, it's WORSE! Good on you for deciding against relapsing! You made it 5 years! Don't throw that all away and risk your life!
One birthday at a time…I get it! Good job, you’re worth it. Happy sober birthday! ❤️
22 days clean from fent I’m 23 who ever is ready to stop just go for it suboxen starts to help a couple days in
Congratulations! Don’t look back. Make something of your young life.
Congratulations! Please stay on suboxone if you need to and are able to. Hope you find a good support group, recovery program! Sending you my best.
Good luck john💪stay strong
Subutex saved my life. I know it’s trading one for another but from where I was to where I am now most likely wouldn’t of happened.
Congratulations!!!
To Tony. Not sure if you'll read this. We do the best we can with the knowledge we have at the time. It is bad luck to find substance to alleviate our pain. No one would choose this life. I see a light in you, and a goodness. Be kind to yourself. Thank you for your honesty.
Thats very nice written. Im hurt by my best friend bc he wount agree that addiction is illnes. Bc then is a choise and like you said it who on Earth would do this to him or herselfe. If ppl would understand just that, would help with stigma a lot. Abt a friend, he still helps a lot of ppl in trouble bc of his personal expirience with drugs, what I realy admire. There are still good ppl out there. So thank you, your words will touch a lot of those who need them ☀️🍀🧡
Lol " you see the light " 🤣 probably the glare from the phone.
@@ebz- If you think me.. I turn MY light on... 😉
I had the same experience as this guy with fentanyl, I would only use 1 large amount every other day and not get sick. But because of that I was not able to use subtext or suboxone. That made it very hard to get away away from the opioids. I am very grateful to say that I am in complete Obioid remission and consider myself to be an ex-addict. My battle lasted 17 years with 2 ex-wifes many dead friends and a family that was emotionally damaged. Recovery is possible, this dude is telling my story, he's even the same age. I have so much empathy for him and I swear I would give him half my time if I could.
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Thank you for sharing your story.. makes me feel better knowing I’m not alone in this. Love and respect.
If u could... like u don't know where to find OTHER USERS ... Go to AA n give that time.
Yup agreed. Stay on good Path thnx for share
Boomer. Would like to hear your story of recovery. Any way to reach you ?
The hate in these comments are unreal, thinking addicts are somehow not human.... You are all one car accident/ etc away from being just like this man!!! Be humble
People that haven't had that monkey on their back don't understand how it literally changes your brain and thought process, it really is like being taken over by a different entity.
the irony is that addiction makes you lose your humanity
@@scienz everyone is addicted to something, be it sex, drugs, food, talking shit on the internet, etc EVERYONE
@@wyattroberts3559 nope. That's a cop out for people that never really experienced addiction. People that suffer from the disease known as addiction forgo their values and dignity, they lose themselves, lose the ability to say no to that addiction. He doesn't wanna steal or boost. He has no choice cuz the addiction is pulling the strings. His brain has been rewired.
Like I said everyone is addicted to something! I've been on fentanyl 3 years, other opiates 15 years.....I still go to work every fucking day and pay my bills on time.. moderation is key!!
I really liked his interview. Very honest about what his addiction has done to him, that takes a lot of self-reflection. His dad really did a number on him, and that’s just heartbreaking. You can tell he just wants to be loved. I hope he overcomes his addiction, he deserves a good life.
My dad never liked me either. He was much loved as a community leader in our small community. Couldn't stand me. I ended up feeling alienated from whole community. Addict for decades. 30 or 40 years of binge drinking and or heroin. 52 now. On my last cycle of suboxone. One mg a day. Have a son of my own. I hope I am doing better as a dad.
With fentanyl, the physical withdrawal is often the biggest hurdle. There are tons of people out there that want out desperately but don't know how. Things can truly feel hopeless when you're trapped on that level.
Agree 💯
@@TrillMurray absolutely, but that's why we have great medications like suboxone and methadone to help and they have excellent success rates. Ppl like to talk a lot but the facts are if you use these medications properly as prescribed and do the actual true work of recovery like therapy, developing new healthy coping skills, changing people places and things ppl will have just as a successful true recovery as being in recovery opiate free.
Addicts are afraid of recovery because it's a lot of changes and a lot of work, they'll convince themselves of excuses and reasons to avoid the work of recovery. The addict brain LOVES playing up fear to the max. But if more addicts were taught properly and didn't have shame about medication assisted treatment, it solves the fear of withdrawal problem instantly. Theres nothing to fear cuz it wont happen! Especially with methadone cuz u dont have to worry about having to wait at all to start it. They truly save so many lives.
@@js3617 unless you have been through fentanyl dopesickness yourself, you can not understand how terrifying it can be. I have PTSD flashbacks occasionally from it. Suboxone can only be administered after you've been through days of the worst of it and can be even harder to quit. I get that it works for some, but I wouldn't touch it
This was a great share!! Thanks to homeboy for sharing!! As a recovering addict with over 5yrs in these types of vids always keeps it green for me . . . If and when i need to hear it hasn't gotten any better out there. . . That's all I need to hear is someone's story.
And that's a beautiful thing, I'm so happy for you...it also helps me to listen as well, these videos are one of the best AA/NA meetings you can attend! Stay strong out there, and know that you have support right here in the comment threads rooting you on! 💯💙💎🔥
I love to hear you're staying sober. It's a tough gig, but worth the hard work. Much love!
Dude lemme tell u it ain't got better. It's so much worse than u can even imagine. Proud of u. Keep on keeping on.
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He is so gentle he deserves so much more, everybody does.
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You can absolutely see the hurt in his eyes and you can hear it in his voice. So sad. I feel for him.
I hope Tony can find his way to recovery. He deserves so much more in life.
What a well-spoken person. Take care of yourself.
This man can get clean for good. He reminds me of so many of my former 'friends'. He mostly means well and knows the good life is good and sobriety is good, you can hear it in his voice. But they can't control their urges, emotions, and let the wind take them through life, to their detriment.
Demons
Former "friends?" If you left them to wallow in their addiction you were the bad friend there.
@@1Elicitg demons? I hope you dont mean that literally. If so please run away from whatever cult youre in right now!!!!
@@Veheloth don't pretend to tell me a single thing about my choices of who I associate with you moron. 'Friends' in apostrophes is meant to denote they weren't friends at all you complete idiot.
@@Veheloth go away
"Peace feels like boredom to those raised in chaos."
Took me a long damn time to figure that out. May you find your peace Sir.
Wow this man has been thru so much. My heart hurts for the pain i hear in his voice. Seems like such a nice man .I hope he gets the help he needs and stay with a program so he can truly enjoy life
23:39
This man is gonna make it, mark my word!
no, he's not
ya=eah dont wanna be negative but i dont think hes gonna make it
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Was yo ig
I'll tell him you said that and it will absolutely bring some light to his day.
Tony's dad really did a number on him. It seems as if things were set in motion by his father's inability to connect with him. He just wanted to be loved and accepted by his father.
his siblings didn't end up like him and they had the same father. it's all his choices that led him to this point, not his father choices... only thing responsible for his situation he got from his father are the genes leading to this behaviour. but his father inherited them too. so ... stop pointing fingers
Hearing the hurt in his voice is so heart breaking.
@@gst9325--- The greatest advantage you'll ever get in life is being born to stable, loving parents who raise you to adulthood. So show compassion to those who weren't. Because it wasn't a result of your foresight or their lack of it.
@@gordon3186 I agree, and yet, there is millions of cases like this coming from loving stable families. again, it all goes down to your personal choices.
@@gst9325 --- *People get caught up in addiction and soon find they've crossed the line only AFTER they find themselves on the other side of it. Some never find their way back.*
*Do alcoholics make a "personal choice" to become an alcoholic after drinking their first beer? Their 10th? Their 100th? No one EVER chooses to be an addict.*
*On the flip side, that people occasionally defy the odds doesn't mean those odds don't exist. Being born drug addicted, to a drug addicted prostitute, who carried her pregnancy to term because she had no access to a safe and legal abortion, stacks the odds against you so greatly that you're certainly doomed to failure. Maybe not in this particular instance but in many others.*
"Back in the 80s when they thought being gay was a disease, and that it could be prayed away". Just like we've been treating addicts for the last century. If your rehab / treatment is following a 12 step model (which the vast majority of them are), it's the exact same thing.
👏🏻👏🏻 YES SAY IT LOUDER PLEASE. "Its not about God. Just putting your faith in a higher power" w
@@katiexcakes Remind me. How many of those steps mention GOD?
I hope you beat it all and learn to be by yourself, get clean and find peace.
Good luck man, I am personally fighting sickness everyday with what I am willing to give up. I wish there was a cure all for this problem.
Sending great vibes & love to you Jessie. I hope this reaches you and those you love in great health and happiness❤️🙏😎
Stay strong, Jessie! You got this.
Protect your sobriety like you would a newborn baby! It's that precious!
Much love to you & yours!
Try to get ur hands on Ibogane. Its illegal in the US. It gets u through withdrawals n kills cravings after a 8 hour trip. (Look it up)
🙏🙏🙏🙏. Hope u get peace soon ✌️
Me too jessie! It's awful but we can both make it! Don't give up before your miracle happens!
Tony, I feel like with the right resources and support, you can succeed at sobriety....please don't give up, keep fighting for it....because on the other side of it, you Will find a different kind of peace and happiness 😊 that you're searching for now., esp with the pain of losing your wife.....you can do this, and do it well!! Rooting for you, beautiful soul ❤
Hey, we loved soft white underbelly's concept and are trying to capture the homeless and addiction problems/stories in a professional manner in London, England. Check us out!
One of the worst thing about opiates is that you will reach a point where u want to get sober and not use but the withdrawal keeps u using, it's so painful most can't face it so they stay using, they end up stuck.
Best of luck dude. Next time your going through rehab, and after you get out stay single. Focus on your sobriety and no dating, its one of the main things that will make you relapse. Stay strong your whole life is ahead of you. Did deep!
Honest and interesting interview with Tony. He doesn't glorify any part of his life. This should be shown to kids who are looking for an escape from what they see as boring dead end lives.
Hey, we loved soft white underbelly's concept and are trying to capture the homeless and addiction problems/stories in a professional manner in London, England. Check us out!
I wish people wouldn’t have children if they don’t want to be parents. Get fixed or use birth control. My heart breaks for this man and so many others who felt unloved and unwanted. The downward spiral. Some make good choices and others don’t but the damage to the psyches. I hope he will beat his demons and makes better choices. Selling drugs ruins lives, communities….let’s fortify our borders and implement other steps, so the flow of drugs is lessened.
Fortifying borders is not a solution to the opioid epidemic.
@toxic avenger
If people were responsible there wouldn't be any sizable need for abortion.. it absurdly reckless and careless to be so much of a degenerate that you resort to abortion. Obviously pregnancy resulting from abuse is rare and likewise the occurrence of birth control failing is considerably low.. the mass majority of abortions result from low quality people choosing to make atrociously poor decisions
@toxic avenger free birth control
If the U.S. wanted to end the drugs coming in they could. Billions spent every year on the Drug War that started 40 years ago. How's that workin out?
@@TheTabooRoomWithAaron aren’t you just a martyr
Tony, best of luck to you my friend. You’re light has not diminished and I see hope and recovery in you. You can do this. Can only imagine how extremely difficult it is feeling sick while getting sober and I’m so sorry you almost lost your friend and you had to experience that traumatic event. Love to you, you can do this. xx
Tony seems like such a genuine person, I really hope he can find a way out of that life and prosper in the ways that he deserves.
He needs a big hug and somones shoulder!!! what a shame i hope he finds a better path before its too late. drugs are evil and make people do horrible unforgivable things but there is still a heart and a decent human crying out on the inside.
Great interview. Thank you for sharing your story Tony. Recovery does happen when you're ready.
This is so sad. He seems like such a nice guy. I hope he remembers what his life was like sober, and decides to get sober.
This guy strikes me. I had worked in addiction for numerous years. I noticed that if the offending caregiver/parent/offender, admits fully that they hurt the addicted person, and are willing to work in the recovery in an open and honest way, it can help so much in recovery. Also, do not have a partner, relationship, marriage until you are recovered. Many believe that a relationship will get them through, but usually it makes everything much worse.
Hey, we loved soft white underbelly's concept and are trying to capture the homeless and addiction problems/stories in a professional manner in London, England. Check us out!
"That weekend has lasted for 6 years, now." Damn.
Mark! Please come to Maryland and interview in DC or Baltimore. There are plenty of stories and personalities out here that deserve to be heard!
I have female who has stalked me for 20 years that lives in Chico, CA and is from Baltimore. Meth and booze bad. She is delusional from my family lineage. She is typical and not fitting for Cali. It is back east drug use and way more violent.
Agreeddddd
He said something very true Most people have a lot of acquaintances but very few friends My dad told me that as a child The older I get the more I see his wisdom
I grew up with a lot of messed up kids whose parents (one or both) were psychologists. They came out mentally worse than us with "regular" parents. I have heard that psychologists unknowingly pursue their craft primarily to fix themselves...and ultimately fail.
He has such a sweet soul, he seems like a genuinely sweet person. I truly hope he recovers ❤
“That weekend has lasted for 6 years now” is some pretty haunting words
Wow this guy has gone through so much. I wish him peace and love. I hope he gets better. He seems like a honest decent person. Addiction is a b- itc- h.
Hey, we loved soft white underbelly's concept and are trying to capture the homeless and addiction problems/stories in a professional manner in London, England. Check us out!
Man, this one hit so hard. Thank you, Tony. I hope you get well. Thank you Mark.
Hey, we loved soft white underbelly's concept and are trying to capture the homeless and addiction problems/stories in a professional manner in London, England. Check us out!
These post are so consistent with my sleep schedule it’s crazy
Right, it's always just been uploaded when I wake up
Mark has been posting videos at 6am EST every single day for almost 2 years now probably. His work ethic and consistency is impressive
I have not done opiates in 8 years and to this day i still have post opiate depression. i get random sudden flash backs that are almost unbearable...
Bright soul in there, Tony - god bless those 3.5 years of sobriety, some version of that will find you again soon. Find your light and stick with it. You are loved.
Wow. He’s so intelligent and extremely self-reflective. I wish the best for you Tony 💗
I think i should be interviewed for getting addicted to mark's videos 🙃
5 months clean off 10 plus years of opiate addiction. suboxone helped me immensely.
Is it true that it's works better than methadone and leaves less cravings?
@@Big1nz yea thats all pretty accurate, however it will be very difficult and painful to ween/detox off eventually as well. Its a much lesser evil, but when the withdrawals set in you get back that crazy panicked dopesickness just the same as any junkie.
Edit: ive been on subs for two years and weened down but am having a very hard time kicking it altogether.
@@brandnewsam94 I wish the withdrawal expect of addiction was more widely known. I learned about it all through these videos and a little additional research. It made me so much more sympathetic to recovering addicts
@@Big1nz ... YES !! I'm so happy to see suboxone as an option but he just said it doesn't help fentanyl ... I can truly attest to it helping my 30+ yr hydro habit
Congrats! Well done👍👏👍
Damn.. these drugs. I haven't tried fentanyl but I had been in love with heroin for 35 yrs. I went thru fases. Times when I didn't want to quit, and times when I wanted to quit but couldn't. You try rehabs but nothing seemed to work. I was disciplined enough to always maintain long term jobs. But to the people who say ohh it's a choice I'd say:do you really think that a person as soon as he gets up wants to stick a needle in his arm and continue it every 8 hrs for fun? Having to struggle to come up with the money multiple times a day, not been able to do nor go anywhere knowing in the back of your mind the countdown has started until you'll get extremely sick? No birthdays, no funerals, no holidays, no weddings, no days out, no cinema, no concert, no nothing unless you'll get well first? Do this people really believe that's a choice?...
Exactly 💯. 👏 👏 👏
Very touching, so sad about his father. Generational trauma is real.
Thank you Mark! Please take care of yourself
"Am I waiting for the next bag that's gonna kill me?" It breaks my heart.. I've been there. It was years ago... and you're right, Tony, it's better to be clean. Might be boring, tho honestly.. boring is more fun than the lonlies of addiction. Just sayin'. *hugs*
"Boring is more fun than the lonlies of addition"
Absolutely 💯
Very true, sometimes the boredom can fuel that itch to get high. I always just sit in the house and sometimes I'm like, "wow this is lame as hell, i need some excitement" but in reality this IS truly pure excitement. A warm bed, cozy blanket, fridge full of food and my family next to me on the couch is like heaven compared to any of those "best" days in the streets.
@*The Modstrobator* i recycle the living water to cure turminal illness. I am *NOT* the golden shower anything.
@@4eyes2sea
Hey,don't listen to these morons...they don't know you. You do you, and don't worry yourself with these assholes😁
@@wesleyAlan9179 lol. I know.. I'm not that sensitive. I get tired of defending when people don't have a clue what they're saying. Thx for your comment. 🤩
I hope this guy gets peace ✌️
My best friend who is a recovering heroin addict used dabs when he was dope sick . He said it was a game changer for him.
I snorted Fent powder on a couple different occasions years ago. That shit burned my nose and made me feel really good and next thing I know my ass is waking up in the middle of the night because I done passed out and didn’t even know it. I use to do stupid shit but I havnt had any opiates whatsoever in years and don’t want any either.
Sad times, I lost 2 friends, many more that just aren't the same anymore, I was introduced to heroine before the fentanyl came into the picture I was just 16 when I smoked an oxy for the first time and then found that heroine was cheaper. Drugs were a part of my life from a very young age because it's all I seen around me. It was super hard to get away and I still have issues. But I have 3 kids and a wonderful wife and things get easier everyday. I hope to get into a job field where I can use my experience to help troubled youth to show people do change and recovery is possible. Keep your heads up people. Mad love my brothers and sisters!
Hey, we loved soft white underbelly's concept and are trying to capture the homeless and addiction problems/stories in a professional manner in London, England. Check us out!
He sounds so lost. I hope he gets clean sounds like he really wants to. Tony you sound like a wonderful loving person. My brother was on drugs for over 20 years. We thought we would loose him. But he's now 10 years clean and a drug counselor.. Don't give up !!
Suboxone will work for Fentanyl but you have to wait 2 to 3 days after your last dose of fentanyl otherwise you will have precipitated withdrawal. I was addicted to fentanyl for 10 years...way before it was mainstream.
These stories help me out in more ways then one, I see that overcoming the struggle is a part of millions of people lives I’m not the only one fighting a battle! Stay strong and believe have faith that you can and will beat any battle made to destroy you
Stop getting into relationships when you’re TRYING to get sober! 🤦🏻♀️ That’s one of THE MOST important rules of sobriety.
I thought there weren't rules. Only "suggestions".
Easier said than done when your head is not mush and you're not emotionally stunted. Also telling people what to do is 100% not the way.
@@LoloO42 “Suggestions” are only for those who aren’t serious about sobriety.👍🏽 When you’re SERIOUS about it, you allow yourself to give up control to something bigger than oneself.
@@JamesDel Ask anyone in long term sobriety….not wanting to be told what to do is pure EGO. Long term sobriety requires a person to relinquish egotistical-stubborn power or control. To “get over” oneself is paramount. Being humble (humility) and saying “hey, maybe I DON’T know everything, I might as well try listening to someone who’s made it” takes a LOT of courage and strength.
A lost soul. Many here can relate, I’m sure.
Interesting question about having dreams as a kid. I’ve never thought about that as a way to stay on the path.
My heart ❤️ goes out to him, Prayers for his healing from childhood trauma with Dad and recovery from fentanyl. Tony you can make it, you did it before, you can do it again.
When he said he’d been clean for 3 and a half years…. As an addict it scares the shit out of me…
And I’m 30 and have the same feeling as thank god I didn’t have kids rn
Stay humble. It can come back when you least expect it. Everyone and everything is susceptible to this awful way of thought.
He has an interesting sound to his voice, almost sounds like it’s kinda of shaking but I would be too tbh
Unfortunately that's the kind of tone you get with a long term use of opiates... That and a distinct vocal fry that some addicts keep for years after getting clean, it's actually really sad when you finally get clean but every time you talk you're reminded of your past
@@thestraydog oh really? Hmmm after a lifetime of drugs and knowing people far worse than myself I've never encountered this. I'd have to say he got high before the interview. Maybe a little ice because he looked tweeked out and had the nervous rasp along with lots and lots of talking . . . Hell Mark didn't even have to ask many questions. So I'll disagree with your answer to the question
@@thestraydog yes...nearly all the addicts in Dublin ( Ireland) have a similar drawl, speech...kinda nasal voice.
Like Bob Dylan, Simon Joyner, Leonard Cohen, Lou reed, and Conor oberst
I think that is the resonating voice of an anxious, nervous individual being interviewed about sensitive topics from his childhood until now. All the while, in the back of his mind, he is subconsciously aware that this will be put on the internet for millions to view if they want.
Far more likely than his voice being slightly altered secondary to drug use. But hey, only he knows.
I'm surprised he's saying heroin is a shorter half-life than fentanyl. Cause for many people, it's the exact opposite. I guess it just depends on what's in the fentanyl mix.
Good luck bro.... truly hope you get clean. Such an articulate and intelligent dude, proves this can truly happen to any unfortunate soul...
The best of luck to you, Tony! 🙂
"That weekend has lasted 6 years now ..." That is terrifying.
I bet his dad's story would be deep too. Conversion therapy is unimaginably damaging, on a multi-generational level in Tony's case, it's incredibly sad, I hope he can come to terms with it and get clean again permanently.
Anyone home invades in my house they'll be un-lived. It's a roll of the dice on the consequences of that decision. He's lucky to be alive.
Tony you born to be great u will beat this 🏆 im rooting for you. Good bless u
”Wheredya from, originally?” is getting so iconic at this point
I Pray Tony is doing better. Seems like a guy just down on his luck. But seems to want to get better & wants to overcome his addiction. Im truly praying for you Tony.
Hopefully we can get an update on you one day. God bless you.
Notice how he cant make any eye contact. But wow he likes telling a story. Interesting
Thank you for sharing Mark. Love Ruby
Lost my only brother this morning to this use 💔
Thank you for sharing your story.
*How much pain could be avoided for women and children if our culture didn't stigmatize same-sex affectional preference?*
💯
I'm rooting for you, Tony. You got this!
💯💯💯 Tony did it once for 3 1/2 yrs.He can do it Again . Sending
Prayers dude.
X
Very good interview. Thank you mark.
Dialog: oh man, I'm sick. I think i might have the flu.
Response is dead air. No response. No one says "your dope sick".
You go home , get better from the withdrawals thinking its the flu, and no one goes back to the drugs.
Genius. Thank you Mark❤
Just needs someone to listen... 🙏
We shouldn’t have prisons, think about how many innocent people are incarcerated for just one little slip up, it’s just not fair
He has no idea to take on the dry that is so weird the time you waste is the time you lose because tomorrow is not promised
Oh my heart ❤ 💔 I'm so sorry Tony. Work on your trauma love yourself.
This is the time that gets me that I don't know why because seeing their demons are just terrifying and they're always grinning it's terrifying I didn't have my grandmother I would be insane.
Even on your worst day, someone always has it worse than you.
Wish you the very best!
It's not a disease, it's a curse. Poor boy had to grow up with this mess, just awful.
"1 is too many 1000 is never enough"
Ohhhh my god my heart goes out to him .
I hope he finds his way back ❤
Dark Cherry concentrate in 6ozs of water is great for gout
You can get it at Kroger’s
I hate seeing so many people on here with such potential and intelligence… sad 😔 we’re all rooting for you 😊
My dad too grew up mormen...but he did have guts and was true self me at 13 almost 14.....
I would say to you, sir, don’t believe everything your mind is telling you. Stop harming your brain& reassess your reality - to what you want it to be. Be a mindful athlete. ✌️
This is a sad story Mark. I wish this man would get the chance again to start over. I am sure there is a woman who would love this man if he got clean and sober. His Mom would support him in his sobriety. I will keep Tony in my prayers. I hope he makes it out of the hell he has been living in. He is worth it.
I like to take the time with commercials and just tell mark how amazing of a person u are and that u deserve all the riches la has to offer!!! Lol. U deserve it more than anyone
I rarely watch full RUclips videos especially 30+ minutes ones but man, I wish nothing but the best for this guy, all it took was 1 fuck up to ruin those 3 1/2 years he was doing so well in. Hope he can one day find peace.
I always research these interviews. Can't think of one interview where they had a stable positive healthy upbringing. Its kinda clear, early input from parenting is so important.
Right it doesn't help that our culture doesn't support family values and proper parenting anymore.
“That one weekend has lasted 6 years now.” Shitttt!!!!
This poses the question, is a bad father better than no father? I recently found out that I have a female cousin ( a child fathered by my father's brother) that was given up for adoption. She is two years younger than me. We look like sisters. She is college educated also. She always wanted a relationship with her father. He refused because his wife believes it is unacceptable. She was born many years prior to my uncles marriage and children with her. This has caused a rift between my uncle and myself.