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- Опубликовано: 21 окт 2024
- Me too movement in India, my personal experiences, bollywood drama with Tanushree Dutta, Nana Patekar, Sajid Khan, Jacqueline Fernandes, what can we do to stop the sexual predators etc..
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#metoo #bollywood #tanushreedutta
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Thank you for watching my love!
it is so strange that I made a video two weeks ago....on what I went through in the industry after the movement momentum picked on...but I didn't have the courage yet to upload... to tell my story..my horrifying experience with a well known man in the film industry...something...i have been too embarrassed to disclose.... it still hurts and I support all the women who gave their story...full power to them...and seeing you talk with courage might inspire me to do the same...someday... much love...
Shweta Vijay Shweta you know that you have our support. I just read an idiotic comment here saying whaaa how can you say that all actresses in Malayalam industry goes through this. People need to hear the story from people like you. But ofcourse, in your own time. When you’re 100% comfortable with it. Love you Shweta!
Jovita George love you too
I am sorry to hear you have been holding it in. Take your time. And when you are ready, we will be there to support you.
Hey.. Much strength to u dear.. We are all with u. Take ur time.. But I think this is the 'RIGHT TIME'!! We are all Laxmi Bai man!! Women are extremely powerful.. We just don't realize this. I have had my share of sexual harassment too and have kept it buried in my heart for years.. But this is the time to speak up! And I have started that process.. I am reaching out to all my family n friends.. We need to begin a free flowing dialogue.. We are all with u girl!! Much love n strength to u :))
What shweta.!!!!Come on girl.. u know their r so many who love you. Even though I have never met u I feel ur more like family then a stranger. Take your time, but it's better you get it out some day so that no one else suffers with that man like you did. All the love to you sweetheart.😍😍😍😘😘😘
Victim shaming is like a trend, especially in India. That's the sad truth. And v wonder y tanushree dutta or chinmayi didn't speak up decades back. Like seriously!!!! 😢 It's so frustrating when the victims r not given the benefit of doubt.
She did..but she was so harrassed she has to leave the country. Check her that incident time interview
It's a problem everywhere Dear! I'm from Jamaica and while some ppl will believe its wrong most ppl will blame you and say you looking attention blah blah esp if it happened a long time ago. Not just my country, but the whole world.
Soundarya Govindarajan it happens everywhere dear. And Tanushree did complain when it originally happened. No one would listen to her. She was shamed. Mamta kulkarni in 90s complained about Raj Kumar Santoshi, she was shunned also. Sharmila Tagore in 60s about Shammi Kapoor she was also told to keep quite.
The worst thing is girls like me who still live under their parents roof are scared to tell their parents whom they trust the most. why?
its simple, i live in India and if i open up about this probably it will affect my freedom. Probably i wont be allowed to go out with my male friends any more. Probably they will be scared everytime i have stay out late at night.
People may say its immature of me to think like this, but i know how difficult was it for me to fight for my freedom, and i really dont wanna lose it.
Aparna Prasad 😞😞😞😞
Sad but true
Aparna Prasad sad truth. It’s difficult to handle family under such circumstances. The result z curbing our freedom.
I agree with u.. same case wid me.. once got locked up for one week by mom!
*I volunteer for an NGO and I get to go to schools and teach the kids about inappropriate touching. We teach them with teddy bears and a series cartoon illustrations. Changing the world, one step at a time.*
I believe Tanushree and it's a shame that she was treated the way she was treated. No man/woman/girl/boy/animals deserve abuse. Live and let live
K
The most saddening fact is that my own father talking cheaply of the #Metoo movement and I couldn't tell him that I was abused too twice in my life! People around me talking that this is just attention seeking and she wants to make money out of it angers me. My relative came and gave it a political angle to this whole movement which is happening in the Kannada cinema industry!!
sangitha shankar atleast I’m happy that our generation has a different outlook to the whole thing.
sangitha shankar atleast I’m happy that our generation has a different outlook to the whole thing.
It is extremely challenging to talk to people who are so closed to the struggles and challenges of women. As far as the kannada movie industry is concerned, no industry is free from all these malpractices. IDK how the yesteryear actresses survived back then!
sangitha shankar I know how you feel. I remember when princess Diana was killed and we were all watching the news and my dad said that "she was a whore anyways". I was so offended. I told him off, I remember telling at him. I asked him how it was ok for prince Charles to cheat on her and when she left him she's a white??? Some times we need to standup to our parents.
@@shalwinderkaur8276 so right. no one should say such things and if parents need education at their age then it should be given even if its coming from us. I do it all the time be it about the lgbtq or this time. you don't have to tell your personal stories but what u believe in and whats right.
Every gal has been molested. Every single word you have mentioned about relatives molesting n stuff was like me speaking up finally. I was shut n threatened for not mentioning.. I still get goosebumps thinking about it.
Shabeena Banu more power to you girl ❤️
I hope you and every other person who have gone through this finally get justice.
Every gal in the fuckin’ world has been molested? You’re an idiot. Such a huge lie. And that’s incredibly insulting to me because I actually have been molested as a child. It isn’t funny and I don’t appreciate you making bull crap “facts” about it. It is a horrible thing and you’re a fucked up idiot making up stories
you go girl, you hit the nail on the head! We still live in a day and time where the victims are further abused and the rapist walks freely. Disgusting! All i all, so glad that people have started to open up and fight back, time's up for the gropers and predators. Thanks for this video!
Great to see that women are speaking up. And thanks for addressing sexual abuse of children by family members. This topic is so taboo that many Indian folks still refuse to discuss it openly and as a result, many children continue to be abused.
Raise your children to have complete faith in you. Tell them that they should tell mommy and daddy if anyone touches them inappropriately. That mommy and daddy will love them no matter what. If anything happens to the child, it is not the child's fault. It is so important to take your child into confidence and assure them that they're safe. Have frank conversations with your children. I wish my parents did. I wish I could have told my parents that my uncle was abusive. But I did not. Because I knew my father would have somehow concluded that it was my fault.
its unfortunate how our first instinct is to sweep our shocking experience under the rug and try to forget about it. i wouldnt have remembered/realised what happened to me was wrong and against my will unless i stared watching all the interviews of victims explaining their moments. its a sad sad time and i hope this fire that has started now doesnt die down and return to the same old world, i hope we will see some strict actions and see some change.
I'd love that to materialize soon, man!!
Right in the face 👊 Self defense techniques should be taught to both the genders by schools. At least it should be made a compulsory subject.
Unny Rashmi how would that help? Is a social n psychological issue. It's ur relative that even when u fight will not be accepted by ur family, n society that will burn u. This is definitely good for adult stranger situation. But kids are ill still be vulnerable. U can't fight mob either. Also when u teach both genders that it neutralizes the power again.
Ya Jovi what you have said is true. Every single girl under the sun has went through such a bad thing. This happens in all field but I cloud not understand when a girl speaks about this why do they keep on targeting her rather than questioning the concerned male n asking the girl a proof for it is totally hilarious. I have 2year old son n going to become a mother of two kid soon n thinking over these issues n praying God to give me knowledge to protect my children.
I want to share my #metoo story with you in short. Well, I was in 4th standard and after school I was heading towards my school bus and I was walking alone and then suddenly I felt a stranger man touching my chest at first I couldn't understand what happened but as I tried to figure it out it immediately happened again and I ran into my school bus and I was in complete shock! I couldn't react I didn't know what to do. I still get chills when I think about that particular incident. Since then I kind of became shy and someone who's scared of men. But gladly I'm out of that stage now and a grown up individual.
Glad that u r now strong enough to share this..
And its really disheartening that we all have such incidents in our lives!
@@aakhyasharma9949 yes it is! And all I learned is nothing's gonna change untill we stand up for ourselves. As a child also we should speak to our parents about what happened and being parents they should also let the child be free so that they don't hesitate while their situation. I'm glad I have such wonderful parents who took step that time immediately and helped me so much to make me come out of that bad feeling.
Rini Routh don’t be afraid to speak up dear. Say something and talk to someone.
@@shalwinderkaur8276 I'm out of that now thanks for your concern
I'm so sorry that has happened to you and I hope that you and everyone else who has gotten sexually harassed/assaulted, molested, raped and etc; get justice. This stuff is awful!
I think as women, we have to take a bolder stand in supporting our fellow women, regardless of their social standing or status. It seems that every time a seemingly "decent" guy is accused of inappropriate behavior against a woman who isn't nearly as prominent or successful or famous, there are other women who come out to defend the guy saying things like "I've known this guy for x number of years and he has never been inappropriate with me" blah blah blah, as if that should deem him innocent. Ladies, just coz a guy has never behaved badly with you, it doesn't mean he hasn't ever done so. Especially in the film and media industries, these guys go after young, impressionable girls who are just starting out or who are in no position to speak out against their much more famous and powerful attackers. Look at Farah Khan's response to the Tanushree-Nana Patekar episode or girls like Jacqueline Fernandes with people like Sajid Khan. And just recently again, Khushboo defending Arjun Sarja against Shruti Hariharan's allegations. A lot of these women preach about equality and feminism but rarely practise it when it comes to actually taking a stand. Women are slut-shamed and their character assassinated for daring to speak out and then people ask why they didn't do so earlier. By all means, verify the accusations but let's not attack the victims. Totally agree with everything you said, Jovita
Sarasota28 👏👏👏thanks for this love
I totally agree with you that people need to believe the accusers, and find it so frustrating that people think their own experiences with the accused mean they can't have hurt anyone. I also think that it needs to be applied to people's social circles, when one person within the circle is abused by another within the circle. It ends up being the person who was abused who has to miss social events because the abuser might be there, and steps aren't always taken by friends to help keep the abused person safe.
I was 16 n I was at a park where guys who were around 12-14 passed lewd comments.. N I created a scene.. But none amongst the elders took any action bcoz I had worn shorts n dats was my mistake 😓.. Came home to tell my parents n my dad said .. Wars the point of going there n shouting at those guys .. They r from slums "unke muhh mat lago"... I haven't forgiven him for that yet ..kids see their parents as their role models..n I felt heartbroken.. Thanks for making this a platform for people to share their stories💙.. Hope more people accepted the reality n take steps to change it
I am so sorry this happened to you. I do realize how parents don't take these matters seriously and somehow tell girls that they shouldn't speak up against it, which normalizes sexual assault and catcalling so much. I applaud your strength to stand up against it but I know how it would've shattered your heart when your own parents didn't take a stand for you.
Bhavna Ganiga sorry to hear what happened to you. I had been their when I was younger. I worked in retail store and we had a manager who always made disgusting comments. Finally some one complained about him to our store manager because he had crossed limits with them. My store manager found out that he had also used verbal sexual abuse towards me. He wanted to meet me. My best friend who is also Indian told me not to say anything but decided to talk to my mom and my mom told me to go to my store manager and talk to him. She told me I didn’t do anything wrong, so I had nothing to be ashamed of. That’s why I love my mom for always being their and I teach my daughter the same thing.
I'm so sorry that happened to you, this isn't right and you and everyone else who has gotten sexually harassed/assaulted, molested, raped and etc; need justice. This stuff is awful!
It also happened wid me.. and all thanx to god i was wid my cousin bro and my elder sister that time and some guys passed absurd comments on us thinking we are couple. And we all know how a brother react. After that my father only said "good work". But my mom locked down us for one week straight. 😣
There is actually two sides to this. u speak up and probably the harassment increases or u don't and it goes away. your father took the easy way out. its a psychological thing. he is still wrong though. but i am saying what he was thinking...don't tell parents tell a guy friend or brotheR who can actually beat the shit out of them and make it intimidating enough for no future problema
Beautifully summed up. Parents children communication is so important. I'm from pakistan
It's common here too and talking with parents about it is just another difficult stage to cross. I never did. I still can't. But now that I have a daughter, I would break myself rather her if anything happens to her.
I think this is most vital. Parents should always communicate with their children and kids must feel free to talk to their parents about anything. Today the child molester is targeting broken families and timid children who do not talk. Let us make a difference.
@@chandranvelipadan6862 it's not even the broken families. Since ages this topic have been a taboo and still is. We have to undo this. We have to be the protectors of the younger generation. Silence also kills them.
Its not about broken familes..it happens even within familiea..people who u trust..and its nothing you can do..when u know no one is going to believe you..its affected me so much so that am wary of my daughters even when they r with closest relatives..
There is a lot of hypocricy in our society. Traditional mindsets want women to accept things and bow down in shame!! Nonsense!! We should condition growin children to think about opp gender in a respectful fashion. Education, knowledge, information should be inculcated about these things as they grow up.
thank you so much for talking about this. i’m so sorry for what happened to you and every person you know. you’re so right about having to lift the shame and openly talk about this. i had the talk with my son when he was 3 and could understand and i’ve had it every year since and i’ll continue having it. thanks again Jovita. you’re amazing ❤️
Sharifa Easmin thank you so much for the kindness Sharifa. And I’m so happy to see what an amazing mom you are!! Your son is so blessed to have you 💕
I went to a very famous temple during navratri...there was a huge crowd...i got groped by a man...
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I SLAPPED HIM IN FRONT OF EVERYONE..
gud thing: i feel good now!
Bad thing: nobody even asked me if i was okay or ANYTHING ELSE!
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P.S, i really dont share these things but ur video made me do it❤
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GIRLS PLEASE STAND FOR YOURSELF, "NOBODY" ELSE WILL!!!
Aakhya Sharma am sorry this happen to you !! I support you !! U did the right thing feel good as u hit him !!
I have done this three times in my years visiting India while my parents took my and I had no shame.
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U r so right! Suffered the same thing back in the school days, told my mother, she told me just to avoid the person.
Not good, not good at all!!!!😤
Debjani Paul im here for you dear
@@MrJovitageorge ❤❤
I’m so glad you spoke about this, you making this video shows that you are brave!!
Growing up fortunately i never experienced any such things and i thank god and my mom for it immensely. I remember she was like a hawk around my sister and i. Our father was abroad and she was in fear to raise two girls. But she put on a brave face and taught us as well. She taught us how to speak up if any such thing happens. I never realized the emotion or sickening or frightening aftermath of any such things because it was all hunky dory for us . Now that i am a mother of a girl, I understand the price my mom paid to keep us safe. She must have always been under immense pressure. I say to my daughter what my mom taught me. Girls have to have a million eyes around her. Always be cautious of everyone around us. Speak up . Its not your fault its their fault. Its unfortunate that we have to live like this hopefully atleast for next generation things become easy and there will be a society which is not full of Bs. My heart goes for all women who have to go through such horrible experiences.
you are my new favorite youtuber! your content is really genuine, keep doing what you are doing
Frankly speaking most of the parents in India especially mothers feel ashamed to discuss about periods with their daughter. I feel at least from now, this generation everything must change for good. Parents should be accepting the beauty of their children as they are instead of changing them.
Frankly speaking I think each and every girl have been through this molestation. As you have said "Communication" is the key and people have to aware of all of this.
I wonder if well educated people are behaving like this(molesting, abusing etc), what can we expect from other people?
I really appreciate that you being open and discussing about this topic.
Lots and lots of love to you
Agreed. Why would somebody not believe Tanushree? - makes no sense to me. Men just want to sweep molestation under the carpet. I was molested too, in a water park with a man touching my private parts between my thighs. I was a child and didn't realise what was happening but now thinking about the incident makes me so angry. I don't even know my molester.. If I knew him, I would do what Tanushree Dutta did.
Hi Jovi. I just wanted to say. Can we also teach our kids , the future generation to not abuse or molest or touch someone in inappropriate places right from childhood along with raising awareness about they should not ne touched? Just an opinion. I always felt action should be initiated from ones end. Abusing, molesting, rapes have happened and are happening but to prevent it from happening is equally important as creating awareness about discussing it and opening up.
charan m ABSOLUTELY 👏👏
Yes, gotta teach our children what consent is. Men grow up in "beta raja" culture where such behaviour is considered a part of "boys will be boys" rhetoric.
charan m absolutely dear. I teach my 8 year old son every day that no means no. And you don’t touch no one man or a woman without their consent. It all stars at home.
So true. V r just discussing to raise voice against abuse but it is also our equal responsibility to teach our kids not to abuse others so dat d future generation il always keep dat in mind nd see dis as bad thing
I was touched inappropriately...never spoke about it to anybody..but can't forget it either...it's a pain...it was an army . Person ...and .my friend told me about her experience .. close family friend touched her ... inappropriately..we can't talk about this and share ...it demands so much strength ....hats off to all those ladies coming out and speaking about this thing ..
Girls are always taught to “be a lady, sit properly, dress modestly” etc. But much more importantly boys MUST be taught to be respectful of girls, don’t say rude/inappropriate things, don’t touch a girl without her permission, etc.That also is soooo important! I will make sure to teach my son to be respectful to girls.
Mrjovita This was an awesome message and brave too. I wish everyone who has a large power like you will be brave and stand up for all the women who are voicing their opinion. Pleas continue to influence the generation of today and in good ways. This is a strong way to move forward and to change the youth. Victim shaming is the worst thing that we Indians and generally anyone can do. Rape, Molesting and other indecent acts is shame on the person doing the act and not the victim. When we can change our minds to think like that we can be stronger and more united to be against this disgusting acts.
Together we can and we will make a difference.
Jai Hind!
Here in United States we go annual physical for kids and doctors tell them what is an inappropriate touch. India should have something like that. We do have good friendly conversation with our son all the time so that if he needs to say something he will not have to think twice.
Jagroop Kaur still in US metoo happened I hope our kids won't face this monster. Grooming is dangerous kids give in because they trust the abuser
Divya Sasidharan of course it happened here. All I wanted to say was that I have not seen any person living in India (that I know of) talking to their kids about ‘inappropriate touch’. They actually avoid all talks when it comes to sex. So, I wanted to say since Indian people, because of society are not comfortable enough to talk to their kids, doctors should. So that they know what is happening to them. It has happened to kids too young to realize that it should not happen. Of course this country is not free from these things but I believe they are heading in right direction by “pioneering” in right direction.
I have gone to annual physicals in the US for 20 years and never had that conversation with my doctor
Victory Dan-Dukor here in California ever since my son started understanding what we are trying to tell him his pediatrician talks to him every year about this subject. She will tell him where it’s not ok for someone to touch him and how he should not be made uncomfortable and then ask him to tell where it’s not ok to touch.
If you are taking a child to doctor may be you should he/she is not explaining this to the child. Children always listen to their doctor that’s why I think it’s good idea for doctors to tell that to them.
Jagroop Kaur u pack ur bags nows
I appreciate your honesty dear...Proud of you.
I feel the more this topic is a taboo, the more difficult it is for people to open up with their experiences..the more we talk about it and listen to others the more open minded people will get and It will stop being a point for judgement and character assassination of the victim and people will actually start taking action against the perpetrator.. love you jovi.. you are the best 😘😘
Thank you, Jovita! You are so right, these conversations MUST start at a young age. And parents must set an example.
#jovita it was an excellent and most importantly needed video and secondly yes parents should talk with their children at the young age and there should be someone who they can open up and talk freely and relationship of understanding and friendlyness is needed in between parents and children then only a chance of change can be hoped....
U r absolutely right Jovi! It's appalling how some people are responding to tanushree's situation. Most ridiculous being Rakhi Sawant obviously. I recently sat down my 4 yr old niece (my sister's daughter) and taught her about the good touch/bad touch. My sister was also present there . We made sure she understood that she must come up to either me or my sister if there is anything to talk about and not just brush it aside.
I remember being kissed and hugged inappropriately by a newly married neighbour when I was 6, groped multiple times when I was 12 by strangers, family friends, school teachers till I realized that I was being abused. When I learnt about stuff happening to my sibling, I broke out and then finally talked about my sibling's encounter to the higher authority. Then My mom passed away. Countless encounters I had, even after an awareness. I was touched by my external guide of my project, who was also a family-friend, when I was in college and God, I was a bright student. (Eventually, I stopped approaching for help). After this incident, I was tried up on by my dad in a subtle way, but somehow I had the courage to resist, then I left for a new place and became independent and arrogant and never got into such situations. My arrogance was my defence against people and now I have become stronger and non-vulnerable. I think, children under 14, mentally less strong people are targeted by these predators in family. Thankfully, It was just a phase for me.
Hi Jovita I have been binge watching your channel for the last 3 days and I was wondering when you will be talking about this and here you are ...well I have been having this discussion with my husband... he believes that this #me too movement has become more like a gender war rather than the focus being on the sexual harassment. Also I am happy that at least you mentioned that it is not women against men but can be other way round or just same gender molestation and I empathise more with those men because they can’t even say it even now.....real pity.... why can’t we be open about the fact that it is both ways .....I don’t know if what I am trying to say is getting across but I just wanna say I agree with you that men have an even tougher time coming out with such things......
We should have more people who talk about these important things openly then only it'll make a difference one day. You did your part just great and we all gotta do ours.
As a girl from Europe coming to live in India next year, I'm glad India is starting the me too movement and starting to make India a safer place for women. I'd love to help and see India grow and change. The movie industry sleeping with influential people to move up to fame thing makes me really sad and it's one of the reasons I'm deciding to not go down a media route but to study economics instead. Honestly the amount of abuse going on in India amongst both men and women is shocking and I hope within my lifetime I will see that change with education and people like you, talking about things like this. Education is key.
Jovita grt that u took up this topic. Even i was harassed by my relative but i did tell my mother and she gave a good class to him and from that day he was not even had the guts to have an eye contact with me or with my mother.👍
Thank you for using your voice to speak about sexual abuse/molestation - it's never a comfortable conversation to start but I think you did this subject justice, especially about how victims should not feel ashamed to talk about their experience. The way you spoke also felt like a real conversation instead of a PSA and left me with a sense of hope. Thank you
I think you are absolutely right about parents being more supportive. Its also important that we are given a chance to speak, if not at home then at school in the form of counselling etc... the goverment and the people with power need to make awereness of this problem as well in a way.
Which lipshade u r wearing....
Parents of this generation has a lot more to do to care and safeguard their children; only solution is communication communication communication...
What your friend is doing is the right thing. And thanks for speaking up on this platform Jo! 💖
In 2013 I moved to another country to persue studies (I am still here). It was so intense for me, I had never left home, never been to another country before, never been away from my parents before etc. I met a young local couple here, and they and their parents took me under their wing. The couple frequently invited me to their house, and we had lots of fun, touring the country etc. The husband and I became good friends. After some months, he started coming on to me, and I tried to brush it off because I didn't want to think bad of him because he was a friend, and I didn't want to offend the family and 'sir the pot'. Finally after some time, while drunk, he out right tried to molest me when we were alone.
It was so hurtful, I tried to tell someone about it, but they told me "you are not stupid, you were not a small child you were 20 years old, you should have known better, why did you befriend a married man, why did you meet him alone" etc etc. I wish that that person had believed me, because it would have given me the courage to tell more people and maybe even tell his wife/family. Now, so many years later, I hear that they are getting a divorce because he got caught in an affair and became physically abusive. A part of me feels like I could have done something to prevent that.
Thank you for talking about this.. this makes me so so sad. So so SOO many of us has been in this position because of the toxic personalities of some people in the world. I’ve never told any adult about my abuse but I live with it every day, and I’m glad that your addressing the problem of bottling it up
Thank you for this video. I feel the exact same way. Having gone through expenses myself my heart goes out to all who endured same. And like you said this must be stopped so our sisters, daughters , friends and all precious children and innocent people are not subject to this. Love you Jovita! 💕❤️
It's sajid khan.. I agree it happened to me when I was 5.
Just started watching your videos a few days ago and I found your content to be so lovely, relevant, funny and sensible... What you are saying is totally true... Every girl has gone through this shit and one of the ways to change this situation is to be strong enough fight and give it back to the people doing this... People talk about society being so and so and forget that they too are the part of the same society so they are society... Nobody else cares if you don't... High time people get some sense to face these unknown people they fear of...
Jovitaaa I LOVE YOU FOR UR WORK😍😍😍
I feel we need to introduce/re-introduce educating our kids about 'good' and 'bad' touch at an early age of nursery if not earlier.. by the time, something unfortunate happens we'd be either too shocked or unsure to share our experiemce to an elder. It flips my stomach, each time I hear another sharing of such incidents at a young age.. thank you for sharing Jovita! Really unfortunate when it happens in the family and nothing is done about it.
Just seeing this video when going through your older videos. Thank you for doing this.
True. "Awareness is the key " sad to know we are in this day & time & still dealing w every type of sexual abuse, molestation especially for women in any industry. It is totally bad in every aspect. Thanks for mentioning it & bringing attention to this & yes, awareness is the key
Which lip shade Ur using?? It's a lovely shade..looks good on you..
U have summarised life of almost every women/ girl of India....
Very glad that this #Metoo movement is gaining momentum....but still there are lots and lots of stories that r buried underneath.... hope a day will come when everybody could come up with their stories......(including me).....🤞
Thank you Jovita. I'm so sick of the "Don't tell anyone" attitude of Indians. THIS ATTITUDE is the a shameful thing! Not the victim talking about it. People really don't get the #metoo movement. Like you, me and most of my female friends have experienced some sort of sexual harassment. But it all comes out much later when nothing can be done. So then the thoughts of others are, "Why bring it up now?" explaining that takes so much patience because really... you just want to punch them in the face. Anyway, thank you for talking about this. It was nice to hear a fellow Malayalee woman understanding our point of view. Sending you lots of love and I'm sorry you also had bad experiences
wounds heals but scars remain. Salute to those who spoke out.
This is such a beautiful video Jovi!it just goes on to show,how you dont want to influence just in the beauty aspect,but also want to be an influencer in a more broader aspect!Was so happy you planned on doing this..and even happier to read the comments of how strong women are,that inspite of facing the worst of situations,not knowing what’s happening and not having anyone to talk to about it..they still managed to come out strong and be the best versions of themselves!
Cheers to you and all the women here and around,who are fighting their demons and plan on continuing to do so,love all♥️
I have never been molested, and personally don't know anyone who has, but my heart breaks for everyone that has gone through such horrible experiences. Thank you so much for using your platform to speak about this subject and to encourage others. You are an inspiration! May God bless you ❤️
Bravo...Jovita!!!! U speak our hearts ❤
Thank you for this video maam... this video really encouraged me and 'll definately talk to my mom about my Maths teacher😔😔😔
Anshi Tiwari surely do it dear...no such person should be spared. Bring his face out!
@@honeysiddique56 yes i'll 😊
I am so proud that somebody in the beauty industry is talking about it.
thank you for sharing. this topic in the indian community feels really overwhelming for me :(
I am so glad you uploaded this video Jovita! I am a firm believer of “to be the change be the change”. If we stop victim shaming, I think that itself will go a long way. What I find truly flabbergasting is that quite often when a survivor is brave enough to come out with their story, all the energy goes into why did he/she got molested, i.e. , what provoked the attacker/abuser? Really? That’s what people need to know? How about accepting that this person is a psychopath????????? Let me explain. Let’s take the most common scenario- private buses in Cochin. Imagine you are a 14 yr old trying to get home before it gets dark after school/tuitions. Crowded bus- and before you know it there is this faceless ***#@ brushing against you/ groping you. You have 2 options: confront, or move away/get down in the next bus stop. I can tell you how the first option will go. There will be an open debate in the bus which will go something like this:
Upholder of the so-called culture: kutty, ayal ariyathe bus break ittappo thottupoyathaavum. Nalla veettile kuttikal ingane ochavech baakki ullavarde journey delayed aakkathilla . Nalla kuttikal ee samayam ottayk travel cheyyathilla.
Pseudo psychologist: kutty ingane muttu vare olla uniform okke itt bus’l kerunnath athra sheri aanonney? Kuttynte nanmayk vendi parayuva. Pinne kutti enthina avde poi nilkaan poyath?
Advisor: kutty adutha stop’l irangikko. Allel doore maari ninno.
The budhijeevi/face and body analyst: aa kutty’ne kandaale ariyaam. Aal athra sheriyalla ennu.
The silent me-too kind: *gives you a look that says “I am sorry kid, I have been there too”. (These people limit their support through nervous smiles. Or sometimes just silence and a knowing look).
The common human: ain’t my problem. Ain’t my sambar, so njan enthinu thilaykanam?
Having said this, if you are lucky enough you would meet a few incredibly kind ones who would support you to raise your voice and even ask the bus to be taken to the nearest police station!
Admittedly my travel experience in Cochin is slightly outdated, and I hope and believe things are better now!
P.S. the situation described is based on real life experiences, so any resemblance to people you know ain’t my fault!
Its so sad but i think almost every girl no matter who she is,where she is from,what cast or religion or region it is has experienced something similar.... And its sadder that people are not comfortable talking abt it which encourages those stupid bastards to continue what they did... It is so common that sometimes people like 'ahhh it happen.. Just let it go....' But no.. Y let it go.. U have to speak up.. U have to stop that guy from doing the same thing to another girl.. It is so sad that now a days a year old girls are also not save and are molested by some heartless creatures.... I am so glad u came up with this video.. I am sure a lot of people will get the motivation to open up.. And if any child is watching this and is going through something similar... Plz open up to ur parents.. Dont think abt what people will think abt u because its u who has to live ur life and no one else is really gonma help u until u decide to help urself
Thankyou for this my sweetheart! It is so true!! Xx
what u said is very relatable in my case too..
I too was abused and molested as a child and that really curbed me from opening up, going out into the crowd, traveling alone, getting along with strangers. And eventually it led me to depression
Thank you Jovi for opening up about this subject! I was also in the same boat as you... could never talk about these things with my mom. I think older generation thinks of these issues as harmless and boys being boys attitude. Like we girls have to just get over it and move on... it makes me soo pissed off!The incident that really had a bad effect on me happened when I was 13 and visiting Guruvayoor temple. I got separated from my family bc it was so crowded. This guy came up behind me and started touching my breasts. My body just froze and couldn’t believe this was happening at a place of worship. I couldn’t move and couldn’t even run away bc i was stuck in the middle of the crowd. Then he started moving his hands down my body and that unfroze me and then I started scratching his hands and struggled to get free. Thankfully the crowd started moving forward and I was able to get away. I found my family thereafter but never told anyone about it. It took me a long time to be ok to go visit the temple again and be ok to be in a crowd. As you said pretty much all my girlfriends in india have so many incidents like this. Thank you again Jovi for giving us girls a platform to talk about these incidents 🙏🏼❤️
People who use the excuse "boys will be boys" misunderstand the term itself. Sexual abuse is not "boys being boys". Roughhousing with each other to the point of a few scrapes? That is "boys being boys." I can never understand the justification of such incidents.
Glad you spoke up. People should know how endemic this problem is. So prevalent that it has desensitized the intensity of the crime. People have just made their minds that this is what normally happens- women should find ways to protect themselves. We all have been through this and it's time for us to put the shame and responsibilities of action where it belongs.
Of course one thing we can do as women is to support the movement and do not let misconception sabotage it's purpose.
My eyes ache from eyeroll when people say that women are doing it for publicity. Never have I ever seen a woman who wants to be famous for being raped/molested by a famous person. Seriously. And I bet after a month nobody will remember who these women were although the accused might still be a popular celebrity.
And those who say "give me proof before alleging him" - well, first of all- it's not job of women to bring proof. Yes. Police is supposed to look for evidence and not the plaintiff. That's true for all criminal cases. And second- it takes guts to stand up against powerful man and go through this victim shaming and years long Court cases. There's nothing to gain in false allegations. So yes, most stories are true, there sure is a chance of wrong accusation but let's leave it for court to decide.
Awesome video..point by point! Honestly ..you will be an awesome mom in future!
I dont mean to be insentive given the topic your talking about but what's the name of the lip gloss you have on? @jovita
I'm really happy to see all the comments over here. While I am extremely saddened by the fact that there are people who not only sweep such things under the rug but also have accepted that every woman just has to live with such experiences. The least that we as a society can do is acknowledge that sexual harrasment is wrong!
I can't agree more!! Whatever you said is true to every girl in our society. To overcome this more awareness needs to be introduced in modes of self defense and all, but mostly the comfort level should be there between the child and the parents. As a victim myself I know that I could speak about it to my Mom and thank God for that, she then took care of the situation. However, the majority of the kids (of either gender) are still in two minds about bringing up the topic, let alone speaking! Hopefully the new generation of parenting will be different from the way it has been all this past years!!
This couldn't be a easy video to make
I like alot of RUclipsrs but I LOVE you Jovi ... This is a hard subject for us Desi girls thank you
Wow so much truth. Straight on the face!!! #metoo
3:46Soooo very true Jovita didi I have been trying for probably a year in this industry and believe me I m just 18 and faced a lot lot lot I seriously sometimes cry hard I m a short girl and there are a lot of issue with them just because I m a short girl they says ur short u have very low chances so u have to compromise to grow big does my hardworks talents matter?or just they give chances in preferences of breast size look tall nd curvy body even many of them don't at all have any issue with my height even though they say to compromise this is so depressing or even though u have the exact things this industry wants to grab a chance u need to compromise; perverts the main and most important point is 'Compromise' and yea here I say the truth haven't told anyone till date but after seeing her vid I got the courage to say it that I also got molested by one of my uncle in my childhood who is actually my dad's frnd as he is aged than my father my father call him big brother and till date I have to face him so many times in a day..
I have the exact same story like yours and I think majority of the women do. It's Soo sad that we still face these relatives and these monsters act like nothing happened. And we are still ashamed of it as if we were the wrong ones. It's so sad our society has conditioned our brains to think so. We girls need to be taught to be more courageous in life.
Well said......parents teaches their children to not be touched. Yet still when you are a victim the said parents keep quiet and not do or say anything further damaging the child......thank you for speaking.
This was needed. Someone had to speak the truth. Thank you ❤️
I'm so sorry that happened to you. I can really understand not being able to speak about what happened to anyone. #metoo changed my life and I think many other women, no one ever talked about how common sexual abuse is before that.
Girlllll, I need to get my child ready for school and I'm listening and watching your vid ... No tea yet! Lol. Thank you for this video. All around the world society on a hold blame women for every problem, we need to teach boys responsibility for their damn actions and respect towards women( well everyone) they need to know that only Yes means Yes and even Yes can turn into a damn NO!!!
I love you to bits Jovita. Thank you for sharing that with us. You're a brave soul for doing so.
Blessings,
A fellow Kuwait-based vlogger.
This is the best video. I request everyone to share this video everywhere. Let the whole world know about this and learn from it. This is to save the future generation the change has to start and has to start now.
Well said Jovi! It is high time the social stigma surrounding abuse of any kind be broken down. Parenting has a lot to with it but at the same time our educational standards too need a drastic upgrade with regards to self defense and appropriation of touch. Thank you for using your reach to in this topic. I wish more and more popular RUclipsrs speak about this.
I think, no girl, at least in our country, has not had a brush with sexual predators. Be it during childhood or whatever. I have never been molested by relatives or neighbours but definitely remember being touched in an inappropriate manner on train while I was a kid. That was the first time but the memory is still afresh
It is astonishing how many how been touched/assaulted! It seems every female I know has experienced some form of this; being grabbed at a club, a relative, a ‘family friend’, child minder .. Agree with wholeheartedly! Covering great topics in a honest, respectful and delicate manner - thank you !
I think its society change. People are changing and I hope this becomes better. I was in Kochi and people can learn from that city, only city I see that is changing and people don't grop and all. Comes with education and also freeing society. People keep blaming society is being 'westernized'...its not, India is growing, a growing economy and more education. People are growing and being more free and themselves. So use it wisely. :) I did not grow up in India but this has happened to me while visiting India too and it is true we are afraid but I speak up for myself always. Parents/teachers do need to be more open and communication is KEY I AGREE!!!
I choose the happy life too. We have a choice. Stick up for yourself no matter what. And for you women who are suffering, don't worry you will get better and keep moving forward. And this applies to even men, don't be afraid to speak up!
I think also movies need to have a system like PG, R-rated etc. We view Indian movies all the time and it does influence us.
It's true... I also went through Child Abuse I spoke to my parents but they said don't go to their house coz they were my relative and know I still talk to them go visit them but have that much of courage to point them that you are wrong infact free days before I was asked to compromise by casting director but when I said no he said this only way to work I said sorry if this the way I don't want to work here and he even said that as I am married it would be more easy to compromise.... How shamelessly he said
It's so amazing you made this video.
Every word you spoke is true and meaningful.
It's great you took an initiative to speak about this!
Sad to say it but the truth is I don't know a single woman in my family or friends who hasn't been sexually harassed.
I am so proud to be a part of your RUclips followers, jovita, for making this video. I mean it was almost well known that this happens, isn't it? So many women with potential stay away from the film industry because of this. So, why are people having this disbelief at the #metoo movement? I am so glad it is happening. I mean even the standards of what counts as "courting" in the Indian movies makes me cringe. And we were so conditioned to that, that we thought it was ok. I think it is time we as a country, grow up!
Can you give us examples of how you've managed to implement that openness within your own family or with relatives, or maybe direct us to resources for how to approach these discussions and not lose track when we meet resistance? It is hard to imagine having an open conversation about something so sensitive without a few guidelines or facilitated starting points.
i love this video, its a problem not only in India but whole of South Asia. We need to talk about this and not make our kids hate themselves just coz of what they faced alone and we never accepted
I have been abused before at the age of 6 but up to this day, I've never told my parents. And now I'm here in Ireland, and when I talk to my cousin back home in India, she tells me what she goes through. It makes me so angry. I haven't gone back to India for 13 years now. And I'm 20 now. Still don't want to go back but I hope to bring my cousin from there soon.
:(
You are very brave and right! This also happened to me and everyone of my relatives and I am not Indian..
This is soo brave of you Jovita. women need to come forward and share their experience women don't come foward clearly because of the reason for being shunned #strongwomen
The part about the victims being shamed and the perpetrators walking free is the same truth in a lot of religious groups here in the US. I grew up in a "good christian family." And when I told my youth leaders that things were happening to me at home I was told that I should forgive and be silent because if he went to jail I would be responsible for the demise of my family. I lived through 15 years of sexual abuse because I thought I would ruin HIS life if I told anyone. I was later raped violently by a boyfriend and mentally abused to a sickening degree, but wouldn't leave because I had no where to go but back to the person that took my childhood from me.
If you are in a position even close to what I went through, PLEASE go to the police or ANYONE that you can get to listen to you. You are NOT responsible for your abusers feelings, "salvation," freedom, or anything else. You aren't alone, I promise you that. Fight back, because you matter and you are worth fighting for.
This brought tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry for what you've been through. Hope you are in a better place now (mentally, emotionnally...). Victims go through life with a double burden.
@@a.r.tavares1322 I am in a great place now. It's taken me a very long time to even begin to heal, but I'm on my way up ❤ thank you for your kind words.
Seriously dude! You spoke my mind.
Omg. You just spoke my heart. I love you!
I also had this 'Bad' experience in my childhood.. It was by neighbor uncle. He touched me inappropriately on few occasions. I remember thinking i m bad person so this happened to me!!! Now i have grown out of it.. But my biggest fear is how i protect my 4 yrs old daughter from such monsters..
The lipstick shade you have applied please reply